The Mostest Newerest Math
Thee Ace Man
Copyright © 2017 Thee Ace Man & Strategic Book Group. All rights reserved.

 Table of Contents

Chapter 1 – Prelogue
     Subchapter I - Introduction - "Hello"
     Subchapter II - Background - "In the Beginning"
     Subchapter III - Kindergarten - "First Fight Almost"
     Subchapter IV - First Grade - "What Is So Doggone Funny?"
     Subchapter V - Second Grade - "Me, Myself and I"
     Subchapter VI - Third Grade - "A New Beginning"
     Subchapter VII - Fourth Grade - "Who Is This Ace Guy Anyway?"
     Subchapter VIII - Fifth Grade - "Bad News May Not Be So Bad After All"
     Subchapter IX - Sixth Grade - "Newness Wears Off"
     Subchapter X - Seventh Grade - Banished but Not Forgotten"
     Subchapter XI - Eighth Grade - "Leave It to Me"
     Subchapter XII - High School - "Introduction to Buzz"
     Subchapter XIII - Ninth Grade - "New School, but Nothing New To Add"
     Subchapter XIV - Tenth Grade - "Back to Basics"
     Subchapter XV - Eleventh Grade - "Why So Secretive?  What are You Hiding?"
     Subchapter XVI - Twelfth Grade - "Seniority and All That Goes With It"
     Subchapter XVII - Probably Ninth Grade - "What to Believe?"
     Subchapter XVIII - College - "A Different Direction"
     Subchapter XIX - The Real World - "Transistions"
     Subchapter XX - 1983 - "The End or New Beginnings?"
     Subchapter XXI - 1984 - "Something Different"
     Subchapter XXII - 1985 - "Finishing Up, Moving On"
     Subchapter XXIII - 1986 - "Starting With an End and It Just Keeps Ending"
     Subchapter XXIV - 1987 - "A New Beginning or Just Same Old?"
     Subchapter XXV - 1988 - "Return to Normal, Whatever That Is"
     Subchapter XXVI - 1989 - "The Heck with the Past, Keep Moving Forward"
     Subchapter XXVII - 1990 - "Another New Decade but Nothing New"
     Subchapter XXVIII - 1991 Part I - "Insomniac Extreme"
     Subchapter XXIX - Reflections - "Mid Life or Middle of the Book Crisis?"
     Subchapter XXX - 1991 Part II - "Insomnia Continued"
     Subchapter XXXI - 1992 - Breaking Apart for the Better"
     Subchapter XXXII - 1993 - "Nothing Could Be Better"
     Subchapter XXXIII - 1994 - "Wild Dreamer"
     Subchapter XXXIV - 1995 to 1999 - "Memories Return"
     Subchapter XXXV - 2000 - "Nonsense to be Continued..."
     Subchapter XXXVI - 2001 - "We All Died Part II, Not Much Happened"
     Subchapter XXXVII - 2002 - "Past, Present, Future, A Marked Man"
     Subchapter XXXVIII - 2003 - "Back to School"
     Subchapter XXXIX - 2004 - "Lessons Unlearned"
     Subchapter XL - 2005 - "A Year to Forget"
     Subchapter XLI - 2006 - "Bullshit Begets Bullshit, Back to Basics"
     Subchapter XLII - 2007 and Beyond - "Wrapping Things Up"
Chapter 2 – The Beginning and the End of Life
Chapter 3 – Before and After Life
Chapter 4 – The Inseparable Church and State
Chapter 5 – The Crazy Art of Psychiatry and Psychology Debunked
Chapter 6 – The New Math
Chapter 7 – Postlogue
Now Syndrome – Introduction
Now Syndrome – Explanation
Now Syndrome - Writing
The Meaning of Life
The Science of Science
Thee Ace Man's Corner Nook in the Book

Secret Code Page

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 Chapter One – Prelogue

Subchapter I – Introduction – “Hello”

     But before I begin, middle, and end this life story of mine, I need to state this: It is not what we have or do not have, but how we behave towards one another that decides our fates.  The meek shall inherit the Earth, but who are these people anyway?  How will I recognize a meek if I see one? Please read on…

     But first, there is always a catch.  Please be advised, this is not a do all tell all type of book, but a frank and honest discussion of life itself from myself who is still “in the middle” for a limited time like so many others.

     This is a mystory, not history book.  I am not talking about “his” story from someone else’s viewpoint, but about “my” story from myself as I remember it.  Adult as well as childish themes and language abound so reader beware.  You will most likely learn a lot from this book.  Probably more than you wish to know about yourself as well as others.  Please feel free to reread because as you can tell from the size of this book, there is a lot of information to ponder.  Ponder away.

Subchapter II – Background – “In the Beginning”

     Life started for me in December 1964 in a city of over twelve thousand in lower central New York State, United States of America, Planet Earth.  It was a small manufacturing city with a good chance that a person living within this city could find a steady, middle income job without much difficulty or training.  Burly factory workers were everywhere and it was a very rough and rowdy place to grow up in.  A couple gas stations, a couple grocery stores, but bars, inns, and taverns were everywhere.  Black soot from the factories was everywhere also, and even during clear days there was a grayish haze in the air.

      But the city had two halves, the one half was the rough and ready factory workers, while the other half was the quiet executives, that lived on the hill and away from the factories and the workers.  So it was a valley of rough and rowdy misfits surrounded by calm and gentle hills.  The area was not ready to accept a calm and quiet yet rough and rowdy misfit, but life happens and I was born into the middle of these two halves.  I was born a full-blooded misfit, but an outcast because I had executive tendencies.

     My given name was Adrian, but I was originally known as Bubby, and I was the eldest grandchild of both my parents’ families.  As such, and being a misfit, I was taught to fight by my uncles, who were all much older and larger than I was.  I had a wicked temper, but I was not mean and vicious by nature.  By age four, my uncles could hit my hand all day and it would not hurt me, but if I hit their hand, three punches would be about all that they could take before pulling away.

     But the games of seeing who could punch the hardest were coming to an end.  At age five, I would be starting school in kindergarten and being used to my older uncles, it would be quite different with others my same age and size.  I did have some uncles and cousins my age but I was used to rough-housin’ with my older uncles because the younger uncles would either get hurt easily, and run away, or not fight back.  A three-second fight is not fun and I was looking forward to starting school because maybe I could find someone my age that would last more than three seconds.

     I also had a brother, Arthur (named after my great grandfather on my father's side - Arthur 'Tiny' because he was a five foot four inch 130 pounds soaking wet long shoreman in New Jersey) who was born in November 1965 and died of complications from pneumonia in February 1966.

     I also have a sister, Robin, born in May 1967.

     But I was also not just a fighter, but I could read and think things through as quick as the older people, actually, in most instances, quicker.

     Can a rough and rowdy fighter think as well as use their reflexes?

     On my father’s side of the family, I had my great grandfather, Tiny, my grandfather, Zeke, my father, Bud, and my uncle, Butch, that were fighters.  On my mother’s side of the family, I had my grandfather, Popeye / Lee, my step grandfather, Ron / Reggie, and my uncles, Pat and Mike.  I also had a step uncle, Jimmy, but he was more of a troublemaker than a fighter.  The only person close to being an “egghead” was my great grandfather on my mother’s side of the family, who had passed away before I was born.

     Both of my grandmothers had worked together cutting glass at a local glass shop and my parents had talked since they were young.  In fact, my parents were married in July and I was born in December of 1964.  My mother was 16 and my father 19 at the time.  My father was loud, boisterous, and always right, just like his father.  My mother would always voice her opinion “come hell or high water” as well.  So there were always clashes and arguments in the house while my younger sister and I were growing up.  Both of my parents were stubborn, so clashes were inevitable and fairly often.

     I was also born with an infected ventral hernia and had to have my belly button removed.  Instead of the usual belly band, the doctor had read about a new procedure called skin grafting, where skin was taken from another part of the body and sewn in.  I grew up with a large scar around my belly button, but at least I had a belly button even if it was bionic.  Maybe a bionic belly button is better, but how should I know?  At age 2 and a half, I fell off the bleachers at a local softball field and had to have stitches in the top of my head.  Also, by age three, I had to have my tonsils removed.  I was never a sickly child though and was very active.

     About the time school was going to start, my mother was going to the grocery store with my sister and myself in the back seat of the family station wagon.  I sat behind my mother in the car.  Just before getting to the store, the brakes failed in the car and our car then rear-ended another car also attempting to turn left into the grocery store parking lot.  My knee pushed into the back of the driver’s seat and when a police officer arrived I kept saying, “My knee hurts”.  But somehow people thought they heard me say, “My mom’s knee hurts”.  Needless to say, my mom had a couple cuts and scrapes on her knee.  I was looked at by the officer as being psychic since I was too small to see over the seat.  Truth is, others were hard of hearing.

     Around the time of starting school another event in the family happened.  My aunt Kim got married to my uncle Gary who was a volunteer fireman.  I was the ring bearer and my cousin, Rebecca, was the flower girl.  During the ceremony I dropped the rings when I slipped in my shoes.  After the ceremony, about noon, we all went outside to send the bride and groom off.  Of course the noontime whistle went off and a little boy named Bubby could be heard saying, “Uncle Gary, you missed the fire.”  But really, what’s more important, getting married or fighting fires even though it was the noon whistle and not a fire call.

     And of course before school started me and my uncle Butch were rough-housin’ a bit when I gave my uncle a quick karate chop to the throat.  Down my 220 plus pound uncle went from a shot by his 55 to 60 pound nephew.  The ambulance came just as my uncle was regaining his breath.  Stuff happens.

     And what about my first “fishing” story.  Yes, three foot tall four year old snags fish.  It was at a local lake and I was with my father and I believe my uncle Butch.  I was using a beginner’s pole with a five pound test line.  Next thing we know the pole starts bending every which way and the line is definitely being pulled hard.  Advice from the elders, “Give ‘em some slack then real ‘em in after he gets tired.”  The pole is almost bending in half every which way, but I follow the advice.  After a while, the fish starts coming to the surface.  A four foot long Northern Pike also known as (aka) Pickerel for us hicks.  Anyway, yes the fish gets reeled in and snatched in the net.  Well, it was my first “fish” story even if not that spectacular.  Three foot kid snags four foot fish.  Oh well.  Stuff happens.

Subchapter III – Kindergarten – “First Fight, Almost”

     The cut-off date for school was December first and I was born after that date, which gave me time to try and adjust.  I was hyperactive and liked to rough-house, but I was being taught to try and be calm and quiet.

     Kindergarten is about learning and adjusting to interacting with others in the school environment.  Singing, playing with toys, drawing, story making, learning to share, and the like.  Rough-housin’ was not allowed.

     I was out of place, so most of the time I drifted off to the background and at least tried what was asked, but my heart was not into drawing or making up stories and such.

     As far as rough-housin’, the school was three stories high and arranged with the younger kids on the bottom, first floor.  The elder kids, fifth and sixth grade, were on the top floor.

     My kindergarten teacher was a woman and was more into the arts and singing than into dodge ball and other activities that I enjoyed, but there was not a clash between us.  My teacher had her world and I had mine.

     Also, when beginning kindergarten, it was discovered that I had problems seeing at a distance.  At the beginning of the school year, I was found to have astigmatism, and I could pronounce and spell it as well.  So throughout most of the year, except the very beginning, I wore black, horn-rimmed eyeglasses.

     I had baby blue eyes and near platinum blond colored hair.  When born, it was wondered if I would be an albino, but my eyes were blue, not red.  I had distinguishing features, but it was the dorky glasses that stood out.  With these glasses, everyone recognized me and I tried to talk at least a little bit with everyone in my class.

     Because my older uncles liked to fight, and my younger uncles were easy targets, I had learned to keep my older uncles occupied, which would give my younger uncles a chance to be able to do something besides play “walk the plank” and such.  This was on my mother’s side.

     On my father’s side, my aunts and uncles were all grown, so there was a generation gap inbetween.  I had learned to be a buffer between the “bullies” and the “bullied” through my mother’s side of the family.

     In my kindergarten class was a kid named Eddie that would take stuff away from the other kids.  The teacher would try to intervene but Eddie just would not listen.  So, I took the stuff back away from Eddie and gave it back to the kids Eddie took it from.  Of course Eddie tried to blame me for himself getting into trouble instead of how he was behaving.

     Awesome, finally a chance to have my first fight after school.  So, after school, Eddie showed up outside and had his two older brothers with him;  Chucky, who was thin and about five feet tall, and Butch, who was about two hundred plus pounds.  Totally awesome!

     Anyway, I ignored Eddie and asked his older brothers if they wanted to fight me.  At the same time, I was lecturing Eddie about how he needs to leave the other kids in the class alone.  Eddie was scared because he was afraid of his older brothers and I definitely was not.  And Eddie became even more scared after I was ignoring him but also wanting to fight his two older brothers at the same time.  Eddie could even join in if he wanted.

     But Butch and Chucky told me that they weren’t there to fight but only there to say to their step father that they tried to stop the fight.  That way they would not get into trouble with their step father, who was Eddie’s father.  So I said, “Eddie leave the other kids alone”.  Then I pushed a terrified Eddie back into the corner of the bushes with ease.  Then I said to his two brothers standing there, “You sure you don’t wanna fight?”  And they both shook their heads, no.  So I said something like, “This sucks, I’m outta here.”  Then I stormed away mumbling stuff like, “God damned panty waists, too damned chicken to fight me.  What is this world coming to anyway…”  And on and on as I walked down the sidewalk pulling the leaves off the bushes and such on the way.  Needless to say, Eddie did leave the other kids alone in school, but hey, only wimps pick on others that do not fight back and I definitely was not a wimp.

     In dodge ball, I would throw the ball softly to those that weren’t really into the game, and really hard at the kids that thought they were better than others.  So, on the other team, the “better” kids would throw as hard as they could then try to duck behind the other kids so that I didn’t nail them.  Lots of fun.

     And after meeting Butch and Chucky, I would say “hi” to them after school and they would be around the older kids so I would introduce myself.  “Hi, I’m Bubby, wanna fight?” and they would say “no” every time.  One time, however, one kid said to me, “I don’t wanna fight you, if I win then I beat on a little kid and if I lose the others will make fun of me because I got beat up by a little kid.”  And I replied, “That’s all right if you’re chicken, bruck, bruck, bruck.  I’m bigger than you anyway.”  And I put my hand on top of my head then slid it up in the air over his head to show him that I was taller.  Problem was, I had to stand tiptoe to do it.  Oh well, I was stuck in a class full of a bunch of runts that didn’t like to fight and wishing I was older and taller so that I could be with the older kids that liked to rough-house.  So when the teacher asked, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”  I would say, “I wanna be older.”

     So kindergarten draws to a close and for the final, the teacher brings in a bright lamp to draw “silhouettes” on construction paper.  The teacher asks me to take off my glasses so she can draw the silhouette better and a huge pause in the classroom followed by a girl saying, “Oh my god, he’s a hunk.”  So yes, I lost my virginity shortly after that during the summer break but before first grade and a new year at school.

Subchapter IV – First Grade – “What Is So Doggone Funny?”

     But to digress a little, I lived about 6 or 7 blocks away from school and I walked most of the time.  I rarely got sick and only missed a couple days in 6 years at grammar school.  The school sat upon a steep incline of about 35 degrees.  During the spring time, the walkway to school would be covered with white salt pellets.  I wore slick-soled shoes.

     So, near the end of kindergarten, I slipped and cut my bottom lip almost completely off.  It took two adults, that had to grab me by each arm and lift me completely off the ground in order to carry me up the hill with blood gushing from my bottom lip and drenching my clothes all the way to the school nurse’s office.  I kept kicking and screaming, “Leave me alone, I gotta go home” because I didn’t know about a nurse’s station at the school and such.  It was a good thing that they grabbed me, because I passed out about the time they got me to the nurse and I would have never made it to the house.  I must have been quite a sight for the nurse.  From the school to the hospital and I had to have stitches to rejoin my bottom lip.  I started out first grade with a puffy bottom lip.

     I didn’t learn my lesson because I slipped again in first grade and this time it was my top lip.  I still have got a cyst in my upper lip from having it re-attached.  Bionic belly button, bionic lips, oh well.  In first grade, I knew about the nurse so I didn’t need to be carried this time.  Maybe it was top lip in kindergarten and bottom lip in first grade but anyway, my first grade picture was a sight to behold.

     In first grade I was in a class that decided to use a phonetic form of writing.  Bike was spelled bīk and the like.  Each letter had a distinct sound.  It was in first grade where you learn to read and I was the quiet kid in class while still being the “Hi, I’m Bubby, wanna fight?” kid after school.

     The teacher kept asking me to stop using my finger to follow while reading, and when I did, I was not able to read.  The letters would jump around and by using my finger I could have a focus point so that b did not look like p or d.  I could read above a fifth grade level using my finger, but not read at all without using my finger.  I was dyslexic.  The teacher decided to let me keep using my finger to read with.

     Another oddity, while writing, I was ambidextrous as well and I would switch the pencil seamlessly between my hands while writing.

     And of course honesty is the best policy, which leads to another story.  I always did my homework at this time and carried my books to and from school without a book bag, carrying case, or such.  One day, however, I did not have my homework and the teacher asked, “Where’s your homework?”  I had only one answer, “My dog ate it”.  We had a beagle named Lady that loved to eat paper and lick butter straight from the dish.  The entire class busted out laughing after I said what had happened.  The teacher did not believe that a dog could have eaten a whole piece of paper, so I received a zero for homework.

     About a week later…  Lady struck again but this time I was able to pull it out of her mouth before she could gobble it up again.  So the next day I turned in some pretty slobbered up, half-eaten homework.  Quite a sight to behold to say the least.  But yes, honesty is the best policy and can be good for a laugh as well.  Who would have thought that a homework eating dog ever existed, but I had proof.

     At home, I was in charge of cleaning up the dog poop left in the yard.  I never did find my homework that was eaten, but if I had, I sure was not going to carry it to school to hand in.  Legends are not made or born, they just happen.  But why did a homework eating dog happen to me?  Who cares if it makes a good story I guess.

     At the end of first grade, the area had a huge flood that closed school three weeks early.  At first the family stayed with my uncle Butch, but myself and my eldest cousin, Rebecca (Becky), were not getting along well.  So after the water subsided, we moved to my step grandfather’s and grandmother’s home for a while until the area was cleaned up.

     During the flood, an engineer had a brilliant idea.  Put a train on a bridge to help steady the bridge and keep the bridge from washing away.  Was cool to see the bridge and train get washed into the river like a mini train set.

     We lost everything in the flood, but the house was still standing and we had the clothes on our back and a place to stay.  I also had lots of time to see my younger uncles “walk the plank” and such.

     I had a difficult time with subtraction in school until I figured out an odd system that worked.  This was fairly odd but it worked for me.  Take 16 minus 7 for example.  7 minus 6 equals 1 and 10 minus 1 equals 9, so the answer is 9.  And now, 13 minus 7 or 7 minus 3 equals 4 and 10 minus 4 equals 6, so 13 minus 7 equals 6.  It works but at that time don’t ask me how I figured it out.  I just did.  No one showed me and I never showed anyone else.

Subchapter V – Second Grade – “Me, Myself and I”

     School was on a hill, and after the flood waters subsided, the school was changed from “disaster relief” back to a school again.  If I remember right, we were playing basketball with the partitions up in the gym so that the beds people were sleeping on could be left set up.  But second grade started and it was definitely a trying time for me.

     Or better yet, me, myself, and I.  Not because of the flood and all that, but because I had a teacher that was bound and determined that another Napoleon or Hitler existed in the world and Napoleon and Hitler both used both hands to write with.  Only spawns of Satan write with both hands and she was also bound and determined that I was going to write with only my right hand.

     The war was on and daily the teacher would slap her pointing stick or ruler on my desk if I was caught switching hands while writing.  Very annoying for everyone.  She always snuck up behind me to slap the desk but it didn’t startle me, just annoyed everyone else in the class who got startled.  This continued for most of the school year.

     About the middle of the school year, my mind awakened.  I realized that at the top of the paper it just read, “Name______________” and I happened to think, “Isn’t my name, Me?”  So I put “Me” in the name blank on the paper.  The teacher, a woman, was not amused and proceeded, amongst a huge laugh from the class, to lecture me that I was not me.  Oh yeah.  She said, “You’re name is not me, change it.”  To which I replied, “If I’m not me, who am I then?”  Huge laugh from the class.  And the discussion ensued for at least five minutes before the teacher asked me to grab the dictionary and start copying.  I learned a lot of new words in second grade besides learning that Hitler and Napoleon were both-handed like me.

     So the next day, Name __Myself_______, because “I wasn’t feeling myself today.”  And of course, the day after that, Name _______I______, so I learned even more new words and truthfully I is not me, but I have a hard time understanding how I am not I.  You figure it out.

     The teacher thought she had it figured out so the next time the paper had “Your Name ____________”.  The teacher had it figured out all right.  So of course, “Your Name _____You____”.  Then I said to the teacher, “I know; I know.  You’re not you either” and then I continued, “I’ll grab the dictionary.”  And so I grabbed the dictionary and off I went.  It was definitely worth it just to aggravate her back and thus was the life of “Me, Myself, and I” in the second grade.  To this day, I don't think anyone has figured out that if someone had put "Legal Name _____________" on a test then none of this would have happened.  But then again second graders aren't supposed to be able to win arguments with 4 year college graduates.  This was the start of what was to be called "progressive" education (a sure sign is if you see "Your Name" on a test instead of just "Name").  The education system was trying to progress teachers to a level that would be able to deal with second graders on an intellectual level that didn't make the teacher appear too foolish.  Things happen.

     I also learned that I was antidisestablishmentarianistically motivated since I was more “work with what you got and build from there” type of an attitude.  Let’s leave antidisenfranchisementarianism, which is just another big word meaning all-inclusive, out of this discussion shall we?

     I was also attending Sunday School at the local Episcopal church and it was around this time that I asked the Sunday School teacher a couple of questions that amounted to “don’t ever bring that heathen son of yours back here or he will be excommunicated from the church!”

     This was fine with me because I had just asked, “In the Bible, it says Noah led the animals two by two but in another part says that there were seven of the good animals for a sacrifice unto the Lord.”  “Do you know which it is?”  She was upset but my answer was “Any way to ask Noah?” To which the teacher replied something like, “I’m not that old.”  And after that came some jokes about the teacher being as old as Moses or Methuselah.  But this was Church and if part of Heaven or wherever, why couldn’t they talk to those in Heaven or wherever?  Darned if I knew.

     But in my next breath was the question, “We know Jesus was born on December 25th but do you know what year it was?  Surely if you know the month and the day, someone must know the year, right?”  To which the teacher replied, “The year zero.”  To which another in the class replied, “There is no year zero in the Julian calendar.”  Later, information came out about the Mithrites and dancing around pine trees and such.  By that time, I was banished from Sunday School.

     I also did not like the way some people behaved in this church especially towards the nicest person I knew at the church, the janitor.  It was sneakily said that dark skinned people, like myself, who is part native american, would not be able to get into Heaven.  I felt brainwashed and rightfully said so.  That was that and I got banished.  I would rather go to Hell with the nice janitor than live in Heaven with a bunch of snobs anyway.

     Later, after reading through the Bible more, I realized that he (Jesus / Jeshua) was apparently born on the morning of the first day of planting season in either the year 4, 5, or 6 B.C. (BCE).  A tidbit to think about, do you know where it said Jeshua ascended into Heaven wearing just a loin cloth?  Me neither, but who knows?  Back in the day, the crucified were stripped down to a loin cloth then nailed to a cross.  After death they were taken down and dumped somewhere.  Maybe someone ripped Jeshua’s “death shroud” off him before he ascended.  Stranger things have happened I guess, but it seems like someone would have mentioned something like that if it had happened.  The same as it seems someone would have mentioned if Jeshua had ascended into Heaven wearing just a loin cloth.  Something to think about.

     And another tidbit, during the times before and of Noah, they used a lunar calendar.  After Noah, a solar calendar, thus explaining why the ages differed before and after.  A solar calendar is based on the Earth revolving around the Sun, whereas a lunar calendar is based on the Moon revolving around the Earth.  Roughly thirteen lunar years for every solar year.  Do the math.  Methuselah wasn’t THAT old.  So yeah, King David really made out when he had Adam’s 70 lunar years converted to 70 solar years but stuff happens.

     And now I got to sleep in on Sunday mornings.  Cool.  Plus no more of that tree-hugging, love-thy-neighbor, hippy type mumbo jumbo that I did not listen to anyway.  I was a fighter, not a pacifier, and besides that, pacifiers are for babies anyway.

     But wait, let’s backtrack a little here to regular school again.  Wasn’t it written that the teacher only slapped the desk for most of the year, but not all of it?  Yes, true.  Towards the end of the year, the desk beatings stopped.  I lost my virginity after kindergarten and in second grade a girl was doing the “gotta pee dance” while sitting a couple chairs to the left and wearing a skirt.  My imagination let loose and of course the teacher asked me to stand before the class and answer a question.  So I stood up with a huge, long lump straining to get passed the top of my pants belt.  The teacher went out of the class door screaming, “Ahh, I didn’t do it…”  The next door teacher looked inside our classroom after seeing and hearing all the commotion and just shook his head.  The second grade teacher avoided me for the rest of the year and didn’t mention Hitler or Napoleon again in class.  However, Brian, a kid next to me on the right side in class, went from talking about Hitler and Napoleon to comparing me with the Marquis de Sade.

     My sister started kindergarten this same year with the same teacher that I had had for kindergarten.  After one year, my sister was tired of the kindergarten teacher saying, “You’re nothing like your brother.”  But my sister had to study hard and was a “chatterbox”.  I breezed through things easily and was quiet.

     To each their own and really for the better as well.  One of me, myself, and I is bad enough to deal with.  I wouldn’t want a clone.  Would you?

Subchapter VI – Third Grade – “A New Beginning”

     Third grade is the time of my life.  My kindergarten teacher is my third grade teacher as well.  I was starting to write with my right hand most of the time.  I had jammed my left middle finger with a basketball and gave my left hand a rest from writing.

     Third grade ended up being a year of change for me.  I started out as Bubby but ended up as Ace.  This is the year that I met Julie and the way I thought about things changed.  But it was the beginning of the year when I met Julie, and the end of the year when my name changed.

     I was walking home from school one day and I saw two younger boys that I recognized, walking together, going home, after school.  I spoke out and said, “If you two are gonna hold hands, you’re gonna need to learn to fight, wanna learn?”  And the two boys stopped and at first it was one on one, but even two on one I was easily tossing them around.  Next thing that happened was a girl’s voice calling out, “You two leave him alone.”  And I said back, “I started it.”  Then Julie said, “I know those two and they better leave you alone.”  The two kids were stunned and I let go and they took off running after about a minute when they realized I wasn’t going to fight anymore with them.

     Julie and I then started talking and the first words out of my mouth were something like, “Seriously, I started it.”  And Julie said, “Doesn’t matter.  I know you’re a nice boy.”  Next I said, “Want me to carry your books for you?”  And she said, “Yes.”  So off we went towards home.  Next I said, “Does your dad ever hit you with his belt?”  And she shook her head yes.  Next, “Hair brush?”  And she nodded yes again.  Then I said, “My parents tried using the bristle end once but it bounced too much so they turned it back around.”  And Julie said, “Mine haven’t done that yet.”  Next question from me, “Switch?”  And Julie asked, “What’s a switch?”  I said, “It’s when you take a branch off a tree.  I try to get a big branch because it is hard for them to lift unlike the smaller ones.”  And Julie said, “Nope, they’ve never done that.”

     We talked an awful lot for two blocks and both our parents smoked and we didn’t like that.  And both our parents fought and argued which we didn’t like either.  Julie’s favorite color was red and she loved monarch butterflies.  My favorite color was silver and black and then came the end of the walkway and time to cross the street.  So I said, “Which way?”  And she said, “I gotta go this way.”  And I was like, “I gotta go the other way.”  I then said something like, “Nice talkin’ to ya but I gotta go before I get in trouble for bein’ late.”  She said, “Me too.”  I then said something like, “Oops, you’ll need your books.”  I had never done anything awkward that I could remember.  But yes, I dropped the books, hers and mine.  I said, “Sorry, I’m such a klutz.”  And she said, “That’s OK.  I’ll see you again sometime.”  We then picked up our books and went our separate ways.

     The next day I showed up for class and the teacher noticed that I was not wearing my belt around my pants.  The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you wearing your belt?”  And I responded, “My dad hits me with his belt and I don’t want to do that to my kids, so I’m never gonna wear a belt again.”  The next day nearly all the boys in the class were not wearing belts.  The night before I just couldn’t understand why Julie’s dad would ever want to hurt her with a belt.  Julie was a nice, quiet girl in school, and for the first time in my life I had met someone that I just could not think about hurting.  I was a fighter and not a hippy, tree-hugging pacifist and such.

     The next day Julie was also telling people how she met a nice boy named Bubba and more than one kid asked if Julie was stoned or high on something.  Julie only knew about the quiet kid, Bubby, in school, not the “Hi, I’m Bubby, wanna fight?” kid that most others knew.  Also, things got twisted around at school the next day as well.  Julie was known now as the girl that had beat up two boys at the same time!

     Oh well, Julie had met a nice boy that was what mattered and if Bubby was a “nice boy” then no one wanted to argue about it with a girl that had just beat up two boys at the same time!  Plus, Bubby was always looking for a fight anyway.  Julie went from the “nice and quiet” girl to being known as a fighter and I went from being the fighter to being “a nice guy”.

     A few people came up to me and asked me, “Are you really a nice guy now?”  And I said, “If Julie says I am then I must be.  Do you wanna fight about it?”  Then they would say, “No, no, just askin’.”  Then came “Bubby and Julie sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, second comes marriage, then comes Bubby in a baby carriage.  Suckin’ his thumb, wettin’ his pants.  Doin’ the hula hula dance.  Bubby’s in love.  Bubby’s in love.”  And I would say, “Yeah, wanna make somethin’ of it?”  And then they would back away.  I was still Bubby after all.

     Julie and I walked together a few more times but it started getting close to the end of the school year and I wouldn’t see Julie again until next school year.  So near the end of the year I asked Julie, “Julie, you know my real name, Adrian, Andrew, and Bubby, Bubba, but I could use a better name.  Can you help me?”  And Julie said, “If you wanna go out with a girl, what’s the first thing you look at?”  And I answered, “Face.”  And Julie said, “How about Ace?”  And I said, “Cool!”  Then I said, “”I’m gonna tell everyone my name’s Ace from now on.”

     So the next day at school I said, “Hi, my name’s not Bubby anymore.  It’s Ace now and I’m a nice guy.  If you call me Bubby again I’ll kick yer ass.”  What a nice guy, right?

     But after Julie came up with the nickname Ace for me, I said to Julie, “How does Jules sound?”  Then I explained, “Not like the Crowned Jewels that just sit on a shelf and collect dust, but the Family Jewels that someone would want to start a family with?”  Julie said, “OK” and we finished our walk only I had forgotten in all the excitement and actually walked all the way to Julie’s house this time.  Oops.

     Anyway, on the way, we did the dandelion test where you put a dandelion under your chin and if your chin turns yellow… which of course it did.  Was a big time of change for me throughout third grade.  The biggest change was that I did not feel like fighting anymore.  As well, Julie’s next door neighbor, Brian, who started the Marquis de Sade jokes last year, was doing Family Jewels jokes at the end of this year.

     Another oddity.  At this time in the history of the USA, there were a bunch of brats that were trying to get away with stuff by holding their breath.  A “childish” form of suicide so to speak.  Adults’ response at the time was “Oh whatever shall I do, my baby”.  My response was, “Let the spoiled brat ‘do themselves in’ then realize that all the brat is going to do is turn red or blue in the face then pass out then start breathing again.  Spoiled brat, don’t give into this and definitely don’t give them what they want.  The ones holding their breath are just trying to get away with something bad.  Don’t let them get away with it no matter what!”

     Adults listening to a nine year old?  It happened.  After getting a headache then NOT getting what they wanted the “I’m gonna hold my breath and you won’t have me around anymore” hoax stopped.  Dumb nine year old.  Adults should never listen to kids.  But then again why not?  It worked didn’t it?

Subchapter VII – Fourth Grade – “Who Is This Ace Guy Anyway?”

     Fourth grade was a year of transition for me in many ways.  The nickname change was only part of this change.  Previously, if someone got 11 points on a 10 point quiz, then they bubbied the test because it was Bubby that was usually the only one that got that extra point that even I, Bubby, did not know existed.  I was usually the first one done on tests and quizzes with also the highest grade on tests and quizzes.  Well, actually, the tougher the test or quiz, the higher the grade I got.  I always messed up the “easy” stuff.  But I was Ace now so it went from bubbying a test to aceing the test.  Same thing just different name is all.

     But also, Julie wanted a nice boy so I was trying my best to be a nice boy whatever that was.  But a nice guy apparently does not go around looking for fights and such.  So a definite change inside myself.  When looking for a fight, I could not find one.  Now that it was going around that I was a nice guy, it seemed like others that would not fight before wanted to fight now.  I had never been hurt in a fight, but I realized that others got hurt in fights.  After meeting and talking with Julie, I just did not feel like hurting anyone anymore.  Before Julie, I really did not care about anyone or anything, I just liked to rough-house a lot because I was hyperactive dealing with all the yelling and screaming and such going on inside the house.

     Most of my time growing up was either spent outside or just sitting alone in my room.  At school, I would talk to anyone but it was usually just short jokes or comments like, “How’s it goin’?” and such.  I didn’t really talk much, just idle chit chat.

     My new teacher was a guy this year and a very nice guy that did not get upset easily.  I was just learning to be a nice guy, my fourth grade teacher was the real thing.  Because of Julie, I was becoming more honest and open about things.  With my new teacher, I was talking a little more but still keeping to myself most of the time.

     I started becoming more of a smart ass however.  Anything I could verbally bash or cut down to size, I would.  I became totally against stereotyping anyone or anything.  Stuff like, “Of course he’s a dork, he doesn’t know any better.”  And “Nice guys finish last, but would you please stop touching my bottom.”  And the like.  Of course I was very punny and using double, triple, or quadruple meanings to an extreme.  “Life is like a bowl of cherries, so why not pick your nose like you pick your friends.”  I was still rowdy, just not so rough.

     At the time I also started making up words like Texbutt and Arkansbutt and Nerbuttska and such because after all kids shouldn’t be saying ass all the time (especially not us nice guys).  Plus “sound it like it spells” with pronuncications (pronunciations) like skizzers (scissors) and bologna (not boloney) and such.

     There was a kid in my class named Cort that was a straight A type student.  Once Cort learned something, he remembered what he learned.  Once I learned something, I would try to prove how messed up it was.  In other words, Cort was a genius; I was a gifted genius.  Cort memorized and learned a lot of things and I figured out warped ways to apply that knowledge.  Cool.  Even better words, Cort was an egghead and I was a cracked egghead.  Cort was very studious and I was not.  I realized that Cort was a focused person and I wasn’t.  To each their own, not good or bad, just different.  I was used to chaos and turmoil, like Julie, but Cort was not.  Apples, oranges, and kumquats.  Dollars make cents (sense).  Three square Tic-Tac-Toe is futile but four, five, and beyond worked well.  A page full of dots for games of Connect the Dots to make squares.  Find a word puzzles with hidden meanings.  Definitely a new direction from “wanna fight?”  And a nice guy teacher too.  This is not what I had expected in life.

     Outside school, I was finding out that the neighborhood had gangs.  First Street Gang, Second Street Gang, Third Street Gang, Park Ave Gang, and others.  Julie was in Second Street and Park Ave Gang territory and I was in Third Street Gang territory.  Second Street and some Park Ave Gang members were not too happy about this.  Let the rumbles begin with chains, knives, spikes, and such, galore.  In fifth and sixth grade I was asked if I wanted to join the Third Street Gang and I refused.  I was a gang unto myself, no hard feelings, but not for me.

     Also, outside school I was playing baseball as well as street football.  Most people in the neighborhood worked 8 to 4 so there was not much traffic on the streets at other times.  But baseball in summer and street football in the winter with 1-2-3 Bob-A-Ree (team hide and seek) at night.  Not much time for fighting anymore.  Heck with homework too.  If I didn’t do my homework at school, I just didn’t do it at all.  That’s how I got so fast on tests and quizzes.  I would hurry through stuff in homeroom before school so I figured out how to do things quickly and efficiently.

     But I was Ace now and was now well known for having the best grades on tests and quizzes, while having the poorest effort rating.  Yup, A+ grade, unsatisfactory effort.  A+ 4 or in grammar school (K-6), excellent for the grade, poor for the effort.  I guess grades aren’t that important.  It’s not what you know or how well you know it, but what really matters is how well you can copy stuff out of a book.  Bah.  I was learning about dinosaurs, sharks, and all kinds of cool stuff outside school and I did not care if an exclamation point was necessary or not.  A big shark is a big shark whether it was 30 feet or 31 feet long.  Sheesh!  I understood, but just did not care.  That’s the way I have always been, I do not care, until Julie.  I did and still would care about Julie.

     My dad also played drums in a country music band at this time.  My room was by the basement door and they would practice in the basement.  I listened to pop music and was not much of a country music person.  Most of the country songs sounded like a bunch of babies whining about how stupid they were and having post nasal drip to boot.  Not my cup of tea.  But slapping sticks on a set of drums was cool.  Beat ‘em up, harder, faster, eww… wipe out…

     I guess my parents’ ceaseless bickering wasn’t so bad after all.  I had drum lessons and chorus (with Julie) in school and piano lessons after school with my mom’s cousin, Linda, who was dying of cancer.  Did I mention I was in chorus with Julie?  Yes, I joined the “damned sissy chorus”.  I was an ace harmonizer but never a soloist.  Great voice, no direction or distinction.  I had a pure voice that didn’t waiver.  I never took voice lessons nor guitar lessons.  I started out playing guitar left-handed but I got tired of changing the strings around so that my sister could play right-handed.  So I switched to learning to play guitar right-handed.  Left-handed bass and drums, right-handed guitar.  Piano is, of course, both hands.

     I saw Julie on occasion in chorus but did not see her that often, but we thought about each other a lot.  I was also worried that Julie would find out that I was not such a nice guy before when I was known as Bubby and not Ace.

     Anyway, things were different this year.  It was a year of transition where I learned a lot about life in general.  Julie also had a best friend, Karen, who was a chatterbox.  When Julie came up with my nickname, Ace, she also came up with a nickname for Karen, Jaws.  I said, “Because she can’t keep her big mouth shut.”  And Julie said, “No, because every time she opens her mouth, she puts something in it.”  Well, I put my foot in my mouth on that one, but Julie forgave me.

     Lots of stuff going on this year but nothing very eventful for me until near the end of next year.  Last year was my first year in baseball and the team finished dead last.  I think the only game we won last year was because the other team could only field eight players and had to forfeit.  Maybe not though, but I played horrible my first year.  This year in baseball we finished in third place.

     In April 1974, we took a trip to Connecticut and on the way back, we stopped and watched a professional baseball game.  As a promotion, the stadium had a free helmet day.  We asked the gentleman if we could pick any helmet and he said “yes”.  So my sister and I both picked the same team helmets.  The thing was that the team we picked was not playing this day.  Consequently, during the game, the game announcer could not believe that there were two kids in the stand wearing helmets for a team not on the field.  After the game and after we got home, everyone knew who we were and they definitely knew we were at the game because the TV cameras kept coming back to two kids in the bleachers that were wearing helmets on helmet day for a team not playing that day.  Stuff happens.

     But there was also quite an event near the end of the school year but not baseball related.  I was walking home and while walking two older kids started talking to me.  I recognized the one as Mike who had given a presentation to our class for his other class he was taking.  Mike and Jim did the presentation, but this time it was Mike and someone else that I couldn’t see too well.  I thought the other person may be Jim but he seemed a bit taller than Jim.  Anyway, Mike and his friend came up behind and start talking then Mike puts his arm around my neck and put a jackknife to my throat and asked for money.  I had some change in my pocket but I just said calmly, “I ain’t got no money” which Mike replied, “I’ll see you tomorrow and you’d better have some money.”  Then he let go and Mike and his friend went one way and I went the other.

     I got home and told my mother about it and told her flat out, “I’ll handle it tomorrow.  They aren’t gonna sneak up on me again and if they aren’t smart enough to run away, I’m gonna kick some ass!!!”  Next thing I know I am over at the police station talking to a cop about what happened and the cop saying, “You did the right thing.  You’re safe.  You got away.”  My reply was, “Yeah, they snuck up on me so I let them get away but they won’t be so lucky next time!”   After leaving the police station, I then proceeded to yell at my mother for getting the cops involved when I would have handled it.  I was pissed at my mother for this.

     Next morning I got called into the school principal’s office and Mike confesses.  Plus, it wasn’t Jim but another kid I had not met named Wayne.  Never saw them again but after this if anyone tried to sneak up behind me, they got surprised big time with at least an elbow to the gut.  My reflexes were very fast now and although I was very thin, I was all muscle.  If you hit me, you hurt yourself.  I drank milk constantly and my bones and muscles were very strong.  I could actually pound a nail into a board with my fist, but I looked all skin and bones.  I was still a fighter at heart, but I felt a need to change because I did not feel like being a fighter with Julie.

     Then another incident happened between fourth and fifth grade.  My father’s father lived about four and a half blocks away, and my sister and I rode our bicycles there.  One day though, Casey and Chipper stopped me and my sister and said they wouldn’t let us go unless I fought them.  So Casey got three cracked ribs, four bruised ribs, a punctured lung, and a mouthful of blood.  After that beating Chipper said, “You want me to take care of him for you?” and Casey shook his head no.  I wanted to kick Chipper’s ass too but I also had to take care of my sister too.  My head came to about Casey’s neck.  Chipper was even bigger and bulkier but still not the size I was used to with my uncles.  So I left unhurt but now bawling my eyes out, crying, because I thought Julie might find out that I’d been fighting and not like me anymore.  Casey got to wear a rib bandage for a while as well.  My sister got to my grandfather’s house and called our parents and told them what had happened.  So of course, more nonsense.  I had handled it.  I came; they saw; I kicked some ass.  But I didn’t want to be a fighter anymore.

     But also it seems that the things you don’t like are the things you become best at.  That’s life.  Doing a bunch of things you don’t like but are good at while not having enough time to do the things you want to do.  Yes, I grew up way too fast.  I had more in common with the grown ups than kids my age.  Life is a beach and I am a son of a beach.  Oh yeah.

     It was third or fourth grade that I also had a very odd thing happen.  My father was practicing with the band downstairs at night and I was getting ready to go to bed so I turned out the light.  When I turned out the light there was a very defined image in light by the basement door of a man sitting in a chair with a child on his left leg.  The man was sitting but looked to be about six feet tall with a beard and mustache and wearing a long white robe with sleeves that covered his arms and upon his feet were open-toed sandals.  The man had dark hair and eyes and his hair was full and wavy and brushed back off his forehead and just passed his shoulders in back.  The man looked to be between the age of 35 and 38.  The child had short blond hair and blue eyes and was wearing a boys’ suit with tied black shoes and looked to be about three years old.  The chair was solid with decorations all over it including a rounded top with two birds etched into the top, wings outstretched forward towards each other and facing each other in the middle.  In the late 1980’s I realized that this chair fit the exact description of the “mercy seat” or Throne of Judgment mentioned in the Bible for the Ark of the Covenant.  Nothing spoken and I turned the light off then back on again and still there.  Then I looked under the bed and out the window to see if it was some weird light source but nothing.  I then left the light off and closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep thinking, “I knew it.  I got the wrong soul now it is gonna be replaced.”

     So I went to sleep.  Well, I tried to sleep anyway, but I just kept my eyes closed.  I wake up the next morning, still the same as I was.  No new soul for me.  I realized afterwards though, the significance of the 40 days and 40 nights and 40 years in the wilderness and 40 days on the mountain.  The Creator, who has no name that we could pronounce, is 40 years old.  Duh.  But with all that’s going on in the world, why me?  OK, OK, I finally admit it.  I am a big problem, that even the one that stretched out the heavens and all that, has problems dealing with, and I left him speechless as well.  He didn’t look upset or happy; he just looked like he was waiting for some lightning to strike and quiet down that damned country music noise coming from downstairs.  He just picked the wrong night to visit, but I haven’t seen him before or since.

     A few years later my mother had found a silvery metal cross out in the yard and gave it to me.  This cross was beaten up and nicked and scarred.  A short while after getting this cross I held it upright inbetween my fingers and said to myself, “If you really exist may 20 dollars appear out of the sky from nowhere and land on the ground.”  About a week after doing this I threw the cross away and never looked for it again.  A short while after throwing the cross away, my mother came into my room and told me a story of about how a week before my mother was outside and a 20 dollar bill floated down from the sky and landed on the ground and my mother picked it up.  I threw this cross away for a good reason and have never regretted it.  The reason why I threw the cross and would throw any other object viewed as religiously significant is because it says in the Holy Bible and I agree that objects are just that objects.  People should not worship objects nor believe in magic and miracles and such.  What happens happens whether we like it or not.  Whether we pray for it to happen or not.  It is not up to me to decide what happens only to accept.

     It is also not right to tempt nor give into temptation.  So I will explain temptation as best as I can.  What does 20 dollars have to do with a cross?  Just because the 20 dollars fell from the sky does not nor does justify existence, does it?  Of course not.  What is is.  Temptation is instead of flat out asking that which you wish to know and expecting an answer, you ask for a sign or such as an answer.  Not good.  Or you wish for an event to happen a certain way as “proof”.  Not good either.  But temptation is saying something like, “If I am good, I want a million dollars by the time I am 30 years old.”  You make deals with the devil, Satan, not with the one that stretched the heavens above the earth and such.  I learned my lesson wisely and my mother got 20 bucks out of the “deal”.  To each their own.  So be careful what you wish for because someone else may get it and be happy as well.  Value life not images or objects.  Value yourself and those around you of value.  For what is it all worth anyway?  Keep the change and the bills.  Life is what it is.  What happens happens whether we like it or not and whether we wish or pray for it to happen or not.  The truth is always the truth.  And my truth is that “No, I don’t know Jesus, I’ve seen the other two, the one that stretched the heavens above the Earth and his son, the Holy Spirit, but I don’t know the grandson, Jesus.”

Subchapter VIII – Fifth Grade – “Bad News May Not Be So Bad After All”

     Onward to fifth grade where my attitude had greatly changed throughout fourth grade.  I was no longer the “Hi, I’m Bubby, wanna fight?” kid, but I was now the “Hi, I’m Ace, proctologist, you would be surprised at the amount of money you can save by not using rubber gloves and who’s gonna look back and check.  Wanna shake hands?” or “Hi, I’m Joseph Konyu, great white buffalo hunter.  You may not have herd of buffalo, but surely you’ve heard of joke on you.” kid.  I went from being rough and rowdy to being the ultimate “smart ass” and everyone likes a smart ass, right?

     With fifth grade came my final adjustment.  Instead of brute force, I used mental force.  I became a mental and physical behemoth.  Not just brawn but brain as well.  I was a force to be reckoned with.

     Cort had a friend in Kirk and I formed a small gang with Damon, Chris, and most of all, Joe.  Joe was adjusting to having a step father and was pretty quiet before.  Joe was also into military stuff and I was into about everything else.  Joe and I were usually pretty quiet in school before, but we both made up for it in fifth grade.  Handing notes to the teacher as jokes and signing them “Joe’s Mother” with things like, “Please excuse Joe from school today because Joe is feeling sick of school, signed, Joe’s Mother.” And “Please excuse Joe from Gym Class today because getting up out of bed was too much exercise already, signed, Joe’s Mother.” and the like.

     One note, however, struck a nerve with the teacher.  The note was, “Please excuse Joe because Joe is dead, signed, Joe's Mother."  Which of course, even death was not an excuse to get out of school or homework (sound familiar even to this day, but joking about death was unheard of back in 1975-1976 because many people believed if you said it, it might happen).  But it struck a nerve with the teacher because of the content, death.  Even though I meant it as a joke, the teacher took “the death note” seriously and asked “What if it was really true?” which I replied something like, “Does it look true?”  I kind of backed off of “Joe’s Mother” notes for a while after that but still had fun in other ways.

     Joe and I both came out of our shells this year and I imagine our teacher kept wishing we would crawl back into our shells.  Joe and I were definitely a handful, nah, a planetful of mischief this year.  Chris and Damon as well, but just not as much as Joe and I were.  Joe was in the slower classes and I was put in the faster classes.  Joe and I used to be considered shy but not anymore.  Joe was a little large around his waist but was not one to throw his weight around.  Julie was with her best friend, Karen, and I was with Joe, and Cort with Kirk, and so on.

     Also, this year, our 5th grade teacher, Mr. D, had a full plate with me in his history class.  First was the story of Grant's Tomb mentioned elsewhere, but also a long discussion on 'rhetorical questions.  The discussion started with "Does anybody know what a rhetorical question is?" and nobody, not even myself, answered.  Next, Mr. D had 5 questions written on index cards in his hands and he proceeded to read off the questions.  First question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"  Of course a kid raised his hand and answered, "To get to the other side."  Index card placed under Mr. D's leg as Mr. D said, "Bad example I guess.  Next question."  "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"  I raised my hand on that one and then answered, "Chicken."  And Mr. D. said, "Are you sure about that.  Was the first chicken hatched from an egg or did the chicken just appear as a chicken?"  And I said, "I'm sure it was the chicken because every horny rooster knows you can screw with an egg and it ain't never gonna cum."  Mr. D then said, "Another wrong example I guess.  Next question."  Index card under the leg again.  Next index card.  "Why are we here?"  I raise my hand again and Mr. D. calls on me again.  I answer, "Because we can't be two places at once."  And Mr.D. says, "Explain."  So I said, "We can't be two places at once and since that we can't be there so we must be here, right?.  Mr. D. then said "Can't argue with that."  Then the index card gets put under his leg again and again he says, "Bad example.  Next question."  "Why is the world round?"  Of course I raise my hand again on this one and he calls on me again.  I answer, "Because if it was flat everyone would have fallen off the edge by now."  Then Mr. D puts all the index cards under his leg.  Then Mr. D. says, "A rhetorical question is a question that doesn't have an answer, does anyone have an idea for a question that doesn't have an answer?"  And one of the other kids raises his hand and says, "Why do they teach us such stupid stuff in school?"  To which Mr. D. said, "Anyone got an answer for that including Mr. Smart Ass?"  Then Mr. D. said that on the next test would be a question asking for an example of a  rhetorical question and feel free to use the question as the answer on the test.  Everyone except me got the answer right.  Unfortunately, I put 'Why do we have to learn such stupid stuff in school?' on the test, but after that I worte 'because the board of education makes us do stupid stuff'.  Oh well.  Grades aren't as important as learning stuff is it?

     Our class was in second place in kickball, but baseball outside school was a different story, and what a story it is.  The team that I was on for baseball was probably one of the biggest collections of misfits to ever play on one team.  We were all athletically declined.  There was myself, the geek with the dorky looking black glasses.  Paul, who was the heaviest kid in the league.  Paul and I switched between pitcher and first base.  Justin was a utility player (but usually left field or shortstop) that used two gloves, left and right, because he was ambidextrous.  Kenny, who started out as the third shortest kid in the league but ended up being the shortest by the end of the season, that recited rhymes to whomever came up to the plate.  Tommy E, who played third base, and would pick his nose and wipe it on whomever came to third base and threaten to beat you up the next day after school if you even dared to cross home plate.  It was also primarily a white area but there were three black kids in the league (as well as the dorky native american, me).  David and Mike were fast runners but were on other teams.  We had Sammy who was bulkier than Mike or David and not as fast playing center field.  We also had several kids that were just starting out their first season.  Most notably among them was Ted, who played second base to a bunch of bad hops and missed every ball that came his way all year.  In addition, before the season began, a girl, Chelsea, tried to sign up for the league but was denied because it was a boys’ league and she was a girl.  Bummer, we would have been a perfekt team of unjocks specially led by our intoxicated, barefoot in the grass, head coach, Mr. W.  Quite a team and quite a sight to behold on the ball field.  We were considered the team “that didn’t belong in an organized sewing class much less a ball field.”  We were a team of so-called rejects and not an athlete amongst us.

     At the beginning of the baseball season, the other coaches said we would be lucky to win five games out of a fourteen game season.  Paul had about a 75 mile an hour fastball which was not bad for a bunch of 8 to 10 year olds.  The league, however, was made up of 8 to 12 year olds and most of the athletes / jocks were on two teams.  Our team looked more like refugees from a chess club than a baseball team.  Even without the girl, we were a bunch of misfits.  But how could a bunch of geeks and dorks finish the season tied for first place with two other teams and a 12 win 2 loss record?

     What a year and we heard about it all year and how the other teams were mortified to even take the field to play against such a group of ‘losers’.  I had only given up 14 walks all season and 12 of those were in one game against one of the “powerhouse” teams.  Yes, the umpire was very bad in that game.  I didn’t pitch any different but when a ball goes over the center of the plate thigh high and the umpire calls, “ball”, you know you’re in trouble.  I did pull a fast one, however, on one batter.  The other team was notorious for sticking their heads over the plate if the ball was thrown high, then get hit and take their base.  I had one high ball thrown all day, a two foot sinker, that afterwards the kid batting looked down and saw the ball go into the catcher’s mitt.  It was still called a ball by the umpire but the kid looked ridiculous sticking his head out like he did and having the ball drop down and go across the plate so that the batter could watch from such an awkward position.  We lost the game though as well as another hard fought game to the other powerhouse team.  I pitched both losses.

     Finally, the last game of the season and we were ahead 13 to 7 and if we held the other team (we had an 11 – 2 record and they were 10 - 3), we would win the game and be in a three way tie for first place.  If we lost, there would be a two way tie for first place and a two way tie for second place.  It was a pretty lackluster game for the first four innings of our last game.  We weren’t playing bad but we weren’t playing great either.  Then came the fifth inning and if we held the other team, we would win because of a 5 run per inning rule.  I took the mound with a different attitude than before.  Paul had worked hard all year and I had pretty much goofed off all year.  I wanted the team to win this game and be tied for first place.  For the other team it was their second, third, and fourth position batters in their lineup.  The other team was coming up to bat and I was ready to win this one.

     First ball thrown to the first batter.  The ball hits the glove, the batter swings after the ball is in the glove, “Strike one”.  Both the first two batters go down in succession after the ball goes by before they can even get the bat off their shoulders.  That ball was going at over 105 miles an hour and during the second batter, a lady across the street from the ballpark came out of her house and yelled across to us, “How can you be calm and play ball when there’s some lunatic out there shooting off a gun.  Shouldn’t you be running for cover?”  To which my father, the assistant coach, answered back, “No guns.  We’re fine.  It’s just my son’s fastball.”  Then the lady yelled back, “Oh, OK, so long as you’re all fine, I was gonna call the cops.”  And the lady went back into her house.

     Now comes the third batter or their ‘cleanup’ hitter, Ty.  Tom H and Scott, the other batters, had not even come close to hitting the ball.  Now it was Ty’s turn to try.  First pitch, ball in glove, Kenny waits for Ty to finish swinging, “strike one”, then Kenny throws the ball back like before.  Second pitch, Ty has the bat lowered straight back instead of on his shoulder this time.  The ball goes across the plate untouched, “strike two”.

     How our catcher, Kenny, ever survived those eight pitches without the beaten up catcher’s mitt breaking apart is still a mystery to me.  For the next pitch, Ty, the batter, just stuck his bat out over the plate.  The ball was going much too fast to be able to swing the bat at the ball even a short distance.  I throw the ball as before and it hits Ty’s bat and shoots way high up into the air.  I lose sight of the ball instantly and I look over to Paul at first base.  I see Paul looking up for a short while then Paul looks over at me, Paul can’t see it either.  Meanwhile, at home plate, Ty yells over to his coach, “You broke my bat.  You owe me a new bat.”  And then Ty bangs the end of the bat on the ground and you can hear a distinct rattle in the bat from where the bat split in the handle from contact with the ball.

     Yes, a broken bat, fly ball, drag bunt that took approximately 30 seconds to play out on the field but seemed like 30 minutes.  This was a very high fly ball indeed.  While walking towards the dugout, Ty’s coach yells out, “It could be a fair ball, RUN!”  And Ty takes off and goes to first base then on to rounding second base.  I had lost sight of the ball.  I looked towards centerfield and Sammy had lost sight of the ball as well.  Who was left still tracking the fly ball?  Ted was still left.  I looked at Ted still tracking the ball then I looked away at the grass because I didn’t want to see Ted sprawled out after getting bonked from at least a thousand foot high fly ball broken bat bunt.  Ty rounded second base and was ready to head for third when Ted caught the ball and held onto it for the final out of the regular season.

     A while later, Kenny told me that the ball had a distinct hum / whistle to it and sounded like the same whistle sound made by cannonballs in the movies.  Ted gave me the ball from the game and you could actually see where the black rubber center had come out of the center and was up against the cover of the ball where the bat had hit it.  The ball had hit the bat and split the wood in the bat along the grain.  You could see the precise spot where the ball hit because the impact split the grain of the bat so that one part split towards the handle, and the other part split towards the meat of the bat.  Two splits with the point of impact in the middle of the two splits where the ball had hit.  Three way tie for first place.  Playoff time.

     Our team and our intoxicated coach got the lucky break of not having to play the first game.  Very lucky because we would have had to use Justin as our pitcher because Paul had pitched his innings for the week and I had only one inning left to pitch with.  The other two teams played and the winner got to play against us misfits.  Because of the break, Paul got to pitch this game which was what I was hoping for.  Paul had worked very hard and played his best all year.  It was only fitting that he would get to pitch this deciding game.  Before, there were no “superstars” on our team, but after my nine pitches, I was looked at as a superstar.

     Paul was pitching terribly and was pitching more like I had during the year and did not have his usual speed on the ball.  During the game I started yelling for Paul and wondering if maybe Paul’s arm had got sore or something.  Paul told me that he had been asked by the coach to pitch the game to keep it close so that I could be brought in for my final inning to use my blazing fastball and shut the other team out.  After hearing this I did not want to play the rest of the game and I wanted to lose.  Paul had worked so hard all year and put up with so much.  Paul could have easily won that game on his own and should have but was asked not to do his best.

     When the time came and I was brought in, I didn’t do my best either.  We lost 21 – 20, but winning isn’t everything anyway.  It would have only been a win if Paul had been allowed to pitch and show off his stuff, instead of trying to make me a superstar.

     Good thing for the other team we lost as well.  All during the game, the other team’s mothers were yelling out stuff like, “You’re grounded for life if you lose to those geeks.”  And “Don’t expect to have a home to come to if you lose.”  And of course, “Don’t expect me to cook supper for a kid who loses to a bunch of geeks.”  Isn’t popularity wonderful?  If this was what winning was about, I’d rather be a “loser”, wouldn’t you?  Paul was asked to pitch his worst and the other team just barely won.  Oh well.

     Season over and if we had only been allowed to have that girl on our team we would have won it all undefeated I imagine.  As far as the game before, when we tied for first place.  After the game was over I got to meet the person who told Ty to just stick his bat out.  This person introduced himself as Jimmy and said he used to play centerfield and was considered one of the two fastest base runners in his league.  He said his name and what team he had played for.  He played for a professional team but was segregated and then retired when the league dissolved after desegregation.  He had played with many superstars but had always thought that the fans came wishing they could play too.

     After this game, this person told me that it was the first time he had ever known what it really felt like to be a fan.  He had always played the game and never really knew what it felt like to be on the bleachers rooting for the people on the field.  This game he watched me pitch had brought back many great memories he had of being a ball player.  He had watched many games before and seen many people that were talented, but he had never felt involved in a game if on the bleachers.  He always felt like being a player, not a watcher.  He told me he had played against many players, but this game he watched me pitch brought back his memories of how they used to play against Satch.  He was at a loss for words because now he knew what the other fans really felt like when they came to the stadium to root for him.  In his golden years, he learned to love being on the other side of the fence as well.  He loved the game of baseball even more and finally got passed his being too old to play anymore and enjoyed reliving his own experiences with others.  He was happy again and it showed.  He had seen Nolan but not anyone who reminded him of Walter, Bob, or Satch until me in our final season game.

     Jimmy also told me that I pitched like Satch and that I had the same slim, lanky build with the same skinny arms as well.  As Satch got older, his pitching style changed from his early, simple 'step and throw' type windup like Walter and Cy used, to the more modern windup style.  From having done it myself, I know that the modern style windup for pitchers in baseball will not allow a pitcher to achieve the speeds that I achieved nor Cy nor Satch nor Walter back in the day.  Too much motion in the modern windup.  The old style windup was just straight forward throwing.  Also, the old style required a huge amount of balance because after the ball was released, the momentum of your arm would knock you over if you didn't have your leg just right.  No high leg kick, no banging your knee on the ground, or any of that.  Just a straight forward step and delivery.  Lock that front leg and swing the body around on delivery.  Nothing special or fancy just 'rock and throw'.  Also, Bob was not a fast pitcher but had a screwy windup where Bob would curl up into a ball then throw making it difficult to time the pitch at about 98 mph.  After this, Jimmy also told me of a story he had of long ago when him and the other players used to play after hours on a plain ball field with himself, George, Satch, Josh and others whenever George would be in town.  George would grab a couple umpires and say, "you wanna make a couple extra bucks?" and the guys would go off to a deserted field somewhere and play sandlot baseball together shirts versus skins (and usually George's team was shirts).  It was during one of these games that Jimmy sat down next to George and George said to Jimmy, "Jimmy, I know what you're gonna ask and you're one heck of a ballplayer and you should know the truth.  The coach and the league asked me to keep quiet but you deserve to know what happened."  Next George said, "Each time I came up to the plate Gabby said 'Babe, where wuz ya last night, me and the boys missed ya while we were out, where wuz ya?' and the like.  George was well known for hitting the bars at night before a game but wasn't out the night before the third world series game.  George continued to Jimmy, "Finally I had enough and I leaned back to Gabby and said 'you really wanna know where I was last night?  I'll tell ya where I was.  You see that hot little number out there in the fifth row (and George pointed his bat) That's where I was last night.  And then I put all I had into it and the good Lord willing I hit the ball.'"  And this story was told to me in 1975 after Hank beat George's lifetime home run record in 1974.  And honestly, compared to George and Josh, Hank swung the bat like a rusty gate.  But so much for my career as an ace reliever after the playoff game.  Relieving myself nonetheless.  And so the season ended.

     But this was at the end of fifth grade.  What about fifth grade itself?  Yes, definitely a year where the change in me paid off.  I was also dealing with my parents, just as Julie was trying to deal with hers.  Now our parents were dealing with a system that said, “Do not hit your kids.”  Our parents were being told to discipline by taking things away.  The things that mattered most to Julie and me were each other.  We had stuff but with the way things were going, our parents were going to come between us if we did not do what they wanted.  So I started drifting away from Julie.  I would try to talk to Julie more in private than in public and I was very worried about the way things could go.  Julie’s parents may be thinking of me as a bad influence on their daughter.  Not good for either of us.  Better to wait until we get older and don’t have to deal with the parent child trap anymore.

     So why not join in on a game of strip poker in school while both of our teachers go to the office because of an emergency and leave Ty and Cort in charge.  After all, Ty had the cards (yes, the same Ty that would later hit the fly ball) and Cort even volunteered to help out (yes, the genius Cort).  So anyway, teachers leave, the cards come out, and Ty deals two cards to each person (and Julie sees Ty dealing me from the bottom of the deck).  A two and a four.  Can’t get any lower than that since a two and a three would be a straight.  But I wanted to strip in front of the class and not in some small bathroom in front of Ty and / or Cort.  Yuck.  They try to drag me away but it doesn’t work well so…  Hand two before the teachers come back.  This time again, Ty deals me from the bottom and I show the cards to Julie, who is standing next to me and her best friend, Karen.  Julie switches cards with Karen to get the low hand.  I make a big scene where I’ll go in as well since a girl is going in this time, but Cort holds me back while Julie and Ty go into the bathroom together.  Boy, do people talk and afterwards Julie and Ty are considered a couple.  Lasted only a couple weeks though.  It helped people forget about last year and publicly made it look like Julie and I were not together.  Great.  Our parents would not come between us.

     Also this year was the year of our craft fair and at this fair Julie dressed up as a fortune teller (Julie told me she loved gypsies on our walks) and read palms for the craft fair, in of all places, the bathroom.  With her friend, Karen, in the bathroom as well.  So of course I went in and Julie started reading my palm, “You’re smart.  Your life line is good.  You son of a bitch.  That’s OK, I have a short life line and it’s OK if you find someone else after I’m gone.”  Then her face was beaming when she saw that I had multiple marriage lines off my pinky and that there was one marriage line darkening in on my right hand (left hand given, right hand achieved).  She also noticed that my lifeline was chained for the same distance that her lifeline existed.  Julie was very pissed though because my love line was chained and that meant a lot of women to her, but maybe, just maybe, it meant a lot of love in my heart for someone.

     With the distance because of our parents, Julie was worried that I would find someone else.  So after the strip poker stuff came about, it all worked out in the end.  People, especially Karen, thought we broke up and we could get on with our lives and meet up again after we graduate and get married and have a life together.  Karen could move in too if she hadn’t found someone by then.  Julie and I were used to each other and being with others just wasn’t as much fun.  Still fun, just not as much.  Always too bossy or whatever…  But running the risk of our parents saying we could never see each other again was a fate worse than death.  I was never mad at Julie for whatever happened with Ty and all that.  I also didn’t want to run her life or own her or whatever.  We just had great times together and it was special because we could talk about anything and not worry about what others said or felt.  We were us.  No nonsense between us, but a lot of politics and such going on around us.

     Julie has the shortest time for the shuttle run in gym class.  Me, well, I get in trouble because in homeroom towards the end of the year, they always announce the buses over the PA, public address, system in school.  Yes, me, the smartass, decides to use the hollow leg in the chair next to me to help my voice sound scratchy and hollow like the PA system announcer.  Needless to say school buses came about 3:15 PM.  At 2:55 PM someone spoke into the chair, “Ph, ph, bus 43 may now load, bus 43 may now load, ph, ph”.

     And of course the kids in my class and the class next door start going out into the halls about fifteen minutes early.  My teacher notices the time and also notices that none of the other classes are leaving.  My teacher then notices me giggling and leaning over the chair next to me and goes out and brings the kids back.  So remember, if you do something silly, try to hold back the giggles or you will get caught like I did and have to stay after school.  But that’s alright, Julie had to stay after that day as well so it worked out.

     Grammar school used to be kindergarten through sixth grade, but was changed to kindergarten through fifth grade after this year.  We were the first sixth graders in middle school which was seventh through ninth, but was now going to be sixth through eighth.

     And a lesson I learned at the end of fifth grade was this lesson:  “Winning ain’t everything”.  Sometimes it is better to lose.  Every year there was a Colonial Days Parade.  This year, the USA’s bicentennial, our school was entering a float in the parade and a spelling bee was held to determine who would ride on this float.  The deciding word, awkward.  I even spelled it out loud, twice.  But each time the teacher came around to me, I started, A-Q-, like the rest in the class had done.  Finally, the third time around, A-W-K… and that was that.  I won, but the prize was to dress up in old clothes and ride with other kids on a trailer with hay.  Wow.  No Julie and not much of a hay ride in public.  Anyway, at the parade, I rode on the back of the trailer for a while and my mother kept walking down the sidewalk while almost falling over people a couple of times.  Needless to say, after passing the judge’s bench, I jumped off the float and left the parade early before my mother could hurt herself or someone else.  Yeah, I should have lost the spelling bee.  Stuff happens.

Subchapter IX – Sixth Grade – “Newness Wears Off”

     Onward to sixth grade and middle school.  Most of the kids, but not all, from grammar school go to the same middle school, but Joe goes to the other middle school.  Many of the kids from a nearby grammar school go to this middle school as well.  Many of the same faces but new faces as well.  More kids per class as well.  Julie goes to the same middle school too and I see her from a distance in chorus class.

     Sixth grade and beyond have three tracks, track one being the highest, and track three being the lowest.  I am in track one; Julie is in track three.  But anyway, in chorus I sit next to Griff and during chorus an occasional piece of popcorn sort of ends up coming out of mine or Griff’s hand and landing down the front of one of several girls’ shirts.  Never got caught.  I don’t remember hearing of any complaints either.

     No Joe, but Griff and I were a bit mischievous to say the least.  I still walk to school but Julie usually walks a different way, so we just see each other but don’t talk to one another.  Julie was with her best friend, Karen, who had a big mouth as far as I was concerned and I was always worried about Karen telling Julie’s mom and dad that we were seeing each other.

     Karen was considered weird by the other kids because she would talk to herself in the third person like, “Karen, remember to do your homework.” And such.  She always called herself Karen though, and never called herself Jaws.  Julie would get into trouble and have to stay after school because of either talking to Karen in class or getting into a fight if someone picked on Karen.

     So, yeah, Julie was more comfortable with the “dorks” than the so-called “cool” people.  Myself as well, but unlike Julie, I hung around with both the “cool” and the “dorks”.  So long as someone had something to say and wasn’t hassling others, I would talk to them.

     I was pretty much a loner most of sixth grade but I met lots of new people, or maybe it was that they got to meet me, Mister Smart Ass.  I did very little homework in sixth grade but got A+ on my tests.  But two 95’s on tests and zero on homework equates to a D grade.  A D is not track one material.  So at the beginning of next year I would get moved down to track two and away from the “smart” class.

     My homeroom teacher was my social studies teacher as well and kept trying to encourage me to get better grades so that I would stay in track one.  I was smart, yes, but I hated homework because it was mostly copying out of books.  I am not a copy machine.

     I heard later, though, that what infuriated my teacher most was that a couple other teachers of mine were saying something like, “He’s a savage and you can’t teach a savage.”  Which true, I was and am about three-eighths american indian.  But despite being proven false many times by this “savage”, these two teachers still thought they were smarter than I, Mister Smart Ass, Ace.  My english and science teachers were always bound and determined that they were right, even after being proven wrong.  One of the most well known battles occurred between my science teacher and me.  In class, the teacher explained that the space probe, Voyager, was going to circle around Saturn and send back pictures of the “solid” rings around the planet, Saturn.  I raised my hand in class and the teacher called on me.  So I stated to the class and said to the teacher that the rings around Saturn weren’t solid and were made up of rocks, ice, and debris.  So, the teacher, for probably the tenth time this year, explained to me that everyone knows that the rings around Saturn are solid and that I was a fool and would be proven wrong the next day.

     So the show was taped and shown the next day and of course I was proven right yet again that the world is flat (look at the map).  I just did not belong in a class that memorized stuff without caring if it was true or not.  I realized that I did not belong in track one despite what my homeroom teacher thought.  I was too smart to just memorize stuff.  I was also not one to just do as you are told because if I felt something was wrong, I would not do it or memorize it.  Not much adjustment for myself other than becoming inflexible.  New school.  New attitude.  Stubborn.

Subchapter X – Seventh Grade – “Banished but Not Forgotten”

     Seventh grade, flexible math, flexible social studies, flexible science, inflexible english.  It was not long before my seventh grade english teacher separated me from the rest of the class.  Honestly, my english teacher literally rearranged his classroom and put my desk inside a couple bookcases so that I could not see or be near the other kids in the class.  We were at an impasse.  My teacher wanted the other kids to learn to read and follow directions and my response was, “Well, don’t you think you ought to teach them what the directions mean before you ask them to follow those directions?”  I would explain it to the other kids and got banished to my little nook in the books.  I also developed a secret name, Zilcho, which meant nothing to me.  Zero, zilch, nada, get it?

     At this time I developed a lasting friendship with Mike who was in my english and math classes.  I would give stuff to Mike and Mike would help the others in this english class as best as he could without getting caught.  Mike also introduced me to his friend, Jack.  Mike and I were in track two and Jack and Julie and Brian in track three.  I imagine Jack had met Julie but they weren’t friends or enemies either that I was aware of.

     Also, I never brought up Julie with others and when I was asked, “How did you get the name Ace?” I would answer, “Could you imagine me being called anything else?”  I was still aceing stuff to an extreme.  First done on tests and usually the highest score as well.

     Well, almost the highest.  A girl in my math class, Mary, that was also part “savage” and downgraded from track one to track two was getting higher grades in math than me.  Awesome.  Even worse, the track ones had just barely two weeks of review before the math final and us lowly, slower track twos had just five weeks to review for this test.  Nope, you can’t teach a savage, but if two savages help teach others…

     Time for the math final and our teacher was very nervous about this year.  Every year our teacher made a bet that no one could get a 90 or higher on the final.  Mary got an 86; I got an 81.  The difference between the grades…  A five point ‘bonus’ question that everyone except me got right.  The question, X + 1 = 2 and of course with me being dyslexic I read the question as X = 1 + 2.  I was the only one who put 3 instead of 1.  Oh well.  All hail the new brain, Mary.  Was very nice not being #1 all of the time.  I loved it.

     I also joined boy scouts outside school.  Never got a badge because each time, the events got canceled because no one else, except me, showed up, including the scout master.  I dropped out of scouts in about a month.  I also quit chorus later in the year.  Griff could toss popcorn on his own without my help anyway.

     Later in the year I also got a flat top type haircut instead of the usual regular haircut with a part on the left side.  The haircut lasted about two months.  Also, during the year, an announcement was made that my friend, Joe, from two years ago, had died from a hunting accident.  Only the good die young and being a smart ass is my savior.

     During this year as well I had to go to the dentist for a cleaning and check up.  This was the first time x-rays were done on my teeth.  The verdict:  I had a double nerved upper left bicuspid and I was told by my dentist, “It is a one in a zillion tooth.  Very rare.  One of a kind.”  At this same time scientists had discovered that King Tut may have died from an infected upper tooth that may have swelled into his brain.  My tooth had swollen as well so the dentist did a double root canal and sent the nerves off to a very prestigious university for study.  Could I suffer the same fate as Tut?  That’s what I was thinking to myself anyway.

     Around February, two distinguished gentlemen showed up at the school and showed, of all things, a movie about extreme snowboarding.  The class got out of class to see this movie but afterwards the rest of the class went back to class.  Later, I was escorted, by my english teacher, to the balcony of the auditorium, to meet privately with these two gentlemen and, twist my arm, get out of english class for today.

     They introduced themselves and we shook hands and I said I was Ace or something like that (maybe we didn’t shake hands, memories fade).  They said they were looking to form a new company and were looking for ideas on how to improve the safety of school buses.  I told them that I walked to school but I would try to help anyway.

     One of the two gentlemen then proceeded to tell me that a school bus in Missouri had gone into a river in 1976 and that two different school buses in Colorado had been caught in flash floods in 1977.  They said that all the people were rescued using lines from shore and such but that the rescues were difficult.  They also said that they had talked to a bus driver whom had suggested adding trap doors in the floor like in coach buses.  My response was, “You definitely don’t want to add trap doors in a school bus.  They are rattle traps and sooner or later one would fail and a kid would fall in and get hurt.  Also, kids tend to play with stuff…”  I then continued, “I understand that with high water it would be difficult to open the doors or the emergency windows because the water pressure would push against the windows and doors and make them difficult to open.  And who would want to open a trap door in the floor underwater and let the water in?  Have you thought about adding a roof hatch like in a submarine?”  They said it sounded like a good idea and asked if I had any more ideas.

     At first I said I couldn’t think of any ideas, but then I said, “Hey, I rode a bus before going to my friend’s house and the emergency windows would bounce open.  Might want to put a latch before a kid bounces out some day.”  Then they asked again, “Anything else you can think of?”  And I said something like, “No, not off hand, wait a minute.  I read in the paper recently where they had some multi-car pileups.  With a school bus you have the emergency door in back and the normal doors on the front passenger side.  If a bus gets rear-ended and pushed into the car in front and the bus front fender got pushed into the side doors then both doors might not open…  Have you ever thought about adding a door about in the middle behind the driver’s side just in case?”  We both agreed that was about all I could think of and that I could go back to class now.

     For many years I had forgotten about this meeting back in 1978.  In 2002, however, I decided to get a license so that I could drive school bus.  Then came the school bus safety course in 2004.  In the safety course I was learning about how effective the roof hatches were in case the bus rolled over and how the door behind the driver was effective for moving people out quickly if the bus caught fire.  Dang, I wish I had thought of that.  Well, I did back around February 1978 I believe.  Well, kind of anyway but something seems to have been lost over the years.  Yes, the two gentlemen did start their company.

     Back in 1978 they asked if I would be willing to pitch my ideas to bus companies and my response was something like, “Nah, grown ups never listen to kids, they may listen to you though.”  I am glad they tried and apparently succeeded.  At least I feel now that someone thought that a kid should be heard even if they are grown ups with childish ideas so to speak.  In 1978 I got to get out of english class for this but what more do you want?  Bleeding world peace?  I’m a kid and not a baby so go find someone else into pacifiers and such.  Now if I could just get through to my english teacher that introduced me to these gentlemen.  But alas…  Not to be.

     And now another not listening story, this time my mother again.  Three kids, Brian, his big brother Tim, and Ronny were trying to start a fight with me after school one day.  They would come up from behind, push me down, then start punching me from behind.  The third time this happened, I had had enough.  I reached out, grabbed Ronny, and threw Ronny up a 60 degree incline.  With one toss, Ronny sailed about 50 feet straight uphill before landing on his feet.  My younger cousin, Carla, had seen this and went to my parents’ house and told my mother.  Of course my mother and cousin show up just after this and Ronny, Brian, and Tim didn’t dare move.  Not because my mother and cousin were there but because Ronny had just been tossed up a hill with little effort by myself and next I was gonna “clean house” and they knew it.  My mother yelled out, “Get in the car.”  And I yelled back, “I got this handled.  Get yer ass back home and I’ll be there shortly.  This won’t take long.”

     Ronny, Brian, and Tim just stood there and I just walked passed them to the car.  I got in, then of course the taste of a bar of soap again in my mouth when I got home.  Oh well, I got left alone again.  Ronny was a little shorter than me but about the same weight and I just tossed Ronny like a piece of paper.  No effort on my part at all.  Because of Julie, I don’t want to fight anymore, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to put up with three people thinking they can just beat on me.  Mind you, didn’t hurt me a bit.  It just annoyed the hell out of me was all.  I didn’t want to fight, “Leave me alone.”  “OK, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE YOU ALL GET YOUR ASSES KICKED BY ACE AND BUBBY”.  True, three on one is not fair.  They need a hell of a lot more than three that’s for sure.  To note, Brian was hit in the head by a rifle butt at a parade and had some problems as well as a scar.  I am very glad I never hit Brian, and very glad I threw Ronny instead.

     My last year of 60 foot baseball.  Next year, 90 feet.  I did not throw my fastball again and I definitely did not like the coach for the last two years.  I would rather be coached by a drunk and play on a team of non-athletic geeks.  My teammates are all right but the coach keeps saying I can’t pitch while in the same breath telling me not to throw so hard in practice.  And honestly, I wasn’t throwing hard in practice.  Ask Kenny.  I still play street football and 1-2-3 Bob-A-Ree as well.  What a year and weren’t IQ tests done in seventh grade?  Yes, but it ties in with something else that happens in eighth grade…

Subchapter XI – Eighth Grade – “Leave It To Me”

     Enter eighth grade.  Well, actually, eighth grade is my last year in middle school before high school, so exit eighth grade as well.  I learn a valuable lesson this year as well.  It is not good to pick on a teacher’s prized cactus because eventually the cactus will die.  And a nice teacher, who tried to encourage me and did nothing wrong, had her cactus tortured and killed off.  A cactus needs needles to absorb water and for protection, but you can poke people with cactus needles.  Kill a cactus.  Poke a friend.  The cactus died; my teacher was heartbroken.  I didn’t care.

     After being separated from Julie for a couple years, I just don’t care about anyone or anything and it shows.  My grades are horrible and I play paper football during lunch with the sixth and seventh graders as well as “Insult Wars” and such.  Also, I had always worn formal type clothes to school and now I was wearing jeans, T-shirts, and sneakers to school.  I was bored.  I wanted to learn about quantum physics and such but was instead feeling like I was just being babysat.

     Eighth grade was stagnant for me.  We had electives this year and I chose french at one time.  Something different, pardon moi, but not that different.  No one spoke another language in the family but my mother said she had taken Latin in high school.  Oh well, c’est la vie.  Je ne parle pas en francaise.

     Towards the middle of the year I saw Chris from fifth grade again.  We had some fun even though Joe was dead now.  We walked down the hall to lunch and I turned to Chris and said, “What do you say to someone when you want them to shutup?”  And Chris said, “Shhh” and of course when Chris said that I said “it”.  So we walked to the lunchroom with Chris saying, “Shhh” and me saying, “it” together.  Well, up until the vice principal came down the hall.  I imagine getting into trouble for saying, “it”.  The vice principal just asked us to stop and would have had a hard time with the detention paperwork saying, “Ace got detention for saying it”.  Oh well.  Railroad crossing, look out for cars, can you spell it without any R’s?  OK…  “A-I-L-O-A-D-C-O-S-S-I-N-G-L-O-O-K-O-U-T-F-O-C-A-S-C-A-N-Y-O-U-S-P-E-L-L-I-T-W-I-T-H-O-U-T-A-N-Y-S.”  Oh wait, you want the short answer, right?  “I-T”.  How’s that?

     I did get to meet a famous brainiac’s roommate towards the end of the year.  Near the end of the year, a test was given out to see if someone could figure out a calculus problem without knowing the rule from calculus.  There were some that had solved the problem, but they had been ones who had been taught or seen how to solve this problem.  I was never taught the rule and my teacher knew this.  But to solve the problem required knowing the power chain rule from calculus, which some had learned or been taught previously, but I hadn’t.  My math teacher told me explicitly to show all my work on this test and to take as long as I needed, even into my next classes.  Me, Ace, take longer than five minutes on a test.

     Also, throughout the year in math class, we were doing work requiring a calculator.  I did not have a calculator and I had learned on my own to take some shortcuts to solve problems.  I was doing a lot of complex multiplying and dividing in my head and just putting partial work on my tests as notes.  Well, anyway, I took this test and I factored the problem the wrong way.  The problem was a perfect cube and I had broken it down into a square instead of a cube.  But wait, it took someone supposedly 20 years to learn how to factor a problem like this at all and I had figured out this rule in 6 months…  Yeah, wow.  Praise me some more.  Who am I to argue with how “great” I am?

     But yeah, I got to meet the roommate of the guy that figured the power chain rule and calculus as well as “The Universal Theory” not the “Theory of Relativity”.  So for math class I got to hear stories and it was odd but the roommate seemed to be more interested in meeting me.  Very odd.  But Albert’s roommate was telling me stories about his famous genius roommate, Albert, who would have his glasses already on, yet run around frantic searching for his glasses that were already on his face.  Albert’s roommate said he would just take Albert’s glasses off then put them back on Albert’s face again.  Then Albert would say, “Oh, there they are.  Thanks Nick.”  Then Albert would get back to work again.  Been quite a while, but I believe his first name was Nicholas (Sir Nicholas actually, but Albert, myself and his immediate family were allowed to call him “Nick” in private.  In public it was always to be Sir Nicholas.  And actually Sir Nicholas told me that he was picked on because he had won an award for approximating pi using a million-sided polygon but others had thought Nick’s famous roommate had done the work and Nick took credit for it.  Truth was that Nick had thought about and did this problem on his own with only encouragement from Albert.  Some people.), and I know I picked on Nick about his last name which he seemed to take in stride.  So Albert’s roommate was the founder of [blank]dom, and started The [Blank]ing Wars but odd, he didn’t seem so [blank]ing really.  Stuff happens I guess.  You can’t change what others think or believe no matter how hard you try.  I know the feeling “Ace”.

     But anyway, Albert’s roommate also mentioned that Albert referred to his work as “The Universal Theory” and never as “The Theory of Relativity”.  And we also talked about how Albert combined other people’s ideas and theories into his theory and Albert did not see his theory as being anything more than linking a series of math problems.  We also talked about the space continuum and Albert’s roommate said that Albert did not believe in his own theory but Albert used to get a laugh out of some people that took his theory so seriously.  But not mentioned between us but the prevailing thought was that if you go faster than the speed of light that time reverses itself.  But what about ultra violet and alpha, beta, or gamma particles which travel faster than the speed of light?  How could such a thing exist and be measured?  Precisely, but no one ever seemed to catch on (outside myself, Nick and Albert).  But Albert's theory pertained to the speed of light squared, not just the speed of light, so who's to know?

     Albert’s roommate also reflected about Albert’s fascination with studying the properties of light.  You can see light.  Feel warmth from light.  But just try to catch some light in your hand.  Reflecting.  Refracting.  Redirecting.  Pretty cool talk, huh.

     But then the conversation started turning and he said something like, “You’re not like my roommate.”  And I said something like, “Yeah, you got that right.”  He said his roommate was very conscientious about his work and when he found out that his work was being used to make weapons, it mentally devastated Albert and Albert became reclusive and withdrawn.  I said something like, “Blowing up people, cool, decrease the surplus population.”  And he said something like, “That’s what I mean, you have a dark side to you that Albert never had.  Albert cared a lot about people and you don’t.”

     Then Nick started saying some stuff to me that made sense.  And then Nick went from talking about Albert to talking about me and some things that Nick had read about me.  These things were written in a book by someone, who had become a recluse himself after some scientists had pulled out his fingernails while he was in a trance.  And when he was brought out of the trance…  Ouch!  But this person, who wrote this book, had done some amazing things.  He had helped people get better simply by telling them what was wrong over the phone, and giving directions where to find the medicine in a house he had never visited many miles away.

     The roommate also talked about how he, himself, was kind of fascinated with prophecies and had met many people over the years because of his famous roommate.  But his famous roommate believed in whatever happens, happens, blind fate.  The roommate was fascinated because what he had read about me were some prophecies and it was the only prophecies he had read that might have two paths.  He noted the one path as peace and prosperity while the other path led to darkness and despair.  And all this little eighth grader’s fault no doubt.  But, anyway, because the prophecy dealt with a certain specific personal characteristic that no one else has, I must be the one that these prophecies are about and portend towards.

     He also said I may do wonderful things in about 20, no wait, 30 years and develop a new type of mathematics and many other things.  He also said something like, “You’ll be the youngest, oops, wait, not that, that was Mark, but you’ll be the first to win the prize in two categories, maybe three.  Scratch the third.  You get nominated for it but never rule a country.  You’ll possibly start a new world order.  Or possibly not.  The prophecy goes two ways.  If you do the book, but if not, then the dark side and mankind will suffer for a thousand years or more.  I think you’ll do the right thing when the time comes but who knows.  Hopefully you’re still around.”

     But he also said that it would be a book that would even outsell the Holy Bible and net me an unheard of (back in 1979 anyway) ten cents a copy for each book sold in many different languages and many different countries.  He also said that two companies reject it before the third accepts.  He also added that the original handwritten manuscripts end up in a museum but never get displayed and possibly burn up in a fire, but can’t remember for sure on that.  He also said that he doesn’t want to interfere with fate too much so he tried to avoid being too specific about certain things he had read in this book of prophecy.  He also said that if he told me what happens to me after I write the book that I probably would not write the book.

     I guess it is not King Tut’s tooth after all.  Me, rich, famous, well known from out of nowhere after 30 years?  Blech.  I like my privacy too much and I’m not much of a “people person”, so…  “Nice to meet you”, I said and he said something like, “No, no, the pleasure’s been all mine.  I got to meet you.”  Then I went back to class.  Very nice person but really weird that someone would travel to meet me because of a math test extra credit question.  Oh well.  I like weird stuff and I got to get out of class for a while too.  I know; I’m famous.  I mean my name is Ace and people try to compare others with me all of the time, but who else can “ace” a test like Ace, himself.  Julie is so cool for finding that nickname for me.  It fits so well.

     Nick also sidetracked a little saying that my surroundings (where I lived and how I lived) were very basic.  Then Nick kinda debated with himself for a short bit in front of me.  It went like this, "I had thought about adopting you but I got thinking about the prophesies and how you're supposed to come out of nowhere in about thirty years or so.  You have so much potential and it seems like a waste to have someone with your talent in such meager surroundings.  I don't have an heir.  But with my title and such, I could introduce you to a world that is so much more.  But according to the prophesies it is meant to be this way, so I decided against adoption.  What is to be is to be.  I shouldn't tempt fate because who knows for sure.  It is what it is."

      And then Nick mentioned that he felt a little awkward because when his famous roommate passed away that Nick was not appointed as Albert's replacement for the "world's smartest".  Nick didn't feel bad about it because there were many other people he could think of that were as smart or maybe even smarter than him, but to have Stephen win the title was a bit hard to swallow for anyone (overbearing, pompous, windbag that he is).  Then Nick told me that Albert had given Nick an unofficial title of "World's Smarter" and that Albert figured Nick would not get the "World's Smartest" title.  Albert always felt that no matter how smart you think you are, you can always figure out a way to be smarter.  Learning is an ever evolving process.  And before leaving, Nick wished to share the unofficial title of World's Smarter with me.  And Nick said, "It means nothing really, but I'd like to share the World's Smarter title with you."  Don't know if Nick shared the title with others or told the World's Smarter story to others but stuff happens.  Then Nick left.  A little while later I got a visit from a man who introduced himself as "Hello Dolly" right from the get-go.  Dalai/Dolly, close enough.  He obviously heard about my sense of humor from Nick, the founder of [blank]dom.  Dalai asked if Nick seemed bitter about not being Albert's replacement.  I said "not really, just kinda wondering why Stephen?" or something like that I think.  Then Dalai told me that when people were deciding who Albert's replacement was that Nick's name was brought up many times, but with all the people available to choose from, there couldn't be a consensus that was needed to name a replacement.  In order to get the title Albert and Albert's predecessor, Charles, had it was agreed upon that whoever would be next would have to have a majority of the people in agreement.  That could not be achieved with Nick or any other of the scholars at the time.  Dalai told me that the only way they could get consensus on someone was when they asked the question, "Who would be the least likely to achieve anything noteworthy if elected the world's smartest?"  Albert had won popular support and was a shoe-in back in his day after the debates with Niles that had occured.  After Albert passed, none were really that much above the others including Sir Nicholas.  But with the question of "who would most likely not to achieve anything significant" it was a consensus in favor of Stephen.  So Stephen became the world's smartest.  That was that.  Nice to know I guess, because Sir Nicholas was overqualified with the million-sided polygon idea which is still used today to some extent.  Things happen.  Maybe not the way you like, but things happen nonetheless.  I don't think Dalai ever told Nick, but never saw either Dalai or Nick again afterwards, so no way of knowing.

     Also, forgot, I took the IQ test in seventh grade english class.  The test got thrown out and they go to multiple choice tests afterwards instead of fill in the blank.  The directions were faulty and I really made it apparent that I didn’t like the test.  I don’t think that the ones that designed that IQ test considered themselves “assholes”, but Albert’s roommate kind of discussed what happened afterwards with me, but this talk was about a year after taking the IQ test and went something like:

     The test was thrown out and the one who wanted “fill in the blank” instead of “multiple choice” took offense to being called an “asshole”.  Note, also, the roommate NEVER said the word asshole to me, but I understood what he meant and just filled in the blank of “the guy took offense of what you wrote about him” or something like that.  So others on the committee for the IQ test that didn’t like this “cocky, pompous, overbearing windbag” agreed that only an asshole could have designed such a faulted test and the name apparently stuck.  The format got changed and the committee in charge of the test got to chortle someone they weren’t too fond of anyway.  Such is life.  “Answers on the following page” indeed.  Should have been labeled “the following page” with a heading of “the following page” like I had wrote in…  I missed five (119) but I couldn’t resist.  A tree (not werewolf) barks at the moon…  A red (not tandem) bicycle…  It was obvious that I had pulled the answers out of nowhere for the entire test, but I only missed five (and I used to know all five because I was really being silly to use such answers, but they evade me now…).

     I took a multiple choice type test years later.  I finished in under three minutes (I told people three minutes and thirty-eight seconds, but it was quicker than that actually) but I missed one question.  I then burned the test in an ashtray in front of the person that asked me to do this and I said something like, “Never again.  I don’t want to know and I definitely don’t want to belong to an elitist group of mental snobs.”  That’s that.  No more.

     And thanks to my second grade teacher for giving me such an immense vocabulary from copying out of the dictionary so much.  Also, thanks to Me, Myself, and I as well I guess, even though I’m not Me and you’re not You.  And not Grant, but no one was buried in Grant’s Tomb.  You figure it out because in fifth grade I crossed out my “No one” answer to that question because I just didn’t want to get into that kind of discussion like back in second grade.  Above ground, below ground, who cares?  The tomb is probably empty since Grant opted to be buried elsewhere.  So all those millions of dollars wasted on an unused tomb.  So I don’t think Grant was buried in Grant’s “above ground” tomb.

     The year ends with kids getting a new type of polio vaccine in a sugar cube form instead of a shot.  Shortly after taking this vaccine, and on a Saturday – no school, I went to get out of bed and realized that I couldn’t move from my waist down.  My top half moved but my bottom half didn’t.  Very awkward.  I stayed in bed all day.  I couldn’t get out of bed.  At about 5 PM that night I finally reached over to the dresser beside the bed and I lift myself while still holding onto the dresser.  I work my way along the dresser and finally reach my door.  At about 8 PM I can kind of stand on my own again but I wobble and am very weak.  I go back to bed.  The next morning, Sunday, I wake up and am fine like nothing had ever happened.  I didn’t really equate it with the vaccine until next week.

     Also, during this year I had a very strange dream.  It was the only time I had had a “falling down” type dream and I was falling from the sky towards the ground.  Unlike others I had heard about, I hit bottom and bounced off the ground.  In my dream I thought, “This is cool.  Let’s do it again.”  And I replayed hitting the ground about three times in this dream.  Then in my dream I thought, “Uh oh, I think my heart stopped.  I’d better wake myself up.”  So I woke myself up and I heard a terrible ringing in my ears.  Not like a telephone ringing, but a constant hum like when taking a hearing test.  I then pushed in below my chest to self administer CPR just in case.  Very weird.  But yes, I had a falling down dream and hit bottom, but no, I didn’t die.  Sorry.  Maybe next time.

     Also, bad coach in baseball before, but horrible coach now.  We have the most solid team of ‘jocks’ and the worst record.  I sit the bench so not my fault.  Ninth grade coming and onward to high school.  And a final note, Julie’s family moves away after eighth grade.  I miss her so much, but great things and people are worth waiting for.

Subchapter XII – High School – “Introduction to Buzz”

     High school, well, maybe buzz school is a better word for it.  Yeah, I started getting into drinking and drugs.  Actually, most of my classmates weren’t into it that much.  I was with mainly the upperclassmen and later the lowerclassmen, not the kids that are my age and in my class.  My high school class was largely dominated by a bunch of eggheads / brainiacs.  New faces and old faces but by my senior year I had met all but 12 out of a class of 268.  I was loud and boisterous and now wearing unbuttoned polo shirts and occasionally T-shirts too.

      Four years of the same homeroom but we were no ordinary homeroom.  When kids came up missing from the other homerooms, they would call over to see if we had adopted them into our homeroom.  Our homeroom consisted of last names from D to F, but also Dave A, Jeff K, Anne M, Bruce P, and others at different times.  They didn’t hate their old homeroom at all, they just liked ours more.  So they got adopted.  We had long science tables and separated chairs.  It was more “homey” than a chair with a desktop attached.

     A few of us also played a version of miniature golf in homeroom on these tables.  We would take our pens and knock small balls into small holes in the tables.  We all had a blast.  Well, we tried to anyway.  Our teacher was OK with this so long as we kept things picked up and didn’t lose stuff or fight.  Teeny tiny white balls, medium sized green balls, large orange balls and a couple previously made holes in the tables.  Just grab a pen and…  instant golf classic.  Let the tournament begin…  Dave F was usually shy but…  Vince had fun, Scott joined in and his adopted friend, Dave A as well.  We were the regulars but others joined in from time to time.  Myself, of course, as a regular as well.  Great time waster and no one got hurt.  Beats penny basketball, paper football, and it was tough trying to play hockey like that, but Dave F and I tried a couple times anyway.  Plus, this was a city that professional golfers came to once a year.

     Homeroom was a great time for all four years.  A mess for our homeroom teacher, who would get calls from the other teachers and have to gather extra attendance cards, but fun for us “adopters”.  Homeroom 403 was the place to be.  Hey, that even rhymes.  “Bring an extra pair of pants because you will probably get a hole in one.”

     High school was set up with eight periods and now we had “credit hours” for the classes we took.  The grade was based on a numbering system up to 100 points and an effort rating of excellent, very good, satisfactory, and unsatisfactory.  To get a local diploma one needed 17 credit hours.  To get a state approved Regents diploma required Regents classes as well as 19 credit hours.  A Regents with Honors was Regents classes with an average on the final exams at 90 or higher.  If you passed you received a credit hour or for half year courses, a half credit hour.  You could choose some extra classes but some classes were required before graduation.

Subchapter XIII – Ninth Grade – “New School, but Nothing Really New to Add”

     So begins ninth grade in high school.  I had played baseball and was on the team that had a lot of the athletes at this high school, so I knew quite a few of the upperclassmen.  From the start, our class was looked at as the rowdiest class ever but in a good way.  We were full of energy and ideas and it showed.  Required classes were English, Algebra (Math), Asian / African Studies, Earth Science, Gym, Lunch, and Study Hall.

     For my extra class I took French II this year.  They wouldn’t let me take an extra class instead of Study Hall or Lunch.  Oh well.  Fairly good grades this year.  Adjustments not too difficult and I was looking for a change anyway.  Outside school, in the summer, I worked at the ballpark and usually kept the scorebook and announced.  “Now batting [so and so], [such and such] on deck.”  This was better than umpiring or taking care of the field.  Ninth grade was very lackluster and Julie had moved away.  I walked to school about a mile or so.  Well, about a mile and a half.  In February of this school year, we moved about a mile further away from high school.  During the spring and summer I would sometimes ride my bicycle, but most of the time I walked to school.

Subchapter XIV – Tenth Grade – “Back to Basics”

     Tenth grade starts and at the start of the year I ride the school bus to the other high school.  I spent four weeks at the other high school then transferred back to homeroom 403.  I got to see how the other half lived and met a new friend, Glenn.  This year for classes I had English, Geometry (Math), Health (half year), Typing (half year), French III, European Studies, Study Hall, Lunch, and Gym.

     The last day before switching schools was a very interesting day for me.  I was getting nearly all A’s in my classes, but the books were older and the classes not as challenging as back at the homeroom 403 school.  But on the last day a larger upperclassman tried butting in front of me to go up the stairs.  So I reached over and grabbed him and slammed him up against the wall and said, “Don’t ever do that again.”  Then I walked away up the steps.

    At the end of my last day at the other school I stayed and got my grades then said goodbye to the teachers.  I was very out of place being a super genius amongst the land of the farmers.  The classes were just way too easy for me and geared more for slower students.  At the very end of the last day, I was cleaning out my locker and received a tap on my shoulder.  I thought it was the kid I had slammed against the wall earlier, so I turned with my fist high and ready.  Lo and behold (surprise, surprise), it was Julie and Karen.  I didn’t swing or say a word, but I did look around to see if anyone else was around.  Nope.  But then Karen said, “Let’s go” and both Julie and Karen walked away and I finished cleaning out my locker and prepared for a seven mile walk home from school because I had missed the bus being held over by my teachers.  No words between us, and Julie was back for a short while and went to the other high school.  No talking yet again and I was going back to homeroom 403 again.

     And for four weeks Griff and I were reunited in Typing class with a class full of girls.  No popcorn this time however.  Health class, sex Ed, whatever you want to call it.  I’m not a virgin, so anything you wanna know?  Anyway, it was just too easy to make jokes in a class like this.  I was a prevert, not a pervert because I knew, first hand, about the “ins and outs” of sex…  See, told you it was too easy.  The big bad wolf and little bo peeper and on and on…  “There was a duck, giraffe and a broom in the bathtub, how they ever ended up in that position together…”  Yes, nothing was beyond me.  So much for Sex Ed.

     Also, this year I turn 16 and get my permit to drive a car.  New York State will give a license to anyone and now I have proof.  If you don’t like my driving then you should stay off the sidewalk.  I also got a new nickname, Elmer Stickshift or Elm for short.  I was now “Elm Bub Ace” will all three of ya get over here?  Inside school just plain Ace still.  A great driver needs a great name and well, Elmer Stickshift worked.  Gary, my sister’s friend’s Kelly’s dad, was the one that came up with this magnificent name for me.  Beats Captain John Pocahontas Smith and Zilcho and several others that I had thought of, including Confusion, a new twist on Confucius.  “He who hesitates must pause.”  As Confusion would say.  Or “man must be wise like potato chip.”  Among many many sayings.  Confusion was a dummy name and always being punny while stating the obvious.  Hey, Confusion is a lot like me, don’t you think?  As Confusion would say, “Where Confusion goes, I follow.”

     Also, this year I had to get working papers to work in a furniture store where my aunt worked.  The job lasted about 3 months.  I was goofing off way too much and I was surprised I lasted as long as I did.  But yeah, my first paycheck type job was working in a furniture store, moving furniture around and helping load up the truck.  At the time, I was a student so no taxes taken out.  Way cool.  Money to set aside for a car.

     I took a driver’s education course for summer school.  I got my driver’s permit this year and my license the next year.  I got a car over the summer but was never able to get it fixed up enough to get it on the road.  My “first car” only ever just sat in the driveway.

     This year, a guy who was on my baseball team, Tom, had a friend of his named Ron that had at least the same eye and hair color that I had.  So Ron was 18 and I used Ron’s ID to buy beer at a store with Tom.  The ID was not fake, but I wasn’t Ron even though I used his ID to buy my first six pack of beer.  At the time, most did not care how old someone was so long as they had cash.  That’s life.  I did not get proofed very often and was able to buy stuff without even showing an ID after a short while.  I seldom got asked for ID when I was underaged but I got asked nearly all of the time when I was of age.  Just the way things went at the time.  Tom was underaged as well but Tom looked to be 28 at age 15.  Pretty cool.

     Caffeine pills were getting widespread as well.  Why not take a few caffeine pills then down a six pack of beer?  I wasn’t much different drunk than sober.  I was always joking around anyway.  Oddly though, I would get more quiet and act more “normal” when drinking but I would still get rowdy as well.  Not fist fight type rowdy but more “party on dudes and dudettes” type rowdy.  Without Julie around, I didn’t care anyway.  But I cared even less when drunk.  Cool.  I also had smoked a few cigarettes but I was not a smoker.  Julie would definitely not approve if she knew, but she was not around.  That was not the reason why but the reason for why not.  Something different to do and try.  What the heck.

     At the beginning of the year, before getting my permit, I was riding in Gary’s truck with Gary and my sister.  There was a little traffic because it was just after the time people were getting out of work.  It was at a local car wash and a car had pulled into the local “feed the quarters and wash your own vehicle” type car wash.  The one car pulled into one of the bays and the other car pulled in just behind the car.  (And contrary to what others said, the cars did NOT make contact and were at least a foot or two apart.  The one pulling in behind DID NOT ram the backend of the other car at all at the car wash).  From the car behind, one guy got out on the driver’s side and the other guy got out on the passenger side.  The guy on the passenger side stood there with his arms extended fully outward and yelled “freeze” and stood there flat-footed just like a cop even though not dressed in official cop clothes.  The other guy, the driver, seemed to be behind his door that was opened pointing something through the opened window.

     Next, shots came through the back window from the car inside the wash bay.  There are two guys in the car in the wash bay as well.  No movie type theatrics or special effects.  Just a couple shots fired through the back window and the driver slumped over while the one on the passenger side was rolling around on the hood of the second car, holding his head and rolling back and forth across the hood of the car.

     Next comes a cop car with lights on the top flashing.  The cop car drives around the other side of the car wash in front of the bay and yells out something like, “Don’t move, those were cops you shot”.  And a voice comes out, “Those weren’t cops.”  Then the cop car comes around to the other side and the police chief reaches into the car behind the bay and switches on a mini red undercover cop strobe light that was mounted in the dash on the car.  Next came something like, “Oh shit” from one of the guys in the car in the wash bay.  Then the police chief starts yelling at the guys in the wash bay and the two in the wash bay get handcuffed and put into the back of a police car.

     Traffic stopped in the street and next the police chief starts talking to the people in the cars.  We were about the fourth or fifth car back (well pickup truck really) and the police chief came alongside the truck and said, “You didn’t see nothing did you?”  And we all shook our heads no and the police chief instructed us to leave.

     A very odd turn of events especially considering that the ones doing the shooting and now arrested are in-laws of the police chief.  This information is kept out of the papers but was explained to me because one of the next door neighbor’s kid’s wives, Linda, was related to the shooters and an in-law of the police chief as well.  There goes the neighborhood.  The police chief is an in-law of an undercover cop killer.  The truth is the truth, but never made public to my knowledge.  This pretty much makes a big story for quite a while but only the cop killer part, not the in-law part.  This pretty much devastated the police chief privately.  As far as myself, I got to see a real life shootout.  Wasn’t planned, just happened to get caught in traffic at a certain place in time.  That’s the way life is.  You may be here; you may be there; you may or may not.  Who knows?  Who cares?  Who doesn’t care?  Does it matter?  Answer me!

     School year ends and during the summer I take Driver’s Education in summer school.  Nope, wait, I take Driver’s Education during the second half of the year, not in summer school.  Yes, I am getting older now and many memories are fading away, but still there, only the times get changed to protect the incident.  After typing the first half of the year came Driver’s Education in the second half I believe.  And imagine this, I was taught by a woman driver.  Well, there were a lot of women driver jokes around at the time.  You could see them driving down the sidewalk because they didn’t want someone getting that dress before them at the yard sale down the street.  It wasn’t my fault that the teacher got both pizza and bananas at the same time at the store.  Just sounded like an odd combination but despite prodding by myself, the teacher never mixed them together.  Wait, a woman and bananas?  Get your mind out of the gutter you pervert.  No, I didn’t go that far but did you or was it just a cucumber fetish?  Yeah, I know, Driver’s Ed definitely came after Sex Ed.  But do the seats recline?  That is the important question and the answer is no.  There were four of us in the car for class;  Brett, who had a Cuda;  Sue, who was working to get a car; Harry / Timmy, who was along for the ride;  and of course, Elmer Stickshift.

     Driving is serious business, but who can resist a little old lady with a walker crossing the street while playing Race-O-Rama 5000?  Don’t ask me how the teacher put up with my sense of humor, but she survived my sidewalk driving.  I passed the class.

     I also worked at the ballpark again over the summer but this was the first year without baseball and with moving to a different area, the last year of street football.  Real life shootouts or gory movies about car crashes and such.  Life is definitely different.

     A note as well, my voice never really changes or cracks or any of that.  Slightly deeper, but about the same really.  I also revise the Pledge of Allegiance that we say in class at the beginning of school each day.  Went like this:  I flee from allegiance, to the fags, of the United S_____ of America, and to the pub clubs, from which I staggered, one nation, under smog, invisible, without liberty, but with injustice for all.  Awoman brother.  So ends another year.  Good, bad, or indifferent, it ends.  But more important, did the rhino really do that with the chihuahua and a bunch of grapes?  And honestly, these stories of mine started because of a game where you would say something like, “_______ did it with a ______ in the _______ to __________.”  You figure it out.  I already did a few times.

     I ended up being a jerk to a nice girl, Michele, who moved away at the end of the year.  Sorry Michele, we came from different worlds, but she was dang cute with that accent and braces.  You deserve better anyway and hope you found it.  I behaved badly but Michele didn’t seem to mind it too much.  Sorry Michele had to deal with that stuff at the end of tenth grade.  I hope things turned out well in Michele’s life.  I went downhill.  Michele went away.  Cool.  Stuff happens.  But Michele came from the hills and I was too used to rough ‘n’ rowdy.  Not a good mix.  Maybe it could have been, but not to be.  Julie was the one and actually Michele helped me to see that unknowingly.  I was definitely getting worst.  My attitude was getting worst because I was dealing with politics and nonsense more than the truth this year.

Subchapter XV – Eleventh Grade – “Why So Secretive?  What are You Hiding?”

     Enter eleventh grade and my attitude was terrible this year.  My classes were English, Trigonometry (Math), Chemistry, American Studies, Computers (half year), Bookkeeping and Accounting I, Business Math (half year), Lunch, Gym, and Study Hall.  In tenth grade European Studies, I would put tacks on people’s chairs.  I was much worse this year.  We had a lunch period.  Someone named Tom M said that if you drank a six pack in 15 minutes you would die.  Ten minutes is definitely less than 15 minutes, so not true Tom.  Don’t think because thinking will get you into trouble.  But Trouble is my middle name so think about it.

     Six pack lunch was my specialty this year and guess what, I got my driver’s license as well and I had a car too.  The car was born the same year as me, and being such, no seatbelts.  I had Mark riding with me to school and back from school and gas money too.  Mark and David were my chemistry class lab partners and Mark was also in my math class as well.  But near the middle of the year in chemistry class, we had an experiment using, of all things, ethyl alcohol.  It was an experiment for deriving esthers.  Esthers are commonly referred to as “artificial flavors” and such.  My lab partner, Mark, managed to get an extra helping of ethyl alcohol, so I took a sip first and I didn’t go blind from “moonshine”, and then I dumped the rest into a larger beaker and diluted it with water.  Within about a week, the chemistry room smelled like a brewery.  I drank it up after about a week of waiting.  No real taste to it.  Somehow I started getting the nickname, “Alcy Ace” in school.

     The class I had directly after lunch was Trigonometry.  I failed this class this year and retook it in summer school.  I understood the progression of the lessons in math, but I had to reprove all the stuff in my head.  I understood the principles of 2cosθ and cos2θ, but it took a bit to settle in.  The teacher was fine, but some of the stuff was not making sense.  It made sense by summer school though, when I retook the class and got an 85 instead of a 59.  My lowest grade ever, a 34, came in this class.  My problem was that I was applying the math to real problems and getting things twisted around as a result.  With the drinking and csc/cos dyslexia mounting, I did horrible in math.  Pi are round, not squared.  Trigonometry was the last stepping stone to calculus.  I tripped over this stone.

     Computers were also coming into use at this time but still not very widespread yet.  Our school offers a class in computers so I took the class.  The computers were very primitive but it was excellent for me when learning about coding and programming.  I was not as interested in the history and the term “bugs” in a computer program stemming from moths that messed up a computer program long ago.  I love to solve problems, and coding requires straight forward thinking and logic.  Cool+.  Very basic systems, so not able to do anything very elaborate.  Was a great class for me.

     My most hated class was my last class of the day, English, which I subtitled “FOBO 109”.  The teacher graded on what you would call a Bell Curve where only so many A’s, B’s, C’s, and such instead of the grade you got.  So if three people got 100’s, you got a 93, and someone got an 85, the 93 would otherwise be an A but was a B (or more likely a C or D in my case) under this system of his.  I was still passing this class despite this “system” of his.  Also, Mary, the same Mary from seventh grade, was in this class as well.  You could see the look of anger in the teacher’s eyes whenever Mary and me got the two highest grades in the class.  A lot of anger in the teacher this year for sure.  Despite this system of his where mine and Mary’s highest grade got dropped and the lowest grade counted for one quarter of the grade, I believe we both passed the class (at least I hope Mary passed as well but not totally sure).

     [Sarcasm] It was really nice to have another student, Dave, sitting next to me and punching me in the left arm every day [end sarcasm].  Didn’t hurt, was just annoying trying to write with an overgrown wimp punching you in the arm.  But I managed despite the nonsense.

     I did do a light jab back once though and nearly knocked Dave out of his chair.  I got sent to the principal’s office for that one as expected.  This is what has always turned me away from the phrase “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” and instead should be changed to “do not do something to someone that you would not like done to you, regardless of what the other person does.”  Much more realistic my way than the other way because it bypasses the “then do it back to me if you can” rebuttal attempt.  I know better.  Adversity doesn’t build character, but instead shows if someone has a lack of character present.

     Cool game I learned in english class this year, upset the teacher by getting the best grades and win a prize.  The prize, what best grades?  But yes, I passed the class despite this elaborate system of his.  Was not easy to do, but I passed not to spite the teacher, but because I’m a savage and better than him.  It is in my blood, not his.  During the year, the teacher had a bad smell of alcohol on his breath.  Towards the end of the year, the teacher’s eyes were so bloodshot from over drinking.  Nice to know you can be a bad influence on a bad person and I was B-A-D bad.  The teacher failed, and it showed, because both Mary and I passed.

     During this year I also worked on making “secret codes” where you would use different symbols for the letters than the letters themselves, like ¿ for c or – for y and such.  It started catching on a little and blackboards started having really weird stuff being written on them that “outsiders” couldn’t understand.  I had about thirty “secret code” pages by the end of the year.  These “odd writings” showed up in study hall.  Yes, I was very bored.

     What about accounting?  How did that turn out this year?  Well, it went great actually.  Well, kind of anyway.  The first four marking periods had all 100’s on my report cards because the computer system would not allow 108, 106, 104, and 102 respectively.  Ever get a 96 grade with an unsatisfactory effort?  Then you’ve never aced anything before I gather.  I did do an extra credit that would have given me a 101 instead of a 96, but I never turned it in.  But yeah, truthfully, I knew that my effort was unsatisfactory, but I didn’t know the grading computer accepted “unsatisfactory” as an effort for a 96 grade until this.  Awesome.

     Bookkeeping and Accounting was a lot of repetition and I was surprised that I actually did the work for this class.  I had done scorekeeping for baseball during the summer, so I just kind of transposed the two together.  It worked.  I liked the class and I did well in the class.  Imagine, The Ace Man, a CPA…  Definitely would take a wild imagination, and me be wild?  Oh yeah.

     Something else wild as well, because of Driver’s Education in school, I got my night license after passing the road test.  I had a full class D driver’s license by age 17, without the “can not drive at night” restriction others had until age 18.  I failed my first road test due to a hazardous action.  New York had just passed the original “right on red” laws at this time.  I turned right on red and a car was about two blocks away and had just came up over the hill into sight when I turned.  When I started to turn, no cars were visible but as I turned, a car became visible, so I failed.  The second time around, the car stalled several times; I drove terribly, but I passed.  No hazardous action and anyone that could have worked a stalling car like I had should pass.  License, car means driving to school and not walking.  It also meant driving my sister on some occasions as well.

     I also did the PSAT tests this year and scored a 390 on verbal and 540 on math.  Not bad for a guy who had sniffed book binder’s glue, smoked some wacky weed, drank some beers, then saw blue and red dots while taking the test with dyslexia kicking in as well.  Yeah, going to college is a definite possibility if I can get a loan to cover it.  No one else in the family had gone to college other than to take trade classes or drop someone else off.  We were a “working class” family not edumacated.  Stuff happens.

     Speaking of dots, I think it was this year (maybe the year before but 1981/1982) when I missed five days of school because the family (father, mother, sister, and me) went to Florida on an airplane.  Vacation planned and we went before school vacation so I missed 5 days of school.  My first plane ride.  The trip wasn't really spectacular or memorable, but the end of the trip was strange.  At the end we got off the plane and collected our bags and were getting ready to leave when a gentleman came up to me and introduced himself as "Gordon" I believe.  It was odd because I had seen this guy about six months to a year ago in an interview on TV where he talked a little bit about being struck in the head and seeing auras around people.  Of course in the talk is the common "I went to get on an elevator but the people didn't have lights around them so I decided not to get on the elevator and the people plummeted to their death" scene.  Also, Gordon talked on TV about seeing a huge aura that he thought may be some natural (not person maybe) phenomena that he sees in addition to talking about a famous scandal that put him in prison for 5 years or so.  Lo and behold here Gordon is talking to me and says something like, "Hi, I'm Gordon ________ ."  I said "Hi, I'm just getting back from vacation in Florida with my family, how are you doing?" or something similar.  Next Gordon continued, "I've always seen this huge light around here within a hundred miles or so and about a week ago I woke up and it disappeared.  I looked around and I saw it down in Florida.  I saw the light start moving again this morning, so I jumped on a flight from St. Louis and saw your light land before I did.  Your aura is huge, about 50 miles in diameter and I could see it all the way from St. Louis.  I even saw it out in California before."  Then George continued, "Glad to see you back home, don't worry, I'll always know where you are.  Looks like a short trip after all, going to jump on the same flight back."  Then Gordon went to the ticket counter and exchanged his ticket for a later flight for the flight he landed on and then boarded the plane that he just got off from.  That was that.  I don't know but sounds pretty convincing.  A 50 mile aura?  Oh well.  Gotta have some fun I guess.  I don't know what color or even what it really looks like, but everyone's different I guess.

     And towards the end of the year I wore shorts a few times at school outside gym class.  Imagine the shock when the head cheerleader whistles, then says, “Hey, luscious legs” and wasn’t joking.  I walked all the time, so my legs were well-developed.  All three of them, heh, heh.  Luckily the third one was taking a rest when the cheerleader yelled out.  Earlier, Cathy saw me in the shorts and gave me a big hug then had to back away a little.  Stuff happens.  Life’s cool that way.  You can be really close to someone one minute, then eight and a half inches away the next second.  You never know what may happen next…

     I mean at this time, Ron, the one I used his ID, had a friend, Larry, and Larry had a friend who had just come back from Germany and could not find a copy of a tape that I had that he really wanted to listen to.  So I knew the guy at the local record store and got the tape, I had the vinyl, and made a copy for Tommy and Larry and Larry and I took the tape to Tommy and got to listen to the walls vibrate with the volume set to one.  Really cool sound system.  Tommy later played lead guitar for a well-known band and Larry died a couple years later in 1984 in a car crash.  You just never know.  This was not the same Tom from the geek team years back.  The Tom from the geek team years back had another friend, Tom, who played drums for a very well-known group.  So to try and clarify this…  Tom E played baseball with me on the geek team and had a friend, Tom A, who played drums.  Tom S was a drinking buddy of mine that introduced me to Ron that I used his ID to buy beer.  Tommy T was a friend of Larry that later played lead guitar for another well-known band and was a relation of Rex that I would give rides to school with.

Subchapter XVI – Twelfth Grade – “Seniority and All That Goes With It”

     I started twelfth grade, my senior year of high school, in 1982 and would finish and graduate in 1983 being 123rd in a class of 268 people.  The last year, so of course many events this year but also quite a few unexpected twists and turns as well.  Definitely the next most remembered year with third grade being the top.

     Last year of public school so why not coast and take as few classes as possible?  Come on now, this is Ace and I’m not one to coast.  Classes are English, Business Law, Bookkeeping and Accounting II, Consumer Education / Criminal Justice (half year), Pre-Calculus or Calculus I (Math) can’t remember which it was, and another class I can’t remember at all now, bummer.  I graduated with 23 credit hours and two points shy of a Regents diploma with Honors on my Regents tests.  Not bad for a guy that finished 123rd in his class.

     Before school started, I was forced to take a vaccine that my doctor had put a note that I had had those diseases and that I had built up an immunity to these diseases.  But also because I had had the mumps twice on both sides, the doctor was very concerned because having the mumps a third time had been proven to cause sterility.  So I was forced to take a shot for measles, mumps, and rubella and have been sterile ever since.  Sex is fine, I just can’t have kids.

     Great story, in the beginning we elect our class representatives.  For class president, it is Cort, from fourth grade, versus Paul.  I go with Paul and so do many others.  Great too because the story is that our class president goes off to a prestigious college only to come back to the area and be a legend in himself by sweeping floors for about ten bucks an hour.  Cort, however, goes to another prestigious college and definitely does not suffer the same fate that Paul suffered being the brunt of jokes like Paul was.

     At the beginning of the year I also get my hair cut by someone for the last time.  Our neighbor, Kelly, was looking to get a job as a hairdresser and needed a volunteer to get her the job.  I volunteered which was cool.  I had always had a mop top type haircut throughout high school but Kelly cut my hair with it feathered back and a part in the middle.  Kelly got the job and the haircut lasted until senior pictures.

     Afterwards, I cut my own hair and still do.  Since I have three natural parts in my hair, any haircut or style would be difficult to maintain.  One morning, I just woke up, combed my hair straight back without a part and that was that.  I just look in the mirror and take a pair of scissors and my fingers as a guide to length and just chop my hair off myself.  Back then guys either had a part in their hair or had long hair or the mop top type haircut.  I stood out a bit as usual, so why not stand out more?  Nowadays, many men don’t have parts in their hair, but at this time, it was unheard of.

     But I just could never keep a part in my hair anyway because with three natural parts, my hair would always curl the wrong way.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t get a good haircut or such, but it was because I had figured out something that worked better for me.  Just trim it down and comb it back and let hair fall where it may.  Curly, wavy hair just does not look good with a part that goes every which way in a wind storm or even slight breeze for that matter.  I have cut my own hair ever since.

     I was driving Rex and Mike to school this year.  Mark had a car and a license now and Dewey had graduated.  I was also hanging around Glenn from the other school and I party with him from time to time.  I definitely drank a lot this year and hung around a lot of the underclassmen like Mike J, Rex, Frank, Daren, Mike P, Vince, Curt, and many others.  My classmates weren’t much on partying like the younger and older ones were.

     Was a funny incident as well this year.  I had a good practical joke pulled on me with my car.  The guys that partied in my car got a brilliant idea during their earlier lunch and put my car in neutral and steered it up on top of the hill by the parking lot.  When I went out on my lunch, my car was gone, heh, heh.  The car was pretty visible up on the hill if you looked at it.  Very funny and the good part is that nothing and no one got hurt.  That’s a good practical joke.  Other people saw them do it and laughed because it was such a great idea to pull something like that on me.

     But contrary to popular belief, my car was never set on fire or any of that during the year.  Some people exaggerate, but holes in the seat from the car cigarette lighter, not a butane lighter or such, is hardly a raging fire by any standards.  Lots of six pack lunches this year.  Did you ever fit ten people in a mid-sized car?  Actually, I tried to fit eleven but Colleen wouldn’t get inside.  Must have been quite a sight.  Colleen was a part of homeroom 403 and knew I was a bit wild and crazy, but ten people crammed in a mid-sized car was a bit much.  Oh well.  I knew Colleen was just going to ask about the upcoming prom but didn’t want to get caught asking in front of such a large audience.

     Another thing to contend with this year, Beth was born December 1, someone on December 2, and I was December 4.  The drinking age turned from 18 to 19 at midnight on December 5, or I could legally drink until midnight on my birthday.  A neighbor and Kelly’s brother, Gary, took me out on my 18th birthday and I puked quite a bit.  Also, Gary used to work at one time at one of the bars and I had known Gary for quite a while.  He lived just around the corner.  Despite the drinking age law change, I could always find beer or whatever and at around this time, I looked like Ron still and many places knew Ron, so I didn’t tell them any different, would you?  Also, Chris’ brothers, Bruce and Joel, were still in school and still old enough as was Joel’s friend, Dan.  Joel, Bruce, and Dan were the tough guys of the school now.  No one messed with them but they also didn’t bully others around either.  All pretty cool.  No bullies, party on or whatever.

     I had the same teacher for english this year as I had in ninth grade.  Lots of essay writing and the big “term paper” that I eventually turned in beyond the due date.  Manual typewriter and the term paper had to be typed.  Oh well, it got done eventually and I got a D on it.  Was one of my poorest school “big project” type efforts about, of all things, coin collecting and this term paper honestly sucked canal water.  Very horrible and not usually my style.  Coin collecting is very mundane and I am a very far out there type person most of the time.  At the end of the year, in order to pass english class, I had to pass the final exam.  I got an 80 on the final and passed the class.  On the final were two essay questions plus a bunch of multiple choice type questions.  The one essay was on a book by a well-known author and the other was a personal essay where I did more of what was expected than what I had done on the term paper.  For the personal essay, I wrote a short story that ended as a cliffhanger.

     I am Ace, I usually do things different but the term paper was to be done as a research paper and that was the problem.  I am not much on what others think, say, or do and using that as a reference.  I feel I am best as myself with myself as a reference.  Not so much my own little world as much as I let you be yourself and I will be myself whatever that may be.  I have enough things to keep me going; I don’t pay attention too much to what others may be saying or doing.  I have always been the type that tries to pay attention to what others are thinking rather than what others may be saying or doing or to what may be popular or such.  Like I said before, “I’m not much of a politician.” And that’s the way I am and seem to have always been.  Speech, speech [then speaker bangs into microphone, loud squeal, “Thank you and goodnight.”].

     But since this is the last year, senior year, of public school, it is supposed to be a time for change and to move from being taught to applying what you were taught to the “real world”.  As such, last year traditions or “rights of passage”.  First tradition, if desired, college SAT testing to see if you may be smart enough to continue learning.  But what really matters more is that it costs money for college, so “smarts” aren’t really as important as cold hard cash.  But to get into more prestigious colleges or universities, one must score well enough on these tests to gain acceptance into the more prestigious places.  The same thing I did on my PSATs last year, sniff glue, smoke pot, drink beer, take test, see dots, mess up, 360 verbal, 540 math this time.

     When I met with the school bus gentlemen in seventh grade, they discussed which prestigious school they had attended and I had said something to the effect of, “Costs too much money, I would never have enough money to attend.”  And their response was something like, “Let us know and we’ll do what we can.”  My final response to that was, “I’ll never go to one of those schools.” Or something similar.  After SAT scores came back, literature from schools got sent out in the mail.  I got four booklets from four different prestigious schools including literature from the school of the gentlemen I had met with back in seventh grade.  Imagine me, in a prestigious school.  Hell, I can’t imagine it either; Ain’t happenin’; no way; no how.  The booklets were later lost in a basement flood around 1995.  Oh well.  Me, respected, prestigious, dignified.  Blech.  Well, if after seeing Julie after graduation, because if that was what she wanted, so be it.

     Next major event for seniors, the Senior Banquet, where the “hosh posh” get their “I’m so great, worship me some more” awards.  What the heck, I ain’t got nothing better to do that night so I show up.  A couple people had asked if I was going or not and I had said, “Yeah, sure, why not?”  So I put on my monkey suit and off to pick up Cherie and Ruth and then to the awards banquet.  I sit there and watch Cort get a couple awards and a couple others get awards as well.  Then, “And the [Blank] award for the highest average in Bookkeeping and Accounting goes to Adrian ________.”  So I walk up to get the award amongst a few people going, “Ace Ace Ace”, then I sit back down with the award (an envelope).  Stuff happens and after that I sit down and wait until the end of the awards and take off, leaving Cherie and Ruth behind.  And who started the Ace, Ace, Ace cheer?  None other than Julie herself.  One hell of a wild, unexpected night to be sure.

     I was also told later by my accounting teacher that a couple people had disputed me getting the award and then my teacher just told them that even if I were to get zeroes for my last grades, I would still have the highest average.  The next highest average was 86 and the one that disputed had an 82 and was the granddaughter or great granddaughter of the one whom the award was named after.  That was a reasonable request, so the teacher told her that it wasn’t even close and that my lowest marking period grade had been an 86.  The teacher said that he didn’t know how to do the final tally because I had 108, 106, 104, 102 but the computer had just 100 for each.  So, therefore, which should he use?  I had a 94 or 96 average depending and it really wasn’t close.  The Accounting II teacher had the same last name as the coach of the “geek squad” back in fifth grade.

     Also this year, in math class, on my homework I would write the answers and show very little work, if any, on the problems.  The answers to the odd numbered problems were in the back of the book.  To be smart, because no one could do this stuff in their head supposedly, my teacher assigned even numbered problems.  Still, the right answers, very little work shown.  Yeah, I could do this stuff in my head.  Oops.  I am “Ace” after all.

     Next event, senior prom.  I said I was going to go to the prom, but I decided not to at the last minute.  Brian, Julie’s next door neighbor, had asked if I was going and I said, “yes.”  I did not end up going though.  It wasn’t that I didn’t ask anyone or such, but I just didn’t feel like wearing a monkey suit or a tux to dance in.  Just not me, so I decided to skip the prom.

     The Monday at school after the prom it came over the school announcements that Julie had died in a car accident.  I sat there in homeroom and just put my hands on the table and rested my chin on my hands.  That was it.  No more Julie.  What now?

     I always used to be loud and rowdy in school.  Whenever in the hallway and I would see Wayne, I would yell down the hallway, “Yo Wayno” and he would yell back, “Yo Ace”.  Now I was just, “hi Wayne” and no yelling.  I was like a zombie the last few weeks of my senior year.  Very quiet and subdued at school.  For three weeks after Julie died, I cried myself to sleep, literally.  But I tried my best to hide all that from everyone else.  Many never knew our story, and now it was over.  No more Family Jewels and Ace, just Ace now.  I now know what it meant to be devastated.

     After the prom came Senior Skip Out Day.  Yeah, I skipped out and drove around with a bunch of beers with a couple people.  We had heard about the party at Chris, Bruce, and Joel’s place but just drove around instead.  Darn it, the Senior Skip Out Day Party got busted for underaged drinking and I missed getting busted with the rest of them.  Instead, I got caught by the school, skipping class, and got after school detention.  I figured that one of the kids’ parents turned the party into the cops.  I got detention but I missed out on getting busted.  Rats.  Come to think of it, we had at least one kid who’s dad was a cop in the class, but anybody’s guess, really.  Could have been someone just driving by the party that lived nearby and not even from the class (most likely).  I ended up swimming at the gravel pits with Judy and Dave and others at the end of Senior Skip Out Day and soaked my wallet losing all of my IDs in one fell swoop.  Oh well.

     Zombie partyer, that’s me now.  (Not partier but partyer).  Julie is gone and no bringing her back.  I thought about Albert’s theory and realized that even at faster than the speed of light squared, the other light still hits at the same speed thusly meaning that time continues on at the same speed, regardless of the speed you are traveling.  In other words, no traveling backwards through time.  Over.  Done with.  Try to move on but to what, I have no idea.

     I graduate 123rd in a class of 268.  Middle of the road.  My grades plummet before graduation and this is a sign of things to come.  My inner drive is gone and the person that was behind it can never be brought back.  I was two points shy of graduating with Honors in Regents, but I did graduate winning the Accounting award, but still I was going way downhill in a hurry.  I absolutely did not care about anyone or anything.  I just existed.  I received both a local and Regents diploma, big deal.  On to college, big deal.  High school graduation parties, didn’t care.  On the day of graduation, after the ceremony, I went to my uncle Joe’s and drank beer.  Big whoop.  I couldn’t get a buzz anymore.  With or without alcohol, Ace the zombie.

     Next graduation party at my aunt Kim’s.  I get thrown in the pool.  Zombie.  The former life of the party is lifeless.  Drinking, sober, same.  Zombie.  Next party, Nancy and Bruce, I just sit in the background, maybe sang a couple times then went to try to sleep outside.  I couldn’t sleep so I started walking home but about a mile down the road, Tim and Brian, Julie’s neighbors, give me a ride back.  I don’t think we talked about Julie during the ride either, but, like I said, I was very quiet now.

     Last graduation party, Deb, who lived about 4 miles away.  My mother drops me off and on the way we pick up Margaret and Mary.  I just zombify again and say to Deb, “I need some air, going for a walk.”  I don’t remember walking all that way or anything that may have happened.  I just walked 4 miles, a zombie drunk, and left my eyeglasses and watch at Deb’s.  I picked the glasses and watch up the next day.  No hangovers.  No nothing.

     I decided to at least attend the local college and I got the loan to go to college.  2400 dollar loan to cover first year expenses.  Next year, add another 2400.  After college graduation, $84.71 payable every month for eight years.  I scorekept during the summer still, but I was not the same rowdy person anymore.  I was numb.  I didn’t feel anything.  I didn’t care.  Zombie.  But I would be the one in the family off to college for the first time.  What a way to end high school.  Dead, gone, buried, what next?

Subchapter XVII – Probably Ninth Grade – “What To Believe?”

     Sometime during ninth, tenth, or eleventh (I believe ninth) grade, a strange event happened where someone came up to me and said, “I notice a lot of people talk to you and get advice.  I have a problem and I was wondering if you could help me?”  He also stated who he was and that he was using his mother’s maiden name to hide his identity from others.  But he also thought that despite the name change, everyone knew who he was anyway.

     I didn’t know who he was and outside some teachers and administrators, I don’t think that many others knew who he was either.  This person was a prince who was to inherit his father’s kingdom, but he was very troubled because he was very conscientious about his beliefs and was one for honesty and very against corruption.

     The prince said something like, “I have a big problem.  Many people in my country are poor and out of work and I saw my father take money from someone then give them a contract.  How could my father do such a thing when his people are starving and out of work?  I can’t believe I saw my father take a bribe.”

     My response was, “How do you know it was a bribe?  Have you talked to your father about this?  Maybe your father was accepting this money to help the poor in your country?”

     The prince then said something like, “No one has ever talked to me like this before.  Like I was a person and not a prince.”  Then he continued, “After what I saw my father do, I do not want to be a king.  I do not want to be corrupt.”

     I think I said something like, “I know you feel bad about what you saw with your father but think about this, one day you will be king and don’t your people deserve someone who is kind and considerate and thoughtful as you are?  Some day you can be a wise and just king and make your own rules as well.  But remember, no matter how nice you make your kingdom, someone will always need to have the unpleasant job of cleaning the toilets.” or something to that effect.

     He then had to leave but gave me a huge thank you for talking to him.  This was in the beginning of the 1980’s.

     The year is now 2000 and I am at a professional baseball game that I had taken my grandmother to for her birthday that year.  I get up at the game and go to the bathroom at this ballpark.  I have to wait in line.  Down the hallway comes a distinguished gentleman with women bowing at his feet and spreading flowers at his feet as he walks, then this gentleman pauses in front of me.  Then we shake hands and he says, “Thank you.”

     After the handshake and thank you, I turned to the side and said something like, “You’d be surprised how many people wear contacts these days.”  We smiled and parted again.  The gentleman standing next to me said, “Do you know who that is?  Many would give their lives to shake his hand.”  I think I said something like, “Yes, he is a very kind person.”  Then time to go in and take a leak.

     I read in the papers a few years later (2005 or 2006 maybe) that his father had passed away and that the prince I knew was king now.  I am not proud to know him as prince or king.  But proud to have known a nice, kind, and very thoughtful person amidst a world that I had known to be selfish and arrogant.  I am very proud to have known the prince and king for what he is and was: A caring person in a very uncaring world.

     I also felt “bribe” was a bit much but also felt that the prince felt he made his point clearer using that word to express his feelings about what he saw and felt as best as he could.

     College years are still ahead for me but “schooling” is coming to an end.  Grammar, middle, and high school end.  Life ends and there is no beginning in sight, just dead ends.  I am not the “ace” I was and I just exist now.  I am alone.  No past, or future, only the present.  Whatever happens happens from now on.

Subchapter XVIII – College – “A Different Direction”

     College is not a good experience for me.  After all, I am Ace and my reputation had preceded me.  I grew up around the kids in high school and such, so it wasn’t about ego and such.  I was hit with a bunch of people with ego problems in college.  “I gotta be the best” and stuff like that.  I had just lost Julie and I never cared about being the best or such.  Grades and such are not important to me but are VERY important to others.  I am very out of place in college.  And this is a local college and not a prestigious college either.  The course work is even more so of memorize what others have said or done and much less of “do it yourself”.  I have always been a do it yourselfer, not a copying machine.

     College seemed to be designed around fitting a mold and not much on thinking for yourself.  The class where this became most apparent to me was economics.  I saw that the number crunching going on in this class was where you were trying to put the numbers in line with what you were trying to prove instead of starting with a central point and entering the numbers in to see how far off center you may or may not be.  I am one to say, “We have four jobs available and five people, is there anyway to create a fifth job?”  I was seeing this, “We have five people and four jobs, we employ five people because we split the one job between two people.  This is still five jobs in reality even though we are paying two people one half of a job each.”  Or in other words we just told you and proved to you that one half plus one half equals one plus one which equals two as we all know.  As I know, it is still only the equivalent of four jobs, anyway to create a fifth job?  Wait, didn’t we truthfully just create eight jobs but we are only accepting credit for five jobs because we are not ones to bend the truth?

     Warped is warped.  It is hard to accept ideas from one who twists the basic math precepts of mean, median, and average to suit ones own whims.  This is what turned me off completely from the supposed Great Economist.  Mister Great Economist seemed to be mixing these concepts to suit his whims.  Mean is the number that appears the most.  Median is the number in the middle.  Average is the numbers all added up then divided by the total number of numbers.  They are not interchangeable and are different concepts from one another.  Saying a number is a mean when it is actually a median just to try to bend the truth to suit your whims is not my idea of being honest.  Trying to mix medians and means to try to find the average is not good either.  But a new formula for economics by the Great Economist, take the total dollar value of all returned merchandise divided by the total dollar value of all sales and call it the Total Crap Index or TCI for short.  Numbers should be used to represent reality not twist it to prove your point which is apparently invalid since the numbers need to be twisted so badly.  I am totally turned off by economics by the Great Economist.  I can see why a country like the USA can be in such an economic mess if they listen to this person without questioning him.

     Interesting concept, be out of work for more than 26 weeks and you are no longer unemployed.  You still have no job or work but you are not unemployed either, you just get dropped and do no count for anything anymore.  Also, under this new system, if you do not work for the same company for so many weeks, you are not employed or working and if you constantly switch companies but do not stay very long with each company; you never worked. You can not be unemployed if you are out of work without a job, but look at all those jobs created for just one person.  What about a system where you have so many people that can work and so many jobs and go from there?  If you have fewer jobs than people, look for incentives to create more jobs.  If you have more jobs than people, let more people work more jobs or import people from other countries, or, better yet, give those working more time off to create more people to fill these jobs in the future.  I’ll call it preverted economics where the bottom line is sex, sex, sex because let’s face it, in the USA, you are going to get screwed one way or another so get used to it.

     Speaking of nonsense, yeah, I wrote a term paper in english class on why we should have a national debt.  Like I said, I am not one for recycling other people’s ideas and using their ideas.  I am best at recycling myself.  I am not a copying machine.  Why not support your sarcasm with cold, hard facts?  Let’s see, take six courses, failing three courses.  Flunk out, yeah.  The truth was, they wouldn’t OK me “overloading” my courses so I was bored and unchallenged.  I also had to try and adjust to the fact that you have to memorize what others have done and feel you should do whether based in reality or some warped mind.  In order to get through college I realized that I needed to be ignorant and repeat what others wanted repeated.

     Also, don’t ask questions or you may be inflicted with an image of a professor out in the middle of a field with his pants down around his ankles so that he, personally, can breed sheep.  Personally breeding sheep is illegal in the country of Greece from what I have learned.  Also, yes, my reputation had preceded me into college.  With a name like Ace, you know you are expected to complete tests faster and get higher grades than others.  Yes, I still completed tests faster than others but the grades slipped because I didn’t memorize properly.  Got to memorize it letter by letter, word for word.  So short quiz…  Choose the best answer.  A) Economics by the Great Economist is goofy, B) Economics by the Great Economist is silly, C) Economics by the Great Economist is messed up, D) I am the Great Economist regardless what you think.  The answer is based on how the author feels about stuff and not on reality.  Different situations result in different answers, but the correct answer to this quiz is E, All of the above.  Yeah, I know, E is not an option so you are screwed, such is life.  Hey, ain’t that how life begins anyway?

     I probably could have aced stuff in college but I just didn’t fit into this environment of regurgitating stuff verbatim whether accurate or not.  If someone wrote something that others accepted, memorize it.  I do finish and graduate college in two years and receive an associate’s degree in Business Administration from an accredited college.  I am not a college person nor a college student for that matter.  Come to think of it, the great english speaker, Winston, failed english three times then helped lead his country through his words through a dark war.  I guess more english speaking people understand failure better than success in dark times.  Who is to say?  Did I just say that?  Yup.  But people learn more from me than I can learn from them.

     That was my failure from college, professors teach not learn.  Professors teach only and are not supposed to learn since they know it already.  Not all of my professors are this way, but many are which is enough to turn me off from college.  Like I’ve said, I am not a copy machine and I am not one to be a carbon copy of others.  I may be the Ace, but I don’t view myself as being elite or such.  I finish my course work for college in 1985 and get the degree in the mail in February 1986.  Most of the course work revolved around accounting and if things had been better I would have transferred and went on to be a CPA, Certified Public Accountant.  Julie was gone and I didn’t see a future or care about money or prestige or such.  Heck, I didn’t even care about my name, Ace, anymore or what it stood for.

     I started becoming very withdrawn.  I met a few people in college, but not that many.  Usually, I met and knew everyone in class and such.  Now, I didn’t care.  I knew a couple of the professors from baseball because they were coaches and I was a scorekeeper.  I was never one for favoritism though.  I wished no special treatment which was great but kind of awkward at times.  But the attitude of colleges and molding people to fit accepted images was not for me.  I don’t want to be moldy and you can’t pay me enough to be that way.  That’s that.

     During my college tenure I had also come across several people that asked for help, so I tutored them privately either in the library at the college or on one of the benches outside.  I helped some in math and computers which are courses I took, but most of the time I helped them with biology, life science, and other courses I had never taken.  They didn’t know that I had not taken these courses, and I imagine if I had told them, they would not have believed me anyway.  But in tutoring, I tried to teach others little “tricks” to help them remember things easier off the top of their heads.  The biggest trick I taught was acronyms or more precisely memorize three different things at once by taking a letter from each of these things and forming a memorable word out of it like:  N – Never – O – Open – T – Toilet or “The toilet’s broke, NOT.”  Their grades improved and I helped.

     I felt better for that but I did not fit into a mold-making machine.  I had learned the acronym trick honestly from my mother’s cousin, Linda, who had passed away quite a while before after losing a battle with cancer and Linda was my first piano teacher.  Odd how some things come about.  That’s life.  You never know what may happen next and you may learn something useful from an unexpected source.  Cool!  Improve your memory and grades, take piano lessons!  It worked for me.  Like MOLDY – Make Our Lasting Depression Yours.  I am not one to get depressed because I don’t fit a certain mold or such.  I don’t get joy from people worshipping me or having to rely on me.  I get joy from helping others to be able to rely on themselves more.  Different things work for different people and helping people is really about helping others to learn to help themselves.  It’s great seeing a big smile on someone’s face after they have learned something that helps make things easier for them.  An even bigger smile when they are able to teach things to others and they go from student and tutored to teacher and tutoring which they never had thought was possible until they believed in themselves.

     Julie may be gone, but life can still be cool nonetheless.  I graduated with a 2.0 or 2.4 average, somewhere in there, and somewhere near the bottom of the class.  I completed my two years, got a degree, and I knew I was done with school.  College is just not for me.

Subchapter XIX – The Real World - “Transitions”

     Time to wrap up the first twenty years of my life and move on to the next twenty-five and beyond I guess.  Outside school was working and driving around and partying while getting away more and more from the house that bickers.  Time to change and time to go from grades to years instead.  After school, no more grading, you just go from year to year.

Subchapter XX – 1983 – “The End or New Beginnings?”

     1983, a good year to start and I can see a transition in me in many ways.  This was the year Julie died but also the year I graduated high school and started college.  Many changes this year but the biggest change was that without Julie and that type of life I was hoping for to look forward to; I was lost.  I was out of it for the last half of the year.

     During this year I worked at the ballpark which was a part time summer type job.  Only about ten percent of the kids in my class had jobs in 1983 and many of the companies in the area were not looking to hire anyone.  A couple companies were even thinking about layoffs.  The job atmosphere was not good for an inexperienced high school graduate to get their first job.  Think about it, ninety percent or 9 out of 10 people in the class I graduated high school with were looking at a bleak future unlike our predecessors.  Many went away to college and many left the area because the future was so bleak.  I stayed, however, and roughed it out through the tough times.  I am not one to walk away from a challenge.  The factory work was gone and moving overseas and the area was moving from burly factory workers to a bunch of “paper pushers” that did very little physical work.

     I finished high school and started college in 1983.  I worked and partied and went from a yellow car to a green car to a maroon car that turned orange in the rain.  The yellow car was my first car and had brake problems as well.  In 1982 the brakes went out coming down a hill with Mark and his two cousins riding with me.  The transmission was automatic but wouldn’t downshift into second or first gear.  The emergency brake was out as well and not working.  A pickup truck goes through the intersection and both Mark and I cranked the steering wheel to turn right to head up a hill to slow down and stop this out of control beast.

     Got rid of the yellow car and picked up a green car.  The green car had seat belts and such and was in nicer shape.  I was around a lot of kids that partied a lot and the inside got trashed in 1983.

     I got another car in 1983 and this one was maroon and white, the high school colors.  I got it after graduating and the engine in it was too powerful for the brakes.  Coming down a hill once with Dewey, who graduated the year before, the brakes were literally smoking black smoke.  We went passed where Dewey needed to go and finally stopped at the bottom of the hill.  Dewey got out and walked uphill to where he wanted to go.  Another nice incident with the “school colors” car.  I had just had new tires put on this car and I was coming down the hill from college.  The front tire blew just before a sharp corner going downhill.  I managed to get the car stopped a little ways before this sharp corner and put on the spare in one of the worst places imaginable.  It seemed like everyone at the college knew that I had a tire blow out on the “corner”.

     I also had to get a sheriff’s ID for college and at this time, they had to do a blue “minor” ID card because of the drinking age change in 1982.  I still have this ID and I am definitely a “space cadet” in the picture.  Stuff happened but I didn’t care by the end of the year.  I technically flunked out of college in the first semester but I was reinstated.

Subchapter XXI – 1984 – ‘Something Different”

     1984 and oh brother.  I was in college still and during the summer and into part of the fall I worked for a local museum mostly at the cash register but a few times in the stock room.  There were some old bowling alley lanes in the stock room because the museum was built from an existing building that used to have a bowling alley in it.  But at the museum, I would go to a coworker, Fred’s, house and party after work with Fred, Al, Steve, and others.  We would party at the house and go to the local bar as well.

     We drank a lot and even better, different area and didn’t know about Julie and all that.  I drank heavily at this time and apparently the one who was driving Julie was under the influence when he crashed and Julie died.  I never had any bad feelings towards whoever was driving when Julie died.  It was an accident.  Stuff happens but it wasn’t intentional.

     Also working at the museum was a guy named Herb.  I clowned around a bit with Herb and at one time Herb told me that he was going to the local college as well because it was cheaper, then he planned on transferring out to a more prestigious college after a few years.  Herb was studying to be a lawyer like his famous uncle.  I kind of brought out a “party animal” type attitude in Herb.  Herb’s uncle was having problems but we didn’t really talk much about that.  We just had a rowdy time as much as possible in a museum.

     Was different as well because on one occasion we had a couple ladies come to our register and they took pictures of us to show people back home, where they came from, that racial color didn’t matter and friends are friends.  Herb was dark skinned and I was not.  It was almost unheard of that people of different color would talk and hang around together back from where these ladies came from.  But they had proof now that it happened in a New York museum at least, even if it still didn’t happen back where they came from.  I was wanting to get away from dealing with the Julie situation and Herb didn’t want to dwell on what was going on with his uncle.  So we had a good time not being too serious about stuff.  Skin color wasn’t even a thought of ours until these ladies, that were dark skinned like Herb, came to our line.  Didn’t think about it much afterwards either.  Just one of those things that happen that you don’t really think about.  Party on, have fun, that’s stuff to think about.  Well not really think, do.

     I raised a lot of hell in 1984 but I also started going in different directions.  I had college plus working at the museum plus partying plus other stuff as well.  For a while, since getting my driver’s license in 1981, I had been sneaking off to hang around near where Julie had moved to without seeing Julie.  I had started using two different fake names at this time.  The one name was Mikey and the other Albert.  If it was a possible fight situation, I used Albert.  If I was out and about at a bar, I used Mikey.

     As Albert I was starting to go to a certain area that was rough and rowdy and a few incidents happened where I had got into a couple fights with a couple “bullies” in the area.  I guess “muggers” would be more appropriate than “bullies”.  I can still to this day say that I have never been in a fight with someone and if I hit them, they got broken bones.  Jaws, shoulders, ribs, backs, a skull.  I looked skin and bones, but I hit hard.

     Towards the end of the year I had picked up two more names as well, James and John.  I was still known as Ace where I grew up, but I was starting to sneak off to other areas and it was nice getting away from the ace stuff and all that.

     As Albert, “You can call me Albert.  You can call me Bert. You can call me James.  You can call me Jim.  You can call me Jimmy.  You can call me Rich.  You can call me Richie.  You can even call me late for supper, but don’t ever call me Al.”  I was mostly known by my street names of Sampson (at first), then [censored] which most knew about and knew me by [censored].

     It was odd also, but at this time some scholars (if you want to call them that) started trying to say that the biblical Sampson was probably about six foot two, blond hair, and about 160 pounds.  The reason why [censored] is because there was a large group of people, a gang of sorts, that wanted [censored] dead.  They publicly got their wish in 1986, but I didn’t actually die if you haven’t noticed.  My [censored] nickname was very well known at one time and some people started saying, "I’ll [censored] you.”  Which was the equivalent of saying, “I’ll beat you so bad that even your own mother won’t recognize you.”  It was a popular saying for a while, but I haven’t heard it used in a long time now.

     I rarely used James or John but it was mostly Mikey, the guy with the gold cap on his left front tooth and a large gold chain around my neck, wearing solid white from head to toe.  White italian loafers, white silk shirt, white satin trousers (pants too), white socks, golden bronzed skin color with baby blue eyes and golden wavy hair, and driven around later on by “Alf” in a white distinctive car.  I was a sight to behold.  I still am but times change.  I haven’t worn the Mikey outfit since 2004 now and I gave it all up in 1986 then 2004.

     But I had quite a few women as Mikey between 1984 and 2004 and it started out as a joke on someone in August and then to a different way of life for me in November of 1984.  There were five girls that hung out together and lived near each other.  The one came over to me and the rest later followed.  After the first girl, the others were very curious because the first one was usually “the flirt” and they had never seen her behave this way before.  She was staggering around and pretty much “out of it” for a couple days afterwards.  No hangover or such, she was just really goofy for a couple days.  I knew what happened and she knew but it was one of those things where until you go through it, you don’t know.  She had never had an orgasm quite like this where her whole insides just exploded and she just spasmed so hard and so much for about three minutes, that she just collapsed.  She couldn’t really move too much, just smile.  Her insides just pulsated for a while then slowly stopped.  She came like never before.

     I saw her again about a week later and she pulled me aside and told me that she was tired of her one friend always trying to take away her men.  She asked if I’d like to play a trick on her friend and I said I would.  She said she’d talked to the other girls and that they wondered if they might be able to get the same as well, but she also said that they kept it a secret from the one because they were tired of her getting “the good ones” and bragging about how great she was and such.  I was like, “OK.  But is it gonna bother you if I’m with your friends and not you?”  And she was like, “You’re incredible.  I just can’t keep this to just me.  Go have some fun.  I want my friends to enjoy this too.  Don’t worry about me, that’s sweet, but I’ll be fine.  The others could use a good time too, but let me deal with the arrangements.”  So then she set me up with one of her friends, then the other, then the other.

     The last one left, of course, was the best looking of the group and she was pissed because I had been with the others but not her.  She was also kept in the dark and where the others knew it was sex, she kept thinking that it was some new wonder drug that I had found but wouldn’t let her have it.  Definitely one major joke going on and I was in the middle of it.  She was also kept clueless by the other girls and they said it was funny because she kept looking to find this new “drug”.  So they had taken a bottle and filled it with candy buttons and then they passed it around amongst themselves.  So this girl tried to sneak a couple out of the bottle and the others told her, “That guy has the active ingredient and those pills won’t do nothing for you without it.”

     This started in July and had lasted until the end of August when it was the joke girl’s turn.  The joke would soon be over, but there was also someone I had been noticing that had seemed to be watching all this drama unfold.  I told the one, who started this joke, secretly, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back but I wanna make her sweat it even more.  Have you got the bottle?” and she said, “Of course not, she’s got that silly bottle and holding it like it’s the most valuable thing on Earth.”  And I said, “Toy with her a little and act like you’re trying to get the bottle away from her and I’ll go over somewhere else and look like I’m gonna try to get someone else and skip her entirely.”  And a beam was in her eye as she said, “Sounds good.  I hadn’t thought of something like that.  Don’t hurry back.”

     So off I went to talk to this other girl, well woman really.  The one I was going over to was a bit older than the others and looked to be in her late 20's early 30’s maybe.  I went over to this other girl and introduced myself as “[Full fake name] but most call me Mikey.”  I slipped her a twenty and asked if she’d be interested in helping me play a joke with the others and she was like, “Keep the 20, I’ve been waiting to talk to you anyway.  Have a seat.”

     So I sat down and she said, “Just to make sure, you’re not a drug dealer are you?”  And I answered back, “Not hardly, er, um, well you know what I mean.”  And we both kinda giggled a little.  She was then like, “Yeah, I think I know what ya mean.  I’ve been with a lot of men, but I’ve never known any man that can do what you’re doing.  Four different girls and the same each time, ever thought about making money off this?”  My response was, “Nope, but sounds interesting.  Don’t know if it’d work that way.  Could always try though.”

     She then said something like, “I work for someone else but it’s not working out and I was thinking of going out on my own but don’t know where to start.  Any ideas?”  And I said, “If you have the money or could get a loan and buy an apartment complex with a business.  You could use the business to hide the others going into the apartments and could set it up with the girls in the apartments as tenants and employees and set up paychecks and all that to hide what was going on.”  And she said, “Sounds a bit over my head, but I know a couple places and I could definitely get a loan to cover all this.  Thanks.”

     Then she continued, “My boss is more into drugs and that and I need to get away from it.  A couple of the other girls as well.  It’ll take a little while to set up but can I get a hold of you when I do?”  And I said, “I’ll be around.  Let me know.”  I also said something like, “You gonna be alright?”  And she was like, “Yeah, I’ll be OK.  He’s too stoned most of the time to know what’s going on.  I can manage.  I’ll be fine.  You sure you’re not workin’ for anyone?”  And I was like, “Positive, I lost a close friend a while ago and just graduated so I’ve got my late nights free at least for a while anyway.”  She was like, “I’ll be around and set things up.  Let me know if things change for you.”  I said, “Alright.  Probably time to get this over with over there.  See ya sometime.”

     And then I went back over to the other girls and finished the joke off.  This joke is still the only woman I’ve been with that has ever went off twice.  The first time about two and a half hours then a second time about four hours after that.  We started about 1:30 AM and I had to carry her into her place at about 9:30 AM.  After carrying her into her place, where the other four were waiting, I plopped her limp body on the bed and crawled into the bed next to her and just closed my eyes.  Next, the other girls taunted her with, “Any pills left or did you take them all?”  She was just too far gone and couldn’t even manage to grunt back, then she kind of grunted out, “Missed my pills” and the girls laughed and next thing I knew I had a new nickname, Mister Pills.  I passed out until about two thirty in the afternoon and then I left.

     I was still working at the museum in the day, partying with others at night; college classes and such coming up.  I am burning the candle at both ends and in the middle too.  I didn’t care anymore and I was willing to do or try just about anything at this point in my life.

     Come to also find out that this one that I played the joke on came from a wealthy family and she had the biggest joke on the rest of them because the other four didn’t know.  I was definitely having to balance my time between different things, different people, different names, different times, different places.  Things were definitely different for me in 1984.  I saw the older woman a couple times and she said that she was getting close but not yet ready to move on.

     My grades at college were improving and I was working weekends at the museum for a short while before being let go.  I actually didn’t work for the museum directly, but worked for a temp agency.  After the museum job ended late September or early October, I was let go by the agency.

     During the second week of November, the lady said that all things were in place now and asked if I could meet someone somewhere at such and such place and such and such time and they would give me a hundred bucks.  She also told me that she had set up a bunch of clients for me under the premise that no woman can last eight hours with me.  She said she had received about three thousand women from different areas that thought otherwise.  Sounded good to me.  It would keep me busy at least and I started “turning tricks” the second week of November in 1984 and was told that I had a room that I could use if I wanted and that I had to at least do three each month or out I went.

     The first month, November, I did six and I also spent some time with my “pimpette” showing her how to legitimize everything with fake inventories and such.  I introduced her and myself into a world of being a legitimate business person while working the oldest profession.  Four of my first six clients ended up working for my pimpette after they lost a bet that they could last more than eight hours.  They became “call girls” afterwards and each one was trained on what was expected of them and such.  They were recruited from her old boss and two needed to be detoxed first.  Surprisingly, she was right and her old boss really didn’t notice.  Her old boss had always thought of them as throwaways and not worth anything anyway.  Two spent a month away at detox and she worked the other two after teaching them her new system.

     My pimpette set up all appointments and such and was the only one to run the business downstairs.  She would send the clients up from downstairs and the girls were to remain upstairs unless she personally came and got them.  Also, the girls were told to tell people outside that they lived above the business and worked with the inventory room out back.  Business did very well for quite a while and is probably still doing well.

     I helped set up and maintain the books while someone else maintained the business.  Taxes and loans got paid.  She was manager; I was in charge of the books, Alf was our driver, and the four call girls were employed as clerks.  The money started rolling in and even though there was people coming into the store, many were there to buy a piece of what was upstairs.  We sold a lot of stuff that never existed at a reasonable profit as well.  Our books reflected high quality inventory with a high markup getting moved rapidly.  Alf logged some miles moving this inventory and I kept track of all this at a modest salary of course.  The boss would send me the info and I would just translate the info into accounts and such.

     I am doing more and more but talking less and less.  I keep each thing separate and don’t talk about the Ace stuff as Mikey and all that.  I am starting to smile and raise hell again after my devastation in 1983.  I am not very close to anyone except myself anymore which suits me fine.  I don’t feel like caring anymore.  One thing does kind of slip through though.  As Ace I have said a few times jokingly, “I’m a whore, not a slut, I get value for my services.”  As Ace, a couple people were concerned because I wasn’t seeing women and that came out as well as, “I’m looking to be a kept man and let’s face it, most of the women around here ain’t got that much cash.”  And that was that.  It was also odd because I wasn’t really adjusting to having different names and such and I didn’t have any troubles keeping things separate.  Different areas, different people, different outlook.

     I have at least an eight track mind and I’m only using maybe four or five tracks.  But the change is good for me.  Although I’m worried about possibly being caught between these worlds of mine if people move or such, I’m not that worried about it.  What happens happens.  Go with what ya got.  And using four or five tracks instead of just one or two keeps me busy enough not to dwell too much on Julie not being around anymore.  No real past or future, just live in the present.  Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow never comes, today is here and now.

Subchapter XXII – 1985 – “Finishing Up, Moving On”

     1985, a different year to keep up with now, but I managed back then easily.  At the start of my last part of college I jammed my right middle finger in gym class.  I used my left hand to write with for a while and some people said, “You’re not a lefty.” And I said, “Actually I’m both but I jammed my finger, see” and life went on with my middle finger waved high in the air.

     In mid May I was still partying with Fred, Al, and Steve and Linda and Lisa and others at Fred’s house.  I had a small dark blue car at this time.  It was Al’s and Steve’s birthdays and I was driving Steve around.  We went to a local bar then went to leave and I let two girls into the back seat then they disappeared.  Next Steve and I were driving down the road and the front passenger side headlight went out and I ended up getting stuck in a ditch, in of all places, right next to the judge’s home.  My car had got stuck so that it would not go into reverse.  I thought maybe if I could get it going enough I could get over the ditch and out of there.  Later, another car pulled up with the two girls in it and Steve left and I stayed with my car.  Later a cop car showed up and I had had six drinks in eight hours but I was out of it and had been breathing the burning rubber off of my back tires for a good hour and a half.  I took the breathalyzer and I blew a .16 which was a big surprise to me.  DWI reduced to DWAI.  Temporary license for Ace for a short while but I managed.

     I also finished up my college coursework this year but didn’t get the degree until the next year.  About 70 women this year and not one was able to collect a refund.  I would put 500 bucks on the night stand or close by and say, “If you can get this when I’m done, you can have a refund.”

     Physically, I bulked up this year.  No extra weight but my muscles expanded greatly from having to carry women to the bathroom before they possibly wet the bed but wouldn’t have known because they were so out of it.

     In the fall, I started working as painting and maintenance at the local library and that lasted until next year.

     In 1985 another problem, well, a couple problems.  First, a group of nine big guys were picking on two guys outside a bar.  I saw this and said, “Hey, how about picking on someone your own size?”  From a six foot 160 pounder to a group of guys that not one of them was under 200 pounds.  I then picked up the biggest one by his belt and tossed him into the others from over the top of my head.  The two guys that were holding the two guys getting picked on, let go of the two and took off.  The two guys getting picked on also took off as well.  The other seven got the crap beat out of them by one guy, me, that was halfway to being legally blind.  Quite a mess.

     I appeared before a judge on this one because as the cop said, “These were locals, not the gang.”  Times were different then than now.  At this time, contributory negligence was a key buzz word and if someone did something to create a bad situation, they could suffer the consequences of what could happen.  Nine guys picking on two is definitely “contributory” and the judge gave a stern warning as well as a seven year, yes seven year, dismissal to me, Albert, Sampson, [censored], whatever.

     The judge could not believe when he saw the guys all beat up with crutches and casts galore and then looked to the ‘wimps’ that did this.  Well, one wimp and two onlookers.  The odd part was when the judge looked over the situation then stated to me jokingly, “Don’t tell me, your name is Sampson, right?”  To which I responded, “At one time I was called that, but my name now is [censored] but Albert if you prefer.”  And I went into my spiel about not calling me Al.  The judge’s eyes just rolled in his head.  The judge ended with the ‘sentencing’ but also with a stern warning to the nine guys of “If you go trying to start fights with people, expect to lose even if you think the odds may be in your favor.”  And the final words to me from the judge, “And Albert, I am doing this because you need to find a better way to deal with things.  I appreciate you trying to help these two guys out, but if you don’t get better control of yourself you’re gonna kill someone someday.  This sentence means that if something like this happens again in the next seven years, you WILL be going to jail for a LONG time.  Just call the cops and let them handle it from now on.”

     Afterwards, the cop pulled me aside and said that they wanted my help for the outside gang that kept trying to move in and take over the area.  Let the local police force deal with the rest.  I had overstepped my bounds.  The police had been giving me tips as to when the outside gang was around, there were no tips before this.  It just happened and I did get carried away.

     Later on in November, a cop’s half brother, who was a lot bigger than I was, got beat up by three guys who were now going around claiming that they had beat up [censored] but not hardly.  A distant cousin of the cop wanted to take care of this but we didn’t want him to get into trouble and lose his position and probable jail time and all that.  So we made a decision that this relative would train me to keep the cousin involved but not directly involved.

     After the training, three brutal months in the Adirondacks, I would go after these guys then disappear.  The cop’s half brother, that was attacked, was in a coma for three weeks and in the hospital for three months.  He came out alright and was fine afterwards but he wasn’t [censored] and didn’t deserve what happened.  I trained with the cousin for three months and I told the cousin, “Do your worst, I can handle and endure anything.”  So he did and we trained only at night in bad conditions and bitter cold.  The cousin even said he had trained many men but had never had someone that could endure so much, still want more, and still keep going.  But the cop’s half brother was not Albert, I was Albert or Mikey or Ace or whatever.  I was pissed but the cousin wanted to kill the three, I had a better plan and the cop agreed.

     The plan unfolded in early 1986 and three gang members ended up hospitalized, one paralyzed with three broken vertebrae and a cracked tailbone, one with both legs snapped, and the third with a broken upper and shattered lower jaw, broken ribs and punctured lungs.  They found out that they had got the wrong guy.  I just knocked on their door and a couple of the neighborhood people saw me and spread the word, “[Censored] is here.”  These three had been told by the people in the area that they got the wrong guy and the gang members said back, “Well where is he then if we didn’t get him?”  So I knocked on their door and when the door opened, the whole neighborhood heard me yell out, “I heard you’re lookin’ for me!”  I grabbed the one that opened the door and picked him up and bashed his back four times up against the metal coat hangars on the wall, then just tossed him across the room.  I grabbed the next guy, who was behind the door, by his legs, flipped him over on his front then bent his legs backwards at the kneecap, snapping the tendons in his legs.  The last one left was the scrawniest but the biggest mouth of the bunch.  This guy was on the phone in a different room, so I went in and grabbed him away from the phone and said, “Now let’s see you run your big mouth again.”  Two punches to his rib cage then I beat him in the mouth relentlessly up against the wall then I stopped and he just dropped.

     Then I took off out the door and jumped in my car and took off with the neighborhood coming out and cheering “[censored]” but also trying to find out what had gone on.  I heard later that as the ambulance guys pulled the gang members out of the apartment, the neighbors told them that they had warned them about getting the wrong guy and that I would be back.

     I was back, but for a short while according to plan.  The next part of the plan involved a faked car chase and my faked death.  It was decided that things had got out of hand and before an all out war happened, I needed to disappear.  About every other month since mid 1984, this gang had sent people from a distant city to this place because they kept having problems in their original city.  This gang was looking to relocate and try to expand and I kept showing up and stopping them.  Truth was that some other people had joined this gang and were feeding information to others, including myself, outside this gang.  The gang would try to mug someone, I would beat up the muggers, the muggers would go back and a different group would be sent.  Usually just two or three people at a time.  The ones sent would be recruits though, and these three weren’t recruits but actual members.

     And try telling a cop that you got beat up while trying to mug someone back in 1984 to 1986.  Times were different back then because cops knew to ask the ‘right’ questions.  The cops had heard reports of muggings but also had already heard about the one that beat up the muggers.  So when a complaint was made, the question came up of “What were you doing to get beat up?  We’ve heard stories of a couple people trying to mug someone then they got beat up, do you know anything about this?  My advice is to go back from where you came from and forget about coming back here again, wouldn’t you agree?  The score, attempted mugging 3 to 5, stopping a mugger, zero.  But if you want to try and press charges then I guess I’ll have to book you for attempted mugging, don’t you think?”  Which those questions took care of the complaint.  But also, violence begets violence and those who live by the sword can also die by the sword, including myself.

     This situation was different but I had told the “infiltrators” that I had spotted a couple of their members and that if I could spot them then the gang could probably spot them as well because of the training they received.  Cops tend to put their weight on their back heels, flat feet, while fighting.  Cops are trained to be defensive, not offensive like true street fighters are.

     Things would end in 1986 but 1985 was the beginning of that end while still continuing in other directions.  As John, another direction had come about but wrong direction I feel.  A step in the right direction but actually a sidestep.  At this time I understand why many people are used to having things a certain way and if things do not go their way then these people get upset at others.  Start to enter the world of ‘disorders’ in psychology and psychiatry.  These disorders are caused by environment and NOT by a physical condition.  These obsessive people develop bad habits to try and bully others into caving in to their whims.  These people wish to set up an environment of their own perceived ‘perfection’ that is not honestly attainable.  ‘Fail’ and you never hear the end of it.  Both directions, because if the ‘perfectionist’ fails then you never hear the end of a long line of ‘excuses’.  The victim has no choice in the matter since the perpetrator is the one doing the deed yet label the victim as an ‘enabler’ or ‘accomplice’?  Treat the victim by saying they ‘enabled’ when in reality they had no choice and were forced while letting the perpetrator run amok.  Make sense yet?  You can not ‘treat’ someone that is hell bent on hurting others for their own gain, except to isolate them or ‘destroy’ them to keep them from hurting again.  How is non isolation the “enabler’s” fault anyway?  We can’t blame psychologists or psychiatrists for doing wrong can we?

     But to honestly treat a problem means to get to the root of the problem and destroy that root.  But destroy the root with what?  Honesty?  Parish the thought.  Bullshit begets bullshit and enter into ‘modern’ psychology where bullshit conquers all.  Every thing has a hidden meaning apparently and one can not attack a problem head on.  Sneaky begets sneaky and neither side ever truly gains anything except to see who can get away with the most bullshit and nonsense.  Never directly confront a perpetrator because they will become violent.  No shit.  Stop violence with direct confrontation in a non-violent and calm manner, parish the thought.  Don’t ask, ass/u/me.  Not for me.  There is nothing wrong with going beyond what is thought achievable but there is something wrong with setting unrealistic expectations.  There are always things that happen that can not be planned.  “Control freaks” are ‘diseased’ minds.  Things must always be and happen in a certain order and a certain way.  Deviate from the accepted perception and failure is your destiny.

     But what about those that deviate and succeed?  Is that possible?  Of course it is possible.  Surrogate.  Interrogate.  Rules break themselves if they can not be truthfully enforced.  Dishonesty ensues.  Perceived unattainable perfection.  How can someone help others when they can not truly help themselves?  The ultimate diatribe against oneself.  You have to follow the advice that I don’t even abide by.  Albeit, blatant hypocrisy.  But in reality one rule always applies to behavioral problems and that rule is “How would you feel if someone else did to you what you are doing to them, regardless of how the other person acts and behaves?”

     How are you actually acting?  Reality or just acting?  The conscience.  Reality.  Truth.  Essence.  Being.  Humanity.  Life.  Disorder?  Misnomer.  Dysfunctional?  Not able to function “outside the box” that they have built around themselves.  Not adaptable.  Unacceptable.  Psychologists and psychiatrists are nut cases.  The doctor is especially controlling and manipulative like most others of their professions, whatever the profession may be.  Warped reality.  Dishonesty.  Time for me to move on.  I think.  I do not belong.

Subchapter XXIII – 1986 – “Starting With an End and It Just Keeps Ending”

     1986, another year of turmoil but manageable.  Things eventually started slowing down and except for college graduation ceremonies, college was over for me.  I got my associate’s degree in February and participated in the graduation ceremonies in either late May or early June of 1986.  I received the degree in the mail.  I was let go from the library maintenance job in early 1986 then worked the summer at the ballpark again while simultaneously having another job changing over a local department store as a temp worker yet again.  I got this temp job because I looked a lot like the head boss.  So the guy hired me on the spot because he thought I might be a relative or such, which I wasn’t.  Come to find out later though, this guy that looked like me was the son of one of the bosses at the museum I had worked at a couple years ago.  At the end of the year, another job selling accident and health insurance with Vince from homeroom 403 fame.  Quite a year.

     And this year started with several loud bangs as the cop and coroner had me get out of my car and into a demolished similar car that was smashed into a tree.  The cops words over the radio were, “He’s not gonna make it.”  Then the cop and the coroner smashed the windshield in on me and the driver’s side window as well.  Next came a mixture of ketchup, kidney bean juice, and pickle juice to make it look like my throat had been cut.  Pictures taken.  I had what looked like a rash for a couple days on my neck, which I told people was from shaving.  Albert or [censored] was now officially dead.  Another identity, James, was deported after an incident with a baseball bat and a very upset pimp that got a cracked skull.  Identity, John, was deported as well back to Germany.  Just Ace and Mikey left at the end of the year.

     Like I said, things had got out of hand and I was personally told by the people that issued me those identities that probably at the rate I was going that the next time I hit someone I would most likely kill them whether intentional or not.  I even realized I was at a point where I didn’t know my own strength.  I was physically, but not psychologically, out of control.  Mikey was ‘non-violent’ so I was allowed to keep that identity but my days of being a “decoy” were over.  They had got the information they wanted so the party was over now anyway.

     I had also started playing in a band in late 1985 and it broke up in 1986.  We did our own songs and ended with a couple cover songs with altered lyrics.  Never recorded anything and the band consisted of Chris, the axeman, on lead guitar; Ray, the boom boom man, on bass; Steve, the sticks man, on drums; and Mikey, the G Man because I was always working under the covers with women, on vocals and rhythm guitar.  Write about what you know about so some very down and dirty songs were written.

     Ray was Chris’ brother and Steve was available.  Chris and I worked well together and would bounce ideas back and forth on the guitars but Chris did most of the solos.  I was a constant pain to Ray and Steve because they didn’t seem to be into the ‘sound’ like I was.  Ray and Steve would play most of the parts but when I was hoping for a robust bass part or a rim shot on the snare, it usually didn’t happen.  I was alright with Chris but usually pretty pissy towards Ray and Steve.  I would say, “a rim shot like this…” and it just wouldn’t happen with Steve or “Bend the string a little like this…” with Ray which just didn’t happen either.  I was a terror at rehearsals with Ray and Steve.  Chris just stayed out of it.

     A possibility of a contract came up but I said I wouldn’t sign unless they signed Chris.  No contract and the band broke up.  I haven’t seen any of them since or heard about them either.  The breakup occurred about the time of Albert’s faked death and I was trying to lay low in the area.  The music we did would still be as fresh sounding today as it was back then but not to be.  Way too raunchy to ever get any airplay.  I’m an extreme person and even in today’s climate the stuff that was done back then is still far too extreme to be even considered “underground”.

     The lyric content was just that nasty.  Our start off song that set the stage for the oncoming onslaught of “bump and grind” type music was titled “Fuck You Over” and the material got more graphic from there.  Dirty is one thing, but this stuff was downright vulgar and no part of human anatomy or sex act was left unheard during the set of 17 songs.  The music written was melodic but the lyrics were very vulgar yet genuine.  And I was not going to go less perverted for any silly record contract.  No deal.  Sign Chris, I’ll think about being more ‘political’.  No Chris.  No way in hell.

     Later I realized what the company was looking to do.  The record company had another band in mind to sign but they were not too keen on the lead singer of this other band but loved the lead guitar player.  I disagree highly with the record company and the lead guitar player is crap and tries to disguise his terrible playing with a lot of fuzz and distortion.  Would not have worked and I could have worked with Chris but not with this other egomaniac from another band.  That was that.  The other band was a five piece and we were a four piece.

     The songs still exist in my head as do all the great enhancements Chris made to them.  We just worked great together.  But like a hooker that doesn’t want to get caught, nothing caught on tape that still exists that I am aware of.  I would have had to have redone Ray and Steve’s parts anyway “to get it right” so stuff never really got recorded despite all the jamming and such.  Ended up a mess.

     I have played guitar with others since then but Chris just had this knack for adding the right fill at the right time while leaving other things alone.  Neither Chris nor I were virtuosos at the time but we learned to play off of each other.  Very rare.  I had been playing guitar since age 10 and I had learned a lot on my own.  After 1986, I didn’t play guitar that often anymore.  Just not the same.  The music ‘business’ left a bad taste in my mouth.  So 1986 starts with an end then just keeps ending.  Another year over and a new one yet to begin.

Subchapter XXIV – 1987 – “A New Beginning or Just the Same Old?”

     1987, so little time, so many stories.  My job selling insurance ended last year and this year I started working for the second longest place I’ve worked at outside the summer scorekeeping job.  I started working for a local grocery store.  Oops, sorry to take away the suspense, but third longest lasting job; I’ll let you find out my longest lasting job in 2004.

     In February, I started having some health problems namely (or unnamed actually besides…) my dick, cock, penis, pecker, peter, wiener, schlong, dong, wang, willie, wad, pud, one-eyed snake, but definitely not a prick.  I started getting red welts on the outside and a discharge of puss once in a great while.  Found out in November that it was all caused by a bad reaction to latex, which resulted in an infection, so I had to take a leave of absence from my longest profession.

     I started working at the grocery store, where my sister also worked, in March.  I started out as a carry-out then moved to the produce department then became the last person to work bulk foods as a separate department.  Even with the same company, I moved around quite a bit.  I had also helped in the bottle return room as well as with floor cleaning.  My sister worked cash register and I worked as a carry out.  My sister was at college now and she had graduated high school in 1985 and she was in a book of students for 1984 and 1985.  Many thought I should have made the book, but glad I didn’t have the extra curricular activities to qualify.  My sister worked hard at school and I goofed off.  She earned the recognition.  I’m not one for recognition, just ask anyone that ‘aces’ anything.  Ace who anyway?  Me, The Ace Man.

     But my sister left for another job by the end of the year and I stayed at this grocery store for nearly four and a half years.  While working here I met many people while also working alongside my sister (nicknamed “Machine Gun”) and Dewey from the “you passed my stop, I’ll walk back” fame.  At the time I started at the grocery store, it was the largest grocery store in the area.  About ten years after I was fired, the store closed.  Stuff happens.

     Also, at this store, I had started getting a bad reputation.  Get this, a kid walks into the store to buy something marked for 99 cents but does not know about sales tax yet.  I give the kid the extra 7 cents (eight percent sales tax) and I must be evil to do so and covering up for something in my deep, dark, evil past or whatever.  Not my story, ask them.  So I kind of asked and got told something like this… Everybody works hard for money so nobody gives anybody anything without getting something in return.  I must be up to something or have some guilty conscience or whatever because nobody does something for nothing in the USA unless they have a guilty conscience or whatever.  Hey, I got a smile from someone I didn’t know for an extra seven cents that didn’t really matter to me.  Money well spent as far as I was concerned.  Random Act of Kindness, Nope.  The seven cents meant more to the kid than to me so why not?  Cripe, I’m working about 60 hours and making a little less than 200 bucks a week, so seven cents is crucial to me?  “Grown ups” are idiots and I prefer being “childish”.  With stuff like this being said because of a measly seven cents, small wonder I don’t want to “grow up”.

     Define assumption.  Let’s break it apart, shall we?  First part, ass, someone that doesn’t know shit but wants everyone else to think they don’t have their head up their ass trying to find out where shit comes from.  Ump, umpire, one that passes judgment on another but actually is judging themselves without realizing it (“How dare you question my authority, you little brat?”).  Tion (pronounced “shun”), get away and avoid.  So there you have it.  Assumption defined.  Maps are flat so the world must be flat too.  So be careful about going over the edge and beyond what “we” know.  Think about it.  Fear Me, Myself, and I.  Bah.  Gives me a headache.  The whole is larger than its parts.

     How about “knowledgeable”?  OK, no ledge available to be needed to jump off of for being such a dumb ass while assuming stuff that’s not true.  So do you make assumptions or actually have knowledge?  The mind is a terrible thing unless properly trained.  Learn well.

     I met an awesome person this year and we both partied a lot.  She saved me from drowning once too.  Mary Beth, Kewl Beams Babe, party aminal like me.  I also found out that I worked with a couple distant cousins on my mother’s side, Vicky, Sue, and Mary.  And later on, working at the store was Sue and Mary’s little sister, which Mary Beth nicknamed Squirt (don’t ever call her Missy or she’ll talk your ear off).  Mary Beth, Scott, Sue, and I partied a lot.  Scott and Sue were starting to see each other but only after Sue’s mother told Sue that I was a distant cousin.  I was glad I was there when Sue’s mother explained the relation between us, because the look on Sue’s face was priceless.  Sue looked like she would need to sit in a church confessional for a month after finding out we were distant cousins.  Nothing happened between me and Sue but still, that look.

     But I would work early mornings in produce, about 5 am, and get out of work then party, constant cycle, around the clock.  One day I was really exhausted and Mary Beth was really concerned, so I tried to explain stuff as best I could but that I was used to 24 / 7 around the clock.  Mary Beth was going to be graduating from the same high school I graduated from in 1983.  She planned on going away to a university after graduation and I would be missing a very good friend.

     Mary Beth was around to see me throw my fits and such and was the one that knew why I had started walking.  I used to walk back and forth to school every day and that seemed to help drain off my excess energy and anger when I was younger.  I was getting very angry most of the time now, so I just started taking short walks then gradually longer and longer.

     The incident that started all of my walking happened with Mary Beth.  One day at work Mary Beth told me that she had a jealous boyfriend named Chris and that she wanted me to “get lost” if he came in the store.  My response was, “Jealous, we’re just friends.  What’s his problem?  I’ll just kick his ass and that’ll stop his jealousy.”  To which Mary Beth said, “Ace, I can’t deal with this shit.  I’ll handle Chris.  Go take a walk and cool off and I don’t want to see you around here until after he leaves.  We’ll still go out and party later, but I don’t want you here when he’s here because I don’t want either of you starting anything.  OK?”  So I took a walk down the street then came back.  Back and forth three times.  Voila, I wasn’t as pissy as before.

     Later, after I had walked around town a bit, people coming into the store would ask, “Why do you walk so much?”  And I would see a HUGE smile on Mary Beth’s face and we would almost both answer together in unison, Me, “Because I am hyperactive and I get cranky and walking helps me relax.” Mary Beth, “Because he is hyperactive and he gets cranky and walking helps him relax.”  But then Mary Beth went away to a university later and I would have to answer on my own since Mary Beth wasn’t around as much.

     By the end of 1987, I was just walking to the end of the business district in the city, back and forth to the grocery store, maybe two or three times a day.  A half hour each way roughly.  In 1988 I stretched my walk out further to about an hour each way to a grocery store near where Mary Beth lived, but several blocks from her house.  In 1989, I was walking the route I still walk to this day when I can.  The walk is about six and a half miles each way or about an hour and a half each way.  I would still get cranky, but not as cranky as before.

     I kind of talked to Mary Beth about my problems but I didn’t want to give her too many details.  I just didn’t want her to know the kind of life I had been living.  Not because she might disapprove, but because she seemed to have enough on her mind with college and all that coming up.  So I just tried to explain while keeping things short and not too many details.

     A while later Chris started working at the grocery store as well after Mary Beth went away to college.  When Chris started, people were actually making bets as to how long before Chris and I got into a fight and who would win that fight.  After a while, Chris and I talked and no fight or such.  We both realized it was a bunch of nonsense and not worth fighting over.

     Mary Beth came around at the right and wrong time for me.  I definitely had a lot of stuff to deal with at this time and so did Mary Beth with going away to college and all that.  But instead of dwelling on the problems and all that we just raised hell all the time and partied a lot.  We drank quite a bit as well.

     I guess time for some more stories.  Oh yeah, a decision made to kind of “crash” a party for someone’s sister that I graduated with.  I told Mary Beth that I knew the party thrower’s brother from school and graduated with him.  We “crashed” the party but instead of a commotion or such it was “Hey, long time no see, come on in.”  So we did for a little while anyway.  Before getting to the party, however, I was kind of joking around then I took my glasses off and said something like, “Do you think he’d recognize me looking like this?”  And then Mary Beth said something like, “Keep your glasses on.  I can’t be friends with you if you don’t because women can’t be friends with hunks.” or something to that effect.  So back on went the eyeglasses and the party crash went without any problems.  Shhh, but this was the friend’s house that I had rode the school bus to back in fourth or fifth grade and talked about riding a bus with the gentlemen I talked to in private back in seventh grade about possible school bus improvements, aka Greg and his sister Jill.  But until this night where I took my glasses off, Mary Beth had kind of been thinking that maybe I was making up stuff before about using women.  I wasn’t joking about having women throw themselves at me, but also, this was a rare time when I had heard any kind of anger in her voice.  I think she knew that I had been using women at this point, but she just didn’t know me to be that way.  A change of scenery and physical problems as well which I had told Mary Beth about but asked her to keep it a secret.

     Another side effect, I had gone from eight and a half down to seven inches.  Big deal to some but didn’t really bother me much.  Can’t use it, lose it.

     Earlier in the year, Mary Beth, Sue, Scott, and I were partying in the local park after hours and a swarm of cop cars came around us.  The cops were saying, “Get in the car.”  And Mary Beth said, “Don’t get in the cars.  I’ll handle this.”  And then Mary Beth started arguing with this one cop.  Next thing, we were all free to go.  I had said I was 19 but Mary Beth knew different but it worked.  Also, Mary Beth was babysitting for the one cop, so…  Stuff happens and the city had to clean the park pool out later because the beer cans got tossed.  Oops.

     More stuff happens.  And speaking of cars, the car I was driving now I had nicknamed “The Beast” because I drove it my last two semesters to college and I would start up the steep hill from a dead stop and be up to 70 mph in two blocks.  This sucker moved but was considered a “family car”.  It had a 45 watt stereo with a hundred watt booster.  The sound system cranked.  The original engine had some problems, so the crankshaft was reground and oversized bearings put in.  Turbo charged.  Someone later did an oil change and put regular oil instead of turbo oil and eventually one of the pistons broke through the block.  New engine and couldn’t get the same size so went to the next larger size but didn’t replace the radiator.  The Beast would overheat for some reason.  This was the car that I would drive Mary Beth on occasion from her college dorm back to the area we grew up in.

     Great story.  One time, I pulled over after the temp light came on in the car and I sat there a little while cussing out the car because it would not start.  I was banging on the dash saying, “Bad Beast, I oughta get rid of you and get a car that behaves better.  Bad Beast.  You let me down.  Come on Beast, you better start this time or I’ll take you to the junk yard where you belong.”  Still wouldn’t start.

     Then Mary Beth goes, “What’re ya doin’?”  And I said something like, “You gotta be mean to The Beast or it won’t listen and won’t start.”  Mary Beth then said something like, “That ain’t workin’ is it?  I’ll show ya how it’s done.”  Then Mary Beth starts petting the dashboard very nicely and calmly and she starts saying in a nice calm voice, “Nice Beast, Good Beast.  You’ll start for me won’t you.  You’re such a good beast.”  And then she said, “Now try it” and wouldn’t you know, it started right off and ran smoothly.  Next I said something like, “Beast, you traitor, you like her more than me don’t you?”  And Mary Beth giggled a bit (that kind of giggle like when someone gets tickled but doesn’t expect it type giggle).  I think I then said something like, “Maybe I need a shave and the Beast thinks you’re me.”  Nah, just a few more beers and a bunch more giggles.  It’s a rare person that can make you feel better when things go wrong.  Many times I’ve been rare, but Mary Beth seemed just as rare.  And being underaged on a university campus dorm room with a mini fridge chock full of beer was rare as well.  Sometimes it helps to have a better perspective and sometimes not.  That’s life.

     The really great part for me was that even though I was upset, Mary Beth was not afraid to put me in my place when needed.  I felt very comfortable around her and I hadn’t felt comfortable in many years.  Found out later too that she was Vince and Jeff K’s cousin from homeroom 403.  Pretty wild and crazy and that’s what we were.  Not too serious about things and just try and have a good time.  That was us.  Let everyone else be serious and cranky.

     But Mary Beth was away at college and I was driving around and hanging out at the local bars.  One night I came out of a bar and got into my car and it was wet out.  The brakes were not working and I used the emergency brake and kept my foot on the gas to keep the Beast running.  The light changed and I did a 360 while making a left turn and the Beast stalled out right in front of a cop.  Yup, DWI and it must have been fun for the cop because I hadn’t told him about the brakes being out when he moved my car from out of the middle of the road.  I lost my license in November and didn’t get it back for 10 years.

     But 1987 was the year that Mary Beth helped me get through a lot of things just by being there and being herself.  The year started and ended crappy but I had many great times.  After losing my license, Mary Beth drove me around instead.  Another foolish thing on my part, don’t take the anti-infection medication with alcohol.  About November I felt the infection had gone away and I felt different now.  Go back to what I had known for a few years or maybe a fresh start.  Either way, I started going back to what I had known but that’s something to ponder next year…

Subchapter XXV – 1988 – “Return to Normal, Whatever That Is”

     1988, and in January, the infection is gone.  My driver’s license is gone as well, well one of two left anyway.  Yeah, Mikey still had his license so to speak.  I am changing inside again and I don’t say it to her, but it keeps cycling through my head that “no woman can last eight hours”.  Later Mary Beth and I drive off to a secluded spot but things aren’t right between us.  She drops me off later and then at another time I hand Mary Beth a 34 page note of “walking papers” plus a piece of cardboard with my dick traced on it saying, “Happy Eatster”.  Hanging out together we were free, but as a couple it wouldn’t have worked for us at this time.  It wasn’t her, but it was me, and I felt Mary Beth could do better.

     Later Mary Beth met another guy named Joel and later married Joel in 1991.  In 1992, Mary Beth was driving after drinking and went off the road and lost Joel.  I haven’t talked to Mary Beth since 1991, but I did wave a couple times to her while on my walks.  But Mary Beth and Julie are the two that weren’t afraid or didn’t get mad when I might get angry.  But that’s life and this is supposed to be 1988, isn’t it?  But Mary Beth was adopted and Joel was adopted and Mary Beth loves him so much.  I tried not to get involved too much, but I was very happy for her but worried that she might lose that happiness and hit bottom like I had.  It’s great to care when someone’s there to care about but it sucks when they’re gone.  Stuff happens.

     In 1988, I’m still at the grocery store and cleaning the bakery and meat rooms as well as on occasion cleaning the floors.  At times the music in the store gets turned way up to try and drown out my yelling about what a mess the bakery is with dough stuck to the walls and all that.  I had quite a loud mouth.

     This leads to a story from last year and a story for this year.  In 1987 I had a week off work because the boss came around the corner and I threw a knife into the produce wall just missing the boss by about six inches.  There was a kind of wood cutting board on the wall and if I needed to leave the back room to go out front and wait on a customer, I would just throw the knife into the wood then pull it out after I got back.  But the story of my just missing the boss with a knife went all through the store so people were afraid to talk to me about my language and temper.  I worked at the store for four and a half years and I was told that the file folder on me was now 2 folders and about 400 pages or more.  Yeah, I was pretty mean, nasty, and obnoxious at times, but great with the customers.  That and working almost every day non-stop I guess was what really mattered.

     I also had a visit from one of the big bosses who started saying how bad my boss was, to which I replied, “He can’t be too bad if he hired me, can he?”  And the big boss said that the only other person who had left him tongue-tied was his wife and that I could call him, “Big John” whereas most others were only allowed to call him Mister ________.  My head boss wasn’t jealous, but another boss was jealous that would later be my night crew boss.  Oops, three stories I guess.  Two 1987, one 1988.

     After the DWI, I took the drinking driver courses and was sitting next to someone who had been drinking.  Worse yet, I had told the head of the class that I was just getting contacts and that my eyes might get red.  Poppycock and I was an alcoholic, blah, blah, blah…  So for the last few classes I made sure I had a few beers before class and I told the teacher where to stick his attitude.  The alcohol counselor was so full of himself and that was it for me, I’ll wait 10 years instead.

     But the big story was that one night I was just so pissed about stuff that I just started yelling stuff out loud about the cops, the program, and whatever else.  I was on the lower end of First Street.  On the upper end of First Street, literally one mile away; Cathy, the one that backed up eight and a half inches at school, called the cops about hearing yelling outside and held the phone up to her window so that the police could hear.  They heard and sent two officers to look for this yeller at Cathy’s house, a mile away.  No luck there but they heard yelling and rolled down the window and drove down the street to see where the yelling was coming from.  They found me a mile away and the officer driving asked me to keep it down.  The officer beside him said something like, “Well, ain’t you gonna give him a ticket?”  And the officer driving said something like, “You gotta be kidding.  Look at him.  Do you think the judge would believe that he could be heard a mile away?”  Then the officer kind of laughed about it with the other officer then drove away.  “Heard you a mile away” was supposed to be a joke, but that’s the way it goes when you ace things I guess.

     At the end of 1988, Mary Beth started working for the city, first as a lifeguard then during the winter at the skating rink.  We talked very little but she introduced me to Joel and all that, so it was pretty cool.  I was happy for her but I didn’t want to intrude or get caught in the middle of anything like with Chris before.  So it was short, sweet and to the point.  I missed her but I wanted us to get on with life without each other.  She honestly was better off with Joel and I was better off being the man of less than eight hours again.  I just couldn’t picture myself with her out in the woods somewhere trying to carry her to a toilet that couldn’t be found because she couldn’t use her muscles like all the other women I’d been with where I had to carry them to the bathroom afterwards.  It pays to think of others I guess.

     But in 1988 things calmed down a lot and got back to the same old like before.  I had to be driven to my appointments though, but I also had another name left and another license to drive under if needed.

     At the grocery store, I was cleaning the bakery and meat room at the grocery store and during the first week, I had caught pneumonia but I worked through it.  The first time I’d ever heard my bones rattle and felt like I could die.  I was literally shaking from the fever and popping pills around the clock.  Two pills every three and a half hours.  This lasted for about a week and was in the middle of the summer.  I survived but barely.  I was going from 130 degrees dry heat bakery to a 20 degree fairly moist meat room and playing in water at both places.  Oo, another thing.  Be careful mopping a floor at 20 degrees, water freezes at 32 degrees, so 20 degrees can lead to problems.

     But things were getting back to normal for me with no refunds, no returns, and no repeats.  Only one shot to last more than eight hours.  Too many women, not enough time and worried about a few of the women “getting hooked” and not letting anyone else try.  No repeats, madame’s orders.

     Yes, I did see the one I had played the joke on and she told me she had been drug tested three times at her college because she was so “out of it”.  She had also met a guy at a nearby school and I told her that with everything I have going on and the fact that I can’t have kids, she might want to settle down with this guy.  Really weird but later on we all three met and she told this guy that she’d marry him (he was rich too and came from a wealthy family) but ONLY if she could still see me “on the side”.  He agreed but they didn’t get married until about a year later.  She was a repeat but not an appointment or client.

     Speaking of madame, in my absence, she had gotten married to, of all people, her old boss.  She took over all the affairs, pardon the pun, and he became her kept man.  Honestly, her old boss cleaned himself up and my boss picked up some more business in the process.  A woman that’s been through it can relate better than any guy trying to just make as much money as possible.  They both were going to be moving south together and the business side went with them.  The appointments and such stayed up north with Alf, the driver, and I became just another employee with strict instructions of no more than three appointments a month and that’s that.  Non latex condoms became available but she was still worried that too much might end my career prematurely.

     1988 came to a close as things got back to normal for me.  Mary Beth was drifting out of the picture and I had met a new friend, Sherry, who was a bit older and such.  Remember, I can’t have kids and Mary Beth might be able to, so best to let her go, however possible, and let any feelings go.  Oddly, after letting Mary Beth go in 1988, I lose my memories of Julie.  I had totally forgotten about how I got my nickname and such.

     At work at the grocery store, a new guy, Dan, had started working at the store as a carry out.  Dan had a wife and kids and was working three jobs to support them.  You wouldn’t have known because Dan never seemed tired or exhausted at the grocery store.  Anyway, I gladly handed over my “speed king” crown to Dan at the store.  Things had slowed down, and even though I still put on a show of packing groceries behind my back at the same rate and faster than the others, I had slowed down some as well after Mary Beth left.  After about five months, Dan fell asleep behind the wheel of his car and crashed into a dump truck leaving behind a widow with children.  Stuff happens.

    Also, Adrian (Zeke) had passed away in 1986 and his wife, Eleanor, passed away this year in 1988 leaving my father, Adrian Jr. (Bud) as an orphan as he put it.  At my grandfather’s funeral in 1986, my oldest aunt, Barb, who had constantly argued with my grandfather was crying.  My youngest aunt on my father’s side, Kim, pipes up and says something like, “You didn’t give a shit about him when he was alive, what are you blubberin’ about him now for?”  Some people just have a way with words.

     My cousin, Carla, and her boyfriend, Frank, had been living in the house with my grandmother.  A mess ensued and in the will it had stated if they paid the bills, my cousin Carla could stay there indefinitely.  Bills weren’t paid and an eviction ensued.  After the eviction the family went to sell the house and it was left a complete mess.  Dirty diapers tossed all over, holes in the walls, the basement was full of sewer water, and on and on.  It was a disaster.  While cleaning up, my cousin Carla’s boyfriend, Frank, kept circling the house trying to cause a fight I guess.  Frank and his friend, Terry, were too chicken though and just kept circling around the house until the cops came by.  Meanwhile, inside the house, my cousin, Rebecca (Carla’s sister), and a few of the younger kids were inside helping clean up.  I was outside making sure Frank didn’t come on the property or such.  Frank was a nutcase and Carla was no better anymore.  At this time, My other cousin Rebecca had changed her ways and was no longer egocentric.  I guess trying times can bring out the worst in some and the best in others.  You never know.

     A friend, Sherry, had got a divorce and was trying to adjust to trying to support three kids on her own.  The divorce was fairly recent and pretty final.  After what had happened, Sherry could never go back to her now ex-husband.  It wasn’t a beating or like that, she just couldn’t trust her ex-husband around her eldest daughter.  She could trust her eldest daughter but not her ex-husband.  That was that.  She was done with him as much as possible.

     Sherry had problems with her son but not too many with her two daughters.  Her son blamed his mom for the divorce because of stuff his dad was telling him that wasn’t true.  His father couldn’t be honest and admit to his son what had really happened and his eldest sister surely wasn’t going to tell her brother either.  Sherry could not trust her husband any more after her oldest daughter had told what her father had tried to do to her.  That was that.  A divorce followed shortly after Sherry found out and Sherry wanted as little to do with her now ex-husband as possible.  But bluntly, Sherry had had a total hysterectomy and all the muscles and such were gone.  Her husband wanted anal sex which Sherry was totally against and their eldest daughter was just starting puberty.  Needless to say, her ex couldn’t get what he wanted from Sherry so he tried to get with their daughter.  Very devastating.  That sure ain’t love.

     But also, a total hysterectomy is where the term for guys of “nail a board across your ass so you don’t fall in” came from.  There are no muscles there, which is awkward and nailing a board across your ass is about the best way to describe it.

     Sherry relied on a friend, Tom, who had passed away recently, to help her through the divorce.  Sherry and I talked quite a bit and I helped her at times study for her college classes in Life Science, and Psychiatry mostly.  We also talked about life in general but I never told her about stuff I was doing outside the area.  I was definitely trying to help out, but I was a mess myself at this time.

     Wild story here.  Sherry and I walk into a bar together and at this time, until 1993, I wore contacts.  Anyway, we walk into the bar together and a woman walks up and says something like, “Hey, you two make a great couple.” And we both say almost in unison, “Nah, we’re just good friends.”  And the girl responds back something like, “Honey, let me show you what to do with your friend.”  And then she lays a big kiss on me.  Afterwards I finish with, “Yeah, my sister used to babysit for her.”  Sherry and I both almost started cracking up laughing and it was pretty awkward but worked out alright.  The other thing, um, kissing is a sign of affection, HOOKERS DO NOT KISS!  Very awkward because I was one cold fish let me tell you.

     But I remember this year mostly for getting contacts and drifting away from Mary Beth because Mary Beth knew that without glasses I was a hunk and a hunk is good for only one thing with a girl or woman.  And almost all women think about nothing but sex around a hunk.  That’s problems and I know that as Mikey and all the stuff I was going through there.

     Also, this was the year that I developed my “walking guy” image around the area I grew up in and the area where I was known as Ace.  While walking, I would get a rash in my armpit from the shirt rubbing the wrong way and getting sweaty in the heat.  I took some old, worn out shirts and cut the sleeves off, so a collared type polo shirt with the sleeves cut off.  Also, pants are a bit bulky, and rub as well, especially when wet in the rain.  So I cut off some old jeans and a pair of corduroys and I turned them into shorts.  There was no part in my blondish hair that was combed straight back.  A nice tan from walking plus my savage skin color to begin with.  I was definitely a sight to behold and very unique.  Bulking up a bit from carrying women to the bathroom didn’t hurt either.  Women whistle, walk into things, howl, scream, you name it.  Hunk city.  As bare as you dare with a nice derriere in public.  That was Ace.  As Mikey, still all class and flash and dressed in white head to toe with the gold chain and golden tooth.  No refunds.

Subchapter XXVI – 1989 – “The Heck with the Past, Keep Moving Forward”

     1989, definitely a different year for me.  Things get stale.  Try something else.  As Mikey, still same old, nothing new here.  As Ace, well, working during the days, 7 days a week, cleaning the bakery and meat room.

     Another very large store opens up in the area.  They nearly go bankrupt and almost bail out when our grocery boss gets the clever idea of letting the shelves run empty so that it is easier to replace the floor tiles.  A grocery business without groceries, how clever.  We lose most of our customers because they have to go to the other store or else starve after a month of letting our shelves run empty.  That is how bad it is in the store.  Three weeks and more without any new stock on the shelves.  The busiest place in the area is nearly empty and the competitor’s store, that nearly went bankrupt, is starting to thrive.

     Next year I would start working nights for this rocket scientist that wonders why we are losing customers while not having anything on the shelves to sell.  Great plan for the competition and the customer base starts dramatically falling off.  After the floors get done, most of the customers slowly return, but only to pick up odds and ends.  Gone are most of the three and four cartload customers.

     Another brilliant move.  Let’s put baby food on the aisle next to the pet food so that most women with children feel nauseous from the smell of pet food.  I do not like the grocery manager.  I can see now why “Big John” only allows a few people to call him Big John.  Towards the end of the year, I start cleaning the floors more at night with the grocery boss.

     Also this year, I start seeing Rosemary as a girlfriend.  She has three kids:  Marie, 10, Roberta, 12, and Paula, 15.  I think I started seeing Rosemary in May and by December she was crying to me and asking me to move in with her.  I think I stalled her off until around May of 1990.

     Speaking of December, just after my birthday, my parents sent me out west for a week to stay with my sister and brother-in-law.  I went to New Mexico, Arizona, California, and crossed the border slightly into Mexico.  Was definitely a different experience.

     On the way out was a plane changeover in New Mexico.  The bartender there was pretty cool and it was a couple hours between flights and no one else really around.  We were doing voices back and forth and he said he was hoping at the time to get a part in an upcoming sequel movie.  He also talked about how he liked to draw and that he was thinking about a possible career in animation or such.

     He had a sketch book, but I wasn’t much into drawing, but he had a cool drawing of a teenage looking boy with a cigarette out of his mouth.  I said something like, “I usually draw stuff like planes dive bombing people and add horns, mustaches, and the like to the pictures.”  I then said something like, “Animation is rough, drawing a zillion copies of the same thing with just the arm moving is a pain.  Lining up all that stuff.”

     His name, I believe, was Mike, and he said his boss was pretty strict about not being personal with the customers, but no one was really around so what the hay.  We started doing voices back and forth with different accents and such.  I remember saying something like, “Ever notice how southerners always seem to have an answer for everything.”  Then I said something like, “Me and my boss that I used to work for when selling insurance, used to go around…”, then I continued in a southern accent, “Two sticks o’ diney mite, that’ll cure all yer problems.  Got a plugged turlet, take two sticks o’ diney mite.  Yer wife won’t stay faithful, two sticks o’ diney mite.  Solves all yer problems yessiree.  Tired o’ that ol’ drafty house, two sticks o’ diney mite.”  And then he came back with a southern accent of his own and, “Wha’cha need boy is a good ol’ butane regulator.  That’ll solve all yer problems.”

     Then I said something like, “My german accent is crappy because I can’t roll the R’s that well but here goes…”, then I continued on with a crappy german accent, “Und now here’s ______ wit his teory o’ relativity.”  Next I changed to a spanish / mexican accent and came out with, “Hey gringo, wanna fuck my seester? Five dollar, no hollar.”  That one definitely sent Mike back a little.  Mike then said he wasn’t much into ethnic jokes and that his mother came from another country illegally I think.  But yeah, that was a little too much from a guy you don’t really know named Ace.  But that’s me, always going over the edge.

     It was after this that I think I did some more hispanic talking using one of my aliases that I used back in tenth or eleventh grade.  Sorry I can’t name the alias here because it was derived from the city I grew up in.  I just kind of went “hyperactive” for a little bit and went on and on about how great I was and how well I always tried to look after my people.  Before I started I introduced this long skit saying something like, “I used to do this kind of stuff in school.  I pull my shirt up over my mouth, bandito style, and…”  And then I went into my act.  It went something like, “I am The Great [Censored].  I need [blank].  [Blank] for my [edited].”  Then normal voice, “[blank] means [blanket] paper.”  Then bandito voice again, “My people they have been without [blank].  Do not make my [edited] angry.  You must bow down to The Almighty [Edited]…”

     I think I also did some Confusionisms with a chinese accent like, “Man must be wise like potato chip” and the classic, “He who hesitay mus’ pause” and probably a couple others maybe even “luck suck fuck duck.  Rife nah orrays av lime or leazon.”  We went back and forth killing a couple hours then it was getting time to take flight so I think I said something like, “Hey, it’s been one of the greatest times I’ve ever had but I gotta plane to catch.  I wouldn’t wanna spend the rest of my life as a couch potato and there’s a whole world out there to see.  Hope you don’t get in trouble with the boss.”  And then he said something like, “I’ll be alright.  You’d probably better get going.  Yeah, I had a great time too” or something like that.  And I think I finished with, “Break a leg cuz it’s bad luck to wish someone good luck or whatever.  Have a good one.”

     And that was the beginning of my “Wild West” experience.  I walked around in Arizona like back in New York.  It was 65 and cold out for most people and here I am in cut-offs and a shirt.  Oh well.  In Arizona, it was 20 degrees and snowing when I left New York.  I wasn’t cold despite some thinking I may be crazy.  Me, crazy?  Wild too, I imagine.  I was having a blast on my vacation to possibly help my sister and new brother-in-law move back to New York.  Later, my sister took me and showed me the place where she and my brother-in-law first lived after they got married.

     Then we went to a local mall out there and I picked up a set of speakers for my portable cassette player that I used on my walks and a couple music cassettes as well.  I also picked up a fake sheriff’s badge for my dad which later caused concern at the airport on my way back to New York because the badge looked like a japanese “throwing star” in the bag x-ray.  Such amusement on a one week vacation.

     While out there my brother-in-law took me to a shooting range.  The guy at the range asked if I might want to try his 44 magnum seeing as how I was from New York and all.  If they only knew.  While training back in 1985/1986 I shot and cleaned 45’s, 9 mm’s, an M-16, an M-60, 30 aught 6, AK-47 and numerous other rifles and pistols.  The guy I trained from, 1985 to 1986, had smuggled out an M-60 and had the barrel chrome-plated because it was his favorite and mine as well (but a real pain to clean, believe me).  20 years of replacement parts.  So a 44 mag autoload, no prob.  I took the gun and he said he couldn’t get any .44 shells but some .38 shells would work.  Next, the guy said that the revolver had been in a fire and the sights were probably off.  I looked down the barrel and noticed it was slightly warped down and to the right.  I loaded it up with six shots and on the first shot, I nicked the holding wire for the target on the right side at about 30 feet and scared the living daylights out of the owner.  I hit what I was aiming for but I think the owner thought I was aiming for the bulls-eye.  Guns are supposed to be serious and my brother-in-law was in the navy and all that.  I should have done a smiley face or such but I figured that might be overkill at this point.  Besides, the 44 had melted in the barrel a little and wasn’t that accurate.  38 ammo in a 44, yeah, it was that bad in the barrel.  It had definitely been in a fire and although the barrel could have been reworked, not worth it.  A gun is not a toy but it was funny scaring the crap out of the guy when I shot the target holding wire.  Top that with a warped 44.

     I had a great time at the movie making capitol of the world out in California, as well, and they were probably glad / sad (circle one) to see me leave.  I was full of it and me, my sister, my brother-in-law, and a friend of my sister and brother-in-law’s got there just after the entry gate for the day closed.  My sister was getting all pissy and I was like “no big deal”.  They let us in anyway after my sister said I had flown in from New York.  We went over to a movie re-enactment and it was the only time they had a technical glitch with the sound system, so the actors on stage ad-libbed and it was great.  Afterwards, I saw a couple of the main actors come out the back and I heard the lead actor say something like, “The first time the sound ever failed.”  He was the lead actor that was muscle-bound and all that and then he pointed over towards me and said something like, “I wish I’d looked more like him so that I got better acting roles than these grunt movies.  He probably gets all the girls because my trainer won’t allow me an hour out of my training schedule and my trainer doesn’t want me to take a chance on pulling a muscle.” Or something to that effect.  He was right on the money though and that’s why I’ve never wanted to be a muscle builder or weight trainer or such.  Overbuilding and straining just isn’t for me.  Overworked muscles and overworked tendons and bones tend to snap under the strain.  Everything has its price.

     Later on came an actual film shoot for an upcoming movie sequel.  Live, on location.  A very recognizable (but not THE recognizable) actor was on the set and it was a very intricate scene with a lot of different parts that could go wrong.  Not much dialogue but lots of movement with many different people doing different tasks.  Meanwhile, we were being held captive behind the wall to separate us from the scene.  After a little prodding, and the person in charge probably getting tired of my funny and silly comments, the lady let me and someone else jump the wall and roam around the park some more so that maybe, just maybe, the scene could get shot without someone in the background making a comment like, “I hope nobody has to fart because with all the activity going on in this scene, anyone farting would just ruin it and they’d have to shoot it over and over again.  Gee I hope no one has to fart.”  Then would come, “Quiet on the set…”  Then “Take Two, Take Three…” from the lady in charge.

     My being in a leather jacket with Ace written on the back in chains didn’t help either.  How come I always seem to stand out in a crowd anyway?

     Me and the other gate jumper left the area and wandered around.  Later, I did see the movie with the scene in it where no one farted, but then again, I don’t remember anyone ever farting in that scene when we were there.  Some people worry about the wrong things I guess.  I should have been more worried about the recognizable actor forgetting his lines at times which I guess could be just as funny as if someone had farted and ruined the take.  Oh well.  I came; I saw; we left with the giggles.  Really.  There were a lot of people in this scene, and even though they didn’t, anyone, including non actors, could have farted and ruined the scene.  This scene actually started the beginning of the movie too.  I saw it.  Honest, I was there and no one farted that I know of.  Who starts these rumors anyway?

     But 1989 was a year when I said to heck with the past, just keep moving.  I started out talking to Michelle and Sonya that lived across from Rosemary.  Next I was with Rosemary and it wasn’t long before we weren’t just friends anymore.

     I was walking around as well and very, very dark-skinned and light-haired.  In September, I walk into a hustling, bustling pizza place in the area full of about 75 people all talking away.  I walk in with my mother.  Dead silence and everyone staring.  My mother’s like, “Everyone’s staring” and I was like, “No biggie, you get used to it.”  And I was.  Whistles, hoots, stares, as well as others that pretended they weren’t staring while walking into walls and such.  I always tried to avoid getting attention, but I didn’t get bothered too much and most were speechless anyway.  I’m unique.  That’s for sure.

     But I was with Rosemary this year, well, Mikey stuff as well.  Rosemary was a well-known “flirt” at the time but times were changing.  While out with her sister, Cathy, Rosemary nearly decked a guy for trying to pick her up at a bar.  Rosemary had always liked getting attention from guys but now she just wanted me.  Rosemary started bawling to me because she felt lost because she wasn’t used to not looking for another guy while with a guy.  I wasn’t used to anything steady either.  Different times for both of us.

     Later I found out that Rosemary used to tell her kids to get lost and find somewhere else to go when she had me over.  It wasn’t a fight or such but I said that she didn’t need to kick the kids out and that there’d be times we could be alone because the kids would take off on their own sooner or later anyway.  Her oldest daughter, Paula, and youngest daughter, Marie, always went to their friends and such.  Roberta, the one in the middle, was more of a homebody and liked being in one place.  Problem was that Roberta was also sneaky at times as well.  I trusted Paula and Marie for the most part but not Roberta.  But hey, Roberta didn’t trust me either, so…  But also, they were Rosemary’s kids and for the most part, I let Rosemary deal with that.

     A weird thing as well, a friend of Paula’s, Brandy, seemed to be Rosemary’s best friend as well as Paula’s best friend.  A little bit of tension there.  More than a few times Paula accused her mother of taking her friends.  When Brandy wanted a “grown up” to talk to, she went to Paula’s mom, Rosemary.  And in turn, Rosemary would kind of talk with Brandy about stuff as well.  Brandy would hang around Paula and Marie was friends with Brandy’s sister, Tiffany.  Roberta kind of stuck around the house a lot anyway.  But also Roberta would at times hang around with her cousin, Cathy’s daughter, Shannon.  But many times Roberta would act up as well.  Shannon was an only child but would many times rather be around Marie because Roberta might act up.  I tried to work with Roberta but she was entering her teen years and didn’t want to listen anyway.

     Another problem, because of working at the grocery store, I knew a lot of kids that went to school with Paula, Roberta, and Marie.  Oops, and there was twelve years between Rosemary and me and about nine and a half years in age between me and her oldest daughter, Paula.  But even though in the middle, Roberta was still reluctant to listen to me or anyone else for that matter.  Roberta always seemed to spend her time scheming up things and when her schemes fell flat, Roberta would get really upset.  I didn’t hate Roberta, truthfully; I did hate Roberta’s sneaky scheming though as did many others.  It was a phase that I kept hoping Roberta would grow out of and the sooner the better.

     Paula and Marie picked up on, “even if someone else does something bad, that doesn’t mean you have to do it too and if someone wants you to keep doing bad stuff, there’s always someone better out there.”  Paula was a bit skeptical, but she understood.  Roberta understood but fought tooth and nail against saying she could do anything wrong.  Denial is an ugly beast and a river in Egypt, and after a while I referred to Roberta as “Satan Incarnate” because Roberta’s denial was that bad.

     But that’s alright, Roberta’s mental health counselor kept feeling that Roberta should be in denial.  Not a good thing.  Problems upon problems but for 1989, Roberta didn’t know me that well so very few problems between us.

     A year of change and another change at the grocery store as well.  Another person started working at the store with the nickname Ace as well.  I went from just “Ace” to “The Ace Man”.  So “Hey Ace” or “Hey, Ace Man” it worked.  I had a black leather jacket now with a seven foot chain sewn in the back and my name in signature form spelled out in on the back of this jacket.  The leather jacket is black and without a collar.

     I move away from trying to deal with Julie and the past and just start doing stuff again without too much thought about it.  She’s 37 and three kids.  I’m 25 and can’t have kids.  Who knows?  Eldest father, Rosemary divorced and had nothing to do with her – then died later.  Middle daughter – father suicide.  Youngest daughter, could be one of three or four – none around.  Rosemary has quite a few ex-boyfriends but no prob there either.  So three daughters that haven’t really had a dad so why not?  Hey, a new decade coming up.

Subchapter XXVII – 1990 – “Another New Decade but Nothing New”

     1990, I slowed things down greatly as Mikey because with all the other things going on as me, Ace, I can’t sneak away easily like before.  Maybe I’m not ready to settle down, maybe I am.  Wait and see.

     Paula had some problems this year and is afraid to tell me but I figured it out anyway yet I never told her or Rosemary that I knew.  I moved in with Rosemary and the kids in a place that was just around the corner from where I lived until age 16.  Something else odd, Rosemary’s brother, Marty, lives upstairs in the apartment above where I grew up.  Even more odd, Rosemary’s father played a few times in the band my father used to play in.  I believe Rosemary, herself, sang a couple times with the band as well.  Roberta is still her unlovable self and Marie is hanging around a girl named Carrie.

     In 1990, I started working the night shift at first as a floor cleaner then gradually moved to stocking shelves at the grocery store.  My walking around nearly stops and my time is very limited.  But Rosemary’s oldest daughter has a terrible year this year and Paula starts staying with her aunt Cathy a lot after this year.  Things happen but a pretty uneventful year.  To be expected when you “settle down” or try anyway.

Subchapter XXVIII – 1991 Part I – “Insomniac Extreme”

     1991, a year where I averaged an hour of sleep a night.  Three different times I went 10 days without any sleep.  By August, so much stuff was going on that I took another vacation from being Mikey.  Rosemary and I also moved to a less expensive place near the middle school I attended.  The apartment was a lot less expensive to live in.

     Paula was out of the house and talking about wanting to be a stripper because she met a new friend, named Paula too, that was a stripper at a local bar.  I pretty much told Paula to do what she felt she needed to do and if she wanted help, let me know.  It’s Paula’s life and she’s the one that needs to live her life without worrying about what others may say or think.  I also tell Paula that most strippers don’t move their feet too much on stage or whatever.  There wasn’t a shock factor or anything, but Paula has to be Paula and stripping could be the best or worst thing.  Either way Paula has to be the one to decide and live with her decision.

     I’m worse than a stripper but maybe better I don’t really know or care.  Stripping is for show, hooking is doing.  Both deal with sex but in a different way.  Stripping is visual, hooking (whoring around) is actual.  But you never know until you either do or don’t do.  Until things happen or don’t happen it is just talk.  Anything that happened and Paula would have to be the one to have to go through it, not me, her aunt Cathy, or her mom, Rosemary.  Just Paula.

     For Roberta, “Ace, I’m getting boobs.  Mom I’m getting boobs.”  I’m not Roberta’s real dad but this is one of those “dad” moments for sure.  Around May or June, Marie and Carrie are crossing the highway and Marie runs into the side of an out of town school bus.  Marie is kind of in and out of it after the accident but they put phenolthalene in her IV and Marie is put into a coma for about three months at a local hospital.

     So much for sleep this year.  Working nights, hospital days.  On and on…  Marie comes out of the coma after they go from the phenolthalene IV (pink) back to a plain IV (clear).  After coming out of the coma Marie goes to a place in Florida at New York State’s expense.  Cost is about two million dollars and I see a type of bill at one time with a dollar figure like 1,877,… in it.  When Marie went to New Jersey, Rosemary and Roberta decided they would go see Marie so I gave them some cash to go with what she had and told Rosemary I would watch the house and such.

     In 1991 I also saw Mary Beth and Joel at the grocery store and they seemed happy together.  Also, Sherry called once and Rosemary got pissed off because I went over to Sherry’s apartment after Sherry had some guy that kept driving by Sherry’s place and wouldn’t leave her alone.  I went over to Sherry’s place, the guy came around; the cops were called and they took the guy away while the guy was saying, “I’m gonna get you Ace.”  No idea who this guy is but the cops grab him and take him away and I stay around just in case.  I wanted to go outside and take care of this guy but Sherry insisted I stay inside so I did.  A lot of serious stuff happens this year and Rosemary and I are coming apart at the seems.  As you can tell, I’m not one for being too serious.  Life is life and what happens happens.  A lot happened.

Subchapter XXIX – Reflections – “Mid Life or Middle of the Book Crisis?”

     Time to pause for a brief bit and reflect.  Life is full of memories, some good, some bad, some indifferent, some get lost, or get found, or may get twisted in the lost and found department.  Is this my entire life story, no.  These are some, but not all, of what I consider major events.

     Thinking back, people used to be referred to as “hot shots” and “superstars” when I was growing up.  About the time of the IQ test and such, hot shots and superstars became “aces”.  It just happened, no idea why.  I joke around and try to take credit, but who knows really?  Some stuff just happens for one reason or another or no reason at all.  Would you rather be a hot shot, superstar, Ace, or yourself?  I am Ace but also Mikey and a few others as well.  What’s in a name?  Names are an identity like the identity of Captain John Pocahontas Smith which existed in my mind and was a name I used in high school on a couple homework assignments that didn’t get turned in anyway.

     I was tired of all this ace stuff even before it started.  A person is still that person regardless of what name is used and a rose by any other name still gets flattened under a lot of weight.  It is not just what we make of it, but what others make of it as well.  What has value to one may be worthless to another.  But it is good not to neglect minor events as well like going to sleep, eating, and waking up and such.

     1991, I had very little sleep but most other years were fine.  And on this vein, in eighth grade, Albert’s roommate never said “assholes” or such, but I drew a conclusion based on what was said to what I had known that I did.  I fused things together which causes confusion and rumors and such.  Life has many sides.  Middle, left, right, beginning, end, middle, high, low, big, small, middle.  Things are what they are.  Most people remember high, low, left, right and tend to forget about the middle.  That is life.

     And what about the high school senior trip in 1983.  It rained.  A few of us smoked some weed in the bathroom and then we went on rides.  On senior trip day most wear white.  This led to another tradition, every year it seems one of the girls would forget to wear a pad and have an accident.  Poor Colleen.  Stuff happens.

     But our senior trip was to an amusement park and we smuggled in some brewskis and some wacky weed despite being told we’d be searched and all that.  The people change from year to year but still tradition carries on.

     Mid life crisis or middle of a book crisis.  Regardless, stuff happens and who knows really.  Just go with what you got I guess.  Always someone making a big production.  Why not make a big reproduction and call it an orgy or such?  Yeah, that might work.

Subchapter XXX – 1991 Part II – “Insomnia Continued”

     Enough clowning around, back to business again and 1991 continued…  And what a continuation.  Anyway, I was moved to the night stocking crew at the grocery store.  I fit right in with the crew itself, the night boss was an earlier story.  There was Dave, Ray (Animal), Tim (day crew boss), Louie, and a few others as well.

     First night crew story involves the store’s PA system.  I set the headphones of the cassette player, that I used for walking, onto the cash register microphone and then I taped the microphone button on.  Instant muzak.  What did we listen to?  A comedy tape of all things because it was an hour each side, which coincided with our breaks.  We tried regular music a few times but it was just one of those things where we got used to the comedy tape so much that we had our night timed to the tape.  When certain parts came up we knew we had so long to get stuff done before next break and flipping the tape over.

     Another story, we had our breaks in the basement and we were allowed to smoke down there.  Some smart ass, me namely, had a wicked idea.  One night I went downstairs for break and I had bought a cap gun earlier and hid it.  While sitting down in the break room someone mentioned that they thought the basement was haunted.  I played off that story and made a story up about how the store was built over a place where a grizzled old prospector and his brother used to live together.  One day the grizzled prospector came home and told his brother, “I found gold” so the brother shot [cap gun goes off] him.  I never saw such a room filled with guys in soiled underwear in my life.  After that if it got too quiet at night, you could occasionally hear a cap gun go off in one of the store aisles and then hear some stock hit the floor.

     At another time, oddly when I wasn’t there, the head boss caught members of the crew peeing along the yellow lines in the parking lot.  I guess it was done to make sure the lines stayed yellow longer.

     On yet another night, several of us had got some beer earlier for after work.  It was a late night, so after we were done we took the beer across the street by the cemetery.  About 8 in the morning and the rest had left except Dave and me.  Dave was like, “I’ll take a short nap.”  And I said something like, “Don’t worry, I’ll wake you up.”  So Dave took a nap and at about 10:30, I close my eyes.

     About 2:30 in the afternoon and I wake up to see a cop getting ready to poke at Dave or me with a stick.  The cop said something like, “Sorry, just seeing if you were alright.  You had me worried that I may have to fill out a report about two dead guys in the cemetery.  Glad you’re alright.”  Yeah, Dave and I had laid down next to a couple tombstones in the cemetery and gave a new meaning to the phrase “dead drunk.”

     But imagine if the officer had to make a report and said, “Went to the cemetery and found two dead guys.”  To which the other officers would have said, “You went into a cemetery and only saw two dead guys, are you blind?”.  Even wilder, “Went to cemetery and no one was dead.”.  Mostest wildest, “Went to cemetery and before I could poke them with a stick, I saw two drunks rise from a grave., grab their beer, then walk away”.

      Another story that occurred after work involving Tim and a bar.  There was a night where I had to go to court the next day but I went to the bar with Tim and Louie after work.  I was drinking just regular cola but I decided to ham it up a bit.  Well, a lot really…  I was weaving around in the chair and even kind of staggered and swayed to and from the bathroom a couple times.  I was slurring my speech and leaning over onto “Timmy, ol’ buddy ol’ pal [hiccup]”  “Yoush my beshest fren ever ol’ buddy ol’ pal [hiccup]”.  I hammed it up with the bartender who knew I was just drinking regular cola and I would order, “Sraigh’ cola on da rockses eses…”  “Ol’ bartenner ol’ buddy ol’ pal [hiccup]”.  A guy down at the end of the bar got real concerned and he asked, “Is he alright?  You probably shouldn’t serve him anymore.”  And the bartender and Tim both said, “He’s fine.  He’s alright.”  And both Tim and the bartender laughed a bit at this guy.  This guy was getting really concerned and I asked for another and the guy spoke up again and said something like, “You really shouldn’t serve him anymore and should get him coffee or something.”  This guy was getting really upset too.  So next thing I do is say with a straight face, “Honest, I’m fine.  I’ve just been drinking straight cola all night because I have court in the morning.”  This guy’s face dropped and we all kind of busted out laughing.  This guy was so worried and I was so sober.  The most drunkest I never got.

     On yet another night, a bunch of us piled into Ray’s car and went to see a local band that Chris, on the night crew, used to be a roadie and played bass a couple times with.  We got there and came to what looked like a shallow puddle in the parking lot.  The puddle was maybe ten feet around and looked safe enough to drive across.  Yup, ten feet around and three feet deep.  The front end of the car sunk right into the water and the car stalled.  Water was up to the windows (almost) on the front doors.  We were sunk.  Just a little puddle was all.  Not hardly.  We went into the bar soaked and watched the band and what a story we had to tell, but seems like everyone knew who we were because they saw us soaked inside after seeing the half sunk car outside.  How did they guess anyway?  A guy with a tow chain and a monster type truck pulled us out after a while.  A night to remember and sing about in the black submarine.

     And why not plan Christmas Eve with a night of drinking by the crew that starts at 5 am, after getting out of work, until we pass out or run out of money.  At 6 pm, Ray and I ran out of money.  The others had all had enough and left at 6 pm, Ray and I looked at each other and realized that after 13 hours of straight drinking we had drunk ourselves sober.  Neither of us even had a buzz going.

     With Rosemary, first, I had taken a leave of absence for a while as Mikey which lasted until mid 1992.  Second, after an incident at the house, Roberta had been put on PINS (Person In Need of Supervision).  Roberta acted up and a cop came to the house, but before knocking on the door, the cop heard what was going on inside.  Roberta was screaming bloody murder in one corner of the room, Rosemary was over by the door in another part of the room and I was in another room entirely.  Yet another one of Roberta’s fits to try and start trouble.  Even better, I realized that the PINS lady and the psychiatrist started seeing Roberta and even after what the cop had said, these nutcases were out to try and prove Roberta right.  It got ridiculous in a hurry.  I got pissed at the psychiatrist as well because after I asked Roberta to be honest, the nutcase shrink then said that Roberta didn’t need to be honest.  I blew up.  And I will still say to this day to ANYONE, “How the fuck can you honestly help someone without being honest?”  That was it for me and the nutcase shrink.  Roberta had admitted that she lied and this nutcase shrink was still trying to say the lie was true.  And the point of this is?  The shrink is a nutcase.

     At this time as well, I take a board game and allow Roberta to show that she can read.  I had noticed that Roberta had been trying to fool people into thinking she wasn’t as smart as she was.  Roberta was no genius, but she wasn’t stupid either nor ignorant.  Just misguided.  I noticed that it was all a game of Roberta’s to try to catch people off guard into thinking that she was too stupid and incapable of scheming things up.  Roberta was a faker beyond belief and she had started admitting it to me.  At the same time I knew she was still playing games on people.  I asked Roberta to stop before it was too late.  Roberta didn’t.

     Too late.  Rosemary and I broke up in the middle of 1992 and that was that.  In the scheme of things, Roberta had tried to kick me in the groin but missed.  In a knee jerk type reaction my arm came around to knock Roberta’s head completely off for what she had been doing but just before it would have happened I took the strength from my arm and instead just barely put my hand up against Roberta’s chin.  A handshake has a lot more strength to it than that.  Anyway, Roberta, as usual, overreacted and that was that.

     To note, Roberta had her own son in 1997 or 1998 and another after that.  After having her own kids, I know that Roberta knows what she did was wrong.  Roberta had to find out later on though because now Roberta realizes that her kids don’t really have anyone steady to know as “grampa” now.  But for Roberta, it’s mom and dad not gramma and grampa that really matter anyway.  If Roberta does her stunts now, she hurts her husband and her kids.  That is growing up.  Accepting responsibility and all that.  I am still probably the closest thing that Roberta ever had to being a dad.  I am not her real dad though.

     But also, the breakup between Rosemary and I was never Roberta’s fault anyway.  Just don’t let her know that or she may change for the worst again.  Rosemary and I had just started to annoy one another and it was getting worst and worst.  We were just plain fighting all the time anymore about anything and everything.  It had fallen apart and we were both just plain tired of fighting with people.  We were now fighting amongst ourselves as well.  That was what really ended it.  Rosemary and I just could not get along anymore in the middle of 1992.

Subchapter XXXI – 1992 – “Breaking Apart for the Better”

     Speaking of 1992…  So you heard that Rosemary and I split up.  True.  Rosemary’s youngest daughter, Marie, was there before to keep Rosemary and I from fighting.  Marie was now far away at distant hospitals and Rosemary and I were arguing almost constantly now.  That was that.  Around May / June 1992, Rosemary and I just could not stand one another.  It was over and I moved out back to my parents.  Well, between my parents and being Mikey again anyway.  I started walking and running off at night again.  I lost the grocery job in late January and I kind of drifted off after that.

     1992 was a return to same old stuff for me.  Losing the grocery job reduced a lot of stress for me.  The head boss was alright but the night crew boss was a royal pain to work for.  I was glad not to be working for him anymore.  Dave, half dead drunk, on the night crew was not an old person but had left before me because of a heart attack.  I think Ray left in the middle of 1992 and Chris found a better job.  Tim was a boss but left the company after being with the company for decades in 1995.  The store just fell apart and closed the doors around 2001.  Big John passed away in mid 1992 as well.

Subchapter XXXII – 1993 – “Nothing Could Be Better”

     1993.  No job.  Walk, walk, walk.  During the year I ripped the tendon in back of my right leg.  Walking slowed down a bit.  I ripped the tendon carrying out a solid cherry chest (over 200 pounds) by myself up a flight of steps.  This was also the last year I wore contacts lenses as Ace after the one lens ripped and had a hole in it.  Also, during this time, Julie’s sister was around the area.  Julie had a little sister that was about 9 years younger and Julie thought of her name.  Very unique and original name too.

     About the only story for this year was the Hunk-O-Gram story which is pretty cool.  While walking, a woman came up to me and asked to talk about something so we did.  She had a daughter that would be turning 18 shortly but she said her daughter was always too fussy because of her father.  She was wondering if I’d be willing to do something to maybe help her daughter stop being so fussy.  She had noticed her daughter look at me several times and that kind of gave her an idea.  We both came up with an idea for a “Hunk-O-Gram” and decided kind of what to do.  On her daughter’s 18th birthday I showed up in my cut off jeans and sleeveless polo shirt with a department store shopping bag behind me.  I recited a kind of poem that me and her mom had come up with, with the last line something like, “I hope I got the right style and size, but you’ll need to guess whether I’m wearing boxers or briefs to get your surprise.”  So first she goes, “Gotta be tiger skin briefs.  I’ll say briefs.”  And I shook my head no.  Then she said something like, “Can’t be boxers, you’re already wearing shorts.  It’s gotta be briefs.”  And I still shook my head no.

     Then her mother says, “I guess you’ll have to go find out.”  She then came over and found out by pulling out the top of my shorts and looking in.  Her reaction was priceless as was her mother’s as well.  Did you guess briefs too?  Well, it wasn’t boxers or briefs, just me was all.  And as she looked she squealed out, “Mom, I’m a virgin!”  And her mom came back with, “That sure the hell ain’t my fault.  Do you think I go over and play cards on Fridays and Saturdays with your aunts and leave you alone for my health.  I keep hopin’ you’ll find someone and I’ll get some grandbabies.  You ain’t gonna give me no grandbabies as a silly virgin are ya?”

     Then she continued, “Here’s the keys to the car, go out and have some fun.  Don’t waste your life because of you’re damned father.  Enjoy being a girl for once.  You wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t.”  Then even more, “What the hell’s so good about bein’ a virgin anyway?  It never did me no good and I ended up marrying your dumb assed father.  My father your grampa ruined my life except for you.  I don’t want you to ruin yours.  And there ain’t shit in that shopping bag if you ain’t guessed by now.  And here’s fifty bucks.  Go have some fun tonight and I’ll be staying at your aunts as usual.”  And who would argue with that so off we went.

     They moved away about a month later.  Her father got a better job elsewhere where he didn’t have to work nights.  Never seen them since.  There were two other Hunk-O-Grams in 1994, but I guess it’s hard to forget a first like that.

     Also, graduated high school, 1983.  Ten year reunion time.  I showed up for the reunion in my walking clothes and it was good to see old friends.  Times change and I had changed my outward appearance a lot since high school.  My insides were, and still are, as messed up as ever.  I twisted my back on the first night but I attended the reunion anyway.  I saw a lot of people I hadn’t seen in a long time and had Julie’s sister do a drive-by and yell out the car window, “I wanna marry you and have your kids!” after one of our reunion events.  Stuff happens.

Subchapter XXXIII – 1994 – “Wild Dreamer”

     1994 just came and went.  Less walking because the tendon was healing.  Sometimes stuff doesn’t happen I guess.  OK, OK, it was also the end of my babysitting with Sarah, Lisa, and Andrea, and Andrea’s baby.  You don’t have to know everything do you?  But the job ended after Andrea’s boyfriend, Billy, turned himself into the cops.  No more threat, I’m not needed anymore.

     Very odd dream this year as well.  This dream happened on October 3, 1994 and I woke but then went to sleep a little while later.  This dream ended at 2:30 am in the morning and I went back to sleep at 4 am in the morning.  The dream started with me in knight’s armor on a white horse navigating a maze with floors, walls and ceilings.  The walls didn’t reach the top of the ceiling but I couldn’t really see over the walls.  Partway through the maze I was still a knight in blue armor on a white horse and battling another knight in green armor on a dark brown horse.  We both had lances.  I knocked the other knight off his horse and then proceeded outside this maze and then got off my high horse, grabbed a sword and stuck it up into this white ceiling then kneeled down on one knee looking down towards the floor.  After sticking the sword in the ceiling a voice stated, “In thirteen years you will have a son.”  I thought about this dream for a while and about six months later I was still thinking the question of “I don’t want to make a mistake, how will I know who I will end up with?”

     About six months after the dream I had another dream.  This dream started out with me at my old high school and going to my old high school locker with two women sitting in chairs near my locker.  There was one woman with blonde hair and one with dark hair.  The one with dark hair stood up from the chair and slid a piece of paper into my locker then both women left.  I tried to open the locker but couldn’t remember the combination.  Next I just rotate the locker dial a little bit then pull on the handle and the door opens.  I find the piece of paper that looked like a hall pass and the name on this hall pass was the name Mary K. Wilder written in signature form.  The blonde looked like Mary Beth from 1987 only older and a bit heavier.  The dark haired woman looks like a woman I would meet in 2003 named Brandi only she was heavier and older as well.  So now on October 3, 2007 between 2:30 am and 4:00 am I will have a son and the mother is Mary K Wilder (whoever this is).

     But dreams are not reality so will have to wait and see I guess.  Thirteen years is a while yet isn’t it?  Plus, I’m sterile so fat chance on that but who knows and the one that knows all doesn’t have a name so who can I ask?  Hey no name, wassup?  No more answers, just unanswered questions.  Cool!  Some stuff to think about and drive me nuts for thirteen years.  Awesome.

Subchapter XXXIV – 1995 to 1999 – “Memories Return”

     1995, same as 1994.  History repeats itself.  Almost.  Well, not really.  1995 and I was being chased around by a very large older woman named Kay, well Big Kay actually.  I made myself an offer I can’t forget too.  Kay worked at the grocery store where I used to work at in the deli department.  We started talking a little but…  I then said to myself, “I’ll see the next woman that uses my real name and not Ace.”  Next thing I know there is a person working at the store named, of all names, Adrian, and I didn’t break my promise to myself.  That was how it really started.  I am sure glad it was not some raving homo.  It wasn’t bad, just for the wrong reason on my part.

     Kay and I never fought and never had a reason to I guess.  It lasted from about May or June of 1995 to November 1997.  Over two years.  In this time I used to mow lawns and such for smokes.  Kay had two kids, a son-in-law, and a grandson.  Kay’s daughter just thought of me as her mom’s boyfriend.  Kay’s son thought of me as kind of the “cool” dad he never had (his own dad was around but he never liked the way his real dad acted), Kay’s grandson who had learned at an early age the answer to all life’s problems, “Ace can fix it”.  And Kay’s mom that referred to me as “that man.”

     And another story as well.  For a couple days while I was seeing Kay I had hurt my back and I wasn’t able to stand up straight.  Kay was a bit older than me but with me hunched over like I was Kay could refer to me as “an old man”.  Pretty funny really.  Kay was about 14 years older but for this limited time I looked like the “old man” in the relationship.  At this time is also how I learned what “lift with your legs and not with your back” meant.

     I still snuck off as Mikey, people still didn’t know.  I definitely wasn’t going to tell either.  I hadn’t been working as Ace in a while but I did some babysitting for someone in 1993 to 1994 (or maybe it was 1992 to 1993?).  I pretty much coasted through things for a while.

     But 1995 to 1997 was different.  In either 1996 or 1995, my mother had a stroke just before Christmas time.  My mother had always had high blood pressure and it caught up with her.  It was a mild stroke but ever since then she’s had a hard time remembering words, especially when nervous or anxious.

     And isn’t 1997 about ten years after losing my license?  Yup, and I got a driver’s license back again in 1998 on the first road test this time.  And why not just continue this subchapter until 2000?  Damned if I know.

     But in November 1997 I had a weird event that brought back most of the memories of the things I have been writing about.  For some strange reason, when my cousin’s then girlfriend, Rochelle, was talking to me while working the cash register at the grocery store, all the memories of Julie and growing up and such came back to me.  I had also been smoking for a while at this time and getting these memories back, I decided to quit smoking and drinking and such.  I did keep going as Mikey though.  I also broke up with Kay on this day.

     I almost did a complete turn around again because I realized that I kept trying to do as little as possible and “coast” for so long.  I was still Ace, just not myself.  Before, I wouldn’t care if I was nothing or something, I would just do stuff.  For quite a while I hadn’t really been doing anything.  I just existed.  I got back in touch with me again and I was back to being my old unlovable smartass self again, almost.  I realized then that I had many unresolved issues that just don’t have resolutions.

     Move on.  I was driving by myself as Ace again in 1998 and in 1999 I was tutoring my uncle in math and also doing computer work for a bunch of people.  I wrote some computer programs at this time as well and apparently someone had bothered someone else about using some of this stuff in his own program.  I had put with the stuff, in a readme type file, that anyone could do what they wanted with the coding and apparently someone did.  They added a graphic interface to it and made the coding more “user friendly” which was fine with me, but others tried to accuse the person of “stealing” the coding when I had said that I had given the coding away anyway.  Was a real mess from what I heard.  I saw a couple blurbs of that battle too and it was a shame that these people had hassled this guy when I had given him or anyone else permission to use this coding as they may see fit.

     Around 1997 we also get the internet at my parents’ house.  Fascinating for a short while, but wears thin.  So much nonsense back and forth over the internet and so many that treat nonsense as “gospel” because many people in the USA believe that anything written must be true or else why would someone go through the effort of writing it if it wasn’t true.  Lemme see, because USAn’s are gullible I guess.  Real big nonsense.

     Others saying “We are all going to die on January 1, 2000”.  To my comment of “What about the thousand years of peace?  That surely hasn’t happened yet but is supposed to happen.”  Well, if we’re all going to die, who is spreading these rumors?  Darned if I know but people are so gullible.  Well, not people really, USAn’s.  Must be nice to say you are doing things when you really aren’t.  Hypocrisy.  Lie your way to riches by begging for pennies.  People don’t use pennies, so when you ask you only get dollars.  Dishonesty abounds in the USA.  I guess I have been away for quite a while, haven’t I?

     But despite or perhaps in spite of this, I realize that many of the ideas that started the recent “intellectual revolution” to the mid 90’s have in turn been twisted so badly that it has caused a revolution in absurdity by the year 2000.  I dumbed things down to make things more understandable to many.  Others have tried to make things dumb sound smarter.  /R/E/A/D/ - read between the lines.  Foundations in fraud.  We are not all created equal so who are we trying to fool?  Everyone is who.  From the indigenous natives to anyone else that will listen and take a stand on our side.  The great white buffalo has returned to the land, but why?  I awaken to find a world in chaos and completely messed up.  Honesty, dignity, and integrity mean nothing.  Truth causes trouble so lie, lie, lie.  Lying makes a better story than the truth, doesn’t it?  No.  Too many bruised egos so reality took a long vacation.  Still on vacation as far as I can tell.

     Like this writing too many people believe in editing rather than the entire event uncut and uncensored.  Stuff still happens and most try to edit out the stuff they don’t want or like.

     Laws are added in New York State that go against the state constitution.  Federal laws are written to punish people because other people do things.  To explain the State faux pas, just read the laws on Stalking and then realize “define Legitimate purpose” as per New York State statute 120.45.  The Constitution states that a criminal law must clearly be defined but honestly, define “legitimate purpose”.  Too open to interpretation and think about this:  A neighbor walks across a neighbor’s lawn wearing golf cleats to get his mail from his mailbox.  The neighbor with the lawn complains that the neighbor with the golf cleats is hurting him with his cleats by hurting his lawn.  After being warned not to walk across the lawn again with the cleats on, the neighbor has another emergency and goes across the lawn wearing the cleats again.  The one neighbor with the cleats is technically “stalking” his neighbor with the lawn because of the way the law on Stalking is written.  Too open to interpretation.

     But even worse, say someone plants marijuana plants on your property.  The US government can now seize your property because someone else did something illegal on your property.  Not because YOU did something, but because someone ELSE did something.  Punishing people for what others do, NOT GOOD!!!

     But that’s alright, we got the psychiatrists to thank for “bailing us out” of all this criminal mess.  Political Lobbyists, Phooey.  Shrinks can’t even help themselves let alone correct “the criminal mind”.

     So where does all this lead too?  Just lie and bullshit your way through life in the USA.  The politicians do so why shouldn’t the rest of us?  Memorize what we want you to memorize but if something doesn’t seem right do NOT question your government in the USA.  Just memorize it and treat it as “gospel”.  The new US government golden rule, “Do unto others before others do unto you and try to make as much cash as possible in the process before others catch on”.  Not just the shrinks, but the prescription drug companies as well.  Someone acts up, prescribe drugs to fix the problem.  Make excuses instead of the cold hard reality that the person’s philosophy is eschewed.  Drugs do not fix a warped mind.  Knowledge fixes a warped mind.  But what is so warped about feeling you can do whatever you want to anyone you want so long as you don’t get caught?  Ask the political lobbyists in the USA this question too.  Don’t forget the politicians and elected officials as well.  There is no “wonder drug” to cure behavioral problems.  Knowledge is what cures the problem and getting a person to realize that it is wrong to hurt others is a “religious issue” apparently which is why the US government can’t seem to get this right.

     A shrink can’t say to someone, “How would you feel if what you did, someone else did to you instead?”  Too “religious”.  Pass the blame to someone else.  “Not my fault.”  Phooey.  The US government lives high off the hog at everyone else’s expense and it is really expensive when you think about it.

     What “rehabilitation”?  How can you rehabilitate someone to do penance for a crime someone else committed?  Like I said, phooey.  Do what we say and don’t ask questions, but we’re not “tyrants”.  Just because the government expects others to live by rules that the people in the government feel they are immune to does not reek of hypocrisy, does it?  Why all of this chit chat on the government and such now?

     Because of my position as Mikey I give good advice to people for a while, but then I see these people twist and turn things to their liking and become disjuncted from reality for cash.  As Mikey I was known and seen as a wealthy accountant and businessman.  Money talks.  I withdraw around 1997 / 1998 from dealing with politics and politicians because they keep twisting things to their liking and feel they have all power and don’t have to listen to anyone.  And who holds these people accountable?  I did for a short while but I gave up.  I tell politicians to try and stick to the issues but all I get back are “The issues are that the other guy is a crook.”  My point back to the politicians is, “People out of work, jobs going overseas, cost of living is astronomical, hospital costs, education costs, taxes, You are no better than the other crook, are you?”  Silence.  “We spend WAY more money on education than we used to and during my time in school we were number 2 (fallen from number 1) with developed nations on our test scores.  After spending all this money, in the last decade, we drop to number 13 out of 14 with only Canada beneath us in test scores.  What the Hell?”  Way more silence.  Characters remembered, people forgotten.  Words are just words, reality is the truth.  Mix and match to suit your liking.  Politics sucks.

     The USA sucks now.  If the USA is so great then why not have a complaint department?  Just a thought.  The USA has Department of Transportation, Department of Energy and Conservation and even a Department of Wildlife Conservation (a department for the birds), but have you ever heard of the “US Department of Complaints”?  Me neither.  Why not?  I’ll put it in the suggestion box wherever that may be.

     I took a long pause and came back to a distorted and fractured world.  What to do about it?  I can’t.  Others have gone insane, not me.  People don’t change and people don’t want to accept reality.  What can just one person do?  Not much.  But when everyone else gives up, one person can mean a lot.  I twisted things before to allow others to realize the truth by correcting a false assumption.  People now hold these twists and assumptions as truths.  Look on the internet.  An assumption is never the truth, only a guess at what is thought to be true.  The truth is always the truth and I realize the truth all too well.

     I just exist as does everyone else caught in the middle.  Stuff happens.  The year 2000 happens as well and we all die as you well know from reading this.  Did you forget that you died already?  My present is now with a past and future.

Subchapter XXXV – 2000 – “Nonsense, to be Continued…”

     2000, the end.  The beginning.  As everyone well knows, we all died and our corpses lined the streets all over the place.  Nah, just another year and still no refunds.  But wait, the millennium doesn’t really start until January 1, 2001 so there is still time left for us all to die.  USAn’s will believe about anything still.

     I was an uncle first with my niece, Gabrielle, in 1993 and second with my niece Julia in 1998.  My sister is realizing that she married someone like her father and the rest of us realize it all too well.  I am starting to spend a bit of time with my oldest niece and wait, I was the oldest too at one time.  They live over an hour away now.  Life happens.  Others may wish for it, but what happens, happens.  People twist and edit things.  Life happens however it happens.  No formulas, no reasoning, just does.  Or doesn’t.

     But trying to deal with my oldest niece makes me realize that I’m even worse dealing with a two-year old.  That’s OK though, two year olds don’t remember but seven year olds start having problems with others that cut into their turf.  After all, Gabrielle was oldest so Gabrielle was the best.  I guess we all go through stages but I remember trying to make this a short stage.  Younger people are stupid and need someone to baby them.  Us old farts are cool and don’t need to be babied because we can do stuff on our own.  It took some talking and throwing rocks in a pond for Gabrielle to realize that she wasn’t a baby and didn’t need so much attention.  When you get older you can throw your own rocks with or without your uncle.

     Gabrielle also learned that she could hog all the covers on her uncle’s bed and all sorts of cool stuff that she could do but her little sister couldn’t do without help from her older sister to teach her younger sister how to throw rocks into ponds and steal covers and such.  Gabrielle started learning to be a brat like her uncle Ace and how to teach her sister how to be a brat too when she got old enough.  Patience.  The day will come eventually.

     In 2000, I also helped tutor my uncle in a math class that he was taking at college.  My uncle recently got married and realized his new job required some higher level math than what he had known.  So at times me and my uncle Mike would reminisce about growing up and how the area was changing from the area we knew and grew up in.  From the old factories to the new corporate offices.  Old habits can be hard to break.

     At this time from the end of 1999 to the beginning of 2000, my now ex-girlfriend Kay’s former son-in-law, Ray, had asked if I would be interested in helping his company to integrate the machinery in the company to work directly off of computers instead of from the punched tape reels that they were using.  It took about 5 months, but the conversion worked well and freed up the office computers from making these tapes.  The company set up an old unused computer system to run the machines from.  No more having to worry about a tape breaking and a machine possibly going out of control.  Much safer and much more efficient.

     In 2000, I was also using the internet a bit and for a little while I was part of someone else’s website.  This person that ran the website started having some difficult personal problems and eventually left.  I stayed at the site for a while later but eventually made my own site since I knew the site was starting to die off and seemed abandoned at times.  On the internet, forums, downloads, and e-mailing.  I was never into chat or that type of stuff.

     I also saw firsthand the abuse on the internet with people using fake accounts and name changing and such.  I was doing some coding stuff and also trying to help others as well.  After a while some bad egos came in and the scene started falling apart.  When I started in this community the people were helpful and very laid back.  The people I started with liked seeing people learn how to do things on their own.

     After a while, a group moved into the community and instead of helping, they started hassling others.  The ones that started the community left eventually and left it to the ones with the egos.  The entire community fell apart and the amount of material being developed plummeted dramatically.  A community of over 5000 was down to about 200 within a year.  People just got tired of the arguing and gloating and a group that promised better stuff could not produce what was promised.  The ones that could produce left including myself for various reasons, but the biggest reason seemed to be that we had started with a helpful community that now seemed very ego oriented and mean spirited.  The attitude changed and most of us that had worked on teaching others had moved on to other things.  I left because I realized that anything I did to honestly help other newer people to learn and figure things out would get used to help those with egos in one form or another.

     If the egos were so great, prove it.  They couldn’t and most of the ones who were being helpful and productive left.  Better to leave than be constantly harassed.  I went back a couple times after leaving, the egos had mostly left (a few did remain), but the community had fallen apart.  Mostly new people with very few “old timers”.  The scars were very visible and most “help” areas on forums had very little activity in them.  Most of the community doing things were “keeping to themselves” now.  The community before, and that I had started with, was vibrant.  The community left after “the wars” was stagnant.  That’s the way things go sometimes.  Stuff happens.  Egos came in.  People became protective.  Things fell apart.

     And of course, as mentioned before, I saw the prince again whom I hadn’t seen since high school.  I wish I had asked the prince if he had figured out a way to talk with his father the king.  The prince was happy so I imagine things worked out fairly well.

     I’m so glad that the world came to an end on January 1, 2000 and saved me a lot of headaches.  Oops, stuff happened so I guess more headaches down the road.

Subchapter XXXVI – 2001 – “We All Died Part II, Not Much Happened”

     2001, lots of walks this year but part of the area I walk in is under construction.  More walks but shorter distances.  Some of this construction pertains to adding sidewalks to main thoroughfares that I have walked using paths, not sidewalks.  Imagine a busy traffic area without sidewalks but not a highway either.  A grocery store, restaurant, no sidewalk by the road, just a well worn path.  Still Mikey but slowing things down a bit.  I had been going day and night for about two decades.  Sometimes you need a break.  I saw a lot of my nieces this year and they spent the night quite often.  Nothing like an eight year old girl that likes stealing her uncle’s covers and sleeping diagonally across the whole bed.  Lots of piggyback rides as well to show how big, tall, and grown up we were.  Glad we all died again and that nothing happened in 2001.

Subchapter XXXVII – 2002 – “Past, Present, Future, A Marked Man”

     2002, the start of a new beginning and the realization that I had an impact many years ago.  Stuff I had done for years finally started to sink in as I looked at the way things were compared to the way things are.

     My father had been driving school bus for about a year after retiring from the local company as both a union and company employee.  I was offered a chance to train to drive school bus with three others of which two didn’t even show up.  At the end of training the other person was hired.  I got my commercial Class B license with a passenger and air brake endorsement by the end of 2002.  I compare driving a school bus with playing billiards (pool) because of the way you need to line things up and the pivot point being the back wheels and using the bus mirrors and such.  It works well for me.

     All the stories you hear (but another person I knew still probably has the wildest story and was a meter reader, not a bus driver.  Anyway, this person went to read a meter and knocked on the door.  A lady came out totally naked and said something like “Sorry, I thought you were my son.”  Try topping that one).

     Anyway, I had always trained to drive school bus with the boss, Loren.  But one day the boss’s son, Gordy, took me out on training.  I had a1ways kept my speed down and usually went 25 in a 30 mph zone.  To pass the road test I needed to appear more confident and needed to keep more towards the speed limit.  I was doing that now but unfortunately, as fate would have it, being cautious instead of confident can help when approaching railroad tracks.  On our only training exercise together, the sons got rear-ended by a car before the railroad tracks.  I noticed the lady behind was following the bus too closely behind.

     I was going the speed limit but approaching railroad tracks.  I just took my foot off the accelerator for one second and the lady behind drove her whole front end underneath the back of the bus and both the bus and the car came to a sudden halt all in about two seconds.  I put the bus in neutral after I realized we weren’t going anywhere and pulled on the parking brake and the hazard lights.  The car behind was wedged under the back bumper and the front end of the car completely totaled.  The front shocks were holding the car up against the underneath of the back of the school bus.  The police showed up then the fire department showed up as well and the bus was jacked up and pulled forward to remove the car from underneath.

     No tickets issued until later when someone in the community realized the name of the woman and her husband’s position.  A while afterwards a ticket was issued to the woman for following too closely.  I was a marked man now.  The prominent person was definitely upset about the totaled car PLUS the ticket.  It was all my fault for taking my foot off the gas.  Like I said, I am a marked man now.  The bus went from 28 mph to zero in two seconds.  No brakes applied.  I have a feeling that the woman behind me hit the gas pedal instead of the brake.  Stuff happens.

     But the big thing was that the kids can’t play nice together, Gordy and me.  No arguments between us but accidents happen.  Just one of those things.  But I heard that the lady that rear-ended the bus was a cop’s wife.  Uh oh.

Subchapter XXXVIII – 2003 – “Back to School”

     2003, a possibility of working for the company that trained me as a bus driver, but that falls through.  Another company, however, gets permission from my trainer and I start driving school bus in September 2003.  Very small route at first, but things happen during the next year and I get a larger route.  Part time only and not that many hours.  Still working as Mikey as well, but no one knows about that stuff and I’m definitely not telling.  But still, why is a 38 / 39 year old unmarried and not seeing anyone?

     At the bus company I go by the name Adrian but by next year, someone knows me from the grocery store and wonders who this Adrian is that they keep talking about.  Oops, it was this year, 2003, that Fran, that used to work nights at the grocery store with me, was asking everyone who this Adrian was but Fran knew who Ace was.  Well, Fran found out who Adrian was.  Fran definitely knew who I was because I was the wild man of the grocery store but I wasn’t quite the wild man anymore.  I was driving school bus kids around.  I knew everyone but I was fairly quiet and calm now.  I was far different from what Fran remembered.  You can’t be too hyperactive around kids.  They pick up bad habits readily.  Fran had a couple kids now and was going through a bitter divorce.  Fran wasn’t quite the same either.

     Another story.  There is also a story from another driver from just AFTER she had got her bus driver’s license.  Apparently this lady, Diane, had got into a bus just after getting her license and the bus wouldn’t start after she put the key in.  Diane went over the bus radio and announced that she had got into the bus, put the key into the ignition and the bus didn’t start.  A short while later someone said over the radio, “Did you turn the key to the right?”  Next thing Diane came back over the radio with a “thank you” to the other driver after managing to start the bus.  At least she waited until AFTER getting her license to ask about turning the key to start the bus.  Later it was a good thing that Diane was put in a bus with pre kindergarten kids so that if Diane got into trouble, the kids could help her out without being too far over Diane’s head intellectually.  You just never know.

     There was also a woman named Brandi that I was starting to help study.  She had some grades that were in need of help, so I helped.  Same as helping before, teach the acronyms and other memory tricks to make things easier to remember.  I help.  Grades improve.  Jealous boyfriend has fit.  Grades drop.  Her boyfriend’s name is Craig and he is one of the most dishonest people I’ve ever met.  Craig even tries to tell Brandi that the cash advances taken out of his check are for food expense when it even says “Food Expense” on his check stub as well as a separate listing for cash advance as well.  Talk about bullshit.  But also there was something familiar about Brandi but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  Stuff was going on and Craig was throwing fits so I would stop helping Brandi and her grades would drop again.  While helping, I would also go outside sometimes and me and Brandi’s son, Logan, would play outside together.

     This started at the end of 2003 but in 2004 I would learn some very odd things about Brandi and remember some things about my past that I hadn’t thought about in a long time.

Subchapter XXXIX – 2004 – “Lessons Unlearned”

     2004, I start a longer school bus run because a person has some problems but people can’t talk about it, legal matters.  I find out later that the old driver of this route, Raymond, was accused of something with one of the students.  I also meet the accuser later on while doing the route and realize that the accuser, Jessica, lied big time.  Raymond went to jail on a plea bargain deal.  Raymond dies within two years of all this and apparently only a few still care that Raymond was falsely accused.

     Another thing, the “Victim’s” identity is kept quiet by the courts but I realize who she is by her own actions.  No one had to say because I knew after she was trying to play her games on me as well.

     One of the other kids, a very young boy named Joe, got upset and was crying because Jessica had said she was going to do some things to try and get me fired in front of this boy.  I get pulled off the route later.  Was quite a mess as well.

     There was also a new kid on the bus that was becoming quite a handful because he was being taught to be an abusive person by his dad, but he really wasn’t an abusive person by nature.  A different kid, Dustin, was a bit like me and how could you punish a kid for coming up with altered lyrics to Row Row Row Your Boat that went “Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo, 69 a porcupine, up the old wazoo.”  It’s a classic and he only said it around the older kids who swore anyway.

     The other kid, Tony, that was being taught to be abusive, had been warned as well as Dustin about behavior around the younger kids.  Dustin got in trouble a couple times and got punished by having to sit up front with the bus driver and hear stories of how bad the bus driver was when the bus driver was younger.  Dustin understood and changed a bit for the better because Dustin became more thoughtful of others.

     Tony was a different case.  Tony was becoming more and more violent.  The big episode came when Tony was asked to sit in his seat, like the other kids were asked when the bus was moving, and Tony yelled out loud to the monitor, “You fucking bitch!” with the younger kids on the bus as well.  That was that.  This bus driver had had enough.  Cameron got sucker punched by Tony, and other incidents but this was it with me.  The bus stopped and up front Tony came, like Dustin before, until further notice from the bus driver.  Tony got a loud earful in the fact that I was not going to tolerate this stuff.  The school district later told Tony to do what he wanted and that even if Tony were to set the bus on fire or such, Tony could do whatever he wanted.

     But Tony’s language and actions took about three lines in a report I made on this incident with the monitor.  The other two and a half pages described the phone call I had with Tony’s parents that was unknowingly witnessed by a fellow co-worker, Rod.  Rod stated that I was the most polite person while having to raise my voice to be heard that Rod had ever heard.  Tony was mouthy and belligerent and we were asked to do nothing about it including any write-ups of his actions.  I was gladly removed from the route when something else happened at the beginning of the next school year in 2005.

     I was later fired in 2005 based on some false reports but after what Raymond had gone through and what I had endured, the school district as well as the entire State of New York can go up themselves.  And that is still the way I feel to this day but some more on that later.  This is still 2004.  And what a year.

     The school year was coming to an end in June 2004 but around May 2004 Brandi, the one I was tutoring, said I was following her and stalking her and to leave her alone.  Why she said this, I still have no idea, but I stayed away from her for a while.

     Earlier, I was helping Brandi clean out some stuff and she found an old card or poster or such with her ex-husband’s name on it.  Brandi’s ex-husband was my step uncle, Jimmy.  That was a shocker and we talked a bit about the family and such.  I saw Jimmy a couple times as well and he died about two or three years later.  Jimmy remembered “Bubby” for sure and Jimmy had started calling Brandi’s son, Logan, Bubby because Logan acted a lot like me when I was little.  I also noticed how Brandi and Craig, Logan’s dad, had fought a lot and stuff like that.  But yes, Brandi’s son Logan and I were a lot alike including the fits and such.  But yeah, Logan and I became “Best buddies” for a while.  We also had our special “Logan hugs” which were the biggest and bestest hugs in the world.  But yeah, Brandi met the guy that her ex-husband, Jimmy, said her son, Logan, reminded him of.  I’m grown up though, Logan is only two then three years old at this time.  But Logan and I were very much alike.  Quite a surprise after all these years of being unique.

     In June came the company picnic and I saw Brandi a couple times and Logan as well, then no more.  What went on I still don’t know for sure and I probably don’t want to know, but things ended.  Before ending, I noticed a picture Brandi had on a shelf.  I said to Brandi something like, “Who’s that?” and Brandi said something like “That’s my mom”.  And I think I said something like, “I used to work with her when I worked at the museum.”  After I had found out that Brandi used to be married to my step uncle Jimmy, I started calling her aunt Brandi at work a few times and told people why.  After a while though, Brandi asked me to stop because she was only about 30 and I was about 40 and she said that my calling her aunt Brandi made her feel old so I stopped.  But stuff happened at the company picnic and I have no idea what but that was the last I spoke to Brandi.

     Another thing to note, back in 1988, Brandi and her mother were at the grocery store and Brandi’s mother had told me some stuff and asked if I would be willing to adopt Brandi.  This was back when Brandi was 13 and I was 23.  Odd how some paths cross I guess.  I had thought about a possible serious relationship before but I don’t think Logan could handle calling me “Uncle daddy grampa cousin” and such.  Just too whacked out.  Think about it.

     But some weird stuff was going on but Brandi never talked to me about it.  Even worse, I wrote a letter trying to find out and ended up talking to a cop about it and the cop warned me not to write another.  August came around and I had had Brandi’s boyfriend, Craig, plus Kevin, plus Jen, plus others around Brandi (but not Brandi herself), driving around my house and following me into work.  The letter I mentioned before also mentioned this and supposedly they were warned by the officer to stop driving around my house.

     The second letter, I was sneaky like Craig and them and this second letter talked about Craig’s “cash advance / food expense” lie mentioned earlier.  In this second letter I also said that to find the answer to that question, Brandi needed to talk to an accountant and not a truck driver for that answer.  Another warning by the same police officer who also said that he would tell the others to stop driving by my house and following me around and such.

     School started again in September of 2004 and I was bus driving again.  At this time I need to mention someone named Sandy that worked for the bus company as well.  I try to get along with people as much as possible but I just can’t ever get along with sneaky people.  I am usually a pretty direct person but I do joke around a bit as well.  Sandy just struck me as a sneaky, underhanded person and I was right.  She knew she was as well and admitted it.

     But a funny, but not so funny incident happened in the parking lot between us.  Sandy was really upset about something and came down to the parking lot just screaming and yelling at me, then Sandy said something like, “I’m mad and I forgot my blood pressure medication and I’ll probably die from a stroke or heart attack if I don’t calm down.  You’d like that wouldn’t you?”  So of course I said something back like, “Please, that would be very nice of you.  Anything more that I can do to help just ask and I’ll be glad to help you die.  The sooner the better.”  Then Sandy’s door slammed shut and off we both went to work in different directions.

     Earlier, in July 2004, I had noticed Craig’s sons, Kyle and Tyler, writing stuff on Brandi’s van.  I don’t know what was written, but whatever was written, was bad and I got blamed for it even though anyone could have seen that it wasn’t my writing.  Other stuff was going on that I was getting blamed for that I still have no idea on to this day.  To this day I will tell everyone as well that Jen, Kevin, Craig, Missy, Jen’s boyfriend, Jen’s brother and sister, Brian R, and a couple others KNOW that they did stuff to Brandi and I got blamed for it.  SO, to hell with all of them and they are ALL cowards, every last one of them.

     I wrote three letters in the end and that was that.  I was a dumb ass, but I was tired of being lied about and lied to.  People were given a chance to be honest and every one of them on that list above failed.

     Another person that was beyond a failure was my lawyer, Jim.  Jim decided to represent me but also refused to let me know what was going on in all of this.  Jim will rot in hell for eternity and he knows it as well as I do.  But pretty bad when the arresting deposition says the exact opposite of what is written in the letters I wrote.  Even worst, when your lawyer refuses to let you plead “not guilty” like you know you should and the lawyer also refuses to say why.  Even worster, this asshole of an attorney wants you to plead guilty to a higher charge but won’t tell me it is a higher charge plus get a harsher sentence.  FUCK YOU JIM!  I do it anyway though, not because my lawyer is lying to me and such but because I know if I fight this my ex-aunt almost step daughter would go to jail for what was written in her deposition whether she actually said that stuff or not.  What else could I do anyway?  I was surrounded by a bunch of liars.

     More on that later still 2004 here.  But in May 2004, I quit being Mikey.  No mo ho.  In the beginning of May I had showed up to help Brandi study and I was completely exhausted.  Brandi said I might better get some sleep and I told her that I would be fine and that I was up late on Monday, May 3, as I put it, “Getting laid”.  Brandi almost started crying and asked me to leave.  I left shortly after.  May 10 and I was with “The Joke” for the last time after 20 years and I returned her car to her.  May 17 I was with my pimpette and that was the end.  I was done with Mikey and that was that.  I was just so damned tired of sneaking around anymore and being dishonest and it just wasn’t right so I quit.  Thinking “Yer daddy’s a ho” just got to me and I quit.  That and hoping that Logan wouldn’t follow in my dark footsteps and such.

     In November 2004 I quit something else as well.  I stopped smoking in November 1997.  I started back up smoking again in November 2004.  My best buddy [sarcasm] Sandy used to be a smoker but now adamantly hated smokers.  In November 2004, I quietly went outside the work office and lit up again.  I liked Sandy so much [more sarcasm].  I tend to get along better with smokers than non-smokers so I needed the change.  I started smoking again after 7 years, not to try and belong, but because I definitely didn’t want to belong to being an ex-smoker like Sandy.

     Also, 1964, 2004, 40 years and I had three shots and eight beers on the night of my 40th birthday.  Julie’s dead.  Life sucks.  Have fun.  Whatever.  I get arrested for fourth degree stalking in late December 2004 and all I know about for sure to this day is the three letters and that I got railroaded by a dishonest “system”.  2004, I still work and drive school bus…  Some things change.  I have all the events of 2004 logged as well as 2005 too.  Pretty much, I work and get stalked by a bunch of dishonest assholes.  That’s about it for this year.  It gets worst next year, 2005.

Subchapter XL – 2005 - “A Year to Forget”

     2005, a year to forget.  I still walk and am still working until September 2005.  What’s really bad is that I am let go from my job in late September 2005 and someone complains about my working in October when I’m not even working!  It all must be true.  Bah, good riddance to bad rubbish.  I am fired because of a bunch of lying and I am glad to lose the damned job.  That’s that.

     I started out great representing myself in court but then others said I should get an attorney.  Unfortunately, one got appointed and my case went downhill from there.  The lawyer never asked me about the case and what was I supposed to do.  Representing myself I could talk to the assistant district attorney and such.  With a lawyer, I was fucked.  Plain and simple.  I made a HUGE mistake and should never have had a lawyer and especially not this piece of shit named Jim.  Jim would give scheister a bad name.  No one has honestly ever talked to me about my case and quite frankly, not my fault.  I’m still here, talk, fine, bullshit, fuck off.  That’s that.  I have never seen so many assholes lie their asses off to cover people’s asses in my life.

     The assistant district attorney loses her job in January 2006 and the officer that gave me the warnings and lied about warning them not to follow me around was asked to retire in May / June 2006.

     On a reflection back to quitting the “you can’t last eight hours…” job.  From this job I had for almost 20 years, I learned that even though I got the same results, everyone is different.  Different people behave differently and everyone goes through life differently.  And also, if you are with a woman who has had a total hysterectomy, nail a board across your ass or you’ll fall in.  Those who have had this experience will understand.

     Also, what is it with “blonde” jokes anyway?  I asked a guy “why do you shave your head?”.  And he answered, “So people don’t know that I’ve got a bald spot.”  Talk about stupid.  But even worse is that if it wasn’t for the fake blondes inhaling so much bleach, the real blondes wouldn’t get such a bad reputation.  Something to think about I guess.

     But 2005 is here but to be brief, it is not a good year but I make the best of it.  I get blatantly lied to and forced to plea guilty to a higher charge (that I was never told was a higher charge) in July 2005.  I get misrepresented again by my attorney in sentencing in October 2005.  I have never seen a larger group of dishonest bastards in my entire life.  I have this all summed up and documented elsewhere, but I wish to end with some reflections instead of details on this.

     First off, I am referred into an abuse program.  The teacher of the class knows something is very wrong with this but is given pressure by the others that are trying to cover their asses.  The beginning tip off to the teacher is that during program admissions testing, the teacher discovers that I fit a perfect profile of someone that would be incapable of doing the things I was accused of doing.  A “cobra” type personality does NOT stalk.  Also, the “cobra” program requires three and a half years in a program whereas a “pit bull” is a nine month program.  During testing, the teacher discovers that I am a perfect “cobra” except in looks (I wear eyeglasses) and I don’t appear to be sneaky or deceptive.  Everything else fits including my “I just exist” answers to questions.

     Here is another thing, I am a drunk, violent crackhead but at least I’m honest about it.  The test is junk and it shows.  But the verbal follow up is what is used to determine “cobra” or “pit bull” and I was in no way a pit bull.  I actually told the teacher that I was a new breed called “mongoose / bald eagle” in a letter and I think the teacher was a bit relieved after that because I wasn’t a cobra or a pit bull really and we both knew it.  If a cobra though, I would be the deadliest and most venomous but I don’t have “venom” but I have “anti venom” that I use against abusive people.  The anti venom is “how would you feel if someone did to you what you did to them?”  That would quiet any abuse class in a hurry.  The teacher also told me that there was another “cobra” in the class but he had changed and had started caring now.  The other “cobra” now had a pet cat and feelings.  I just had “Don’t do something to someone else that you wouldn’t want done to you.”  Different philosophies.

     But also, two cobras amongst a bunch of pit bulls.  A definite slaughter if things went wrong.  You can’t stop something that doesn’t care except by death.  That is all that will stop a cobra once they start.  There were a couple times in the class when me and the other guy started verbally attacking another person in the group and it was very apparent that we weren’t pit bulls.  Both of us cobras saw this one person as being very weak and we started verbally attacking him to the point of tears.  A cobra is relentless and has no fears.  But a mongoose is immune to a cobra’s venom.  I was unmatched in this class.  Pit bulls will usually pick a favorite spot but wander around.  A cobra or mongoose / bald eagle are very territorial and not prone to wandering.  A cobra or a mongoose / bald eagle are incapable of stalking.  Uh oh.  A mongoose or cobra won’t go to or after someone else, the other person has to be dumb enough to go around the mongoose or cobra.

     Another point, a cobra is deceptive and will not warn someone to stay away.  A mongoose will always warn.  A cobra also uses deception, a mongoose uses stealth.  A pit bull is normally defensive, a cobra is normally aggressive, and a mongoose is normally protective.  The big difference between the three.  I am not a cobra, I’m probably worst.  Abusive people are predators.  Mongooses are predator killers, one way or another.

     Guilt was my weapon and “how would you feel if what you did to someone else was done to you?” was a killer amongst the class.  Not even the teacher could counter that one.  But the problem is that if guilt doesn’t work then next step is death.  If a person does not understand the message they are dangerous and must die.  Those words were worst than any beating, jail time or anything else that could be done.  Those words are fatal and final.  Message taken.  Death also means a warning of never come near me again or you will die.  In the abuse class, they all understood.

     Craig, Kevin, Jen, Missy, and a few others did not understand.  Craig, Kevin, Jen, and Missy, as well as Jim the lawyer are permanently on my predator list.  There is no removal from that list unless dead.  They are warned to never come near and if they do not listen they will die on sight.  I will not chase after anyone, but if someone told to stay away doesn’t listen, it’s their own damned fault.  Nothing will stop that.

     These people are all cowards and forbidden to be in my presence under ANY circumstances.  They are done.  I am territorial and do not chase.  So long as they stay away they live.  Come near when warned to leave, instant death.  That is how I am and will always be.  Once someone is determined to be a predator, there is no reversal.  Bob was determined to be a predator.  We never made contact with one another.  Bob died in 2008, good for him and everyone else too.  He died of natural causes, but, the decree is “I don’t come near you, definitely don’t come near me for life.  That’s it.”

     It is a mongoose’s nature to kill off predators.  Honesty kills off abuse.  Truly abusive people can’t be honest (denial).  I guess I know more than what I thought.  If not for the nonsense, I never would have thought about this.  But the problem is that I don’t know for sure what has happened to get me into this abuse class.  My teacher is positive though that whatever happened, I didn’t do it.  The teacher also can’t tell me because he is afraid I would hunt someone or multiple someones behind whatever it is and physically kill them.  Don’t worry teach, I don’t go after anyone but if on the predator list, don’t come near me and you will be warned.

     My teacher isn’t a predator nor was the prosecutor nor the police officer that messed up Brandi’s deposition.  My lawyer is a predator however, and will be warned.  Well, warned if he’s ever dumb enough to come around someone he messed over and knows he messed me over BIG TIME.  I do not associate with predators and they are not allowed to associate with me.  Mistakes can be made, but what Craig, Kevin, Missy, Jen, and lawyer Jim have done and know about what each other have done, put them on the permanent predator ‘endangered species’ list.  No removal except upon death.  No excuses accepted.  Whatever was done to get me blamed for whatever else happened to Brandi was done by these people named and they all know who did what to Brandi but are too cowardly to tell Brandi the truth.  I do not associate with dishonest people.  Never have, never will.

     But 2005 is a year filled with hate but also a year of relief.  After 3 years of probation amongst a bunch of dishonest assholes, I’ll be free.  The “program” and “system” are both dishonest and worthless.  Like I said, “Screw the State of New York” and all its baloney.  Honesty is not permitted if THEY screw up, because if THEY screw up it is all your fault no matter what.  Three years of being forced to sign falsely prepared statements by a bunch of nutcases in a place called the nuthouse or else face probation violation.  The USA does not force people to sign lies and confess to stuff you didn’t do MY ASS.  It happens a lot in the USA and is complete BULLSHIT.  Film at 11 on the internet.  I have been nothing but lied to and lied about and abused.  Screw the USA and screw New York State.  That’s that.

     I should have handled this myself.  I am “The Ace Man” after all but I took some horrible advice in getting a lawyer.  Actually, a lawyer would have been nice but what I got was a sneaky, lying, dishonest, underhanded scheister by the name of Jim.  “Jackass Jim” to be precise.  To hell with a dishonest system that doesn’t seek honesty.  Guilty until PROVEN innocent.  Once arrested you have to prove innocence beyond any doubt.  If I had been appointed a REAL lawyer I would have been fine because I could have EASILY proven innocence if I had been allowed to know what the hell had been going on besides my letters (which were non threatening and non abusive by the way).

     Yeah, blame me for stuff that I have no idea is even going on and better yet don’t ever tell me what has gone on either.  ASSHOLES.  That’s it too, a bunch that just spew shit into the world and serve no other purpose.  Remember, I was INSIDE this system and what I saw and went through is in no god damned way rehabilitative.  BOTH sides just bullshit until the time is done.  I was so out of place because I am not a bullshitter or a liar.  Stuff happens.  End 2005 and 2006.

Subchapter XLI – 2006 – “Bullshit Begets Bullshit, Back to Basics”

     In 2005, I get fired from my job for events that I wasn’t even aware of at the time they happened.  One of these events happened on a school bus that I wasn’t even allowed to drive because it was standard shift.  But blame me anyway.  Screw the whole mess.

     In the summer of 2006 I was offered a temporary job that involved setting up chairs and tables at a local race track then tearing them down after the event was over.  I’m a 40 year old doing physical labor with a bunch of 20 year olds that have a hard time keeping up with this old fart.  But then too, I still look maybe 26 years old at the most while actually being age 40.

     The abuse program classes are in 2006 as well and the one secretary seems possibly familiar.  The secretary’s name is Lisa and seems a lot like the Lisa I used to babysit back in 1992 – 93 – 94.  Stuff happens.  But my attitude is mostly, “OK, rehabilitate someone, anyone.  Let’s see what this ‘program’ has got.”  My attitude is also, “Treat me as bad as you want, I don’t want to be like the rest of you and I still have a good, clean conscience about all this.”  Not one person can be truly honest with me about what happened to even get me referred into an abuse class.  This system lacks honesty and is a complete failure.  Just do what you are told and don’t care about truth or honesty, because truth and honesty help no one.  That is that.

     The United States of America lied and wrongfully invaded the country of Iraq and the punishment is that the soldiers of the USA get to kill as many Iraqis as possible.  Some punishment for lying to invade a country.  Iraq was not the ones that flew planes into the US World Trade Center, Afghanistan was behind most of that.  Not ONE of those named in the Trade Tower attacks was even associated with Iraq.  It is wrong.  The USA is a dishonest mess.  Too bad the Russians aren’t still upset with the USA and could nuke us citizens to put us out of our misery dealing with a VERY dishonest government.  It is wrong.  The leader of the USA lied about Iraq having chemical weapons of mass destruction but were in reality PESTICIDES because information was misleading.  Imagine a country like Iraq without long range weaponry is going to destroy the USA by spraying bugs that eat their crops.  Iraq is right on the USAs border and such a threat as well.  Complete fiasco and the rest of the USA citizens have to pay for the blunders of a few idiots that NEVER really get punished.  But what do you expect from a bunch of liars except death and more destruction and more lying…

     So continues the abuse cycle and keep your mouth shut about it or we’ll kill and invade you next.  What abuse?  Yes, I have had enough.  After 40 some years I finally have the answer to all questions in a form anyone can understand.  “Do not do something to someone else that you would not like done to yourself REGARDLESS of what the other person(s) does / do.”  That is the answer to good and evil and Heaven and Hell and everything really.  The punishment for failing to follow this, banishment – be gone evil one(s) for I want nothing more to do with you until you repent and give penance.  Repenting is admitting you did something wrong and penance is what someone does to make up for that wrong.

     When someone does something to someone else that they wouldn’t want done to themselves then they have done something WRONG.  This is where ‘modern’ psychiatry fails.  Modern psychiatry tries to say there is no right or wrong which is false.  There is right and wrong as well as good and evil.  That is that.  Deny all you want shrinks but the truth is THE TRUTH.  That is that.

     2006 ends with someone I have been trying to help out.  Piles of messages ensue but the person I am trying to help does not want to understand.  Too much information and I need to condense so instead of facts and events I should just be “how would you feel if it was done to you what has been done to me?”  Falls on deaf ears.  Go to Hell, see if I care.

     And I have defined Heaven and Hell already, think about it.  Heaven is heavenly because of a simple rule, “Don’t do something to someone else that you wouldn’t like done to you.”  Hell has no rules except do whatever you can and whatever you want to whomever and whatever you want.  What place would you rather live in?  Heaven or Hell?  My way of thinking has always been like this but at times I did lose track of these thoughts.  I’m not perfect either but I can admit it.  Others can’t and I know the type of place they end up in.  Why can’t there be Heaven on Earth?  Damned if I know, but I do now.

     I am back now to being The Ace Man, whatever that may be.  Sometimes you just gotta bitch your head off to get back to basics and instead of looking at certain events and such, look at the whole picture.  There are a bunch of people doing bad things to Brandi and getting me blamed for it when they are the ones doing this bad stuff to Brandi.  Not my fault.  Brandi should know better as well but she has trusted the wrong people and probably still does.  They were all in on it but I can guarantee that when it comes to confessing, they will not ALL confess what they did.  They’ll just write off the ones that got caught and try to cover their own asses for the rest.  That’s that.  Brandi was told that I didn’t do certain things but never listened.  Her loss now and she can spend the rest of her life being harassed by a bunch of dishonest liars because that’s what she’s chosen.  I don’t feel sympathy or sorrow or fear or much of anything anymore anyway.  I just exist.

Subchapter XLII – 2007 and Beyond - “Wrapping Things Up”

     2007 to 2009 and bringing these stories to a close.  Life still goes on after this, but to where, where ever I guess.  Stuff happens.

     In July 2007 I start working for a company at the local airport.  I start having a lot of fun after realizing what I had stumbled into.  I’m working for a company, that the person running the company, Gregg, has combined different aspects under a small community type roof.  Part of the company deals with transporting people and lost luggage to different destinations while another part deals with moving large groups of people while still a third part involves maintaining the vehicles and such.  A lot to manage but management becomes easier when those working know what they are to do.

     A small company with great diversity leads to confusion when people forget about what they are doing or try to exceed their capabilities.  The company services a large area with limited resources.  Management is crucial and when someone oversteps their bounds, the boss is smart enough and has been in the business long enough to let them find out on their own.  A company of less than 20 people working with about 50 communities both large and small.  Quite a task and quite a boss.  It is a transportation company with large transport vans, some school buses with a couple equipped for wheelchair transport, a couple small executive coaches, several large tour buses and even a pickup truck with a cap on the back.

     There is competition as well but all have been around long enough to know to work with one another and help each other out when needed.  Large area, small companies, work together.  But oh, the stories.  Lots of things happen and stories of events both good and bad abound.  Most of the time I am working out of the airport and most of the time I am driving one of the large vans all over the area.  I never know where I’ll be from one day to the next.  It’s great and I even tell people jokingly, “Yeah, my boss is great, he pays me to sit on my butt all day as much as possible.”  Which is true, but I get paid to transport as many people and as much luggage as possible while sitting on my butt, driving, to do it.

     But I’m single, unattached, and going all over the place is great and seeing different people and getting to know different areas.  One story, a fellow co-worker knew that I used a particular van quite a lot and I told him in a figurative way, “That van is my home.  I pretty much live in it.”  And a lot of times I spent many hours on the road in this van.  The co-worker took it literally and one day the boss said take this certain van I used to this co-worker.  This co-worker literally said something to the boss like, “Are you sure you want me to take THAT van?  What if Ace has to sleep in it?”  And my boss got a big chuckle out of it but assured my co-worker, Jim, that it was alright to take the company van.  But the co-worker seemed serious about not taking Ace’s van so it took some explaining of figures of speech to a new level I guess.

     Everyone’s different and we are definitely different.  Each has their own personality and the boss pretty much knows how to deal with each one whether they wish to admit it or not.  Each has their own priorities and some definite clashes.  Lots of stories.  Some for money, some for prestige, some for laughs, sometimes all three and more.  Some for neither and are just helping out.

     Me, I have a blast most of the time.  I try to do as much stuff in as little time as possible.  “There’s a whole world out there, I’m gonna sit on my butt and enjoy it as much as possible.  But yeah, let others hang around the office and all that stuff.  If I have something to drive, I’m gonna try to find somewhere to go wherever it may be.”  Some people set up reservations in advance while others just show up looking for a ride.  Sometimes a lot of luggage needs to be delivered but whatever.  Just figure out what’s going on and figure out the best way to get things done.

     This involves working together which can be the tough part of the job for me.  I don’t want to do everything but I wish I could.  It’s tough to learn that you can’t be two places at once despite writing down the same time for two different places at 2:45 PM.  It took me 50 seconds from one stop to scoot around the corner to the next stop so my delivery times for the two different locations were both 2:45 PM.  I was two places at once.  Stories.  Hey, wait, ain’t I Ace, the one that does stuff like being two places at the same time, that others say can’t be done?  Yeah, I’m back to being me, Ace, for the most part but I do slip and make stupid mistakes at times.  Like anyone else, that’s life.

     I try not to let anger or bitterness get in the way of having a good time.  The secrets of being a good driver are simple.  Same as being a ‘good’ anything really.  The secret is saying to yourself, “I know I did well this time, but is there anything I can do better the next time.”  In other words…  Pay attention to what’s going on, know where you’re at and where you’re going, and no one likes to ride with a grouch.  Outside that and inside that is a real truth, Would you like to ride with yourself?  That is the true secret to being a great (or better) instead of just a good driver.  Same as with anything else.  Share the road too, but better yet, let the other nutcases share the road, with me driving on the road, the sidewalk is much safer.

     Yeah, I love my job now but sometimes personalities can clash which is no fun.  Probation for me ends October 2008 and I’m free again whatever that is.  But I work at the airport with people coming and going and with other companies and other people as well.  Why not suffer [snicker] together.  Not a perfect world, some get along, some don’t.  That’s life.

     Everyone has different ideas on how to do things which is great because different things require different ideas.  The problem is matching the right idea with the right problem.  Take for instance our secretary / cleaner, Kelly, who was trying to figure out how I had delivered a piece of luggage to the State of Illinois in five minutes.  The normal secretary, Michelle, knew but Kelly just couldn’t figure it out.  I popped my head in the door and Kelly asked, “Ace, how did you get the bag to Illinois in five minutes?”  And I answered, “Because of the time zone difference.  It was only 8:00 PM out there when I left which allowed me to get the bag there by 9:05 PM their time.  But their time zone is an hour behind.”  Then you could see a little light bulb go off in Kelly’s head and she was like, “OK, just thought I’d ask, thank you.”

     Another Jim and Michelle were in the same room and trying very hard to keep a straight face.  Then Kelly tried to enter the information to make a claim for delivery payment with the airline and the claim STILL would not go through saying something like, “Too much distance” on the web site.  More look of frustration from Kelly again while the other Jim and Michelle are trying their best to still keep a straight face.  Then I poked my head back in and said something like, “Really, they are staying at the nearby hotel and the baggage claim printed out the permanent address by mistake.”  Michelle then said something like, “I knew that” and Jim was nearly laughing so hard he almost fell out of the chair he was in.

     It was odd though.  Within about a week, a bag came in and the person I was delivering to said they had just got off the phone with the airline in Minnesota who told them that the bag was still in Minnesota.  Without batting an eyelash I filled in the truth that it was only 12:15 PM in Minnesota but 1:15 PM here in New York.  When it gets to be 1:15 PM in Minnesota, then they will know the bag got delivered, but the airline in Minnesota still has another hour before the bag is delivered at 1:15 PM here.  Please sign here X___________, which he signed smiling.  The things you do to get people to smile.

     As far as this Jim, another story.  We had an assistant mechanic named Eric that had problems with tightening bolts.  One day, Jim came back in our mini school bus and asked Eric to check the air conditioning in the bus.  About a week later, I asked Eric again to check the air conditioning in the mini bus.  Yes, BOTH times Eric checked the air conditioning but the problem is that the mini bus DOES NOT have an air conditioner.  Things happen even if only a week apart.  Like I said, “I have a great job now.  I never know where I will be or what will happen next but I’m having a great time.”  Practice makes perfect and I keep working and practicing to be the perfect smart ass like that Ace guy I’ve heard so much about.

     And what brought about writing this anyway?  I’m getting older and people asked about a “life story” of mine so I figured I might better do something.  Also, things have been getting mixed up for me recently and at times taken the wrong way.  I tried explaining some stuff to a friend named Kathryn and stuff got twisted around the wrong way.  Kathryn recently lost her best friend, Jess, and seems to be about as lonely and confused as I was 26 years ago.  It is odd how sometimes you can find inspiration in some of the most unlikely places.

     About a year and a half ago I was driving some people around and one of them worked at the airport.  Her name was, and still is, Katy and is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met (honestly, I still haven’t met myself yet but I’ve heard stories about me nonetheless).  I remember the night of the pre wedding party and Katy crying because she thought I might think bad of her because of the way her family behaved this night.  I tried to tell Katy that I understood but my family gets just as bad too, if not worst really.  Katy was a bit like me but never a smart ass like me (aren’t you lucky).  I kind of felt bad for Katy that night because I noticed how out of place she felt.  I knew how she felt and that was fairly odd for me.  But stuff happens.

     Katy was also in her very early twenties and me in my forties.  But also, I can’t have kids, Katy can have a life.  But Katy has always been a “bubbly” type person that likes being happy and seeing others find happiness.  A real inspiration in a usually drab world.  Katy was always a kind person and I hope she always is able to stay that way.  Speaking of me, I hope I stay that way as well.

     Katy has been a very good influence on me especially when I would get grumpy about stuff.  Just because everyone else gets grumpy doesn’t mean that Katy has to be grumpy too.  That’s inspiration as well.

     But yeah, wouldn’t it be nice to hear all the stories behind the philosophy instead of trying to understand just the philosophy itself?  Here it is, the events around the philosophy of “How would you feel if someone did that to you?”  That’s life.

     Year after year and time after time stuff happens.  And what about that dream I had in 1994 when I went to sleep at 2:30 AM and had a dream about battling it out with swords in a maze with someone, then after winning the battle, I came out of the maze and thrust my sword up into the ceiling and a voice said, “You have done well, in thirteen years you will have a son.”  This dream happened between 2:30 AM and 4:00 AM on October 3, 1994.  October 3, 2007, did I write about this son?

     But about six months after this dream I thought about stuff then had another dream based on the thought of “How will I know her if I meet her?”, which started another dream.  Around April 1995 was about when I had this dream, which was two women sitting in chairs by school lockers like at the high school I went to.  One was blonde and looked like a heavier Mary Beth and the other was dark haired and looked like a heavier Brandi.  Anyway, I asked in the dream, “How will I know this woman if I meet her?” or something like that then the dark haired woman stood up and put a piece of paper in one of the locker doors through the air slit on the bottom.  After this, both women walked away and at first I tried to just open the door but then after it wouldn’t open, I turned the dial and pulled the handle until it opened.  After opening the door I pulled out what appeared to be like a school hall pass with the name Mary K. Wilder written on it in signature form.

     Here it is 2009, no Mary K Wilder or any reasonable or unreasonable facsimile.  Any idea why?  Me either.  Stuff just happens I guess.  That’s life.

     And is this leading to another story of Doris and Paul and when Paul died Doris put her baby up for adoption?  What about 2010?  Any ideas?  2011?

     More 2009 stories I guess.  How about this one.  I get a trip to drive around some off duty police officers.  On the last stop of the night we pull into a totally nude bar.  At this bar a couple early to mid twenties aged guys ask if I want to buy some pot (marijuana).  I tell the guys that I’m not interested and that I’m driving around a bunch of off duty cops on their night off.  Next thing I know these guys are asking one of the cops if he wants to buy some pot.  No, they didn’t get busted because as the cop said, “I’m off duty and out of uniform, do you know how much extra paper work that would be?”

     On another bar hop I had a bachelorette party with the bride’s wedding party.  At the end of the night a couple of the girls decided to flash me their chests but as luck would have it…  It was outside the hotel and when they flashed the elderly bell hop of the hotel came out.  Afterwards, the bell hop kept saying, “I din’t see nothin’”.

     How about this one…  Another bar hop but this one was in a full sized school bus.  Party bus 46 as it became known for the night.  We started out in a neighboring area then went to my hometown just after.  It was a pretty full bus and the people on the bus were having a good time.  At about 10 or 11 PM, the one who booked the bus decided to leave my hometown and head back to the area where the bus started from.  When leaving next thing we know there is a row of about 9 county sheriffs cars and one local police car with all their lights on behind us.  I pull over and start talking with one of the sheriffs.  The sheriff tries to tell me that it is illegal to have alcohol on the bus.  I proceed to call and wake up my boss who answers his phone.  The sheriff makes his speech and my boss answers back, “It is a private charter”.  What really amazed me was that I had a bus load of people that were obviously drunk acting better than an irate local cop that was swearing up a storm at a bunch of drunks that were behaving better than the cop was.  Really bad scene.  After talking with my boss on the phone, the one sheriff grabbed the foul mouthed local cop off the bus and asked us to leave.  We left.

     But that is that about the area I live in.  A bunch of drunks are more well behaved than a cop is.  Was the cop ticked off because a bunch of guys weren’t driving drunk so that the cop could pick them up?  Was the cop ticked off because the people on my bus could drink beer and he couldn’t?  Don’t know but the local foul-mouthed cop seemed more interested in just confiscating the beer from my people than anything else.  So maybe this bad cop had been shut off at the local pub for not paying his tab and was now trying to shake down a bunch of considerate intoxicants to get some beer.  Only the local cop knew for sure but I wasn’t going to ask.  Yeah, we left and the reason why I had the sheriff talk to my boss is because I had told my boss how bad it was with the cops in my area but my boss didn’t believe me.  I was and still am proud of my bus load of drunks that act better than the local cop that was out to get free beer I guess.  Whatever and what a night.  Party bus 46.

     Take this to heart.  If there is an accident on a four lane highway on the OTHER side of the highway during an ice storm, do NOT completely stop on a corner on the highway to watch or YOU may end up being another accident.  It took 4 left 360s and two right 360s in the highway to get me to stop and avoid hitting a couple retards, who had just plain STOPPED on a blind corner in the middle of the highway to watch the cops and ambulances deal with an accident on the OTHER side of the highway.  The ‘retards’ were damned lucky and the rescue crews on the other side knew as well.  If it hadn’t been for some quick maneuvering on my part, my big solid total heavy metal van would have totally annihilated these two retards stopped on the highway during an ice storm.  Don’t do it.  Do NOT just plain stop on a highway without expecting to commit suicide or something.  Stupid people.  Well, USAns really.

     Hey what about 2010 too?  What about beyond?  Alright you talked me into 2010 at least.  We have a large group of guys that we take care of that live down south but come up north every other week to work up here.  One time there were supposed to be 17 guys and only 11 showed up.  I gave a list of names to Lori and asked her to do a roll call which she did.  The guys lined right up to the work counter and answered back as Lori read off their names.  We found out who the 6 were and left it to Lori and Glenn to look for these 6 during the night on later flights.  Bless the workers’ hearts because one of the workers mentioned to either Lori or Glenn that there was another worker supposed to come in as well.  The worker’s name of course was “Hiney” and it was written in on the ‘roll call’ sheet.  So for the rest of the night Glenn and Lori were looking for hiney but didn’t find him.  Hiney was a ‘no show’ and I imagine if a hiney would have shown up he would have been arrested for indecent exposure or such.  I showed the sheet to the boss the next day and I couldn’t stop laughing.  The boss just rolled his eyes and tossed the paper out.

     About two weeks later was April First or “April Fool’s Day” so why not.  The local boss for these guys would call a roll call then leave.  After the boss left I made it look like I had talked to the boss about something (but I hadn’t really).  Next I announced to the bus, “I think we’re still missing two guys yet.  Joseph Konyu?  (No answer).  Robert Hiney? (still no answer).”  Then I announced, “OK, it’s April Fool’s Day and surely you must have heard of joke on you (Joe Konyu) before?  But we gotta get going so you’ll have to look for hiney in your spare time.”  A little chuckle and off we went.

     People will never seem to amaze you either.  I was driving in a city a little north of the airport when I came to a congested intersection.  I can’t pick on blondes after this one.  Anyway, a guy who had shaved his hair off the top of his head so that people didn’t know he had a ‘bald spot’ happened to have figured out a way to roll his van over on its side at an intersection where you can’t go more than 10 miles an hour.  The guy who rolled the van over went to pull his hair out and apparently had forgotten that he had shaved his head bald.  I guess blondes aren’t so bad but bleach can work miracles I guess as in the next story.

     A while after this I was driving a guy to the airport and since he was from down south I asked him about how he felt about us northerners and our driving.  The guy answered back with the comment of “I’d dare say about 99% of the drivers up north drive pretty well.” Or something to this effect.  A little while later we come to a red traffic signal behind a pickup truck.  Next, the pickup truck pulls off the side of the road then back on the road again.  The pickup truck then almost does a complete circle underneath the traffic light then goes down the road to the left.  Boy that guy driving the pickup must have been something else.  But wait, that's not a guy but a bleached blonde woman that probably realized there was a sale on bleach at the grocery store on the road down the left.  Some people.

     Why not roll the boss’s eyes some more.  The boss had got some new hats for us employees and I made the sarcastic comment of “Cool, these have the same texture as a sanitary napkin.”  And of course Terry speaks up and says, “I picked them out.”  Yes, once again, my boss’s eyes rolled to the back of his head.  What do you expect from a Terry and the Tampon story anyway?

     How about rent-a-car slot 28?  Well, this guy had pulled up facing the wrong way directly under a one way sign.  He parked the car and then turned the keys in to the rental company.  The sales agent asked where he had parked the car and the guy answered “slot 28”.  The agent later went out and moved the car to the rental lot.  So the next time you see a car parked in the taxi lane facing the wrong way in a one way lane at an airport remember that this is rental parking slot 28.

     And once in a while you deliver luggage to someone that is not able to get to their door so you call to leave a message.  I start the message, “This is Ace from [company] and I left the luggage by the door between the house and the garage.”  Next I here a german sounding woman’s voice over the other end saying, “Petsy, petsy”.  So I try to repeat the message again and again she answers back, “Petsy, petsy”.  I then have no choice but to say, “Thank you (pause until she hangs up) have a nice day.”  You never know.

     What is wrong with highway construction workers anyway?  If you walk across a 55 mph highway without looking of course YOU ARE GOING TO BE HIT BY A CAR OR TRACTOR TRAILER!  A freaking orange vest does not make anyone invincible last I knew.  Common sense says “look both ways before you cross a street let alone a busy highway”.  Speaking of orange vested idiots…

     Then for some strange reason a flagman wonders why people are upset at him because traffic is held up for ten minutes while he talks to his buddy in a tan pickup truck.  There is a flagman by the airport that we nicknamed “Jackass” because this jack ass would stand in the middle of the lane wondering why you didn’t run his dumb ass over because he was flagging you on while standing in the middle of the lane so you couldn’t get around him without hitting his dumb ass.  So when a passing motorist named Tony yelled out the window, “Get out of the way you jackass.” The name Jackass stuck with this guy.

     Finally, a couple more work related stories.  First, the boss, Gregg, had called up his accountant to check on financial matters within the company.  Sometimes you don’t plan a practical joke, they just happen.  This was such a case.  The boss and the accountant needed their privacy in these matters so the boss just said to us employees, “When this person comes, I need everyone out of the office so that we can get this done.”  The boss was also smart enough not to let the others know that this was the accountant to keep stuff away from prying ears.  So this well dressed businessman was conferring in private with our boss.  What rumors (ha ha).

     So yes rumors started that these secret meetings (three or four in all) were because our boss had “had enough of the nonsense” and was going to sell the company to someone else.  With this rumor came the inevitable “who will get fired?”  Then came “who would be left working?”  Will he fire the whole staff and start fresh?  We are a bunch of bums and can’t do anything right so what chance do we have?  If someone else takes over then we’ll have to actually work, whatever shall we do because we don’t know how to work.

     The boss figured something was amiss because all of a sudden the staff was being super nice to him.  So the boss asked me privately what was going on and why was the staff being nice to him.  So I told the boss, “I don’t know who the guy is but everyone thinks he’s here to buy the company and they’re afraid of losing their jobs.  This is too funny.  All these guilt trips coming out about being ‘bad’ employees and such.  Funny stuff.  Please don’t tell them who this guy is because it would get back to ‘normal’ again around here if you do.”

     So of course the boss told them that it was just the accountant and they were reviewing the books.  Then everyone went back to being their normal messed up selves again forgetting about the guilt trips and such as expected.  But for about two weeks the boss didn’t have to yell or threaten employees to get off their lazy asses and get stuff done.  Yes, something was definitely amiss during these two weeks.  And yes, my fellow employees were starting to turn on me, Mr. Perfect, because I wasn’t worried like the rest.  I enjoy “bustin’ my hump” so what did I need to be worried about anyway.  People thought I knew but I was in the dark like the rest of them and I just didn’t have a guilty conscience about stuff.

     Oh well, another story.  A person called the office and asked to be picked up in the morning for a flight.  The boss answered and arranged a time of 4:30 am and scheduled it accordingly.  Next, this same person calls again asking if the time could be moved up earlier and the boss said no to the person.  Then the boss explained that the airport personnel are not there before 5:00 am but if the person wanted to cancel and find an earlier ride with another company then fine.  The boss then hung up with this person because this person was becoming obnoxious.  Next the boss gets a call from HIS garage talking about a complaint from an individual wanting an earlier ride.  Why someone would try to rat on a boss to a mechanic is beyond my comprehension but it happened in 2010 where I work.  USAns, I tell ya.

     A final story.  We also do a shuttle for planes to the gate because the runway at the airport is under construction.  Not very many people use the shuttle so it is many times empty.  One time on one of my shuttle runs however, one of the operations personnel was there and about sixteen people got onto the shuttle after coming off of the plane.  About five seconds later everyone was gone off the bus and walking to the gate.  All because one guy asked the question, “Do we have to ride the shuttle?”  and all I said was “no” in a nice, calm voice and everyone just emptied out of the shuttle bus in five seconds flat.  I told the operations officer later that it wasn’t that they didn’t want to ride the bus, but they exited quickly because of my body odor.

     And for those that keep trying to tell me to leave work at the airport and go home.  I just have this to say.  “I am home.  How can I leave?  The city I come from is terrible and I feel better here at the airport.”

     And a story for 2011 since it took so long to gather the money to get this book printed.  A guy had a pickup truck with a dead battery in the airport parking lot.  I got my car and my jumper cables and went to help start this guy’s pickup truck but could not get the pickup truck to start.  After trying so long, we gave up and started to disconnect the cables.  My car was still running and we disconnected the cables from the pickup truck first.  Next I disconnected the jumper cables, which were ONLY connected to just my car, and after disconnecting the cables from my car, my car stalled.  Hard to believe my car was kept alive by a set of jumper cables that weren’t connected to anything and just laying on the ground, but it happened.  And I even had a witness that couldn’t believe it either.  Oh well.  Darnder things have happened I guess.

     And what about the rest of the “Kelly and the different time zone” story?  Well, not mentioned in the book, but after this we learned that the airlines cover delivery within a one hundred mile radius and anything outside that radius has to be approved by a superior at the airline.  So, yes, the State of New York is definitely not within a 100 mile radius of the State of Illinois, but they are definitely in different time zones.  Could one possibly circumvent the time/space continuum and known physics to deliver luggage across such a vast distance in five (5) minutes, or am I missing something and need to get ‘The New Math’ book?

     And for the future… The mayan calendar ends in 2012, not the world.  Thousand years of peace, USAns, again?

     Ever thought of putting a sign on someone’s car saying “Sorry I hit your car” when you didn’t hit their car?  Good way to check for dents and such I guess but sometimes there’s just that little devil that has to speak out inside ya.

     Like that christmas present with the tag that said “follow directions carefully”.  Three boxes wrapped one inside the other.  First unwrapping package has “Open other end” on all sides but the one side that says “Open this end”.  Open first box, second wrapped box with same as first on outside of wrapping.  Open second box.  Enter the third and final box with “Open other end” on all six sides of the box.  Think about it.  So curious person opens box despite “Open other end” on all six sides and one of three plastic coiled snakes pop out at them with a sign saying “I told you to open the other end.”

     What’s life without stories?  Have fun.  And yes, the meek are the ones who wouldn’t do anything to someone else that they wouldn’t want done to them regardless of what the other person does or has done.  Any more questions?  Have even more fun.  Legends, phooey.  Stuff happens.  It’s how we learn to deal with this stuff that matters.  About time I opened my own mouth on all this so to speak.

     Things have got way out of hand or have they?  You decide.  Legend.  Fact.  What really does matter?  You.  Me.  The planet Earth.  Beyond.  You decide.  We decide. Together?  Apart?  Who knows?  Who cares?  Really?  Idealistically?  Truthfully!  Honestly!!

 Chapter Two – The Beginning and the End of Life

     In the beginning there is an end and in the end there was a beginning.  It is all the events that happen in the middle that people, including myself, seem to have problems dealing with.  By understanding life and what is written in this book, it will all add up and make sense in the middle of it all.

     In the beginning, life starts.  In the end, life stops.  But are there things that happen before life starts and after life ends?  Yes.  We are not alone and there are other lives whether we like it or not.  Can people coexist or are people destined to clash with one another?  The answer is yes, as we coexist we will clash with one another.  But clashing is caused by making a mistake and not following a simple guideline.  The guideline to coexisting is not to do something to someone else that we would not like to have done to us.  There is good and evil and we all know this.  It is not good to do something to someone else that we would not like done to ourselves.  It all adds up.  Evil things are caused by selfishness, greed, want, and lust.  Evil people lead to clashes.  Evil people do evil things; good people do good things.  Honestly, are you good or evil?  The answer is yes, people are a combination of both good and evil.  The solution is learning to sort things out ourselves together.  Coexisting is existing together.  Why can’t we exist together?  We can if we learn from our mistakes of making evil and move on to make good.

     There are rewards for being good and punishments for being evil.  We are both rewarded and punished since we are both good and evil.  Why both?  Because every person will make a mistake in their lives and do something evil.  That is how we learn.  Do we have to make mistakes?  No, but we do.  Until we learn, we make mistakes.  We are given life and with that life we have the propensity to do both good and evil.  Until we do anything, we do not learn.  Doing good or doing evil is how we learn.  Knowledge comes after we learn.  Have you learned yet or are you still making mistakes?  To coexist we need to do only things to others that we would like done to ourselves and learn not to do things to others that we would not like done to us.  That is the knowledge of good and evil within all of us and it is by choice that we learn or continue to make mistakes.  By choice.

     People like good people and people do not like evil people.  It is a choice to either coexist or not to coexist.  We have all done good and evil.  That is our nature.  When first given life, we do not know the difference between good and evil.  We only learn through others who are caught in the middle between beginning and end like ourselves.  Life starts at the beginning and life stops at the end.  It is what you do inbetween beginning and end that decides whether life was worthwhile or not.  Why not make your life worthwhile and do something good or evil along the way.  I say do only good and coexist and stop the evil.  Peace.  Every person with knowledge has the ability to do both good and evil.  It is by choice the path we choose.  Choose well.  Share your life.  Choose wrong, keep your life to yourself.  Such is life in the middle.

     So learn well.  A good life is led by those who realize that it is not good to do something to someone else that you would not like done to you.  An evil life is led by those who do things to others that they would not like done to themselves.  That is the choice.  We all know this choice.  We all choose.  It all adds up, both good and evil.

     Now, we describe Heaven as being good and Hell as being evil.  But we also know that we have life and we are not in Heaven or Hell.  Is your life heavenly or hellish or both?  Everyone makes mistakes but knowledgeable people learn not to repeat those mistakes.  Correct?  After reading this you have the knowledge to be good or evil.  There is no inbetween.  Good can not be evil and evil is not good.  There is no middle ground.  Thinking of yourself as well as others is good.  Thinking of just yourself is evil.  You learn this.  You know this.  The end.

 Chapter Three – Before and After Life

     There are people born before you were born and will be people born after your life ends.  Cool, huh?  Where do we come from?  We are all different and come from ourselves eventually.  In flesh we are flesh; in spirit we are spirit.  We develop from the beginning of who we were to the end of what we are, and all points inbetween.

     We are always in the middle.  We are products of our own imaginations and we are all unique.  All people get what they get.  To explain, a person has a toothache yet has not done anything wrong.  Why would a person who has done nothing wrong to someone be in pain?  We are flesh, not spirit, while in the middle.  We are good and bad.  The toothache is not because we have done good or bad, but because we are of the flesh.

     In the flesh, we are both good and bad and both good and bad things happen.  Flesh is perfekt, spirit is perfect.  In the flesh, pain happens to both good and bad people.  In spirit, pain only happens to bad spirits.  Your flesh is not your spirit only a reflection of that spirit.  Flesh dies, your spirit is what lives.  Without that spirit, the flesh dies.  When the flesh dies, the spirit leaves the flesh.  A toothache is neither punishment nor reward for deeds done or undone.  A toothache is flesh not spirit.  The person has a toothache, but their spirit does not.  The spirit will exist without pain if this person has led a good life before, during, and after the toothache.  As said, the spirit is not flesh and the flesh is not the spirit.  Flesh and spirit are not the same.

     There are light spirits and dark spirits.  The more evil a spirit contains, the less light that spirit can emit.  Skin color is of the flesh, not the radiance of the spirit.  A person with dark skin color can have a radiant (lots of light) spirit, while a person with light colored skin can have a very dim (dark colored, less light) spirit.  So remember well, skin color has nothing to do with spirit color.

     Spirit and flesh are not the same thing but do come from the same being.  The spirit is what gives the flesh life and when the spirit leaves the flesh loses life and dies just as when the flesh dies, the spirit leaves the flesh.  A spirit does not die.  The flesh is what dies.  Once a spirit exists, it exists for however long eternity exists.  Flesh is of the Earth and returns to the Earth.  Spirit is not flesh nor is flesh spirit.  While having “life in the middle”, flesh and spirit coexist together but separate upon death of the flesh.  The flesh dies.  The spirit is what lives with or without the flesh.

     Adam and Eve only ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, not from the Tree of Life.  Separation of spirit and flesh is the result of eating from only one of the trees and not the other.  Not good or bad, just the way it is.  Bad things of the flesh do not affect the spirit.  Bad things of the spirit do not affect the flesh.  Judge not others unless you are willing to judge yourself as well.  You get what you get.  Just as others get what they get.

     Good people get what they want and evil people find a way to get what they want.  Good people enjoy everything.  Evil people never have enough.  Heaven and Hell.  Where are you living?  Are you selfish or are you coexisting?  Are you both selfish and coexisting?  Spirits are either selfish or coexisting, but flesh is a mixture of both.  We are all made up of good and evil thoughts while in the flesh, but which do you follow and act upon?  Do you do good and think of others or do you perpetuate evil and think of only yourself?  Yes, it is YOUR choice.  Heaven, Hell, and a bit of both can exist on earth by choice.  It is also our choices that decide.  Can both Heaven and Hell coexist?  The answer is no.  Heaven can not be heavenly with hellish thoughts just as Hell can not be hellish with heavenly thoughts.  But Heaven and Hell are before and after life, in the spirit world.  We are flesh, caught in the middle, and have choices to make.  Heaven knows how to be heavenly and Hell knows how to be hellish and we are caught in the middle.  Or are we really caught in the middle?  We have the choice to make the middle heavenly or hellish.  It is left up to us.  We are the ones, in the flesh, here to decide.  We are the ones caught in the middle.  Before life and after life it is all decided for us in Heaven and Hell.  During life, it is up to us to choose to make our lives more heavenly or hellish for ourselves and those around us.

     “You can’t lie your way into Heaven” is the truth and you can surely lie your way into Hell if you would like.  Honestly.  Perceptions are just that, perceptions.  Reality is reality.  You can believe what you want, but the truth will always be the truth.  An untruth will always be an untruth.  How do you know the difference then?  Knowledge.  Knowledge is the link between truth and reality.  We all have different knowledge and can learn from one another, or choose not to learn.  By choice.  We are not in Heaven or Hell but we are given the choice in life of which path to follow.  In Heaven there is only knowledge of good.  In Hell there is only knowledge of evil.  On Earth, in flesh, in life, in the middle, there is possibility of both good and evil.  It is left up to those living to decide which paths to take both good and evil.  A good path will have good consequences and an evil path will have bad consequences.  You can not go down an evil path and have good consequences.  The problem for us in the middle has been when people think only of themselves and not of the consequences of others.  People that go down a destructive path destroy themselves as well as those around them.  Evil people leave messes that others have to clean up and deal with.  Evil people do not care about others and do not think of others.  Evil people just think of themselves.  There is nothing wrong with thinking of yourself but there is something wrong about not thinking of others at the same time.

     It is also said and needs to be explained about judge not others unless you wish to be judged yourself.  Think about that seriously.  Are you THE actual judge over all?  No, nor am I that I know of.  But there is someone in Heaven that reads seven words over a book then opens that book and if your name is in that book then you are allowed into Heaven.  If your name (or the name you state whether your own or not) is not written in this Book of Life then you are not allowed into Heaven.  We are of the flesh and not of the spirit yet and the flesh is NOT the spirit.  Just because someone may have done wrong in the flesh does not mean that they will do wrong in the spirit.  Just because someone feels they have done well in the flesh does not mean their spirit will enter into Heaven.  So before condemning someone to Hell or praising someone to Heaven remember that the flesh is not the spirit and we are not ones to judge on spiritual matters since we are just of the flesh at this time.  Faults of the flesh are not necessarily faults of the spirit just as faults of the spirit are not necessarily faults of the flesh.

     So then you are saying it is alright to just do what you want in the flesh since we are not yet spirit?  NO.  Definitely not.  If I were saying that then why repent and penance?  Precisely.  Think about it.  Think harder.  Do you know for sure that your name or someone else’s name is written in the Book of Life or not?  Precisely.  We are not ones to judge unless we are the ones that know.  How do we know?  Ask.  Ask again.  Still no answer then obviously we are not to know at this time.  Will we know eventually?  Yes.  When the time comes we will know but not before.  Is there anything wrong with not knowing everything?  You have the answer.  No.  There is nothing wrong with not knowing everything.  You can pray and believe all you want but whatever happens happens regardless.  Is it you that stretched the heavens above the earth and all that?  Precisely.  Think again.  If you ask for something that is to be it will be and if you ask for something that is not to be then it won’t be.

     Whatever is done can not be undone but mistakes can be corrected via, you got it, repent and penance.  Make amends.  It is easy to make mistakes but it is easier to try and do things right the first time without having to possibly redo it over and over again until you get it right.  But what about this Book of Life?  How does this book know who belongs in Heaven and who doesn’t?  Is Heaven supposed to be a place with turmoil and corruption and all that nice stuff that goes with selfishness and greed and want and lust?  Or is Heaven a nice place without all those messes?  So yes, this Book of Life sorts out the messes before they start.  In order to get into Heaven one must accept this fact that Heaven is a ‘nice’ place to live out eternity.  Is it nice to accuse those around you of bad things that you are actually guilty of?  No.  So I guess the true rule of “Don’t do something to someone else that you wouldn’t like done to you” is what really applies to who is written in the Book of Life and who is not.  The Book of Life is what knows who won’t be trouble throughout eternity.  The Book of Life knows by thoughts and deeds, and it is not material things, but thoughts, that carry through eternity (It is not what we have or don’t have, but how we behave towards one another that decides our fates.).

     All sins are the result of selfishness.  All things needed are provided in Heaven.  Selfish spirits are “on their own” in Hell.  Where would you rather spend eternity?  It is not your choice in the flesh but your spirit’s choice after the flesh.  A good spirit enters into Heaven.  A bad spirit goes to Hell.  All because of a little book that has seven words passed over it to see who is allowed into Heaven or not.  The seven words?  “Those who wish harm, shall blot out”.  Vengeance is mine not yours says the one without a name we can pronounce in the flesh.  The Book of Life is that vengeance.  Whosoever is written in the Book of Life shall be provided for in Heaven whereas those that are not written in the Book of Life shall suffer an eternity of pain, suffering, and torment in Hell.  Endless bliss.  Endless suffering.  It is chosen for our spirit throughout eternity.  But why pass words over this book to blot out those that would cause harm?  The Book of Life knows all including those that go to Heaven and those condemned to Hell.  By reciting these words over the Book of Life, the ones not allowed to pass into Heaven get blotted out and become unseen when the Book of Life is opened.

     And if it gets said, “Those seeking the future shall see all” and the Book of Life is opened thus would be revealed what is to come.  We are of the flesh and know of both good and evil.  The spirit knows only good or knows only evil.  By choice.  Like I will state, “The other person did something bad so you want to be bad like them?”  Why?  Do you like being evil?  That is where this leads to.  If you like being evil or if you like being good then there is a place for you throughout eternity.

     We are of the flesh and have knowledge of both good and evil.  When the flesh dies, the spirit leaves.  The spirit has only knowledge of good OR evil not both.  Which path have you honestly taken in life?  The Book of Life knows.  The Book of Life tells.  Repent, penance.  What kind of person are you anyway (flesh)?  What kind of spirit do you REALLY have (good or evil)?  Does it make sense yet?  In the flesh we have the ability for both good AND evil but the spirit is only good OR evil.  Angels, demons, pine trees, smart, dumb, worthwhile, worthless, whatever.  We were what we were when we were.  We are what we are when we are.  We will be what we will be when we will be.  Past.  Present.  Future.  Other.  Whatever.  The truth was, is, and will always be the truth.  Argue all you want with yourself but are you listening or is it falling on deaf ears?  Wait a minute, since when do books talk anyway?  Beats me?  Just thought I’d ask.  There is no formula or set of rules for asking.  You just ask.  There is no set standard for praying.  You just ask.  Ask and you shall receive and remember that many times the answer is no.  Things are the way they are.  Things change when they change whether we ask and pray or whether we don’t ask or don’t pray.  But what kind of person will you be after things change?  Better, worst, unchanged?  How should I know?  Just asking.  A talking book?  I guess anything is possible if you look at it the right way or the wrong way even.  What are you looking at anyway?  A book?  A mirror?  A path?  Yourself?  Others?  Blank space?  I thought so.  Time is time.  Are you wasting time?  Are you spending time?  Are you in a time out?  Are you in a time in?  Good times.  Bad times.  Inbetween times.  Day time.  Night time.  Dusk.  Dawn.  Anytime.  No time.  Out of time.  Plenty of Time.  What time is it anyway?  What is important really?  Think.  Time to move on I guess.

     But we are each our own person and are not in Heaven or Hell, so we each have our choices.  Each of these choices do affect others and anyone who does not see this is unknowing, foolish, and unwise.  Life is not perfect but is perfekt.  We also do not choose life because life just happens and we end up being stuck in the middle between Heaven and Hell.  We are not here by choice.  We just are in the flesh.  Just as we are not born with knowledge but we do have a choice to learn or not to learn if we so choose.  We have a choice to be honest or dishonest.  We have the choice to be heavenly or hellish.  Where are you at and where would you like to go?  Heaven, Hell, or somewhere in the middle?  I know I’m in the middle, but I would like for the middle to be as heavenly for EVERYONE as possible.  Heaven and Hell exist before life and exist after life.  Where is your life heading and why?  You now have the answer.  You have the choice to either play with yourself or to make love with another.  Which path are you on?  Have you tried another path?  To Hell with life.  To Heaven with life.  Just live.  Choices, choices.  Or has it already been decided for us?  Someone knows, do you?  So does Heaven and/or Hell truly exist anyway?  I know for sure and I know I am not in either place at the moment of this writing.  I also know I have choices but it is not my decision either way from where I came from or to where I go.  I am not before the beginning, at the beginning, at the end, or after the end.  I am just in the middle like so many others.  Thank you.

 Chapter Four – The Inseparable Church and State

     There is government and there is religion.  The government makes and enforces its laws.  The religious leaders provide moral support.  Why not combine the two?  To be a good leader requires many skills but most of all the best leaders preach about how good people don’t do bad things to others regardless of how others act and behave.  Would you wish to live somewhere where you were constantly accused of doing wrong just because you breathe in air?  Of course not.  Would you like to live in an area where if someone enters your home and you remove them from your home, then have the police arrest you for removing this unwanted person from your home, and while arrested the unwanted person returns and removes everything from your house?  Yes, this actually happened in the country where I live.  Also, would you want to live in a community where they punish you for having a boyfriend who sells illegal drugs?  You are not the one selling or dealing these drugs but the law wishes to punish you because your boyfriend sells and deals these drugs.  Yes, this actually happened as well to Julie’s best friend, Karen, who’s boyfriend was growing marijuana on her property without her knowing about it.  But why not punish people for what others do.  Because it is wrong, that’s why.

     Now for the basic precepts of Church and State, which I will call “The Church” in quotes because that is what I wish this new concept to be called, “The Church”.  First, we are all different and no two people are exactly alike.  We are not created equal and each of us has our own thoughts and ideas on how to live our lives both good and bad.  Both right and wrong.  Each according to our own.  But wouldn’t it be nice to have a community where people realize that regardless of what the government or religious leaders try to force down people’s throats, people could stand up and say, “Treat me as bad as you feel and do all your selfish and bad things that you feel you must do, but I am a good person and do not wish to be associated with a person or group that would do things to others that they would not like if it was done to them.”  If you do bad things to others that you would not like done to you then you are not part of our group again until you repent and do penance.  Repenting – admitting what was done.  Penance – make amends for what was done.  Those that belong, belong.  Those that do not, do not.  If you understand this then you belong to “The Church” and wish not harm to come to others including yourself.  Harm is doing something to someone else that you would not wish done to you.  Now define these harms, if you want, into different areas but still realize that a harm is a harm regardless of who it happens to.  All harms are harmful but to different degrees.

     But why not combine religion and government together?  Why not have a group of people, wherever they are, bound together by the premise that people should not harm one another?  Also, people can make mistakes and should own up to those mistakes if made.  A planned action is NOT a mistake.  A mistake is unplanned.  A good person plans to do good and a bad person plans to do bad.  A mistake is that a person does not see someone and accidentally brushes up against them.  The plan was to move somewhere else but an accident happened.  It was accidental and acknowledging this is acceptable with something like, “Oops, sorry, I didn’t see you there, are you alright?”  Some may laugh, some may cry, some may get furious, many may be indifferent.  Everyone is different.  Accidents happen.  How we deal with such things is known as integrity.  A person’s integrity is how well they can honestly deal with a situation.  What measures integrity then?  You guessed it.  If you do something to someone else that you would not like done to you then your integrity drops.  But what if you lie your way out of it?  You still know you lied and you can’t lie your way into Heaven can you?  You can try things but if at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail, again.  Break the rules and why not keep breaking them?

     What is so hard about religion and/or government accepting a simple precept such as “Why would you want to do something to someone else that you wouldn’t want done to you?”  Are you coexisting or are you being selfish?  Be honest.  Neither government nor religion have yet to honestly embrace this idea.  It has been heard but then twisted every direction except straight by governments and religions alike.  Church and State should be inseparable.  Why not?

     But these other religions and governments like to advertise with cards and such.  Call this new government and religion, “The Church”, and its members, the Meek.  Anyone that believes otherwise is easy to spot.  I can do anything to anybody just try to stop me.  Don’t need to stop you because who wants to be around a jerk like that?  But the difficult part is those that can stray.  Let them stray but stay away.  Honestly, no excuses only explanations.  But if someone likes being selfish then let them go enjoy themselves and leave everyone else out of it.  Things belong to people.  People can share other people’s time as well.

     But people do not belong to people but the best people can share a life together.  That is what marriage between man and woman is all about.  Coming together to start a family.  Learning to live with one another.  But why not have the man and woman combine names together as well?  A man with the last name of Jones and a woman with the last name of Smith or the family of Smith-Jones.  Girl children have the last name of Smith and boy children with the last name of Jones.  And if the children start a family…  But should not a family be about sharing a life together and not about losing your identity?  Problem solved.  What problem?  Oh well.  But really, why not break away and be yourself instead of giving into others’ whims?  Darned if I know.

     But instead of trying to go through all that is wrong why not simplify instead?  We are all different and can either be selfish or coexist.  Our choice.  We can choose to do bad things or not to do bad things.  Our choice.  We can choose to do good things or not to do good things.  Our choice.  Choices, choices, choices.  That is life.  Do you feel you can do whatever you want to whomever you want?  Do you feel bad if you realize that you did something that hurt someone else or not?  One thing is clear, a Meek is someone that would not do something to someone else that they would not wish done to them.  Always choices.  Bad people love company, a Meek does not give bad people that pleasure.  Bad people also need others to join them so they can say, “I’m not so bad, so and so did it too…”  Leave these people alone and don’t give them the satisfaction of sinking you down to their level.  Why would you want to hurt someone anyway?  They hurt you so you want to be bad like them?  Are you crazy?  Think about it and think on “The Church” and the Meek.

     A building is just a building until someone attaches value to it.  How valuable is an empty house?  Put people in the house and the value increases based on the value of the people.  No people, no value.  What good is a temple with no one to worship there?  But why not build one anyway since we got the money?  Whatever.  But people are what is sacred not the buildings they occupy.  When the building becomes more important than the person, you have problems.  The USA has problems since we have a white house and a capitol building that are apparently more important than the people that inhabit them.  And since when is a temple more sacred than those that inhabit that temple?  Again we have problems in the USA.  Go figure.  Do the math.

     It isn’t for everyone but I’m also not one for looking in a mirror.  I know I got body parts but I like women looking at them not me.  I’m not into myself like that.  But others seem impressed, I’m not.  Put a great woman’s body in the mirror and I’ll be there in the mirror too.  Hey, we can both look, OK?  The choice is ours.  And if a man can get another man or a woman can get another woman pregnant then I’ll consider that “starting a family together”.  Notice I said starting and not inheriting a family.  I am sterile, remember, so starting a family is not an option for me either and I know and I understand that.  I can inherit a family but not start one.  So why am I not a homosexual then?  So many questions but the answer is that I’m into women not men.  That’s the way I am and you?  But what does this have to do with governments and religion and all that?  Well, governments and religions in the USA keep bringing this stuff up all the time it seems and damned if I know why either.  Why can’t government and religion coexist too.  Damned if I know either.  And people should make their own choices but should also be smart enough to realize that they have to live with the consequences of those choices.

     I just know we are all different and that I am a Meek of “The Church” that doesn’t believe in harming others or myself.  And you?  Do what you want I guess.  It’s your life.  My life is my own as well.  Whatever.

 Chapter Five – The Crazy Art of Psychiatry and Psychology Debunked

     Bad behaviors are learned.  Good behaviors are learned.  There is no pill or other such substance to help someone learn.  Knowledge takes time and patience.  There is no wonder drug for this process but what about wonder knowledge?  Unfortunately taking shortcuts misses the minor details that strengthen and support the major details.  But yes, honestly, the process can be sped up greatly by condensing the major points to make them easier to remember, while adding the support to strengthen and better explain the message.  So major point, there is no wonder drug to fix behavioral problems.  There may be wonder knowledge however.  

     Stop and think about what you are doing and what others are doing.  Is hitting someone or something teaching others that hitting can solve problems?  Yes and no.  Both.  Hitting can stop a problem on one end but it ends up being who can hit the hardest and cause the most damage, not right or wrong.  What are you teaching others?  If you are teaching people to hit and act up then don't be too surprised if others act and do things just like you are doing.  Can you honestly live with yourself?  How do you think others feel being around you when you act like that?  How are you acting anyway?  Is it good or bad or other?  

     You don’t calm down a situation by acting impatient and frustrated.  Growing up, I was surrounded by a bunch of others that were impatient and frustrated.  At first, I went with the flow and did as others did.  After meeting Julie, I changed that and saw things differently than others.  Would I want Julie as well as myself to be impatient or frustrated?  Mine and Julie’s parents were impatient and frustrating to deal with.  Step away.  Walk away.  Calm things down.  Relax.  Drugs wear off.  Behavior modification doesn’t wear off.  Julie and I were quiet people.  Those around us were impatient and frustrated and very annoying.  Julie and I tried to raise our parents to do well but they just would not listen.  You know how parents are.  Always thinking they are right because they are older and bigger than you and can push and bully you around.

     What is that about the Meek shall inherit the Earth?  And who are these Meek anyway?  Are you coexisting or being selfish?  What do you mean “the new math” and “it all adds up”.  And what is this with, “you get what you give” and “you reap what you sow”?  I am trying to teach, “give better than what you get until you can give no more”.  Bad people want you to like them.  Good people are better than that.  Be the best you can be or be the worst.  My choice.  Your choice.  Think.  Then do.  Are you comfortable with being a Meek or do you look for excuses to be bad or evil?  

     Behavior modification.  Because someone else gets impatient and frustrated doesn’t mean that I have to be that way too.  Thank you Katy for reminding me of this recently.  People all around Katy would be grouchy and grumpy yet Katy would still be the nice and kind Katy that people remember.  Be yourself.  Until you realize and break your cycles, you will keep looking for others to blame and make yourself frustrated, impatient and annoying like you are used to.  Bad people need someone to blame and complain about besides themselves because in their eyes they never do anything wrong.  It is a constant cycle with bad people.  What is wrong with behaving good when things go bad?  Impatience and frustration are signs that YOU are doing things wrong, not others.  Hint, hint, you.  The reader.  And hey, I’m reading and writing this as well.  I’m not immune either.  When feeling impatient or frustrated:  step back; take a walk; whatever works to help you calm down.  When impatient or frustrated, you are actually always the problem, not others.  Impatience and frustration always lead to bad behavior by you.  Stop it before it starts.  If you think people get calm and relaxed around a ranting and raving nutcase then think again.  An angry, impatient and/or frustrated person will make mistakes.  Guaranteed.  Think about it.  

     Do you wish to be bad?  Why are you frustrated and impatient in the first place?  Is something or someone else better than you or passed your comprehension?  Or are you allowing someone or something to get the better of you?  Probably both, right?  Everyone is perfekt but as I told Mike the bartender in New Mexico; “Take two sticks of diney mite and that’ll cure all your problems.”  I think Mike understood that violence really isn’t the answer and what we really need is “a good ol’ butane regulator”.  But then too, blowing stuff up is cool and permanent.  You can’t have everything I guess.  Who would want everything anyway?  All that junk out there.  Where would you put it all?  Also, the number of people wanting to borrow something would be very overwhelming don’t you think?

     And all this has what to do with psychiatrists and psychologists?  How can you help someone without being honest?  I can say right and wrong and good and bad whereas a psychiatrist and psychologist are not allowed.  A psychiatrist and psychologist are told to be inactive instead of proactive.  Nonjudgmental.  Not for me.  I am not one to just listen and be inactive or provide medications when behavior modification is needed.  Medications for an inherent condition like hyperactivity, possibly to slow down adrenaline flow, but not for behavior problems.  I have a conscience and I also know of right and wrong and good and evil.  I can not avoid to appease.  That is why I wrote this section.  To help and not keep covering up for others.  I am not like a priest with a thousand “rosaries” or “Hail Mary’s” or like a government to lock up and throw away the key nor like a counselor/psychiatrist/psychologist that will avoid or sidestep the issue.  I am me and I will say you did something wrong and try to find a way for you to repent, admit you made a mistake, and do penance, try to find a way to make amends for that mistake as best as possible.  But my making amends will never be just saying or doing nonsense, but to attempt to set things where they should have been if the mistake had never been made.  I guess “punishment to fit what was done and to try and undo what was done as best as possible.”  Also known as trying to coexist.

     Another thing, if you hurt someone and they don’t want you around then leave them alone.  Honesty is key as well.  If someone says they have been hurt by someone but the hurt was actually done by someone else then…  You can’t ask someone to expect to repent or pay penance for being falsely blamed or accused.  That is not right.  I am not one for punishment just for punishment’s sake.  Just as I should hold myself accountable, others should hold themselves accountable as well.  We all know right from wrong but just because everyone else does something that is wrong does not mean I have to as well.  Just because someone is accused of doing something does not mean that they did it as well.  Truth, honesty, penance, repent and “How would you like it if it was done to you?”  And how would you like to be falsely accused of something you know you didn’t do?  Even better, how about people accusing you of bad things but not asking if they are true or not?  What kind of person are you anyway?

     Now think about this.  You have to help yourself, no one can do it for you.  That is wrong as well.  Good guidance is always helpful but only the person who has done a wrong can truthfully do the penance and repentance for that wrong.  And the Meek shall inherit the Earth whilst psychologists and psychiatrists try to find a deep enough hole to crawl into to keep the world from falling in on them.  Such is life.

     How honest are you?  Probably not as honest as you wish everyone thought you were.  But you should also move on after repentance and penance and learn from there.  Holding someone accountable for a mistake for life is an option and needed in some cases, but holding a grudge for life against someone that repented and did penance is bad as well.  And there you have it, psychology and psychiatry debunked.  It took quite a while and a bit of thinking.  But religion, government, shrinks, people in general including myself.  Sometimes included.  Sometimes left out.  That’s life.  But is there really anything wrong with trying to make life enjoyable for everyone as much as possible?  OK, leave out everyone that’s ever done anything bad including that guy that knocked over the money changer’s tables in the temple long ago.  I’m excluded as well so don’t feel so bad.

     Not all people are the same.  Not every psychologist/psychiatrist/shrink is a hypocrite or are they?  I understand the concept of getting the client to admit things on their own but the problems come about when after admission, nothing is provided to move forward.  Hence, “Regardless what another person does, I do not wish to do something to someone else that I would not wish done to me.”  Forward thinking.  Backward thinking of “It is not really wrong to do whatever you want to whomever you want because you can get away with it.” is not an acceptable honest answer.  What to do?  Penance and repentance.  A person did wrong but having a shrink throw a fit is even worse since the shrink is supposed to be better than that but is not.  Intimidation.  You can say all you want but do you really mean what you say?  What to do when a shrink needs more help than their client?  Write a book I guess.  Chapter One, We’ve all made mistakes.  Learn what?  I like torturing others to try and get them to do what I want them to do.  But I don’t like it when they get the better of me and make me look like the uncaring jerk that I really am.  Who am I really?  Who are you really?  Just thought I would ask.  It is the personal thoughts, not the person themselves, that need to change.  What is in a name anyway?  It is what you make of it both good and bad.  And how many people do you know that admit to being bad when asked?  And how many people do you know that are bad people but don’t want others to find out so that they can get away with more bad things.  Gossip.  Honesty.  Truth.  Self realization.  You can’t make a person change their thoughts for the better, but until those bad thoughts change to good, what can be done?  Ask?

     More gossip.  More honesty.  More truth.  More bullshit.  More time wasted.  No more.  A name is associated with the thoughts and deeds of that name.  The truth will out.  Say what you will.  The truth will out.  And a dishonest test gives dishonest results.  You can’t “trick” someone into being honest.  What is wrong with setting a good example?  In a society bent on doing wrong, plenty.  How many times do you hear “If someone does something bad, do something bad back and see how they like it.”  WRONG.  Set a good example and don’t cave in to being bad like them.  But what good is having power if you can’t use it?  What dignity?  What honor?  Cash cash cash.  Sell your soul at bargain basement prices.  Belittle everyone else at your own gain.  You reap what you sow.  And just planting bullshit without seeds piles more bullshit.  What are you hiding anyway?  Yourself?  What is so wrong about being a bad person that does things to others that they wouldn’t like done to them?  But even worse, why would you want to be like them and do something bad as well?  Break the cycle.  If you are truly good then you are better than that otherwise you have to become dishonest like them.  Is it really worth it?  I thought not. Why can’t people learn to get the better of themselves?  Maybe you are right now.  THINKE (Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything).  Learn.

     Do we get what we deserve in life?  I have fun anyway and you?  So many questions but actually it seems to come down to the same answer all the time, doesn’t it?  Would you like it if someone did to you what you are doing now?  I also hope there is more to your life than just reading books but maybe not.  So go check on dinner and make sure the toilet seat is down.  I’m sure there’s a whole world of stuff out there to do that doesn’t even require books.  Let the psychiatrists and psychologists bury their noses in books because they have nothing better to do since they know there is no good or bad and all that.  But even so, doing something bad to a psychiatrist or psychologist is not bad at all.  Just ask them.  Admit it, there is good, bad, and evil isn’t there?  But a Meek will never teach you that lesson will they?  You’ll have to debunk yourselves.  Repent and penance.  I’ve said it now and I mean what I say.

     But what about someone with a head trauma that doesn’t intend to hurt but does anyway?  What, you weren’t quick enough to do a “take down” to secure the head trauma patient so that they didn’t hurt someone else or even themselves?  Rosemary’s youngest daughter, Marie, had brain trauma and would unknowingly punch, kick, bite, and such.  Simple restraining works while striking back does not.  Marie did something bad, like biting, but was not aware of why it was wrong to bite someone.  Memory fades in and out especially with medications.  Instead of punish, protect.  A head trauma patient can unknowingly hurt others and themselves yet not realize it.  What to do?  Just remain as calm as possible to avoid as much confusion as possible, grab lightly around the wrists, fold arms around their front while you remain behind in an X shape, wrap legs around legs and “take down” gently to “restrain” the patient.  Works every time and Marie would calm right down.  Strike back and you are repeating what Marie did, which would justify Marie’s actions and allow Marie to continue.  It takes longer for Rosemary’s middle daughter, Roberta, however, because Roberta’s acting up was intentional.

     But why hurt when you don’t have to?  Good question.  Any answers?  No more excuses.  Answers.

 Chapter Six – The New Math

     Many times things just happen.  Take for instance, how I learned to subtract larger numbers from smaller numbers as in 13 – 7 or 7 – 3 = 4 and 10 – 4 = 6 so 13 – 7 = 6.  We use the base 10 numbering system hence when you subtract twice you are adjusting the value around the base 10 system.  Yeah, I still can’t explain it that well in words, but mathematically it is simple for me to understand.  And the simplest part is that I only need to learn the subtraction tables up to 10, not to 20 and beyond…  Simplification.  Less to learn and memorize.  Adding in another process can sometimes decrease memorization.  With the decrease, however, comes an increase in remembering another process, adjusting around the number 10.  How about this one, 52 – 24 or 4 – 2 = 2 and 10 – 2 = 8, then take away 1 from the 5 to give you 4 – 2 = 2 again.  So 52 – 24 = 28.  It takes a while but after learning the new process, I can do this kind of math in my head without having to write it out like I am doing here.  Or 65 – 38 = 27, 8 – 5 = 3 and so on…  I feel math is much more fun when you can do more with learning less.  Pretty cool once you learn how.  And learning means knowledge.  And remember, there can be good knowledge and bad knowledge as well as “What the heck does that mean?” knowledge.

     Enter the next phase, instead of using numbers that you know, try figuring out a way to find numbers that you do not know yet but can be able to find out.  How about using letters to represent any or all numbers and call these letters variables that can represent any numbers you wish.  May sound complicated for now, but using a question mark, ?, when looking at multiple variables would get confusing, watch…  (?1 + ?2) * ?2 = (?1 + 1) * ?2.  Confusing?  Yup.  So use X for ?1 and Y for ?2 and it becomes:  (X + Y) * Y = (X + 1) * Y.  Much less confusing.  But wait, I just noticed something.  The one side is all X’s and Y’s while the other side is X’s, Y’s and a number 1 that is not a “variable”.  Numbers are represented by “variables” but those variables are still a set of numbers.  Plug any integer (non decimal) number that you want for X and for Y like this:  X = 6, Y = 3.  So (X + Y) * Y = (X + 1) * Y or (6 + 3) * 3 = (6 + 1) * 3 or (9) * 3 = (7) * 3 which is not true since 9 * 3 does not equal 7 * 3.  But (X * Y) + Y = (X + 1) * Y or (6 * 3) + 3 = (6 + 1) * 3 or 18 + 3 = 7 * 3 or 21 = 21.  Did we just figure something out again?  Yup, we just figured out a numerical relationship known as “factoring” while also showing that variables in this case are made up of a set of all numbers.  We can limit or expand the numbers if we wish, but why?  Sometimes you have to say “why not?” and show why not.  There are integers but there are also fractions (1/2) and decimals (.5) in a numbering system.  The equation, (X * Y) + Y = (X + 1) * Y is true for all integers (whole numbers) but is not true for fractions or decimals.  Try X = 2.5 and Y = 3 then (2.5 * 3) + 3 = (2.5 + 1) * 3 which becomes (7.5) + 3 = (3.5) * 3 or 10.5 = 10.5.  Bad example, huh.  I guess this equation is truly special in some form or another but try again.  X = 2.5 and y = 3.5 which becomes:  (2.5 * 3.5) + 3.5 = (2.5 + 1) * 3.5 or (8.75) + 3.5 = (3.5) * 3.5 or 12.25 = 12.25.  Amazing.  Adding and multiplying the same numbers different ways can lead to the same result?  Yup.  But what about this “special” equation?  Yes it is special and apparently true for all numbers, integers (whole numbers), and decimals (fractions).  Pretty wild, huh.  Variables, numbers, integers, decimals, wow, lots of stuff.

     And yes, for most people, lots of stuff leads to confusion in trying to sort it all out.  Mathematics, a subset of life I guess.  Throw a bunch of stuff together and try to sort it out.  Does it all sort out anyway?  Sometimes yes and sometimes no.  Oops, and sometimes maybe too.  It depends on the conditions and knowledge and whatever factors as well.  Who knows?  Who cares?  The thing is, with good knowledge that you can apply, more problem solving can result.  You need knowledge in the right direction though.  Knowing good, bad, and evil won’t explain (X * Y) + Y = (X + 1) * Y will it?  Nope.  It’s still nice to know though, isn’t it?  So did you memorize the good equation or the bad equation?  Like in life, things may look similar yet one idea may work whereas another may not.  But nothing new here really, just a different way of putting things in prospective is all.  Like life, math just happens.  Math problems.  Life problems.  Math solutions.  Life solutions.  It all adds up.  Knowledge is key.  But sometimes you may know something works but not know why.  It just works.  And sometimes you feel something should work but it doesn’t.  That’s the way things go.  Many things can happen with no rhyme, reason, or answer to.  It just is.  That’s that.  Sometimes you plan things and they don’t happen as planned while other times they do.  We live in a perfekt world.  We are just as perfekt as well.

     Does anyone out there know everything?  If you did, you would want to forget your name after being asked so many questions.  Not God, Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, or the like but no name.  Different religions assigned a name, but the one who knows all really does not have a name.  Must be nice.  Things just get done namelessly.  But what name would truly fit one that stretched the heavens above the earth and such.  A name in itself for all of creation.  One name for existence itself.  Not impossible but would be very long or impossible to pronounce from our perspective.  Just a thought.  I do not know all, do you think you do or do you wish people think you do.  I don’t but I do seem to know a bit more than most.  A lot of fun in life is dealing with unknowns.  Some know this;  some know that;  no one truly knows nothing though.  Just because you don’t know how to breathe air doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t breathe air.  Some things just happen.  That’s how it is.

     Now to delve into something new and different.  Some like same, some like different.  Why are you always cranky anyway?  But we have variables, numbers, decimals, and the like.  But the numbering system has “place holders” in it, correct?  One hundred is still one hundred whether inches or gallons.  Our numbering system is based on the number 10.  See the “place holder”?  But what about a binary (base 2) or hexadecimal (base 16) numbering system?  Just because we do not think of something does not mean it does not exist.  Whether good, bad, or indifferent.  The base numbering system consists of place holders such as:

n >= 2, n1n = 1 0 n
n >= 2, n2n = 1 0 0 n
n >= 2, n3n = 1 0 0 0 n
n >= 2, n4n = 1 0 0 0 0 n

and so on…  See a pattern yet?  I do.

Try these:

n >= 2, (n-1)2n = n-2 1 n
n >= 5, (n-2)2n = n-4 4 n
n >= 7, (n-1)2n + (n-2)2n = 1 n-6 5 n
n >= 7, (n-1)2n – (n-2)2n = 1 n-3 n
n >= 4, (n-1)3n = n-3 2 n-1 n
n >= 6, (n-1)4n = n-3 5 n-3 1 n

and others I imagine.  How far do you wish to go with this?  This is definitely not as far as it can go either.  But in perspective:

(10-1)210 = 10-2 1 10 or 9 2 10 = 8 1 10 or

Huh, n >= 7, (n-1)2n – (n-2)2n = 1 n-3 n ,OK, n–2-(n-4) 1-4 n  or borrow n from (n-2)-(n-4) making it (n-2)-(n-4)-1 and adding the n to:  n+(1-4) = n-3 and n–2–n+4-1 = 1 thus making it 1 n-3 n  Do the math…  Like n+n-2-4 and 1+4 or take away an n from n+n to make it 1 n-6 5 n

(10-1)310 = 10-3 2 10-1 10 = 7 2 9 10 or
(16-1)316 = 16-3 2 16-1 16 = 13 2 15 16 or D 2 F 16 = F316 in hexadecimal notation or
(∞-1)2 = ∞-2 1 .  ∞ = infinity.  

     Wow.  Infinity really is a big number too so don’t let its size fool you.  But knowledge is really fun when you share it with others and see what they may be able to do with it as well.  Stuff happens.  And what about a base pi numbering system?  Knowledge happens.  Both good and bad.  This is just knowledge I have figured out, neither good nor bad.  Knowledge is knowledge.  How knowledge gets used decides whether it is good or bad.  Good knowledge can still be used badly as well as bad knowledge may be able to be turned into good.  It depends on the person and what they know.  After knowing comes preference.  And once one prefers something they become comfortable with it.  That is how people work.  When we are used to something, we become comfortable with it whether we like it or not.  A comfort zone is what someone is used to and comfortable with.  Are you comfortable with good or evil?  Why?  Are you even comfortable at all?  Are you selfish or coexisting?  Why?  Because.

     This is actually what I looked at when deciding to look to the base numbering system minus 1 (hint, hint, not n3 = 1 0 0 0 n and all that…).  Yes, it does seem right in the book, but I did it that way to be misleading to those trying to figure out how I came about with the stuff.  Anyway, look at this…

9 * 1 = 9   = 9
9 * 2 = 18, 1 + 8 = 9
9 * 3 = 27, 2 + 7 = 9

9 * 9 = 81, 8 + 1 = 9
9 * 10 = 90, 9 + 0 = 9
9 * 11 = 99, 9 + 9 = 18
9 * 12 = 108, 1 + 0 + 8 = 9

9 * 19 = 171, 1 + 7 + 1 = 9
9 * 20 = 180, 1 + 8 + 0 = 9
9 * 21 = 189, 1 + 8 + 9 = 18
9 * 22 = 198, 1 + 9 + 8 = 18
9 * 23 = 207, 2 + 0 + 7 = 9

9 * 111 = 999, 9 + 9 + 9 = 27

     and so on…  Yes, a pattern…  And the pattern exists throughout the base numbering system…

     And yes, decimals work as well as in:

n = 3.5, (n – 1)2n = n-2 1 n

     So, in base 3.5, it equates to (in base 10), (2.5)2 = (3.5 * 1.5) + 1 or 6.25 = 6.25, which is true.  Also, base pi system…

n = pi, (n – 1)2pi = n-2 1 pi

     And, don’t ask me why, but for some strange reason…

(n-1)2 = [n * (n-2)] + 1

     And also…

(n-2)2 = [n * (n-4)] + 4

     While also…

(n-1)2 – (n-2)2 = n + (n-3) [1 n-3 equates to (1*n) + (n-3)] which really equals 2n - 3

     And with that being said…

     So, 772 – 762 = 153 (hint, 78 times 2 minus 3 or 156 minus 3)
What, you tried the long way (77 times 77 minus 76 times 76, so yeah, I figured it out before you typed on the computer or pushed the buttons on your calculator, aced, go figure…)

     And what about…

(n-1)3n – (n-1)2n or…
(n-1)4n – (n-1)2n or even better…
(n-1)4n – (n-2)2n or better yet…
(n-1)4n + (n-2)2n

     OK then…

(n+1)2n + (n-1)2n = 1 2 1 n + n-2 1 n = 1 n 2 n or… (drum roll please) 2 0 2 n or 2n2 + 2 in standard notation.

     And even more then…

(n+1)2n – (n-1)2n = 4 0 n OR (n+1)2 – (n-1)2 = 4n

     Yes, these problems and more, all have a solution (and the answers can be converted as well to standard as well as kept in base notation if preferred).

     Yes, Alternative Mathematics.  Finding another alternate way in an attempt to simplify solving problems.  Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry, Calculus, Alternative Math (Placeholder Math), Loony Bin (Alternate Reality).  It all adds up or subtracts out I guess.

     And before the other end (this side of the other end)…

n >= 10, (n-3)2n = n-6 9 n

     Which now leads into (since we now know there is a definite pattern here)…

X >= Y2 + 1, (X-Y)2x = X - (2*Y) Y2 x

     And yes…

n >= 17, (n-4)2n = n-8 16 n


n >= ∞2 + 1, (n - ∞)2n = n – (2 * ∞) 2 n

     Thus proving that the variable n is greater than infinity squared plus one whatever that equates to (go on, pull out your calculator and press the ∞ key and then the n key to figure this out.  You know you wanna.  Wait, what infinity [∞] key?  What n key?  Um, er, uh.  Math being figured out without using a computer or a calculator?  What the blazes is this world coming to now anyway?  CHEATERS!!!!)…

     And on the other end…

n >= 2, (n+1)2n = 1 2 1 n

n >= 5, (n+2)2n = 1 4 4 n

n >= 4, (n+1)3n = 1 3 3 1 n so…

     X >= Y2 + 1, (X + Y)2x = 1 2*Y Y2 x (note, 2 times Y and Y squared will eventually become greater than X thus leading to carry overs making it become 2 and so forth…, hence X >= Y2 +1, hint, hint).

     curveball here…

(n+1)3n – n3n = 3 3 1 n or 3n2 + 3n + 1, and of course…

(n+1)3n – (n-1)3n =

     And what about:

(n-1)3n – (n-1)2n =

(n-1)3n + (n+1)3n =

     And try this one, (n-1)2 – (n-1)2 = of course, 0 (The Great Zilcho).

     And so on…

     And oh no…

     (X + 20)2 – X2 = X2 – (X -20)2 = 2*(X + 10) * 20 or 40 * (X + 10) better explained by this (would you rather multiply a number by itself or try something simpler that you can do in your head possibly)…

     2222 – 2022 = 40 * 212 = 8480 or would you rather 222 times 222 (49284) minus 202 times 202 (40804) and all that which still equals 8480.  And NO, 2222 – 2022 will not equal 202 = 400.  Why?  Because I said so, na na ne boo boo.  But these are squares (numbers times themselves), not just PLAIN multiplication, addition, and/or subtraction problems.

     Or ‘simpler’ of 252 – 52 = 40 * 15 = 600 (yes, 625 – 25 equals 600 as well but try it with 6252 – 6052 then smarty pants).

     But since we have calculators and computers and such then why simplify?  And since the electric went out and the batteries went dead then it isn’t your fault that you didn’t use your head, or is it?

     But yes, still don’t ask me why.  Alright go ahead and try and figure out:

(n-1)3 = (base notation, standard notation)

(n+1)3 = (base notation, standard notation)

     Which, as we all know, that this therefore leads to a land called Bonkers…

     This math, as well as the math in “The New Math” book, works for integers, decimals, fractions, and yes, even a base pi, Angstrom, googleplex, infinity, etc., numbering system.  The mind and problem solving are terrible things. Imagine this.  Imagine that.  Imaginations running wild…

 Chapter Seven – Postlogue

     Life is full of stories and quite a few of these stories may seem familiar to many.  I felt that now was the time to get out some of these stories direct from the original horse’s ass behind these stories.  Stories left out.  Stories left in.  Stories untold.  Stories yet to unfold.  Life goes on.  Haven’t I written enough already?  Thank you for reading and participating in life in one way or another.  Stuck in the middle with me.  The beginning?  Does it ever end?

 Now Syndrome, Introduction

     Dedicated to abuser and abused alike.  Abuse stops when people learn to work together.  Abuse starts when someone thinks only of themselves and not about others.  There is no compromise, however, the abused becomes helpless and that is what the abuser wants.  The abused needs help and the abuser wants helplessness.

     All too many times I have seen people asking for help but not getting any because “something needs to happen” as the police have told me countless times about people following me around and driving passed my house and such.  But I need to say now, something should be done BEFORE something seriously happens in the case of abuse, because waiting too long is always too late.  Waiting allows the abuse to become more prominent and more serious since the abuser is getting what they want.

     To put it bluntly, a husband threatens “Do not call the police again on me or else” to his wife for reporting him to the police.  She is married and no family around to help and nowhere else to go because she is still married and ‘legally bound’ to him.  The police come back and say, “until he does something, it is just an idle threat and nothing we can do about it.”  So the police are saying that until he hurts or kills her, he can do and say what he wants to her so long as not being specific.  But after she is dead, what more can be done?  She is now in way more danger, and has been told there will be no help.  But why should she wait around to die and instead just kill him since no one will help her now until she possibly dies and becomes beyond help?  Or should she just wait around to die?

     Please think about that.  Please help stop abuse.  The only way I know of to stop it, is to care enough about people to not let abuse start in the first place.  And even if he never harms or threatens her again for the rest of their lives, she still has to live for the rest of her life with what happened “that time”.  Is it really worth it?

Caring = hurting?  Since when?

 Now Syndrome, Explanation

     I describe “Now Syndrome” as when a person becomes so traumatized by event(s) that they can only seem to focus on the event(s) in the present tense.  Now Syndrome is a result of both abuse and neglect.  I have recently heard stories of women who have killed their partners over a year previously yet when asked about it, they describe it as going on in the present and still continuing even though their partners have been dead.

     After hearing about this, I realize I suffer from the same syndrome.  Many times recently I have said things like “They are following me” and “They are shooting at me” or “I am being shot at” in reference to things that I know have happened in the past but are also still ongoing.  It may not be happening at the present time, but it always seems to be happening in your mind.  You are so traumatized that even though the event(s) may have happened a while ago, you still see the events unfolding in the present.  It is difficult to explain why this happens unless you go through it yourself.

     But things become so bad and so urgent that you become stuck in “now”.  I feel it is a type of traumatic shock because you feel a sense of urgency to do something now before it is too late.  The events get stuck in your mind in the present since you feel that later will be too late because of the deep emotion felt.  Emotion tends to fade over time, but in Now Syndrome, the emotion does not fade so I guess your brain stores the information as always happening in the present.  The emotion is so severe and lasting, that your mind has no other way to store the information except in your present conscience.  The emotion and trauma just do not fade and are as real years later as when the event(s) happened.  Other information gets stored normally, but the conscience can only seem to process the traumatic event(s) in the present since the emotion level is so high.  The events happened in the past but you can only recall them in the present because that is how they are stored in your brain.

     The following I hope helps describe what it feels like to be stuck in “now”.  But I realized this syndrome in myself after a while.  My situation I have recorded in a three inch binder filled with over several hundred pages of information, notes, and documents from events plus over eight packets of pictures and such.  This information is so voluminous and involved that I feel it would get in the way of this writing.  I do not wish to complain about the details on what happened to me, but more to document how I feel about what happened and is still happening.  I feel the emotion gets my point across better than a “this happened, that happened” type of detailing.  I feel the emotion is more important than its cause and the cause is so large and involved that it would dilute my purpose in writing this.  If the background information is too huge, the needed information becomes lost.  A summary listing of this background information that inspired this “Now Syndrome” writing is a book unto itself and at least eight pages condensed.  And it is still ongoing to this day.

     I wrote this not as an article on abuse itself, but as an article to stress feelings involved with being abused.  To make this more ‘reader tolerant’, profanity was altered (“b**t*rd” became “illegitimate child”, “s**ks” became “stinks”, and “like s**t” became “horrible” for those that want the full original feeling of this and know words well enough to replace the ***’s).  For some added thought, “now” is many times used metaphorically in this writing with the word “abuse”.  Try this, “…The only thing an abused person ends up having is abuse.  Nothing else is allowed to matter except abuse…RAGE is ABUSE!…”  Now for the writing I did.

 Now Syndrome, Writing

Question:  What mode does a severely abused person go into?
Answer:  I must do something NOW to try and stop this abuse from continuing!

     That is why the “Now Syndrome” and using present tense for past events.

     Unless something gets done now, abuse will continue.

     The only thing an abused person ends up having is now.

     Nothing else is allowed to matter except now.

     And you either do something now or else.

     And the abuse will keep building even after now has ended.

     Anger is fleeting, RAGE is NOW!

     Tomorrow does not exist only now.

     Yesterday exists today only and only now.

     Because everything keeps happening now.

     No one cares now except only to hurt.

     Now is imbedded into my thoughts.

     My waking moments all become now because that is all I am allowed to concentrate on now.

     The past keeps recurring in my thoughts now because my past is still now.

     Now is all I have left.

     Yesterday stinks.

     Tomorrow will stink.

     Now is all I have anymore and that stinks too.

     Now never ends.

     Nobody listens now.

     Nobody will help tomorrow.

     Nobody helped yesterday.

     No one will help now.

     Now is nothing.

     Nothing exists except now.

     Now is the time and it all exists now.

     Tomorrow only exists now.

     Yesterday is still happening now.

     No one cares including me now.

     Why should anyone care now anyway?

     Now is still not the time since all time is now.

     Nothing can save me now, not even death.

     Now exists all the time and all time is now since that is all that exists.

     I have no belief in now.

     I hate now all the time.

     Now is never ending.

     Now should stop but it never does.

     It always exists now and now is always there and happening now.

     Now does not stop since there is no stopping now.

     Make it stop now! Now! Now!

     But it never stops now.

     The cycle in my mind keeps continuing here and now.

     Now, nothing can stop it.

     There is nothing now and that is now how it is.

     Nothing.  I am empty now.

     Only memories of now that plague my head now.

     Please leave me alone now, but now never listens.

     Now is all that exists for me now.

     Right here, right now.

     That is all now.

     No hopes, no dreams, I only exist now for others to hurt it seems.

     I can never have any peace or piece of mind now.

     Now consumes me.

     All I have left to look forward to is being abused now.

     I don’t want you near me now.

     I don’t want to see you now.

     I don’t want to hear you now.

     I don’t want to speak of now.

     But nothing exists in me except now.

     I can not avoid now.

     Maybe not always right now but it is happening now in my thoughts and now never ends.

    There is no stopping now.

     Not now, not ever.

     Not even death can help me now because no one cares now including me.

     Why should I care now anyway?

     Now is not the time but is all my time now.

     Tomorrow will never come and life only exists now anyway.

     I see nothing but being abused now.

     Now never ends.

     Nothing and no one can ever help me now, not even myself.

     I am stuck now with no way out and no one to turn to, only now.

     Now stinks but it is all I have left now in my life.

     All is hopeless now.

     Understand now?

     I hope not for later never comes.

     Nothing and no one can help me now.

     I only exist now for others to hurt.

     Others only exist now to hurt me.

     That is all that is left now in me.  Hurt.

     I do not matter anymore nor do you now.

     Nothing worthwhile left now.

     Just now and it never ends now.

     Is now the time to talk or is now a time to do?

     I’ll be quiet now, but will you?

     Of course you won’t you abusive illegitimate child.

     You lie and say it is my fault when it is you who did not care.

     I cared before, but not now.

     Now is great for you, is it not, since you can’t understand what you’ve done to me, can you?

     I understand only my side and after what I’ve been through I never want to be anything like you now.

     Not now, not ever.

     But I feel myself becoming like you now.

     Like you, I do not care now.

     But unlike you, I have no one to care about now.

     Not even myself because you feel I should not care about myself and should only care about you and what you want now.

     I do not matter now.

     I am not allowed to leave, for you are always with me now.

     Even miles away, your abuse runs through my head constantly now.

     You are someone who cares only about themselves, not me now.

     Do I have any choices now?

     Power is fleeting.  Strength is eternal.  I am stronger now.

     Now I want you to leave me alone but I know you never will.

     Making others suffer is enjoyment for you, is it not?

     You make me feel horrible, are you happy now?

     Evidently so or else you would have stopped by now, right?

     So what is left for us, now, since only you matter?

     Time will tell I guess but will time run out now that I understand who you are and what you really are.

     And who’s time will run out?

     I only know now, what do you really know anyway?

     After all this abuse, I can’t be bothered now.

     I am numb now.

     I do not care now.

     And now is all I have.

     Are you still happy now?

     You have everything it seems.

     All I have left is memories of now.

     I am never alone now.

     Now is always on my mind now.

     I only exist because now is all I have left.

     No yesterdays, todays, or tomorrows, only now.

     Others promised to help now but help never arrives now.

     What am I being blamed for now?

     I either learn to be abusive to fight back or keep allowing myself to be abused now.

     Even though I am still breathing and my heart still pumps, I am only dead now.

     I am trapped now.

     To kill or be killed now.

     No win or lose, only death now.

     We can not exist together, we can not exist now.

     And you will not leave me alone now.

     No one will make you leave me alone now.

     You are allowed to do what you want, and I am forced to be a slave to your abuse now.

     Death is the only escape now.

     You or me now.

     Nothing in the past or future seems worthwhile, nothing but now for me anymore.

     Now is all I am left with now.

     It never ends now.

     I can not change now and nothing changes now.

     I want the world to change but will the world change now?

     You keep threatening me, harassing me, and hassling me now.

     You do not and will not leave me alone now unless I cave in to your will now or become like you now.

     I am truly locked in now.

     Focusing on now.

     Desperation time is now.

     It is not my will now.

     Now just is.

     What is done can not be undone for it is too late now.

     It is all hopeless and it all happens now.

     I want to leave now, but now I can’t.

     You have only been using me now to get what you want now.

     You don’t care about me now.

     You never did care about me now.

     You never will care about me now.

     And so long as you are in my thoughts, I am not allowed to care about myself now.

     I can only accept now for what it is, was, and will be.

     An everlasting now.

     Now.  Forever.  Now.

 The Meaning of Life

     And, as mentioned in The New Math Book, an idea was thought of for a question and answer section (chapter) but was dropped because it would be too large.  Well, maybe if I condense the section, it might not become too large.  Who knows?  Only one way to find out

     OK, here goes.  The Meaning of Life as it is, not as we know it.  

     Note, this is it.  The actual page that explains it all so reader beware

     In the beginning One created all that was, is and will exist throughout existence.  The One has no real name as he is existence itself.  He is as he is.  He was as he was.  He will be as he will be.  So all exists.

Question:  Why is this being written now?

     The answer is because it is time now.  Things are changing again because of the need for change, otherwise things would remain the same, correct?

Question:  Why do you think you are so special to be the one to write this page, Thee Ace Man, hmmm...?

     Because I was chosen and because I feel the need to try and explain things happening as best as I can.  I am the one with the double-nerved upper left bicuspid and as such I am apparently the "Last of the Great Prophets" as prophesied by many before me and during my time and for times to come I imagine.  My time on Earth in the flesh is now for whatever reason the Creator has decided and with that I do as I feel I need to do.  Things happen as they happen. 
And as of August 25/26, 2015 I can honestly say that this page is being written by the Keeper of the Creator's Archives (which also includes The Book of Life among many other books).  Many have said to me in the past that when the time comes you will know.  So now I know too.

Question:  If you are so special then why haven't people heard of you before?

     Hello, never heard the name Ace before?  The name has been used so many times and so many different ways that even I have lost count.  My name started as Adrian then Bubby then became Ace.  My life story got documented in The New Math Book so that what I remember happening got documented.  I have also used the name Albert, Mikey J, John, James, and so on...  I will restate the reason again however.  A prominent person met with me in the middle of the year 1979 (May/June 1979) and decided that I should be kept a secret from others and "the public eye" as best as possible until the time comes.  The reason being is that until said time, I need to do some things and being 'public' would possibly lead to things not getting done.  Imagine if you could change history just by killing off one person?  Right, KEPT SECRET.  All this stuff about "New World Order" and such does have substance to it but imagine if someone ended that possibility before it happened.  Correct.  Kept secret.  Kinda anyway...  Seriously, you have heard of ace before I hope.

Question:  Something wrong with the 'system'?

     Yes.  Every government system out there is preoccupied with punishment / reward.  Is there something wrong with a system that actually fixes problems instead of always creating more?  Case in point of certain people that try to make rules for others to follow but refuse to follow the same rules themselves.  Think on that for a minute or so then realize there is hope out there coming sometime soon...

Question:  What of all this talk of 'being reborn' and all that?

Kind of messy here because of so much false prophesy out there at this point in time.  A New World Order is established on Earth by Emperor Emanuel where all living people are to all follow the same set of rules or be banished.  There is to be a time on Earth (Eden) where the evil that has existed will be purged from the lands.  After this a building will be brought down from the heavens with 12 chambers and placed upon Earth.  Also the Tree of Life is to return and grow 12 kinds of fruit.  This is from the NIV (new International Version) which I am not too fond of.  I am more partial to the original King James Version.  Problem is that it is almost impossible to find the truthful original King James Version anymore (1609).  Like almost everything else in the NIV (New International Version) and the NKJV (New King James Version), it doesn't sound accurate to what I remember from the original King James.  I don't remember anything in the original about the Tree of Life returning or any of that other stuff mentioned outside the building with twelve sides being placed on Earth.  And I am very mistrusting of the NIV and NKJV as several things about 'Comforter' and 'Holy Spirit' have been run together which was not the case in the original King James Version (OKJV).  This I can say, it has not changed since the beginning and being baptized, circumcised, or any other religious practice is NOT what decides who enters Heaven and who doesn't.  Neither is religious preference, and so on, much of a factor.  A person's actions and personal accountability are the main factors, not one's beliefs.  Also note that with that being said, being intolerant of other people's beliefs is not a good thing either.  Each person is different and there is no catch all stereotype as to who enters Heaven and who doesn't.  But be forewarned it is not what one believes, but more if one is willing to accept the truth over one's beliefs.  But that is after one passes away and has no use for this earthly turmoil / tumult stuff so try not to be misled.  On the same token, the books of the old prophets in the Old Testament already mention what is stated in the Book of Revelations.  Different author and different time period is all.  World peace for 1000 years...

Question:  What of all this talk about "the meek inheriting the Earth" and such?

     It's true.  The meek are the ones who realize that good rules apply to all including the rulemakers themselves.  Are you a meek and don't realize it yet?  Or are you something else?

Question: World Peace, really?

     Yes.  But first comes the definition of a butthole.  A butthole is a person that feels all rules should apply to everyone else but themselves.  Next comes rounding up all these buttholes and shipping them off to a deserted island somewhere where they can't bother everyone else.  Then comes world peace.  It's really not that complicated. 
And yes, the tradition of saying "bless you" when someone sneezes was started because of a belief that if you sneezed it meant your soul was trying to escape.  Problem with this is that no one apparently gets blessed if they fart.  Just sayin'.

Question:  World peace for 1000 years?

     Yes.  For 1000 years world peace through a series of universal laws through the son of the Creator, Emperor Emanuel (2007? - 2127?), which all adhere to thus creating a thousand years of peace.  Then.  After the thousand years one comes along and performs all these great miracles of healing the sick and all that but he is not a person that is out to help people but more to try and enslave people again.  This person that comes along after the thousand years of peace asks all to worship him in all his glory or parish.  This person is actually evil even though he appears to perform miracles of healing the sick and all that.  The evil is that he wishes to be the ruler of all but is not.  As stated, this miracle worker after the thousand years of peace is not as he seems.  He does what he does for self gratification and he craves power over others.  This is NOT the Creator.  The Creator does not force people to worship him and such.  The great evil after the thousand years of peace that comes forth is an evil unleashed when the gate placed over the Abyss is opened for a short time.  But this is in the future.  A thousand years after Emperor Emanuel establishes the 'Heaven on Earth' universal rules also known as 'the New World Order', a Great Tormenter is unleashed for a short time on Earth (and yes, he knows his time is short).

Question:  Isn't the muslim nation of Islam, 'The New World Order'?

     Nope.  And they know this and were told this but still refuse to listen.  The son of the Creator is also the son of Allah.  And the one that islam/muslim call Allah is the Creator himself.  And as stated, the Creator does not really have a name that we can pronounce in the flesh as he is existence itself.  Just as the christians and the hebrews, the muslims also need to stop trying to add stuff and take away stuff based on personal whims.  The truth, was, is, and always will be the truth.  The Reaper of the Harvest (2007? - 2127?) comes and oh boy, is there a lot to reap and harvest out there.

Question:  What of all this kneeling and bowing that religions promote?

Good question here.  Yes, usually when someone gets requested to appear before the Creator, they are asked to stand before the Creator, not kneel, sit or bow.  I think this may be more for earthly dealings than with preparation for the spirit world.  Think about it.  If you summon someone to appear before you, don't you want to talk with them about things instead of trying to understand what they are trying to say after being winded doing all these kneeling / bowing exercises?  Let alone that it is difficult to hear someone when their face is buried in the ground?  And to that end, if asked to kneel, sit or bow, then yes, kneel, sit or bow.  But if asked a question then wouldn't you think that the Creator would like to look upon your face when you answer just as you should be looking upon his face when he asks?  Yes, seriously there does seem to be a big problem with all this practice of kneeling and bowing that you probably may not need much before or after life in the spirit world.  And to that end, shouldn't we be looking up and not down when praying?  Just a thought.  Shouldn't reverence and acknowledgement go hand in hand or should someone still be trying to understand someone while their face is buried in the ground looking for that lost contact lens that no one seems to be missing?  Just another thought.

Question: False Prophets, Fake New World Orders...?

      Yes.  Many in our times will look to be the actual but are fakers in our times.  These people and groups look to be the ones of the long time prophecies but are not.  They also preach of doom and gloom if you don't listen and obey them but as stated these are false people trying to impose their will on the prophecies but are not who they pretend to be aka are actually false and made up.  That is why I feel I need to start coming forward now as these falsies are becoming more and more of a nuissance.  Be forewarned, they are false and it shows.  That is also why the prophecies seem to point in different directions in the Book of Revelations.  The reason being is that Revelations warns of these false prophets and their ways while also trying to point out the true prophecies as well.   Many have tried to key in on key phrases and such in the Bible to try and bring 'just cause' to their actions.  Be forewarned now as well, the Creator (and his son) are not amused with the christians who profess to follow Jeshua (Jesus) whilst boiling people in oil, burning them at the stake, and the like.  Also be forewarned that they are not amused by ones who chop people's heads off in the name of Allah and Muhammad either.  Yes, three anti-christs as named before and named now...  1) Napoleon (guilotine)  2) Adolph (gas chamber)  3) Musab (beheading).  All three in the name of 'purification' and all three "butchers" and nothing more.  So to clarify, the actual New World Order is decried by the Holy Spirit (Emperor Emanuel) himself and is a set of laws and rules that the emperor, himself, as well as all others agree to abide by.  Universal laws for one and all, not separate laws for 'leaders' and 'followers' as has always been the case in the past.  With that being said, the falsies are readily apparent as their rules apparently apply to others but not themselves.  All systems of government have been plagued by this since the beginning of separate laws for 'leaders, nobility, etc.' and separate laws for 'commoners, subjects, etc.'.  New World Order in actuality is all people will follow all rules or be banished / exiled.  That includes the rulemaker(s) themselves.  The reward as stated in Revelations for the 'harlot of Babylon' also known as the city of Rome and the Vatican shall be laid waste in all its idolotry and corruption and such.  The nation of Islam is also going by the wayside as well for all its corruption as well.  And what of the jews then?  The jews did desert the Creator but have paid a price and maybe learned.  Maybe not.  And what of this prophesied 12 partitioned building built in New Jerusalem (aka New York, USA) as described in the Bible?  And what of the future?  Things are as they are and happen as they happen.  Doom and gloom for corruption which is about time ain't it?   THINKE (Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything).  And as Heaven has a universal set of rules for all who reside in Heaven, so shall Heaven be on Earth.  And who better than the son of the Creator who is given the gift of conversing in all languages to bestow these rules upon those living on Earth (a Land of Eden)?  Still a freedom of choice but not a freedom that infringes the rights of oneself as well as others.  Universal universality.

Question:  A New Jerusalem?

Yes.  a New Jerusalem aka New York State USA.  The old Jerusalem has been tainted so many times and so many different ways that I imagine it is time for a change.  Too many memories of money changers in the temples, scribes, pharisees, and the like.  Pretty much time to move on I guess.

Question:  Is it true that if one looks upon the Creator that they die?

     Did the first priest of Israel, Aaron, die?  Did the priests after Aaron die upon entering the Holy of Holies?  Of course it is not true and never has been true. 
Same as you don't go blind, turn to dust, etc.  But remember too, this is the Creator and I would not want to be one that upsets the one that stretched the heavens above the Earth and such, but do as you need to do I guess.  And on the same token, more or less, if you're an angel (or ten angels perhaps) shouldn't you be interceding with the Creator on mankind's behalf and not asking a man to intercede with the Creator on your behalf because as an angel you were caught fornicating with womenAnd thusly one third (or 200) of the angels were sealed away to await judgment for their actions.  To each their own I guess.  Same as a couple of Aaron's kids messing around at the Lord's Altar with strange incense.  Things happen.  Write a book (or two or so).  How many books have been written anyway?  How many fiction / non fiction...?  Just askin'.

Question:  The Creator?

Yes, the Creator aka Yotzer, Allah, Yehovay, Jehovah, YHWH (IHWH actually, same as Ieshua instead of Jeshua / Yeshua, in hebrew the consonant I can be translated into either a J or Y in english depending on pronunciation), Elohim, God, etc.  The one who stretched the heavens above the earth and such.  I tend to address him as Creator or Yotzer (pronounced like yahtzer in english, short o sound) for that is the word I feel best describes him.  Even better is that Yotzer in hebrew also has a side meaning of father as well as creator.  And after rethinking this Shaddai (Almighty) is probably the better answer to the Creator's name in hebrew.  Father would be a bit awkward under the circumstances (read about Emanuel and Jeshua).  Creator, in english, does not have the father undertone.

Question:  The Keeper of the Book of Life?

      Yes, as best as I can say here.  I have an immense aura but also the double-nerved upper left bicuspid (which broke apart and was extracted around October / November 1997).  Also the prophecies by many different people over many different sources.  And Enoch was brought up before the Creator when he was 365 years old when the Creator had realized that Enoch was the Creator's scribe (secretary) as well as the Creator's bookkeeper / librarian and was not present with the Creator.  Then comes the story of Metatron and the transformation of Enoch into Metatron. 
And then the story about the name Metatron itself, which when the letter numbers were added up came out in hebrew / aramaic to 314 / 317 depending on who you talk to (the same as Shaddai).  With that, coming from Thee Ace Man's mind here, honest, Metatron does not actually mean anything in any language.  It is just a name like Zilcho.  And if you read 'The New Math' then you also know of the Great Professor ZILCHO, which when you add up the numbers with the latin (for zilcho) , it comes to 151.  Everyone knows that the basis of a good college education begins with a 101 course, so 151 must be a bit more than basic..  Which this story also relates to the '666' of the beast in the Bible in Revelations.  And to put this to rest, yes, VICARIUS FILII DEI, when added up in roman numerals DOES equal 666.  And this IS a title of the pope.  Also note, I don't remember ANYONE saying this title was inscribed on the pope's tiara.  I have, however, in all honesty, seen this very title sewn with jewels into the papal hat.  The fact that the Vatican vehemently denies this slogan was ever engraved into the pope's tiara should give a clue here.  Like stated, NO ONE ever said it was engraved in the pope's tiara.  The pope's hat stupid.  Nice try.  And not sure if it was Enoch or Metatron that invented the 22 letter hebrew alphabet based on the astronomical signs.  Next a story about Metatron having a twin brother named Sandalphon who is said to have been the one that was the great prophet Elijah as well.  And yet another story of how Sandalphon / Elijah is the base of the Tree of Life whilst Enoch / Metatron / Thee Ace Man is the top of the Tree of Life.  And still another story of when Enoch / Metatron was called up and was asked to write out the 366 books that comprise the Holy Archives.  And another story of how I call the Creator Shaddai (Almighty) and he calls me Na'ar (Youth).  Then a story of how an individual approached the Creator and wondered why the person next to the Creator, Metatron, was not required to stand in the Creator's presence and if there were perhaps two Gods (Creators).  The Creator informed others that Metatron was not required to stand nor to be given sixty lashes as Metatron's duties of writing required Metatron to be seated and a special seat was placed next to the Creator's seat on the Creator's left side for Metatron to perform his duties while in the Creator's presence (and this story and others from a rabbi, praised be himself, who I wouldn't trust to shine my shoes in all honesty.  Same as another story by a reverend John about how a whole city called Zion was called up and not just one person.  Really.  Seriously.  Some people have too much time on their hands for writing long, drawn-out fiction).  And yes, too, after writing this out, I keep wondering if possibly the Jews became as much 'paganistic' as the Romans, Greeks and Catholics are.  Note, in the flesh, now, I only have memories of the stories of Thee Ace Man in as much as spiritual memories are not remembered by myself in the flesh.  The Enoch / Metatron stories are stories others wrote long ago as Enoch was the great grandfather of Noah / Utnapishtim.  A special position and Enoch / Metatron / Thee Ace Man are names used by the person filling this position.  And a special note is in order here:  DO NOT PRAY TO LESSER GODS!!!!  In other words, realize and pay tribute by talking direct with the Creator and not 'underlings'.  The Creator is the one who chose Enoch / Metatron / Thee Ace Man, Abram / Abraham, Sarai / Sarah, Mary, Jeshua / Yeshua, Emanuel, Moses, Noah / Utnapishtim, etc. so why doubt his judgment?  Seriously.  DO NOT PRAY OR ASK FOR FAVORS ETC. FROM LESSER BEINGS!!!!  Please, please, please let the Creator decide such things and respect HIS decisions.  THINKE but now you should know, OK?  Thanks.  That takes a lot of pressure off of us lesser beings and you too.  You do know that us lesser beings can't sidestep the Creator anyway, don't you?

Question:  If you are 'the Keeper of the Book of Life' and 'Last of the Great Prophets, what special powers do you have?

OK, you got me here.  I don't have any special powers.  Then too, I got you back.  Moses never had any special powers; Elijah never had any special powers; same as all the other great and minor prophets.  The only 'special power' is that when Almighty (God / the Creator) calls for something to happen, as a prophet, you are kinda caught in the middle.  Moses didn't part the waters nor cause the plagues nor any of that.  Moses and the others (myself included) were just given messages to deliver and Almighty (God / the Creator) took care of the rest.  Just the way it is.  But truthfully, no, I don't have any special powers / abilities that anyone is aware of.

Question:  Paganism?  Really?  In this day and age?

Yes, really, paganism in this day and age.  Pagans are people who assign specific 'gods' to specific tasks according to their godly abilities.  Look at the real world.  Most people are multitalented (and SOME others are multiuntalented).  You have the god of love, god of truth, god of wisdom, god of gods, and on and on...  People are people and usually have many talents.  Seriously.  So looking at the Romans and all their gods, and the Greeks and all their gods, and the Catholics and all their saints (gods) and also the latter jews and all their gods and you see this disturbing trend of paganism.  That is why I say pray to the Creator as he is the one who handles what happens anyway.  All this pagan stuff just gets in the way.  Ideas are ideas whether by gods or just plain people.  Having an individual that does just one task throughout eternity sounds a bit boring doesn't it?  But yes, there are some that seem a bit more gifted than others in certain areas.  But yes, I am the Keeper of the Creator's Archives as well as head scribe (secretary - speaking of which, I need bigger boobs, the other angels have been talking you know).  But then too if the Creator says the toilet needs to be scrubbed then I can do that too.  Just ask.  And who knows, maybe your former neighbor (Saint Bubba) who just passed away may be the one that the Creator sends to get rid of that bad case of hiccups you just had instead of sending Hicksey the God of Hiccup Curing all the time.  Just a thought.  And with that thought maybe it was Sainte Oops (Patron Sainte of Comic Relief) that came instead.  Honestly, it was listed in the big Book of To Dos next to the bigger Book of Dones and the Pamphlet of Oopses.  Yes, the Book of Life knows who needs help and when, but it also is nice that you pray anyway.  And a prayer doesn't need to be asking for something and can be just a 'Thinking of You' type prayer as well.  What happens happens.  And yes, individuals get assigned positions but can usually do more than just ONE thing.  Some also get possessive of positions as well.  But in reality, try something else too, you may surprise yourself and influence people.  Maybe not.  Who knows til you try or get asked to try.  Sainte Oops may be the answer to your prayers and you never knew because you thought it was Saint Bubba all along, didn't you?

Question:  The New World Order?

     OK.  Gonna take a bit here and hope you can bear with me on this.  New World Order.  Realizing that there needs to be a uniform set of rules for ALL humans in the flesh to follow.  I mean read below about the rules of Heaven, Eden, and the lack thereof of rules in the Abyss and it is bound to happen in human history, right?  Correct?  But yes a concrete set of rules for all humans to follow and for those not wishing to follow these rules will be banished and isolated from those who follow the rules set forth in 'The New World Order'.  Yes, kings, judges, lawmakers, presidents, bishops, dalai Lamas, toilet scrubbers, factory workers, and on and on end up having a universal set of rules to follow.  What are these rules then?  Well, that is left up to the son of the one that created all.  Son?

Question:  What about the Trinity?  Really?

     Well, the Trinity is made up of three individuals.  The one who created all that is, was, and will be.  The son of the one that created all (the Holy Spirit, Emperor Emanuel, the Reaper of the Harvest).  And the grandson of the one that created all and son of the son that created all (Jeshua/Yeshua/Jesus Christ, Sower of Seeds, etc.).  They are three individuals but always remember even though family ties exist between the three (father, son, grandson) the three are each different.  The Creator (father) is the one who created all including Heaven, Eden, Abyss and flesh and spirit.  The father is the all knowing and the final word on all in existence.  The son (Emperor Emanuel) is apparently of our time but did make his presence known to his son back when his son was in the flesh (around 30ish AD).  A question was asked of the grandson (Jeshua/Yeshua, etc.) about the future and about Jeshua's father and then talking in tongues (not gibberish) ensued.  Yes, Jeshua's (Jesus') father (Holy Spirit, Emperor Emanuel) is able to speak and understand in all known languages.  This ability is a gift from his father who is the one that created all, etc. etc.  So think for a minute.  It was stated that the grandson had a kingdom and any who spoke his name would be allowed into this kingdom of Jesus'.  FALSE.  That was actually never stated as such by Jesus/Jeshua/etc.  The kingdoms are explained below in more detail but are of the one that created all, not his grandson.  What did Jeshua say exactly?  Well, read closer and observe.  The Kingdom of my Father (actually grandfather, but hebrew does/did not have such a word) shall be awarded to those who go forward in my name.  Jeshua then continues that whoever shall call out my name that I will stand with them before my father (grandfather again).  It is also stated (which most tend to forget) that there will also be many that will cry out the name of the grandson and that the grandson will not hear them.  Which is it then?  Both actually.  You see this is where the Book of Life comes in.  All things are recorded into the Book of Life from all those born of the flesh, however, in order to open this book a person needs to say seven words over this book before opening else the book will not open.  So note, if the words "Those not in Heaven shall blot out" and the book is opened, then those not allowed to pass into Heaven are blotted off the pages of the book of life for that opening of the book.  Also note, if the opener of the Book of Life says something like "the future is revealed to you now" and the book opened, then if those are the words, the book will be opened and the future revealed.  Note, the Book of Life has the secret of the seven words and as stated in Revelations, only the one with the knowledge of the words may pass the words over so that the book may be opened.  That is the catch.  Anyone else tries and the book remains shut and unopened.  And yes, a person's actual thoughts are what is recorded into the Book of Life, pictures, words, and all.  The Book of Life is not just a "written word" book but actually more of a "movie book" as it records the actual thoughts as they are.  So the book reveals if someone is trying to get away with something or not.  Remember, ALL your thoughts are recorded, not just what you want people to know.  You can't hide from yourself nor the Book of Life either. 
The original Book of Life captures the thoughts of all living people and preserves them in its special pages.  From this book has also been derived the Creator's Book of Life, the Lamb's Book of Life, The Book of Deeds, and so on.  The Creator's Book of Life is a listing of all those known to inhabit the Kingdom of Heaven.  The Lamb's Book of Life is a writing of all those that the grandson wishes to inhabit his Kingdom (yes, the Creator could and may have already created a separate set of kingdoms for his son and grandson if they so wish).  Yes, a whole library of books indeed.  That's that.  Also note, "My Father's Kingdom".  The Kingdom of Heaven.  Not Jesus/Jeshua/Yeshua, but my father's (grandfather's) kingdom.  The one that created all is the one that sits on the Mercy Seat (Throne of Judgment), not the son or grandson.  The everliving, not the most beautiful of all creation that rules over the Abyss either but the one that created it all rules over all.  That's that.  It is what it is.  But also note, how can one inherit a kingdom from one that never perishes (was, is, will be)?  They can't.  So please don't be fooled.  Father's Kingdom.  OK?  And how do you know who is and who isn't in this Book of Life when opened?  When you can be there to create all then I guess you will know.  If you are the one that this Book of Life trusts to recite the words properly then you could be the one to open the book and know as well.  So hint, just because someone may do things badly or poorly while alive in the flesh does not mean they may not be allowed into Heaven.  Just as someone who has seemed to do well and all that may not be allowed into Heaven as well.  It is what is said over the Book of Life and what is written therein that decides not what one wishes.  Judge not lest ye be judged yourself.  But note also, Heaven is not known for being a place of 'troublemakers' but also note that one that makes trouble in the flesh may not necessarily be one that makes trouble in the spirit (Heaven, Eden, Abyss).  We of the flesh are not ones to decide such things.  Which brings us to...

Question: Why are we here?

Because we aren't there of course.  If we are there then we can't be here at the same time, can we?  Are we figments of our own imaginations or the figments of some other being's warped imagination or both maybe?  And then too, if it is just I, then would you wish to spend an eternity just talking to yourself?  And then again, if you could do whatever you wanted, what would you do about 'loneliness'?  The answer has been written and helps explain other questions asked as well.  In the very beginning existed the one that created all, and all that exists is part of his realm.  This realm is divided into 3 sections as explained now.  First section is the Kingdom of Heaven.  This is the kingdom where the knowledge of good flourishes.  This is the kingdom of light as those of this kingdom emit, through their spirit, a huge amount of light that is visible throughout all the other divisions.  The Kingdom of Heaven is a spiritual kingdom existing of only good spirits.  The second kingdom is Eden also referred to as Purgatory.  This is the kingdom between good and evil and is a varied kingdom as it is not made up of those purely of good or purely of evil nor purely of flesh nor purely of spirit.  This kingdom is where the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil are located.  This kingdom is both spiritual and flesh.  As such, this is the kingdom between the other kingdoms as created by the Creator himself.  The good spirits are allowed to move on to the Kingdom of Heaven, others may remain in Eden, whilst still others may be condemned to the third kingdom.  The third kingdom is the Abyss also known as Hell and Perdition.  Note too, Perdition is actually a separate area where spirits are condemned to the Abyss but are awaiting judgment.  This is the place where evil spirits reside and is a very dark place permeated with fire and brimstone.  Originally this kingdom is located behind the Mercy Seat (Throne of Judgment) where the Creator himself sits.  As time goes by, this dark and evil Kingdom of the Abyss is relocated and those of evil cast inside and a gate placed over and locked for a thousand years.  This is the Battle of Armageddon and the battle needs to be noted here.  Those of the evil Kingdom of the Abyss seek to overthrow and control those of good in the Kingdom of Heaven.  Now think about this.  Those of evil know only of pain, suffering, torment, and evil while those of good know only joy, happiness, and good.  Now think harder.  How do you cause pain and suffering to those who know only of joy and happiness?  On the same vein, how do you spread joy and happiness to those who know only pain and suffering?  Yes, it should be easy to see how good triumphs over evil in this battle.  You can't hurt or harm those that can't be hurt or harmed.  But stuff happens.  Is it making sense yet?  It is what it is.  Remember, we are not the ones behind all this creation and as such, we are not the ones that make these decisions.  With that being said, be forewarned, ask the one that created before trying to put words in his mouth.  Knowledge is being given on this page for those asking and for those seeking this knowledge.  The truth was, is, and always will be the truth.  Yes, in the Garden of Eden was created the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil as stated.  The beasts created in Eden and those sent to live out life in the flesh as well as those in the spirit as well.  Do beasts enter Heaven or the Abyss or exist only in Eden then?  Well, that is up to the Creator to decide so is there anything wrong with letting him make that decision?  Well?  But yes, the beasts and such were created first, then Adam and Eve and the rib from which Eve was created and all that other stuff.  A lot to read about ain't it?  And even some extra stuff about Lilith and Adam and many more stories not included in the official Bible.  But driven out of Eden and onto the Earth (actually the Earth is still a part of Eden) after being beguiled into eating fruit from a tree by a snake and all that fun stuff.  Speaking of that changeling, the most beautiful of creation (Lucifer the falling star), doesn't he become prominent in other stories as well (like maybe coming back as a cow or a fly or such)?  I wonder who was really chasing this mischief maker back in the day?  Kinda interesting to think about maybe the Hindus may have been witness to something.  And what about the Great White Father and Mother Earth and such too?  May not be a smart thing to try and discount people's stories rather than try to understand more to help fill in some blanks.  Who are we to know all.  THINKE.  Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything.  But the one behind creation does know all and it is a good idea to ask him first if it is true or not?  What, no answer?  Is there anything wrong with having patience and waiting for the answer?  Is there really something wrong with THINKEing for oneself?  Some things it is probably better not to know.  Trust me.  I mean is it really that important that Noah boarded the animals 2 by 2 or is it important that Noah sacrificed seven of the good animals and all that.  And what about the story of the angels fornicating and creating giants on earth and then roughly 1 out of 3 of the angels being cast out of Heaven just before this Great Flood?  Instead of worrying about other people's stories and details, shouldn't we be more concerned with our own?  Noah, Utnapishtim?  Cow / snake?  Speaking of snakes, where is this man ape that some guy was talking about?  Let alone all this apparent species interbreeding that is so rampant.  I mean you see humans with goats, horses, and nearly all types of animals yet where are these evolutionary offspring?  Better thought, a being yanks out a rib and creates a female form of a male from the same creature thus starting a long line of inbred rednecks that can't seem to keep stuff straight?  Honestly, have you actually seen any real men apes anywhere?  How about some inbred rednecks?  Who are you to believe?  And why aren't the dinosaurs still around?  Well?  Did the dinosaurs somehow evolve into Wooly Mammoths and Siberian Tigers and all that or what?  Really, there doesn't seem to be much interbreeding among the fossil remains either.  A Tyranostegabrontosaurusopotamus.  Sure, whatever.  Don't forget the flying pigs and horses too.  And where the horse is, a horse's ass, such as myself, probably follows (and was it Sarai or Sarah that was the woman that started sitting on her ass?  Men had been sitting on their asses long before then so about time women joined in).  But remember Adam and Eve BOTH ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil but NOT from the Tree of Life.  So here we started as a bunch of inbred rednecks and it seems little has changed since the beginning.  People have tried to make ape, dog, and horse people as shown on the internet (honest, just do a search for 'beastiality' if you don't believe me), but it just doesn't happen that way does it?  Leave it to the Greeks to make it illegal to personally interbreed with sheep in our time of need.  And then on the 7th day he, the Creator, rested while the rest, that were molded in his image, seemed to be infatuated with playing with asses for quite a while even into modern times.  Before modern times someone needed to be screwed for you to be here.  But now, thanks to test tubes and the miracles of modern science, your parent(s) may be a virgin too.

Enough horsing around, what about the next...
Question:  Is there life on other planets?

     Well, you asked.  Is there?

And you know this question has to be asked somewhere in here:  Is there really a God?  Really?  Seriously?

     Answer, YES.  I actually have seen HIM (and his son, but not his grandson).  From 'The New Math' book Chapter One, Subchapter VII...  "It was third or fourth grade that I also had a very odd thing happen.  My father was practicing with the band downstairs at night and I was getting ready to go to bed so I turned out the light.  When I turned out the light there was a very defined image in light by the basement door of a man sitting in a chair with a child on his left leg.  The man was sitting but looked to be about six feet tall with a beard [that stopped at his neck line] and mustache and wearing a long white robe with sleeves that covered his arms and upon his feet were open-toed sandals [like the sandals found on the 'ice man' or the 'bog man'].  The man had dark [brown] hair and [brown] eyes and his hair was full and wavy and brushed back off his forehead and just passed his shoulders in back.  The man looked to be between the age of 35 and 38.  The child had short blond hair and blue eyes and was wearing a boys’ suit with tied black shoes and looked to be about three years old.  The chair was solid with decorations all over it including a rounded top with two birds
[cherubs aka finch/swallow/sparrow, not cherubim aka baby angel but cherub aka bird] etched into the top, wings outstretched forward towards each other and facing each other in the middle.  In the late 1980’s I realized that this chair fit the exact description of the “mercy seat” or Throne of Judgment mentioned in the Bible for the Ark of the Covenant.  Nothing spoken and I turned the light off then back on again and still there.  Then I looked under the bed and out the window to see if it was some weird light source but nothing.  I then left the light off and closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep thinking"...

Question:  Light Spirits? Dark Spirits?  Huh?

     OK, it was designed since the beginning that spirits of good emit light whereas spirits of evil do not emit but absorb light.  This has nothing to do with flesh skin color.  As in life, good spirits radiate good energy around them whereas evil spirits have always tried to drain the energy from others.  Good spirits radiate whilst evil absorbs.  It is what it is.  But remember light spirit or dark spirit has nothing to do with the flesh's skin color but has to do with the good / evil within a spirit.

Question:  Auras?  Huh?

      OK, as best as I know here.  I'm not an expert on this.  First, apparently, according to a few people I have talked to that can see auras, all living and growing things have an aura around them which is apparently made up of colored light.  The colors can vary depending on the person's mood at the time and apparently there are two auras around a person.  The inner aura and an outer aura.  It has also been noted that when someone is about to die that their aura starts disappearing about a week beforehand. 
Plants, trees, shrubs, etc. also have an aura.  It appears that all living things have auras.  Rocks and such apparently do not have auras.  I have honestly never seen an aura myself, but I have had a discussion with a couple people about auras because of what I will state now.  The normal aura of a person is usually between six inches and a foot around their body.  It has also been noted that sometimes an aura can attach itself to someone (say a deceased spouse for instance) which can create a larger aura.  Why have I had a couple conversations with people about auras?  Well, imagine an aura so large that it can be seen in New York State while a person is in the State of California.  According to one individual my aura was about a 50 mile radius back in the early to mid 1980's.  Not inches or feet, but miles.  Anyone that can actually see auras knows where I am at all times.  My aura is apparently that huge and most likely has grown since then.  Why?  The only explanation that can apparently be given for this is that Peter is only the one with the keys to the Pearly Gates of Heaven.  The Keeper of the Book of Life is the one with the book that sorts out who is to go to Heaven and who goes to the Abyss.  Imagine an aura made of attached beings from around January / February 1964 through present times (and since I was born December 4, yes, the spirit is present with conception but may still leave even before birth).  Yes, all these auras waiting for the Keeper of the Book of Life to return to open the book once more.  So, yes, there actually is some measurable truth to people believing that I am the Keeper of the Book of Life since only such a person would have such a HUGE aura.

Question:  Flesh?  Spirit?  Life?  Death?  Huh?

Kinda redundant but here goes...  The spirit is the thoughts and actions that we have come to know as this feeling of life.  Without a thought process behind a substance, that substance remains a substance without life and once the thought leaves that substance, the substance returns to being just a substance.  Spirit and flesh.  Flesh and spirit.  It is the spirit within a being (substance) that makes the being what it was, is, and will become.  A child is still a child until that child learns and grows more to become an adult.  The accumulation of thought is what becomes knowledge within a spirit.  The flesh must learn to breathe (water or air) to sustain life and also must learn to nourish itself to sustain life in the flesh.  The spirit is what provides the knowledge of sustenance to the parts of the flesh.  With or without flesh, a spirit still exists.  Without a spirit, however, the flesh is just flesh (substance).  It is the combination of spirit within flesh that provides the knowledge of life.  Reincarnation is the process of a spirit returning (being used again) to provide life unto another subtance (flesh).  Resurrection is the process of a spirit reanimating a substance that was without spirit.  So it is the spirit, not the flesh (substance), that decides the existence of life or lack thereof.  So do rocks have thought?  If the rock has a spirit, then yes, otherwise no.  And who better to decide whether a box of rocks has thought or not than the Creator, himself, that designed this intricate system.  Maybe some day we can learn to do this stuff too, but maybe not.  Who knows?  Keep trying...

Question:  The Book of Life?  The Tree of Life?

     Yes, both trees are mentioned in the Book of Genesis as being in the Garden of Eden and both Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil but not from the Tree of Life thus being banished from the Garden of Eden.  But what happened after being banished from the Garden of Eden?  We don't know for sure as we were banished from the Garden of Eden.  Does the Garden of Eden still exist or was it destroyed or what?  The Creator knows but we don't know for sure.  We are told that the Garden of Eden is marked by a flaming sword and birds and such in the Bible.  And note too, there is no 'hidden secret' nor 'secret code' to the Bible.  Definitely be wary of this faker trick.  As stated in the Preface, the numbers were added to the Bible to aid in the translation of the passages and NOTHING MORE!  Was the Book of Life taken from the Tree of Life or is the Book of Life in actuality the Tree of Life itself completely ground down from tree to book form?  Does the Tree of Life still Exist in Eden?  We don't know and the one to ask doesn't seem too talkative lately.  But we do know that all our thoughts and actions are recorded into the Book of Life and there is a person that recites seven words over this book which allows the book to be opened and the contents revealed based on the words recited.  Food for thought.  Also note, yes, as stated in the Bible, the Creator, himself, writes and maintains the Book of Life.  Also also note that there are those not allowed into Heaven that seek information from the Book of Life.  What is one to do?  Well, problem solved before it occured (as usual with the Creator).  Create a position outside Heaven with an individual that maintains the Creator's library aka a Keeper of the Holy Library (including the Book of Life) so that the Creator can remain in Heaven and not have to leave nor have anyone who is not allowed into Heaven to enter Heaven.  Also also also note that there is also a gatekeeper (known as Peter) that maintains the keys to the pearly gates of Heaven and is NOT the same individual as the bookkeeper / librarian (known as Thee Ace Man or just Ace).

Question:  Transcendental meditation, collective consciousness?  Huh?

A long one probably here, but here goes...  We are not alone as you know (otherwise who else would be reading this?).  We also each have thought processes as well (collectively and separately).  Life with spirit, spirit with flesh.  The thought (spirit) is what directs what happens.  These thoughts and deeds are also what are recorded into The Book of Life as they happen.  Even if a person 'loses their mind' so to speak, the thoughts are still recorded.  A thought that is recorded can also possibly be retrieved.  Memory (or lack thereof possibly).  Stored as impulses that either radiate outward (good) or draw inward (evil).  And in order for someone to be caught doing evil, they must do evil.  Same as if someone does good.  By choice.  Some people's memories seem better than others, don't they?  So note, someone that tries to only remember the good and not the evil usually gets in trouble.  Why?  We are given the knowledge of good and evil is why?  Thinking about only good will block (in essence) the knowledge of evil and thusly evil will keep reocurring.  Just because you don't think of something does not mean that it doesn't exist.  Adam and Eve did NOT eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good OR Evil, but Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good AND Evil.  Get it yet?  Both.  It is one's actions as well as thoughts that get recorded into the Book of Life.  Both.  And as stated, thinking of oneself as well as others is good.  Thinking of just oneself or just others is not good.  Choices.  Decisions.  Can all this information be accessed?  In a sense, yes.  Remember, this is all information and as such is different than personal or single information.  Many different languages, thought processes, etc.  Very overwhelming for someone not prepared for such an endeavor.  All thoughts.  All actions.  All together.  Who's is who's then?  A collective thought collection is all encompassing, however, if one can learn to filter those thoughts (filtering is the process of separating) then individual knowledge can be attained.  Note also, the Book of Life is one way.  The Book of Life collects, not distributes, thoughts.  Once written in the Book of Life (collective thought) it can not be removed.  What is done can not be undone.  Also note, the Book of Life contains ALL knowledge, so without the proper filter(s), you get what you get.  Can evil exist without good or good exist without evil then?  Yes.  Most definitely.  Choices.  Decisions.  Remember, the Creator created the angels first then the spirits.  The Creator created so He has always known what goes on and what will go on.  The Creator has complete access as He is the one who designed this elaborate system in the beginning (alpha) through the end (omega).  What is to be done has always been known and by whom to the Creator.  Good and evil and in between as well.  We have the ability to choose and make decisions on our own as well as share these choices and decisions but we do not have the ability to choose and decide for others, only to share knowledge with others.  Others choose and decide as well (for better or for worst) as we do.  We can tap into this knowledge to gain information, however, that knowledge is still knowledge.  Knowledge for good.  Knowledge for evil.  Knowledge in between.  All together.  Collective.  Separate.  Together.  It is what it is.  Can people access other people's information from this central source?  Yes, they can providing they have the means to access this information and the ability to sort it out.  Like everything else, garbage in, garbage out.  It is what it is.  Personally, myself, being the Keeper of the Archive, I have the ability in the spirit to access all information.  However, in the flesh, because of things that I personally need to do in the flesh, my access has been denied externally.  The reason being is that I am to do things on my own and by referencing the Book of Life, because I have all access, it would be 'cheating' for what I need to do.  I have a huge aura, but very limited access.  Only my own thoughts in the flesh, no cheating.  Transcendental Meditation ("trance" for short) is the process of clearing one's own mind to try and allow thoughts to flow freely.  'Blocking' is when free flowing is not occuring.  Can one possibly 'see' everything in a trance?  Most definitely yes, but at some point you may need to refocus or defocus your attention or be lost.  Lost as in not being able to return.  Zoning in.  Zoning out.  It is what it is depending on the source.  Just as you are what you are whether you realize it or not.  But yes, through the Creator all things are possible and as we are molded in His image, so we are who we are and they are who they are and I am as whom I am.  Am is are was be being been.  To be or not 2B.  We do as we do.  Existence.  Spirit.  Substance.  More spirit.  More substance.  Life.  Death.  Making clay bunnies anyone?  Can I join in?

Question:  What of all this talk about the Sabbath (Day of Rest)?

And on the first day (Saturday at sunset until Sunday at sunset, but think about it, it all started with darkness so there really wasn't a 'sunset' until after there was the first 'sunrise' from the sun itself on the first day) and so on and so forth until we get to the seventh day which starts Friday at sunset and goes until Saturday at sunset.  According to the Creator, all things were set up by Him in six days and on the seventh day he rested.  This seventh day was set up as the holy day of rest and it was even stated to the hebrews that he who worked on the holy day would surely die.  So Jeshua (his grandson) worked on the holy day and he died upon a cross for saying he had a kingdom (according to Roman law not Hebrew Law, hint, hint about the Hebrews straying).  Then Jeshua was brought back to life after 3 days then ascended into Heaven.  If it was really that big of a deal, would Jesus have been allowed to come back after breaking the sabbath rule and other transgressions against the covenant with the hebrews?  Didn't the hebrews break that covenant first anyway with allowing moneychangers in the temples?  Things happen.  Wanna make something of it?  I think others already have.  Just stickin' to the facts...

Question:  First Coming, Second Coming?

The First Coming was the grandson (Jeshua, Jesus, Sower of Seeds, etc.), the Gatekeeper (Simon called Peter), and the baptism with water.  The Second Coming is the son (Emperor Emanuel, Reaper of the Harvest, etc.), the Holy Scribe (etc., Thee Ace Man, etc.) and the baptism with fire.  As you can see, these are NOT the same individuals between the First Coming and the Second Coming.  The individuals in the First Coming do not make a return trip in the Second Coming.  Don't know who or how the junk got started but honestly the son is not the grandson nor is the Gatekeeper the same individual as the Holy Scribe.  And fire is definitely not water, now, is it?  Some people.  But the First Coming was the times around the AD / BC era whilst the Second Coming is around the 2000 AD period.  The First Coming is the Sowing of Seeds with water, whilst the Second Coming is the Reaping of the Harvest with fire.  It is as it is.

Question:  And while on the subject, what about this 'the first shall be last and the last shall be first stuff?

OK, fair enough, here goes... The first of the Great Prophets of the Lord was Enoch and the last of the Great Prophets of the Lord is Thee Ace Man (Me).  We are of the same spirit just different flesh.  Also, Lucifer was first of the creation of the archangels and apparently Metatron (Enoch / Metatron / Thee Ace Man) is the last of the archangels.  Lucifer becomes last and Metatron becomes first in the hierarchy of the archangels. And then the lowest ranking archangel becomes ruler over the Abyss.  It is what it is.   And to note, I am the one in the prophecy about 'Peter the Roman' and trust me, I am not Peter reincarnated.  I am the Holy Scribe / Librarian / Bookkeeper, NOT the Gatekeeper.  So the first will be the last and the last will be the first is NOT accurate for the papacy prophesies.  Go figure.  The Alpha and the Omega was, is, and will be the Creator Himself.

Question:  What of all this written about penance and repentence in The New Math book?  Didn't Jesus die on the cross to pardon us of all our sins...?

     Many have misspoken on this subject so clarification is in order here.  To answer this, would Heaven be such a heavenly place full of spirits in need of forgiveness all the time?  The answer is no.  The other answer is that Jesus' grandfather is the Creator of all and as such is also lord over all and has the final say on things.  The Creator as noted is everliving.  How do you inherit something from one that is everliving and everlasting?  You don't.  Point made.  Nothing has truly (verily) changed since the beginning.  Heaven is Heaven.  The Abyss is the Abyss.  And all points inbetween are inbetween.  Heaven and the Abyss are both 'spirit only' places.  Inbetween is inbetween (aka Eden).  Inbetween has both spirit and flesh.  Heaven and the Abyss as stated are both 'spirit only'.  Jesus did not misspeak but has been misunderstood many times.  During Jesus' times there were rules that if one committed adultery to be forgiven one had to gather certain animals for a sacrifice unto the lord and all that.  Now think for a second, what the blazes does sacrificing a turtle, turtledove, or a dove have to do with forgiving someone for committing adultery?  Precisely.  The Creator stated the hebrew laws to know whether the hebrews (both Israel and Judah) were with the Creator or not, not as a be all end all you must follow these rules to enter into Heaven, but as a reminder that people can stray.  The practice stopped after Jesus' passing.  The one who created all stated to the hebrews (israelites and jews alike) that so long as the Creator saw that the hebrews were hearing and obeying the Creator's laws that the Creator would be with the hebrews and guide them.  Then the Creator's grandson was hung upon a cross and left to die after being angry about money changers being allowed into his "father's (grandfather's) temples".  The laws were not being kept and as a result the Creator stated that he would scatter the hebrews and forsake them as they had forsaken him, the Creator.  What also needs to be noted is that Jesus (Jeshua) stated that those who call out my name I will stand with them before my father (grandfather/Creator).  But also Jesus stated that there would be many that would call out my name, Jesus/Jeshua, but I do not hear them.  Which means NOT everyone is to be saved just by mentioning Jesus' name!  There is no 'free ticket' and has never been a free ticket into Heaven for anyone including Jesus!  All that is known is recorded into the Book of Life by design.  When one exists, the thoughts of existence are recorded into the Book of Life.  As such it has always been known, is known, and always will be known what is to happen based on these thoughts contained within the Book of Life. 
Life in the flesh is what is recorded into the Book of Life.  Life in the spirit is another story (and possibly another book as well).  As far as I know, the Creator's and Lucifer's thoughts are not found in the Book of Life EXCEPT when they deal with someone in the flesh.  AKA with Abraham, Moses, Noah, Jesus, and such.  Nothing has changed since the beginning of man's existence in the flesh.  From Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel and Seth, and so on...  Heaven has not changed nor has the Abyss (Hell) changed either.  So again, how heavenly would Heaven be if those allowed into Heaven felt it was alright to break the rules all the time and just say "Jesus save me" then be saved?  Doesn't happen that way does it?  And as Jesus himself stated which many seem to forget is that "those that go forward in my name I will stand with them before my father (grandfather actually)" as well as "There will be many that call out my name but I will not hear them.".  Um, trying to bullshit someone is not going forward in Jesus' name last anyone knew.  Do you think that Jesus doesn't realize that you aren't listening and are just trying to bullshit your way out of paying for the horrible way you treat others?  Think again.  Think harder.  Now think back to penance (doing what you can to correct that which was done wrong) and repentance (admitting that a wrong was done).  Remember about buttholes, above, who feel that others should follow rules and a butthole can do what they want.  Well, how heavenly would Heaven be filled with buttholes just saying "Jesus forgive me" all the time?  You know the truth was, is, and always will be the truth, correct?  Maybe instead of sacrificing animals it might be better to ask people to be responsible for their own actions, correct?  Now THINKE (Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything).  Do you honestly think that a spirit is going to agree to having their mouths, arms, legs, and whatever else removed just so they can enter into Heaven?  But how much harm can someone do without the means to do it?  THINKE again.  THINKE harder.  Forgiveness for mistakes and misjudgments perhaps, but not for being a butthole throughout eternity.  And yes, a butthole is still one who thinks that all the rules apply to everyone else but themselves and a butthole still makes rules for others to follow but they refuse to follow their own rules themselves.  And why don't people sacrifice animals to gain forgiveness for committing adultery and such anymore?  All bullshit aside, thank Heaven that the Creator, himself, isn't a butthole.  Amen.

Question:  Didn't God (the Creator), Himself, state that all people will be judged according to their own and that people do not need an 'interceder' on their (our) behalfs?

     Exactly.  To cross reference here...  When Moses pleaded with the Creator on behalf of those that worshipped the golden calf, the Creator explicity told Moses that all people are held accountable for their own actions.  Throughout the Holy Bible itself as well as nearly all sacred sciptures ever written it seems the same theme is prevalent.  We are all held accountable for what we say and do and not for what others say and do.  Both good and evil.  That includes Moses, himself, when Moses was asked not to bang his staff upon the rock but did so anyway and thusly was not allowed to pass into the Promised Land of Bees and Cows (milk & honey too).  We are not held accountable for other people's actions or thoughts, only our own.  To each according to their own as stated.  Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Moses, Captain John Pocahontas Smith, Saint Bubba, Sainte Oops, etc.  No intercession.  We are also not born with knowledge of good and evil, only the knowledge that we have life when starting out.  Kind of opposite from the trees.  Those who eat only from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil are given the knowledge of life in the flesh (death included), we never ate from the Tree of Life to retain the knowledge of what good and evil really are throughout eternity in the flesh.  The Tree of Knowledge gives life in its way whilst the Tree of Life gives knowledge in its way.  They work together even when apart.  When the Creator's grandson was nailed upon a cross and left to die, did the Creator intercede?  No.  Judas of Escariot and others were hoping that the Creator would intercede but the Creator did not.  But then too, the Creator's grandson walked around dead after 3 days then ascended into Heaven after talking with others.  Who knew?  Who knows?  Ask?  Heaven never forbade asking.  But why doesn't the current church want you to talk with the Creator directly?  Well, I asked anyway.  Innocent until proven otherwise.  The true Meek.  The true church.  Works for me.  Maybe the current church can save itself.  Probably not.

Question:  So are you saying that everything written in the Holy Bible may not be true?

     Yes, in a sense I am saying that.  Not EVERYTHING, but there are some things that aren't quite accurate here and there. 
Take for instance Solomon saying that the Creator thinks he is perfect.  I've never known Almighty (God, Shaddai, etc.) to be that way.  And as far as the New Testament and Peter and Paul saying certain things like 'Paul said Peter said that Jesus (Jeshua) said he was the Son of God when in reality Jesus only ever said that he was referred to by some as the Son of God, but that Jesus, himself, NEVER said he was the Son of God.  In fact the story Jesus knew from his mother, Mary, was that the Holy Spirit was the one with his mother, not Almighty Himself, and also knowing that the Holy Spirit was the Son of God as foretold.  But it is on record that the Roman Church was founded by a few that misspoke on others' behalfs (namely Simon / Peter and Saul / Paul).  As far as the history of the hebrews and ancient times before in the Old Testament (which includes the Torah), the information is highly accurate for what it pertains towards.  However, what about the missing original australians, the original americans (north and south) and such.  As stated, it does appear that the hebrews were very stiff-necked and concerned mainly with their existence.  It seems that stuff would be mentioned of others but then again, it was probably decided that the hebrews didn't need to know about them.  It does appear that Moses most likely did have a conversation at some point with the Creator himself, but also appears that some stuff was probably not needed to be known at the time to Moses and the hebrews.  And Moses was brought up as an Egyptian, so of course Moses was slow in speech and had a funny accent too in hebrew.  Saul of Tarsus (Apostle Paul) from the New Testament really comes to mind on the lack of truth.  Much of what he wrote IS what he wrote but not accurate to the truth (aka made up).  What is written is a history of things that happened both good and bad thrown together and indifference as well.  There are missing pieces that happened outside the hebrews, greeks, and all that.  Nothing wrong in finding more answers.  Throughout history different people have had different ideas and different experiences.  Problem is do people grow from those different experiences others have or do they wall themselves in and exclude others?  Well?  Yes we are all different.  But a core rule of "we should not be hurting one another (as in the hurtful Abyss) but working more towards learning from one another and helping one another (as in the helpful Heaven)" seems like a better course to take doesn't it?  New World Order with universal laws seems plausible doesn't it?  World peace?  Regardless of ethnicity and all that, we all do seem to have a knowledge of good and evil as a base somewhere in all these stories (Vishnu, Olympus, Great White Father, Buddha, Tao, Dao, Yin, Yang, etc.).  Could all these stories be real?  Could these stories be made up?  Both?  Aha I think we're on to something here.  Both.  As we have fiction and nonfiction in our own times, they did not label stories as such in ancient times.  Which is which?  Well, that which is true will always be true and that which is not true will always be untrue.  And sometimes mix and match a little truth with untruth to embellish as well.  We're all different and by all means not everything happens to any one person.  But oh the stories of a lifetime you hear.  Imagine an eternity of stories.  Now imagine an eternity of sharing different stories with different people.  Now imagine an eternity of anger and hatred.  Now imagine an eternity of happiness.  We are who and what we are at this time, but things tend to change as time goes by as people learn more.  But do you really need to know everything?  Really?  Me neither, but it's still nice to THINKE (Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything) on it.

Question:  Saints? Sinners? Huh?

      OK. now for some more answers to digest.  First, as stated in the Holy Bible itself, the Creator is the one who decides saint, sinner, etc.  We also know of the Book of Life as well which also seems to know.  People in the flesh are not to judge such things.  When something happens, honest, talk to the Creator as he knows who is best suited to help out.  Did the Creator not know about Moses, King David, Solomon and such?  Why doubt him?  Why make all these stories up about how the Creator isn't able to help so pray to a 'lesser god' so to speak.  Augustine, Christopher, Peter, and so on...  Is there something wrong with letting the Creator decide who is best to help?  No there isn't.  In fact, if you wonder why you don't get help, think again.  You are probably praying to the wrong one. 
I mean look at the 'About the Author' page on this site and does that picture look like the person that the current (falsely named) church promotes?  Graven images indeed.  The one that created all knows so why all the false prophets, saints, sinners, etc.?  Why all the feast / famine?  Why?  Because someone made stuff up and others were forced to follow this or perish is why.  Burned at the stake and all that other fun stuff that goes with nutcases that try to force their opinions over facts.  Is there something wrong with being honest?  There used to be but people have wised up about the sun revolving around the flat Earth and all that other fun stuff that still continues.  Always remember, the truth will out.  And yes, I did originally ask the question of "What year was Jesus born in?  Surely if we know the month and day then surely someone must know the year as well?"  To which the sunday school teacher replied "The year zero" which as people now know, the year zero does not exist and never existed.  But you must memorize what we tell you or face excommunication.  Being kicked out of a church that lies I feel is not a bad idea.  Becoming a liar yourself is not a good idea.  Decisions, decisions.  Choices, choices.  And Judas of Escariot turned in Jeshua (Jesus) because Judas was hoping that Jeshua's anger would be fully released and the Roman's vanquished.  Not to be.  More decisions.  More choices...

Question:  Lands of Eden?

     Yup.  Lands.  Plural.  Remember BOTH Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil while neither ate from the Tree of Life.  As such, they were cast out of the Garden of Eden and into another land of Eden.  To remain in the Garden of Eden, one needs to have neither good nor evil within them.  So yes, cast out as well as the serpent that beguiled.  To enter Heaven only knowledge of good.  For the Abyss only knowledge of evil.  Eden, the lands between these two realms.  The Garden where neither good nor evil exist.  The Earth as we know it where life exists as flesh with both good and evil.  And the one that created it all.  So doggy heaven, dinosaur heaven, turtle heaven, and all that.  It is what it is was and will be.  Existence.  To each their own.  That is why you shouldn't prejudge others.  Do you really know for sure?  Heaven, Eden, the Abyss?  Really?  Really.  But spirit, flesh, and all that.  Are you positive?  Negative?  Neither?  Both?  Return trip?  Precisely.  So many possibilities.  As the Creator has made, does make, and will make decisions.  As we are in his image, should we not make decisions as well?

Question:  If there really is a 'God' (Creator), why doesn't he get more involved and set things right and all that?

     Ok.  An explanation is in order here.  And that leads to this question, do you really want someone meddling in everything you do?  Seriously.  Is there something wrong with being yourself whatever that may be?  Don't you think the Creator has done enough setting up Heaven, Eden, the Abyss and all that and you want him to do everything else too?  Are you really that lazy?  Is there something wrong with being able to do things on your own without someone having to watch over your shoulder all the time?  Really?  Is there something wrong with solving your own problems as best you can?  If someone else always does everything for you, how are you going to learn to do on your own if this individual isn't there all the time?  Yes, that is why in the beginning, the Creator was more directly involved in people's lives.  As you get more experience you realize that it is better to let others work on solving their own problems in case you have something more important to do than babysit someone.  How is one to learn to become more self sufficient if someone always intervenes all the time?  Can't we (
like Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jeshua / Jesus) intervene on our own?

Question:  Why does there seem to be so many ugly people out there?

     Ok.  Think about this, an ugly person gets horny and doesn't care who they have sex with so long as they have sex.  A better looking person gets horny and either keeps it to themselves or prances around stage looking to make some money.  It's the law of averages really.  But get drunk enough and everyone looks better until the morning comes and the sun rises and the light of truth comes out.  And yes, this rule also applies in a different way to the question of why are there so many stupid people out there as well?  The stupidity also comes from the origins as well of Adam and Eve and inbreeding and all that.  Truthfully, who cares how stupid they are so long as they look good?  Who cares how smart someone is so long as they look good too?  But what one may see as looking good, another may see as a blemish.  We are who we are,  We're all brothers and sisters so to speak, so what are you waiting for?  Honesty, truthfulness?  Horny enough to screw a jackrabbit?  Anywho, things happen.  We all lead different lives.  Is there anything wrong with being different?  Is there anything wrong with being the same?  Anything wrong?  By the way, fame, fortune, lack thereof, it is what it is.  You are what you are.  And speaking of which, aren't you tired of talking to a vacuous airhead or is that what you want?  Something for everyone out there.  Nothing for everyone too.  Choices.  Speaking of which, when someone makes a bad decision then what?  What about a good decision?  Any decision.  Lack thereof.  All that time wasted or put to good use or what?  Inside.  Outside.  Shallow.  Deep.  We are what we are.  Maybe you're the ugly one and no one knows it?  Maybe not.  Up to you.  But honestly, those that think they are better than others always seem to turn out ugly regardless of looks.  Just a thought.  Everyone is perfekt in some way.  No one is truly perfect.  How can someone learn what not to do if they never make a mistake?  But then again, shouldn't you be trying to learn to do things correctly the first time?  What change?  Ugly on the outside.  Ugly on the inside.  Just freaking beautiful.  It is what it is.

The big question:  Is there life after death?

     Answer read above.  Yes.  There is also life before life too.  Not for all though.  Some may start from the Garden of Eden.  Some may come from Heaven.  Some may come from the Abyss.  Some may just arrive.  As stated many times, we are all different.  As stated in The New Math Book as well, "We all come from ourselves eventually".  It is the way it was, is, and will be.  And as stated, it is not the same for all so trying to sum it up that way does not work properly.  Some may even come from the land of Eden we inhabit now for all we know.  It is what it is.  But for some, their spirit may return in another flesh body if the Creator and The Book of Life so state.  We are not the ones that decide such things.  It seems that the son of the Creator became younger in Heaven before being born of the flesh at a rate of about one heaven year to between 7 to 10 flesh years.  Myself, on the other hand, seemed to still appear old unto Edgar until at least 20 years before I was born.  It is what it is.  As it is different for the Creator, the Creator's son (Emperor Emanuel), the Creator's grandson (Jeshua, Yeshua, Jesus), it is also different for others as well.  But yes, after the flesh dies, the spirit of the flesh still exists as it exists outside the flesh.  While life exists, a (or many) spirit(s) inhabit(s) the flesh.  But don't be fooled, each is different so there really is no 'catch all' category for this.  As the Creator himself, life is what it is.  Death is what it is.  Existence is what it is.  We be or not 2b, the new math.

Question:  What about cremation and such?

Answer, read above, already answered indirectly, but...  When the body dies, the spirit leaves. When the spirit leaves, the body dies.  Can a spirit inhabit another body after death of a body?  That is up to the Creator to decide on an individual basis; however, yes, A spirit may occupy another body after a body has died.  Obviously, a dead body has no spirit thus dead.  So to finally answer, cremation does NOT destroy a person's spirit/thoughts throughout eternity.  Just as burning at the stake of a live person (body and spirit), cremation does NOT alter the spirit.  It is not based on how a person dies, but based on how a person has led their lives that decides the spirit's fate.  And that fate, as noted many times, is left up to the Creator.  Shouldn't the one that created be allowed to decide?  Which will bring us to...

Question:  Good versus Evil?

OK, good time for this one.  Good versus Evil.  It has been discussed above but time for a more direct discussion of this one.  Good, as in 'heavenly'.  Evil, as in 'hellish'.  No gray areas.  Others have tried to create 'gray areas' that do not exist.  We are not of the Garden of Eden where neither good nor evil exist.  No gray areas.  Seriously.  No gray areas.  It is one's intentions as well as one's actions that bring about good or evil.  Intending to hurt, evil.  Intending to help, good.  All lies aside, this is the truth. 
People learn and make mistakes too.  No one is born knowing everything.  Some take longer than others to learn as well.  We're all different.  But during this learning process it will become evident what type (good or evil) a person is.  A good person can do evil as well as an evil person may do good at times.  But overall, a preference becomes apparent in each person as they grow older.  An evil person will cover up (at least publicly anyway) their intentions and will try to deny fault.  Hence modern psychology/psychiatry techniques ENABLE evill.  There is no teaching, in any system out there, about what evil is.  And point blank, evil is about doing things to others that one would not like if it was done to them.  You can't unrape, unmurder, and so on.  Hence, so many problems out there that do not get fixed.  And yes, this leads to the 'New World Order' discussion again.  See how this all connects?  And to tie in with this and something to think on...  Drugs are a biggie here.  Those seeking to feel invincible and able to do whatever they want use drugs as an EXCUSE as to why they behave the way they do.  AVOIDANCE.  Another person using the same drugs does not do such things.  Predisposition.  Think about it seriously.  Why?  Because it is the thoughts of the person whether on drugs or not, that is the problem.  Not the drugs themselves.  No duh.  Like minded people behave similarly.  Good or bad.   A person "zonked out of their skull" is much easier to control than someone that isn't.  Evil people know and use this as a weapon against others to avoid self blaming.  Most times during someone's life, there is a pause to make decisions with.  An evil person will wish to take that away.  Brainwashing.  Exploiting.  Torture.  And alternatively, patience.  An evil person never has patience because if they thought about what they were really doing they would not do it.  Ask an evil person to have patience and you are asking for trouble.  Evil people are troublemakers.  Good people are problem solvers.  Which are you?  Experimentation shows it is the thought process of the person, and not any drugs, that is behind a person's actions/inactions.  And the problem is "I can do whatever I want just try and stop me."  Whether on drugs or not this is always a problem.  An evil problem.  How do you stop someone hellbent on being evil.  You isolate them so they can only hurt themselves and not others.  Why perpetuate evil when you don't have to?  To do something evil to an evil person only perpetuates the problem.  Be good.  Don't be evil.  That is how evil is stopped.  An evil person can not understand "do unto others..." because an evil person is all about 'me' and does not understand 'others'.   What is good for one is not good for all, but what is good for all is good for one.   "It is easier to thread a camel through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into Heaven."  Which leads us to...

Question:  Is it true that in order to be a success you need to make a lot of money and/or be famous?

     Nope.  Actually, they don't need money or fame in Heaven or the Abyss.  Money and fame just seems to be one of those lands of Eden things that didn't seem to catch on elsewhere.  And with that being said, inheritance and possession laws are the reasons why most of the haves have while the have nots have not.  Without inheriting and possession, most of the haves would have not and most of the have nots would still have not.  It is not intelligence based in all honesty nor divine judgment or such.  It just is what it is and helps each of us to become who we are.  Material wealth definitely does not equal spiritual wealth by any means.  Just as spiritual wealth does not equal material wealth.  Truly meaning that just because one has material wealth definitely does not mean that they in turn have spiritual wealth like they wish you to believe.  Being spiritually wealthy is being blessed.  Being materially wealthy is usually (but not always) caused by being greedy.  As we are taught, the greedy are not blessed.  And also, one that may be materially wealthy may not be greedy in some instances.  Each person is different remember.  Being materially unwealthy is also not the same as being cursed.  Remember from above, in order for one or more to be caught doing evil, evil must occur, correct?  And how would you feel if what you are currently doing was being done back to you?  Great, glad to hear it.  Terrible?  You reap what you sow, so be careful of the seeds you plant as what grows may not what you thought or wished others to think it was in reality.   And when the scale of good and evil tips, which way will it tip or will it be equal?  Did you thread that camel through the eye of a needle yet?  Even better, is it time for a lunch break yet?

Question:  Is it true that 'the Lord (Creator) works in mysterious ways'?

The Creator, Himself, does not seem so mysterious in all honesty.  Who's side do you choose when all sides appear to be in the wrong (read above about father, son, grandson, and so much more)?  The things that mankind has said and done in the name of the Creator, without talking with the Creator himself, makes you scratch your head in confusion however (think about it, the religious practitioners keep saying how God is perfect while in the Ten Commandments itself, God says he is a jealous god and that He is The Lord, Thy Father, The God of Abraham and Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.  Can someone actually point out where it says anywhere in the Holy Scriptures where God [the Creator] says "I am perfect!"  I thought so.   Who is more correct, the practitioners or God Himself?  And think about it too, He admits to being the one who saw Abraham, not some substitute as others have tried to claim.  And yes, the Creator and his two sidekicks [his son on the left and his grandson on the right as described in the Holy Bible] are noted to have appeared before Abraham as well).  These are my words and I can be honest but can you?  Hence this web page.  And also, read what is actually written instead of taking shortcuts like the wrong people want you to do.  Hence why I haven't included 'scriptural references and such (Genesis, Daniel, Revelation, etc.)'.  Read the WHOLE, not just parts.  What is written on this page does not go against the Creator himself (nor the Talmud, Torah, etc.), but does make you scratch your head as to why so many have claimed conference with the Creator, yet in the same sentence say that contact with the Creator is impossible (this may sound silly and hypocritical, but seriously this kind of stuff happens all the time it seems, doesn't it?).  I do not make such claims.  I know better.  I also know that the Creator does exist, so why would I say otherwise?  To save so called experts' feelings?  And knowing that the Creator actually exists, I would not wish to put words in his mouth that did not come out of his mouth directly.  Others have said what they have said.  I am saying what I feel I need to say too.  And when experts get proven wrong time and again (the Sun revolves around the Earth, the Earth is flat, Saturn's rings are solid, and on and on it seems) then what?  Write more I guess...

Question:  What will happen to all the Heretics, Infidels, and Gentiles?

Good question.  As you have probably figured out by this question, This is probably the ultimate 'do unto others' topic that can be discussed.  It is not odd that many religions nowadays intimidate people into believing they have the answers.  The honest answers are on this page and as such, this page is being written by a Heretic / Infidel / Gentile because I can not be intimidated that way by Christians, Muslims, and Jews.  When all are in the wrong, who's side do you choose?  Precisely.  You create.  The Meek.  The Meek that realize that Heaven wouldn't be such a heavenly place with a bunch of individuals running around breaking rules and asking for forgiveness all the time.  The Meek that realize that being surrounded by 40 virgins isn't such a great idea.  The Meek who realize that neither God nor Lucifer (Satan) directed you to act like that, but that you choose to behave that way on your own.  It is truly sad that instead of being inclusive, Christians, Muslims, and Jews become exclusive.  That being said that unless you accept all we tell you, we will brand you as a Heretic, Infidel, or Gentile, even though what you are being told is most likely wrong.  Such is the sad state of affairs of modern religion.  And what of the Hindus, Buddhists, etc. and so on... ?  What is the real truth?  Well, if something is true, it will always hold true.  If something is false, some may believe it to be true, but it is still false.  Who to believe?  What to believe?  A Meek can be honest.  Christians, Muslims, and Jews can not be honest without being outcast.  For unless a Meek, if you were to say that God has a son and a grandson, you would be labeled a Heretic, Infidel, and Gentile by the elite because the elite make the rules that others have to follow and you are not following their rules.  The Meek as were created in the image of God, who realize that God allows people to make their own choices but have to live with the consequences of their choices as well as the choices others make.  Multiple 'gods' coming together to try to solve problems, or multiple 'gods' clashing to try and prove who is right?  We all make our choices as others make choices as well.  So pretty much if you figured it out, the Christians, Muslims, and Jews get what's coming to them as they become replaced by the Heretics, Infidels, and Gentiles who form the Meek (who wish not things be done to others that one would not like it if it was done to them).

Question:  A roof is sloped 60 degrees on the south side and 30 degrees on the north side with a peak in the middle and the wind is blowing at 30 miles per hour in a southern direction.  If a rooster lays an egg in the middle of the roof, according to the laws of probability and chance, which direction will the egg most likely roll?

     The probability and chance of a rooster laying an egg is zero.

Question:  OK smarty, a hen lays an egg on the same roof with the same wind speed from the question above, which way does it roll now, huh, smarty?


Question:  Which came first the chicken or the egg?

      Every horny rooster knows that you can screw with an egg all you want and it will never cum.  The chicken of course silly.  The rooster then rolls over and falls asleep whether the chicken or the egg cums or not.

Question:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

      To get away from stupid questions I imagine.  Any more bright ideas?

Question:  Should I load the roll of toilet paper so that it pulls from the top or the bottom?

Thanks to modern 'germaphobes' (people afraid of germs), the correct answer would be from the top to avoid germs from the paper resting against the toilet paper holder.  But note, if you are tired of germaphones whining about germs all the time then you might load the paper so it pulls from the bottom just to hear the germaphobe(s) whine some more.  Or if you had forethought, you may have mounted the toilet paper holder sideways so that now it becomes an issue of left or right?  And when a person asks if you wipe with your left or right hand, kindly remind them that you use toilet paper yourself and recommend the same for them too.

Question:  Do you know the difference between being smart and being a smart ass?

     Nope.  What is the difference?  I thought so dumb ass.

Question:  Does someone really have all the answers?

     Does someone really have all the questions to give all the answers to?  Raise your hands.  OK, now does anyone over the age of four have all the questions that need answers?

Question: The New Math?

     Yes. The new math.  Are you part of the problems or part of the solutions.  Your choice as well as my own.

     Answer:  Have you really noticed now that there really is nothing new out there.  Just knowledge that has always been there but many just refuse to THINKE for whatever reasons.  Yes, there can be some comfort in Taking Heart In Not Knowing Everything.  Are you comfortable with yourself or wishing to change?  It may be too early, on time, or too late.  You may know or may not know.  You are who you are by choice.  Chewed up.  Spit out.  Chews.  Choose.  Any more bright ideas?  So saith The Keeper of The Book of Life.  "The meaning of life in one word -> oops."

The Science of Science
OK, here it is, The New Math Book Science of Science Page.

This page is being written by me, Thee Ace Man.  And a story to go with this.  There was a rift in thinking in the scientific community started by others but noted by Albert, who was seen as the "World's Smartest" until his passing in 1955.  Albert was actually not happy with the term 'smartest' as he felt that that term had a connotation of being as smart as you could be.  Albert never felt smartest himself so he came up with an unofficial title of "World's Smarter" which Albert was more than happy with.  On passing, the "World's Smartest" title went to Dr. Stephen, whereas the "World's Smarter" title was passed on to Sir Nicholas (Nick), Albert's last 'assistant' before passing away in 1955.  As this was an 'unofficial' title, there are no real rules or such associated with "World's Smarter".  World's Smartest is assigned from the time it is assigned until death.  From Charles to Albert to Dr. Stephen.  Anyway, In April / May 1979, Both myself, Ace, and Sir Nicholas shared the "World's Smarter" title.  Sir Nicholas passed away in December 2009 thus leaving myself, as far as I know, being the only one having the title of World's Smarter.  Someone else got a 187 on the IQ test but I don't know if Nick ever even met this person.  From Albert to Sir Nicholas to Sir Nicholas and Ace to now just Ace (Me).  Albert knew that politics would keep Sir Nicholas, Nick, from getting the World's Smartest title.  Sir Nicholas also felt as Albert did about the 'smartest' connotation.  So not getting the title of smartest was not really a disappointment to Nick, it was just that with all the other great minds of the time, why Dr. Stephen (who was one of Nick's accusers of Nick not doing his own work, which Nick did do his own work)?  I heard Dr. Stephen got it because he was the one suggested that seemed least likely to 'rock the boat' like Charles and Albert had done before as World's Smartest.  Nick seemed overqualified for 'rocking the boat' but was still a suggestion.  So a rift occured and still exists.  Myself, I prefer Smarter to Smartest as well, and how about you?  Read on...

Let's get started by defining what 'science' is shall we?

Science is a study of the universe around us in an attempt to make sense of it all in terms we can understand or possibly learn to understand.

Yup, pretty vague here.  There are all kinds of scientific fields to explore - space, time, biological (animal), mathematics, life, death, botanical (plants), atmospheric, chemical, behavioral, everything, anything, etc. etc.

Let's start with the six known (and possibly more unknown) states of matter (matter is substance and substance has a form [state]).

First state, gas - gas is usually invisible in sight to us but surrounds most things within our atmosphere.  Gases like oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, helium, etc. 

Second state, vapor - vapor is thought of as an in between state but is actually its own state.  Vapor may be part gas, part solid, part liquid, part kolloid but is often thought of as the term 'mist'.  Anything misty is a vapor.  Anything foggy is a vapor as well.  Clouds are vapor as well.

Third state, liquid - liquid is thought of as fluid.  Fluids like water, oil, hydraulic fluid, etc. 

Fourth state, kolloid - kolloid is like a liquid but also like a solid.  Kolloid is semi-solid and semi-liquid.  Gelatin is an example of a kolloid.

Fifth state, solid - solid has definite shape and form and a hardness.  Solid as a rock.

Sixth state, spark - spark is the release of energy within or without a substance of matter.  Electrical sparks, lightning, explosions, thoughts, etc.

And to combine these, let's talk about the composition of the human body.  You have skin (kolloid), bones (solid), blood (liquid), lungs (kolloid), air (gas / vapor), fingernails (solid), eyes (kolloid), brain (kolloid), ear drums (solid / kolloid), saliva (liquid / kolloid), and in some odd cases thoughts (sparks).
And what about antimatter, emptiness (void), metallic, and spirit, and so on and so forth?  Well, things are as they are, aren't they?  Science is the study of everything, isn't it?

These are particles.  Matter.  Although a particle may be small or large it can be measured.  Which brings us to the study of the wave frequency of particles.  Many particles can be mobile (such as light particles) and some may be immobile (such as rocks).  A moving particle is said to be in an 'excited' state.  How excited depends on how fast it may be moving.  Speed of particles is measured in what are called 'wave frequencies'.  Infrared particles tend to generate heat.  Microwave particles also generate heat.  Both microwave and infrared particles are both invisible to the eye but they can be measured and do exist.  Shockwaves, magnetic waves, gravitational waves, sound waves, brain waves, and so on.  Moving particles.  Movement.  A nice, simple instrument known as a prism (a triangular shaped piece of glass) can be used to show particular movement.  Visible light shows up in a prism in distinct bands which match the bands of a rainbow.  Waves lower than visible light (infrared, microwave) appear below the light spectrum whilst there is ultraviolet and three distinct bands (alpha, beta, gamma) that appear above the light spectrum.  But if visible light is the highest speed you can go before 'going back in time' then how are distinct bands of light possible above the visible light spectrum?  If a particle supposedly goes back in time after reaching the speed of light, then how are ultra violet, alpha, beta, and gamma particles possible?  Yes, something definitely wrong with the 'time / space' continuum theory.  The equation actually deals with the speed of light times itself as being equilibrium, not just the speed of light.  But theories are just that, theories.  The thought is that if you go as fast as the speed of light that time will stop then faster than the speed of light and time will reverse.  With that thought, ultra violet, alpha, beta, and gamma particles could not exist.  They do exist.  So.  Further study is definitely needed. 

How about a study of friction now.  Friction is caused by moving particles coming in contact with other particles (moving or nonmoving).  A direct result of friction is heat.  Rub your hands together.  Friction.  Heat.  Moving particles.  Our Sun is a HUGE collection of moving particles.  Now look to the sky.  Yes there are particles of light coming from the Sun through our atmosphere thus slowing down from the friction of traveling through the atmosphere.  Also particles in space (debris and such) itself as the Earth rotates around its axis and around the Sun.  The Earth's axis is tilted at about 66 2/3 degrees and as such, the north part of the Earth as well as the south part of the Earth have periods where they tilt away from the Sun as the Earth revolves around the Sun.  The middle section (equator area) is not affected as much by the tilt.  When tilted away (north and south), not as much light comes in contact with the atmosphere.  When tilted towards, more contact.  Also, when tilted away, the light is deflected more and when titled towards more direct and nondeflected.  The seasons.  Spring, summer, winter, fall.  More friction in summer, thus more heat.  Also, more plant life, more oxygen.  Less plant life, desert.  Not that much oxygen or carbon dioxide in the desert.  Or is there?  Plants breathe carbon dioxide and produce oxygen, whilst animals breathe oxygen and produce carbon dioxide.  Not much life in a desert is there?  Has anyone ever measured the levels of carbon dioxide or oxygen in a desert compared to elsewhere?  Such is science nowadays.  Can't make money in a desert so why bother?  It is as it is.  Our Moon seems to be a big desert.  No oxygen or carbon dioxide on the Moon or is there?  So many unanswered questions.  Such is science.  Always busy with studying something.  Busy, busy, busy.  Study, study study.  THINKE (Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything).  But it is something to think about.

And what about the atmospheric composition itself?  The outer hydrosphere (hydrogen), heliosphere (helium), lithosphere (lithium), stratosphere, ionosphere (formerly magnetosphere), etc.  Our immediate atmosphere seems to be comprised of a lot of carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen, and more.  A good mix of different gases.  As you head farther out from the Earth's surface, the gases seem to separate out according to molecular weight.  And then out in space, void.  No oxygen, hydrogen, helium, etc.  Just space.  Particles still exist in space, but much more spread out and fewer and farther between.  Vacuum, nothingness.  Space.  Even more to think about.

Even more to think about here.  We know that marijuana (canibis) causes the same feeling as lettuce leaves, banana peels, and more importantly Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas).  We, as true scientists know that it is the laughing gas that causes the uncontrollable laughing when high nitrogen content plant life is smoked.  But unlike banana peels, lettuce leaves, and laughing gas, canibis also has a side effect of creating 'the munchies' aka an uncontrollable urge to eat.  We know what the Nitrogen does, but there is an unknown ingredient (defined as Tetra HydraCanibinal or THC) which is apparently what causes the munchies.  As far as marijuana smoking and cancer treatment, it is the THC that helps the cancer patient counteract the Chemotherapy side effects especially the upset stomach side effect.  Adjusting the Nitrogen level adjusts the 'high' laughing factor.  Adjusting the THC level adjusts the munchie level.  Thus the current lie that higher THC creates a better 'buzz'.  No, in actuality, the higher THC level has created some children that have an uncontrollable urge to eat and will literally try to eat themselves.  Not a good thing.  And for those who thought that these 'smartest' / 'wealthiest' scientists were honest, they aren't.  I'm 'smarter' not 'smartest' and hopefully it shows now.  Thank you for the sidetrack, now back to our regularly scheduled program...

And what of all this talk of global warming?

Well, the facts are the facts so let's look at those shall we?

First, there is an asteroid that comes near the Earth every 1,024 years and alters the magnetic pole position of the Earth (roughly 11.74 degrees this last passing in 1998).  With the gravitational pull of the Earth, the Moon, the Sun, etc., everything would become one big huge lump.  The repulsion of like magnetic poles (North / South) is what keeps the lump from occuring.  The magnetic repulsion from the Sun to the Earth is what keeps the Earth from crashing into the Sun through counteracting the gravitational pull between the Earth and the Sun.  Around September 23/24, 1998 was the last occurance of this asteroid.  We know that during a time period of roughly 20 years previous and roughly 40 years afterwards that our planet goes through some odd weather patterns.  From 71 BC to 11 BC, 954 AD to 1014 AD, and from 1978 AD to 2038 AD (our current time).  During this 60 year span, the Earth readjusts to the new magnetic pole position hence the odd weather patterns as to be expected.  During these same time periods we also have an increase of 'doom and gloom' supposed soothsayers that have selfish reasons for these soothsayings (note, there's a reason that sooth is not truth).  Also, the Sun does not directly heat the Earth.  We know this from the fact that we have been in space and the temperature outside the Earth's atmosphere is roughly -30 degrees centegrade.  It is the interaction of the Earth's atmosphere with the particles from the Sun and the angles thereof in combination of geothermal activity (heat from inside the Earth given by the Earth's molten core as evidenced by volcanoes and such) that creates or doesn't create heat (warmth).  The ecosystem.  And let's talk seriously about this ecosystem now.  Humans and animals breathe in oxygen, nitrogen, and such and expel carbon dioxide.  Plants (trees included) breathe in carbon dioxide and give off oxygen.  A nice balancing act between the two life forms.  Fish are fishy and use the oxygen from water.  But also, have you ever seen a fish get out of the water to go to the bathroom?  Me neither.  So something fishy there, but I digress (as usual).  The balancing act between animals and plants is still balancing otherwise animals and plants would start suffocating, correct?  An overabundance of carbon dioxide would cause animals to die off and suffocate whereas an overabundance of oxygen would cause plants to die off.  Neither is happening at present time.  So why all this talk of environment and 'global warming' and such?  Well, truthfully,  money and trying to get rich quick is why.  Think about this.  Gasoline uses carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen in a complex molecular structure.  In perfect combustion (which DOES NOT HAPPEN, honest) gasoline would break down into water and carbon dioxide.  Perfect plant food.  Not so perfect animal food (but water is water).  Solar energy, on the other hand, is actually a very nasty proposition.  Point being, the energy is stored in 'solar collectors', which is just a fancy diversion from the truth that they are just glorified batteries is all.  And if you think that lithium, lead, sulfur, and such are NOT toxic substances then may I suggest you try ingesting some to see for yourself (please do NOT do this, you will DIE, but if you insist then I have nothing wrong with decreasing the surplus population of idiots out there.  Try with gasoline too if you must).  Smokescreen extreme.  NO SUBSTANCE CONTAINED IN ANY BATTERY IS KNOWN TO BE GOOD TO THE ENVIRONMENT!!!  Point blank.  ALL BATTERIES CHEMICALLY BREAK DOWN AND BECOME USED UP, THUS BECOMING BIOHAZARDS!!!  Point blank2.  The current weather trends are from the Earth's magnetic pole shift.  If it was atmospheric (coal combustion, overpopulation, etc.) then the effects would be noted in plants and/or animals accordingly.  As noted from the past, the shift adjustment appears to be about 60 years in length.  2038.  Who'd have guessed?  The guy that said that the rings around Saturn weren't solid (since around 1974 before we found out the truth).  I have an idea for a system using magnetic repulsion as an engine but I have not yet developed a working version yet.  In the meantime, DON'T GIVE IN TO PANIC AND BS.  Please.  It is just a ploy to get rich quick from people that already have WAY too much money as it is.  But get smarter.  Please.  Ask them how long before the batteries need replacing and wait for a response.  Also ask how much it costs to replace a complete set of 'solar collectors' and about how long before the replacement will be needed.  Remember too, 'solar panels' are what convert the sunlight (if there is any), whilst 'solar collectors' is the term for the 'batteries' that store this conversion for later use.  Try not to let them confuse you.  They will try, but try harder, OK.  Yes, you will have to bluntly ask "What about the batteries needing replacing?" and wade through even more runaround.  Yes, it is designed to be an even MORE expensive alternative for some strange reason.  But after you convert to solar, what choices do you have left?  Even worst, what if you live in an area with little sunlight or sunlight only six months out of the year?  Just sayin'.  They won't, so I did.  Just sayin'2.  Ozone?  OK, since ozone supposedly exists around all living things, then I propose this 'ozone person' coat himself in layers of ozone and stay underwater for at least ten minutes.  Don't worry, the ozone replenishes itself so he'll be fine and protected and we'll definitely make sure that no greenhouse gases are in the water (liquid) before dunking. 
Or better yet, if this ozone person would finally admit that ozone, as he has defined, just does not exist outside his own imagination (fat chance but worth a try).  Hogwash.  Phoney Baloney.  Note, living organisms (as discussed on the Meaning of Life Page) do actually have an aura around them of 'sparks' but that's different.  These aura sparks are not visible to most, but do exist.  An aura may be seen and measured with proper equipment.  Same as there is a magnetic field (called the ionosphere) generated around the Earth through the magnetic poles and such.  But this ionic layer and the aura layer around living organisms is not in any way affected by greenhouse gases or such as it is electromagnetic and not affected by such things.  There is no ozone layer in existence nor ozone period.  Yes, a HUGE rift in the scientific community that still exists to this day apparently.  The true scientists who look for ways to be smarter and the others who look for ways to be the smartest wealthiest.  To each their own.  I know where I stand and I never bought battery or solar company stocks so I'm not worried about being honest.  And you? 

And note also, this information is coming from "off the top of my head" in observations I have made or events that I have been a part of.  An attempt has been made to adhere to scientific namings and such for these observations.  I did not think of all of the namings of this stuff on my own.  As such, feel free to read as you wish.  The scientific community is made of many different individuals and as such, many times it becomes difficult to identify who came up with what and who actually did or thought of whatever first (especially ancient Greeks, Romans, etc.).  I feel most of this stuff presented should be common knowledge.  My source is life itself.  My knowledge.  And how can one expect to get smarter if one does not share their knowledge with others?  But also credit should be given where credit is due.  So many different writings and so many different sources on encounters in a lifetime of 52+ years.  My thoughts and experiences are truly my own as well as yours are yours.  But credit to whom or who can be difficult in an undertaking such as this.  So thanks to the science of everything for contributing to this page.  And thanks from me, Na'ar (Kiddo, Youth) to Shaddai (Almighty, God) for all these processes and such that giveth and taketh away our thoughts.  And to end on a footnote.1

1 My thoughts exactly.  All this typing just to say "global warming is a smokescreen and a bunch of BS".  Such is the sad state of affairs of the scientific community anymore.  So be it.  I came.  I saw and heard.  Then, finally, I typed.

Thee Ace Man’s Corner Nook in the Book

You’re the Only You You Got

I look across the countryside.
I look around both far and wide.
I look to see but I can’t hide.
You’re the only you you got.
I see the people near and far.
I see you all and where you are.
I see you in your shiny car.
You’re the only you you got.
I find you walking down the street.
I find you talking to those you meet.
I find you thinking from head to feet.
You’re the only you you got.
And then I wonder and think out loud.
And then I stand there brave and proud.
Am I the one that stands out in the crowd?
For I’m the only me you got!


     How about some more stories and such?  OK.  First, I wrote the second and third chapters of this book first.  After writing those chapters and some outlines of the rest, I gave it to a friend, Kathryn, and I realized there was a lot missing.  Originally, the second chapter was “Part One” and the third chapter “Part Two”.  After writing these two chapters, I realized that I would need to write “My Life Story” to give the background for where the information, found in later chapters, was coming from hence Chapter One - Prelogue.  Why Prelogue?  Something different to stand out and it is before (pre) everything else.  The Now Syndrome stuff was the true first written but the last part added to the book and was an afterthought.  I included it just because.  Maybe “Now Syndrome” stresses my point of “instead of saying – stop it – or – change – just come up with excuses” about psychiatry and psychology but maybe it doesn’t.  But I feel this whole book deals with abuse in some way, shape, or form, so I included the “Now Syndrome” stuff at the very last minute.  And after talking to someone, who was engaged to a married guy, I had to add in the “fish tale” at the beginning, which IS the last thing added to this book.  And where did “bass ackwards” come from anyway?  Well, saying stuff ass backwards becomes bass ackwards after a while, doesn’t it?  But yeah, since fish swim upstream because there’s nothing better to do, that’s bass ackwards.  It’s not something ass backwards done ass backwards becoming bass ackwards.  Or is it?  But how can one person get to be so smart?  Flatulate?  Pass it on.

     I had thought about breaking up the first chapter into subchapters, but life just runs on and on so I just paragraphed it by years as I remembered it.  The first chapter is just the backdrop of the stories where everything else comes from in this book.

     Also, while writing the psychiatry and psychology chapter of this book, it was getting very long since I first started going about this chapter with the same mentality as a shrink then ‘debunking’ from there.  After talking for a bit with a coworker, Lori, in 2009, I rewrote the chapter to what it is now.  Much more to the point and less confusing this way but I did leave out the discussion on “The Seven Deadly Sins of Mentality” which I’ll list now… (1) Multiple Personality Disorder [Traumatic Disorder], (2) Hyperactivity Disorder [Adrenal Gland Disorder], (3) Spoiled Brat Syndrome [Get Away With Stuff by Misbehaving Disorder], (4) Brain Trauma Victim [Physical Damage to Brain Disorder includes Strokes and such], (5) Dementia [Mental Disorder], (6) Delusional [Mental Disorder], (7) Selfishness/ Unselfishness Disorder [Clincher on Mental Disorders including Delusional and Dementia and Spoiled Brat Syndrome].  This then led to the three “decision factors” of a person’s personality.  The three factors are:  Selfishness / Unselfishness, Honesty / Dishonesty, Caring / Uncaring.  These factors can change in a person at any time based on the situation.  People may care about one thing or person while not care about another.  People may be greedy over an object (selfish) while not wanting something else.  Depends on circumstances aka situation.  But as stated, everyone is different.  How well do you really know someone?  These three factors give a great indication as to how a person will act or react during a situation.  And to note, just because a person gets upset does NOT mean that they care, usually the opposite.  Selfishness is never caring.  Caring about just oneself is not caring, caring about others as well as yourself is caring.  Caring about only oneself is selfishness.  Jealousy is always selfishness, point blank.  And what about loyalty and all the other personality traits you can think of?  See a pattern here?  See how long this is getting…  Just a thought.  Diversion.  But instead of focusing on the negatives and ‘debunking’ that way, I shortened the chapter greatly by instead focusing on what could be done more properly instead of repeating what I felt was wrong in way too much detail.  Less diversional information and more to my point of “you can’t treat behavioral knowledge issues with medications.”  which goes more with my philosophy of “just because everyone else does something doesn’t mean I have to do it as well”.

      And graduationally (after finals comes graduation for most), the last part actually added to this book was the discussion on light / dark skin and radiant / dim spirits.  A thought had crossed my mind to include another section called “Question & Answer” where I write every age old question imaginable (like Question:  “Why are we here?”  Answer: “Because if we were there we would not be here.  It is what it is.”, and question:  “How did we get here?”  Answer:  “We are here not there but are we just figments of another being’s warped imagination?  Maybe we are figments of our own imagination?  We just are.  If we weren’t then we wouldn’t be, right?”, and so on…) but after starting it I realized that a question and answer section would end up being larger than the book itself I imagine.  Idea scrapped.  Think about how many questions have ever been asked?  Yes, too large indeed.  Hopefully I answered them anyway.  At least those that can be answered by myself.  Feel free to answer your own questions.  You probably already have anyway, right?  Wrong?  How should I know?

     I have been asked many times “How do you know so much?” which was why I wrote the first chapter as the background for the book.  I put as much stuff as I could remember and not to glorify myself or such, but to explain where the knowledge came from.  Most of the stories have no rhyme or reason, but like life itself, stuff just happens.  You don’t plan when you’re born or die, stuff just happens.  So why not have some fun?

     Why “The New Math” when it is primarily a book dealing with social issues?  Things add up eventually which is why “The New Math”.  Good ethics, bad ethics, good decisions, bad decisions.  It all adds up eventually.  But “place holder” math I don’t ever recall seeing anywhere, hence “new”.  A new way of looking at things as they add up.  “The New Math”.  

     Also, the actual people and places are revealed yet hidden.  By using only first names and such, positive identities remain hidden from others.  I feel everyone is important in some way and a list of everyone I’ve known would be very enormous.  Would be great to include everyone, but I don’t know everyone, do you?  But also, these “stories” need to have honesty.  Julie is dead and it would be impossible to get permission to use her full name and such.  Doing it this way, first names only and not revealing the exact locations, people are mentioned yet remain anonymous.  How many Tommys do you know anyway?  And also, some names may be nearly unique so [censored] works as well I guess to really hide some stuff.  But even better, because this is written and not ‘picture oriented’, feel free to use your imagination and adjust the names and places to those around you if you wish.  I know the actual people and places and such so my imagination in this is limited, but yours doesn’t have to be.  How would you react?  How about your parents?  Guardian?  How about your friends?  Big school, small school.  Big nose, little nose, medium nose.  But be forewarned, if something goes beyond the imagination, someone most likely aced something again.  This is the difference between a book and a movie.  A movie is a collection of images and sounds; a book is a collection of words.  Both have thought, but the thinking is different from actually seeing it to reading about it.  In real life, things do not always happen in a certain order unlike in a movie where things have to happen in a certain order and certain imaging.  Quite a feat to have a book that reads like a movie or more likely better than a movie.  Imagination is cool; life can be cool.  Why not combine the two and throw in some math to boot?  Math = cool?  Yikes.  Don’t let your imagination run too wild, but then again, why not?

      Also, to be more exacting, my legal first name is Adrian, but so is my father and grandfather.  Can get confusing hence the nicknames, Zeke, Bud, Ace.  Or Adrian, Adrian Junior, Adrian III.  So yes, most people know me as Ace and I either introduce myself as Ace or Adrian The Turd.  So if someone goes around saying just my name, Adrian, they are talking about my grandfather, hint, hint.  I use Ace or Adrian III not Adrian.  So if a bunch of people call up and make a complaint using just Adrian _______ it is not me doing it.  Adrian.  Which one?  Hence Bubby, Ace, Elmer Stickshift…  I have never been asked or such, but supposedly someone has called up Brandi’s work and used the name Adrian to make complaints with.  It honestly was not me.  That points to others.  But why not blame me for stuff that others are doing?  Better yet, don’t even tell me about it and just falsely accuse me of stuff going on that I don’t even know for sure is even happening.  But yup, I must have done whatever.  Ask my lawyer, Jim.  But who do you complain to?  And does anyone listen anyway?  And the State of New York hired the lawyer and the State of New York hired the prosecutor, so it is all my fault.

     But this leads to a very important point of mine that I haven’t stressed yet.  So why not stress it now.  The past already happened.  The present is now.  The future never comes.  What is done can not be undone.  Think before you do and ask before jumping to conclusions.  In other words, don’t do something to someone else that you wouldn’t like done to you.  But if you do come across others that intentionally hurt others or falsely accuse, just wipe the dust off your feet and head for a better place and leave the others behind.  That’s what they are anyways, a bunch of behinds.  You can either join them or walk away.  I withdraw.  Go play with yourselves and put it on the internet for all I care.  But remember, something done can not be undone.  That’s life.  Stuff happens.  

     Even more stories.  Hey, how about the story about a year or so ago where I asked my boss to have a night off of work so that I could see a friend get engaged to someone that was still married.  How often do you see something like that anyway?  For some strange reason the relationship didn’t work out and they broke up a while later.  Cool story huh.  You never know what may happen next in life.  

     Oo, another one from quite a while ago, late 80’s early 90’s.  I’ll add this in to chapter one later.  A guy I worked with at the grocery store, Jamie, was trying to go out with Vicky.  Vicky was not interested in Jamie for many reasons including that Jamie usually talked to Vicky’s dad instead of to Vicky.  Anyway, Vicky was friends with Joana and Joana asked if I would try to help Vicky out and talk to Jamie.  I tried talking to Jamie but he wouldn’t listen.  I wasn’t interested in Vicky or any of that but I could also see that Jamie was a very controlling person.  Jamie was trying to force Vicky to go out with him by being nice to Vicky’s dad while being a jerk to Vicky.  Yeah, I got upset and after realizing that Jamie wasn’t listening to me, I resorted to threats to Jamie to “leave Vicky alone, she doesn’t want you around.  Leave Vicky alone and stop trying to manipulate Vicky’s dad.” Or to that effect.  Next time is Jamie sitting with Mike and Mike’s brother, Steve, and Jamie and his buddies sitting outside the grocery store.  Comments made including my comment of, “I don’t care who you get, leave Vicky alone.  She doesn’t like you and doesn’t want you around.  I’ll kick all your asses.  Leave Vicky alone, alright?”  Later on Rosemary’s oldest daughter, Paula, was having problems with a girl named Sharon and Joana helped Paula out.  But about two years later, Rosemary and I were sitting at a local bar and we both noticed some lunatic coming near us.  The owner of the bar noticed as well.  Rosemary knew the owner of the bar for a long time but even so, the owner knew something was wrong.  Anyway, Rosemary and I were sitting and talking when some lunatic comes barging across the dance floor toward us.  Next comes the lunatic yelling, “you wanna start something now?  You wanna step outside?”  I didn’t say a word nor did Rosemary.  Then the lunatic flashes his cop badge to me and Rosemary while we just sat there.  Next, the owner comes over and proceeds to ban the lunatic from the bar.  The lunatic with the badge of course was Jamie, who most likely still holds a grudge against me.  Whatever.  It just isn’t right to expect someone to like you or want to be with you after you turn their father against them.  Yes, Jamie was badmouthing Vicky to her father and Vicky was pissed.  I can’t blame Vicky for that but I still do blame Jamie for what he did.  So I hold a grudge as well.  A lesson in honesty perhaps, but stuff happens.  A badge is just a badge, it is the person that makes the difference not any license, badge, or whatever.  Jamie behaved badly.  I behaved badly.  Wipe the dust.  And later Joana had a child and married my pain in the butt cousin, Alan.  Alan was a jerk (and probably still is).  I can still remember the time when Alan picked up a hammer and went to hit my sister with it.  I took the hammer away from Alan and started chasing Alan around with the hammer to “see how he liked it”.  Didn’t sink in.  Anyway, that happened when I was about 7 or 8 years old.  Enter the 1990s and Joana and Alan getting married.  Alan brought Joana to the family picnic and the whole family hated Alan because he was such a jerk and the family was tired of my great grandparents, Bill and Et, having broken bones from “falling in the shower”.  Excuses, excuses.  Anyway, Joana thought we were upset because Joana was black (african american, whatever).  The whole family pretty much told Joana that “You are more than welcome at the family picnics but please leave that piece of shit husband of yours at home because we can’t stand his ass!”  Not long after the picnic, Joana and Alan’s child had a broken arm and Joana knew the child did not fall in the shower.  Divorce later ensued between Joana and Alan.  (Her name is actually spelled Johna but sounds the same as Joana which people know how to spell and pronounce, not Jo Anna but Joana.  Together, cool).  That’s life.  Stuff happens.

     Speaking of which, what is it about “Jesus” (Jeshua) and the Son of Man?  A little explanation I feel is in order here.  Man is a proper name and not an abbreviation for mankind.  Man is a shortened nickname of Emanuel or “The Holy Spirit”.  “I must go so another will come.”  There is the one that created, the son of the one that created, and the grandson of the one that created.  They are NOT the same being but are individual from one another.  The Creator sits on the Throne of Judgment with his son, Emanuel (E Man), The Reaper of the Harvest (lives for 120 years and rules with a rod of iron aka not a staff that is curved but a rod that is straight and not shiny and glossy like gold or silver but earthly like iron), on the left side, and his grandson, Jeshua, The Sower of Seeds, on the right as they had appeared before Abraham and all that.  Get it yet?  Instead of jumping to conclusions, I asked.  I found out.  Jeshua (Jesus) never can inherit the kingdom as it was created by the ever living grandfather of his.  How can you inherit something from one that never dies?  You can’t.  I can’t either.  You can share though.  Can’t you?  But why share and since you create all shouldn’t it be all yours and all your fault or all your glory or both?  How much is there to know anyway?  How much do we really know?  How much is yet to be learned?  So much remembered, so much forgotten, so much unknown.  Leftovers, the dinner of champions.  Oops.  Mistakes get made but penance and repent.  And what does sacrificing a turtle have to do with being forgiven for committing adultery against someone?  Go ahead ask, go ahead tell.  Forgiveness?  Mercy?  Since when.  We are what we are.  We is what we is.  Redundancy.  Hypocrisy.  Yup.  And really, actually, the Son of Man is a reference to the First Book of Enoch and the Second Parable contained therein, but how is one to know this?  Read?  Heaven forbade, forbid and will forbode..

     And what about all this Jesus, Muhammad, God, and such that preachers, priests, rabbis, and the like like to throw out at people.  Last I knew people can speak for themselves including the one that stretched the heavens and Jesus and Muhammad and such.  What do you have to say?  Let’s hear it.  On second thought let’s not.  I’m The Ace Man and I am what I am.  If I feel the need to drop a name to justify myself, what is wrong with using my own name?  What is wrong with using your own name?  Darned if I know.  Aren’t I important too?  And what about yourself?  Darned if I know.  Anyone aced things lately?  Have you tommyed anything lately?  But when someone does well on a test why do I have to get my name dragged into it all the time?  Just as when someone does something thought impossible, my name gets dragged in some more.  Vanity.  Fame?  Who we are is who we are whether we wish to accept it or not?  Is it up to us to decide anyway?  Why does it always have to fall on my shoulders?  Can’t others ace things as well?  Am I really that smart or just a smart aleck or both possibly?  Neither?  Geez, thanks a lot.  Just asking.  Just a thought.  World peace.  Carry on…

     This book started out differently than what it ended up being.  As I wrote more about myself, I discovered more about others and myself as well.  How are ya doin’?  As you can tell by my life story, I’m not a very serious person.  I try to joke about things as often as possible but some things just aren’t funny.  That’s that.  Most things are funny though like the one about some poor working stiff inventing the new math on his lunch break.  I work nights mostly and my coworker, Glenn, was there on my dinner break while I was working out the mathematics to this book.  Another story “left out”.  In the late 1990’s there was a person that would sit outside a grocery store with a “will work for food” sign in our area.  This person, however, would put his sign in people’s windows and obstruct their view while driving.  I explained to this person, “I don’t mind you begging but please keep that sign away so that people can see.”  And of course one day, after being told not to and why, this guy was on the corner and a lady and her three year old son were crossing the street.  A guy was coming out of the parking lot of the store in a big maroonish red car and was unable to see what was going on on the passenger side of his car.  I stuck my leg and arm out in front of the upset driver’s vehicle to keep him from moving.  What the driver and the guy holding the sign did not see was the three year old going back into the road to pick up something he had dropped.  Had I not put my arm and leg out and such, the driver would have hit the kid.  I WAS PISSED!  From then on, whenever the guy with the sign was on that corner, I chased him away.  Even after that, and being told, the guy with the sign still put his sign in people’s windows and blocked people’s views.  A letter I wrote was published in the local paper and after that the guy with the sign was told by the police and others not to obstruct people’s views.  This guy also said he was unable to work because of a bad back, but “will work for food”?  Whatever.  Stuff happens.  Hypocrisy happened.

     More info…  Anyone figure out weight loss and diet and all that?  Pretty easy really.  If you eat ten pounds, you gain ten pounds.  If you poop or pee ten pounds, you lose ten pounds.  And a pound of feathers weighs as much as a pound of gold.  That is weight.  Nutrition is about how your body deals with what you eat.  Body shape is about how your body looks.  I may be fat, but you’re ugly; I can lose weight.  Whatever.  Everyone is different.  Some poop more than others.  Balance is the key.  Everyone seems to have a great personality when they want something from someone but after they get it…  Most people don’t realize what dating and such is supposed to be about.  Getting to know someone.  That’s it.  You don’t know someone just by having sex.  Why do so many couples fall apart in the USA anyway?  You know someone too well and don’t like the way they act after they get what they want or try to get away with something.  Yes, how would you feel if someone did that back to you?  Don’t do it though, just say then get away.  If you do it back, you are just as bad as them and it always goes downhill after that.  Dignity?  Dignity.

     What type of example are you setting for others, but then again what example am I setting?  Is it realistic (based in reality) or idealistic (based in thoughts but not really achievable) or both idealistic and realistic (is that possible?)?  Just when you think you know it all…  United we stand out.  Divided we stand out.  Names were not changed to protect the guilty, innocent, or other.  What’s in a name anyway?  What you make of it, honestly.  So why change?  A name is just a name until someone makes something of it – good, bad, or indifferent.  What does your name say about you?  Nothing really.  Something really.  Who knows?

     Sometimes you choose to do things and sometimes you are chosen.  Did something just happen?  Did I just miss something?  How should I know?  How do you know?  Beats me.  But I made you look didn’t I?  Motivational thinking.  Quick, look under there…  No, no, under there.  Did you find your underwear or weren’t you wearing any?  Just asking.  Don’t tell, just ask.  OK, so the dog farted again, now what?  World peace.  What dog?

     You always know what to expect from honest people, the truth.  A dishonest person you never know what to expect except that you will never get the truth.  To each their own.  Some people enjoy solving puzzles, others do not.  You get what you get.  What have you got?  What are you really looking for?  Do you like puzzles or do you prefer honesty and openness?  How should I know.  Deny everything.  Accept everything.  Pick your nose.  Pick and choose.  Choose right.  Choose wrong.  Chews gum (how did that get in there).  Always choose.  Never choose.  Decisions, decisions.  Undecided.  That’s life.  Who knows for sure?  You got what you got.

     There is always an easy answer but bad people want others to think the questions are too difficult for an answer when in reality the questions and answers are not that difficult.  Are you doing something now to someone else that you wouldn’t like done to yourself?  Why?  Because you feel you can get away with it.  Admit it for once.  Your conscience knows as do you.  You get away with NOTHING.  Are you doing something with someone else that you both enjoy that isn’t TRULY bothering or hurting others?  Why?  Why not?  Think about it.  When people have fun, others that are not having fun get upset at the ones having fun.  Why?  Jealousy.  When you don’t care about others why should anyone care about you?  What is caring?  Does someone that does things to others that they wouldn’t like done to them care?  Get it yet?  I do.  Hopefully you get it now as well.  

     OK, what about prophecy?  In 2001 I went on the internet and informed people of the link between Revelations and the World Trade Center – “Two witnesses dressed in sackcloth”.  It happened.  Also, Michel and Musab died June 6, 2006 aka 6-6-6 not June 7 as some have tried to say.  Napoleon aka Naples Roi (guillotine), Adolf aka Hister (gas chamber), Musab aka Maabus (ritual beheading).  The three “butcher” antichrists.   It happened.  Edgar and his prophesies of a person with a unique tooth leading a world towards peace and understanding while also discovering a new type of mathematics – you are reading it right now.  For the future, the religions failing and governments going by the wayside and a ‘new world order’ coming into place – you are reading the start of that now as well but the finish is left up to another named ‘Emperor Emanuel’ who will lead the world out of its ‘darkness’ and towards the light.  Emperor Emanuel of course is the actual Holy Spirit mentioned in the Bible.  I am just the ‘last of the great prophets’ and not Emperor Emanuel, the Holy Spirit, that I know of.  I am also not sure but I may be the one throughout eternity that has been the keeper of “The Book of Life" mentioned as well.  Maybe so, maybe not, I don’t truly know and the one to ask has not been around me for 30+ years.  What is to be will be.  What is to happen happens.  One thousand years of peace, then what?  Another spends a short time to rekindle hatred after the thousand years but is cast out.  So evolution / creation?  Pretty obvious and look around.  Life begins with creation then evolves afterwards.  One has to create first for evolution to take place.  Are you evolving yet?  Still the same?  Getting worse?  Getting better?  None of the above?  Don’t know?  Good for you.  Ask questions and if it is to be known then you will know but if it is not to be known ask anyway.  You never know until you ask but there may not be a ‘true’ answer yet so you may need to think about the question you are asking again and rethink about what you are truly saying and truly asking.  Pretty obvious who the false prophets have been.  Pretty obvious who the actual prophets are as well.  Noah, Abraham, Moses, John, Jeshua, Muhammad, Michel, Edgar, Thee Ace Man?  Chosen, not by choice.  Who chose?  Who created?  Stuff happens.  What does the future hold in store for us?  Next…

      As far as the Muslim belief of 40 virgins and such…  As far as the Christian belief in virginity being pure and all that…  My synopsis.  A virgin can’t have kids without some miracle happening so what good is being a virgin?  What does a virgin do when horny?  I’m gonna ask damn it.  And the answer is “suffer”.  What a crock all the way around.  Gimme a whore any day over a virgin.  Why?  Honesty.  Where does it ever say a whore can not enter into Heaven.  It doesn’t.  Where does it say a virgin can’t be sent to Hell.  It doesn’t.  There you have it.  But better yet, sex is “pleasures of the flesh” but where has it ever said sex is a “pleasure of the spirit”?  It doesn’t.  If you draw stupid conclusions from Christians and Muslims then I guess all we do after we die is have sex for eternity while being celibate.  Anyone ever prayed for a horny angel?  Why not? Because it’s stupid is why not.  Pray for a horny demon, possibly.  But you never know because every 25th of December in the USA you see piles of angels with pine trees shoved up their butts, don’t you?   Others know about sex but you are wiser because you don’t know?  Horseradish.  In The Holy Bible, Aaron was first priest of Israel with a wife and kids so think about it will ya?  How is being celibate going to help a bunch of horny sex fiends?  Get laid will ya but try to pick someone that ain’t a total dumb ass because if a kid pops out then we definitely have too many dumb asses around already as it is, don’t we?  Are you a smart ass or a dumb ass anyway?  Someone’s gotta ask.  May as well be some silly book, right?  Books talk?  Since when?  ANSWER ME!!!  Sure be a “middle ass” or “just a plain ass” or a “pain in the ass” or possibly a “jack ass” or even “just a piece of ass” or maybe even a “horse’s ass” then and see if I care… (Smart aleck trying to finally ‘ace’ something are we?  What ‘extra credit’ answer?).  Muslims, Christians, and Jews have made up stuff to answer questions rather than ask the one who knows and wait for a response back FROM the one who knows.  Anyone can answer but is the answer THE ANSWER?  If you don’t know what is wrong with saying “I don’t know”?  So many stories but the truth is…  Cool, a fill in the blank test, the truth is ___________.  (How did you really score on this test?  Did you ask the one that knows all and wait for a response or just fill in the blank yourself?  No cheating!!!  You can believe what you want, but the truth is always THE TRUTH.)  Facts always add up.  Subtraction?  Math?  It figures.  (Didn’t we already discuss diet, weight loss, and nutrition?  More figures?  Stick figures.  Balloon figures.  Math?  It figures…)

     Another thing I forgot to add into the Addendum in the book.  I did not know how best to put this so I left it until later but then published the book before remembering to add this in.  Anyway, the one who rekindles hatred after the thousand years of peace is the one who comes and performs “great miracles” and starts asking people to worship him and give themselves to this “Great One”.  This individual is very cunning but people catch on to this “Great One”.  How do they catch on?  Think about it.  The one that created the world we live in, while we are in the flesh, has done many great things but has never asked for anything in return.  This “Great One” emphasizes how great he is and that he, The Great One, should own all and be supreme ruler over all in the flesh.  Many people fall for this (as they do in the current times) but many start catching on as this person relishes POWER.  Read the riddle of strength and power again from the book.  This person will reward those that worship him while trying to punish those that stand against him.  Clones arise of this “Great One” to ensure that others follow the rekindler of hatred.  Enslavement returns after the thousand years of peace for who is likely to stand against such armies?  Either worship this person or suffer.  This is how “The Brave Ones” catch on and do destroy this rekindler of hatred but only after much damage is done to those in the flesh.  After the thousand years, there are those that stand with the “rekindler of hatred” and a few that stand against.  Who would wish to stand against someone that can heal the sick and raise the dead and such.  Smart people are who.  This rekindler is not what he seems.  This person is out to enslave the world for his own bidding and have those of the flesh worship him and all his “greatness”.  After a thousand years, the gate across Hell, The Abyss, is opened and the “Great One”, the rekindler of hatred, is let loose for a short time upon the Earth.  And the last shall be first and the first shall be last. The alpha and the omega.  Can history be changed before it happens or are people bound to suffer a thousand years hence?  Time will tell.  Faith?  Belief?  Or fate?  It was what it was.  It is what it is.  It will be what it will be.  Past.  Present.  Future.  History.  My story.  Your story.  Our story.  Their story.  What story?  The truth, was, is, and always will be THE TRUTH.

     And what about the riddle of “Strength and Power”?  Do you feel you are strong enough or powerful enough to tackle this one?  Wanna try?  OK.  Power is fleeting; strength is eternal.  This is the answer but why?  Power is individual.  Strength is together.  A strong person can endure anything while a powerful person feels they can never fail.  A powerful person is doomed to failure; a strong person endures.  Which are you a “punk” or a “tough guy”?  A tough guy can take it and doesn’t have to dish it out.  A punk tries to dish it out but can’t take it.  Do you feel you are strong or powerful or both?  You can’t be both.  That’s that.  Which path do you feel you are truly on?  You can change paths you know.  Are you still on a collision course or do you take things as they come along?  Are you powerful or stronger than that?  You decide.  Decisions, decisions, skull aches because it takes brains to have a headache.

     I used Hell for The Abyss because of the common usage in the USAn language.  The same place just a different name.  Also, the kingdom of Hell is currently located behind the Throne of Judgment but will be moved at a later time and a gate placed over the opening that will not be opened for a thousand years.  You can do whatever you want in Hell so have fun because others can do whatever they want there as well.  If you get caught doing something wrong how do you punish someone sentenced to eternal damnation anyway?  Just a thought.  Same as how do you reward someone sentenced to eternal bliss.  Purgatory, the spiritual place that is just outside Heaven where decisions are made one way or another.  Reincarnation?  Some spirits may be sentenced to return to flesh again.  Are you the one that decides?  Are you the one that created and made the rules for creation?  Am I the one?  (No).  Ask.  THINKE.  Doors opened.  Doors closed.  Just another thought.  Think away.  I have.  Are you?  Aren’t you?  Hey you?  Hay is for horses so keep eating.  Food for thought.

     And yes there is a lady in the area that calls police complaining about “possible” rabid squirrels.  Drugging idiots doesn’t solve problems and is a waste of taxpayer dollars.  If I were a squirrel I’d be pissed off if a lady called the cops trying to say I was rabid.  Wouldn’t you be pissed off too?  Just out havin’ a good time goin’ nuts and not really botherin’ no one and some whacko calling the cops on me.  It takes all kinds I guess.  But why do they wanna live in the USA?  Does that make sense?  It’s not my fault…  What excuses?

     And what about good – better – best?  OK.  Good, you do just good enough to get by hopefully.  Best, what room for improvement?  Better meaning “I know I did well this time but what might I possibly be able to do next time to make things better”.  Which are you?  Do you just get by, think you can always do it all (regardless of what others say / know), or look for possible ways to improve?  How should I know?  Just askin’.

     OK how about some travel tips?  Good idea.  As far as air travel think about these.  A plane can only fly with so much weight in it.  Too heavy can’t get off the ground.  So why didn’t your heavy, bulky luggage make it to your destination with you this time?  You asked.  What your travel agent made sure that you didn’t have at least an hour (two or more for customs) layover between flight connections?  Sure, you just made the connection but your luggage didn’t.  You planned on a miracle and it didn’t happen?  Oh well.  Stuff happens I guess.  And gee, you just changed your flight plans at the last minute and your luggage and the airline weren’t able to read your mind ahead of time.  Oh well again.  Why don’t you have a small knapsack or such to carry all your important medications and valuables and such with you?  It’s always the airport’s fault anyway so what are you gonna do?  Plan ahead?  Come on now this is the USA and everyone else is supposed to think for you aren’t they?  Stuff happens.  Be prepared.  Think ahead.  Just in case.  You never know.  Are you crazy?

     And what about the USA’s public racetracks?  Have you ever heard someone in the USA say, “I’m a bad driver”?  Me neither despite the atrocious driving habits I see every day on public roads.  Driving tips?  OK.  The three “knows”.  Know where you are.  Know where you are going.  And most important, know what is going on around you.  Are cars alongside of you, in front of you, behind you?  All of the above?  Safe distances.  Safety.  Planning ahead just in case.  Yes, public roads are NOT racetracks.  Public roads allow different people to get from place to place TOGETHER.  Problems happen on roads when drivers think only of themselves and not others.  What rules?  Invasion of publicity?  How is your driving really?  Think about good, better, and best again.  See how that works?  Are you a good driver, better driver, or the best driver?  Think again.  Be honest.  I hope you can do better but have to wait and see.  I’m still waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting  Did you know that the tractor trailer or school bus that you just swerved in front of can NOT stop on a dime?  What do you care?  And what about that deer alongside of the road?  See.  Be seen.  Be safe.  Bee sting.  Choose.  Be chosen.  It happens or it doesn’t.  Public roads are still not racetracks.  Oops.  Oh well.  Accidents happen.  Why not?  Because.  Sharing.  Caring.  Misplaced earring.  Should have pulled over but too late now.  It just couldn’t wait.  Patients no more.  Corpus delectable.  Worm food.  Yum.  Kill or be killed.  Live.  Let live.  Speak for yourself if you can.  What next?  Paying attention or paying with your life.  Put that book down.  Honk!  Honk!  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.

     You come into this world with yourself and you leave this world with yourself.  You only have your thoughts (conscience) and your actions (deeds) to take with you before, after, and while being in the middle.  Are you living the good life, the bad life or somewhere in the middle?  Everyone’s perfekt but only one is perfect.  I am not that one nor do I think I am him.  I have a name.  How about you?  How about those around you?  What change?  I am always me regardless.  Others are always themselves.  You can’t be me and I can’t be you but it can be nice to pretend and see yourself through others’ eyes and thoughts sometimes?  Can’t it?  Why not try?  Come on, you can do it, I know you can, try.  Such stories…

     Racism?  Spiritualism.  Who really cares?  But what have you really done?  Who are you really?  Do people not understand you because of skin color or because you aren’t making much sense?  Think about it.  Think again.  Comfort zone.  Are you comfortable being a person of any skin color or just one color?  Green, orange, purple, alienated?  Intelligence.  Ignorance.  Are you comfortable being you?  Are others comfortable being around you?  Why not?  Why?  Preference.  Indifference.  Choices to make.  Universality.  Adaptability.  Are you comfortable being you or do you need to belong to a group of snobs or both?  So when anyone aces something they are doing it because of their half breed savage blood right?  Intelligence?  What have YOU really done?  What are YOU able to do?  Why?  Because.  What might you be missing out on?  You don’t know?  You know?  Who knows?  Know what?  Me neither but something to think about isn’t it?  Racism or stereotyping or all of the above.  But isn’t everyone different?  Yes!  So don’t sweat it too much OK.  You are who you are and can change or stay the same.  By choice.  The skin color you are born with is not your choice, just the way it is.  So why can’t someone other than a half breed savage ace things?  Don’t they already ace things regardless of ethnicity anyway?  Cool, right, left, middle, universal?  How adaptable are you anyway?  Does it matter?  Antimatter?  THINKE – Take Heart In Not Knowing Everything.  I’m perfekt, not perfect.  It happens.  It doesn’t happen.  Decisions, decisions, undecided, decided, derided.  Stuff happens but how you deal with it determines character.  Aren’t there enough characters in the USA anyway?  Do we really need any more?  Yes!  No!  Both!  Together!  Apart!  Choices to make.  Make up.  Make out.  Make me.  Make believe.  Make sense?  We are all different and not the same.  Big deal, little deal, medium deal.  No deal.  Deal.  Bottom of the deck, top of the deck, somewhere in the middle?  Out of 52 cards only one can be at the top and only one at the bottom but how many cards inbetween?  50?  That’s old but you’re as old as you feel really.  Over the hill.  Under the hill.  Mountains to climb.  Tamed.  Untamed.  Known.  What’s unknown?  You don’t know?  Why?  Why not?  Be cousin.  Bee sting.  Buzz cut.  I be me.  You be you.  We be us.  Fate?  It was what it was.  It is what it is.  It will be what it will be.  Faith?  Fate!

     Abortion, tough issue?  Not hardly.  Miscarriage of injustice?  Should a pregnancy be terminated?  Who are we to decide someone else’s fate?  Who are we to judge others?  Who are others to judge we?  Opinions or facts?  We are who we are.  Others are who others are.  We are not others and others are not we.  Who made you judge and jury?  Not I.  If a woman is pregnant and would die if the fetus was not taken away, is it not murder as well to not allow the woman to live, but instead allow both to die?  No, it is not murder either way.  Abortion was, is, and never will be murder.  Of the flesh.  Miscarriage.  Nature.  Humanity.  Flesh is flesh.  Spirit is spirit.  Food for the soul.  Starvation for the soul.  Or just food for thought.  What is done can not be undone whether by human hands or by nature.  A miscarriage is by nature whilst an abortion is by human hands.  Death of flesh.  Life.  The Book Of Life.  What is to be will be.  Dependents.  Independence.  Is it truly up to us to decide for others right or wrong?  No.  It is up to others to decide for themselves and us to decide for ourselves.  We are not others and others are not we.  When is it wrong to take a life?  When is it right to take a life?  Is it wrong to take a life?  Is it right to take a life?  Is it?  It is what it is.  It is not a choice for everyone but only a choice for those it involves.  When is it right to take a life?  When is it wrong to take a life?  The Book Of Life knows.  When life ends, the spirit leaves, and when the spirit leaves, The Book Of Life knows.  Is life just a doorstop possibly?  Do you truly know or do wish people think you know?  Misunderstood?  Missing?  Family?  Sometimes by nature, other times by humanity.  But does a fetus have spirit?  Are we the ones that created?  Are we the ones to decide?  Who asked you anyway?  In the flesh, yes, we are the ones that decide of the flesh.  In the middle, of the flesh, we.  You and I.  To each, our own.  To us, our own.  To them, their own.  To me, my own.  Flesh is not spirit.  Spirit is not flesh.  We are still of the flesh, until our spirit leaves.  Our spirit.  Your spirit.  My spirit.  You.  I.  Life.  Death.  You.  I.  Us?  Maybe?  Maybe not?

     Paid.  Rewarded.  Eternity.  Now.  Who cares?  Do you?  I do?  Since when?  Nothing matters anyway or does it?  What about me?  What about you?  What about?  Huh?  What?  Too shallow?  Too deep?  To you.  Deadicated.  Livicated.  Medicated?  Celebrated?  Edumacated.  To you.  It’s up to us, me and you.  Them and us.  Heaven or Hell?  Increment.  Excrement.  We(e).  You’re in.  Golden shower.  Piss on it?

     I know you are feeling overworked and overwhelmed so please feel free to take a seat and relax and collect your thoughts and I will try to find some time to help you deal with your problem.  In the meantime, if you do find something to do, please feel free to do so.  My time is limited as is yours but I will try to find the time to discuss this stressful matter with you.  But in consideration, tough shit; I’m busy if you haven’t noticed.  Someone has got to get the work done while you’re sitting around on your fat, lazy, whining, unionized ass taking it easy.  And sorry, I do not wish to have the time to sit around and bitch about how busy I am.  I have too much to do and too many deadlines to have the time for that kind of bullshit.  Thank you for your patience in this matter.  Have a happy : )  , sincerely, The Office Staff.

     Creating problems.  Solving problems.  Which are you truly good at?  Things are the way they are.  Things happen the way they happen.  Only mathematics equates to solving problems?  Since when?  What ever happened to common sense and honesty?

      And really, wouldn’t it be nice if we could lock away, in one giant room, all the people that like to use weapons to hurt one another so that they can sort out their differences together and leave the rest of us alone?  Worth a thought anyway.  They can even bring their weapons with them, if they like, for protection.

     So, how about a ‘real’ story?  OK, there were people all over the world chanting and praising my name “Thee Ace Man” for all the greatness that I had done, then I awoke.  And then I dreamt that I was sleeping before I was awakened.  Neither are true but if it makes a good story why not?  But truthfully you know things are messed up when people ask “Who’s the most famous person you know?” and your honest answer is yourself.  Maybe not messed up?  Who knows?  What stories?  What book?  Why?  Why not?  Because.  Because what?  Because why?  Just because.  Something done.  Something to do.  Something yet to be done.  Stuff happens.  You know.  THINKE.

     And what about life on other planets?  Extra-terrestrial Intelligence?  Intelligence would need to be extra-terrestrial because it sure has not existed on the planet Earth has it?  But with zillions of stars and other worlds out there surely life must exist elsewhere as well.  There may well be life in the rocks around us but we are not rocks so we do not realize it as life.  Existence.  Figments of the imagination or reality?  It was what it was.  It is what it is.  It will be what it will be.  Close your eyes and just imagine.  Now open your eyes again and see reality.  Are you blind?  Of course, we are all blind in an intellectual sense.  No one of the flesh knows everything.  But the truth is that we have now life in the flesh for what it is worth.  The choices are left up to those living in the flesh with or without one another.  So be it.  The truth was, is, and always will be the truth.  Instead of jumping to conclusions based on what you think now, why not wait until you know for sure later?  But why wait and instead why not just make stuff up in the meantime.  What confusion?  But anyway…  If you were on a deserted planet all by yourself, would you like someone with you or would you enjoy the quietness of solitude?  Be honest?  Be dishonest?  Be yourself?  Be someone else?  Just be.  Why.  Why not?  Are we alone in the universe?  Did the dinosaurs exit the planet for another planet building a huge spaceship and taking all the cool stuff with them when they left Earth?  Or did the dinosaurs just die off?  Were the dinosaurs killed off?  Why are we even here on planet Earth anyway?  THINKE.  Glad you asked, but until you know for sure just guess and THEN the answers will really surprise you.  I met the one that created all that we know of but unfortunately I did not ask for all the answers.  Maybe I’ll meet him again sometime and by that time hopefully I’ll have learned to keep my big mouth shut, and you?

     And while on the 'dinosaur' subject, really, seriously?  The answers do not seem to be that difficult until you try to avoid hurting other people's feelings.  In all honesty, we know the answer but keep trying to look passed the facts.  The facts are that there are large strata (divisions of soil) in the earth's crust.  We also know from our own observations of modern times that floods and volcanic activity do deposit HUGE amounts of soil in a short period of time.  We are told stories of a Great Flood in human time and how a person, Noah /
Utnapishtim, was asked to build a boat and put his family and a bunch of animals on this boat and...  Now seriously, only ONE flood in the earth's existence?  Not hardly.  And we see these strata in the rocks and large layers to boot.  So this 'millions of years' theory is very implausible honestly.  We know for a fact that large floods deposit a large amount of material all at once.  The larger the flood / volcano and such, the larger the deposit.  Could the Earth have been completely flooded out several times and not just once?  The evidence supports this hypothesis whole-heartedly, but oddly scientists keep going back to old, outdated, imperialist dogma that really is just nonsense to try and avoid hurting people's feelings.  Hint, the person that came up with these screwy ideas is dead.  Evolution has long been disproven.  Not by religion, but by facts.  And the fact is that no apes are evolving into humans.  The neandertals (Cainites)  were around at the same time as humans (homo sapiens / sethites) and existed side by side until both died out and a smaller (homo sapiens sapiens / Noahites) group emerged.  We know that neither homo sapiens nor neandertals exist anymore.  At this same time it appears that wooly mammoths became elephants, sabre tooth tigers became tigers and so forth and so on.  It was adaption (adapting to a different environment) and not really evolution.  The old version dies off because the environment can not support the old version any more.  Just as well because floods, earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanoes happen too.  More death.  More destruction.  More adaptation.  Each develops separately and at its own pace.  Or not.  It is the way it is.  But the primordial goo theory has long since been disproven else all species would be able to interbreed with all species at any time.  We know that each species is individual from one another and came about separately.  Evolution.  Nice thought, but not plausible.  Whales and chickens.  Dogs and cats.  People and sheep.  Mice and elephants (now you know why elephants are afraid of mice).  Sharks and pigs.  Princesses and frogs.  Birds and bees and mosquitoes (you knew there had to be a threesome in here somewhere).  Some species more complex, others more basic.  Each according to their own.  And what about trees and ostriches?  Facts not fiction.  Dinosaurs did not evolve into reptiles.  Goats are not evolving into cows, and on and on...  Long dead.  There does appear to be a plan underneath all this (plants, animals, fish, insects, etc.), not just a random "let's make a widget for the fun of it" type structure which would preclude a randomness needed for the process of evolution to ensue.  We have male, female, hermaphrodite, and eunich.  If we were evolving, we would all become hermaphrodite so we could screw ourselves and be done with it, right?  We're adapting because of the need to survive, not evolving because of the need to get screwed (by ourselves or others).  There are definitely outside influences at work here.  Move on.  We're still missing a LOT of knowledge to figure this one out, but we're still moving forward, which is a good thing.

     Speaking of big mouths…  OK, religion again.  Instead of killing one another or slavery and such, has anyone ever thought about honesty and working together?  Think about it.  To note, not one religion has ever been accurate.  The Jews didn’t listen (and still don’t) about the one that created everything having offspring.  The Jews are apparently still waiting for the Messiah that has already passed them by.  Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the one that created everything which also is untrue since Jesus Christ (Jeshua) is only the grandson of the one that created all.  And why are Christians waiting for Jesus’ return when the Holy Bible itself has told Christians that Jesus is not returning?  Resurrected, then must go so that another may come.  The son of the one that created, Emperor Emanuel, the Holy Spirit, is the one coming not Jesus / Jeshua.  Jesus even said himself that through his Father (Grandfather actually) all things are possible and he is right on that.  The Hebrews did not have a word for grandson and when Jesus referred to the Heavenly Father and such do you really think that Jesus was talking about himself?  Does not sound right, does it?  And what of “speaking in tongues”?  There are different languages and it was told many times over that The Holy Spirit (Emperor Emanuel) knows and speaks in all languages. Jesus himself talked about The Holy Spirit (Jesus’ father) speaking in different languages and sharing that gift as well with Jesus and his followers at one time.  Imagine a group of people talking to different language speaking people and understanding the other people while the other people understand you.  Not gibberish but “Speaking in tongues”.  And what of Judas and “the betrayal”?  “Father why have you forsaken me?”  Jesus forsook himself?  Crazy Christians.  And what of the Muslims and Jihad and all that?  A war of thought.  A war of words not swords.  Read the Torah.  Read the Holy Bible (both Old and New Testaments).  Read the Quran.  Do not read extra into these books and add nor take away, but read what is actually written.  Now think about what others have tried to add or take away from these books to try and glorify themselves as being knowledgeable.  Making stuff up and guessing is not knowledge.  Knowing the truth is knowledge.  So the Christians, Muslims, and Jews fight amongst themselves about who thinks they are right when neither side is right.  What a mess.  Thank Heaven that the Hindus and Buddhists did not get into this mess.  They have enough messes of their own don’t they?  What is one to do?  Be honest?  Sorry, I asked.  I found out.  One can not believe when one knows.  How about you?  How about those around you?  When did you realize that this was not really a “mystory” but actually an “ourstory” book?  The Torah, The Holy Bible (both Old and New Testaments), the Quran, The New Math.  It all adds up to what?  What we (you, I, and others) make of it.  Life.  Honestly.  Yes, we do too much talking and not enough listening don’t we?  And we also seem to listen to the wrong people many times.  Forgiven?  Forgiven.  Mercy.  Pleas.  Pleasant.  Unpleasant.  What next?  [Insert subliminal message here – Brain for rent.  Inquire within]…

     And although mentioned earlier, there are many times different answers to the same question.  Take for instance the biblical account of the history of man from Adam and Eve onward.  I mentioned earlier about a possible lunar calendar idea, but also it could be accurate as well.  Methuselah may have been 1179 years old.  Keep an open mind.  Not to disprove or prove but wait for an actual answer.  It could also be that the original descendants were Homo Sapiens and Neanderthal living together.  The Homo Sapiens from Seth and the Neanderthal from Cain.  The Creator knows for sure but it is much more knowledgeable to keep an open mind.  Theories are always just that, theories.  The truth was, is, and will always be the truth.  Keep an open mind.  And what about sasquatches?  Keep an open mind.  The Great Flood.  Keep an open mind.  And can electromagnetic thought exist without a 'flesh' body?  It sure can, so keep an open mind.

     And also, why “shrinks” for psychologists and psychiatrists in the book?  Well, they try to shrink the world as it is into what they feel the world should be (according to their own personal secret code whatever that may be at the time of their thinking) instead of expanding their minds to see the world as it really is.

     Which leads to this next story.  I had a guy that came to our counter at the airport and said that he needed to get a ride to meet his buddy over at a local store.  He named the store and I told him 12 bucks (a discount from the 14 that I charged others) and off we went.  While in the cab, this guy then changed his story to “I think my buddy is over at the other store”, which is about a twenty minute extra trip but “don’t worry”, as this guy says, “I got money to cover the ride”.  So I head over to the other store with this guy still in the van.  Then the story changes again to “Well, actually, I’m just trying to kill some time before the next flight comes in and my buddy’s on that flight.”  So, OK, we get over to the store and he says that he’ll be getting a ride from someone else later to get from the store to his job site and that he doesn’t need another ride to anywhere and then asks, “Well, can I get a discount.  I got twenty bucks.  How much is the ride anyway?”  And then this dumb ass says the unthinkable, “How do you feel about me anyway?”  So I proceeded to tell this rocket scientist that, “You are nothing but a waste of my time.  I’m glad you’re getting out and don’t worry I’ll pay for the ride just get the hell out.  Keep your twenty bucks.  Just get the hell out.”  And I handed him back his twenty bucks as he left the van.  It cost me about 50 bucks for this person’s ride out of my own pocket.  THEN this jackass has the nerve to show up at the airport later and try to tell people that I am a racist and that I left this guy at the store.  But then the person the guy said this to asked, “How much did you pay for the ride?” and the guy just gave this person a dirty look but couldn’t answer.  Question answered.  A-holes are a-holes.   And yes, when people change stories so much you can be rest assured they are not honest people regardless of skin color or any other reason for that matter.  And yes, excuses are just that, excuses.  And rumors are just that, rumors.  Ask questions and you’ll get answers one way or another depending on the person you ask.  But why not make stuff up to try to create problems for others because you are a problem?  Yeah, it cost me 50 bucks to be called a racist by a deadbeat, dishonest bum.  I’m so thrilled, and you?  As stated, the truth, was, is, and always will be THE TRUTH.

      A reminder on a recent trip…  A mother asked her daughter, “When you go to the bathroom, what hand do you wipe with?”  I can’t remember which hand the daughter replied with (right or left), but after replying the mother came back with the answer, “I use toilet paper myself.”  The voice of experience!  Thus proving that people have a left hand, a right hand, and toilet paper when needed.  But maybe not.  But when in doubt, why not ask an expert?  But actually, I first heard this joke back in third / fourth grade and it is nice to be reminded about being humble sometimes, isn’t it?  But you can jump to conclusions if you want but hopefully you know enough to wash your hands afterwards.

     And this keeps popping into my head from something that was said when I was younger.  Anyway, some people told me that Copernicus was working on some new ground breaking mathematics before he passed away long ago.  No notes were ever found saying what this new math was.  But when I was younger people said that I would probably be the one to rediscover Copernicus’ “lost math” theories.  I am hoping that I did but without the “lost notes” from Copernicus or such, no way to truly find out if what I put into Chapter Six is what Copernicus may have stumbled onto long ago.

     And also, what’s all this fuss about a ‘perpetual motion’ engine anyway?  It has been long known that magnetic repulsion (like magnets N – N, S – S repel) can be used to create a ‘perpetual motion’ engine.  Imagine not ever having to stop at a gas station again.  How about an entirely self-contained house that runs off an electric generator powered by, you guessed it, magnets (magnetic repulsion).  Yes it is possible.  And this is a gift from me to the world.  Let it now be known that myself, as the Creator of this idea of magnetic repulsion in engine form, wishes for this idea to be available to whoever and whomever wishes to develop this.  So let it now be known that ANYONE shall be allowed to develop this notion in any way that they shall seem fit as of October 24, 2012.  No ‘sole copyrights’.  No ‘sole patents’.  And the like.  Whoever has the idea, do it.  Build it.  Sell it to others.  Teach others how to make it on their own.  But do not be ‘possessive’ with it and therefore allow others to enjoy the joy of learning and discovery as well as I have done so many times throughout my lifetime.  But, oh well, with the current USAn election (2012), it is small wonder that if this is “the best” the USA has to offer to run this country then we are indeed in obvious trouble.  I vote to elect a box of rocks for president AND vice president of the USA in 2012 and how about you?

     And a story about an actual flight delay from the actual pilot behind the delay.  Anyway, the pilot was listening to his crew do nothing but complain about the trip they were going to be on and the place they were going.  The crew kept talking about ways to sabotage the flight and other forms of sneaky things that “could happen” to get this flight stopped so the crew didn’t have to do this flight.  SO…  The pilot brought the plane back around and kicked the other three crew members off and grabbed three standby crew members in their place.  It ended up being a one hour delay but the flight got there despite, as the pilot called them, “the crew from Hell”.  But it’s not always weather or such as the reason for delay.  Maintenance issue – pilot trying to maintain sanity amidst ‘crew from Hell’.  The pilot was happy.  The standby crew was happy.  Does anyone care about the three left ‘behind’ crew members?  So long as they didn’t get to actually sabotage the flight, who cares, right?  But last I knew there still wasn’t a checkbox for the airline’s pilots for “Crew is a bunch of whiny, complaining assholes so I booted said crew off the plane” as an option for a flight delay.  So like the pilot said, “maintenance delay”.  Stuff happens.

      The new math?  Well, think about it for a second (or longer if so inclined).  Problem, you got a bunch of people trying to drain the economies so that there is nothing left for anyone except the fortunate few in positions of ‘power’.  No duh, this system is very warped, corrupted, dishonest, and so on…  The rules should apply to all but do not and never have, ever!  Why have so few been rewarded with so much for so long?  Greed.  A system that has totally and always been based around rewarding greed.  Solution.  Ask the question, “You need all this money for what?”  You already know the answer but see if the one you are asking can be totally honest.  They can’t?  Why do you look so surprised?  But the answer to this question isn’t that difficult if you think about it and we all know that honest answers lead to honest solutions correct?  But the answer is as simple as the question itself, “You need all this money for what?”  Answer, “So that no one else has it.”  Greed.  Solution.  Honesty.  A perpetual motion engine that doesn’t require people picking other people’s pockets all the time.  Magnets.  Iron.  Steel.  Honesty.  And honestly, the one’s in “power” wish to keep this “power” by making sure that everything done requires constant draining of resources to keep the money flowing into the coffers of those controlling these resources with no money flowing out to others outside this vicious and degrading circle.  A constant bottleneck of resources flowing one way with as many as possible paying the price for all this greed.  See why a perpetual motion engine seems like an impossibility?  This is why my solution is to open up this idea and make it available to ALL including the “dirty dozen / chosen few”.  Just because others are happy being greedy doesn’t mean that I will ever find happiness that way, does it?  And think about it.  Do these greedy people at the top ever seem happy?  Seriously.  They can never own it all but they keep trying but never seem to find happiness.  Why?  Because too much is never enough for them and being at the ‘top’ equates to never being satisfied.  The new math.  Power / Strength.  Choices.  Choices.  Choose.  Chews gum.  Chews life.  Choose life.  Power is fleeting.  Strength is eternal.  Chews.  Choose.  Choices.  Old, new, middle.  Choose wisely.  Choose foolishly.  Just chews.  Just choose.  You have so many choices, but when you choose the choice is still yours and mine alone.  Two alone?  Twosome.  Threesome (triste).  Gang bang.  Censored.  Uncensored.  Monogamous.  Polygamous.  Beastiality with a mouse?  You funny, but how can that be?  It is what it is.  You is what you is.  They are what they are.  We are what we is.  I am that I am.  Or are we all just figments of some other warped beings imagination?  No matter how hard or how easy to swallow.  Just chews.  Just choose.  But if you wanna seem smart, put some thought behind it first, but if not, just be a behind and try to keep spending your life keeping others “off guard” so that they hopefully don’t catch on.  What a life.  What life?  Good question.  Any honest answers?  Honestly?  It is what you make of it after all.  Good.  Bad.  Indifferent.  Just.  Unjust.  People out of work.  People not needing work.  Why is college so expensive anyway?  Chewses.  Choices.  Flatulence!!!!  Just passing gas / breaking wind.  Breaking ground.  New ground.  Unfound.  Dumfound.  Uh huh.  Yup yup.  Choose.  Chews.  Regurgitate.  Spit it out.  Chews.  Choose.  Edumacated = the art of trying to make people think you know all the answers.  Unedumacated = the art of knowing better, thinking twice.  The new math.

     And yes, I’m publicly releasing the contents of the book around October 24, 2012 because let’s face it, “How in the blazes am I ever gonna shrink up the contents of this book into some ‘short’ advertising blurb?”  Could you describe this book in a zillion words or less?  Be honest…   It was all I could do to shrink this book into 220 pages let alone 250 words or less…

     And why not?  For those that like puzzles, they could rename the street that Buckingham Palace resides on after “Thee Ace Man” and not have to change the sign for the street.  Just a thought that crossed my mind.

     And finally, Caring is really when you finally realize that you are no better than anyone else and no one else is better than you.
     Addendum.  And how have things been adding up in your life?  Good (+), bad (-), indifferent (?)?  What secrets (subtractions)?  My life?  Your life?  Flesh.  Spirit.  Feeling better?  Feeling worst?  What do you have to add to this or have we added enough already?  [World peace].  Continue on and reread as necessary…

     But the real question needing to be answered is…  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?…

     With the way things are, who would really want the Earth?  What inheritance?  A huge nuclear infested pothole?  I will not let others hurt you but I will also not allow you to hurt others.  The Meek.  The Church. Wow.  Full circle.  Dang, you’re still reading this?  Life is out there, but then too, I’m still writing.  But no, I never figured on myself being the one to be the one to write the actual autobiography of The Keeper of the Book of Life, but stranger things have happened.  Peter (Simon) got the keys to the Pearly Gates of Heaven.  The Book of Life chose me for some strange reason.  How are you doing?  The meaning of life in one word -> Oops.

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