First, contact information : email : theeaceman64@gmail.com
Interesting Conversations
and Events I've had over the years
and
when, where, who, and what happened... (and to note, I could not put
these stories in 'The New Math' like this because how do you get
permission from dead people? And on that same token, how can
people like Albert Einstein and Edgar Cayce copyright their names so
that no one can use them without their permission when they are dead
and can't give their permission?) Just some thoughts here.
These are the full stories as best as possible. If I do not
capture my own thoughts as they actually are, then who can other than
me, myself, and I? These are the events that I remember and how
those thoughts and ideas came about, what those thoughts and ideas
were, and the reason(s) and event(s) behind those thoughts and
ideas. This is not to dignify nor indignify myself or others, but
to remember. And imagine trying to remember this stuff off the
top of your head and hope you get all the details in the right order
and such. Now imagine trying to tell all this many times to
different people and hope that they heard what you said the right way
and hoping that you got all the details. Better yet, why not just
write it out? So I did. This page is kind of a reference
and a lesson to
myself and others of why it may be important to write stuff down even
if you do have a photographic type memory. And as you can tell by
length, there is definitely a
lot to remember here. Read on... (yes,
this page is public, but I am keeping this
page kind of hidden because...). And yes, this contains adult
content.
When : March / April 1973
(near the end of Second Grade)
Where : Severn Elementary School, Corning, NY
Who : Mrs. Harris
What happened : Well, I realized it said Name________ on the
top of the
tests we were taking and little old me decided to put 'Me' in the name
blank. Mrs. Harris came over and said "Your name is not me,
change it." And then I said out loud, "If I'm not me, who am I
then?" And after about five minutes of arguing back and forth and
the class laughing,
Mrs. Harris asked me to copy out of the dictionary. The next test
I put 'Myself' then the next test I put 'I'. On the fourth test,
Mrs. Harris had been talking with Mr. Siegler and Mr. Siegler suggested
that Mrs. Harris put "Your Name_____________" on the test. So
Mrs. Harris put "Your Name________" at the top of the fourth test and
when handing me the test, Mrs. Harris stood there pointing at the test
and saying "I want you to put your name YOUR NAME on the test", and
of course if my name is not me, myself or I then your name is
definitely not you is it?
What came of this : Henceforth was the search for
'progressive
education' where a four year college graduate MAY be able to deal with
a second grader on a more intellectual level. Look for the 'Your
Name_______' blank on these kinds of tests. Lo and behold,
progressive educators did not think of 'Legal Name________' yet which
would have actually solved the problem. Common Core is even more
of a joke.
I was walking home from school one day
and I
saw two younger boys that I recognized, Billy and Dickie, walking
together, going home,
after school. I spoke out and said, “If you two are gonna hold
hands, you’re gonna need to learn to fight, wanna learn?” And the
two boys stopped and at first it was one on one, but even two on one I
was easily tossing them around. Next thing that happened was a
girl’s voice calling out, “You two leave him alone.” And I said
back, “I started it.” Then Julie Sage said, “I know those two and
they
better leave you alone.” The two kids were stunned and I let go
and they took off running after about a minute when they realized I
wasn’t going to fight anymore with them.
Julie and I then started talking and
the first
words out of my mouth were something like, “Seriously, I started
it.” And Julie said, “Doesn’t matter. I know you’re a nice
boy.” Next I said, “Want me to carry your books for you?”
And she said, “Yes.” So off we went towards home. Next I
said, “Does your dad ever hit you with his belt?” And she shook
her head yes. Next, “Hair brush?” And she nodded yes
again. Then I said, “My parents tried using the bristle end once
but it bounced too much so they turned it back around.” And Julie
said, “Mine haven’t done that yet.” Next question from me,
“Switch?” And Julie asked, “What’s a switch?” I said, “It’s
when you take a branch off a tree. I try to get a big branch
because it is hard for them to lift unlike the smaller ones.” And
Julie said, “Nope, they’ve never done that.”
We talked an awful lot for two blocks
and both
our parents smoked and we didn’t like that. And both our parents
fought and argued which we didn’t like either. Julie’s favorite
color was red and she loved monarch butterflies. My favorite
color was silver and black and then came the end of the walkway and
time to cross the street. So I said, “Which way?” And she
said, “I gotta go this way.” And I was like, “I gotta go the
other way.” I then said something like, “Nice talkin’ to ya but I
gotta go before I get in trouble for bein’ late.” She said, “Me
too.” I then said something like, “Oops, you’ll need your
books.” I had never done anything awkward that I could
remember. But yes, I dropped the books, hers and mine. I
said, “Sorry, I’m such a klutz.” And she said, “That’s OK.
I’ll see you again sometime.” We then picked up our books and
went our separate ways.
The next day I showed up for class and
Mrs.
McKendrick, my third grade teacher, noticed that I was not wearing my
belt around my pants.
The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you wearing your belt?” And I
responded, “My dad hits me with his belt and I don’t want to do that to
my kids, so I’m never gonna wear a belt again.” The next day
nearly all the boys in the class were not wearing belts. The
night before I just couldn’t understand why Julie’s dad would ever want
to hurt her with a belt. Julie was a nice, quiet girl in school,
and for the first time in my life I had met someone that I just could
not think about hurting. I was a fighter and not a hippy,
tree-hugging pacifist and such.
The next day Julie was also telling
people how
she met a nice boy named Bubba and more than one kid asked if Julie was
stoned or high on something. Julie only knew about the quiet kid,
Bubby, in school, not the “Hi, I’m Bubby, wanna fight?” kid that most
others knew. Also, things got twisted around at school the next
day as well. Julie was known now as the girl that had beat up two
boys at the same time!
Oh well, Julie had met a nice boy that
was
what mattered and if Bubby was a “nice boy” then no one wanted to argue
about it with a girl that had just beat up two boys at the same
time! Plus, Bubby was always looking for a fight anyway.
Julie went from the “nice and quiet” girl to being known as a fighter
and I went from being the fighter to being “a nice guy”.
A few people came up to me and asked
me, “Are
you really a nice guy now?” And I said, “If Julie says I am then
I must be. Do you wanna fight about it?” Then they would
say, “No, no, just askin’.” Then came “Bubby and Julie sittin’ in
a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, second comes marriage, then
comes Bubby in a baby carriage. Suckin’ his thumb, wettin’ his
pants. Doin’ the hula hula dance. Bubby’s in love.
Bubby’s in love.” And I would say, “Yeah, wanna make somethin’ of
it?” And then they would back away. I was still Bubby after
all.
Julie and I walked together a few more
times
but it started getting close to the end of the school year and I
wouldn’t see Julie again until next school year. So near the end
of the year I asked Julie, “Julie, you know my real name, Adrian,
Andrew, and Bubby, Bubba, but I could use a better name. Can you
help me?” And Julie said, “If you wanna go out with a girl,
what’s the first thing you look at?” And I answered,
“Face.” And Julie said, “How about Ace?” And I said,
“Cool!” Then I said, “”I’m gonna tell everyone my name’s Ace from
now on.”
So the next day at school I said, “Hi,
my
name’s not Bubby anymore. It’s Ace now and I’m a nice guy.
If you call me Bubby again I’ll kick yer ass.” What a nice guy,
right?
But after Julie came up with the
nickname Ace
for me, I said to Julie, “How does Jewels sound?” Then I
explained, “Not like the Crowned Jewels that just sit on a shelf and
collect dust, but the Family Jewels that someone would want to start a
family with?” Julie said, “OK” and we finished our walk only I
had forgotten in all the excitement and actually walked all the way to
Julie’s house this time. Oops. Julie had a younger sister
that she named Pasa (passa), not like in 'que pasa', but as in pass the
(passa) potatoes. Julie's younger sister was about 7 or 8 years
younger than Julie.
Anyway, on the way, we did the
dandelion test
where you put a dandelion under your chin and if your chin turns
yellow… which of course it did. Was a big time of change for me
throughout third grade. The biggest change was that I did not
feel like fighting anymore. As well, Julie’s next door neighbor,
Brian Bavisoto, who started the Marquis de Sade jokes last year, was
doing
Family Jewels jokes at the end of this year.
Another oddity. At this time in
the
history of the USA, there were a bunch of brats that were trying to get
away with stuff by holding their breath. A “childish” form of
suicide so to speak. Adults’ response at the time was “Oh
whatever shall I do, my baby”. My response was, “Let the spoiled
brat ‘do themselves in’ then realize that all the brat is going to do
is turn red or blue in the face then pass out then start breathing
again. Spoiled brat, don’t give into this and definitely don’t
give them what they want. The ones holding their breath are just
trying to get away with something bad. Don’t let them get away
with it no matter what!”
Adults listening to a nine year
old? It
happened. After getting a headache then NOT getting what they
wanted the “I’m gonna hold my breath and you won’t have me around
anymore” hoax stopped. Dumb nine year old. Adults should
never listen to kids. But then again why not? It worked
didn’t it?
What came of this : Julie Sage and I met. The 'no belt'
rebellion
of third grade. I changed from being a fighter to a nice guy and
from Bubby to Ace. Julie Sage changed from being quiet to being a
fighter. And adults listened to a kid for a change and learned
something finally.
Where : Sunday School House First Episcopal Church (corner of
First and
Cedar Streets), Corning, NY
Who : Substitute teacher for Mrs. Harvin (?)
What happened : I was in Sunday school at church and I raised
my hand
and asked the teacher a question. The question was, "We know
Jesus
was born on December 25th and surely if you know the month and day then
surely you must know the year, what year was Jesus born in, do you
know?" And the teacher replied, "The year zero". Then
another kid responded, "There is no year zero in the Julian Calendar."
What came of this : Well, I was happy with the answer, but
others
weren't. This pretty much has become a rallying cry against the
Roman Catholic Church. The Church used the date to convert a
group called the Mithrites who danced around pine trees awaiting the
return of their savior, Mithra, who was born on December 25th.
December 25th
was and is not Jesus' birthday. The calendar also used to start
in March and end in February (hint, Sept is 7 not 9, Oct is 8 not 10,
Neuf (Nov) is 9 not 11, and Dec is 10 not 12). The calendar
months were changed to coincide with 'the new year' coming a week after
the birth of Mithra. Yes, I was the kid who helped
take Christ out of Christmas. Others actually did it. I was
just kind of caught in the middle.
When : October? 1973 I
believe on a wednesday a week after the "Jesus
was
born in the year zero" incident.
Where : Sunday School House First
Episcopal
Church (corner of First and
Cedar Streets), Corning, NY
Who : the Archdeacon of Canterbury,
Bernard
Pawley & his Second? Assistant, Sir Nicholas Boehr (Boer, however
spelled)
Back in 1973 or 1974,
proceedings were arranged to excommunicate me from the Roman Catholic
Church (which had not been done in over 200 years from what I heard,
but not sure how accurate the comment was). The event
was scheduled. This person was the
Archdeacon of Canterbury, Bernard Pawley.
What
happened to bring
this about? Well, I asked the Sunday School teacher, "We know Jesus was
born on December 25th, do you know what year it was? Surely if you know
the month and day, someone must know the year." And I believe it was a
substitute teacher (maybe Mrs. Harvin, but probably not) who responded,
"The year zero."
At the
meeting before
the excommunication ceremony was to take place, the gentleman from the
church came and talked with me in private. I was led up to him by his
assistant, Sir Nicholas Boehr. This was not a standard
preacher or such. He was definitely older in his 70s or 80s even
and was very thin and had white robes with red trim and a pointy white
hat I believe. He also had 'flabby' jowels looking almost like a
bulldog type face on a person. Anyway, he started talking to me
like this, "I am the Archdeacon of Canterbury and you have already met
my faithful servant, Sir Nicholas. I imagine that you are
wondering why I am here. I am here because the Pope issued
a signed order that you are to be eliminated immediately before the
next sunrise. He also
told me personally to try and do this as discreetly as possible so as
to not draw attention to the church. So I said to myself, if the
Pope wants this done, why doesn't he do it himself instead of putting
it on my shoulders. Why should I have to do the Pope's dirty
work? So here I am. I am here because I am shocked
that such a little innocent child could cause such a
ruckus. I know you are not really the one responsible for this ruckus,
but there is a big ruckus none the less. The church is all up in arms
over something as simple as a child's innocent question and an answer
that a teacher should not have given without authorization from the
church. No one has been excommunicated from the church in over 200
years and I do not wish to be the one to reinstate that terrible
practice now. Boiling people in oil, burning at the stake. Terrible
practices. Barbaric practices. And honestly, knowing who you are,
chances are if we did try to boil you in oil, you would be dangling
from a rope while the oil vat spilled over and killed everyone else
while you would remain safe. I know who you are and your coming
was foretold long ago. I actually came here to protect you not
harm you. There are others that if they knew you existed and who
you were, they would try to hunt you down to try and make sure you did
not fulfill the prophesies about you. In order to protect you, I
need to have you sign a paper for me that my assistant has. After
you sign this paper, I will explain some things to you. And what
this paper does is make sure that your name does not appear in the
international or national news for any reason whatsoever. Like I
said, I am here to try and protect you. If certain people find
out that you exist, they will try to kill you. I also have a
feeling that Someone else is watching over you anyway, but I wish to do
what I can as well. Just an added precaution if I might
say. Sir Nicholas?" And Sir Nicholas just said, "Sign here
and we'll explain." I signed. Then the archdeacon
continued, "This paper also helps protect me as well, because what I am
about to tell you is very sensitive information and if it became
public, there would be many problems for all of us. After signing
that paper, you can not have anything written about you in the national
and international news for any reason. Anything you say or do
will be blocked from being published internationally and
nationally. It is an Order of Suppression and it forbids your
name from being used in any articles of significance, local news does
not apply. With that being said, The year zero never happened and
there
was never a year zero
on the julian calendar. The answer the teacher gave was incorrect. The
true answer I will give to you now, but be forewarned, the Roman
Catholic Church, after all of this hullabaloo, does not want people to
hear this answer, but I feel you deserve it after being put through all
of this through no fault of your own. In the early days when the church
was forming, the church saw that there were a large group of people
known as the Mithrites, who every 25th of December would dance around
naked around a pine tree in a fertility festival as it was believed by
the Mithrites, that the Mithrite's saviour, Mithra, was to be born on
December 25th at some future date. This was a large group of people at
the time on the eastern border. As the birthdate of Jesus was unknown,
the leaders of the church seeing this large group of people, realized
that if they could convert these people, it would be a large addition
to the number of Christians in the world. The Ottoman Turks also wished
to convert these people as well. The early Roman Catholic Church,
seeing that the birthdate of Jesus was unknown, and realizing that
these Mithrites were waiting for their saviour, Mithra, decided to make
Jesus' birthdate December 25th. Mithra fit the description of Jesus in
working miracles of healing the sick, making lame beggars walk, raising
the dead, and such. So the Roman Catholic Church decided to make
December 25th Jesus' birthdate to try and convince the Mithrites that
their saviour, Mithra, was Jesus Christ. As a result, most of the
Mithrites converted to Christianity instead of joining the Ottoman
Turks. Placing presents under a pine tree replaced the original
fertility part of the festival, the three wise men, and all that. But
Christmas was born from the Roman Catholic Church wanting to convert
the large group of Mithrites to Christianity. In addition, the calendar
was changed from starting on March, to starting on January as January
1st was one week from December 25th in honor of starting the new year
one week after the birth of the saviour, Jesus Christ, as the Mithrites
believed that a new beginning was to happen after their saviour,
Mithra, was to be born. Rest assured, the church does not want people
to know this story and after the Mithrites were converted the documents
were either destroyed or hidden to never be seen again. But this story
was relayed to me and I feel it is only fitting that you should know
too. You did nothing wrong outside asking a simple question, and your
teacher did nothing wrong outside provide an answer that she thought to
be correct. But you are an innocent and in light of all that has
happened, I can not in good conscience excommunicate you. Two wrongs do
not make a right. But, however, in light of what has happened, I would
recommend that you do not attend this church anymore for yours and
their own good. If you do attend this church, I probably will have to
excommunicate you if anything more were to happen beyond what has
already happened. Also, I hope you do not talk to others about this as
the church does not want people having this information. I hope
you understand. You seem to be a bright child, but a child none
the less. Sir Nicholas, use the secret exit so as not to be seen
leaving by the others. You are free to go now."
I
was then escorted out
by Sir Nicholas and Sir Nicholas said, "Oh good, I get to use the
secret passage. I love secret passages. Follow me." and
that was that. Sir Nicholas told me that he had gone to the local
butcher shop and got a bag of pig's bones that they were going to
present to the Pope saying that they were my bones. Also, Sir
Nicholas said that they had special ceremony brochures printed up with
'excommunication' printed on them that they were going to present to
the Pope as well. I saw Sir Nicholas again in 1979 and Sir
Nicholas told me that the Pope figured out that the bag of bones were
pig bones and not mine but the Pope was happy that they had got me to
sign the Order of Suppression and that should be good enough. Let
someone else deal with it in the future. The Pope and the
Archdeacon were fine now and used to have disdain for one another but
became very close friends after that which was what mattered. The
Pope also admitted that he didn't have the heart to carry out his own
order either. I was close, but I did not get
excommunicated from
the church. The teacher was asked to ask the church first before
responding to a difficult question like that. The teacher was not
excommunicated either that I am aware of.
What came of this : This event
apparently was
what started the "Keep Christ in Christmas" movement. As far as I know,
I never wished to take Christ out of Christmas (Xmas, whatever). My
guess would be that if the documents do still exist they would probably
be hidden somewhere in the tomb of Saint Nicholas if such a tomb
exists. But
then too, many years later I noticed where it said "Sower of Seeds" in
the Bible and it seems
unlikely that the Sower of Seeds would be born in the middle of winter
when seeds are unlikely to grow.
What happened : On our way back from a family trip to Mystic,
Connecticut, we stopped and watched the New York Yankees play the Texas
Rangers and it was free helmet day. Well, I looked at the helmet
guy and I asked, "Any helmet?" and he said, "Yes". So me and my
sister each picked out Oakland A's helmets. Lo and behold, every
time we put the helmets on, the TV cameras turned towards us. A's
helmets at a Yankees / Rangers game stood out. And I could hear
Phil Rizzuto's voice up in the box each time the camera came around
saying, "Holy cow, I think those kids are in the wrong ballpark."
Anyway, when we got back to Corning, everyone knew we were at the
Yankees / Rangers game.
What came of this : Well, things were kinda stale back in the
day. The Yankees were doing so well this
year that the "Holy Cow,
wrong ballpark" footage was used several times throughout the season as
a
highlight on TV. After this, a lot of
people started doing odd stuff to draw
attention to themselves. Well, this and that streaker guy at the
1976 Montreal Olympics.
Where : 265 East Third Street (basement door), Corning, NY
Who : Shaddai (God Himself) & Son
What
happened
: It was third or fourth grade that I also had a
very odd thing happen. My father was practicing with the band
downstairs at night and I was getting ready to go to bed so I turned
out the light. When I turned out the light there was a very
defined image in light by the basement door of a man sitting in a chair
with a child on his left leg. The man was sitting but looked to
be about six feet tall and around 160 to 170 pounds (slender/medium
build) with a beard that stopped at his neck line and
mustache and wearing a long
white robe with sleeves that came down to his wrists on his arms and
also was pleated about his waist and below to about a foot above his
feet but flat above his waist and completely covered his torso.
Upon his feet were
open-toed sandals like the sandals found on the 'ice man' or the 'bog
man'. The man had dark brown hair and brown eyes and his
hair
was full and wavy and brushed back off his forehead and just passed his
shoulders in back. The man looked to be between the age of 35 and
38. The child had short blond hair and blue eyes and was wearing
a boys’ suit with tied black shoes and looked to be about three years
old. The chair was solid with decorations all over it including a
rounded top with two doves with olive branches in their mouths etched
into the top, wings
outstretched
forward towards each other and facing each other in the middle.
In the late 1980’s I realized that this chair fit the exact description
of the “mercy seat” or Throne of Judgment mentioned in the Bible for
the Ark of the Covenant. Solid alabaster with solid arms and the
etched panels by his feet depicting wheat, vines and such. I
couldn't see what was etched into the back of the seat behind
him. Nothing spoken and I turned the light
off then back on again and still there. Then I looked under the
bed and out the window to see if it was some weird light source but
nothing. I then left the light off and closed my eyes and tried
to go to sleep thinking... And during the night, within an hour or two,
the image disappeared. I didn't get any sleep, but I also had my
eyes closed. I'm pretty sure this happened after I was kicked out
of Sunday School, but not 100% positive because it has been a long time
since then.
What came of this : There
is a God and I saw him. With that being
said, He definitely is nothing like Zeus (the Roman God of Gods who
uses the 'thunderbolt' aka lightning and scraggly gray hair and the
like). Seeing is knowing not believing. Well, things
happen. You can't undo what's been done. But how much of
the Holy Bible is actually from God Himself and how much is 'man
made'? The truth always will be the truth. Why me?
Why not me?
It is what it is. Next...
Where : Corning National Minor League Field by Corning
Building
Company, South Corning, NY
Who : Jimmy "Cool Papa" Bell
What happened : It was a rainout game between ourselves,
McCarty's
Insurance, and Harris Foodlines for either a three-way tie for first
place or a two-way tie for second place. It was the last game of
the 1975 baseball season and on Memorial Day no less. It was a
six inning game and in the top of the fifth inning we were ahead either
13 to 6 or 13 to 7. If we held Harris Foodlines in the top of the
fifth, we win because of the five run inning rule and tie for first
place with Stuart & Sons Dairy and Modern Home Improvement. I
pitched the game and it was my usual slow balls around the plate up
until the fifth inning. In the fifth inning it was Tom Hope,
Scott Iddings, Ty Good, and possibly Mike Stafford due up for Harris
Foodlines. I took the mound in the fifth inning and for the only
time in a game I actually threw my fastball. From the windup
until the ball went across the plate was around a second long for nine
straight pitches. Tom Hope and Scott Iddings both never even came
close to hitting the ball. After the first pitch to Tom Hope, the
lady that lived across from the ballpark came out of her door and
yelled out, "Are you alright? Why's nobody running?
Someone's shooting a gun off out there and I'm gonna call the
cops." To which my father replied back to her, "That's not a gun,
it's my son's fastball." And the lady said, "Oh, are you
sure? I guess I won't call the cops then" and she went back
inside her house. The ball was in the glove before the bat came
off of Tom's or Scott's shoulders. Two outs and Ty Good came up
to bat. On the first pitch Ty's bat came off his shoulder about
two inches before the ball was in Kenny Prisella's catcher's
mitt. Strike one. A person on the bleachers came over
to the coach of Harris Foodlines and started telling Ty to lower his
bat along his side and try swinging from there. Ty's bat moved
about two inches again and strike two. On the third pitch, this
other person told Ty to just stick his bat out in front of the
catcher's mitt and line it up with the mitt, which Ty did. The
ball hit the bat and you could hear Ty yelling, "You broke my
bat. You broke my brand new bat. You owe me a new bat." and
Ty banged his bat on the ground and you could hear the 'tink' of a
broken wooden bat. Meanwhile the ball was soaring high into the
air and people started yelling to Ty, "Run. Run. it's a
fair ball. Run. Ty. Run." And Ty started
running and rounded second base when, lo and behold, Ted Ughetta, our
second baseman, caught his first ball of the season. How Ted even
managed to stay with it the rest of us don't know as me, Paul Garvey,
Sammy Young, Kenny Prisella, Justin Miller, Tommy English, Mark
Maraglia, and the rest couldn't even see it because it was so high and
in the sun. At least a thirty second fly ball and the ONLY ball
that Ted didn't drop or miss all year. Game over and the person
that had told Ty what to do asked if he could go out on the field and
shake hands too.
The person was Jimmy "Cool Papa" Bell.
Jimmy came over and shook my hand and said, "I'm Jimmy Bell. I
used to play centerfield for the Homestead Grays and Kansas City
Monarchs with Satchell Paige and Josh Gibson. They used to call
me 'The fastest man in baseball'". I used to round the bases and
the coach would have the stop watch and would say 12 seconds every
time. I remember one time the coach told me the watch said 11
seconds and I said, "The watch must be broke coach, I run the bases in
twelve seconds." During the 1932 olympics Satchell Paige and Josh
Gibson used to go over to the phones in the dugout and pick up the
phone and say "Hey Jimmy, it's Jesse Owens. He said he wasn't
able to catch up with you and get his baton back after the 500 meter
relay." That was unusual for
Josh because Josh was usually pretty quiet. The
story that Satch says about me being so fast that I could flip off the
light switch and be under the covers before the lights went out was
true and happened, but there was something wrong in the hotel room so
the lights went out a couple seconds after the switch was turned
off. HBO did a special a couple years ago but I declined to talk
because I figured what would I have to say that hadn't already been
said. When I played I used to look out into the bleachers and see
all these people that wanted to play baseball too so I always did my
best.
It was tough when I realized I was getting old and couldn't
run like I used to and I retired. I always played baseball and
I've never been much for sitting on the benches and watching
baseball. I never really felt like a fan until watching this game
and remembering what it was like when we used to hit against
Satch. Satch had long, lanky arms like you do and he always said
he used to throw even faster when he was around 10 years old but I
never believed him until I just saw what you did. I was the lead
off, contact hitter for the teams. I told him what to do because
I remembered that's how we used to hit against Satch back when Satch
had his stuff. The only pitchers I couldn't hit were Satchell
Paige, Walter Johnson, and Bob Feller. Bob
Feller wasn't really that fast, about 96 or 98 miles
an hour because they timed him with a guy on a motorcycle and that's
about right. Bob wasn't that fast, but he curled up in a ball and
I
just couldn't time him. I haven't seen pitching like that in
about 40
to 50 years. I scouted Nolan
Ryan and I could hit him. Nolan was fast, but you could time
him. I never got a chance to hit against Cy Young because of the
league rules and Cy didn't have the money like Babe Ruth did to pay
fines if he got caught.
And so you know, Babe Ruth still had a 92
mile an hour fastball. Whenever Babe would be in town, he'd give
us a call and say, "You wanna play some ball" and we always said
yes. Babe used to grab a couple umpires from the game he played
and tell them, "You wanna make an extra couple a bucks." And most
were pretty willing. Babe did get caught but he still did it
afterwards, he just wouldn't use certain umpires again. We'd all
go off to some sandlot and choose up teams and play. Shirts and
skins and Babe was usually the shirts team because like he said, "Ain't
nobody wants to see that." I always wondered and one day I got up
the nerve and sat next to Babe and then Babe said, "You know Jimmy,
you're one heck of a ballplayer and I know what you're gonna ask and
you should know what happened that day". Babe said that everytime
he
came up to the plate in that game Gabby Hartnett was back there saying,
"Babe, where was ya last night. We and the boys missed ya
Babe. Where wuz ya? And the first time up I hit a home
run. The second time up I struck out and it just got to me.
Babe, where wuz ya... So my third time up to the plate I turned
back to Gabby and said, Gabby, you wanna know where I wuz. I'll
tell you where I wuz, you see that hot little number in the fifth row
out there, THAT'S WHERE I WUZ!!!" And then Babe said to Jimmy,
"And the good Lord willing, I hit the ball." As Jimmy said, "Babe
was always like
that, respectful to the Lord and humble". Babe said he was sworn
to secrecy by the coach about it so he never told anyone. Jimmy
was driving around in the area scouting for the PONY leagues and this
was the only game he could find. But he said it was weird, it was
like something was drawing him here for some reason. "I finally
realize what it is to be a fan now. I always thought that the
people on the bleachers came to play too." And we both left the
field.
What came of this : Ace reliever, Ace pitcher. Jimmy
realized
that most likely Cy Young, Walter Johnson, and Satchell Paige were
faster than Nolan Ryan, but no one had a radar gun back then. It
was decided that it would be noted, for the record, that Nolan Ryan was
the fastest pitcher caught with a radar gun. Cy, Walter, Satch,
and Ace were never caught on a radar gun. Well, actually, Satch
was caught with a gun in later years but Satch was either not allowed
or not able to throw his fastball after radar was available. And
the stories of the
good old days were priceless especially about Babe Ruth's "called shot"
story.
What Happened : A
long discussion
on 'rhetorical questions'. The discussion started with "Does
anybody know what a rhetorical question is?" and nobody, not even
myself, answered. Next, Mr. Davis had 5 or so questions written
on index
cards in his hands and he proceeded to read off the questions.
First question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Of course a
kid raised his hand and answered, "To get to the other side."
Index card placed under Mr. Davis's leg as Mr. Davis said, "Bad example
I
guess. Next question." "Which came first, the chicken or
the egg?" I raised my hand on that one and then answered,
"Chicken." And Mr. Davis said, "Are you sure about that.
Was
the first chicken hatched from an egg or did the chicken just appear as
a chicken?" And I said, "I'm sure it was the chicken because
every rooster knows you can screw with an egg all you want and it ain't
never
gonna cum." Mr. Davis then said, "Another wrong example I
guess. Next question." Index card under the leg
again. Next index card. "Why are we here?" I raise my
hand again and Mr. Davis calls on me again. I answer, "Because we
can't be two places at once." And Mr.Davis says, "Explain."
So
I said, "We can't be two places at once and since we aren't
there, we must be here, right?" Mr. Davis then said "Can't argue
with that." Then the index card gets put under his leg again and
again he says, "Bad example. Next question." "Why is the
world round?" Of course I raise my hand again on this one and he
calls on me again. I answer, "Because if it was flat everyone
would have fallen off the edge by now." Then Mr. Davis puts all
the
index cards under his leg. Then Mr. Davis
says, "A rhetorical question is a question that doesn't have an answer,
does anyone have an idea for a question that doesn't have an
answer?" And one of the other kids raises his hand and says, "Why
do they teach us such stupid stuff in school?" To which Mr. Davis
said, "Anyone got an answer for that including Mister Smart Ass over
there?"
Then Mr. Davis said that on the next test would be a question asking
for
an example of a
rhetorical question and feel free to use the question as the answer on
the test. Everyone except me got the answer right.
Unfortunately, I put 'Why do we have to learn such stupid stuff in
school?' on the test, but after that I wrote 'because the board of
education makes us do stupid stuff'. Oh well. Grades aren't
as important as learning stuff is it?
Where : Craft Fair, Severn Elementary School, Corning, NY
Who : Julie Sage, Karen Stirpe
What happened : Well, the school has a craft fair near the
end of the
school year (fifth grade). For the Craft Fair, Julie had decided
to be a 'medium' wearing a gypsy style outfit and having a crystal ball
and all that. Her best friend, Karen Stirpe, was Julie's
assistant. They staged it in the bathroom of all places and it
cost whatever (can't remember how many tickets) to get in. So I
paid the tickets and Julie started her routine and of course Julie and
I were kind of enjoying this a bit and almost giggling together.
Then Julie asks to see my palm as she is an actual palm reader (she
read up on what the lines meant and such. Julie was always
fascinated with gypsies and that kind of stuff). Anyway, left
hand given, right hand yet to come and Julie has both of my hands and
comments, "Your hands are sweaty. You're fine. You're
nervous aren't you?" And I shake my head yes. And then she
said, "Let's see what we got here. You have a long life
line. Your head line says you are very smart. You have a
chained heart line which means a lot of girlfriends. You son of a
b*tch." And I kind of lean back a bit thinking that Julie was
going to punch me. Julie's friend Karen starts giving me a dirty
look like I had cheated on her best friend type look. And then
Julie says, "Oh wait, I kind of misread that, you
have a chained heart line which means a lot of love in your heart for
someone. You love me, don't you?" And I was like, "You know
I do." And then she looked at my pinky lines and saw two
lines. The top line was already 'darkening' on my 'to come'
hand. And her eyes started beaming and she said, "That's alright
because I have a short life line and it is alright if you find someone
else after I die." And she showed me her hand which had a very short
life line, maybe about three quarters of an inch to an inch at the
most. She was like, "That top pinky line that is darkening means
that you have met your first true love already. It's me isn't
it? That's my line." And I was like, "Yes, it's definitely
you. I don't know about another yet. It definitely has to
be you. You know I still love you. I always will."
And then I look over at Karen and I say to Julie while Julie and I are
holding each other's hands, "I know Karen is your best friend and after
we get married, Karen can come over any time she wants." And
Karen just gives me a dirty look and then whispers something in Julie's
ear. And then Julie said something like, "Who says we are going
to get married?" And then I just give Julie a blank stare.
And then Julie says, "I don't ever remember saying that." And
then Karen starts laughing. And then I just break hand contact
with Julie and I leave the bathroom while Karen and Julie are laughing
together.
What became of this : More to follow. But Julie
explained to me
later that Karen thought I was 'hitting on Karen' when I made the "She
can come over anytime" remark. Julie knew what I meant but Karen
took it the wrong way. Julie also said that she noticed too that
Karen was acting a bit jealous over me because she thought I was going
to take Julie away from Karen. Honestly, Karen also referred to
herself in the third person. She would say out loud, "Karen,
remember your homework." or "Karen, what are you having for lunch
today?" And stuff like that to herself. And then Julie
wondered if I knew someone for Karen too. I really didn't know
anyone at the time because my best friend was Joe Andrews and he was
into military stuff (guns and planes and stuff) and not into girls at
the time and Karen wouldn't have liked him anyway. Also at this
time, both mine and Julie's parents had been turned into the child
abuse program and the program was pushing "take things away to
discipline your kids. Don't hit them." Well, the most
important thing to Julie and me at the time was each other. And
with that thought, if we stayed as a couple, our parents would have
tried to keep us apart until we did what our parents wanted. And
honestly, what our parents wanted was not what we felt we needed to
do. So yes, we decided that we had to wait until we were 18 or
older to run away together whether our parents wanted us together or
not. After 18, our parents didn't really have a say anymore
anyway.
Where : Severn Elementary School, Mrs. Larson's room,
Corning, NY
Who : Julie Sage, Karen Stirpe, Ty Good, Cort Anastasio,
others
What happened : Both Mrs. Larson and the next door teacher (I
think Mr.
Siegler) got called down to the office for an emergency. I was in
the classroom, but I knew what the call was about. The day
before, two kids had held me up with a knife and asked for money.
Both teachers were called down to the office to make sure that these
two kids did not come anywhere near their rooms. And while the
teachers are away, the kids must play. And what better than a
game of strip poker? Ty Good had the cards and Cort Anastasio was
kind of the 'enforcer' so to speak. There was a problem and Julie
noticed it too. Ty handed out the cards and then realized that
when Ty got to me, Ty dealt from the bottom of the deck. So of
course, I was given the low hand. But think about it. There
was to be me and Ty in the bathroom and I was to strip? Yeah, it
didn't sound right to me either and would have came off as Ty and I
being gay, queer, or whatever, so I refused and then Ty dealt again and
did the same thing again. Julie and I then exchanged cards and
Julie took the low hand. After that I said, "Well, now there's a
girl, I'll strip now. I'll go in." And then Cort kind of
held me back (honest, I just made it look good was all) and Ty and
Julie went into the bathroom. After that, Ty and Julie were
considered a 'couple' and the problem of Julie and I being split up by
our parents was solved. Ty and Julie lasted maybe two weeks at
the most being seen as a couple. But it worked. As far as
Karen was concerned, Julie and I were over. Karen didn't seem to
be jealous anymore. Karen still seemed to hate my guts, but that
was fine too. Karen was Julie's best friend, and if Karen thought
that Julie and I were done, then Karen wouldn't run her 'big mouth' to
everyone about Julie and I being a couple anymore. Julie and I
both knew that Karen liked to tell people's secrets. In all
honesty, if Julie was with Ty and such, I am not the jealous type
anyway. So long as Julie was happy, that was fine with me.
And in less than two weeks, it was very evident that Julie was not
happy with Ty at all. In all honesty, the only reason why I was
happy that Julie and Ty broke up was that I did not like seeing Julie
upset and unhappy. Ty was usually competitive with me, but I
really could have cared less as I was not really competitive myself.
What became of this : Julie Sage and I didn't have to worry
about our
parents hating either of us for possibly being a bad influence on each
other.
What happened : It was found through X-rays that I had a
double-nerved
upper left bicuspid and my mouth was swollen so Dr. Wylie decided to do
a double root canal on the tooth. During the root canal, Dr.
Wylie told me that he was taking the nerves and sending them to the
University of Berkeley California for further study while he was so
nervous, he just couldn't seem to stop shaking for some reason.
What came of this : I learned I had a unique tooth was about
it.
More later.
Where : Corning Free Academy, lunch room, Corning, NY
Who : Julie Sage and me
What happened : During a lunch time when Karen Stirpe was not
at
school, Julie Sage came over to sit with me at lunch. Honestly, I
had to move to another table. I know that Julie and I needed to
talk, but the other kids would have ratted on Julie and I talking in
lunch. I just had to move away and I saw Julie start to cry as I
moved, but I didn't have a choice. Also, Julie and I were in
sixth and seventh grade chorus together, but so was Karen Stirpe.
Julie and I just could not get a chance to talk like we needed to
without someone eavesdropping on our conversation.
What came of this : I felt really bad. Really
bad. I hurt
Julie. I know I hurt her bad, but I also know I didn't have a
choice. Someone would have told on us talking and sitting
together during lunch.
Where : Corning Free Academy Auditorium Balcony, Corning, NY
Who : two graduates from Harvard that later landed the
National
Transportation Safety Board contract
What happened : Two distinguished
gentlemen
showed up at the school and showed, of all things, a movie called
"Extreme Snowboarding". The whole class got out of going to class
to see this
movie but afterwards went back to class.
Before the movie started, I was escorted, by my english teacher Mr.
Goldberg, to the balcony of the
auditorium, to meet privately with these two gentlemen and, twist my
arm, get out of english class for today. They introduced
themselves and we shook hands
and I said I was Ace or something like that (maybe we didn’t shake
hands, memories fade). They said they were looking to form a new
company and were looking for ideas on how to improve the safety of
school buses. I told them that I walked to school but I would try
to help anyway. One of the two gentlemen then proceeded to
tell me that a school bus in Missouri had gone into a river in 1976 and
that two different school buses in Colorado had been caught in flash
floods in 1977. They said that all the people were rescued using
lines from shore and such but that the rescues were difficult.
They also said that they had talked to a bus driver whom had suggested
adding trap doors in the floor like in coach buses. My response
was, “You definitely don’t want to add trap doors in a school
bus. They are rattle traps and sooner or later one would fail and
a kid would fall in and get hurt. Also, kids tend to play with
stuff…” I then continued, “I understand that with high water it
would be difficult to open the doors or the emergency windows because
the water pressure would push against the windows and doors and make
them difficult to open. And who would want to open a trap door in
the floor underwater and let the water in? Have you thought about
adding a roof hatch like in a submarine?” They said it sounded
like a good idea and asked if I had any more ideas. At first I
said I couldn’t think of any ideas,
but then I said, “Hey, I rode a bus before going to my friend, Greg’s
house
and the emergency windows would bounce open. Might want to put a
latch before a kid bounces out some day.” Then they asked again,
“Anything else you can think of?” And I said something like, “No,
not off hand, wait a minute. I read in the paper recently where
they had some multi-car pileups. With a school bus you have the
emergency door in back and the normal doors on the front passenger
side. If a bus gets rear-ended and pushed into the car in front
and the bus front fender got pushed into the side doors then both doors
might not open… Have you ever thought about adding a door about
in the middle behind the driver’s side just in case?” We both
agreed that was about all I could think of. They also said I
could come along with them and help them pitch their ideas. I
said something like, "Thanks, but who ever listens to kids
anyway. You can do it though." They then said something
like, "If you ever want to go to college let us know and we can get you
in, just use us as a reference if you want." Then Mr. Goldberg
took me back to class.
What came of this : Well, Harvard landed the National
Transportation
Safety Board (NTSB) president's position thus adding to their
prestige. A 13 year old giving Harvard more prestige? Stuff
happens. And if you look at school buses after 1978, I
guess my ideas were used.
What happened : The IQ test happened and my getting a 119 on
the test
raised some eyebrows. Not so much because of the score, 119, but
because of the way I addressed the test itself as being inferior and
that the 'a**holes' that made this faulty test ought to follow their
own blank, blank, blankity blank directions and then some.
What came of this : IQ test was changed from the fill in the
blank
format to a multiple choice test in 1979. More on this in the
next one, Sir Nicholas Boehr.
What Happened : It was the seventh grade math final and Mr.
Baker said
he was worried because every year he made an offer that if a student
got a 90 or better on his final exam that he would give them $50.
Me and Mary Frick were both in his class this year and we were both
the types to possibly get that 90 (even though if you added up the
points on the final, I believe it only added up to 89). After the
sweating was over and the test was done, I got an 81 and Mary Frick
got an 86. The difference between us was an extra credit question
that everyone except me got right. I read it as X = 1 + 2 and put
X = 3. The real question was X + 1 = 2 which of course X =
1. Mary beat me on a 'challenge' type test and as such has been
the only one that has ever scored higher than me on such a test.
I finally met my match on a 7th grade math test.
What came of this : About time, really. Mary Frick aced
the
ace. Pretty cool.
Where : Corning Free Academy Middle School, Corning, NY
Who : Miss Bihuniak (Karen Carpenter),
Patricia
(Patti) Carpenter,
Richard
Carpenter, my younger sister Robin Downing, my mom and dad, Paul
Williams, Max Baer Jr., Cubby O'Brien,
Rod Temperton (phone), John "Jack" Heib, Ed Mishrell & Lois, Marcel
Marceau, Buddy Ebsen,
Phil &
'Itchie' Ramone & Itchie's dog, Olivia Newton - John, Dionne
Warwick, Mrs. Woeppel, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Sir Nicholas
Boehr (Born?), You (the reader) & others too
I. Introduction
What happened : Well, I
forgot about a lot of this stuff until around
May 28, 2019 (Questions 543, 544, and 545 on the html
page). What brought my memories back was that I drive a
school bus and the radio stations play a lot of recent music with a lot
of profanity and adult content and such. So I got to thinking
about trying to make up a music CD of stuff without the profanity and
such, but also with real singing too (not this off key junk of most
recent singers). The third song on the CD I came up with was
"Sing" by the Carpenters. You know, a nice kids' song that is
about singing. After doing this, all of a sudden I remembered
stuff about 8th grade and my homeroom and english teacher. And so
the story goes... (Note,
last edit was January 30, 2021)...
II. It is written.
Sloppy writed. But written none the less
A note to english majors
and such... Yes, I am well aware of
paragraphing structures and all that as Karen was my 8th grade english
teacher, however, as this is a real life accounting of events and
thoughts and such, rules needed to be broken to keep this documentary
from becoming retarded because of outdated rules and such. Yes,
retarded. Yes, I could add in sub topics and such and then break
up the paragraphing, but when I did that (and yes I tried it, but...)
it became very disjuncted and more difficult for a reader (I need to
read this too you know) to follow and understand in all honesty.
Because of the variety of things covered, breaking this up into smaller
sub topics and paragraphings and such breaks the thought process and
the reader is left trying to figure out which might be relating to
what. Yes, very confusing. Try breaking this up by
'accepted english grammar and paragraphing practices' yourself; you'll
see. Each paragraph is a separate event or a separate
thought. Break up the paragraph and you break up the thought or
the event and things get confusing. I am not looking to baffle
people with nonsense. So I broke some rules, big deal. It
ain't the first time that I've felt that I had to ace (ace = go beyond
what is thought to be possible) something to get something done
properly. Seriously.
III. About Karen
About Karen, herself.
Actually Karen was a
very down to
earth person and enjoyed it when people did not think of her as a
celebrity or pop star or such. Karen liked being just a regular
person. When I first met Karen, she was my english teacher, Miss
Bihuniak, and I did not know she was Karen Carpenter. Some things
happened and she "spilled the beans" to me after about a month and a
half to two months. In all honesty, Karen's 'celebrity' status or
such
was no big deal to me. I never really thought of her as such
because
her and I had such great times together, I just enjoyed being around
her, whoever she was. And she had some great times around me as
well.
We always enjoyed meeting lots of people and just talking about
whatever without the others knowing that she was Karen Carpenter.
A
lot of people just knew her as Karen, the sweetheart that seemed to
care about everyone. But Karen worried about being mobbed and
such
because Karen liked talking to people as being a person and not some
big celebrity or such. And those that
thought of her as a celebrity tried to make a
big fuss about it, and Karen was not one to like being the center of
attention. Karen never felt 'attention starved' or such. Karen
also noticed that most people that
thought of her as a big celebrity usually didn't say too much when
around her but would be talking up a storm to other people that they
knew her or met her. Karen was always a very caring person and
always
tried to include as many people as possible. When Karen was
younger,
Karen had reddish colored eyes and hair and some of the other kids
would pick on
her and call her "Evil Karen" and such. Karen also had a lot of
freckles too and would get called "Freckle Face" when she was younger
as well. Karen never forgot how it
felt
to feel excluded and picked on which is why she always tried to make
everyone feel at home and included whenever possible. Of course
being
on the road and touring did not leave much time for socializing and
such. Karen always tried to do the best she could in the time she
had. Karen loved seeing people smiling and
being happy. Karen
seeing people being happy made Karen feel happy herself. We can't
all
be happy all of the time, but we can try.
And really, which is more fun, joking
around or being serious? Seriously having fun? Is that
possible? And, oh, what times we had...
IV. In the beginning.
Getting to know you and me
I did not know who she was
at first, but Miss Bihuniak was my homeroom
as well as my last (8th) period english teacher in eighth grade.
I used
to come in early to school every day because I always tried to do my
homework in homeroom. Miss Bihuniak would be there and I would
come in and start doing my homework and she would sit there and drink
her morning tea ([I believe chamomile] tea with lemon and honey because
she said it helped
soothe her throat from all of the talking that she did during the
day. Karen also usually drank coffee from a
tea cup and tea from
a coffee mug. As Karen would say, "I like doing something
different"). I was usually the first kid in
school and I would usually
go to my locker and grab my books that had homework
and do that in homeroom. Early on in the year, Miss Bihuniak
asked why I didn't do my homework at home. I just told her, "I
like the challenge of trying to do all this stuff in a hurry instead of
taking it home. I only have a half hour or so in homeroom.
I have all night at home." Or something like that. She said
something like, "That explains it. I like challenges too.
Does it bother you if I talk while you work?" And I was like,
"No, not at all. I can do both. Is there anything special
you are thinking about?" And she was like, "I grew up out west
and I am kind of new to the area. I have some relatives here, but
I still feel kind of lost at times. Is it alright if I ask you
questions and stuff?" I was like "Sure, anytime, anything.
Feel free anytime." This was like in the first week of
school. And at times we would talk about all kinds of stuff like
music, poetry, books, food, school, ideas, whatever. She asked me
what music I liked and I said the Beatles and she was like "Me too when
I was younger.". My favorite was Paul, and I am pretty sure she
said her favorite was Ringo. I told her that my mother liked
the Carpenters, my father liked the Beach Boys and played drums in a
country band, and my
younger sister liked the Osmonds, especially Donny. She said her
favorite color was burgundy (dark red) and black
(and note, I definitely remember Karen talking about this
and Karen saying something like, "Shh, don't tell anyone, but most
people think I like bright red like Mickey Mouse but I actually like
that deep red
burgundy color." And I think I said something like, "You mean
like
kidney bean red". And I think she was like, "Yeah. Kind
of. But most
people have got me something with bright red and I have grown kind of
fond of that color too so I guess it really doesn't matter").
I told her my
favorite
color used to
be silver and black because I liked the contrast, but I changed to
clear as my favorite color now. Karen, always wanting to be
different, decided to change her favorite color too and changed to red
and black and yellow. And I asked Karen, “did you catch
jaundice?” And Karen was like, “Yeah, are my eyes still
yellow?” And I was like, “I think they cleared up but I can’t
really tell for sure, there’s too many stars in the way. You’ll
probably have to ask someone else.” And
Karen was like, "Actually, yellow is the going bananas color and you've
got me going bonkers lately." Karen's
favorite movie was "Gone with the Wind" and mine was "Blazing Saddles".
Stuff like
that mostly. She was just a very nice and down to earth person
and at times she felt kind of out of place as it was a new area to
her. She also liked having someone that wasn't family to just
talk to as well. Families always seem to say the same things, the
same way, and it is nice to get a different perspective
sometimes. She also told me that at the
ripe old age of 28 that she ran
away from home and didn't tell her family where she was, but she knew
her family would track her down eventually.
It is actually a small and very close family and Karen told
me, "I heard from my cousins that my family has already put out an all
points bulletin on me so it is only a matter of time before they find
me here. I'm having personal problems so I am just looking to do
something different and see if I can get myself back on track
again. I
know my family cares about me and I care about them too. I sent a
few
messages back letting them know I am all right through the family
grapevine, but I know with the problems I've had that my family is very
concerned about me and will want to make sure that I am all
right.
It's OK if they find me. Actually I was looking to teach grammar
school kids but this was what they had so I took it. I'm not sure
if
I'm up for dealing with teenagers but it seems to be going all right so
far." And I was like, "I'm glad you're here and I hope things
work out
for you. Feel free to talk about anything, anytime. And
yeah,
teenagers don't really have much experience but start thinking they
know it all. I understand where you are coming from on
that. I'm
surrounded by teenagers myself and I know what a handful they can
be."
And we both laughed. And then I said, "My
dad works as a machinist for Corning Glass and my mom works as a lunch
monitor over at Kent Phillips school. My
mom is a Leo and my dad is a Taurus
and so they both are really stubborn and argue a lot. I have a
younger sister that is a Taurus too. I'm a Sagittarius so I'm the
little thinker of the family or is that little stinker, I keep
forgetting.
Most of the time I either go outside or sit in my room just to get away
from all the yelling and such. My parents smoke too which is a
disgusting habit." My teacher was like, "My
dad is a handyman, you know, jack
of all trades and master of none. He's a sweetheart though and
has a
heart of gold. My dad has a good reputation in the area because
he
always stands behind his work. My mom is a homemaker and is a
little different. My mom can't stand dirt. I've caught my
mom
cleaning the neighbor's windows because she didn't want to see any
dirt. I know it sounds kind of weird, but it's kind of funny too
watching my mom clean the neighbor's windows. My dad's
speech is kind of slow so he doesn't usually talk too much. I
think it
may be because my dad was born over in China but I'm not sure. My
mom
will talk your ear off if you get her going. My mom loves to talk
about problems and such and anytime I have a problem, she always has
time and we sit and talk at the kitchen table."
My teacher just said
that
things were not going well for her and that she just needed to get away
and do something different. Kind of a mid life crisis type
thing. It
wasn't her family being mean or anything like that because they weren't
mean or such, but she needed to find herself again and she knew she
couldn't find herself in the same place with the same people doing the
same things over and over again. My teacher also mentioned that
she had been sleepwalking and it had her kind of worried. So she
ran away from home and
became
a school teacher. She also told me that
she had to pull quite a
few strings to get her job as a teacher at the last minute.
Around mid to late October Karen told me the rest of the story on how
she came to live with her step cousin Wendy in Corning, New York.
On September 3, 1978 after a Las Vegas show Richard just said, “I quit”
and Karen asked him, “Are you sure?” and Richard said, “Yes”. So
Karen got a hold of her step cousin Wendy and I believe on September 4
or 5, 1978 Karen moved in with her step cousin Wendy. I know that
Karen was approved by the school board as a teacher on September 5,
1978 which was the day before school started on September 6,
1978. The school board was hesitant to hire Karen not because of
her qualifications (having a high school diploma) but because Karen had
a slight drawl in her voice. After hearing that, the 8th grade
science teacher, Max Baer Jr. stood up to the school board and said
that if they didn’t hire her that they would need to look for a science
teacher as well. For some odd reason, Max Baer Jr. has a goofy
sounding voice just like the Jethro Bodine character on the Beverly
Hillbillies show. The school board hired Karen (under the alias
she used with a high school diploma as Karen had college under her
name, but using her own name would bring up that ‘celebrity’ status and
Karen did not want preferential treatment because she was a celebrity
and she also didn’t want publicity as Karen was looking to get away
from the limelight for a while and try to figure this anorexia and
arrhythmia stuff out). So needless to say, Karen was hired as an
8th grade english teacher on September 5, 1978 the day before school
started. Karen and I talked about a lot of stuff before I knew
she was the actual Karen Carpenter in mid October 1978. The other
part, I was a Beatles fan really and my mom was the Carpenters
fan. I knew a little bit of stuff, but I really didn’t know that
much about Karen personally except from what she told me. But it
was kind of obvious after Karen told me that she was Karen Carpenter
and then all these other people started showing up like Paul Williams
and on and on.
Karen and I met on Wednesday
September 6, 1978 and Karen and I both agreed to the rule of not
physically touching each other after Karen had said something like,
"you can give me a hug if you like? I don't bite." and my saying
something like, "I would love to, but you know how some people talk and
it probably wouldn't be a good idea with me being jailbait and all
that. Corning is a small area so why give gossipers more to talk
about?" or something like that on I believe Friday September 8, 1978
for a reference here and it was originally my rule suggestion as a
precaution because of the 'jailbait' issue and being in a 'small town
where people like to gossip and spread rumors' for another
reference as on September 8, 1978 I knew Karen as a teacher and not as
a celebrity or such at that time. And as a teacher... no physical
contact between us to be on the safe side as people like to gossip and
accuse in a small area and Karen had told me that it was her first time
teaching and that she was new to the area.
I did not know about the celebrity part until roughly
mid October 1978 and the celebrity part was just an added reason as
Karen being a celebrity would have made an even bigger mess than just
her being a teacher. And yes, Karen used an alias too which was
another problem publicity-wise.
V. Karen's teaching
voice
Karen actually taught using
what she called 'my
Marlene
Dietrich' voice. That low 'basement' voice she had. Until
after the
Paul Williams meeting and our 'heart to heart' talk, Karen used only
that voice with me. Afterwards, Karen started talking to me in
her normal voice when others weren't around.
VI. Night lights and
diaries
We talked about a lot of
different stuff like she had a night light
because sometimes she would just get up in the middle of the night and
walk around if she was feeling restless. With the night light,
she didn't need to turn on the light. I told her that my sister
had a night light because she was afraid of monsters under the
bed. I said that I didn't use a night light myself, but a night
light wouldn't really bother me. And that seemed about the only
thing in all the talks we had that we didn't have in common with each
other. Well, that and she kept a diary. Several times she
would say, "hold on a minute, I'm writing stuff in my diary."
Once she even said, "I'm writing some really good stuff about you, do
you want to read it?" And I was like, "Not really. We
pretty much know so much about each other that it is kind of nice
having a secret once in a while." And she was like, "Fair
enough." And one time she asked, "Do you keep a diary?" And
I was like, "No, that's girl's stuff. My sister keeps a diary and
pretty much all she writes in it is I love Donny Osmond." And she
was like, "You don't read your sister's diary do you?" And I was
like, "No, I see her write I love Donny Osmond all over it and that's
personal stuff anyway which I really don't want to know. I'm a
guy and I'm not really interested in her girl stuff." And she
said, "That's good that you respect her privacy. She probably has
some personal things written in there that she doesn't want you to see
or know." And then she was like, "I keep a diary because I can
look back at my diary and see what happened and when and what I was
thinking at the time. And it is nice sometimes to look back at
when I was younger and remember things that happened that I forget
about. My hopes and dreams and that kind of stuff too. I
try to at least write a little something in my diary every day. I
guess guys call them journals, but it is the same thing really.
You ought to try it." And I was like, "I have a photographic type
memory so I don't really do a diary. I did it for a short while
when I was little, but it got boring for me very fast. I do
things every day, but I don't really consider myself to be a writer and
I would rather be doing stuff than writing about it." And she was
like, "Actually, you are a good writer. Your papers are usually
the first ones I look for when I am correcting stuff because your
writing is usually very thoughtful and fun to read. And that's
also kind of my point. I do stuff every day too like you, but I
feel by writing about it, I can remember it better if I need a
reference later on. Stuff like who I talked to, where I was, what
happened, what I was thinking. It's kind of my life's
encyclopedia set. My reference book. Really, you should try
it. I have a feeling you have a lot more to write about than you
realize." And then she looked at me again and said, "I can see
this is falling on deaf ears with you. But also I can see a time
down the road when you are going to say you wish you had listened to me
when you are trying to remember stuff that you could have very easily
have written down after it happened, but you didn't because you thought
it was a girl thing. It isn't. Ernest Hemingway kept a
diary and most great authors kept a diary too, excuse me, journal, same
thing. But anyway, I am not going to keep harping on you about
this because I know you aren't really listening anyway. I have
said my piece." And truthfully, we were both right. I do
have a pretty good photographic memory, but still, it probably would
have been even better if I had written this stuff down when it happened
to be more accurate. We are both correct, but, yes, I agree,
Karen, my eighth grade english and homeroom teacher, is definitely more
correct. Thanks Karen, Honey, I guess I am still learning from
you even though you are not around to teach me anymore in 2019.
And a note about Karen's diaries. I know I was mentioned
frequently from September 1978 until. Karen had an old boyfriend
named
John Adrian, but John was a citizen of the UK and Karen was a USAn
citizen. John and Karen broke it off way back when and John
married
someone else. John was not wishing to be a USAn citizen and Karen
was
not wishing to live in the UK. Karen's diary references starting
September 1978 and later for 'Adrian', 'Ace', 'Darling', and possibly
'Smart Ass' are for a guy named Adrian Clair Downing, III who is the
guy writing this page that you are currently reading. Also, if I
remember right, Karen told me something like, "After I married Tom I
stopped keeping a diary for a while because I really didn't have much
privacy around him and I was worried about him going through my diaries
so I really stopped doing a diary as I couldn't write what I wanted to
write anymore" or something like that.
VII. Arrhythmia, signs,
the
unexplained,
past lives intro, Kristi Lynn, and baseball
Before I knew she was Karen
Carpenter and a little while before our
past lives talk, Karen had mentioned to me that doctors had diagnosed
her with arrhythmia. Karen also told me that the arrhythmia
diagnosis was the reason why she would exercise and check her heart
rate (pulse) at times on her wrist or her neck. Exercising puts
on muscle which muscle makes it difficult to lose weight. Karen
knew that very well. Karen's exercising was not a side affect of
anorexia. Karen was honestly not trying to lose weight by
exercising, but was making sure that her heart rate did not slow too
much because of arrhythmia and the possibility of her heart
stopping. Karen was very adamant about not having a pacemaker or
any type of machine keeping her alive. So Karen exercised.
Arrhythmia is the medical term for a person
that has a heart beat that is not always steady. An irregular
heart beat. I had told Karen also that my mother had the same
diagnosis of arrhythmia as well. My mother
never went on
a diet nor had anorexia and was
native american, 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighed around 103 to 104
pounds.
My mother weighed around 124 pounds when she had her first mini stroke
in 1995. My mother had slowly started
gaining weight since around
late 1993 and had her mini stroke around September 1995 if I remember
right. The reason why the heart
does not beat
regularly is not usually a problem with the heart itself, but a problem
with either the brain stem which is what controls involuntary
activities in the body, or with the nerves that go from the brain stem
to the heart (cardiac [heart] in the case of arrhythmia or pulmonary in
the case
of lungs). And after mid October when I found out who she was
later on, we discussed the nerve issue and we kind of wondered if maybe
the electronic pulses from the microphones and such may be possibly
causing interference with Karen's nerves. But it seemed if that
were a problem, Karen would have had a lot more problems than just a
couple times. So we kind of ruled out the interference
issue. The microphones and amplifiers and such did not seem to be
causing any problems. A person with arrhythmia will have a stroke
at some
point in their lives unless the brain stem or the nerves between the
brain stem and the heart repair themselves. My mother had a non
fatal stroke in 1995 and several more in recent years but my mother is
still alive. I honestly feel that Karen died on February 4, 1983
from a stroke but maybe not. I feel it is
always best to keep an open mind as you never know. Physical
heart problems usually have signs of
chest pains and numbness and such. Karen did not have these
symptoms that I have ever been aware of, however, I do know that Karen
did have arrhythmia. I also do appreciate many people drawing
awareness to anorexia nervosa and its side effects and such. It
has helped many people realize that it can be a serious problem and
that 'losing weight' can be a dangerous, if not deadly, situation with
some people. Karen being anorectic was not a good thing, however,
it appears that Karen had actually got passed the anorexia as she had
the same weight of 108 pounds for at least 4 months before she passed
away. The suddenness and lack of warning in Karen's death
honestly
points to arrhythmia and a stroke. And at the time, doctors had
started to develop a thing known as a pacemaker which would help the
heart beat at a more normal rate. Karen did not want to be kept
alive by a machine. That was that. As
Karen would say about herself, "No artificial
ingredients or preservatives, just little old me.
(And depending on person talking to) The way God (or nature if non
Christian) intended me to be." And as Karen
would say, "If God wants me, He can take me."
Karen would
use a
whitening tray at times to whiten her teeth. And of course Karen
there
with her mouth full of a whitening tray would lead me to start asking
Karen stupid questions to get her to talk with the tray in her
mouth.
Stuff like, "Does that taste good?", "How long has it been anyway?",
"So what's up for today?", "Are you tired of me asking you stupid
questions when I know you can't talk with your mouth full?".
Stuff
like that.
Karen always believed in signs from God
and
praying. Karen
believed that if you asked about things that a sign would be given to
point you in the direction you needed to go.
Well, actually Karen believed in three signs after the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Ghost. And remember too,
we all make mistakes and we
don't always read signs properly, be careful what you wish and pray
for, and that God has
a sense of humor too so try not to take things
too seriously.
Karen was also a Methodist
(Christian).
Karen did not
believe in bigamy or polygamy so any rumor about Karen being Mormon or
such is untrue. Karen was also not one for a rigid structure like
a
Catholic or such. The Church I was asked not to attend Sunday
School
any more was Episcopal for a reference here.
We also talked about Ouija and horoscopes and that kind of
stuff
too. Neither one of us really believed that stuff, but still it
was something different to think and talk about. She held her
hand up and said, "See, my life line is really short and just barely
makes it to my thumb. It is what it is." And I held my hand
up and I was like, "My life line goes to about the bottom of my
thumb. It is what it is too." She also mentioned that she
was a Pisces and I was a Sagittarius, water and fire. Like said,
we didn't really believe in that stuff. Either of us. We
rather liked to just look through all of the horoscopes for ideas
regardless of the zodiac sign and all of that. There is a lot of
great advice there as far as relationships and such. As far as
Sagittarius and Pisces being fire and water, um, the zodiac guy never
met Karen and me for sure. As far as a Ouija board, I actually
can't remember on that. It was popular at the time, that is about
all I remember about it. I don't think either of us tried it, but
I can't remember for sure. Neither of us was into witchcraft or
the dark arts and that kind of stuff. The Magic 8 Ball stuff was
funny because you could ask the same question three times in a row and
get three different answers. Definitely magic in that one for
someone's bank account.
Karen did talk
about having regressive hypnotism done
but she didn't talk about it much to people. Apparently, she was
called Edna in a past life and was Methuselah's mother. She said
it made her feel old which is why she didn't talk to people about it
much. I think she said she had a great grandmother named Edna
too, but her great grandmother didn't have a boy named
Methuselah.
Karen apparently spoke in Aramaic when she talked about Enoch, Edna,
and Methuselah as well as Gainad too. Karen said that Enoch was
pronounced Ē nō ch (long
e, long o, not a k but a ch sound as in chip as Karen said that one
time). Karen joked too and said that her
last words as Edna were, "glub, glub, glub." Karen
also talked about Enoch's father Yared (yar ed) being the one to name
Methuselah as that would have been the name for Enoch's brother,
but Yared did not have another son. Methuselah was the one who
named his sister Eliza or Elizabeth (and after Enoch and Edna named
Gainad, could you blame Methuselah for not wanting Enoch and Edna to
give a child another corny type name?). The bloodline was Yared,
Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech (lam ech, ch as in chips), and Noah (No a and
the a as in cat, so not no uh, but no a). Also,
apparently, Karen was known as Yahtsodharai and had a son named Rahula
that was the son of Buddha. According to His Holiness, the 14th
Dalai
Lama, I was the 'Enlightened One' Buddha as His Holiness was only able
to
see me through Karen by having Karen, Yahtsodharai,
see me as having dirt on my face and then Karen using her thumb to wipe
that dirt off. It was a very short time, but in that short time,
His
Holiness was able to see inside me as I was directly blocked from His
Holiness in 1979. Karen also mentioned
Muhammad and Khadijah.
Of course Karen and
I talked about naming kids and of course
Adrian IV for a boy and Karen Junior for a girl (but
Karen asked
what my sister's name was and I said Robin Lynn, and Karen said that
was kind of ominous because her brother's name was Richard Lynn, and
Karen thought that two Karens running around would get confusing so
Karen Lynn was out. And Karen was not
going to name her daughter
Junior. During school that day I made it a point to stop by her
classroom and poke my head inside the door and I would say, "Junior,
Junior, Junior" and Karen would kind of smile and then look down at her
steno pad. Like I told Karen, "Junior is a nice tomboy
name. She'll
like it." And Karen said, "I'm not calling my daughter
Junior." We thought of Roberta Lynn, but
we didn't
really like Roberta as a name [Roberta had 2 things going for it - Burt
Bacharach and starts with R]. Rhonda Lynn? Rikki
Lynn? Rita Lynn? Rachel Lynn? Racquel Lynn? We
couldn't really
think of a good
girl's name that began with R. Adriana, Adrienne, Claire, Clara,
nope [yes, even girls don't sound good with variations of my
name]. Olivia? Dionne? Stella? Scarlet?
Edna and Agnes
just sounded too
old.
Elizabeth and Mary were common like Karen. My mother's maiden
name was
Lee Ellen Bardo. Bridget was out too. Karen
made a rule that the name had to have three things in it related to
things like family, names, and stuff Karen loved. And
after about six pages of cross out names on a green steno pad, Karen
asked again about my mother's name, and I said, "Lee Ellen".
Karen
liked the name Christie
because of Christie Lee Brinkley [Billy Joel's band worked on
Karen's
solo album] and also Kristy McNichol [Christina
Ann McNichol, which Ann
and Lee were 'signs' as well] was on the
1977 and 1978 Christmas specials. So
Karen
thought of
spelling it Kristi instead of Kristy
or Christy or Christie because Karen realized that many girl's names
ended in y and ending in i was a bit different and distinctive, plus
Kris Kringle with the K's [Kris boy, Kristi
girl] and Christmas because Karen loved
Christmas and Karen was also a "tea totaller" at
the time as well, so ti [tea] hit the spot too, and
Karen was proud to be a Christian so Kristi Lynn for a girl after at
least 6 to 8 hours of
Karen thinking hard about it. Karen needed three things for the
name and Kristi had way more than three. We were both surprised
that
smoke
hadn't
come out of Karen's ears that day so I checked her ears with a
flashlight just to be sure. No smoke or flames, and the
flashlight didn't shine through to the other side so all was good.
Honestly, someone at the school had ear mites and we were
asked to check each other's ears just in case. I liked my stories
better.),
but then I asked the question, "If we could name
the kids anything we wanted, what would we name them?" After
thinking for about ten seconds, I
said Fuzz
Nuts
for a second boy and Karen said Gitchy Goo for a second girl in honor
of naming
Methuselah's brother Gainad for Fuzz Nuts (nad is spanish for testicle,
nuts) and Karen loved to play 'Gitchy Goo' with babies because "babies
are so cute when they giggle". Yes, we
were joking about the
second names which was why it didn't take us
long at all.
I called Karen "Yaz" (because of
Yahtsodharai mainly but also Carl Yastrzemski)
for a little while after this and we
talked about baseball a bit here and there. She said she liked
baseball better than softball because the ball was a lot easier to
handle. We both agreed that we would rather play baseball than
watch it. We could still watch it, but we weren't really much for
sitting still too long. We would both get kind of restless if we
sat too long. I know we were in 'Yankee territory' but Karen
liked the California Angels and I liked the Oakland A's. The
California Angels had Nolan Ryan and Frank Tanana at the time in 1978
and Karen loved to pitch. After baseball season started and Nolan
Ryan got traitored, I mean traded to the Houston Astros (or was that
the Houston A**holes if you said it with your teeth closed while trying
to hold your breath), Karen switched to the New York Yankees with Billy
Martin and team captain Thurman Munson. As baseball season
approached, April 1979, Karen’s favorite player was Thurman Munson as
he wasn’t one to showboat. Steady as a rock. The same as
Johnny Bench and Johnny could hold five baseballs in one hand
too. Joe Morgan and his pump in the batter's box. Karen
also liked watching Pete Rose (Charlie Hustle) as she liked his
nickname but also his work ethic of hustle on and off the field.
Karen's favorite manager was Billy Martin because as people knew, Billy
was a bit "different” and Karen liked being different too. I
liked Reggie Jackson but Karen wasn’t too fond of him as she felt he
showboated too much. Karen also mentioned that when they first
moved out to California and because Karen liked to play baseball and
she was a little over 4 foot tall and about 120 pounds or so, the other
kids came up with a nickname of 'Pudge' for her around 1963. It
wasn't meant to be mean or make fun of her or anything as Carlton Fisk
had that nickname too (Karen had it first, copy cat) and Karen kind of
liked that nickname as it was a baseball nickname (but Karen was a
pitcher and not a catcher). Pudge wasn't
"Richard's little sister" any more. And
since Pudge was a tomboy and played baseball with the
cute baseball jocks, some of the girls would ask Karen to try and fix
them up with the baseball guys. After a
little while, Karen learned to play 'matchmaker' in high school.
VIII. Past lives
explained, getting close to you
(Written September 7, 2019)
As far as past lives,
this gets
interesting as far as Karen and I. Through the past regressive
hypnotherapy that Karen had, Karen was able to remember in the present
what happened after the therapy. Karen could remember the past
lives
in her current life, but only the parts that came up during
hypnotherapy, not the whole life itself. And it was kind of
confusing
to Karen because many of these memories were in other languages,
but she could repeat what was there even though she didn't understand
what she was saying.
To
explain...
Karen's lives.
Edna (ed nuh). Aramaic.
Rachel (Ray chell) Hebrew.
Tsoporo (tsoap poar oa). Midian Hebrew.
Delilah (de lile uh) Hebrew.
Mekada (meh kah duh), Queen of Sheba. Hebrew
dialect.
Yahtsodharai (yaht sod har ay). Chinese
dialect.
Mary Magdala (mayree mag duh luh). Hebrew.
Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (kuh dee j[long j sound, zh?]ah bint
koo way
lid). Arabic.
A black queen with
a nice butt, Mrs Shaka Zulu? Swahili.
Barbara Allen. English.
Karen Anne
Carpenter. English.
Which correspond with...
Enoch (ee noa ch)
Jacob (jay kub)
Moses (moa ziss) Egyptian. Mosha (moa shuh) Hebrew
Samson (sam sun)
Solomon (sol oa mun)
Siddhartha Gautama [Buddha] (Sid hart ha gow tah mah)
Ieshua [Jesus] (yehshuah)
Abu al Qasim Muhammad bin Abdallah bin Abd al Mutalib bin
Hashim (ahboo al kayseem moo hom id bin abdahlah bin abd al mootaleeb
bin hayseem)
A black king with a nice butt, Shaka
Zulu?
Swahili.
Nothing that I am aware of? American Civil War.
Adrian Clair Downing III. English.
And for those that wonder (myself included),
there can be talk
of the prophet Isaiah which would fit between Mekada and Yahtsodharai
or Solomon and Buddha in the timelines. Isaiah did have a wife
and
children, however, I do not remember Isaiah being brought up by Karen
during this. As such, I know about the speculations and like
that, but
I can not say a definite yes or no about this.
For the Shaka Zulu reference, the sound tsulu was in the past life
vision. There were several tongue clicks and such and it was a
preparing for war scene but not much more than the tsulu
reference. Senzangakhona kaJama (me) did not come up directly nor
did Nandi kaBhebhe eLangeni (Karen) that I am aware of, but it would
most likely be these two that were the ‘couple with nice butts’
referenced above. No way to be positive though.
At the time, I did not know
she was Karen Carpenter. At the time,
she
was my eighth grade teacher, Miss Bihuniak. Anyway, we would sing
songs together here and there and this one day I sang "Close To You" to
her with slightly altered lyrics. I altered "All the girls in
town" to
"All the guys in town" and "blue eyes" to "brown eyes" and at the end
Karen was like, "I noticed you looked at my eyes before singing."
And
I was like, "Yeah, your eyes are kind of a reddish brown but that is
kind of a mouthful so I just shortened it to brown." And Karen
was
like, "As you notice, my eyes change color a little bit and go from a
milk chocolate to a deep red brown. That song means a lot to me,
thank you for singing it to
me."
And then Karen continued, "I was born with red eyes and platinum hair
and people thought I was going to be an albino but my eyes got darker
as I got older. Some of the kids used to call me Evil Karen
because my
eyes were reddish color when I was younger. As I got older my eye
color got darker and I didn't get picked on as much." And I was
like,
"When I was born I had slate gray eyes and platinum hair too and people
thought I might be albino as well, but my eyes got a light blue color
as I got older with a little bit of yellow here and there. I
didn't
get picked on though." And she was like, "Can you keep a
secret?" And
I was like, "Sure, like I said in the beginning, feel free to talk
about anything, anytime." And Karen was like, "I was having
problems
with eating so a hypnotherapist tried regressive therapy on me to see
what might be causing my problems." And I was like, "Sounds
interesting. I can keep secrets. Outside you, I really
don't talk
much to people anyway. Just hi here and there and idle chit
chat." And
Karen was like,
"Do you promise not to tell?" And I was like, "I know we play
jokes on
each other and such, but honest, I promise I won't tell anyone."
And
then Karen was like, "I'll know if you tell anyone and you'll regret if
you ever tell anyone about this, trust me. But they did what they
call
past regressive hypnotherapy on me to see if something in my past may
be causing me to keep trying to lose weight. They looked at my
past
and then the hypnotherapist actually went back further by
accident.
The weird part is that I actually remember what the hypnotherapist did
and I still remember the stuff that came up. There are a couple
that I
haven't been able to figure out, but the really weird part is that I
remember the stuff as it was. In the couple I haven't been able
to
figure out, I apparently was a girl (either 13 or 16 years old?) and I
was raped and killed by a Union soldier during the American Civil
War. The
other seems to be about being a black woman and a black man speaking an
african dialect of sorts with tongue clicks and such but I can't really
make it out too well. It's kind of fuzzy," And I
was like, "That rape one must be tough to think about and is probably
blocked somewhat. I actually see the black
man and woman one with the warriors with shields
and spears and such looking like they are preparing for war, but like
you said, it
is a bit fuzzy and nothing really stands out except there is a lot of
red color and we have nice
butts as black people."
She was like, "I agree on the nice butts on that one. I like
butts too. I actually got a name and the
story
checks out on the rape one. [and then
Karen looks at me kind of funny and then says] It was you. You
raped me." And then I said, "I wasn't around during the Civil
War, but I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Are you sure it was
me?" And Karen was like, "He looks exactly like you but it could
be a coincidence, but he would have to be your exact double. I've
heard that we all have someone that looks exactly like us so maybe that
was him. Your exact double. He doesn't sound like
you." And I was like, "That's a relief. Thanks. I'll
try to be more careful and I definitely know that I couldn't ever hurt
let alone rape you, so I'm pretty sure that was someone else."
And Karen continued, "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that
but watch it. I've got my evil eye on you. Her name was
Barbara Allen
and I found out where she was buried (I think Karen said Chattanooga
but not sure) and I visited her grave and left
flowers. Her grave seemed very lonely and abandoned and I kind of
got
chills when I was there. But
it is tough
to remember so I try
not
to think about that one if I can help it." And to note here,
later on
after I knew it was Karen, we both kind of wondered if maybe Karen was
a singer this time after we got to thinking that maybe that old song,
"Barbara Allen" or "Barb'ry Allen" may have been written about this
past life of Karen's, but maybe not. But that was later on after
mid
October. And I was like, "I can
imagine." And then she was like, "The rest is kind of
weird. I
remember some details in other languages and definitely some names
too. Promise you won't tell or make fun of me?" And I was
like, "I
might still pick on you about other stuff, but I promise I won't bring
this stuff up with anyone else except you." And she was like,
"Fair
enough. I'll trust you. Like I said, the hypnotherapist
went back too
far and I started talking in odd languages. The hypnotherapist
didn't
speak the other languages, but he recognized the stuff I was talking
about and a few names and such. But anyway, after the therapy
sessions, I remember the memories that I talked about to the
hypnotherapist. How religious are you Ace?" I was like,
"Well,
honestly, they kicked me out of Sunday School at Church when I was 9 if
that helps." And she was like, "OK, well one of my memories is
about
Mary Magdala. I know people say Magdalene, but Magdala.
Mary spoke hebrew so I don't really know what she
actually said, but I can kind of figure it out. Mary
definitely wasn't a prostitute. [And Richard
Carpenter please try to ignore what is written here between the
brackets and kind of grayed out, Karen figured you would know who this
was and get mad at him for it, so Karen kept this secret as far as I
know because in a way, Karen felt kind of flattered about being
considered sexy enough to get the offer... But then Karen told me
that
one of Richard's friends at college asked Karen if she would be
interested in making some money. All that Karen had to do was
show up
at a hotel room and have sex with a guy and Karen could keep the
money. Richard's friend gave Karen the hotel and room number but
Karen
couldn't go through with it. Karen said, "For all I know, that
guy
could be still waiting there for me but I just don't have it in my
heart to have sex with just anybody. I could never be a
prostitute."] Mary had
all of
these
different guys around her which I think were Jesus' apostles and it
appears Jesus had a problem and
approached Mary about it. Jesus' problem was that he was a bit
large
for most women to handle. I know what Jesus looked like
naked. Jesus
was hung like a horse, so to speak. I feel kind of naughty about
remembering it. I, Mary, called him Yeshua,
not
Jesus. We both took our robes off and when he tried to get on
top, I
squeezed around his sides with my legs and I rolled him over on the
ground and I got on top. We held each other's hands and I did all
the
work. He had green eyes and curly dirty blond hair. Oops,
I'm sorry,
was that too much information for you? Are you alright?"
And I was
like, "I'm fine. I forgot to tell you that I'm not a virgin
either.
Do you remember when you froze up in class because I had those wild
thoughts in my head? Well, I just saw what you saw just
now. He's
about 10 or so inches long and about an inch and a half to two inches
around and circumcised too. I think you or Mary or whatever made
the
right choice on that one. That one might have hurt a bit
otherwise.
I'll definitely keep my mouth shut on that one. I know the Church
would probably have you boiled in oil on that one if it became public
so to speak. Also, I can't tell, did he have an inny or an outy
belly button? I can't really tell because there's something in
the way [and I kind of giggled]." And Karen continued,
"Thanks. He definitely had an inny. I can tell. He
has a hairy belly but there's nothing sticking out outside you know
[and she giggles a little]. You see it too?" And I was
like, "Kind of I guess. He is kind of hairy there, not there, but
you know what I mean." And Karen said, "I know what you mean and
you're being naughty. Anyway, it seems that
the others
thought of me as his mistress or whatever and seemed to be jealous or
angry at me most of the time except his mom. It seems like we
spent a lot of time talking with one another and not just you
know. I'm not sure where Jesus came from
because his name is Yeshua and there's no J sound in it. Yeh shoo
uh, no J. Then I have this other
one where I am speaking aramaic and I'm with a guy named Enoch, long e
long o and ch as in chips, not E knock or whatever. But I had a
great
grandmother named Edna, but she didn't speak aramaic, nor do I.
Me and
Enoch had I think seven children with one of them named Methuselah and
another Gainad [and she laughed] and the others (and she said one of
the girls was either named Eliza or Elizabeth, but she named them
all. I just can't remember that part now). I think Enoch's
dad
Iared (Yar ed) named him Methuselah. I am apparently Methuselah's
mom
and I don't talk or think about it much because it makes me feel
old.
I kind of joke around and say my last words were glub, glub,
glub. I actually remember being swept away in a big wave of water
and being underwater for a while and then this hand reached in and
grabbed me and pulled me out of the water before I drowned. The
one that pulled me out looks exactly like you and sounds like you
too. After you pulled me out we both floated off into the clouds
and that was the last I remember on that. Thank you. But
it is kind of freaky me being Methuselah's mom a long time ago."
And I
was like, "Yeah, that sounds like something I would do at the last
minute. I'm still sorry about the rape one even though it
probably wasn't me. Do you forgive me?" And Karen said,
"I'm a Christian, of course I forgive you, but don't ever let it happen
again or else" and Karen kind of giggles and I
smile back and say, "Thanks.
I needed that. Definitely better than a V8 [hint, Karen used to
drink
a V8 juice once in a while and the commercial at the time was
"Thanks.
I could have had a V8" and the person slaps their head or something
like that] that stuff's yucky.
Well, I guess you're as old as you feel.
Being Methuselah's dad doesn't exactly make me feel like a spring
chicken myself." And then she
was
like, "I guess I was Moses' wife Tsoporo too. I remember seeing
us
sitting around a bunch of sheep. His name
was Moses in Egyptian and he was called Mosha in Hebrew and he didn't
stutter, but he had a lisp. My name started
with a
ts sound,
not an
s or z." And I was like, "Mothith with a lithp (lisp), like
thith."
And she was like, "You shouldn't make fun of people like that.
How
would you feel if someone made fun of you." And I was like,
"Actually,
I wasn't mocking, I was just kind of mimicking and besides I understand
because as you can see, four eyes are better than two if you can't see
too well." And she was like, "Exactly. You made your
point. There's a bunch more, and I think
we
got
time, but I'll try and hurry it up a bit, so... Apparently,
I was
also the Queen of Sheba (Be'er Sheba?, I think Karen actually said
"bear sh*t" and then I think she said, "I can see why they may want to
change that name in the Bible to Sheba instead of sh*t"), Mekada, and I
had a son,
Menelik (Men eh
lick), from Solomon. That one is a kind of hebrew dialect.
I seem to
remember taking the Ark of the Covenant to Ethiopia or such in a
caravan with me and
my son. I can see the area where the Ark
was placed, so I would know where it is if I was there. Then
there is another one where I was Delilah." And I was like, "Why
Delilah, why? I guess I need to stop cutting my hair then, that
or I
need to start singing Tom Jones songs" And Karen was like, "I
like
long hair but it can look kind of funny on some guys. You might
want
to keep yours short though just in case. Then
there is another one in chinese where I am Yahtsodharai
with a guy named Siddhartha Gautama. We had a son named
Rahula.
Apparently this guy is the one known as Buddha." And I was like,
"Sounds really interesting so far, there's more?" And she is
like,
"You were a bad boy on this next one. We're not turning Mormon
and
moving to Utah. I won't allow it. If you are going to be
with me, it
is going to be just you and me, understand?" And I was like,
"Indubitably or whatever that word is, I'm only a one woman man, but
what did I do this time?" And Karen was like, "Well, I was your
other
wife Rachel and you were a very naughty boy Jacob. Four
women. Shame
on you. You should be ashamed of yourself, but I guess it
couldn't be
helped. My father wouldn't let you marry me, so you were forced
to
marry my older sister. Then you cheated on my sister with two
other
women. What do you have to say for yourself? I thought
so. You men
are all alike. Then you finally settled
down after I finally told your
mom, Rebekkah, and she got a hold of you and straightened you right
out. Serves you right and don't you forget
it." And
Karen is
almost laughing and I was like, "I won't; I promise I won't forget
it.
What was I thinking. Imagine four women all asking do you love me
all
of the time. What in the blazes was I thinking? Good thing
I don't
remember it because that must have been horrible. I probably just
blocked that one out of my mind completely it was so bad. I
promise I
won't do that again to myself, er, um, I mean you." And Karen was
like, "I'm pretty sure you learned your lesson after that one.
Serves
you right too. You got what you deserved." And I was like,
"I'll say
and then some. That'll teach me." And then Karen continued,
"Well,
apparently I was the prophet Muhammad's first wife, Khadijah,
and I was a wealthy business woman too before I met him. Her last
name
was Koo way lid and I remember her last name because it sounds like
kool aid. We had
seven kids I believe but one or two died young. His name was [and
she read from a piece of paper] Abu al Qasim
Muhammad bin Abdallah bin Abd al Mutalib bin
Hashim which is a mouthful which was why I wrote it down."
And I was
like, "Abdullah. That's actually kind of cool. Don't worry,
I definitely
won't
tell. I probably won't remember half this stuff anyway. Any
more?"
And she was like, "I think that's about it. My eating problem
seems to
be from when I was growing up and I noticed that all the boys liked
girls that were skinny, so I picked up some bad habits to try and be
thinner. But I have big bones so it is kind of tough for me to
stay
slim looking. That and I felt awkward because I was a late
bloomer (note, Karen said she developed bosoms
about age 16 and a junior in high school at another time during a talk
about tissues of all things).
I also feel awkward because I feel
the need to stay skinny
to attract the right guy when he comes along, but when I'm skinny I
start feeling like guys are watching me more and I start feeling like
some guy is just going to rape me someday. It's a vicious
cycle. I've
never been raped or such. I just get these weird thoughts in my
head
at times about it. I don't know why I get
these weird thoughts, I just do."
And I was like, "You look great for being Methuselah's mom. I
know
it's not funny, but it's true. You would look great being
anyone's mom
really. You definitely don't look old enough to be a grandma
yet. I
probably ought to shut up before I put my foot in my mouth again.
Let's face it, we're both the types that show up on a blind date and
next thing you know the date has to go to the bathroom and never
returns. A nice personality doesn't go too far nowadays.
We definitely aren't going to win any beauty
pageants. But
then
too, you don't need to please everyone, you just need to find that one
special someone. I think we're both special in our own
ways." And
then she was like, "I've had that blind date thing happen a couple
times myself, both ways. You almost did put your foot in your
mouth, but
nice save. That beauty pageant comment is what saved you.
And please
don't put your foot in your mouth again like you did before. I
know
you were just trying to be funny, but that was disgusting.
Actually,
would you sing Close To You as a duet with
me?"
IX. The cactus
My teacher also had a
cactus on her desk. She grew up out west
and her cactus was her reminder of home. Mike Corcoran and I used
to take
the needles off the cactus and poke one another. After a little
while, her cactus was not doing so well. A cactus without needles
does not absorb water from the air very well as we found out.
X. Dreams come true?
I remember early on (about
the first or second
week of
school) that one time Miss Bihuniak had this big smile on her face and
said something like, "Am I the girl of your dreams?" And I
answered
back, "I honestly can't lie to you Miss Bihuniak. I think about
you
all the time, but I have honestly never had a dream about you. I
used
to have some pretty wild dreams and such until over this summer when I
had a weird dream where I fell off a plateau like in the Road Runner /
Wile E Coyote cartoons and I actually hit bottom. It was so cool
that I
replayed it in my sleep three times and then I had a thought in my
dream of 'I think you may have just had a heart attack and you better
wake yourself up'. So I woke myself up and kind of gave myself
CPR
just in case. But ever since then, once in a while I get a weird
tone
in my ear like in the ear test." And she said, "I think they call
that
tinnitus." And then I continued, "But anyway, I guess according
to
the
dream experts or whatever, it is supposed to mean that you can
accomplish whatever you set your mind to do. But after that
dream, I
haven't actually had a dream since." And she was like, "I heard
that
when you hit bottom you die." And I was like, "I heard that too,
but I
don't think it's true." She was like, "I thought it was weird too
because usually when I meet a guy that I like, I start getting dreams
about them, but I haven't dreamt about you yet. I still have
dreams
though." And I was like, "You are really more like a dream come
true,
maybe that's why." She was like, "I kind of feel the same way
about
you, like you are my dreams come true too." And we both locked
eyes in
a starry type gaze for a bit then I started feeling a little dizzy so I
sat down and said, "Sorry, I just got a little dizzy there and I had to
sit down." And she was like, "Me too, but I was already sitting
down.
Are you alright?" And I was like, "I never felt better. I
always feel
wonderful when I 'm around you for some reason. I don't usually
feel
dizzy though. This is a first for me." And she was like,
"I've had it
for a while myself. You start feeling like you are dizzy and
floating
on air. I think you caught the love bug." And I was like,
"I think
you're right. You've got it too?" And she was like, "I've
had it for
a while now. I was wondering when you were going to
notice." And I
was like, "I thought you were just being nice to me because I was a
kid." And she was like, "At first I was just being nice, but you
kind
of grew on me in a hurry. The way you always smile around
me. The
sound of your voice. I just feel so relaxed when I'm around
you. You
just have this calming effect on me like no matter what happens,
everything will be alright. I just couldn't help myself."
And I was
like, "You're a really nice person and I just can't help but be nice
around you. I like seeing you be happy because it makes me happy
too.
I just can't help myself either. I really like seeing you
smile." And
then she was like, "Me too." And then, "It's getting late, we
probably
ought to get going. I'll see you tomorrow." And then we
both got up
and we both left.
XI. Freckles
And then another time Karen
said this to me, "I know you fantasize
about me, but I have a lot more freckles than that. Could you
please add some more freckles? I almost feel like you are
fantasizing about someone else."
XII. Hidden but not for
long
There was also this one
time early on (probably in September) where I
was standing in front of my teacher who was sitting in her chair and
she had this sheepishly "I'm trying to hide something" look on her
face. I kind of looked at her and wondered, and then a musky
smell hit my nose and I figured it out. I smiled at her with a
big proud smile and she started smiling back. Then I pointed to
myself and she nodded her head yes. Then I kind of hugged myself
and she hugged herself too. Then I used my finger and drew a
heart on my chest [love] then I pointed at her [you] and then I held up
two fingers [too] and she did the same back. Then I kind of
walked back over to my chair and we both lovingly stared into each
other's eyes and had our arms on our desks kind
of
reaching towards each other for a bit until
someone else walked into the room. Oh well. If they hadn't
walked in, we probably still would have been staring into each other's
eyes forever if possible. So the first
time, we didn't actually say "I love you" to each other, we actually
mimed "love you too" to each other.
XIII. It's the thought
that counts
Around the second or third
week of classes, we both had an odd event
happen. I was looking at my teacher with my gazing eyes and I
just started thinking, wouldn't it be great if we could just run off to
the closet for a little bit and make out (foreplay). And an odd
thing
happened a short while after I was gazing into her eyes while she was
teaching class. After that short while, my teacher just paused in
class in the middle of her discussion and kind of mouthed the word yes
while she stood there and just froze up while staring back at me.
I looked away and down towards the ground and then I could hear her
say, "Where was I? Just a second". And then I kind of saw
her go to her desk and look at her daily note sheet. I could
still kind of see her looking at her sheet and the other kids in the
class were kind of snickering a little bit, but I still kept my head
down and kind of glanced up to see her looking and then she leaned over
towards me and asked, "where was I?" and I told her where she was in
the discussion. And then she was
like, "OK, got it." And then she continued her class
discussion. Of course after school, we talked. She was
like, "What was that? I know it isn't your fault, but all of a
sudden I just got some thoughts in my head after we made eye
contact. And thanks for looking away and reminding me where I
was, I just lost it there
because I felt you staring. And I know it wasn't one of those
undress me with your eyes type stares either. It felt like you
wanted me to meet you in the closet and make out with me. I could
feel you caressing every inch of me and it felt great. I was
enjoying every minute of it. And
then I could feel you trying to guide me to the closet and I just froze
up. It was really odd. I just can't explain it, but I felt
it." And I put my hands over my mouth and then my teacher's eyes
just got really wide and she said, "You were?" And I just shook
my head yes with my hands still over my mouth and then she put her
hands over her mouth too. I then said, "I just couldn't help it,
you were up there and those thoughts just came into my head. I
like a lot of foreplay and I just couldn't help it. It just
happened." She was like, "I know. I like a lot of foreplay
too. I couldn't help it either. I actually wanted to go
into the closet, but I froze up somehow." And then she said, "We
couldn't have gone in the closet anyway." And then she opened the
closet door and it had shelves inside the closet and there was no way
we could have fit in the closet as the shelves were full. And I
was
like, "I
don't think we want to go through that again. It was wonderful
and all, but the rest of the kids in the class would start talking if
they figured out we were staring at each other like that. When
you start teaching, I'll just stare down at your desk or the floor, and
then when I hear chalk on the chalk board, I will look up again.
When I see you put the chalk back in the tray, I will start looking
down again. I would rather look at your front, but if I am going
to memorize every inch of you, I should probably look at your caboose
once in a while too. You have a really nice caboose too, just as
a reference." And she was like, "Caboose? I'll go with that
I guess. I can think of a few other choice words people have used
over the years for it, but caboose wasn't one of them. I kind of
like it. Caboose it is." I was like, "Me too, it's nice and
shapely like the rest of you. Just enough in all the right places
without overdoing it." And she was like, "Everyone's a
critic. Presence by Led Zeppelin is a really good album. I
think you would enjoy it. The album cover has this obelisk on
it... (note here, I remember the Presence
album being mentioned
by Karen at one time, but I am not sure if she may have mentioned Led
Zeppelin IV [the Runes] at this time and maybe Presence at another time)
I haven't really noticed my caboose
lately for some reason I guess I have fallen a little behind on that,
but you have a nice caboose too you know." And she just gave me a
slight look and started to sip on her tea. And I was like, "I'll
try not to look directly at you while you're teaching. I don't
think we want this happening again too many times. The other kids
haven't figured it out yet. I think we'll be alright so long as
we don't stare at each other while you're teaching." So most of
my english classes, I remember my teacher talking about stuff while I
looked down at her desk or the floor (I sat in front in the middle,
right in front of her desk so I could see her without other kids
blocking the view.). There were about 4 or 5 times that we
accidently made eye contact, but it worked well for the most
part. My teacher also moved her tabletop book rack from her left
side of her desk towards the center to kind of help block mine and her
view a little bit too, just as a precaution. Her cactus got moved
to the left side instead of the center of her desk for some reason.
Another time, Karen is teaching english
class and
I am in
another class (I believe French class but not sure). I
get
called on to answer a question in another class and Karen is just all
of a sudden repeating
everything I say and do in the other class while Karen was trying to
teach english. Another
teacher (my Math teacher, Mr. [Steve?] Swanson)
is out in the hallway and hears and sees this too and can't
believe it. The kids in Karen's class are kind of laughing a
little
because Karen just started going completely off subject and she didn't
have a clue about what she was doing or where she was. Yes, Karen
wore
a black wig, but the kids kind of looked at it like it was a 'blonde
moment' and laughed a little about it as Karen was a normally very
focused person. After Karen snapped out of
it she went into the hallway and
the other teacher was standing there in the corner of the
hallway.
Karen said, "What just happened? Do you know?" to the other
teacher
and the other teacher that was standing in the corner of the hallway
just said, "It was the darndest thing but I just heard Ace down the
hall answering a question and I heard you start saying exactly what Ace
said at the exact same time. I don't have a clue either.
I was just heading to the bathroom and I saw it and I heard it, but I
still don't believe it" or
something
like that. It was noted that there was
something odd going on between Karen and I that just couldn't be
explained. Nothing bad, but how do you explain two different
people in
two different places doing the exact same thing at the exact same
time? The
teachers agree not to call on me to answer questions in class if it can
be avoided. After this was when I started hearing, "Believe only
half of what you see and nothing of what you hear."
And yet another time, Karen is sitting there and
just looking
at me and looking kind of puzzled. And I was kind of like, "OK,
What
did I do now?" And Karen was like, "Nothing, but I've been kind
of
going through your thoughts and I noticed you have some blank spots in
there." And I was like, "Yeah, you know how guys are.
Sometimes we
just zone out and don't think of anything." And Karen was like,
"That's kind of weird, I'm thinking all the time and my mind is running
constantly. What's it like?" And I was like,
"Nothing. Nothing at
all. Space, the final frontier. To boldly go where every
man has gone
before to the land of peace and quiet and happy happy. That's
what
it's like." And of course Karen, "And you guys call us brain
dead. It
figures."
XIV. I quit chorus. Why?
I also talked to my teacher
about how I was in chorus the year before,
but I quit. I talked about the chorus being made up mostly of
sopranos and how I used to try and falsetto the chorus to try and get a
more even sound than just 40 sopranos and about 20 'others' (bass,
baritone, tenor, alto I, alto II, and soprano, plus that 'dog whistle'
range that no one could hear anyway except maybe a dog or such).
The music teacher added the Beatles' Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da song to the
repertoire (fancy word for playlist) and it was just terrible.
The teacher's piano playing was terrific. But the song does not
work well in the soprano range, and as I tried to sing louder to
balance the sound out with my teacher's piano playing (I worked as a
scorekeeper and announcer at the local Little League minor league ball
park, so I learned 'voice projection' there at an early age without
knowing what it was called) the sopranos kept getting louder to try and
drown me out. And I kept getting louder to try and balance the
song out. Louder and louder, and it just got to be a huge mess
over this one song, so I quit chorus. It just wasn't worth it
anymore for me to try and override 40 sopranos that did not want to be
overridden. Just a huge mess that I needed to stay away
from. So I quit and stayed away from chorus after the seventh
grade.
XV. Singing together.
Dueting?
And seeing as how I used to
be in chorus, my teacher asked if I still
sang. I was like, "Usually in my room to records anymore. I
don't sing on stage or such." And she was like, "I used to sing
in a choir but it's been a while. Would you want to sing with me
sometime?" And I was like, "We could try. I can't really
promise too much. I was never really into choir music." And
she was like, "Do you know the Beach Boys' Barbara Ann?" And I
was like, "My dad listens to it. It's pretty simple.
Besides, they laugh half way through it anyway. I guess we could
try that maybe." So she was like, "You take the low part and I'll
take the high part." And I was like, "OK." And so we
harmonized a Barbara Ann duet which didn't sound half bad really.
I messed up a couple of the verses but not too bad.
But Karen had a really low volume singing voice and it was
difficult to hear her at times. I joked around and called her
Marcel
Marceau a couple times because I could see her lips moving but I
couldn't hear anything coming out. Then I
came
out with Hey Jude by the Beatles and she was impressed and joined in on
the na ne na nas. We also did Wake Up
Little Susie and Bird Dog by the Everly
Brothers, and many others. I remember that we did We Can Work It
Out
by The Beatles as a duet and Karen commented, "The flip side, Day
Tripper, was about hookers." I also remember singing Listen To
What The Man Said by Paul McCartney & Wings and Karen commented,
"Paul wrote that one about Jesus / God." And
after singing Dear Prudence by The Beatles, Karen commented about the
song being written about Mia Farrow. Helen Wheels being written
about Paul McCartney's car. Martha My Dear about Paul's sheep
dog. And Karen and I talked a bit about
remakes too. The Sgt. Pepper movie had just came out and there
were a lot of Beatle remakes in it, but Karen noticed that I wasn't too
interested in it and asked me up front, "Do you have a kind of shrine
built up around the Beatles' stuff, because I noticed that you tend to
like their versions over everyone else's?" And I was like, "Not
really, but it is one of those things where I like something different,
more personal or whatever, and not just a tempo change or such. I
like Aerosmith's Dream On and such, but I never really liked their
version of Come Together. It was just too much like the original
and kind of fell flat with me." And then I was like, "Here, I was
messing around with Strawberry Fields and I came up with some altered
lyrics." And the altered lyrics went like, "Let me spin you
'round while I'm sucking on, my blueberry bong, singing this song,
because I found what life is all about, blueberry bongs forever."
And Karen was like, "That's kind of interesting and I like it. Do
you smoke pot?" And I was like, "No, it would be just a waste
with me because I can't get stoned. I tried it and nothing, not
even a slight buzz." Karen was like, "I tried it too in college
by accident because I walked into a room where they had been smoking pot
and I got a buzz, but then I got the munchies for two days afterwards
and that was it for
me." And then I was like, "I messed around with Yesterday, what
the heck." And then I started singing in my Paul voice, "I
masturbate, because the hour at hand is getting late, All my dinner is
still sitting on my plate, because I just need to masturbate."
And Karen just lost it and so did I because she laughed so hard she
almost fell over in her chair and her tea she was sipping on came out
of her nose. Karen was like, "You should warn me before you do
something like that. But thanks I really needed a good
laugh. I kind of understand what you mean now when you said you
like something a little different and not just a remake.
Something that makes it a little more personal or a different mood or
feeling. That kind of stuff." And I was like, "Yup.
You got it." Karen and I also took naps
together during lunch time (which
I think was 6th period). We both found out that we both drooled
in our
sleep. With that we started singing "Row row row your boat,
gently
down the stream..." And we also would stagger the singing so that
we
overlapped. After this Karen mentioned that she had a boat named
the
Lucia that took four crew to run it. She said she bought the boat
originally and named it after Lucille Ball, Lucy
in the comic strip 'Peanuts', and the island of St. Lucia.
Lucille Ball lived
and was
later buried in Jamestown which was about 150 miles from Corning.
(Much thanks to Sammy Bear [Jason] for reminding
me about Karen's boat in late October 2019. Karen used to babysit
Jason when he was younger). Another time (before I knew who she
was) I was
like, "My mom listens to the Carpenters and I know it's a girl's song,
but I'd like to try this one on you. Do you know Close to You by
the Carpenters?" And she was like, "Kind of. It sounds
interesting. I'd love to hear you give it a shot. It's
actually in your range." And before I sang it I looked at her
eyes and then I started kind of playing piano on the desk and going,
"Da da de duh, da de duh, da de da de da de duh". I changed "eyes
of blue" to "On the day that you were born the
angels got together and
decided to create the best around. So they sprinkled moondust in
your
hair and golden starlight in your eyes of brown"
and "All the girls in town" to "All the guys in town". I
said afterwards that her eyes were reddish brown, but that was a bit
too long so I shortened it to just brown. Karen was like, "When I
was born, I had reddish eyes and they almost thought I might be an
albino, but my eyes darkened up later. Sometimes I would get
called Evil Karen because of my reddish eyes and hair.
When I was about 8 or 9 years old my mom started dying my
hair a darker color so the other kids didn't pick on me as much.
We
didn't really have much money at the time but my mom would sneak it in
and then we
would sneak into the bathroom later. I learned to dye my own hair
after I got a little older. I always liked
the darker color because it frames my face better." I was
like, "They
thought I was almost an albino too. I had platinum hair and
grayish eyes, but my eyes turned pale blue later on." She
liked my singing the song but she said she couldn't figure out how I
went from the long
close to you directly into the wahs without pausing to take a
breath. I explained to her that somehow I had learned to breathe
in through my nose while singing out of my mouth. And she was
like, "That's how. I never thought of trying that. Mind if
we try a duet on this one." And I was like, "Sure, I don't think
you could mess it up any worse than I did." And she was like,
"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I liked it. You did
a great job. You should be proud. It's not really a guy's
song you know." And then we dueted on Close To You with me doing
the guy lyric and her doing the original lyric. It was actually
really good. Karen and I harmonized well together. After
that I was like, "There's another Carpenters song I think I know that
has some great harmonies called We've Only Just Begun. Do you
want to try that?" And she was like, "It has some tempo changes,
but I think I can do it. Why not? We can at least give it a
shot." So we did We've Only Just Begun as well with full
harmonies together even on the verses. It was pretty good
considering there wasn't a bass or drums to fill in the gaps so we kind
of drummed on the desks which helped. We also tried Yesterday
Once More but I was weak on the lyrics so it wasn't as good as the
others we did. Also, a few times I started
singing, "I say goodbye to love"
and then I dropped down an octave and sang, "And say hello to
horny".
Karen laughed a few times when I did it, but then she said, "Could you
stop doing that goodbye to love thing, I almost sang it that way on
stage." Honest, it was in September or
October 1978 and I didn't know it was actually her. Usually
either I sang by myself or we dueted. I don't actually remember
her singing by herself. We sang some Buddy Holly - That'll Be The
Day, Oh Boy, Everyday and a
couple others. After we started singing together, we started
getting strong urges to make out together. The dueting lasted
maybe a month or two. We only sang together a few times, but she
loved Christmas and Christmas Carols. So during the month of
December (and I knew who she was by December), Karen and I sang a lot
of Christmas Carols together to keep in the Christmas spirit.
Including the messed up Batman version of Jingle Bells with "Jingle
Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the batmobile lost its wheels,
and the Joker got away, hey" only a couple times though. But we
did Silver Bells together several times and
Winter Wonderland several times too and probably
about every carol there was at one time or another. Then after
Christmas, Karen told me she needed to rest her voice for the studio,
so we didn't really sing much in 1979.
Also,
later in the school year Karen came in and was all
excited. We were doing similes, metaphores and puns and Karen had
got
permission from her brother and such to use "I Need To Be In Love" as
an example. Karen handed me a copy of the lyric sheet and was
just so
excited. She was like, "This is my favorite song to sing. I
begged
Richard and John over the phone to use this in the class and they said
I
could.
I have them on speed dial anyway. The problem was getting a hold
of
Albert Hammond who is the guy that did that train song that you
sing once in a while." And I was like, "Sounds pretty cool.
You know
I like that I'm a ch ch train song (and I changed
it into a kind of old McDonald remake with
stuff like I'm a duck, I'm a quack quack duck. I'm a cow, I'm a
moo
moo cow and like that. Cool song)."
And Karen was like, "He sent
me a letter
back
that said it was all right to use the song for educational purposes and
that I really didn't need his permission, but he was glad that I asked
anyway. It has all of these references in
it. What do you think of
it?" And I
was like, "I like the pocketfuls [note, I did say pocketfuls and not
pockets full] of good intentions, hanging on a hook
[instead of hope intentionally]
and a few of the other references, the song will definitely work with
what we're doing in class. But you know how guys are with that
love
word. About the only time guys use the love word is if they are
horny
and trying to get laid." And I started kind of laughing.
And Karen
kind of tapped me on the head with her stack of papers and said, "You
goof. I hadn't thought about that as a guy's perspective.
That is
kind of funny. I appreciate your feedback on this.
Thanks. I was kind of nervous about it and I needed a good
laugh. I'll
see you in class later."
XVI. Dancing lessons
Another time, I mentioned
to my teacher that we
had been
doing dance lessons in gym class. I know
that this definitely happened before I knew she was Karen
Carpenter. On
that day in gym class, we
did the Charleston
with the hands on the knees and all that. She was like, "Sounds
like
fun, I'm not really that good of a dancer. I have two left feet,
but
I'll put my flats on and you can show me." I was like, "OK.
Don't worry
about it. I can dance on the bottoms and you can dance on the
tops of
our two left feet if you want." So she changes her shoes under
the desk and then
stands up and we do the Charleston together as I'm explaining how to do
it. Then we did the Mashed Potato, the Swim, the Crawl, the
Twist, and
a few others. I think we even did a waltz without touching each
other,
"1,2,3,2,2,3,3,2,3,1,2,3..." Then we started improvising and did
the
Rinse Cycle, the Agitator, the Spinner, the Bunny Hop, the Tug of War,
and a few other off the wall kind of things including the Hokey
Pokey.
As luck would have it, the principal was giving a tour to a grammar
school class and they
had
gathered outside the door while we were doing this. Karen looked
over and saw people there and Karen just darted to her chair behind her
desk and put her head down on her folded arms on her desk. The
people
at the door clapped and I scooted around in my chair and sat
down.
Karen had her head down and said, "Are they gone yet? I'm so
embarassed." with her head still down in her arms. I said, "You
look
like an ostrich. I
think
they liked you. I think you may have a fan club, but yup, they're
gone." And then Karen lifts her head
up and everyone claps again then everyone leaves from the door.
Karen put her
head back down in her arms and was like, "I'll get you for this."
And
I was like, "I know you'll get even with me, but I still had a lot of
fun while it lasted." And she was like, "Me too, but I'm still
going
to get you for this." And finally I was like, "Honestly, they're
gone
now." And she lifted her head up and had a big smile on her
face. For
the next few weeks I cleaned the chalkboard and the erasers and
such.
We both had a lot of fun, and she got to relax for a couple weeks
too.
We honestly danced really well together and we were both light on our
feet. This was when I realized that Karen really was very body
conscious about herself. Karen's body consciousness seemed to
stem
from her not wanting to send a wrong message and attract a guy she was
not interested in. Karen was not really one to 'show off' so to
speak. OK, actually, Karen and I were doing the Hokey Pokey Dance
and we had got to the part of “You put your butt cheeks in, you put
your butt cheeks out, you put your butt cheeks in and you shake them
all about, you do the Hokey Pokey…” and they showed up at the door just
as Karen turned around doing ‘butt cheeks’. Karen wasn’t really
that shy or modest; it was just a bit awkward with 4th or 5th graders
and the principal standing at the door while singing about butt
cheeks. The principal and the kids liked it and the principal
even commented about “progressive education” as the principal had a big
smile on his face as he knew he caught us in an awkward situation and
Karen was embarrassed. Karen also felt that guys liked thin women
because in high
school, Karen noticed that the boys there always seemed to ask out the
skinny girls. Karen also said she was a "late bloomer" and she
felt
awkward at times in high school. And I was like, "Well, I guess
those
guys missed out on a lot of fun chasing after skinny girls that look
nice but usually aren't much fun to be around. I guess that's why
I
seem to always be attracted to tomboys that like mud pies. I
would
rather have a lot of fun than worry about what I looked like or what
she looked like. Being popular ain't always what it's cracked up
to
be. It's nice having people around and such, but it's nice being
able
to relax once in a while too. But then too, if you look too good,
usually people are too afraid to talk to you because others feel they
aren't good enough. Most people are pretty messed up. I'm
glad we're
not like that." And she was like, "You can say that again.
The grass
is always greener on the other side is the shorter version of what you
just said." And I was like, "I like my grass the way it is.
They use
some funny smelling fertilizer on the other side. Sure, it looks
nicer, but is it really worth it? But enough about fertilizer,
has
anyone told you lately how beautiful you really are inside and
out?"
And Karen just started crying and she said, "Sorry, but I know when you
just said I was beautiful right now that I know you really meant
it."
And I was like, "You know I do." And then she said, "Here, you
need a
tissue too. Thank you. I needed to hear that from you
finally." And
I was like, "Me too. I usually think it but I don't say
it." And she
was like, "I know. We probably ought to head to the bathroom and
clean
ourselves up before others see us like this." And we left and
came
back to the room after cleaning up a bit. Things happen.
XVII. The pranksters
and Little Sneak and 'secrets'
Karen and I had an early
history of being pranksters at the
school. We would each pull some prank on each other. From
rubber frogs, rubber snakes, plastic spiders, a rubber bat, a rubber
chicken (not from me),
mexican jumping
beans, and even a rubber shark in her desk drawers to her putting silly
string in my locker. The rubber animals weren't really the
problem as much as the sexually suggestive positions these rubber
animals were placed in with each other. Karen even nicknamed one
of the frogs "Petey" and she would say, "Oh Petey, I had no
idea." And then Karen would start laughing. Karen had a
step cousin named Peter who had a sister named Wendy but Peter also
married
a woman named Wendy as well. So Karen had two step cousins named
Wendy
with the same last names because Peter's sister was single and not
married. Karen was staying with Wendy the sister. Karen
would start laughing because Peter was a very normal business executive
type but Petey the Frog was definitely something else. Whoopee
cushions.
Fake poop and fake
puke. I would turn all of her books in her
book rack upside down. I would tape a
'kiss
me' sign on her back
and she would tape a 'kick me' sign on my back.
My original 'pet
name' of sorts from Karen was 'little sneak'. Anytime some prank
got pulled, Karen would be going, "Where is that little sneak.
I'll get him back." and people would start laughing because they knew
that I, Ace, was 'little sneak'. Karen had always talked about
how she was good at and how she enjoyed playing practical jokes on
others. But Karen never mentioned anything about someone "getting
her back" that I knew about. But my big prank came when
Karen and I were just kind of
goofing around one day and flipping a coin and going "heads or
tails". It was a nickel and towards the end I managed to get the
nickel to land on the edge leaning up against her book so it was
technically a draw because it wasn't heads or tails. After this I
took the nickel and I said, "You would be surprised how difficult it is
because you need a lot of coordination to take this nickel and run it
down the middle of your face like this." And then I took the
nickel and started at the top of my forehead and went down under my
chin down the middle of my face. Secretly, under my desk, without
Karen seeing, I had taken another nickel and colored around the edge
with a pencil. After I did the nickel down my face with my left
hand, I handed Karen the nickel that had been colored from my right
hand to Karen. And Karen ran the nickel down the middle of her
face and she said, "Actually, this was easier than I thought. I
figured that I would either go to one side or the other because you
almost have to look cross-eyed to do this. That's kind of
neat." And I was keeping a straight face as best as I could as
she now had a large black racing stripe down the middle of her face and
onto her neck. And then I said, "Well, you did it.
Congratulations. Keep the nickel and I'll see you later."
So I left the room and went to get my books at my locker and I kept
trying not to bust out laughing. This was during fifth period
lunch I believe. I made a point to stop by her room and see how
she was doing and if she'd figured it out yet between sixth and seventh
periods. Karen had a couple friends visiting her. Karen
introduced them as Gertrude (or Trudy played by I believe Olivia Newton
- John) and Loretta (played by I believe Dionne Warwick). Of
course Karen was Wendy (played by I believe Karen Carpenter). And
of course there was a big secret as far as not telling Wendy about the
racing stripe down the middle of her face. And Trudy and Wendy
talked about how they had a secret where only Trudy and Wendy knew who
this famous well-known actor was that was trying to get Trudy, but
Trudy managed to get out of it so the actor didn't score with
Trudy. Trudy didn't tell Wendy, but Wendy
guessed it. Trudy and Wendy were about the
same age whereas Loretta
was about ten years older and sometimes Loretta would kind of feel a
bit out of place like a 'third wheel' or such. Loretta had been
around a bit longer in the business so Trudy and Wendy looked up to
Loretta too. Wendy and Loretta had rough exteriors in their
personalities whereas Trudy didn't really have that rough
exterior. So Wendy and Loretta were fairly protective of
Trudy.
Trudy also had to sit on a cushion because Trudy had recently cracked
her
tail bone. And a joke too because most of
us were born with a cracked
'bum' and it was about time that Trudy had a crack in her bum too like
the rest of us. And of course a joke from me, "Do you know why
your bum is cracked vertical instead of horizontal? So that when
you slide down the stairs you don't go blblblblblbl (say the letter B
and move your index finger up and down your lips to make the
blblblblblbl sound)". A good laugh can many times help ease the
pain.
Trudy was also talking with Wendy as Trudy had found a
nice
guy that was 10 years younger than her. Wendy had a nice guy in
the
room who was 15 years younger so Wendy and Trudy had a bit to talk
about between themselves. And
they were all
laughing and having a good old time and I believe Loretta pulled me
over off
to the side and asked, "Did you do that to her face?" And I said,
"Shhh,
yeah, I did. It's only pencil so it will wipe off." And
Loretta said something like, "I know she
likes to play practical jokes on people and this is priceless.
This is just too funny. She is in rare form today. I am so
enjoying this. I'm not going to tell. Don't tell
her now because I'm enjoying this, but you definitely need to tell her
later before she finds out from someone else." And Loretta was on
the one side and Wendy was on the other side and Gertrude was in the
middle behind Karen's desk so that no one could get direct access to
Gertrude without getting passed Wendy or Loretta. Date
bait. Put the cute girl in the middle to draw in the cute
guys. Guys do the same thing, only with guys it is called the
'lieutenants' who are there to screen the girls to see who might be
good enough for 'Mr. Perfect'. From 1989 to 2004, I was a hunk
and I used to walk around town without my eyeglasses on and I had at
least 5 or 6 offers from guys to be my lieutenant during that
time. I never accepted any of the offers, but that never stops
them anyway. "To get to him, you've got to get passed me."
"To get to her, you've got to get passed me." It works both
ways. Date bait. I went to reach around and tap Gertrude to
get her
attention to not tell Wendy, but I accidentally bumped Loretta and
Loretta asked something like, "What are you doing?" And I was
like, "I was going to ask Trudy not to tell Wendy about the mark on her
face." or something like that, and Loretta said, "Don't worry, I'll
make sure she doesn't tell her." And then Loretta said something
like, "Of all the times I have been around guys, all of the guys have
always made a bee line for Trudy, but I noticed that you aren't
interested in Trudy but you sure have eyes for Wendy. You really
like Wendy, don't you?" And I was like, "I like tomboys and mud
pies and I'm not much for girly girls. Trudy seems to be nice and
all, but Trudy's not my type. Wendy's just my type. Wendy
knows she's my type too." And sometime during this Dionne said
something like, "I think we're using the wrong
bait to catch you. I think we ought to move Wendy in the middle
to catch you. This is getting confusing,
you know who we are,
right?" And I was like, "Yeah, I know you're Dionne Warwick and
that's Olivia Newton - John and Karen Carpenter is my teacher. I
think I'm still Ace but I'll have to ask Karen about that." And
Dionne kind of laughed and was like, "You're funny like someone else I
know and I can see a definite attraction between you two. I know
those puppy dog (I think she said puppy dog but not sure) eyes and I
feel like I need to give you some advice now. If you love her,
tell her how you feel. I know you're a guy and girls like hearing
that kind of stuff from guys. Make sure she knows. Tell her
every chance you get." or something like that. It was good
advice. And I think I said something kind of smart alecky and
Dionne kind of laughed about it. I think I said something along
the lines of Karen and I sharing our feelings would make a sailor and a
porn star blush or something like that. And then I went over to
Karen and Karen kind of said in my ear,
"This has been a really great day. Everybody has been laughing
and joking and having a great time. I'm not sure what it is, but
everybody has been happy around me today for some reason after lunch
ended." And I whispered back, "I think you're being happy is
contagious. Keep it up. I'll see you later." and then I was
like, "Nice meeting you" and then I
left for class. This part is still a little sketchy, but a little
while later I heard a commotion and I had Olivia come over and get me
from my class across the hall. Karen had got jealous that Dionne
and I laughed together and Olivia had got between Karen and Dionne to
keep a physical fight from breaking out. Yes, Olivia can be one
tough bird when she needs to be. When I came into Karen’s
classroom, Karen had her arms straight out on the corners of her desk
and Karen said, “Don’t touch me. Don’t come near me. I’ll
be fine but before I kill you I need to hear from you what you and
Dionne talked about.” And I answered, “The first laugh was from
when we talked about the names and I told Dionne that I would have to
ask you if my name was still Ace. The second kind of laugh was
when I mentioned tomboys and mud pies. The third laugh was when I
told Dionne that if you and I shared our feelings about each other that
we would probably make a sailor and a porn star blush. We talked
about you was all.” And Karen was like, “Thanks. That’s
about what Dionne said was that you two were talking about me. I
can see your thoughts and I know what you told me is the truth.
I’ll be all right in a little bit but I got jealous and I had these
thoughts in my head that just didn’t seem right. Luckily it
popped into my head that Dionne had told me that she only liked dark
meat so my jealousy didn’t make sense. But I did get jealous and
I was ready to kill someone just a little bit ago as you
noticed.” And then Karen came out with something like, “You know
I was ready to kill you just now but I also know that you weren’t
scared.” And I said something like, “I know you were ready to
kill someone but as you know I can’t hurt you. If you were gonna
kill me, you were gonna kill me, but like always, if I can make you
feel better somehow, I’m gonna try and make you feel better even if you
need to kill me to feel better. The truth.” or something like
that. And after that I think I left and went back across the hall
(I am pretty sure it was during 7th period science class for me).
At the beginning of 8th period english class, one
of the girl students walked up to Karen's desk before I got there and
said, "How are you
feeling?" And Karen said, "I'm having a great day.
Everybody has been so happy. Why do you ask?" And the girl
said, "Miss Bihuniak, do you have a
compact?" And Karen said, "Yes." And the girl said, "I
think you ought to look at your face in the mirror. You'll
see." So Karen pulled out her compact and looked and at first I
could see anger in Karen's eyes and then Karen looked over at me, and
then Karen said in a low voice to me, "I thought you were up to
something. So this is what you were up to?" And I just
smiled and said, "Yup, honestly I was just going to tell you about it
but she beat me to it." in a low voice. And Karen went out into
the hallway and then Karen just
broke down and started laughing so hard that she literally sat down in
the hallway next to the wall. She was laughing so hard that she
couldn't stand up any more and she just started crying and laughing off
and on at the same time. And I went out
with her but I stayed back a little and then Karen just started talking
in her normal voice and started saying while she was crying and sitting
against the wall, "Thank you. I knew he was the one and I asked
you for a sign and I always knew it was going to be the one that got me
back for all the pranks I've pulled on others. Just look at my
face. [And she giggled] He got me good and I love him so
much. I just love him so much. [And Karen had her knees up
and her arms wrapped around her knees and her head buried in her arms]
I've waited so long for this to happen and thank you. Look at
me. I'm so happy that I'm crying. I just can't help it
because I've been through so much and I love him so much. Thank
you for bringing him into my life." And then one of the other
teachers helped
Karen stand up and get to the bathroom
finally so that she could touch her face up.
The teacher that helped her kept turning his face to the side so that
she didn't see him laughing because he knew how much Karen loved
practical jokes and he also knew that Karen could be a bit sensitive
about her appearance too and didn't want her to think he was laughing
at her appearance which he thought would have made her cry more.
Yes, for a
simple prank to pull off, this actually ended up being quite
complicated afterwards. And later that day during dismissal
homeroom Karen said to me, "Did you hear what I said in the
hallway?" And I said, "You know I can't lie to you and yes, I
heard every word you said." And then Karen said, "Well, now that
you know my secret what do you have to say for yourself?" And I
said, "You know I love you too but I never prayed for you, you just
happened. And as you can tell by the big smile on my face, I am
very glad that you've happened. I do pray though just not very
often. I remember
the one time I prayed that if He really existed that a 20 dollar bill
would fall out of the sky. Of course it didn't happen but then a
week later my mom told me that she had a twenty dollar bill just fall
out of the sky and land in front of her about a week before, so she
picked it up. I didn't really need the money or such; I was just
curious, but you know how my luck goes." And then Karen said, "You
should know by now that He has a good sense of humor. Just look
in the mirror. We're all funny looking in
our own ways. I know you really do love
me but you could really hurt someone's feelings
doing something like that. What if I had to be at an important
meeting at the last minute or whatever. Luckily I didn't.
You got me good. I'll admit that. I
should be furious about this right now, but I did ask for it in a way
as you heard out there in the hallway.
This one is going to be
tough to beat. I'll think of something though. You know
me. I am not a spoiled sport, but I can never admit
defeat." Karen pulled her own prank
back by saying, "Rest assured that I am going to teach you a lesson
that you'll never forget and I'm going to get even with you if it's the
last thing
I do." And then, of course, Karen didn't do anything for at least
a week. All in good fun. Seriously.
And who was the one that Karen told all of her inner most secrets
to? Mush? Lucky dog.
I taught Karen another prank too I think around
mid January
1979. The quarter and the funnel prank for those that know.
Anyway,
you take a funnel and put it in the top of your pants and tell the
other person, "this is tougher than it looks". After the funnel
is
positioned in the top of your pants then you take the quarter and place
it on your forehead while leaning your head back and then you bring
your head forward and the quarter usually drops into the funnel in the
top of your pants. I did this a little differently to teach Karen
the
prank, but normally you would hand the funnel over to the other person
(the prankee) and of course you had a glass of water (preferably with
ice cubes) and when the other person positions the funnel and leans
their head back, you pour the water down the funnel and usually the
quarter goes flying somewhere and the pranker looks for a place to hide
after pouring the water in the funnel. Instead of the usual way,
I did
it a second time and told Karen to pour the water instead. Not
sure if
she ever pulled that one on someone else, but I knew where she learned
it from. The nice part is that the pants and / or underwear dry
fairly
quickly in most cases (or would have been a skirt in Karen's case but
it was my pants which dried in about a half hour).
But a little while after the
silly string in my locker, the pranking stopped between us. After
the silly string incident, the other kids were starting to think of
Karen and me as boyfriend and girlfriend. Not something you want
to hear about from a teacher and a student in a small area. So we
both decided to
call a truce and end the practical jokes on each other before Karen may
have got wrongfully accused of something which would be a serious
problem and not a prank. And it was probably the most weird
experience in either of our lives, because for both of us, Karen and
me, we actually had more fun being serious and
helping ourselves as well as others solve problems than
the fun we had from
making jokes and pulling pranks and such.
XVIII. Not nuts, butter
knives part 1
One time, I mentioned to my
teacher that someone had said they had seen
her put her finger down her throat to make herself puke and some of the
kids were talking about it and I overheard them talking but I didn't
say anything.
Honestly, my teacher said that it was true and said she had a problem
with feeling like she was fat. She also then said something in a
kind of concerned voice like, "Do
you think I'm nuts too?" And I was like, "No. Not at all.
You are definitely not fat or crazy. You stuck your finger down
your throat and it did not taste so good. My finger doesn't taste
too good either. No big deal. I
have a step uncle, Clary that stripped down naked because he thought it
made him invisible and then he got on my grandfather's kitchen table
and threatened to do everyone in with a butter knife. That's
nuts. They had to straight jacket him and take him away in a
rubber truck with bouncy walls inside. I don't think you're
nuts. But if you do go nuts
would you let me know because I think that would be quite a sight and I
like tomboys that aren't afraid to make
mud pies and such." And wouldn't you know it, just after we gave
each other big starry-eyed smiles, someone else walked into the room.
XIX. Still not nuts.
Butter knives part 2
Within a couple weeks of
the 'finger down the throat' talk, Miss
Bihuniak came in one morning and sat down in her chair all sad and
grumpy and
saying, "I guess I am not used to home cooking. I gained ten
pounds. I feel like a beached whale." I then looked at her
and then I looked to her left and right side, and then I looked
straight at her again and said, "I don't
see a water spout or fins yet. Are you sure you are turning into
a
beached whale? You look fine to me except maybe a little
grumpy." And she was like, "I gained ten pounds. I'm
fat. I was 94 pounds and now I am 104, what am I going to
do? I feel fat." And I was like, "I
probably gained ten pounds of muscle myself climbing up and down those
stairs, and now I probably need to go down those stairs again to the
cafeteria and grab
two butter knives." And she was like "Grab two butter knives for
what?" And I said, "Because you can exercise to lose fat, but I
am not sure how to lose muscle and I am probably going to drive myself
crazy trying to figure out how someone can lose ten pounds of
muscle. You are already a beached whale, so I figure if I get a
couple butter knives and clear off your desk, we can go crazy together
like my uncle Clary did." And she was like, "You're probably
right, I hadn't thought about going up and down the stairs and toning
up and gaining muscle and all that." And then I was like, "From
what I see, even though you are a beached whale now, you still look the
same as you did before. But it's not looks, but what's inside
that counts anyway and if there's some guy that can't see what a
wonderful person you are because of ten or even a hundred pounds, then
you're with the wrong guy." And she said, "There's no other
guy. No guys actually. Would you hurry up and go down to
the cafeteria and get those butter knives while I clear off the desk
and barricade the door?" And then I said, "There is someone
behind me, isn't there?" And she put her hand over her mouth to
keep from laughing out loud and shook her head yes. And then a
male teacher's voice, Mr. Baer, came from behind me saying, "Am
I interrupting
something?" and she was like, "No, come on in. We were just
sharing some jokes we heard to help start the day off right." And
I just went around her desk and sat in my chair with a big old smile on
my face while her and the other teacher talked about whatever (I think
it may have been about posing together for the school picture and not
really anything teacher/student/education related).
And at the end of the day, we talked again. She was actually mad
at first, And she said, "We needed to talk, why didn't you leave the
room?" And I was like, "You were so down in the dumps earlier, I
wanted to
make sure you were alright." And then it dawned on me, when her
and Mr. Baer were talking, she was kind of motioning me to leave the
room and I didn't. I was like, "You're mad at me, aren't
you? I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. [and I'm
almost in tears now] I'm sorry. Is there any way I can make
it up to you. I can't handle you being mad at me. I'm
losing it, ain't I? I can't help it. I just wanted to make
sure you were all right." She was like, "It's OK, I smoothed it
over
anyway with him, but I need you to talk to him tomorrow." And I
was like, "OK, no problem. I'm really sorry. I didn't
realize because I was so worried about you earlier." Then her
face just exploded in a good way and she was just beaming and said, "We
just had our first argument." And I was like, "Hey, you're
right. You won that one by a long shot." And she was like,
"Max was the one that helped me to get my job here. I am very
grateful to Max because if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here
teaching. The school board was saying no because I have a drawl
in my voice and they were worried that you kids might start talking
funny.” And I was like, “Talkded funny. Us no talkded
funny. What am giveded them that darn foolded idears?
Surely not am us.” And then Karen continued, “Cute, but don't let
the school board hear you talking like that or they will have me out of
here. Max literally
stood up to the entire school board and
threatened to quit if they didn't hire me." Then she was like,
"Thanks
for earlier, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps." And I was
like,
"That's OK, I probably was a little grumpy myself. It
happens." Then she said, "If I did have a boyfriend, would you
get jealous?" And I was like, "Nah, I am not the jealous type
really. I like people being happy and jealous people never seem
to be happy. Just one of my many quirks I guess. Do you
have anyone in mind?" And she said, "Max has someone else."
And I was like, "Do you want me to try and steal her away from
him?" And she was like, "You would wouldn't you?" with a giggle
in her voice. And I was like, "In a heartbeat." And she was
like, "Max is nice and all, but he really isn't my type." And she
was like, "As far as the jealousy, I was just checking
just in case, but I kind of noticed that you aren't looking for anyone
either." And I was like, "If it happens, it happens, but every
time I try to make something happen it always seems to fall
apart." She was like, "Me too. I know what you mean."
Then she continued, "Well if something happens, I hope I don't get
jealous. You are a really wonderful person too." And I was
like, "Helping you feel better helps me feel better too you know.
I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine myself most of the time if you
haven't noticed. I do always try to make the best of it though
and I was really glad that I was there for you this morning. Are
you feeling better now?" She was like, "Much better. Thanks
again. We probably ought to get going before people start to
wonder where we are. I am staying with my cousins and they can
get kind of worried sometimes." And I was like, "Yeah, my parents
are that way too if I'm not home by a certain time. See you
tomorrow. Glad you are feeling better again and don't worry, if
you need privacy or whatever, just ask and I'll go to the bathroom or
whatever." And we just
both packed up our stuff and left for the day. Side note too, at
around 116 pounds, Karen would start developing what is known as a
‘double chin’.
And with that side note, Karen and I wouldn’t usually eat that much
during lunch time. Many times we would share stuff. It was
the middle of the day and we were both the active types so we would
usually have a decent breakfast, light lunch and then dinner
later. Of course breakfast and dinner were before and after
school, so we usually shared lunch together. Most times, I would
pick up a couple milks and Karen would sip on her tea. On
occasion we might share an ice cream sandwich or like the one time when
I got a Reggie bar and we split it in half for something different to
try. Karen used to eat a lot of sweets when she was younger but
her tastes had changed a little and she liked salads and such
now. At times, Karen would send me down to the cafeteria to pick
up her salad that she made for lunch. Usually a caesar type salad
with iceberg lettuce that she made at her step cousin Wendy’s house and
brought into work with her. Karen would always brush and floss
her teeth after she ate. She used the regular dental floss as she
wasn’t much for that minty stuff. I think it was the green color
more than the taste. I think Karen was worried that if she used
green colored dental floss that her teeth might start turning
green. But Karen always had spindly arms and legs as far as her
wrists and forearms and her ankles and calves were always thin. I
saw Karen weigh at least 136 pounds and she still had thin wrists,
forearms, calves and ankles. But you could tell if Karen was
trying to lose weight mostly in her face. You could start seeing
Karen’s jaw bone and her cheek bones become more visible when she was
trying to lose weight. You could also start seeing the bones
around Karen’s eyes sticking out more and her eyes would look like they
were sinking more. I would talk about “chipmunk cheeks (yes, it
sounds much better than chubby cheeks)” and how most people that looked
younger tended to have chipmunk cheeks. You know, like Chip and
Dale with those chubby little cute cheeks that people just wanted to
pinch. Chipmunk cheeks. And of course Karen and I would
puff out our cheeks on occasion to show off those chipmunk
cheeks. Karen would also joke around about being Bucky Beaver
with buck teeth in the front. Her front teeth really weren’t that
much bigger, but she had fun with it. Karen and Richard both had
slight overbites which was part of their unique sound too. And a
few
times Karen tried pony tails too but she was
getting older so a pony tail wouldn’t last too long in her hair.
Pony tails work for little girls, but middle aged women it looks a
little off even with chipmunk cheeks. But Karen never really had
big ankles or calves or forearms or wrists. Karen would usually
gain weight on the back of her biceps and her thighs and her butt and
her mid section, but not on her wrists, forearms, calves or
ankles. And again, Karen would start developing a double chin at
around 116 pounds and Karen would drop her chin down towards her chest
and feel that little ridge under her chin. And climbing three
flights of stairs while carrying a shopping bag with knitting needles
and her purse and teaching stuff every day helped tone things up a
bit. Most of the time that I knew Karen, she weighed at least 100
pounds, but she did slip a couple times below 100, but she didn’t stay
there too long and it was only a couple times. Most of the time
Karen kept busy thinking about her teaching and not as much about how
she looked or how much she weighed or such. And that was why
Karen was glad that she was keeping busy doing something to keep her
mind occupied instead of just taking time off. And Karen staying
with her step cousin Wendy was a nice change of pace for Karen
too. Karen’s personality (and mine too) liked going overboard and
being extreme. Wendy, like Karen’s mom and Richard, was a good
and steady anchor for Karen and Karen was a breath of fresh air for
Wendy too.
XX. What's in a name?
Adrian
Clair? Maximilian Adalbert?
The next day, Mr. Baer
stopped over and I was like, "Sorry about
yesterday Mr. Baer, Miss Bihuniak was having a rough morning and I was
worried about her being down in the dumps. I should have left so
that you and her could talk privately but I didn't. I'm
sorry. I'll try not to let it happen again." And Mr. Baer
was like, "That's all right my boy, just water under the bridge, we
talked later anyway. You can call me Jethro if you want, everyone
else does around here. I just have that goofy voice." And I
was like, "I like Mr. Baer better. More distinctive. You're
a really nice person and deserve a bit of respect even with your goofy
voice." And Mr. Baer said, "I have a really goofy middle name
too. What's your middle name?" And Miss Bihuniak starts
laughing off to the side. And I said, "Clair." And Mr. Baer
said, "Clair, that's a girl's name, I think you got me beat on that
one." And I was like, "It's the boy's spelling without the e at
the end. And my real first name is Adrian which makes me sound
like a hair dresser or something, which is why I go by Ace." And
Miss Bihuniak is laughing so hard that she is kind of bending over a
bit with her hand over her mouth. And then Mr. Baer said, "My
middle name is Adalbert, Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior." And I
was like, "My full name is Adrian Clair Downing the third, hair
dresser. I think it's a tie." And Miss Bihuniak just lost
it and laughed out loud after that one. And Mr. Baer was like,
"Thanks Ace, I think that was a tie if you say so. Now if you
don't mind, Karen
and I have some things we would like to discuss again about the
upcoming school pictures, and so if you don't mind?" And I was
like, "No problem, I think I have to go to the bathroom anyway."
So I went to the bathroom and when I came back, the door was still
closed, so I just waited outside and sat by the door. Later,
after school, me and Karen talked about it and she said thanks.
The talk from Karen kind of went, "Thanks for earlier, Max can be a
real handful at times, but you handled it really well and so did
Max
really. You really don't get jealous do you?" And I was
like, "No. I can't. I only want you to be happy even if it
means you are with someone else. I'm sorry, but I can't be
jealous over you. I only want you to be happy. Being
jealous wouldn't make you happy. I just can't be jealous over you
even if you wanted me to be. I just can't. It isn't in me
to be jealous over anyone." And she had a big smile on her face
and said, "You just kind of reminded me of a guy
I knew in high school
named Norm (I think she said Greenfield but not sure, nope, it was
Friedlander). Norm
always
smiled when he was around me and I often wondered if he had a crush on
me. Norm always had this big smile on his face whenever I saw
him. I
could be having a rough day and somehow just seeing Norm smile made me
feel better somehow... You're such a
sweetheart. I hope you never
change." So yeah,
anyway, I had Karen Carpenter for homeroom and english class, and Max
Baer Jr. (me and Max have the same birthday, December 4) for science
class. Quite a year in
eighth grade.
XXI. Cousin Patti and
piano lessons
But a while after school
started and such, a girl I knew from piano
lessons outside school came into homeroom with just me and my teacher
there. My teacher had told me that her
first name was "Wendy" as a couple other teachers had called her
Wendy. I always called her Miss Bihuniak anyway at this time as
she was still my teacher, but it was still nice to know that her first
name wasn't Miss. She asked me to call her
Wendy once, so I did and it just didn't sound
right, so I went back to calling her Miss Bihuniak.
The girl that came into homeroom was Patti Carpenter, who I took piano
lessons
with. Anyway, Patti comes rushing in the room and says something
like, "Karen, I think I found my car. Look." And then my
teacher and I both look at Patti with a concerned look, and then Patti
says, "That's just Ace, we took piano lessons together. She's my
cousin Ace. Her name is Karen. I ain't going to call her by
her teacher name or whatever." And then Patti was talking to my
teacher, her cousin, and Patti was just so excited. And Patti was
saying that my teacher had said she would help Patti get a car, and the
car in the paper had low mileage, was nearby, wasn't expensive,
and... And while Patti was talking, my teacher was talking about
the conditions like Patti doing her chores, and keeping her grades up,
and such. And while my teacher was doing this I was kind of
contributing things like, "A car is a big responsibility. Are you
ready to take on the responsibility of taking care of a car? What
if something goes wrong?" And Patti said something like, "Ace,
you're weird. You are sounding like my dad." and when Patti
looked back at me to say this, my teacher motioned her arms and
mouthed, "Keep it up. Keep it up" and then Patti turned back
around and my teacher had this straight, concerned face when Patti
turned around. And a few
other comments about responsibility and such too from both myself and
my teacher, who just smiled at
me after I put my two cents in. Patti went from being the excited
kid to sounding a bit more serious and responsible. More like an
adult would be. My teacher then asked Patti to
pick up the phone on the wall and ask for an outside line and give the
number to dial out to see if the car was still available. After
Patti called on the car, my teacher said something like, "Patti, you're
going to be late for school, shouldn't you be going? We'll look
into the car later after school." So then Patti said her thank
yous and such and left for school (I was in eighth grade middle
school. Patti was in tenth grade high school across the
river and about ten minutes away by car, let alone walking).
After Patti left, I looked at my teacher with a straight
face and just said, "They just grow up so fast." And we both
laughed as it was one of those 'proud parent' type moments between us
that we hadn't thought about having. Also, after laughing and
such, my teacher asked me not to tell people her first name was Karen,
which was fine with me. I had a suspicion after this, Karen and
Patti Carpenter?, but nothing
definite and I was happy having a nice homeroom teacher that wasn't
afraid to talk
about stuff whatever that stuff may be. I also can't remember for
sure, but I think my teacher said something like, "I probably ought to
give her a ride, she won't make it to school on time." And then I
think Karen may have left and asked me to keep an eye on things until
she
got back but I am not totally sure about that now.
As Patti was getting older she preferred Patricia, but when
someone doesn't act older, Patti works too. As far as piano
lessons,
Patti and I had Mrs. Kelly as a piano teacher together. I
originally
started taking piano lessons from my mom's cousin, Linda Jimerson, but
Linda was losing a battle with cancer and was unable to teach
anymore.
Linda was the piano teacher that taught me about acronyms where you
take the first letter of different words and make a new word from that
only in reverse order. Eat A Good Breakfast Daily or EAGBD and if
you know the 'ring of fifths' from music theory 101 then...
XXII. Being spoiled.
Not for us. Seriously
Probably one of the most
thoughtful talks we had was after I said that
I drank a lot of milk. Then the word 'spoiled' came out.
Then my teacher talked about having an older brother and I talked about
having a younger sister. And then I talked about how I had
recently been grounded for not doing my social studies / history
homework lately and my television, record player, and such were taken
away for a week, but only ended up being three or four days. I
then talked about how I didn't want to end up 'spoiled' like my sister
and although I took the stuff back, I still didn't use the stuff for
about a week after I got it back. I did most of the talking this
time, but my teacher did talk a little. But I started being very
profound talking about 'spoiled'. Stuff
like, "A spoiled person becomes
'sour' (like sour milk that is spoiled) when they do not get what they
want. Spoiled 'brats' throw fits when they do not get what they
want. A
fit or 'tantrum' is a burst of anger from someone to try and get what
they want by being obnoxious until they get what they want. A very bad
habit to develop." I told my teacher about my sister behaving
'spoiled'
and that I did not want to be like that. "Spoiled people do not
seem to
appreciate what they have and always seem to want more. And more
never
seems to be enough. Myself, personally, not the way I want to go
through life. Throwing a fit every time I did not get what I
wanted or
'my way'. Many times I feel it is better to go without. You
would be
surprised what a little imagination could do. Intangibles (can
not be
seen or touched) versus tangibles (can be seen or touched). Intangibles
won. Stuff is just stuff. Thoughts are thoughts. Take
away everything
tangible, but the intangibles still remain." But
it was through this
discussion that me and my teacher (sorry again, my english teacher and
homeroom
teacher and I, not me and my teacher, even though it was me and my
teacher both realizing...) both realized that we could not really
change others, only ourselves (grammar demons can't be changed either
and are also included somehow in the 'others' category).
Accepting
people for who they really are,
faults included. Myself, being a people, included also.
Through this
talk we had, both myself and my teacher realized that many times we
learn what we like and dislike through others. Big brother,
little
sister included. Parent, child included. Teacher, student
included. And
this talk between us led to me (and my pen name Confusion) saying, "You
can't have it all. Where would you put it?". If you have a little
patience, things tend to work out eventually. If you do not have
patience, you are becoming 'spoiled'. We all have our own choices
to
make, just as others have their choices too. Spoiled or not
spoiled.
Choices remain. And at the end of this discussion that we had, my
teacher (who was unmarried) definitely made her choice as she said, "If
only you were a little older because I don't want to go through that
growing up stuff all over again." What else could I say other
than, "Me
too." And as usual, we both smiled at each other and waited for
the
other kids to show up for homeroom. I usually made stupid jokes
and stuff, so this 'spoiled' discussion that became very thoughtful and
introspective was a shock to both of us. At the end my teacher
said, "as far as content, that was definitely an A+, but as far as
presentation, I would have given it a B+ or a B. You talked about
all of these great ideas and such, but you really didn't seem to have
any emotion or feeling when you talked about them. Your talk was
almost like primal therapy without anything therapeutic in it.
Still
a great talk and maybe I can work some of that stuff into my class
discussions, but it seemed like you were on the verge of a major life
changing breakthrough and then you just kind of fell flat at the
end." And, as usual, Karen was right. I didn't emphasize
that emotions and feelings are intangibles too and not just
thoughts. That was why this talk fell flat at the end.
And a little while after our serious 'spoiled'
talk, we had
another serious talk. I just came out with, "Did you ever notice
that
when someone is trying to use someone that they start talking bad about
everyone else but themselves?" And Karen was like, "I haven't
really
thought about it that way, but maybe you're on to something
there. Go
ahead. Shoot. Sounds interesting. I'm all
ears." So I was like,
"I've kind of noticed that those that talk bad of others hang around
together and don't really talk much to others. Cliques as you
called
it before I think. Anyway, I've kind of noticed that some people
try
to isolate people from others by talking bad about others. That's
kind
of why if you notice, I don't really feel too comfortable around people
that talk bad of others. I've noticed too that you are kind of
the
same way and that you're not too comfortable around those that talk bad
about others either. And anyway, I just kind of realized why I
don't
feel comfortable around those kinds of people. I mean a little
talk
here and there because no one's perfect, but there are some that get
down right mean about it. Those kind of people." And Karen
was like,
"I know I can get jealous at times, is that what you are trying to talk
about?" And I was like, "Nope. I hadn't even thought of
that. That's
kind of different and I understand on that. Really, most guys are
turned off by tomboys and such, not me. You know me. I
like..." And
of course Karen and I both say, "Tomboys and mud pies" together.
And
then I was like, "I think our parents kind of trained us to beware of
those kinds of people because probably they went through it
themselves. They were probably taught by their parents and maybe
even
personal experience; you know how it goes. I think it's good
advice.
You know, someone keeps saying how great they are and then leaves you
flat for someone else that they think is better. They use you
until
something they feel is better comes along. But I think in order
to use
someone, you have to make it so they don't talk to anyone else, so
that's where I think they learn the bad mouthing from. That's why
I
think our parents taught us to beware of others that talk bad about
others. You know, if you don't have nothing nice to say then it
is
better to say nothing at all. That kind of stuff. I mean
everyone can
have problems, but there are some that just seem to constantly bad
mouth others, you know what I mean?" And Karen was like, "This is
interesting. Yeah, I know what you mean. Like you, if
you've noticed,
I kind of avoid those types of people too. That's kind of why
I've had
you stay up here with me during lunch so that Max kind of leaves me
alone. And that was actually my kind of turn off with Max.
He has
that goofy voice which was all right, you can get used to it, but a lot
of times I just kind of started feeling lonely around him but I just
couldn't figure out why. But feeling lonely is never any fun
especially when you're with someone." And I was like, "I
know what
you mean and I agree. I don't feel lonely around you but also, we
don't really talk bad about others too. I think that kind of
helps. I
mean you can be by yourself and not feel lonely but when you get those
feelings around someone else it usually means trouble down the road
somewhere. I've kind of noticed that those that bad mouth others
are
usually very controlling people and I've noticed that you and your
brother tend to work together on things so I think you're used to
working together with someone and not used to being controlled if that
makes any sense." And Karen was like, "That makes sense, I mean
me and
my brother never dated or whatever, but I'm just so used to working
with my brother that it feels awkward around others. It's weird
too
because for some reason I've never felt awkward around you
either. But
the other weird part is that me and my brother are kind of opposites,
but you and me are almost exactly alike. I haven't been able to
figure
that part out yet." And I was like, "Me neither. Me and my
sister
aren't really alike either, but my sister can get kind of stubborn and
head strong at times so we don't really work together too well most of
the time. I try sometimes, but just the way it is I guess."
And then
Karen and I just looked at each other and then we both said at the same
time, "I can't figure it out either. Everyone's different I
guess."
Then we both kind of packed up and left for the day.
Another time, Karen brought up that her and Richard had done an
interview for a magazine and during the interview, the interviewer said
that the cameras were off when in fact they weren’t. It was
supposed to be a private talk, off camera, but ended up being a slight
mess. The interviewer had asked Richard and Karen how they
thought about some of the new groups coming out and Richard and Karen
brought up Mott The Hoople and noted that it wasn’t their kind of music
as it was not melodic nor harmonic and was just not something that the
Carpenters were into doing themselves. Note also, Richard was a
big Frank Zappa fan too. The Mott The Hoople interview was kind
of chopped up a little and stuff taken out of context of a talk that
was supposed to be private anyway. Phone calls to the Carpenters’
manager and it was just a big headache. That was when Karen and
Richard realized and decided that ‘publicly’ they would not say
anything in a bad context that could possibly be taken the wrong
way. Keep things positive as best as possible and try and avoid
anything that could be seen as being negative. But yes, lesson learned
as things were taken out of context on comments that were supposed to
be “off the record” anyway and a big lesson about those that make
controversy for others by not being honest themselves and some people
can be really sneaky. If you don’t say anything negative, there
is nothing to
take out of context and things that are meant to be private stay
private. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, it is better to
say nothing at all. What you do in your house is your business.”
as Karen would say. But after that, Karen and Richard knew better
than to trust others when being public. By themselves was fine,
but when others were around watch what you say that could be taken the
wrong way. Be positive and avoid anything negative. And
yes, with negative experiences as far as Karen’s therapy sessions and
such, Karen was not wishing to talk publicly about anorexia or
arrhythmia or bulimia or ‘slimmers disease’ or such. Karen was
waiting until she had something positive to say about dealing with the
problem. As far as the therapy sessions and such, nothing
positive there as it was a real mess with therapists trying to twist
things around to try and get Karen and her family to fit into some mold
that just was not true, but Karen had a bit of success with keeping her
weight steady by only weighing herself once a week from November 1982
to February 1983. Karen’s family was not a family that was
physically affectionate publicly (hint, that stuff should be kept in
the bedroom where it belongs), however, the family were thinkers and
not usually very emotional. The family showed that they cared by
being there for someone and trying to help someone sort out their
problem(s), not by hugging and kissing and that kind of stuff that
should stay in the bedroom where it belongs. So yeah, nothing
nice to say about therapy sessions and such as that stuff really was
not helping Karen at all. Seriously, a hug was not going to help
Karen stop worrying about her weight. Even newspaper and tabloid
articles saying that Karen appeared to be sickly and very underweight
was not going to help Karen. Karen and her mom helped themselves
and came up with a plan where Karen only weighed herself once a
week. By weighing herself only once a week, Karen had started to
stop worrying about her weight and more about how she felt. For
four months it was starting to work and Karen was starting to feel
better but unfortunately, with the eating problems, somehow Karen had
developed diabetes along the way. With a sugar level of 1100 when
she passed away, Karen had definitely developed hyperglycemia (high
blood sugar) and because Karen did not really eat sweets and such, no
one, including Karen herself, had thought about Karen developing
diabetes until it was too late. No one to blame here as people
were trying to help, it just did not end as well as people were
hoping. Karen was winning over the anorexia bulimia (nervosa,
whatever latin terms…) but things just happened that people hadn’t
thought about. No real blame, just sh*t happens. And a side
note here, Karen believed in empathy not sympathy. Sympathy was
for someone that was pathetic and had given up. Empathy is for
someone that keeps trying. Karen was never one to give up and was
always one to encourage others to be better people and not give up on
your/themselves.
And yet another time, Ev Wallace came in and Karen and her were talking
about the fan club and catching up on personal stuff together.
And Ev
was kind of nervous and worried while she was talking. And then
Karen
was like, "Ev, this isn't like you, what's wrong?" and Ev just came out
with a problem with the fan club and Karen started raising her voice
asking questions and then Max came over from across the hall and Max
was like, "I don't know why you keep her. She's old and she's
forgetful and... Sometimes you just need to cut your losses and get rid
of the dead wood" or something like that and Karen was like, "Max, just
go, I can handle this." And then Karen was all upset and
frustrated,
which was why Karen raised her voice, because it was at a school and
not really much privacy to talk alone and Ev was like, "You're going to
fire me aren't you?" and Ev was almost in tears and then I looked over
at
Karen and then I spoke up and I was like, "Ev, that was Max, Max don't
know what he's talking about. How long have you been working for
Karen?" And Ev was like, "about [whatever] years I think,
why?
What good is
that going to do me now? She's going to fire me and then what am
I
going to do?" And I was like, "That was Max that said that, not
Karen
and as you notice, Max isn't in the room anymore. Karen never
said she
was going to fire you. Sure, you made a mistake, but unlike most
people, you have owned up to that mistake. Most people would try
to
hide it and get away with something. You're not trying to get
away
with anything because you were honest and you made a mistake and you
admitted that. You can't buy honesty and think about it, if Karen
got
rid of you she would have to try and train someone else and need to
worry if they were going to be honest or not. Karen already knows
you're honest and you're already trained and you care about what you're
doing or else you wouldn't worry like you do so much so why would Karen
want to get rid of you and take a chance with someone else?" And
Ev
looked over at Karen and said, "Do you really mean it?" And Karen
smiled then she looked away from me over to Ev and was like, "I
couldn't have said it better myself. Like he said. I
couldn't replace
you. We all make mistakes sometimes and you haven't really made
too
many over the years. You are kind of making up for it with this
one,
but then too, I think you are long overdue because the odds of not
making a mistake in [whatever] years isn't even thinkable. I can
just
write a
check and you'll need to cash it when you get back and put it in there
to cover the difference. Don't let Richard know though. You
know how
Richard can get about money. I'm glad you came to me about
this.
It'll be just our little secret, OK?" And Ev was like, "OK.
Thank you
very much. I don't know what I was thinking. I should know
better
than that. You and Richard have always been so good and kind to
me. I
should know better. You're good people." And Karen was
like, "Us good
people need to stick together." I think the problem was that Ev
had got a deal on I believe belt buckles so Ev had got a better quality
buckle, but the shipping charge was slightly more as the buckle was a
little heavier. After Ev left, Karen and I talked
and
Karen thanked me for the speech I made. And then Karen said, "I
know
Max came over because he could smell blood and I know how you get too
and then you actually surprised me. I figured that you were going
to
be like Max, but instead of being a shark and going for blood, you were
actually caring and compassionate. And that is the thing, as you
know,
in the business world, if you're caring, they tend to rip you to shreds
and call you weak if you care. The sea of sharks. People in
the
business world tend to be uncaring and the first sign of trouble,
business people feed you to the sharks. It's easy to get caught
up in
that mentality when you are around it all the time. I noticed
that you
noticed too that I wasn't upset at her for making a mistake or the
money or any of that. I was upset because we didn't have any
privacy
to talk about it and I saw that you picked up on that after you started
talking or else you wouldn't have said the things that needed to be
said. Ev is tone deaf if you didn't notice so she hears talking
but she doesn’t know the difference between one voice or another which
was why I got frustrated and raised my voice. But people have
feelings and there's more to life than
money and
I was so proud of you because you realized that money can't buy
honesty. After that speech you gave, I let Ev off the hook.
She's a
good person and like I said, us good people need to stick
together.
That's priceless and don't let her know, but she's still got a few more
mistakes she's paid for in advance after this. It was just an
oversight. Her heart’s in the right place like someone else I
know. She's such a
sweetheart."
[Not sure when either so I will stick it here] I believe at
some time Mr. Eugene Klein (Gene Simmons), a former teacher himself,
was at the school. Very wonderful person and he was good with
kids and fairly talkative. I also have a feeling that when he
said his name, Eugene, it kind of took me by surprise as he has that
deep, manly voice and Eugene just came out smooth so it sounded kind
of different and unexpected when he said it. I was expecting
something like Jack or whatever with his deep voice. Anything’s
better than Adrian anyway. I know he was wearing a suit if he was
there. I am also pretty sure he just kind of hung out that day
with Karen. I do remember Gene talking a bit about his
experiences during the Holocaust, but I don’t remember the details
about it now, just that I remember Gene saying that he was a survivor
of the Holocaust and that Gene was Jewish. Karen was
Christian. I also remember Karen saying to Gene something like,
“as you used to be a teacher, maybe you could watch me teach and give
me a couple pointers as far as technique and such.” or something like
that. I also think this was the talk where Karen and I came up
with the idea of me being the ‘gopher’ during meetings with people; you
know; go for this; go for that and let the grown ups talk as it can be
a little awkward with a kid hanging around. Well, kind of
anyway. I can’t remember for sure which one, but I used one of my
‘funny’ greetings I believe (Joseph Konyu, proctologist, one of those)
and I know that Gene said, “Not funny Ace.” And then I believe I came
out with, “Why do women have two holes close together?” and Gene
repeated it back in his calm voice and then he kind of opened his hand
up for the ‘I don’t know’ type gesture. Then of course I said,
“So when she gets drunk you can carry her home like a six pack.” and
Gene lost it and let out what appeared to be a huge belly laugh and
Karen and I laughed too. Afterwards, Gene said, “Gas. Now
that was funny” in his usual
calm type voice. People don’t normally expect a teenage boy to
come out with such stuff, but it happened. But, um, yeah, I was
honestly corrupted before I met Karen even though I was almost fifteen
years younger than her. Karen and I both loved a challenge and
Gene was a demon and demons don’t laugh, so… We tried.
And I am 90% sure that Karen and I met Wayne Newton too. And as
each meeting has a story… I am pretty sure as I believe this was
the one time where I was getting jealous. I remember Wayne
talking with Karen on Karen’s side of her desk and then Wayne was
mentioning how if Karen would be with him that Karen would have a
castle and servants and be like a queen and all this stuff until
Karen’s heart was content and I saw sparkles start to come out of
Karen’s eyes while Wayne was saying all of these wonderful things to
Karen and those were MY SPARKLES!!! Yes, I was getting very
jealous of Wayne and it was the only time I remember being like that
around Karen. And then Wayne said to Karen, “You can have all
this with me, but I have just one rule. No one touches my
hair.” And the sparkles and all just left Karen’s eyes at that
point and I didn’t feel jealousy any more.
Karen was well known for playing practical jokes and Wayne
pulled a good one on Karen. And later too I joked with Karen a
little
and I said, "I could see that you wanted to take off your shoes and run
barefoot through his hair after that." But it was a practical
joke and
it did work, but truthfully it wasn't about looks or such but Karen and
Wayne were a bit different and not that compatible. Wayne also
did
feel kind of bad about it as Karen almost broke down afterwards, but
really too, at the time, Karen and Wayne didn't really know each other
so Karen should have known something was up with what Wayne was saying
and so should I have known or else why jealousy on my part. It
was a
good joke as Wayne did catch Karen (and me) off guard with that
one. And part
of the almost breaking down is because Karen prided herself on her
practical jokes and Wayne got Karen good with this one, so Karen's
pride was hit a little bit as she really didn't have a good practical
joke to get Wayne back with at the time. The
reason I remember
this now is that I remember watching National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation
in 1998 and I was watching with other people and for some odd reason
when Wayne was ‘hitting on’ Mrs. Griswold, I had never seen the movie,
I and other people noticed that I repeated what Wayne said almost word
for word before he said it in that movie without
me seeing that movie before.
And Mary Martin visited as well. Mary had
on her Peter Pan
costume with the leotard and such. Karen was getting a little
jealous
as Mary is a tomboy too, but Karen was, is and always will be my
favorite tomboy. But I asked Mary if she ever felt that wearing a
leotard might seem a little more exposing and awkward than other types
of costumes or such. And Karen was kind of mocking me behind her
desk
making googoo eyes and such when I asked, but Mary said something like,
"Good question. I haven't really thought about that much. A
little
bit as sometimes a guy's leotard can be a bit more revealing than I
might like. I actually prefer wearing a leotard as they are made
for
dancing and other costumes can be a bit bulky and difficult to work
with at times. Long dresses are probably the most difficult to
work
with because your feet can easily get caught in the dress and over you
go." And Karen asked Mary if Mary was ever afraid of
heights. And
Mary was like, "You learn that your best friends are the stage hands as
they are the ones that work the ropes and the pullies and the
wires.
If anything goes wrong with the pullies or the wires, the stage hands
become your best friends because they are the ones that can help you
out the most if something goes wrong. I have had a couple mishaps
over
the years and I've learned to trust the stage hands to help get me
through. We have to work together because if I am up there and I
move
right and they pull me left it can get a little awkward sometimes if
you aren't working together. I've had a few falls so I'm not
afraid of
heights and I don't think I ever was really. But I've learned to
always develop a trust with the stage hands whenever I'm doing a
show." And I'm not sure if it was during the visit or Karen and
me
talking afterwards, but I remember saying the classic, "Why did Peter
Pan go flying? You'd fly too if you got whacked in the peter with
a
pan." and of course Karen's teacher name was "Wendy" so the classic,
"Look Wendy, I can fly. Well, almost anyway. Maybe if I get
out on a
ledge like that guy on the 6 o'clock news did." Karen and her
step
cousin Wendy watched "The Days of Our Lives" and I believe "As the
World Turns (or As the Stomach Churns as I used to call it)" as their
soap operas in 1978 to 1979. When Karen came back around in 1981,
Karen and Wendy added "Dynasty" to the list of taped soaps as Karen had
met Larry Hagman's mother, Mary Martin. Wendy and Karen talked a
lot
about Karen's meeting people. Karen's step cousin Wendy always
loved
hearing Karen's personal stories about how Karen met this person or
that person over the years. Wendy wasn't "star struck" so to
speak but
Wendy always liked hearing how celebrities were just regular people
like her and her cousin Karen were just regular people too. And
yes,
as Mary Martin was a tomboy, Karen was a little bit jealous but not
that much really. Karen could see my thoughts so she knew I was
just
being friendly, but not that kind of friendly. Well, maybe a
little
bit 'that kind of friendly' but not that much as she was a tomboy after
all and as Karen would say, "all you men are all alike" and I guess it
is kind of true.
Otto and Elfriede Frank? I seem to remember
an older couple (triple?)
and
they had gray hair.
I don't remember hearing that Otto and Elfreide Frank left Basel,
Switzerland
though in 1978 or 1979. If it was, it was only a short visit, but
may have been someone else even. The ? (question mark) is because
I am
not quite sure if Otto was there or not as I seem to remember a guy
with a long gray beard (which may have been a translator) being present
and doing most of the talking. Long time ago (41 years ago or
more). And I remember now, September 9,
2020, that the translator was a local guy named Gary Yoggi. But
the name Elfreide rings a bell now for some reason on
August 31, 2020. I know too that Karen was a big fan of "The
Diary of Anne Frank" as that was kind of the inspiration as to why
Karen kept a diary herself for reference. I seem to remember that
Karen had mailed out a letter to the Anne Frank Foundation and Karen
had mentioned a donation but forgot to include a check. I am
pretty
sure that Otto and Elfriede flew in and visited Karen at the
school.
I believe the return address on the letter Karen sent was Karen's step
cousin Wendy's address. Another side note, the Franks spoke
German (dutch) and I picked up a
pocket German - English / English - German dictionary at Woolworth's I
believe (I studied French, so I had kind of wondered about why I had a
pocket German / English dictionary). It was a messy meeting if I
remember correctly as Karen had forgot to include the donation check in
her letter, but also Karen hadn't figured that they would fly out from
Switzerland to the United States either. And then the language
barrier
as they spoke dutch and we spoke english. The pocket dictionary
helped
a bit and I believe I still have that dictionary. A huge
misunderstanding on both sides but also I think it did kind of work out
in the end. The Franks had actually wanted to meet Karen anyway
as
Karen was a celebrity too and like Anne (Otto's daughter) was wishing
to be, Karen was a working woman in a man's world so to speak.
The
language barrier was the tough part, but Karen knew just enough dutch
and the Franks knew just enough english that I think it worked out in
the end. Almost, as I think the Franks were hoping to meet
Richard, that great pianist, as well but Richard was still out in
California. Karen apologized for the misunderstanding and I
believe
Karen
wrote a check in deutschmarks for the Franks to take back with
them.
I believe Karen also wrote a smaller check to Gary Yoggi as well.
The really rough part is that I don't think there is any way to speak
german or dutch without sounding stern or angry. It is just the
way
the language sounds to an english speaking person when speaking in
Dutch / German. And the moral of the story is that if you have
someone that is missing from Czechoslavakia and two bears, one male,
one female, the czech is in the male (as Karen had forgot to put a
check in the mail). Yes, truthfully, if you don’t want a silly
joke by Yakov Smimoff going through your head, then don’t make silly
mistakes again.
I did not meet Frenda (Franklin) Leffler as Karen
told me that she
referred to Frenda as “The Town Crier” and that Frenda would tell
everyone anything Karen told her (and sometimes get it mixed up).
As
Karen said, “a
blabbermouth”. Frenda was more of a princess type whereas Karen
was
more of the tomboy type. As Karen was trying to keep me a secret
because of
my age, naturally Karen never told Frenda about me. Karen also
didn't
want Frenda to find out about Richard seeing Mary Rudolph either as
Karen figured Frenda would blow that out of proportion as Mary was an
adopted first cousin and not an actual first cousin and Frenda ususally
got long or involved stories mixed up a little when she told them to
others. Karen also tried not to talk about others around Frenda
either
as far as friendships and personal stuff. Frenda wasn't a bad
person,
but Karen knew better than to tell Frenda anything confidential or
personal if it could be avoided. If Karen
wanted people to know something (whether true or not), Karen would tell
Frenda. I think Karen and I had this talk
just after Phil Ramone
started on the solo album so would have been the second week of May
1979 I believe.
I also have a feeling that I also met Burt Bacharach as I remember him
sitting and talking next to Karen in 1979 but I am not positive on that
as I can’t remember a story to go with it yet. Karen had an
autograph book, instead of autographs, I tried to collect stories.
Yet another time, Karen brought up her dating Steve Martin. Karen
was
like, "We tried, but it just didn't work out between us. We got
along
and cared about each other and all that but it just didn't work
out."
Karen also talked about Steve's "You don't know Jack" skits and how
Steve had kind of embellished slightly about his meeting Karen's great
uncle Jack Carpenter, but only slightly. But Karen also said that
they
were together and got along, but there just wasn't anything special
there. Karen was like, "When I meet a guy I usually get harps or
violins or wedding bells or such and I just never got that with Steve
and Steve didn't have that with me either. There just wasn't any
zing
there so we both just agreed to break it off after about three weeks I
think it was. We never had any hard feelings or such towards each
other. It just didn't work out between us. He's a nice guy
but there
just wasn't any real chemistry there between us." And then
Karen
was like, "With you, it was wedding bells at first, but more like a
whole symphony orchestra now." And I was like, "Me too.
Wedding bells
at first and then Beethoven's 9th, Ode To Joy?" And Karen was
like,
"Yeah, I've been trying to think of the name of that." And then
we
both started going, "Da da dum de da da dum de da da dum de
da..." And of course some people started walking passed the room
and
looking at Karen and me kind of funny like usual.
XXIII. Brother Richard
visits
A little while later,
during either english class or dismissal homeroom
(end of school), my teacher got a call from the office about someone
coming up to the room to see her. Next thing that happened was a
guy in a light
brown / tan suit carrying flowers walking into the classroom. Of
course, "Miss Bihuniak has
a boyfriend?" was said, but my teacher said to the class after he
walked in, "This is my brother, Richard, who just came in from out of
town." My teacher had dark hair, and Richard had blond
hair. But during one of our talks before, my teacher had said she
wears a wig at school and that her hair was a very light strawberry
blonde color. Actually she said, "Do you like my hair?" and then
she took her wig off and said, "If you like it,
you can have it. It's a wig. See."
Her hair was
almost pure blonde with just a slight red tint to
it. Anyway, my teacher told her brother that she would see him
after school and she did. My teacher and I talked the next day
and she said how she had just taken off without telling others where
she had gone because she just felt like she needed to get away.
Her family was not mean or anything to her, my teacher just had a lot
of things to think about and needed a break from her family always
putting their 'two cents in' and such. It was just her brother
that arrived and not her parents too. Richard and her talked all
night and my
teacher was tired the next day, but glad that she and her brother had
talked. Her brother agreed to let her have her space and such and
was just glad that his sister was alright and doing better. There
was family close by, so it wasn't like my teacher was all alone or
such. My teacher had already told me that she had a brother, so
there were not any 'bells or whistles' going off about her having a
brother named Richard in a light brown / tan suit (maybe a burgundy
suit though, been a while).
Karen also talked about her and
Richard growing up after I found out who she was, not at this
time. Karen was the extrovert and Richard was the
introvert. Their parents would always have to encourage Richard
to get out and do things. Karen was usually bouncing off the
walls and full of energy. Richard was the sensitive one while
Karen usually cracked a lot of jokes. While growing up, Karen
always thought that they favored Richard, but after growing up Karen
realized that Richard was the one that usually needed the encouragement
and Karen pretty much could take care of herself. Karen would be
out playing baseball and such while Richard would be just sitting
around inside the house. And a secret between Karen and her
mom. Karen said that her mom used to get tired of Richard just
sitting around the house, so mom would embarrass Richard by making a
big fuss over him. Richard would get worried about being thought
of as a mama’s boy in front of others, so Richard would get out of the
house rather than have someone see him getting ‘babied’ by his
mom. In private Karen would tease Richard too about it and go,
“Oh Richie Witchy, you are so wonderful and fabulous, do you need mommy
to tuck you into bed?” There definitely wasn’t any jealousy there
as Karen was a tomboy and wasn’t much for being praised or being fussed
over. As Karen would say, “I’d rather be yelled at than fussed
over.” And as Karen was a tomboy, Richard would pick back.
Brothers and sisters usually pick on one another. No harm
done. Just picking and nothing really cruel or hurtful. In
later years after Richard and Karen had won awards and such, mom was
truly proud of Richard and Karen too. And mom also knew that
Karen didn't like being fussed over or the center of attention while
others were around. It was also a private joke between Karen and
mom that Karen knew that mom used to purposely do that stuff to Richard
to get Richard to get out of the house and Karen would play along with
her mom and get Richard into thinking he was going to be called a
"Mama's boy" by everyone. Karen and mom did that to Richard
because they didn't want Richard to be a 'bump on a log' like
dad. It worked. And Karen’s and mom’s big secret between
themselves was the saying that, “Behind every successful man is a
strong woman.” And Karen knew that her and her mom were the
strong women that helped Richard become successful. But it would
be arrogant to say such things in public, so Karen and her mom just
kept it to themselves. Also, Richard would
do all the behind the scenes work and
match the music with Karen's voice, but people would say what a great
voice Karen had and ignore Richard and his contributions. So at
times,
Richard would feel left out or underappreciated while doing more work
for less credit as the more stuff Richard figured out as far as
instrumentation and harmonies and such, the better Karen and the
Carpenters's music sounded and the more praise Karen would get for her
singing because that oboe came in at just the right time to make
Karen's voice sound really sad instead of just sad. Richard was
just
the piano player? Not hardly. Karen and mom tried to make
sure that Richard didn’t feel too left out or even worst, unappreciated.
And another joke here as Karen became the successful
singer for a successful group while hoping for her big break to be able
to pitch in major league baseball for I believe it was about $12,500
dollars a year for the average major league player at the time in the
early to mid 1970s. And honestly, not a
joke, but if a team had offered to
sign Karen, Karen would have quit the Carpenters to play baseball in
the majors as a pitcher (she had a 77 mph fastball I believe, which,
yeah, was about 2 mph faster than Randy Jones who was the slowest
pitcher in the majors at the time. Richard, mom and the music biz
lucked out). Secrets. Yes,
truthfully, Karen and
mom were actually closer than Richard and mom were. And of
course, "Richard is the
businessman. I am the diplomat." Because they were cooped
up on tour a lot, Karen and Richard had their routines and they would
work together. Sometimes it would be Karen's social skills and
other times it would be Richard's knowledge. Karen and Richard
each had their strong points and weaknesses and they would try to work
with each other's strengths in certain areas. Richard had his
things. Karen had her things. Karen had her voice and
Richard worked the music and sounds around Karen's voice. Richard
and Karen always tried to compliment each other and work together as
much as possible. Karen and Richard were always very close and
always tried to help each other out whenever possible. I think it
was around mid November 1978 when Karen told me that she had peaked in
my personal files. Apparently, according to Karen, with the Myers
- Briggs test, I had tested as an INFJ which was and probably still is
the rarest personality type. I believe that Karen also told me
that both her and Richard had tested INFJ as well for this test.
INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judgemental.
The opposite would be ESTP or Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking and
Prospecting. Later they added A (Assertive) or T (Turbulent)
which Karen and I would have been Assertive or type A. Karen and
I both thought of ourselves as extraverted, but I guess that is part of
the test as Karen and I could be left alone too so we really didn’t
have to have people around all the time like a true extravert.
Karen and I were both outgoing people but we also enjoyed our privacy
more I guess you could say on this test. And also, Karen
told me once, "Because Richard is the businessman,
Richard tries to keep up a public image of being mean and ruthless even
to his own family. Richard feels the image helps him make better
deals
than if other people saw him as being caring and such. I go along
with
it, but I know the real Richard has a heart of gold and it's tough for
me sometimes to read stuff written about him because the Richard I know
doesn't have a mean bone in his body."
XXIV. Cubby and the
pajama party
I am also not sure if it
was before or after 'open house', but I know
it was after Paul Williams below. I came into homeroom one time
and a guy was sitting there next to Karen, side
by side behind her desk, and he looked a lot like
a
guy I knew named Bill Benson and had the same voice only Bill Benson
stuttered and this guy didn't stutter. And
Karen said, "I would like you to meet someone." And the guy spoke
up and said, "Have you ever seen the Mousketeer Show on TV, well I'm
Cubby." And I think I said something like, "You're the guy before
and I'm Annette." And then I did a kind of curtsy. And then
I think
Cubby said something like, "She was definitely a talented young
lady." Cubby was clean shaven and short
hair and such and looked
like a slightly older version of himself on the Mousketeer Show.
Cubby
wore extra stuff, including a wig, when he played drums for the
Carpenters. I actually do not remember much
of this conversation as
far as the talking itself. I do remember that Cubby was a very
down to earth person and was very relaxed around Karen. I also
remember Karen was very relaxed around Cubby. Karen and Cubby
were just down to earth people. Since the Carpenters were not
touring, Cubby was kind of lost in limbo but seemed to be trying to
keep as busy as he could while leaving things open just in case the
Carpenters started touring or recording again. Cubby played drums
for the Carpenters. In all honesty, this was the most relaxed I
had ever seen Karen. The atmosphere was very calm and it just
felt like we were all just sitting around in a pajama party and just
swapping stories and such. I think most of the time I just
listened and let them talk. Karen was excited and glad to see
Cubby and was just so relaxed at the same time but also seeming a
little nervous too. I was feeling
relaxed and such too, but too relaxed and you feel like sleeping and
during the talk between Karen and Cubby, I definitely got many urges to
cuddle up with Karen, but we couldn't. Cubby was just a wonderful
person and very down to earth like Karen was. But also, I could
remember for a little
while at the end before Cubby left that Karen got very nervous and was
pacing back and forth. The reason why she was like this for a
little while was because she was in the awkward position of telling
Cubby that the band didn't need him now so they were going to have to
let him go for the time being and Karen was nervous about Cubby being
upset about it. And I think after hearing this from Karen
that Cubby said, "I'm a little disappointed because you are like family
to me, but I understand. I have some other things to keep me
busy, but I am going to miss touring with you. It has been a lot
of fun over the last few years and if you start touring again
definitely give me a call. I am definitely going to miss you
guys, but I guess it can't be helped. Richard put you on the spot
didn't he?" or something like that and Karen kind of shook her head
yes. And then I think Cubby said something like, "It is bad
timing with me just getting married again and all, but there really
isn't a good timing for something like this anyway. I am glad you
told me now instead of beating around the bush. I'll figure
something out for now and I'm really going to miss you guys." And
Karen was like, "I'm really going to miss you too Carl."
And
after
Cubby left, Karen said to me something like, "I'm glad you were here
because I was really nervous about how Cubby was going to take this and
he seemed to take this better than I thought he would. My brother
Richard felt it would be better if Cubby heard it from me so I was the
one that got the dirty job of telling Cubby about letting him go for
now. It is kind of my fault that we aren't touring anyway, but I
am a bit more diplomatic than Richard and it was probably better if
Cubby heard it from me. Cubby and I were really close on tour and
I almost lost it there, but I could feel you trying to hug me and it
kept me from breaking down." And then she just sat down on her
desk in front of me and then leaned over and said, "Thank you."
And then she stood back up and went around and sat in her chair and put
her feet up on her desk and just leaned back and relaxed in her chair
with a wonderful smile on her face.
I just
kind of scooched in my chair and put my right hand
under my chin and leaned to the right and I looked right at Karen and
just rewound my thoughts back to that pajama party feeling and I had
this big smile on my face. Karen was like, "My pajamas are red,
just
so you know." And I was like, "They look
great over on the beige carpet."
And she was like, "You cheater. You're shagging me. I
thought you
said no quickies." And I was like, "Couldn't be helped, we only
got
about 5 to 10 minutes before the others show up. Check again,
we're on
a nice soft persian rug, it shows off your freckles better." And
she
was like, "Thanks. I could actually use a quickie about now but
don't
let it get to be a habit and shag carpet makes me itch. You think
of
everything. Did you at least bring the champagne, glasses, and
candles?" I was
like, "Of course, but I snuck the champagne in a grape juice bottle
just in case someone saw. They are over in the corner on the
stand and I didn't light the candles. You
know how we like to
move
around. Remember
last time when we knocked the candles over and set the drapes on fire
and the fire department showed up? And listen, skyrockets in
flight."
And she was
like, "I
thought I heard that in the background. I love that song too,
Starland
Vocal Band, nice choice." We never actually had 'our song' as we
never
got that far to have a song. And then she put her hand over her
mouth and
started moaning and her legs on the desk tightened up. I kind of
put
my arms together on the desktop chair and kind of arched my back a
bit and looked over at her. She then
closed her eyes, leaned her head back, and lost it.
A little while later we both collapsed and relaxed.
She kind of
cuddled up in her chair and I kind of put my head down on my arms on
the desktop. I think we both said, "Thanks, I needed that." at
the
same time. And then I think I said, "We could both probably use a
nap." And she was like, "I think you're
right." I went over and flipped off the light switch and sat back
down. And of course people started coming into the
room about five minutes after that, and we both tried to sit
up straight,
but we didn't do so well. We tried anyway.
XXV. Open house and a
lesson about 'little sisters'
And then the 'open house'
night. I had
pretty much warned my
teacher about my parents and it was funny because my teacher had said,
"I get to meet the folks tonight. I'm actually pretty
excited. I know it isn't a date or anything, but still I'm like a
nervous little school girl again and it feels great. How do I
look? Are my bangs alright?" And I was
like, "Your hair is fine. You always look great to me. I
really don't look much like
my parents, maybe my mother a
little bit, but you'll see." And I know at the time that I knew
she was Karen Carpenter, so I probably ought to move this down a little
in the timeline here. Also, because I knew is why I remember
saying to her, "My mom is a big Carpenter's fan and she probably will
recognize you." And my teacher was like, "I'll be fine. I
know how to handle that stuff. You'll see.
But in the future when I ask you how I look just say you
look great. Even if my hair is lopsided and I look like a mess,
just
say I look great or else we may never get out the door."
And I was
like, "You're right. You look great." And she was like,
"Now you're
catching on. If you haven't noticed, I've been grooming you to be
my
husband." And I was like, "If you haven't noticed, I've been
briding
you to be my wife too, so I guess we're even." And then I left to
go
home so that I could come back later for the open house and she stayed
at the school.
And so, the big
night. I come in and introduce my mom and dad and my
sister. And then she looks over to me and I look over with a kind
of oops look on me and I am like, "This is my little sister,
Robin. Becky, Rebecca, is my cousin." And she was like,
"Oh, that explains it. I have an older brother myself and I
noticed Becky and Ace didn't look alike. I'm so glad I got to
meet Ace's sister finally. I'm a little sister myself and I
always hated being called little. Can I get a hug from
you?" And my sister kind of smiled at my teacher and then gave
her a big hug. And then my father just kind of stands there, says
"hello" and shakes hands. And my mother goes, "You look kind of
familiar, have we met before somewhere?" And my teacher was like,
"I kind of look like a lot of different people. I'm sure if we'd
met I would have remembered you." And I looked over at my teacher
with that kind of 'I told you so smile' and then my mom just said,
"Yeah, you probably look like someone I saw on TV or something.
You do have that kind of face I guess." And I just had this look
of relief on my face and smiled at my teacher. And of course from
my mother, "My son isn't a problem, is he? If he is, just let us
know and we'll straighten him right out for you." And my teacher
kind of giggled a little bit and said, "Oh no, he's definitely not a
problem. He's actually very helpful. If I need something,
all I have to do is ask and he's right on it. Anything at
all. He's a good kid." And I nearly started giggling on
that one when she said 'kid'. Now, several
times before me and my teacher had talked
about sneaking her into the house and her living under my bed.
And
then my mother spoke up, "Is there any way you could come over to the
house and get him out of his room? I'll give you anything you
want
just name it." And this was without my mother knowing it was
Karen
Carpenter. I've seen videos of Karen winning the Grammys and such
and
I can say that the happy look on Karen's face after my mom said that
was at least ten times happier than when Karen won the Grammys.
Karen
forgot about her low Marlene voice and was just all bubbly and said, "I
would love to, I really would, but I have other commitments after
school so I can't right now. I'll work on him though and if he
doesn't
straighten up, I'll definitely be over and he knows it." And then
Karen and my mom just looked over at me and they both were giggling
together. So I kind of covered my mouth and
then I dropped my hand down and said, "Well, we probably ought to go
and see my sister's teacher now." And Karen was like, "I
wish you could stay longer and chat more but I know you should
go. Nice meeting you." And Karen gave me that "You're mine
now" look
and we left and went to my sister's
teacher. Close call, but it all worked
out. She met the
folks.
The next morning of course we
talked. I
started off with, "See, I
told you when my mom meets someone she has an opinion of them and she
definitely likes you. I know I'm
a dead man now. I could see you two plotting my demise."
And my
teacher was like, "Demise? that sounds a bit ominous for someone that's
only 13." And I'm like, "Exactly, I'm
only 13
and already I got my mom and the woman I love ready to start picking
out
china patterns together. How am I going to sow my wild oats when
I get
older with a house with a white picket fence, a two car garage, 2 point
4 kids, and a dog by the time I get old enough to have wild
oats to sow or whatever I got?" And I have this big smile on my
face. And
my teacher starts smiling back and says, "That is serious. I
better
get some curtains and doilies ready to help spruce up the place a
bit.
I'd better start knitting some baby booties too. 2 point 4
kids?" And I was like, "Yup, a boy, girl and a point 4
midget that we keep in the basement
just like every other typical american family out there
according to the statistics. Statistics don't lie you
know." And
she's laughing slightly and saying, "I had no idea you'd given this so
much thought. I'm impressed." And I was like, "Well, you
impressed my
mom, that's for sure." My teacher was
like, "I think you'll survive. I can see you look like your mom,
but you have your dad's eyes
somewhat." And I was like, "Yeah, my dad's nickname is Bud, and
that was where Bubby came from. My grandfather is big too.
I guess I'm the runt of the litter, but when I was younger people
thought I would grow up to be big like my dad and grandfather, but I
didn't." And then I was like, "Yeah, I was a bit worried about
when my mom kind of recognized you, but she didn't put it together and
that was a relief. You did wonderful on that one." And my
teacher was like, "See, I told you." And then my teacher had a
real stearn voice and nasty look on her face and said, "I don't ever
want to hear you call her your little sister again. I hated that
name and I still do. Understand?" And then she picked up a
paperback book off her desk and threw it at me. I didn't even
duck and just let it hit me in the chest and then I picked up the book
and put it on her desk and said, "Understood." And then she said,
"Yeah, I saw that look on your face when I said kid and I meant it
too. Even if your sister acts up sometimes, can you blame
her? How would you feel being called little all the time?"
And then she picked the book back up and threw it at me again and hit
me right between the eyes and said, "Bulls-eye" and threw her hands up
in the air over her head; she was wearing a white sweater over a red
dress.
And I picked the book back up and put the book back on her desk
again. And then I said,
"Thanks, I hadn't thought about that." And
then she said, "If I ever hear you call her your little
sister again, I am going to hurt more than your feelings, got
it?" And
I said, "Noted." And then she said, "I would definitely run out
of
stuff on my desk to throw at you if I ever find out you called her your
little sister again, got it?" And I was like, "I definitely got
it,
right between the eyes." And then she
started to
giggle and she had that big
old smile on her face again. She made her point and she also knew
that I knew that she was a tomboy and could definitely have thrown a
lot harder than she did. And really, she threw like a guy, not
one of those girly throws with a limp wrist, but not really a hard
throw either. And then she asked, "How do you
think your parents would feel if they found out you were flirting with
an older woman?". And I was like, "All you would have to do is
just tell my mom you were Karen Carpenter and she would probably hogtie
me to the bed and tell you to 'Have at it.'" And then I
continued, "I don't bring girls home and such, so they would probably
be glad I was at least doing something. Most of the time anymore,
I just sit in my room by myself like my mom said. But if they
found out you
were actually Karen Carpenter, you could pretty much do what you wanted
with me. Like my mom said already, just
name it. But really, my parents aren't the
problem. It's
the area. Small area and everyone talks. The only way we
could get away with it is if only once. And honestly, only once
is not an option between us and we both know it. You could
definitely not be a one night stand with me." And of course,
people start coming into the room for homeroom again, so the talk
ended.
I also seem to remember Karen
stopping by the house one day
and Karen going upstairs to visit with Lois the
secretary in
the upstairs apartment. I am also pretty sure that Karen came in
my
room and saw all the Beatle pictures I had hanging on my wall. It
was
kind of awkward because there Karen was, and there was my bed,
and...
well it was a kind of short visit if I remember right. Um, the
temptation was too great so I definitely got out of my room that
time.
Actually, I snuck Karen out the back door rather than have Karen go
through the smoke again. Karen and I joked for a bit afterwards
about sneaking her out the back door. Karen also knew that my
parents smoked and that I stayed in my room to
get away from the cigarette smell. After coming through the
house, Karen was turning a bit green from the smoke smell as she wasn't
used to it. I am glad she didn't get used to it either. I
think Karen was kind of shocked too because I think she was figuring
that I had girly pictures and stuff all over, but I didn't. I
think
Karen said something like, "I think my brother Richard would love your
room". And it was kind of another shock because Karen and I were
so
much alike and Richard and Karen were kind of opposites just like my
sister and me were kind of opposites too.
Karen and I also both realized that Karen was not going to fit under my
bed. I couldn't even fit under there.
I kind of escorted Karen up around the corner and up to Lois' apartment
upstairs.
The joke really was that Karen and I weren't that sneaky. I can't
remember the exact talk yet, but when we finally got up to Lois' and
Ed's apartment, we were laughing so hard that a herd of
elephants couldn't have covered up all of our noise. The whole
neighborhood probably heard Karen and I sneaking around that
time. But
Karen didn't want to be seen out in front of the house. So we
literally had dogs barking, people yelling to shut the dogs up but also
to see if someone was trying to break into their house, and all kinds
of mayhem for about a 3 to 4 block radius at about 8 or 9 o'clock at
night. It was just sheer pandemonium in the area because we
'sneaked' and we made so much noise sneaking around that the whole area
was on red alert looking for burglars and such with all the ruckus that
we created going maybe about 50 feet from one door to another, the back
way instead of just walking around 70 feet the front way with more
lighting and far fewer obstacles. So we got
into the apartment and Karen just loses it and is rolling around on the
floor in front of the kitchen cabinets and laughing hysterically.
I am leaning against the counter by the door and I am laughing so hard
that tears are running down my face while I am grabbing onto the
counter to keep from rolling around on the floor too. Lois is
like, "Are you all right? Ed come here. I think they're
hurt. Could you check on them?" And Ed was in watching TV
in the next room and he jumps over the chair and looks at Karen and he
goes, "She's laughing." And then Ed sees me standing there and he
goes, "He's laughing too, this ought to be good. Can you talk
yet?" And Lois is like, "Are you sure they aren't hurt?"
And Ed is like, "I'm sure. They're both fine. I've got to
hear this one." So our
story
to Lois and Ed when I was finally able to start to talk was,
"Didn't you hear us sneaking up
here (and Karen is pretty much literally rolling around on the floor
laughing and holding onto the kitchen cabinet by the door)? I
don't think we're going to try and sneak around again any time soon are
we Honey? I said, let's go around the front, but no, she wanted
to
sneak around the back, so..." And
I was
like, "The first 'oh shoot' was when Karen realized what I said about
the first step being a long step and she almost fell ass over tin
cup out the door.
The next 'darn' and thud was when Karen ran into the picnic table out
back that
I warned her about. The next 'oh shoot' after the loud bang was
when
Karen backed into the rakes and shovels and knocked them over after she
ran into the picnic table. The 'ouch that hurts' was Karen
stepping on the rake and bonking herself in the head with it.
Then Karen tried to get a running start for the fence and tripped in a
gopher hole and that was where the 'darned gopher hole' came from and
the loud thud from where she hit the fence. Then we realized that
Karen couldn't
make
it over the 4 foot high fence which is where the next 'darn' came in
after her skirt got caught on the fence.
I came up with an idea, so I got down on all fours and Karen stepped up
on my back so that she could get over the fence. The 'you son of
a ...' came from when Karen didn't realize that I was on all fours
looking at dirt but I figured I would have a little fun so I said 'nice
view' as Karen stepped on my back. The loud 'ow that hurt' came
from
me as someone stepped on my back. The
'serves you right' came after Karen got over the fence.
Then after we both finally got over the
fence, Marge, the neighbor that is always asleep by 5 o'clock, was
standing there giving me a lecture
about
how Karen seems to be a nice girl and how I, Bubby, shouldn't be
sneaking nice girls out the back door and that she had some nice boys
that would get their asses whooped if they did such a thing to
her. Then, on our way up here, you know how
most people fall
down the stairs? Well, we're so coordinated that we managed to
fall up
the stairs because we were both laughing so hard.
So
here we are safe and sound at last after sneaking out the back door,
kind of. If Marge is up this late, I'm pretty sure we woke up the
whole neighborhood sneaking around." And of
course Karen and I talked a bit the next day
about smoking and sneaking out the back door
and that kind of stuff. "Last night, America's sweetheart, Karen
Carpenter, was seen sneaking out of
a back door. What is this world coming to? Film at
11. Are the cameras still rolling because I just gotta say she's
got a nice butt too."
Or variations like, "Last night, America's
sweetheart, Karen Carpenter
was caught sneaking out of a movie theatre, well it used to be a movie
theatre but it is now a pile of bricks. In a rare interview,
Karen
had this to say..." And Karen would say
something like, "Is this thing on? Buy US savings bonds for our
future" or such for
several weeks
afterwards. For two weeks afterwards, Karen and I couldn't look
at each other without busting out laughing about it.
Karen and I also started referring to ourselves as the Keystone Kops.
Open House
was definitely
after Paul Williams showing up,
so chronologically it comes after what's next, but I can't really put
it there due to 'story continuity' problems.
XXVI. Paul Williams
visits
One morning, my teacher
asked me if I would help
her out and all
I needed to do was nothing except be there and try to be quiet.
Apparently someone had let someone else know where my teacher
was. My
teacher was very nervous and was literally biting her nails at
times.
My teacher just told me, "Just be quiet and let me do all of the
talking. Don't say a word to anyone about anything you see or
hear.
This will explain everything. Just be quiet as much as possible
and
listen." I
think the guy, Paul Williams, showed up at lunch time at the front door
and my
teacher and I met him at the door and went upstairs to the third floor
and her and Paul tried to sit and talk to one another. Paul
was fairly short and had a rough gravelly voice that was very
distinctive (OK, yes, this was definitely 'The Lawgiver' from the last
Planet of the Apes movie, as well as the guy that did the music for the
"Bugsy Malone" movie with Scott Baio and Jodie Foster and such).
When we got to the room, I checked out the chair to make sure there
wasn't any gum or such because we had a few kids that would stick their
gum on the chairs (and I think I told Paul "I'm looking for whoopee
cushions" or something like that). I remember Paul saying, "I'm a
dwarf." at one point, so like I say, it wasn't starting out too well
and Karen and I were definitely nervous. Paul
also had a tough time trying to fit into
the chairs
with the desktop attached, but I think he managed for a short
while.
Those type of chairs were not designed for shorter people with a larger
waistlined jacket which if I remember right had
some fringes that kept rubbing up against the chair the wrong way.
You know how when you go to get in a chair and if you have a
jacket on, the middle of the jacket inflates outward. Paul's
jacket
nearly inflated like a balloon. A huge waistline. Paul
wasn't a
balloon, himself, but the buckskin jacket he was wearing seemed to have
a mind
of its own. If I
remember right too, one of the fringes got caught on the chair and
ripped off. Karen was like, "Sorry about that. I can try
and fix that for you if you want or just send me the bill." And
Paul was like, "No, that's fine, it's an old jacket anyway." or
something like that and Paul put the ripped off fringe in his jacket
pocket and said something like, "I'll just put this away for safe
keeping" and then tapped his jacket on the pocket with his hand.
Karen and I were both getting really nervous as it was
not going well with the old wooden back and top chairs with a metal
frame versus Paul's jacket. When
we first met, my
teacher told Paul that I was her 'lookout' and I was just there to make
sure no one came in on their conversation. Paul had a dark brown
leather satchel with papers in it and I played lookout by the
door.
Paul asked who I was and Karen came out with "He's one of my
students and I figured we could use a lookout. He's
harmless. I can
trust him to keep quiet." (I think she said harmless.) And Paul
started out with talking about how
my teacher was tough to get a hold of. My teacher responded with,
"I am
using my paternal grandmother's maiden name so
that people don't know who I am. It's worked so far. My
lookout doesn't
even know who I am yet. Just a couple family members is
all." After a
short
while and introductions and such, we moved from the classroom on the
third floor to the auditorium on the first floor. Anyway, we went
inside the auditorium and I continued in my
"Best Supporting Actor" role as lookout, standing by the door in case
someone may walk in. The door was at the top of the
auditorium, and Paul and my teacher, Karen, went down to the bottom
towards the stage. Paul asked, "Is there a baby grand
piano
around anywhere? I just want to make sure your voice is still
OK." And
my teacher said, "There's an old upright piano here, will that
work?"
And Paul sat at the piano and kind of tested it and said, "It's a
little out of tune, but it will do I guess." And while saying
this, Paul
was tinkling a couple of the higher keys, I believe E and F an octave
above middle C, and you could hear that
the E note was a little flat. Then Paul hit
a few
notes on the piano
and Karen just hummed the notes back. Paul said something like,
"It's
definitely you, Karen, and your voice is as good as ever. Only
you have
that golden voice that is music to my ears." or something like
this. And then, "We don't have much time left, so I will get to
my point of
coming here. I have some papers for you to sign here for a new
contract
if you wish, but I have yet to fill in the amount." Paul then
wrote a
number on a piece of paper and Karen was not interested. Paul
then
crossed that out and wrote another number and then Karen came out with,
"I am very flattered and I know that is a very difficult offer for you
to make, but I need to refuse for now. I have been living in
hotel
rooms and such having to ask where I am sometimes because I have been
on the road so much over the last decade that most of the time, I
really have no idea where I am most of the time. Since I have
been a
school teacher, this is the first time in over a decade that I have
known where I am every morning. I like that feeling and I want to
enjoy
it for at least a little while longer. Music is still in my
blood, but
I just need a break from all the travelling around and such as you
probably know. I just need a rest from all that and a chance to
get my
head back together again. Richard was by a little while ago and I
figured you would be around shortly too. I've even put on a
little
weight and I feel much better now. But I still need a little time
to
think things through and recover from all of the touring over the last
decade or so. I hope you understand, and I definitely understand
that
what you offered is more than generous and I am very grateful, but I
just can't sign anything or make any commitments until I deal with
these inner demons (I think she said inner demons) that keep
sidetracking me. I would probably just end up back in the
hospital
again like last time which wouldn't be good for either of us."
Then
Karen, my teacher, asked Paul, "Could I get your number and is there
any way you can hold onto that contract until I feel I am alright to
perform again without being sidetracked? I really love
performing, but
I know I need a break for at least a little while longer to get my head
straight again. I am not sure how long that may take, but I just
know I
can't do it now. I would definitely end up back in the hospital
again
like before." Paul said something like, "Thank you for your
honesty
Karen; I hadn't thought about that. Take as long as you feel you
might
need. I agree that your
health is more important and that you should take some time off.
When
you feel you are ready again, I will give you my number so you can call
me. No pressure and the offer will still be good." And then
Paul slid
all of the papers into his satchel and my teacher and her lookout saw
Paul to the front door of the school. Near the auditorium door I
remember
Paul leaning over to me and saying something like, "You could learn a
lot from her. She is one tough cookie." After leaving the school,
Paul went around the corner and got into his car and left unseen by
anyone except myself and Karen when he left. Karen thanked me for
helping and 'not talking about it.' It was a "no brainer" for
sure as I didn't want Karen bombarded by a bunch of people all of the
time just because she was a famous singer and drummer and such.
Karen was a wonderful person and very down to earth. And if she
wanted privacy, that was fine with me. I definitely understood
after this. And Karen definitely was telling the truth to Paul
when they talked. I remember when Karen first started teaching
and she was kind of nervous a few times and such. When Paul
showed up, it was the first time Karen had been nervous in quite a
while. I could definitely see that Karen was definitely a more
relaxed person after she had been teaching for a while. And after
Paul left that day, Karen was back to relaxing again. Kicking her
feet up and drinking tea like before. She always liked the longer
skirts and dresses, so don't worry about her feet getting too high off
the ground or
whatever. Karen was a teacher that could relax now and she
definitely had it all covered. Later, (from what I’ve heard from
other sources, January 24, 1979) Richard called Karen up while Richard
was in Topeka Kansas and Richard asked Karen, "What are you doing out
there? How could you forget something important like that?
Do I need to bring you back home where we can keep an eye on
you?" That kind of thing. So Karen said that she didn’t
know what to do after Richard had said, “I quit” before in September
1978 and there was a clause in the new contract about ‘a new album’ and
how were they going to do a new album if Richard had quit and Richard
mentioned the “Christmas Portrait” album being released and I think it
was around January 26th that Jerry Weintraub showed up and Karen signed
the contract. Richard was upset because without Karen signing the
new contract, Karen wasn’t getting royalties from the “Christmas
Portrait” album and such. Richard was still in Kansas and Karen
was still in New York State and Jerry and I got to say hi to each other
again. And it was also an extra unplanned expensive plane trip
that Jerry Weintraub had to make too. And then later around late
March or early April 1979 came the idea for Karen doing a solo album
from Jerry Weintraub (discussed later).
XXVII. Sexual innuendos
and Bible verses
After 'the cat was out of
the bag' so to speak,
Karen and I talked a
bit about it. During the talk, we mainly talked about publicity
and the papers and such which would have been a bad thing and we both
knew it. We also talked about 'sexual innuendos' and although
flattering, could cause problems too if the wrong person overheard us
and got the wrong
idea. Neither one of us wanted anyone, including ourselves, to
get into trouble or have problems and such. She also hoped that
my finding out she was a celebrity wouldn't change things between us
and it didn't as far as I knew. We did have great feelings for
one another and they were honest feelings, but the underage problem was
a real problem especially in a small area of about 12,500 people that
like to gossip. We were both a lot alike. Child-like (not
childish), inquisitive and
adventurous and that kind of stuff. Physically, we always kept
our distance, but we still couldn't quite hide that eye contact we
had. We could just look at each other and know what the other was
thinking and feeling. That magical feeling of truly knowing
someone and them truly knowing you. That kind of eye
contact.
And yes, that eye contact also
included knowing when either
of us was getting horny, in all honesty. And
honestly, every time either of us got horny, the other
got horny too. Quite a few times, she would just say, "I think
you
probably ought to wait until after homeroom to go to your locker.
You'll see." And sure enough, she was right. A few times I
also said,
"You probably ought to sit down for a bit. I think you are about
to
have a dizzy spell. You'll see." And sure enough. It
was just
uncanny that we always seemed to get horny within a
minute or two of each other. Always.
And for those wanting to know (and if
you don't
want to know
just skip to the next paragraph), guys had schlongs, Karen had a
koochie and bosoms (with or without a boulder holder) and Karen used a
pad, not a plug, during her 'visitor' (period, menstrual cycle).
Karen
had heard about 'toxic shock' so she avoided using a plug just in case
but she might use a plug with certain outfits if she had to.
Karen
used to use plugs (insert here through the cardboard tube) before she
heard about 'toxic shock' in the mid to late '70s. Karen also was
not
one to wear clothing that was form fitting or tight. Karen wore
loose
clothing whenever possible. Karen did not like stuff rubbing up
against her skin (which was why Karen preferred 'plugs'). Karen
also
did not like tan lines either. And
yes,
burlap bag and 'granny rag' jokes between Karen and I. Karen and
I
didn't really
'tease'
each other, but with the age problem we just couldn't make physical
contact without Karen possibly getting into trouble (yes, pun
intended). And as we found out in 1981, after first contact we
just
couldn't hold back from wanting more and more and even more and way
even more and...
I remember one time
she was
having a girl talk session with about 3 or 4 girls around her desk just
after english class ended. I was just walking around Karen's desk
to
head to my locker and Karen turned to me and said,
"I was just curious, 10:08?" and I said, "10:06, sorry, I started
it
that time. 12:22?"
And she said, "yup, 12:21. I beat you that time. Sorry
about
that. I
didn't break it did I? You know, your concentration? You
look kind of
lost." And she just had this concerned look on her face and I did
have
this stunned look on my face.
And I was
like, "Not yet that I am aware of, I'm still thinking straight.
Thanks
for asking." And we both kind of lost it and started laughing
after
trying to keep a straight face with each other with these 3 or 4 girls
standing around her desk that had no clue what we were just talking
about. As I was walking out I think one of the girls said
something
like, "That's nice that you and Ace talk Bible verses together. I
think it's sweet." And Karen said, "He's
sweet alright. Nice butt." And one of
the girls said, "Miss Bihuniak, you're being naughty" and
Karen was like, "I call 'em as I see 'em" and
the girls
kind of giggled a
bit. And the good thing is that the girls
just
continued
their girl talk afterwards without missing a beat like nothing had
happened. Later Karen said, "I know I
caught you off guard and I said
no sexual innuendos, but I couldn't resist with them standing
there.
It was just too funny and they didn't have a clue as you noticed.
That
was kind of what drew me to you back when we met. I kind of
noticed
that unlike most of the others here, you have some street smarts and
common sense. Thanks for playing along and not giving me
away. And as
you'll also notice, I kind of have this thing about being considered a
prude and at times I just can't help myself."
And then, another
time, around Halloween, she just said this after
being up all night on the night before (my fault),
"I know you were up all last night and you kept me up all night too for
the same reason. But four times is a bit much. This is
great and all. I
really enjoy it each time. But I think I should have a talk with
your
mother about putting some salt peter in your Wheaties in the
morning."
And I just looked at her and said, "I don't know if it will help or
not, but it might be worth a shot. Do you want her number?"
And she
was like, "No, I am actually kind of enjoying going through puberty
again in a way. It's kind of refreshing really. But it's
been quite a
while for me. I just hope I don't start getting pimples
again." And I
was like, "I hope so too. There's only one way to get rid of
those and
we would definitely get caught and get in trouble for that." And
then
she put her thumb under her chin and her index finger to her mouth and
just said, "I think you ought to sit down now." And she just had
that
look in her eye. And then I was like, "I think you're
right." And I
just scooted around her desk and sat in my chair. And then she
stared
over her desk at me and just said, "I know I started this one, but I
have this strange urge to ask you to stand up and recite some poetry to
the class one of these times." And so I said, "You would,
wouldn't
you?" And then I stood up and said, "Like this? Hark, What
light
through
yonder window breaks?" And she just turned beet red and put her
hand
over her mouth and motioned her other hand for me to sit down. So
I
sat
down. Then she fanned her face with her hand and said, "It sure
got
hot in here all of a sudden didn't it? You really aren't modest
or shy
are you?" And I was like, "Not particularly. I don't really
get
embarassed either. Hey, your voice got a little higher too on
that one." And she was like, "That's actually my normal
voice. You caught me off guard. Well, I'm glad we got that
straightened out. You really do care about me don't you?"
And I was
like, "Yes, I really do care about you a lot. More than I even
know.
This is not a puppy love or crush or or some elaborate scheme to get
into your pants or dress or skirt or whatever you're wearing.
There's
just something truly wonderful about you and I can't help but care
about you. That's all I know for sure. That and I can't
hurt you
without hurting myself. Honestly, it's not an act or whatever, I
really can't."
We had the emotional contact and then some, but we
both
also knew that even just a simple touch on her shoulder, or our hands
coming together and that emotion would have just taken over and we
couldn't stop it in a physical sense. We would have been all over
each
other all of the time. We couldn't have helped it in a physical
sense. Everything else was there except the physical ecstasy, and
honestly, we honestly felt each other without actually physically
touching each other. And of course, many times, we
wouldn't even say
a word and just look at each other. We just knew. We could
sense everything, including if we
were trying to hide something from each other. We
still had our secrets from each other, but some things were just better
left unsaid was all, not really hiding. We
couldn't go beyond
just talking, so talking about going beyond just started driving both
of us crazy, so we tried to avoid that as much as possible.
Luckily, no one else really noticed us staring at
each other like we did. I think keeping my
head down in english class helped a lot to keep others from
noticing. I did kind of
mope around for a bit after finding out she was Karen Carpenter.
I didn't really know why I moped around either, I just remember that I
did. I think it was just because now I knew what this big secret
was after all that time, and that 'thrill of discovery' of what this
secret might be was gone. We did become very close in a very
short time and a lot of it was because we had a lot in common with our
personalities. We were a lot alike so it was like we knew each
other really well and we became comfortable with each other in a very
short time and we could literally talk about anything.
XXVIII. Life's
Embarassing Moments
I think Karen and I had
this talk during
dismissal homeroom just after
my "Hark, what light through yonder window breaks." moment. But
Karen
just started talking about her most embarassing moment. First,
Karen
talked about one of her regrets. One of Karen's friends had dared
Karen to get a tattoo when Karen was younger. Karen was not about
to
be called a chicken. Karen had a small tattoo of a red rose that
was in a
well hidden area. As Karen said, "A regret" as Karen had always
been
about 'God given' and a tattoo was not God given. Karen had a
tattoo
done as a dare and did not recommend compromising your principles just
because of a dare. And to note, At Karen's grave site were a
bunch of
yellow roses. To note also, Karen's favorite color was red and
black. At the time
of Karen's funeral, the
flower
shops
had run out of red roses. Yellow roses were used at Karen's
funeral as the flower
shops
in the area had run out of red roses and it was getting close to
Valentine's Day in 1983. Karen and
Richard did a show and during that show they did a tribute to the
Grease Broadway Show. Karen said that she was in a costume that
had
oversized cleavage and it was just bouncing around all over the place
and really awkward. And she was like, "I don't really understand
what
guys see in big bosoms. They just get in the way. Flopping
all over
the place. It was just so awkward and embarassing. Have you
ever had
any embarassing moments?" And I was like, "First, you know me,
well
actually maybe you don't. I don't really get embarassed. I
had an
incident in a baseball game where I threw the ball and it just went
completely over the backstop which was at least 25 foot high. And
in
second grade I had a girl [Michelle C] that was doing the gotta pee
dance a couple seats over, so I had a boner and of course the teacher
called on me to answer a question so I stood up and, well, the teacher
went running down the hall saying, 'I didn't do it. I didn't do
it.'
and it was actually kind of funny because this teacher had always been
harping on me about how only spawns of Satan like Napoleon and Hitler
wrote with both hands and that I needed to write with just my right
hand. I'm ambidextrous or whatever. Actually, the next year
I jammed
my left finger on a basketball and started writing with my right
hand.
But anyway, I'm not really into big bosoms myself. Butts a little
bit,
not that way, but you know what I mean. But I actually got my
nickname
from Julie Sage, the girl that hangs around with
the Karen that talks to herself in the third person. Anyway, it
was at the end of third grade when I told her
that I needed
a better name other than Andrew, she called me Andrew not Adrian, and
Bubba, she called me Bubba not Bubby. So she said, 'When you look
at a
girl, what's the first thing you look at?' And I said,
'Face' And she
said, 'How does Ace sound?' So that's how that came about.
And I
guess it still holds true because I just love the way your face lights
up when you smile and as you know, I could just spend all day and all
night staring at the sparkles in your eyes when your face lights
up."
And Karen's face was just beet red but she had a big smile and her eyes
were all sparkly. And Karen was like, "I always wondered about
how you
got your nickname. Thanks. I guess that explains what you
see in me.
I always liked my eyes too. That's kind of why my favorite color
is
burgundy red and black, because of my eyes." And I was like, "You
know
how much I love those eyes of yours. I've never really been a
bosom
man honestly. Maybe it was because I started before girls had
bosoms
or whatever, but I've always been a face man expecially the eyes and
smile. I just love a beautiful smile and I like..." And
Karen and I
both said, "Tomboys and mud pies." And then I said something
like,
"Body parts are body parts, but I guess I've always been a hopeless
romantic." And Karen was like, "Me too." And then Karen and
I noticed
someone else walking down the hallway so we just kind of made it look
like I was doing homework and like she was reading her book while we
still looked at each other with big wide smiles.
XXIX. Karen and I,
heart to heart talk
The talk we had after
school after the day Paul
Williams visited went
like this... Karen and I were in the homeroom on the third, top,
floor and everyone left for the day. Karen then went over and
locked the door to the classroom and said, "We need to talk without
anyone bothering us. I locked the door and neither one of us is
leaving until after we talk." I was like, "I understand
completely. You're Karen Carpenter and the last thing either of
us needs right now are the newspapers or the TV cameras turning this
place into a three ring circus. I definitely am not going to say
a word to anyone. Your secret is safe with me." She was
like, "Yes, it is really important that you keep this quiet and I know
you will. Like I said before the meeting, I can trust you.
But I didn't lock the door because of talking about the meeting
earlier. We really need to talk about us. I
keep getting mixed signals from you and I have
been
pulling my hair out wondering about things, and I am just going to ask
straight out and I want honest answers from you. But before I
even ask I am going to say that you have me wrapped around your finger
and I think you know that you could pretty much do what you want with
me. I am pretty much throwing myself at you all of the
time. And if you
only knew what I wanted to do with you. But
anyway, Do you feel any different about me now that you know who I
am?" And I was like, "No. Not at all. I still see
this wonderful person that I enjoy being around. It's still you
on the inside." And she
continued, "And I see the way you look at me and I need to ask, do you
have a crush on me? Please be honest with me." And I was
like, "I am pretty sure this is beyond a crush for both of us. It
is in both of our eyes. We can't fake that. Neither of
us. But the problem is with these feelings I have, I can't hurt
you in any way. That is why I keep my distance. I don't
even dare hold your hand because we both know it would lead to more and
then you would get in trouble and I would feel really terrible about
it. Once we started, there would be no stopping or turning
back. And afterwards, think about Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 13
year old cousin. I can't take that chance with you and you
possibly losing your career and such. You love music too.",
And Karen said, "I remember what happened to Jerry Lee now. I
forgot about that. And what about Paul Yorrick of Peter, Paul and
Mary? She didn't have any ID on her so how was Paul to
know. Paul got a bad rap on that one. He is a really nice
guy. Poor Paul. We're back to the newspapers and such being
a
bad thing again. What newspapers? I don't see any
reporters around here, do you?" And then I continued,
"Funny. Everyone is a comedienne until they make the front
page. And besides, the stripes on your new outfit go the wrong
way and make everyone, including you at even 26 pounds, look fat.
Is that what you really want? I don't. I like having
visiting hours every day, and do you really think they would let us
visit each other after you got caught? My parents would be
alright with it, it is others around here that are the problem and they
wouldn't hesitate to cause problems for you, not because you are a
celebrity or such, but because they would be upset about a teacher
being with a student. Any teacher. Any student. Even
with parental consent or whatever. The law sees it as statutory
rape, even with consent. Definite problems. Anyway, you
know as well as I do, once
we started, we couldn't stop. A crush usually goes away, this
ain't going away and I think
we both know it. And no, I'm definitely not a virgin
either. I've definitely had those thoughts too. Oh boy have
I had those thoughts. No doubt you have felt me memorizing and
undressing every inch of you with my eyes. Nice feet by the way,
I love the way your toes curl up when, But anyway if I hurt you, I
hurt myself. I can't. I definitely want you in more ways
than one. The table, floor, chandelier, refrigerator." And
she was
like, "I've done table and floor, the bed even, but chandelier and
refrigerator?" And I was like, "Yeah, swinging from a chandelier
would
be a bit difficult, but think of the head rush from the blood rushing
to our heads. As far as the refrigerator, I know it's high up and
all
that, but think about the vibrations from when the ice maker comes
on.
That would be quite a rush." And then she was like, "Noted, we'll
look
into a hotel room with one of those magic vibrating beds and a
chandelier. I think we could probably do it, but there's a lot of
stuff on the refrigerator and I don't feel like cleaning up the mess
afterwards. Come to think of it, a waterfall would be nice
too.
Shower stalls are a bit cramped." And then I continued, "See, we
are
perfect for each other. We think a lot alike. But I
can't. I just
can't. There is so much passion there that we would probably blow
up the planet just holding hands. It is definitely beyond sparks
or flames already. There is no way we could hide it if it went
any further, we can barely hide it now with just eye contact. I'm
too young and you would get in trouble in a small town like this.
It isn't worth it." Then she was like, "Well, that pretty much
answers the rest of the questions I was going to ask you. By the
way, do you have a pet name for me yet?"
And I was like, "I
haven't really thought about that really. I like you just the way
you
are and for who you are inside and outside. Honey, I just can't
think
of a pet name for you right now." And she said, "Darling you
called me Honey." And
at the same time she said this I said, "Honey you called me
Darling." Almost in unison, I started after she said 'Darling'
though. And then we smiled at each other and then we continued to
gaze into each others' eyes for a little while longer. Then I
took my glasses off and I said, "As you can see, I am not really an
ugly duckling so to speak. I keep my glasses on on purpose.
If you hear the name Bubby, except
from my cousins, get out of the way. I am about to get
attacked. The girls that remember that I look like this without
glasses all know my name as Bubby. I almost
failed kindergarten because girls kept trying to
play footsy with me all the time, and when the teacher called on me,
half the time I had no idea what the teacher was talking about because
I was busy playing footsy back." And Karen was like, "I remember
playing footsy. It was a lot of fun." And I continued, "As
you probably know, hunks
are good for only one thing, to make women and girls horny.
That's it. And I know you know I have been
hiding something and this
is it. This is what I have been hiding from you. I'm a
hunk. I have
been wearing glasses since kindergarten and third grade gym class and I
actually enjoy being thought of as a dork or a geek or ugly duckling or
whatever. You know, girls don't make passes at guys who wear
glasses. I don't get attacked like I used to with girls throwing
themsleves at me all the time. There's more to me than just looks
and I'm definitely not a virgin. I can get
laid about any time I want." And she
was almost in tears and said, "What am I going to be, just
another notch in your belt?" And I was like, "No way Honey, I'm
not
like that anyway or else I wouldn't be wearing
my glasses all of the time like I do,
besides, I
don't even wear a belt. I led the
Belt Rebellion back in Mrs. McKendrick's third grade class where I said
my dad hit me with his belt and I'm not going to wear a belt again, and
the next day two thirds of the boys in the class weren't wearing
belts. I haven't worn a belt since then. I can't notch
something that I don't even have. And my six shooter is more like
eight and a half. Yeah, one of the girls measured it back
when. I
really do care about you a
lot. More than I even know. I really can't hurt you without
hurting myself. Everything I have said to you has been honest and
truthful and I can't help it. I really can't lie to you, because
if I
lie to you, it will hurt me even more than it would hurt you. But
yeah, this is my big secret that I keep trying to hide from you.
Are
you disappointed that I'm not an ugly duckling?" And she just
kind of
sat there a little while and then she said, "I'm definitely not
dissapointed, I knew you have been hiding something. I just had
no
idea. Guys usually chase after girls because of looks and I
hadn't
really thought about it the other way around. Honestly,
I met Elvis when I was younger and you look just
like him without your glasses on. I can also tell that you can't
see too well without your glasses on either. I kept thinking that
you looked
familiar somehow and after you took your glasses off I realized why I
kept thinking you looked familiar to me. You are the spitting
image of
Elvis in 1956 before he dyed his hair and such.
I have met a couple of Elvis' kids and he had a few kids
out of wedlock and you look more like him than they do. Are you
sure
your mom wasn't with Elvis?" And I am like, "Positive. When
my mom
meets someone she always has an opinion about them. My mom has
always
been indifferent about Elvis. I'm positive." And Karen
continued, "I can see why you
would get attacked. You really do love
me
don't you?" And I was like,
"Yes, I do
love you. I am not afraid to say it to you. It is just that
if you
have to repeat something over and over again, it usually isn't true or
you have doubts. I don't have any doubts about you. You and
me, we've
got the real love that everyone's looking for. And yes, you and
me,
Karen and Ace because believe me I am always going to try and make sure
that we come together but if not, I always want you to come first, then
I'll roll over and fall asleep. And be prepared because I love to
cuddle." And she was like, "I love to cuddle too. This
could get
interesting." And then I was like, "Honestly, I hug my pillow
every
night anymore. I got it bad. Really bad." And she was
like, "I hadn't thought of that, does it
help?" And I was like, "Not really. All it really does is
remind me
that something's missing that I can't have right now. It's great
having these feelings, but it sucks because we can't do anything about
it without you getting into trouble. I guess I still have a bit
of
growing up to do." And then she said, "Of all the guys I've met,
you
are definitely the most grown up. Right now I have this strong
urge to
come over there and hug you and try to make you feel better, but
knowing our luck, the minute I stood up to come over, the fire alarm
would go off and then the firefighters would break down the door or
something. It's really tough for me too. I think I got it
just as bad
as you." {Truthfully,
I hadn't been known as Bubby since third grade. Truthfully too, I
had worn eyeglasses since kindergarten. Truthfully three, I was
definitely not a virgin at this time. Truthfully four, my first
is not around anymore and no way to have it verified, so I do not
mention her name. She knew who my sister was and did not want my
sister to know, so I don't tell. She also knew who Julie Sage was
and did not want her butt kicked at the time either [Julie Sage moved
to Binghamton in late 1978 or early 1979 during eighth grade and died
in a car crash in June 1983]. (There were a couple girls, Nancy
Hunt
being one amongst a few others, that did know me as Bubby back when and
they all had a big crush on that 'hunk' in kindergarten. A few
upper classwomen as well. And up until about third grade, I
didn't wear my glasses in gym class, so there were others that
remembered 'the hunk' too. We did actually have a field trip to a
local field to spend the night. Of course the ugliest girl in
school, Patty Hammer, boxed me in on the bus on the way to the field
and I am glad that I didn't puke all over the bus. It was just
that
horrible. But thank God that Patty was inexperienced and only
knew of 'smooches' and not 'slipping the tongue'. But this was
near the end of the year I believe, I
think Karen had already left by then. But maybe not. It may
have even been seventh grade the attacks happened. But anyway, I
think I have divulged enough background info here.)} And
then I
put my arms out on the desktop and then folded them over and put my
head on my right arm and I still gazed at Karen looking at her kind of
sideways. I was like, "I am enjoying this so much. This
great feeling like I am floating on air. I've heard of cloud 9,
but this is at least cloud 11 or so. Cloud 9 was about two weeks
after you started here. What a rush. This definitely is not
a crush." Karen then said, "I think we're both done now.
Thank
you so much for being honest with me. I'll
unlock the door." And I just kind of got up because I was feeling
a little dizzy and said, "Thanks, I know we both needed this talk for a
long time now. I'll just go home and sit in my room and hug my
pillow again." And she was like, "I'll stand away from the door
and let you out because I got some paperwork to finish up first before
I go home, but also, because if I stand by the door right now, I
probably wouldn't let you go." And I was like, "I know, I
couldn't let you go either and I really don't think I could stop you
this time and even worst, I don't think I could stop myself."
Door unlocked and she sat back down and I left.
And seriously,
before I knew she was Karen Carpenter, I couldn't hurt her
emotionally. She could have been the laundry maid or whatever,
and I just couldn't hurt her emotionally or physically so long as it
was that person. That cloud 11 connection between us was just
amazing. Karen Carpenter or not, it was her, not some fame or
notoriety or whatever. Not even the age difference. With or
without the fame or notoriety stuff, I knew that any hurt I caused her,
would probably double back on me and it would probably hurt me at least
twice as much. It was just that intense of an experience.
We were both too old and too experienced for 'crushes'. And not a
'second childhood' at 13,14 or 28,29. Just not possible. It
was real, but unreal at the same time. We both felt it. But
what it was or is, I can only try to describe it as best as I
can. Note
the stuff inside the { } was never said by myself, I
just wrote it as a reference to what was said in relation to other
events that may or may not have
been related to this discussion that Karen and I had. Another
note, I am writing this in 2019, 40 years afterwards, and I got those
same feelings back just thinking about these things over the last 2
weeks. Karen has been gone since 1983, but even though she is not
around, just those thoughts again have me on at least cloud 9
again. And honestly, I do not have any hurt inside me that she is
not here now even though we probably could finally at least hug now
after all we went through (Karen especially). I also do not feel
guilty or blame anyone about Karen dying the way that she did,
including Karen herself. I am just still so happy to be able to
have had that feeling before and to now have that feeling again.
It is still so incredible even without her here to share it with me
again. But if she was here, it would most likely be cloud 100 all
over again, until maybe cloud 1000 and beyond. Thoughts are
thoughts. Reality is reality. And walking on air is still a
wonderful feeling to have whether science believes it can happen or not.
XXX. Field Trip - The
Great Outdoors
And thinking of the Patty
Hammer incident in gray above, that was in
8th grade. Karen told me that she set that up with Patty to "get
even
with me". And of course Patty Hammer and I
had to be separated and as
a chaperone, Karen had to sit next to me to make sure I behaved during
the bus trip. All in good fun.
Anyway, the middle school had an
overnight
field trip at a local type of camp called Watson Homestead.
Lodges and
that type of stuff and an indoor pool, a pond, and lots of open fields
and a few trees too. As Karen was a teacher, she was a
chaperone.
Karen and I are both the "outdoor" types as we found out. We both
had
a lot of fun. Shhh, Karen and I did a few cartwheels together
here and
there in the open fields when others weren't looking. Then
others looked and started doing cartwheels too. The
trip
was in
late April or early May. Warm enough during the day and at night
for a
light coat or jacket. I had on my hand-sewn reversible light blue
/
dark blue jacket which for some reason had lipstick on the collar
now.
Oh well. It was an overnight trip. I think we left the
school around
2 PM after lunch periods (but not sure, we could have left in the
morning even). And of course a few noteworthy events (as always
when
Karen and I were together).
The first one was that there was a
lookout
tower on site and I started to go up and then I turned around and went
back down. The stairs were open stairs, but I wasn't actually
'afraid
of heights' so to speak, it was that as I got higher up, the air wasn't
as dense and I would start to lose my balance. Karen came down
and got
me and told me that I was going to go up to the top even if it killed
me. Actually, Karen said, "You're not getting out of it that
easy.
Just look up and I'll help you get up there. I'll be with
you. You'll
be fine." And so up we went. We made it to the top and then
Karen
made sure I looked out the window up top too and that we stayed up
there at least 15 minutes with one of the staff that was up
there.
Karen said, "I noticed you were unsteady on your feet and that you
weren't faking it." And Karen looked at my ears and noticed that
part
of my ear never grew in on the outside of both of my ears. Karen
knew
that I wasn't 'afraid'; it was just that I was losing my balance.
Karen
figured it was one of those things where the canals on the inside of my
ears weren't right and that air pressure would cause me to lose my
balance. Karen asked me if my mother had
had an epidural and I said yes. Karen had
heard about it with a few people, but now she
had
seen it first hand. She said, "I could see you turning green up
there
and I can see why. But I wasn't going to let you chicken out of
it.
It's a bad habit."
And also, if I remember right, we had a
kind of
scrimmage
baseball game too. Karen was my homeroom teacher so we were on
the
same team of course. And you know that Karen had to pitch.
So Karen
pitched. But Karen was a bit grumpy and was saying things to me
like,
"You're a sore winner" and "You're being a spoiled sport" and "I ought
to bench you" (and of course I stood next to her and I whispered,
"Bench warmer sounds like a good idea. Can I be the bench warmer
and
then when you come in you could sit on my lap and talk about the first
thing that pops up?" and Karen was like, "It's my idea so of course
it's good, unfortunately we don't have enough people to bench you or
else it would have been a great idea.
Besides it's nothing to talk about and don't get started on
that. You're having a hard enough time concentrating on the game
as it
is"). Karen was not a happy camper.
A ball got hit to me and I picked it up and I went to throw it to Karen
and Karen was waving her hands and mouthing 'no, no, no'. Then I
looked and I realized that Karen didn't have a ball glove on, so I
threw Karen my glove with the ball in it and Karen calmed down after
that. And truth was that I was ambidextrous and I could use
either
hand so not having a ball glove on was actually easier for me.
Just
pick the ball up and throw it. I thought at first because Karen
was a
tomboy that she was trying to show off and stuff, but she actually felt
awkward playing baseball without a glove which is why she was so
grumpy. I also said later, "Why didn't you say something, I would
have
let you use my glove, no problem?" And Karen was like, "Ball
gloves
are personal, like underwear. You don't ask to use someone else's
ball
glove like you don't ask to use someone else's underwear." And
then
she said, "This is a big glove. What do you use it for, to catch
watermelons?" and then I showed her how to put her index finger on the
outside of the glove to help balance the glove out. Karen and I
were
back to being happy campers after I let her use my glove. I
actually
still have that ball glove and I keep it in the trunk of my car just in
case.
And of course there was dinner time where
Karen and
I both played with our food for the most part. I told Karen about
the
fact that I couldn't eat certain canned vegetables because I would
throw them back up. I didn't know about my vinegar allergy at the
time, I just knew that canned beans and canned carrots and canned peas
would make me puke. I believe it was succotash for dinner which
was on my 'be careful' list. So like Karen, I was a kind of
'picky' eater,
but
for different reasons. Karen was worried about weight while I was
worried about eating something wrong and then throwing up. And
of course Karen ate right-handed and I ate left-handed,
so we ended up having to give ourselves some elbow room while we ate.
During lunch time at school, we ate across from each other at our desks
and not side by side. I
think
Karen and I both had pancakes the next morning for breakfast. We
didn't play around with those.
And of course there was a campfire
that
night with marshmallows on a stick and sitting around and singing songs
and such. Yes, Karen sang too with the rest of us. No one
caught on.
I can see Michael Row the Boat Ashore, Kumbaya, This Land Is Your Land,
but not even during Jambalaya (On the Bayou). Karen and I shared
the
same marshmallow stick so that she could cook them and then feed them
to me (she did have a couple though). All good fun.
And
there was
also a dance later. And I am pretty sure there was a dance
contest too. Yes, Karen and I danced. Um, actually,
we kind of
stole the show if I remember right. I think we literally danced
circles around a few people. Actually, I
know we danced circles around others because we
were lined up opposite as boy / girl and Karen and I would circle
around the others so that we lined up opposite each other so we could
dance together. There were more boys than
girls. Others were getting kind of worn out
but
Karen and I were just so full of energy and it seemed like the more
Karen and I danced together, the more energy we had. I think we
even
wore the band that was playing out. I think
I remember Karen offering to give the band 20 bucks
if they played another song and I believe one of the band said, "We
can't. Not even for a hundred bucks. We're pooped." I
also remember the song "Can't Help Falling In Love" popping into my
head so I am pretty sure that was the song that Karen was going to
request, but not to be. If there was a dance contest (I am
pretty sure
there was) we won it hands down. I think the prize was a little
bronze colored trophy cup.
And of
course it was an
overnight
and of course Karen caught Mike and I sneaking over to the girls'
cabin. Mike was talking with I think Holly and of course when we
got
caught, Karen and I were talking. Ethical dilemma, how do you
catch
yourself? Somehow it happened. Honestly, Karen and I wanted
to just
sit out in the open air and cuddle up together under the stars, but we
would have got caught with the cuddle up part. But Karen and I
stretched out on our backs in the grass side by side and watched the
stars in the sky for a little bit anyway. Yes, it was a rough
night
for both Karen and I. We did see a shooting
star though and so we both made a
wish. Yes, it was the same wish as always and as always, if you
say
your wish, it won't come true.
Somehow we got through it. Karen and
I were
both happy campers, but then we left the next day.
XXXI. Halloween.
Thanksgiving. Christmas 1978. 1979 too
Halloween 1978 was pretty
much my last 'trick or treat' time. I
was 13
and you start getting too old for that stuff. But then too, Karen
came
into school all decked out as the Wicked Witch of the West from the
Wizard of Oz movie. Karen looked spectacular and her costume was
perfect with the green face paint and wart on her nose and the candy
cane stockings and big black hat and black clothing. Karen tried
to do
the 'witches cackle' and "I'll get you my pretties" a few times, but
Karen still had her sweetheart voice so it sounded a little off, but
like always, Karen did her best. I picked on her of course (I
knew who
she was by Halloween) and I commented, "It's about time you took off
your mask." I was dressed as a pirate. Nothing
elaborate. An added
eye patch and my bandana kept falling off. And of course sailor
talk.
After school and about 6 o'clock was the Halloween event at the local
skating rink. I was there with my sister and my parents and then
I saw
Karen show up so I took off with Karen and we walked around a little
bit. I definitely tried to keep my mother from seeing Karen
because I
figured my mother would figure out who she was. Of course
everyone was
in costumes but Karen and I were in regular street clothes and we
worked our way to the upper level of the rink just above the changing
room (to change from shoes or boots to ice skates). The costume
contest started and my sister was out there dressed as an
outhouse. I
pointed my sister out to Karen and Karen was like, "That's your
sister? I think she could win this." And they had the
people walking
around the rink in their costumes and Karen and I were up top and Karen
was doing her loud whistle (where you put your pinkies inside the
corners of your mouth) and I was yelling out, "Outhouse, outhouse,
outhouse". And Karen and I would duck back out of sight and then
back
up to the railing and whistles and more yelling. My sister won
1st
place and got a blue ribbon and a bag of candy and I believe a gift
certificate. The outhouse was 5 sheets of cardboard with a half
moon
cut out of the front to see out of. Everyone got a kick out of it
including the judges. My sister was 11 years old and it was a bit
awkward at times because the outhouse was a bit bulky, but she
managed. I think the judge was in a Snoopy costume and during the
walk
around, the judge would be next to one of the costumes with their hand
up and people would yell out. My sister in the outhouse costume
definitely got the loudest and most yells that year. Karen and I
both
had a lot of fun that night, but we also tried to keep a low profile so
that Karen didn't get noticed. I have no idea how we didn't get
noticed with the whistling and yelling and such, but we didn't.
Karen and I talked about Thanksgiving and that Karen was
going to be
going home for the weekend. We talked about turkey and cranberry
sauce
and all the trimmings and Karen was definitely looking forward to going
home and seeing her family again and celebrating "Turkey Day" with her
family. Karen was used to Thanksgiving and
being thankful, but Karen was still in Corning and quite a few of the
locals celebrated Turkey Day here.
Kumquats? Green Raisin Salad? No thanks, just pass the
turkey. Turkey Day for those turkeys who
feel they have nothing to be thankful for.
And my 14th birthday on Monday,
December 4,
1978. It was
also Max's 41st birthday across the hall. Karen was exhausted as
she
had flown out to LA and back the day before. Karen was like, "I
know
what Max wants and I can sleep through that." But I had a cupcake
I
believe with a candle on top. We lit and I blew out the candle
and I
could see Karen on the other side trying not to be seen blowing
too.
Of course the candle went out and Karen and I both knew what I wished
for. I believe lunch time started at about noon thirty (12:30 pm)
and
I set my watch for I believe 1:10 pm and Karen and I both put our heads
down and we took a nap. My alarm went off and we both woke up in
time
for the next period. Karen just barely made it through the day,
but
she managed. We also found out that we both drooled in our sleep
too.
We both woke up to puddles on our desks. I know it was my
birthday,
but Karen and I both left without our usual talk session after school
that day. If I remember right, the next day after school, Karen
walked down
with me to Woolworth's and I got a record album. The album I got
was Totally Hot by Olivia Newton - John. I told Karen that the
song 'A Little More Love' reminded me of Karen. Now, stupid me,
and believe me, stupid, did not listen to this wise woman that was with
me named Karen. Karen also noticed that they had Passage by The
Carpenters in stock too at Woolworth's. In hind sight, 'Sweet
Sweet Smile' still reminds me more of Karen than 'A Little More Love'
does. And Passage is still my favorite Carpenters album.
And Karen even offered to autograph Passage for me if I bought
it. But I bought Totally Hot instead. But as always, Karen
was right. And it wasn't the autograph or any of that, it was the
truth that as usual, Karen knew me better than I knew myself.
And a funny part too, because in the middle of January I
came walking into homeroom and Karen looked at me and she just said, "I
know you've got a song stuck inside your head, don't you?" And I
was
like, "Yeah, you know don't you?" And Karen was like, "Yeah, and
I
think it's funny. I heard it on the radio this morning too and I
started laughing after I heard it because I knew you heard it
too. I
warned you but you kept thinking that Olivia song reminded you of
me.
Where's that Olivia song now, huh? Oh well, you had your chance
and
now you can suffer. It serves you right for not listening to
me." And
I was like, "You're really enjoying this aren't you?" And of
course
she had that big sweet sweet smile on her face which said it all.
Can't argue with that. Karen has been the only person in my life
that has been allowed to
correct me if I made a mistake without feeling my wrath, so to
speak. I had several teachers embarrass themselves in front of
the class by trying to 'correct me' and then the entire class seeing me
prove the teacher wrong and the teacher embarrassing themselves.
The embarrassments started with my second grade teacher,
Mrs. Mary Harris, when I put "Me" as my name in the name blank on a
test. As Mrs. Harris said, "Your name's not Me, change it."
And as I
said, "If I'm not Me, who am I then?" and the whole class laughed at
her. And remember as my second grade teacher also said, "Your
name's not You either."
But as always, Karen was right, so Karen was allowed to correct
me without my embarrassment fee surcharge. As far as Karen's 29th
birthday
on March 2nd? I am not positive but I think
Karen took a
couple days off so I didn't see her on her birthday, but I knew what
she wished for too.
And then I believe Karen's manager,
Jerry
Weintraub, shows up
at the school on I believe Friday December 8, 1978.
(I am not positive, but I am pretty sure it was Jerry that showed up,
but it may have been Richard as well. Been quite a while.)
Karen and
Jerry flip a coin and
I believe it was heads she goes on without Richard and tails the show
gets cancelled. Jerry flipped it. Karen called it.
Karen did the
Bruce Forsyth show without Richard. It was
a secret at the time but Karen told me in strict
confidence, "Richard has the DTs and is shaking really bad so he can't
perform." Karen wasn't really worried or
nervous about doing the show without Richard. Karen had done
things without Richard before and "the show must go on". Karen
was really
worried
because Richard had the shakes really bad and Karen was hoping that her
brother was going to be all right. Karen
also told me that almost 5 years before Karen,
Richard, their dad, and a cousin, Mark, had been out riding motorcycles
and
went off the beaten path. I believe Karen said it was her idea to
go
off the beaten path for a little adventure. They ran across
another
couple riders off the beaten path and Richard got in an accident and
hurt himself really bad and broke one of his
wrists and his leg and sprained his other wrist.
Karen
said
that if it hadn't been for Richard doing what he did, someone might
have been killed. But after that, Richard got addicted to
quaaludes
and Karen was worried about Richard and hoping that Richard got
better. Richard did a brave thing to help others and Karen was
hoping
that Richard would be brave enough to help himself and get over his
addiction too. Karen was like, "It was my fault and I feel bad
that
all this happened to my brother because I did something stupid and
didn't listen to the signs. But maybe after missing the show my
brother might realize that he needs some help finally and try to get
better. My brother was really brave and
probably saved my life
because I didn't see those other riders and those other riders were
coming straight for me and Richard cut them off before they might have
killed me. I just hope my brother gets brave enough to fight this
addiction too."
Karen had her step cousin Wendy cover for her during the week starting
the
11th and Wendy had another teacher cover her other teaching job at
another school. I almost went with Karen but unfortunately my
parents
had my birth certificate and I couldn't have got a hold of my parents
at the time. Karen honestly was very nervous about the show and
she
also could not pronounce Brooth Forthyth. So I had Karen say,
"Peter
Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers." She said it. Then
she said,
"Suzie sells seashells by the sea shore." She nailed it and then
she
actually said, "Bruce Forsyth." And then I asked her to repeat it
and
of course, "Brooth Forthyth." If you listen to the show, Bruce
said,
"The sound is ace." Karen actually mentioned to Bruce that she
was
nervous and usually Karen hearing my name, Ace, would help calm her
down. As far as the joke about the BF show? Well, Karen
being this
unhip and square person wouldn't realize that in porno slang, BF stands
for 'bum f***' in british slang and 'butt f***' in american
slang. Or
did she realize? Shhh, I know she realized and she asked me about
BF after she got back just to be sure. It was an accident, but
since she
was
considered naive and such, she was able to get away with it.
About 3 weeks before Christmas, Karen started getting
homesick.
Karen
was used to being home for Christmas, but the Christmas school break
started only a couple days before Christmas. Christmas was on a
Monday. School was in session until Friday December 22 around 3
PM.
Karen missed her family terribly during the 3 weeks before
Christmas.
Karen and I went through almost all of the Christmas songs several
times, but Karen was used to Richard on the piano and her singing
carols with Richard. Karen missed her mom and dad too. It
just wasn't
the same. Karen was staying with her cousin Wendy and Wendy was
in the
Christmas spirit too, but Karen was used to being home for the holidays
and it was definitely rough on her. The "no hug, no cuddle" rule
was
REALLY rough too between us. Karen and I just barely made it
through.
Also, Karen gave me a present and asked me to watch the Carpenters'
Christmas Special on TV. I had a 13" Emerson black and white TV
and I
watched the special. If you watch the special, Karen puts a
present in
the mailbox after singing "Merry Christmas Darling". Another
note, my
pet name for Karen was Honey and Karen's pet name for me was Darling
after around mid October or such when Paul Williams visited.
The original 1970 video for that song had Karen putting a
wrapped pen & pencil set for her father in the mailbox. In
the 1978
special a present was wrapped in a glittery
green and gold
type
wrapper and when I opened
it in front of Karen before Karen left for Christmas break, it was a
fountain calligraphy pen with an ink well and an instruction sheet on
how to do calligraphy. Sadly, our family moved on February 23,
1980
and I don't remember seeing the pen or ink well after that.
And also, Karen's many warnings to me before Christmas, "Careful,
you're almost standing under the mistletoe.
I keep moving it on purpose. I'm going to get you yet you little
sneak."
And of course, the school break lasted until after New Year 1979.
After Karen got back, Karen and I put on party hats and had the noise
blowers and drank our own toast (sh, Dom Perignon, her favorite) with
martini glasses since we weren't
able to be together for New Years. We both broke our glasses and
we
both know what we wished for. Well,
actually, Karen threw her glass and it cracked and
the stem broke and Karen was like, "Oh shoot" and then I said, "I got
this" and I whipped
my glass right at Karen's glass and both glasses shattered into tiny
pieces. We were still finding pieces of glass here and there on
the
floor for about two weeks later. And
remember, Karen and I could
read
each other's minds so we both know what we wished for and we both
wished for the same thing. Birthdays, New Years, and the shooting
star. Three wishes and the same wish each time for both of us.
And as you know, if you say that wish,
it
won't come true. At the end of this day, Karen had kind of had a
little bit too much champagne and so I agreed to walk home with her
just in case. Karen didn’t want the champagne to go to waste so
she finished off what was left before we left school that day.
There wasn’t that much left (maybe a glass at the most) as Karen had
shared with several others throughout the day. Of course after we
started walking I couldn’t help but notice all the bushes along the way
(would make great hiding places except it was winter and the leaves
were gone so no lover’s hideaway). Karen was definitely not used
to drinking and it was a lot of fun. We both started out going
down the street and us both saying, “Step on a crack and break your
mother’s back” as we are kind of zig zagging down the sidewalk.
Then we came across a hopscotch on the sidewalk, so why not? I
was carrying Karen’s shopping bag so all was good as she kept saying
“oh shoot” as she would forget and step on the hopscotch square with
the stone in it. Oh well. Try it again. “Oops, oh
shoot”, good fun. Karen was a trip when sober and was a HUGE trip
(literally and figuratively) after she had been drinking. Luckily
she didn’t fall over but she was close a couple times. It was
about a four block walk and took us about fifteen minutes I
think. We got to her step cousin Wendy’s door and I was standing
there and talking with Karen and you just know that awkward scene at
the door where she’s been drinking and we both have the stars in our
eyes and no one else is around and… then Karen’s step cousin Wendy
opens up the door and said something like, “I just got done watching
the soaps and I opened up the door and it looks like there’s more
action going on outside my door than on the TV. Come on in…”,
yeah, one of those unexpected mood wrecker moments. No alcohol
hangover as Karen and I didn’t really drink that much, but Karen and I
had a kind of moody love hangover shared between us for the next couple
days. I got to meet Mush, Karen’s Malamute (Samoyed). Like
Karen said, “dogs are a good judge of character”. And Mush was
quite a character. I did my usual hold my hand out and such and
Mush was just clinging to Karen. Karen and I were trying to
figure out what was going on as usually dogs would jump up on me and
start licking me and such, but Mush was keeping close to Karen.
If being protective, dogs will give that growl sound and such, but Mush
wasn’t growling at me or such but just kind of being clingy with
Karen. If I would go behind Karen, Mush would go behind
too. Alongside, Mush would be alongside. Mush wasn’t
protective or such, just acting kind of weird. Then Karen and I
figured it out. Mush was kind of jealous and if Karen and I were
going to hug or such, Mush wanted in on it too. So long as Mush
could be in on the hugging or such (as Karen and I didn’t actually
hug), Mush was wanting to be the center of the hugging action by any
means possible. Mush could feel the love and the cuddles and Mush
didn’t want to be left out. Mush made it
perfectly clear that if Karen and I went
anywhere that Mush was going along too. I also got to hear Karen
sing
one of her favorite songs, "There's a kind of Mush, all over the world
tonight..." The rough part was that just after we got in the
house,
you know how you show people around. This is this. That is
that.
Well, just after we got in the house and around the living room corner,
Karen goes, "and these doors that look like a closet are actually..."
and Karen accidentally hits the latch and the hideaway bed pops
out.
And of course it sticks after it slams open. So Karen and I kind
of
struggle to get the bed back up and Wendy is trying hard not to laugh
at us as it was just one of those awkward moments between Karen and I.
The school year is divided into 6
semesters. The first three
semesters I had sixth period lunch. This was rough on Karen and
I.
The beginning of the day would drag on as we wouldn't see each other
most of the morning and then in the afternoon we were together almost
all of the time. Because of this, at the end of the day, Karen
and I
were very dizzy and light-headed when the school day ended. For
the
last three semesters, I had fifth period lunch which broke the day up
better and we wouldn't be so dizzy and light-headed and floating after
the school day ended. And during lunch I usually just drank a
couple
white milks and Karen would usually sip on her tea with honey and lemon
in her classroom. On occasion, Karen would have me get her a
muffin or
such from the cafeteria, but usually that was only if Karen was feeling
dizzy or a little empty in her stomach. Once in a while we might
also get an
ice cream sandwich or such just to have something different. I
would usually let Karen rip off a corner of the sandwich if she
wanted. Karen wasn't much for sweets so a corner would be just
enough for her. A whole sandwich would be just too much.
But Karen
and I would usually just sit in her room together across from each
other and at our desks and
just talk each other's ears off. Once in a while we might nap
too. If
Karen was tired, she would usually get dark circles around her
eyes.
Karen usually kept a cucumber in the refrigerator in the lunch room and
once in a while she would slice off a couple slices and put those
slices over her eyes. Of course with the mascara and such, she
would
throw the cucumber slices away afterwards. But honestly, Karen
was
wishing to avoid dealing with Max during lunch break, so Karen and I
started hanging out together during lunch breaks not too long after the
school year started.
And then came Valentine's Day
1979. Karen
had told me, "No
chocolates". So I handed Karen a long box that looked like a
scarf
box, and I told her, "If the size or color isn't right, you can take it
back".
Karen opened up the box which had a long-stemmed red rose inside.
Karen cried and said, "Thank you. This is what I wanted from you"
through her tears. Karen snipped the
base of the rose and Karen had the rose in a vase on her desk for about
a week. Then Karen brought in some waxed paper and pressed the
rose
between the waxed paper under about 8 heavy books. Karen was very
happy. Me too. I had walked into the florist two days
before and that
was the last red rose that they had. And as the florist said,
"Everyone has been calling and coming in to get a dozen roses, and as
you can see, I only have the one red rose left.
You have been the only one looking for just one red rose. That I
have."
And because I don't know where to put
this.
Sometime near
the end of the school year, Karen ended up in the local
hospital. I am thinking possibly early to
mid May, but not really sure.
It was on a
Monday and Karen's married step cousin Wendy
came in
as a substitute teacher that day. Wendy told me that Karen was in
the
hospital and the room number. After school I went and visited
Karen. I think it was just after I entered the room and saw Karen
there that the nurse on duty looked at us and said something like, “You
two make a cute couple if you don’t mind me saying so. I’ll pull
the curtain so that you two can have some privacy” and then the nurse
pulled the curtains and left the room. I don't remember exact
details about our talk together but I do
remember Karen laying there in a hospital gown in a hospital bed and
Karen saying, "I don't want you to see me like this. Just go
away."
And I remember telling Karen something like, "You know me; I don't care
what you look like so long as I can see and be with you. You know
you
could be a beached whale for all I care so long as it's you." And
Karen was crying and like, "They had to pump my stomach. I didn't
mean
to do it. As I was getting ready to pass out I kept thinking
about you
and me and I didn't want it to end so I yelled help and Wendy heard me
and called the ambulance. And then Max not wanting us to
talk. I just
lost it." And I was like, "I understand and we'll get through
this.
We always do, but I need you to stick around so you can see how this
all works out. You'll see." And Karen was like, "I
know. I missed
seeing you this morning too and
I
know you missed me or else you wouldn't be here. I also told them
that
it was an accident and that I was goofing around and I just tipped the
bottle back and I didn't realize it was more than one pill that came
out until it was too late." And I was like,
"Don't ask me how, but I think they believed you. I don't see
anyone from the funny farm here. You
know I missed you and you know I have been thinking of you all day and
hoping you
were all right and you can tell I'm glad to see you again" and I had
tears in my eyes and Karen was like, "I know. I can see your
thoughts
remember. I guess I really messed up didn't I?" And I was
like, "Not
from where I'm sitting. If you had really messed up, I wouldn't
be
sitting here with you right now. You came close though.
Darn
close. But really, don't worry about Max, when the time comes
I'll
take care of him. And if you want to talk and such you don't have
to
put yourself in the hospital just so we can talk. Just
talk. If Max
starts something again, I'll take care of it. And you
know darn well if this happens again, I would come and see you
again. So
if you don't want me seeing you like this..., but sometimes I guess it
just can't be helped. Just so you know." And Karen was
like, "I
know. And just so you know, I'm really glad you're here."
And then I
think Karen pulled the covers off and I think she had her clothes on
under the gown. And then I believe Karen said, "The doctor said I
could leave any time so long as someone was with me. Wendy
doesn't get
out until 5 or so." So, if I remember right, we left. But
Wendy had bought bulk aspirin in a big jug and had been putting the
aspirin in an old prescription bottle as the jug was a bit heavy and
bulky to lift. Karen had been up all night and just fell asleep
not passed out. Overdosing on aspirin? Yes, the doctor
figured it was definitely an accident and not an attempted overdose on
aspirin. Free to go. Well, almost,
the doctor came in and talked with Karen
about finding the aspirin with the aspirin markings and figuring it was
just an accident, but the doctor was very concerned about Karen's
irregular heartbeat and mentioned that she should look into getting a
pacemaker. They had Karen hooked up to an EKG and Karen and I
kind of
joked that it sounded like a game of Pong going on. But honestly,
Karen's heart was not beating right and the doctor printed out a slip
from the EKG and put it in the folder before letting us go. The
doctor
said he had actually just held her over not because of the aspirin
pills, but because he was concerned about her heartbeat and he
understood about her saying no to a pacemaker, but he felt it his duty
to at least bring it up again and ask. After Karen said what she
said about it being in God’s hands, I said to Karen, “Well maybe God is
saying that you need this now.” or something like that. And Karen
was very adamant about if God wanted it fixed that God would fix it
Himself without any help. That was that. Karen told me
later after
we
left the hospital that the reason why she hated going to a hospital was
because even if she had a runny nose or something, they would
constantly try to ask her to get a pacemaker put in. Karen always
refused but was also worried that if maybe sometime when she was passed
out or something, that they might put in a pacemaker without her
permission while she was
passed out. But Karen and I would joke around once in a while if
she
pressed on her neck or her wrist and I would be like, "playing Pong
again?" And she'd be like, "Yup" with a smile on her face. After
this Karen’s step
cousin Wendy started calling Karen Dumb Ass as Wendy said, “Only a dumb
ass would try and overdose on aspirin and now I gotta keep a lock on
the medicine cabinet because of your dumb ass.” And later that
week, Buddy Ebsen visited us at the school and I started getting called
Smart Ass after my comment to Buddy of “Like she said, because if I
said it, I’d get my mouth washed out with soap.” So Dumb Ass and
Smart Ass as Karen still came first around the middle of May
1979. And we all know that “No one likes a Smart Ass, right Dumb
Ass?” Shared magic moments.
XXXII. A new student
We had a new student in
school named Jay. Jay was a good guy and
was
into drawing at the time. Jay also played bass guitar too if I
remember
right. I remember Karen telling me (and I knew who Karen was at
the
time) that it reminded her of when her and Richard moved from
Connecticut to Downey California and Karen was wondering if Jay was
doing all right and adjusting and such, because Karen remembered that
it was difficult when her and Richard moved because being the new kids,
you don't really know anyone and such and there's always a clique that
makes it tough for new people. And I was like, "I think Jay is
doing
pretty well. He's a good guy. He likes to draw. We've
already talked
a couple times. He seems to be doing all right so far. This
area
really isn't like other areas and most people get along and
such. We
don't really have cliques and such here. Everyone just kind of
does their own thing. The Houghton's mansion
is
that mansion just down the street from the school. Fred, you know
the
student Fred, actually cuts the grass there and such." About a
week
after Jay started, Karen, Jay and I were in the classroom and Karen
kind of had that "get lost" look in her eye, so I went to the
bathroom. Jay had a brother named John, I believe, that played
bass
guitar for a heavy metal band called The Rods that was doing well and
touring over in Japan at the time. Karen was like, "If we get
back
over to Japan, I'll have to look their manager up and see if they want
some exposure with us." Of course with Karen teaching at the
time, it wasn't going to be anytime soon, but it's the thought that
counts I guess.
XXXIII. The French
Connection - Mrs. Woeppel
I had a french teacher
named Mrs. Woeppel. She was a nice
lady. But
Corning is a small area and some people talk. And some talkers
sometimes look to create problems for others to solve. Anyway,
for an
activity for french class my french teacher set up a restaurant type
setting and of course everything done was in french. It was done
either during or after school as a school activity this one day and my
mother and father were working. The other kids' parents were
there but
mine weren't. Another thing was that the french teacher had asked
us
to dress up for this. So I wore my turquoise blue suit and such
but
others had came in less 'dressy' attire. So Mrs. Woeppel seeing
that
my parents weren't there and that I was kind of overdressed had me wait
on her table. Things were fine and nothing out of the ordinary
that I
was aware of. But people talk. And of course someone said
to Karen
that I had waited on Mrs. Woeppel's table and that I was wearing a suit
and such and of course this someone was trying to make Karen think that
there might be something going on between Mrs. Woeppel and me because I
was all dressed up and such. The next day a big mess that I am
not
sure about details because Karen and Mrs. Woeppel both asked me not to
get too involved, so I didn't. I never really got the full story
from
anyone that I can remember. Anyway, The next day Karen heard what
someone said about the restaurant thing the night before and Karen went
to talk to Mrs. Woeppel about it. The problem was that Karen was
cutting her lemon in the morning for her tea and forgot that she had
her knife in her hand when she went to talk to Mrs. Woeppel after Mrs.
Woeppel passed by Karen's room. A big mess. Someone started
yelling
at Karen and Karen started yelling back and of course with the knife in
Karen's hand, yes, a big mess. No one was hurt or anything and
Karen
wasn't looking to hurt anyone, it was just that with a knife in her
hand, others were trying to make a big deal out of it. Mrs.
Woeppel
also thought something was a bit fishy too because whoever was behind
the 'story' that was being told was saying things that didn't seem to
match what happened between Mrs. Woeppel and Karen. The story was
that
Karen was sneaking up behind and looking to attack Mrs. Woeppel in the
hallway with a butcher knife for trying to steal her man or boy or
boyfriend or whatever I was in this 'story'. The truth was that
supposedly Karen came out of her room to ask Mrs. Woeppel if I had been
the waitor at Mrs. Woeppel's table and if Mrs.
Woeppel had heard the rumor 'story' as well.
The actual incident I believe
(I
wasn't there) was that when Karen came into the hallway to talk to Mrs.
Woeppel, someone started screaming at Karen because Karen had a knife
and Karen went to yell back and then Karen realized that she had her
paring knife in her hand and Karen left the hallway and then came back
after putting the knife away. I believe it was said that Karen
had a
butcher knife (in the story) while I believe Karen and Mrs. Woeppel
both said it was a paring knife. I remember Mrs. Woeppel being
concerned not because of the knife, but because the story that was
circulating around didn't seem to match what Mrs. Woeppel and Karen
knew had happened. I remember Mrs. Woeppel and Karen both talking
with
me about it separately, but neither were really telling me what
happened nor was said between Karen and Mrs. Woeppel, just that things
were getting all blown out of proportion by others and that it seemed
like a possible set up or such. But I remember this as being
possibly
the only incident that Karen and I never fully talked about because
both Karen and Mrs. Woeppel were both worried that someone might be
trying to get Karen fired and they didn't want me getting possibly
caught in the middle of this mess. After this, another 'story'
about how I was having a threesome with Karen and Mrs. Woeppel.
This really raised eyebrows with Karen and Mrs. Woeppel as Karen had
already told Mrs. Woeppel that I wasn't looking for anyone because I
had told Karen before that "I'm not looking for anyone because every
time I try to make something happen, it doesn't work out right."
I definitely wasn't looking for a threesome for sure. Karen could
also read my thoughts and Karen knew I was just a one woman man
too. That one woman was Karen, but I was too young and Karen
would get in trouble. But after all this, Karen and I were not
talking much to each other any more for the next week or two
possibly. Someone had also started a rumor mill nickname for me
of 'Super Stud' at the time as well. Right, OK, this little dorky
kid with glasses was stringing women along and such. Yes, even
Mrs. Woeppel was realizing that someone really had some wild and crazy
ideas for sure. I think Mrs. Woeppel and Karen had a private joke
between themselves at the time of who's turn it was going to be to
watch during this threesome that night with Super Stud. Karen and
I were always
ones to joke, but Mrs. Woeppel was worried because with the rumors and
what was being said, someone just was not thinking straight and Mrs.
Woeppel was hoping that things would not get any more out of control
than they had already been. So we all kind of kept quiet about
things hoping that this rumor mill would stop before anything serious
happened.
XXXIV. Marcel Marceau
visits
At some point during the
year (I believe after the 'Max earthquake'
incident, but not sure) Karen found out that she had an expense account
with the school for teaching expenses through the principal, John
Heib. Since Karen didn't know about it, she hadn't used the
account
and she really didn't want to anyway. But then Karen was teaching
about expressive writing and she thought about doing something a little
different to make it more interesting. After Karen asked the
principal
if it was alright to do something like that, the principal explained
that Karen had a school expense account and that the principal thought
it was an excellent idea if she could do it and she could use the
expense account to pay for it. The idea was that Karen could get
a
hold of Marcel Marceau, the mime, and have a more visual presentation
to go with the expressive writing discussion she had planned.
Karen
was actually going to pay for it out of her own pocket because it was
an opportunity for her to work with Marcel. After contacting
Marcel's
representative, Marcel was more than happy to try this idea as
well.
Marcel was either in Chicago or Los Angeles at the time and flew back
to Los Angeles or Chicago afterwards. Karen got Marcel the
airline
tickets and also met Marcel at the airport and brought him into the
school. Marcel wore his horizontal striped black and white shirt
and
face paint while Karen wore a horizontal red and black striped shirt
and a beret (hat). Originally, no one knew that it was Marcel
Marceau
that was there, but eventually some people found out that he was
there. But anyway, Karen and Marcel worked up an act where Karen
would
talk about expressive writing and Marcel would use facial expressions
to help demonstrate what expressive writing was really about,
emotions. Karen would talk about the emotions, while Marcel would
demonstrate those emotions. Karen also worked in descriptive
writing
too where you write to describe what is happening. Was the mime
trapped inside a big box? Little box? Was there even a box
at all and
could it have been just the mime's imagination (and Marcel points to
his own head)? It was actually a well thought out lecture by
Karen and
Marcel and worked very well. Karen was also a little worried
because
Marcel was french and Karen didn't speak french very well. Karen
asked
Mrs. Woeppel if she would help out and Mrs. Woeppel was more than happy
to help out as needed. Marcel actually spoke english very well,
but it
was good to have a backup plan just in case. Marcel wore his
makeup
all day at the school, but when Karen picked Marcel up at the airport,
Marcel didn't have on his makeup or costume, nor did Marcel have on his
costume or makeup when he left to go to Chicago or Los Angeles.
And of
course during lunch Marcel and Karen talked together and I was the
gopher (go for this, go for that) as usual. During the talk I
remember
Marcel saying that he always enjoyed education as it was his teacher's
question that was what gave Marcel his 'man in a box' idea that got
Marcel recognized as a mime. Marcel and Karen also both agreed
with
each other that the hardest part of doing a performance was the
ending. You have all of these smiling, happy and wonderful people
enjoying the show, but the show can't go on forever and will end at
some point. You don't meet most of these people and you always
hope that they stay happy even after the show is over and that the
people in the audience take away a good feeling when the show is over.
Yes, Marcel and Karen were both down to earth and caring
people and both of them were having a great time that day working in a
classroom instead of being separated by a stage and such.
XXXV. Patti again
(1981). A substitution, kind of. Goodbyes. Life lessons
The meeting with Paul
Williams kind of
summed it up like my teacher said it would. I definitely put all of the
pieces together and my homeroom and english teacher definitely was the
one and only Karen Carpenter. I graduated high school in
1983 and my teacher's cousin, Patti, graduated from the same school in
1981. In 1981, I saw Patti again I believe in french class with Mrs. /
Mme.
Luce. Patti told me how she had gone out
to California the year before to see her cousin, Karen, get married to
a guy she had only known for three months. Patti also told me that the
family was kind of worried about Karen and her recent marriage to a guy
that she hardly even knew. But the family wished for Karen to be
happy.
Patti also said, "Karen asked me to talk to you about mud pies for some
reason. Do you care to explain?" Of course I snuck away and
didn't explain. Patti also said, "Why don't you talk about
her? She still loves you you know." and I was like, "I know, but
I'm still too young." Patti was actually a bit more heavy set
than
Karen, but was more of a girly girl type than a tomboy. I did not
see Patti again after she graduated in 1981.
The
day
Karen left, Karen said there would be a substitute and the substitute
would finish the year
out and that Karen, Miss Bihuniak, would not be returning. The
substitute finished teaching at the middle
school for the last couple weeks. The
substitute was nicknamed 'the blonde bimbo' or 'the air head' and was
actually Karen with
her normal voice and without all that extra stuff she wore as Miss
Bihuniak. So on Miss Bihuniak's last day of classes, she
announced to the
class that she was leaving and not returning for the rest of the
year. When she made the announcement, a girl behind me said,
"She's probably going to Bellevue." And I was just upset, not
because Karen was leaving (because Karen didn't actually leave), but I
kind of turned around and said back to
the
girl in an angry voice,
"Well, she's standing right there, why don't you just ask her instead
of saying stuff behind people's
backs?". Of course the girl didn't ask and my teacher was kind of
shaken up a little because I had a bit of anger in my voice and Karen
was just worried that I might 'spill the beans'. That dream
was not Bellevue that I was aware of. Karen
told me that she had been going back and forth driving
five hours to New York City for the last few weekends and that she was
very exhausted again. By the last day of school (I think she
played the substitute for about three weeks) Karen had a drawer full of
AirHeads candy. Karen was well-loved as Miss Bihuniak as Miss
Bihuniak was a very modest and very down to earth person. As a
substitute (I believe Miss Carpenter was her substitute name) she was
well-loved again for her sense of humor and silliness. But still
quite a few kids did miss Miss Bihuniak and her sensibility, but oddly,
Miss Carpenter, even though whacky, still seemed to have that same
problem solving ability Miss Bihuniak had, but it was just a little
more off beat and zany was all.
On the last day of school, June 22, 1979, she also said
that she wasn't very good at
goodbyes and actually hated goodbyes. And I was like, "Me too,
but I know you will always be in my thoughts, you are a hard person to
forget. You may not be there, but I feel that you will always be
with me somehow. I know I am going to mope around because I will
miss you actually being here. But I also know that when I think
of you it will be like you are here with me and I will get over
it. We had a lot of great times together and I hope that you have
many more." And then I was like, "Yuck, I hate that mushy stuff
which is why I hate goodbyes too. But it is how I really feel and
you know I wish you the best in all that you do wherever and whatever
that may be. And yeah, I had thought about stowing away in your
suitcase, but you didn't bring it with you, so I can't." And she
was like, "It is actually out in the car and I know you would have
tried to stow away, but I don't think you would fit. I did get a
lot of souvenirs while I was here. I could barely get my suitcase
shut and I had to sit on it to get it to latch. I am really going
to miss you too. You are really something." And I was like,
"So are you. You are really something too. We should go now
so you can get around and make sure you have everything before you
leave. I really can't hug you or such still because that desire
is still too strong in both of us. But I can blow you a
kiss." And then I blew her a kiss and then
she caught it and blew
it back to me and then I
said "I love you more" and then I made a quick exit. And then
Karen
said, "You little sneak." And then Karen stood outside her door
and
yelled down the hall, "I love you more than more." And Karen and
I
continued yelling back and forth on the stairs "I love you more" stuff
and we were
laughing back and forth until I got passed the outside door and left
and Karen went back into her room to get the rest of her stuff before
she left.
I also never told anyone
else that our teacher, Miss Bihuniak, was actually Karen
Carpenter. Patti Carpenter already knew anyway. Karen was
actually my eighth grade english teacher
that taught me about similes and metaphores and puns and such.
Next to my fourth grade teacher, Mark Bachman, who was my original
'nice guy' role model, Karen was probably the second most influential
teacher I had. Not because of her being a celebrity or such, but
because of all the 'life lessons' that happened during this time.
Julie 'the Family Jewels' Sage was still my greatest influence though
with my nickname and all that happened with my new nickname, Ace.
Julie was the person where I figured out the most valuable life lesson,
"How would you feel if someone did to you what you just did to them?"
after me and Julie talking about our parents and such and how, when we
grew up, we did not want to be like our parents had been. But
Karen was the one who came along and pretty much tied everything
together between the 'nice guy' and 'you shouldn't do things to others
that you wouldn't like done to you'. I had the knowledge, but
Karen was the person that I learned to apply that knowledge with.
XXXVI. The warning.
Following directions. Moving along.
I remember now on July 8,
2019, why there was an
extra teacher now with
Miss Bihuniak at the end of the year. Miss Bihuniak did actually
finish out the year with a monitor that did have specific instructions
as far as what to do and why the monitor was there. Honestly,
everyone with a shred of decency close your eyes now and walk
away. Skip to the next paragraph. Also, remember, people
make mistakes. If a person learns from their mistake, they are
not afraid to admit what they did and what they learned. If a
person denies a mistake, it is almost certain that mistake
will be repeated. Myself included. It would be a mistake
for myself
not to remember this incident. From roughly 1979 to 2019, I did
forget. For most of you, honestly, skip over this
paragraph. One
person, Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior, made a HUGE mistake with me
that led to my last words I remember saying to him being, "...don't
you
ever come within arms reach of me or Karen again or I'll kill you and
you know it..." And
after remembering the rest of the stuff written in the rest of this
paragraph, those words still hold true to me. I said what I meant
and
I meant what I said in 1979 and it now still holds true today. To
date, I do not think that Max has ever owned up to his mistake. I
am
pretty sure that Max has probably forgotten after 40 years and that is
fine with me. Another mistake to ANYONE reading this except
Maximilian
Adalbert Baer Junior would be to mention this incident to Max without
Max mentioning it first. I am hoping that Max forgot about this
like I
had for 40 years myself. This memory has always been stored in
pieces in my mind. I had to break it up because of the deep
emotion involved. I am going to do my best here to pick up the
pieces and put them back together again as best as I can. After
40 years stuff is probably missing and some of the
stuff may not have been stored accurately to begin with. I am
going to
do my best though. My mistake would be not
remembering the
last
words I spoke to Max if I ever see him again and come within arms
distance of him and the reasons behind those words. The reader's
mistake would be trying to use this information to judge others.
Unless you were personally involved in this incident which is myself,
Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior, John Heib, or Karen Carpenter, or the
monitor, kindly keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.
The
past can not be undone, only remembered. Honestly, you have been
warned if you proceed reading further and not skipping to the next
paragraph and do not keep it to yourself about what you read
here. If
it does not involve you personally, stay out of it or do not read any
further and skip to the next paragraph. If
worst comes to worst, VERY strong sexual content and VERY strong
language. Final warning.
Last chance to turn away. Too late now after this. You
can't say I didn't warn you. For
the rest, here is what actually happened that I can remember.
Karen
was sitting
at her desk and I was in my chair on the other side. We were just
talking across her desk like normal. Mr. Baer comes charging in
and
then says "I warned you not to talk to him again and I meant it."
And
then he picks Miss Bihuniak up and spreads her out on the desk and lifts
her skirt up and pulls her panties down and starts
to take his belt off and undo his pants and starts to mount
her. Then Mr. Baer says, "Come on. Right now. Right
in front of him
or I turn you in. Let's see how much he loves you after we do it
right
in front of him. You see boy, this is how you love a woman.
Come on over here and I'll show you how it's done. I'll even let
you take over if you want. Come on over here. What you got
ain't love boy. I'll show you what love is boy. This is
love." And while Mr. Baer is saying this, Karen is going, "No,
please don't. No. No. Get
off of me. No. No. Don't do this to me.
Please. Get off of me.
Ace please help me." And as I hear Karen and Max saying what they
are
saying, I started saying, "Leave her alone. She said no.
Leave her
alone. Get off of her now. I mean it. I've had
enough. Get off of
her now. Enough." And then I remember me being about 100
pounds
soaking wet grabbing Mr. Baer while reaching over Miss Bihuniak's book
rack and grabbing him by the shirt with my left arm and slamming his
300 plus pound self against the wall with a loud thud and you could
literally hear stuff in all the rooms of the school falling over and
glass breaking.
It literally shook the whole building. I held him
up against the wall with my left hand and my right hand with a fist
raised and ready to finish him off and I said, "How many times do we
have to say enough? Enough!" (note, it could have been
'stop it',
'no', or whatever, but I think I said 'enough'). And
then from behind me I heard Karen say, "No Ace don't". And
then I let
him go
and walked over to the chair and sat down again opposite Karen.
And
then Mr. Baer put his belt
back on
and redid his pants and pointed over at Karen and said, "OK, you asked
for it. I told you
don't
ever say no to me." And then he turns to me and says, "I'll be
right
back and don't you dare say a word about this or else I'll have her
arrested and you won't see her ever again. I
was only trying to help you out boy." And I
said, "I don't need your kind of help, but
don't
you ever come within arms reach of me or Karen again or I'll kill you
and you know it. I'm underaged and she
would get into trouble if I did what you were just doing. Not me
getting into trouble, her you dumb ass. Is
that what you really want? Her getting into trouble. Unlike
you, I care about her you f***ing dumb ass. Don't you f***ing get
it yet? I don't want to f*** her like you've been doing; I want
to make love to her. Champagne, candles, the whole nine
yards. Go do what you feel you gotta
f***ing do. Go on, get the f*** out of my
sight you chicken sh*t." And Mr. Baer
left the room
and went down the hall and down the stairs. Karen
was still laying there on her back on the desk with her legs dangling
over the side. I said to Karen, "I
can't look at you right now because you do not want to see
my eyes right now. My eyes are pure anger. All I can think
of is killing him right now. That
is why I am looking away. You definitely
do not want to see them right now. My eyes are pure evil. Are
you
alright?" And she said, "No. This is why I have been trying
to avoid you for the last few weeks. He's gonna have me fired and
I
won't
ever see you again. I don't care about losing my job. They
have
strict rules about teachers and students here. I'm going to miss
you." And I was like, "How long has he been doing this?"
And she
said, "Since the beginning of the year. That's why he had you
leave
the room all those times. Do you still love me?" And I was
like, "Of
course I still love you, you didn't do anything wrong, how could I not
love you? But yes, I knew too because I saw the other kids
looking
through the window in the door while I was sitting outside all those
times. I knew you couldn't tell me, but like you know too, I
don't get
jealous. And you know too, I was never after you for just
sex. I
want the
whole package. Everything." And she was like, "Thanks, me
too; I want everything too. I need
to get up before Max returns. What took
you so long?" And I was like, "I knew you two had
some kind of agreement between you and I didn't want him to think it
was because I was jealous or such. For some strange reason it
just
clicked in my head that Max had broke whatever the agreement was and I
could intervene now, so I did." And she was like, "I'm glad you
did. I figured that you would need to run
out and get some help but I guess you didn't need any. Are you
alright?" And I'm
like, "Not really. When they get back I'll probably be going to
jail after Max is dumb enough to come near me again. I
was actually a fighter as a kid before becoming an egghead or whatever
I am now. You losing
your job and me going up the river, we're a lovely couple aren't
we?
I know it was rough for you getting up just now
but thanks
for sitting down because Max would have probably tried to say I did
that to you." Because of this being
'unreadable' and other parts being
'readable' I need to mention a couple other things here. Later,
the
principal, Mr. Heib, mentions an old 'rape kit' to Karen as a
possibility and asked Karen in all seriousness if Karen wanted to call
the police and report it. Mr. Heib would definitely back her up
on
reporting it, but also stated that he would let Karen make the decision
about it. Mr. Heib said that he knew Karen had been raped and Mr.
Heib was almost in tears because he knew she was in pain when he talked
to her. Karen explained that she
didn't want to take a chance of
having adverse publicity and such and that Karen felt that the problem
had been dealt with anyway and that the cops would probably make a
bigger mess than what was already there. Also, Karen was wearing
red
panties on this day because when Mr. Heib came close to Karen's desk,
Karen and I both kind of kicked her panties out of sight under her desk
so that the principal didn't see them. I think he saw them
anyway, but
he didn't mention anything about it. I didn’t really see anything
between Karen and Max, but I had heard enough. And yes, Max could
have tried to file assault charges against me, but really, between the
size difference and my being a minor, any judge would have tossed it
out at the time.
XXXVII. Hoping for a
miracle. The principal, John Heib.
And then I continued, "I
think they're coming down the hall now and I guess we'll just have to
wait and see. We definitely need a miracle right now." And
she said, "I was thinking that we could use a miracle right now
too."
And
then about a minute later Max and Mr. Heib
come in
the door and they both stand by the door. Mr. Heib says, "I was
coming
up the stairs anyway because I thought the upstairs boiler may have
blown up or something. There was a loud bang and some
yelling. Is everyone
alright?"
And we were all like, "Yes." And I was like, "I don't know what
it was
Mr. Heib, but it sure shook the building didn't it?" And Mr. Heib
said, "You're Bud's boy, Ace, aren't you?" And I said, "Yes I
am".
And Mr. Heib said, "That explains it. I think it was a lot of air
in
the pipes again. We'll have to have maintenance look at it
tomorrow."
And Max sticks his
finger out and said, "I warned you Karen. Unsupervised. He
caught you
two finally."
and
points at Karen and then to me. Then Mr. Heib speaks up, "That's
enough
Max. I'll do
the warning around here." And then Mr. Heib says, "Karen I can
tell
you are not alright, but I need to ask you anyway, are you
alright?"
And Karen says, "No, you're going to fire me aren't you?" And
Karen is
in tears. And then Mr. Heib (John) says, "Well, I think this has
gone
on long enough. I have known about you two talking for quite a
while
now as I pass by your room once in a while to make sure things are
alright. I have also heard several of your conversations Ace and
Karen
and I can honestly say that you two make Romeo and Juliet look like a
children's book and I honestly used to sneak up here and listen to you
two
talk because I really enjoyed hearing how you two were dealing with
your problems and trying to solve them together. I wish me and my
wife
were more like you two. And like you, I didn't want anyone
getting
into trouble and I still don't. As far as being unsupervised, I
just
told you that I have been watching you two so I can not honestly say
that you two have been unsupervised. That is going in my
report. I don't have a reason to
fire you
Karen. You did nothing wrong here. Ace on the other hand,
did you
threaten Mr. Baer?" And I was like, "Yes, I did. I told Mr.
Baer that
if he ever came within arms length of me or Miss Bihuniak again, I
would kill him." And Mr. Heib said, "Did your dad ever tell you
about
the time he cleaned my clock because I was mouthy to your mom?
Well,
he cleaned my clock and I learned not to be so mouthy. I learned
a
valuable lesson that day from your dad and I still remember it to this
day. And I must now say that I do not want to hear what actually
happened here just a little while ago because I feel there would
definitely be a lot of extra paperwork than there is going to be
already. I also have a feeling that I would have to call the cops
and
we would be out a science teacher." And then Mr. Heib looked over
at
Max and Max had his head down. And then Mr. Heib continued, "If I
let
Ace loose right now, that would be a sh*t ton of paperwork and the
school would be out a science teacher and I definitely don't want that
either. Yes, Ace, your dad cleaned my clock but good and he
didn't
look nearly as pissed off as you do right now. I'm gonna
take your
word for it Ace. Your dad was always good on his word
too. And
Max, your dad was a professional boxer, wasn't he?" And Max said,
"Yes, World Champeen (champion)." And Mr. Heib said, "That's what
I
thought. Actually, I took boxing while I was in college
myself.
Fascinating sport and I actually liked it as it allowed me to get out
some of my aggressions at the time. Ace's dad was a southpaw and
when
he hit me, he hit me with what is known as an overhand cross. It
is
illegal in the boxing ring, but me and Ace's dad weren't in the
ring.
He missed by about a half inch or I wouldn't be talking here right
now. I have always been grateful that he missed and I got a
second
chance. Ace, on the other hand is a different story. Ace's
records
indicate that he is ambidextrous and can use both hands equally.
I am
not sure what that would equate to, only that I wouldn't want to be the
one to find out. I still love the sport, but I feel I have said
enough
about boxing for now. I had hoped that I wouldn't have to step
in, but
now
I feel I must for Karen's safety especially. I am going to fill
out
the paperwork and have a monitor assigned to you, Karen, as a
precaution. The monitor will have specific instructions which I
will
tell you all now. Please listen up carefully and if you have any
questions or comments, feel free to speak up. The monitor is to
report
to me if Max comes anywhere near you Karen, at any time, for any
reason, this monitor is to let me know immediately. Is that
understood
Max?" And Mr. Baer (Max) said, "Yes." and shook his head.
And then
Mr. Heib continued, "As far as Ace and Karen talking, the monitor will
also have specific instructions that you two can say whatever you want
to each other so long as the monitor is present. The monitor is
not
there to spy on you two, but I feel a monitor is needed for Karen's
safety right now. As far as Ace and Max, I will just give some
advice
for you two now and I hope it sinks in. If I were Max, when
science
class begins, I would be sitting in my chair and away from the door
until after Ace comes in. If I were Ace, I would probably want to
sit
by the door and away from Max and leave as soon as class is over.
While class is in session, if I were Max, I definitely would not come
within arms length of Ace during class. I would know
better. This
isn't jealousy that I see in Ace. I see rage which is a whole
'nother
animal altogether. I would definitely not like to see that rage
unleashed. Is that understood Max and Ace?" And we both
shook our
heads yes and I said, "Yes, definitely Mr. Heib, understood. I'll
move
by the door." And Mr. Heib said, "Thank you Ace. And you
Max?" And Max
just said, "Understood." And then Mr. Heib just said, "I'll have
everything in place tomorrow and we'll all talk in the morning
again.
I think now we ought to call it a day and you three head home and I'll
get everything set up for tomorrow. Just as a precaution, Max,
you
need to leave with me first. Ace and Karen, I am going to close
the
door. Wait until I come back and open the door and then you two
can
leave. Do not open the door or leave under
any circumstances until I
come back even if someone knocks. And stay away from the door
just in case. Is that understood Ace and Karen?" And Karen
and
I both
said "Yes" and shook our heads yes. Then Mr. Heib said, "Come
on Max, let's go." And then Mr. Heib and Mr.
Baer (Max)
left and then we heard the doors close and then I looked over at Karen
and her eyes were just beaming in a good way. And then I said, "I
didn't want to say anything, but I have seen Mr. Heib by the door
several times listening in on us with a smile on his face. I
figured
everything would be alright. I know you're not OK, but are you
feeling
better now?" And she was like, "Thank you. I really thought
it was
all over. Here's another extra vocabulary word for you, ecstatic,
that's as close as I can come to how I feel right now. You
knew?" I
was like, "Actually, me and Mr. Heib never talked, but I knew if he
disapproved he would have stepped into the room while we were
talking and said something to us.
He smiled at me many times and I am pretty sure that he really liked us
talking because he always seemed to have a smile on his face when he
walked by. A few times he actually stood by the door, and
listened to
us while your chair was turned the other way. He's a really nice
guy
actually. He can be mean when he has to be though." And she
was like,
"You're not mad at me for Max are you?" And I was like, "That was
Max's fault. I can't be mad at you anyway for anything. I
actually
felt sorry for you. I wanted to help, but I knew you had to deal
with
it in your own way without me interfering. We're both a lot alike
as
you know." And she was like, "I know, we both know and it's still
weird." And I was like, "Not really weird to me now, it's
actually
kind of wonderful." And she was like, "Yeah, weird in a wonderful
way." And I was like, "Exactly, you're always right." And
she said,
"If you know what's good for you I am." And then we both kind of
laughed and then Mr. Heib opened the door and let Karen and me
out. We
both said, "Thanks, Mr. Heib" (actually I think
Karen said "Thanks John.") at the same time and
he smiled, then he
also said, "Karen, if you have any more troubles definitely let me
know. I wish you had come to me sooner with this, but I
understand.
Also, you are not supposed to know this, but the reason I have been
passing by is because someone sent a note to the school board saying
you two were having inappropriate contact with each other. I sent
a note back to them saying that you two have never had any physical
contact and that the teacher sits at her desk and the student sits
across from her desk in a desktop chair. There is always at least
three to four feet between them at all times. I also stated that
the door to the room has always been open during their conversations
and the light is always on. I have the
note in my office if you would like to read it sometime. I
did stretch
the truth a little bit because I was the one
that reached in and turned on the light in the room after Cubby left
that one morning. I met Cubby. Cubby
is a really nice fellow. And I purposely
left out discussing the content of
your conversations because as you know, a few of them could have been
deemed inappropriate by the school board; however, I honestly felt that
under your circumstances, those discussions were actually appropriate
for you two. The school board didn't specifically ask and I kind
of
left that discussion out because I figured that if they really needed
to know details, they would ask again. This
is just a suggestion for you two,
but
because of this investigation, I am asking that you two try to keep
extra distance between yourselves in case a board member shows
up. Instead of the front row, you may want to move to the third
or fourth row Ace just as a precaution. See you both tomorrow and
thanks for not giving me extra paperwork
Ace. Hopefully I can get home at a decent hour. Oops, I
better call
the wife and let her know that I'll be a little late tonight.
I probably ought to call up the florist too
because it's our anniversary today. Thanks
for reminding me. You two would make a great couple. I hope
you don't
take that the wrong way." And Karen and I both said at the same
time,
"Not at all. We don't know what to call us either." And we
all laughed
including Mr.
Heib. And then I said, "Thanks
again and see you tomorrow and happy anniversary." And Karen
said, "Happy anniversary. I hope it works out with your
wife. If you have any troubles, feel free
to have
your wife give me a call and I could probably explain this to her if
you need help John, you have been so helpful to me".
And Karen
and I left and Mr. Heib said, "I'll keep that in
mind Karen" and went back into the school.
As
a side note, our miracle worker, Mr. John "Jack" Heib died in a car
accident on icy roads a couple years later. So
actually,
Karen
did finish out the school year. Karen didn't leave early to work
on
her solo project. So she actually left at the end of June (21,
22, 23,
24, 25, somewhere in there). But
technically we did have a 'substitute'. Karen had been
wearing a rubber (prosthetic) face mask and a black wig since the
beginning of the year. Karen also had been talking in her
'Marlene
Dietrich' low range voice. The rubber mask was about shot with a
couple tears from being taken on and off so much during the school
year. So Karen just said, "It's time for a makeover" and dropped
the
rubber face mask, wig, 'clod hopper' shoes, and the 'old maids' type
long dresses and wore sandals and shorter dresses, her real hair and no
face mask and talked in her normal voice. But it was funny
because it
was still Karen as our substitute teacher, but the other kids referred
to her as the 'blonde bimbo' because she was nowhere near the smart
teacher that Miss Bihuniak was. Like Karen
said, "Ace, I don't want
to
harp on this, but you should really keep a journal." As always,
she
was right. So many pieces to try and put together. I hope I
got them right, or at least close anyway. Four days now, and
hopefully I can finally relax on July 12, 2019 after trying to get all
this out of my system after all these years. And
to note above, Max 'snapped' if you read what Max said
above about 'love' and all that started this mess. Max had some
wild
ideas going on in his head. That is also why I said what I said
about
an arms length away from Max. All I have to do is remember 'Max
hurt
Karen' in my thoughts and I could kill Max with my bare hands no
problem. Max snapped; I could snap too. Not meant as a joke
or such.
Max had some wrong ideas in his head at the start of all this. If
I
get some wrong ideas too, I am no different. I could still talk
to Max so long as we stay out of range just in case.
XXXVIII. Detention and
Rod Temperton, "soul mates" and the "Off the Wall" call.
And on July 15, 2019 the
rest of this is coming
through.
Before leaving on that night, Mr. Heib had Karen and me come to the
office with him. Mr. Heib showed us his letter to the Board of
Education that he sent. He also stated that I would be getting
detention and that Mr. Heib was having Karen be the detention teacher
for the next couple weeks. That way, she would be leaving after
Mr.
Baer had left to avoid possible problems. After the couple weeks,
Mr.
Baer would be put on the detention assignment. Mr. Heib asked
Karen if
that would cause any problems and she was like, "I usually leave for
New York City on Friday, but I can probably work around it. Can I
use
the phone to make a long distance call?" And Mr. Heib said, "So
long
as you pay for it. You can use the phone in the other room.
Just dial
9 to get an outside line, then dial the number." She was like,
"OK,
let me know how much and I'll write a check."
And then Karen and
I
went into the other room and Mr. Heib stayed in his room and used his
phone there. His secretary came in with us and showed Karen the
phone
and told her about the speakerphone as well (old-fashioned version of
the speakerphone where you set the phone into a holder and flipped a
switch to boost the volume). Karen dialed out to New York to
Phil
Ramone's house. I think the phone rang twice and then a guy
picked up
with a british type accent and said, "Hello. Who is
this?" And
Karen said, "Rod, is that you? I know a different number showed
up but
this is Karen." And the voice said, "I wondered who that
was. It's
you? Could you hold on for a minute, my tape recorder is low on
batteries and I am trying to find the batteries." Karen was like,
"Did
you try the drawer?" And Rod was like, "Of course I tried the
drawer,
but somebody must have moved them." A couple drawer sliding
sounds,
some silverware clanging, a couple door closings and then, "I found
them in the other drawer. Hold on. Also, I had a feeling
you would be
calling and I have this odd feeling that I need to tape this because I
think I can get an idea for a song. OK, rolling." And then
Karen
asked, "Are Phil and Itchie there?" And Rod says, "Phil and
Snitchy
went out for a bit. We're clear." And Karen says to me in a
low
voice, "We call Phil's girlfriend Snitchy when she isn't around, so
she's not
around." And Karen goes, "actually if they are gone then the car
is
gone, I was going to ask you if you could swing by the airport and
check flight numbers and times, I got a bit of a problem on
Friday."
And Rod said, "Didn't you get Phil's message yet? Phil called
earlier
to let you know that he is sending me to Los Angeles for two weeks or
so and that you can take the next couple weeks off. That's why
I'm
busy right now. I'm packing for LA. Phil wants me to have at
least
three songs for this new client and I only have the one we have been
working on and that other song from that Bahler guy. His name
kind of
says it all, Bahler. Bail. Trouble. I can't figure
out what you ever saw in
him."
And Karen was like, "We were both lonely." And Rod was like,
"Desperate is more like it." And
then Karen says, "Aw, are you
still mad at me for that prank I pulled when you were hitting on Debbie
Gibson Roddy Woddy? That was what she called him, Roddy
Woddy. So I
played a jealous ex-lover and scared her off." And Rod was like,
"I
was making a bit of progress with her at the pub before you chased
me around with that, what was it, a baseball bat?
[Note, Karen said it was a pool cue off to the side to me.]
I guess I
am still a bit miffed about it." And Karen was like, "She was
just
stringing you along Roddy Woddy. That's Debbie Gibson and you
didn't
stand a chance with her. She's way out of your league Roddy
Woddy."
And Rod was like, "Well I guess I need to change leagues then, can you
help me?" or something like that. I
just
started giggling a little bit in the background
and Rod said, "All right, out with it, what's so funny?" And I
spoke up, "Sorry, I couldn't help it. When you two were arguing
just now, you sounded like a married couple." And Rod said, "Ha
ha, very funny Ace." in a dead pan voice. And then Rod continued,
"Although actually, Karen and I have been cooped up together in the
studio so much it almost feels like we are a married couple, isn't that
right Sugar Muffin?" And Karen said, "That's right My Sweet
Potato Pie." And we all kind of giggled a bit. And
then Rod said, "I know you didn't call me because you
wanted to chit chat, what's the problem?" And Karen said,
"Actually,
you know that boy I have been telling you about?" And Rod said
back,
"OK, how much is the bail? Did the papers get a hold of it
yet? Do you need hush money? How
much trouble are you in? Do you need an abortion? I got
some money
stashed away if you need it, just ask." And Karen said,
"Definitely
not an abortion Rod, we've never even touched each other yet. Not
even
a hug honestly. Actually, you also know that teacher I told you I
was
having problems with? Well, the boy bounced the teacher off the
wall
and I don't think the teacher will be bothering me again. The
boy's
name is Ace. He's my hero." And Rod is like, "OK, how much
bail money
does this boy need? If he helped you out, I would gladly help him
out. Anything just name it." And then I spoke up and said,
"Hi Rod,
it's me, the boy, Ace, and I don't think Max will be bothering her any
more. I straightened his act up in a hurry. He started some
stuff, so
I just reached over her desk and grabbed him with my left hand and
slammed him up against the wall and then let him go and then I read him
the riot act and told him to stay at least an arm's length away from
Karen and me or I'd kill him. I think he got the hint. It's
kind of
too late for him though." And Rod said, "That's just crazy.
Pure
madness. You must be a big kid." And I was like, "I'm
actually about 4 foot 9 inches tall and 100 pounds soaking wet, but he
made me mad because
he hurt Karen and I just let him have it. He is definitely over
6 foot and 300
plus pounds, but after this, he is definitely afraid of me too. I
bounced
him off the wall so hard I cracked the wall which is why I got
detention and Karen was going to tell you that she is going to be the
detention teacher and my babysitter for the next couple weeks so that
Max leaves before she does just as a precaution." And Rod was
like,
"Are you alright Karen?" And Karen was like, "I'm great. I
was
worried about losing my job because of Max, but I know I won't now
because the principal stuck up for me too. That and Ace coming to
my
rescue. I think Ace's words hurt him more than any beating he
could
have got. It's been quite a day today. I'm really happy but
I'm
getting tired now too." And I was like, "She's a little shaken
up, but
I think she's doing much better now." And Rod was like, "I want
to
thank you Ace for helping out our little lady. She is sounding
much
happier now than she has been in a long time. I know she has been
worrying for quite a while now." And I was like, "How do you
rate,
Rod? Last time I said little around Karen, she started throwing
books
at me." And Karen was laughing in the background and then said,
"It's
true Rod. I'll tell you about it sometime. Also,
you know that idea you were looking for? Here, I'll
hand the phone over to Ace and he can tell you." And I spoke up
and
said, "Karen said you were looking for an idea for a theme for her new
album. I got to thinking and how does romantic versus physical
love
sound?" And Rod said, "Actually, that sounds very interesting
Ace. I
think that would work. On one end the emotional attraction and on
the
other end the physical attraction and then having to make a choice
between the two. An excellent idea Ace. I think we can make
it work.
Thanks." And then Rod was
like, "I'm
definitely sensing something about you two. Karen, you and I have
talked, Ace you are
Sagittarius and Karen you are Pisces. Because Ace is the male,
fire dominates you two. There is a passion there that knows no
bounds between you two. This question I am going to ask you now
is very important. You two have not come together yet, have
you?" And Karen and (I) said in unison, "No, we've never
physically
touched. Ace is (I am) too young. I (Karen) would get in
trouble." And Rod said, "That's actually good. Someone is
watching over you two. Soul mates are joined in the spirit, if
the flesh joins too, your spirits would long for eternity wishing to
return to the flesh again. So long as you two don't touch, you
should be fine. Remember what I just told you two." And we
were like, "Thanks for warning us Rod." in unison of course. And
then Rod continued, "With over 2 billion people on this planet, the
odds are astronomical that soul mates would find each other in this day
and age. In other words, the chance of soul mates finding each
other is zero. Impossible. Ace and Karen, could
you
hold your hands up and look by the thumb on each other's hands?" And
Karen and I were like, "OK, now what?" at the same time. And
then the secretary opened up the door and saw us two
standing there with our hands up in the air standing around the phone
on the table, then said, "I'm not even going to ask. When you two
are
done with your séance with the phone, your paperwork is ready in
the
next room." And then the
secretary just shut the door. And Rod
said,
"Is there someone else present with you two? No matter. Karen,
I know your line by your thumb is short. Is Ace's line
long
and down to his wrist?" And Karen said, "Yes." And
then Rod asked, "Do you two ever argue?" And I was like,
"I got this one. No. We don't argue. How can you
argue with someone
when she's always right?" And Karen was like, "And if he knows
what's
good for him, he better admit that I'm right too." And Rod said,
"Good
one. I like it. Hard to argue with that." And
then Rod
asked,
"Do you two sometimes know what the other is thinking without
asking?"
And we both said, "Yes." And then Rod
asked,
"Do you two always seem to make each other happy and feel like you are
floating on air?" And we both said, "Yes." And
then Rod said, "This one is really important. I really need to
know the truth from you two on this one. Have you two ever dreamt
about each other?" And we both said in unison, "No." And
Rod said, "Are you sure about that?" And both Karen and I said,
"Positive." And then Rod said, "Believe it or not, you would be
surprised how many westerners mess up that question. Either one
or the other will say yes or no or they will both say yes. This
is very unusual. Western culture almost has a stigma with
literature and such which tends to fantasize about the
person of your dreams and such, but truthfully, soul mates do not dream
about each other. I don't know why that is, it just is."
And then Karen and I said in unison, "We both feel that we are each
other's dreams come true." And
Rod said, "I'll have to think about that. You two are definitely
soul mates. I can tell
by the
way you two sound. I can also tell by your voice Karen. And
your
voice too Ace. You two have a bond between you that can't be
broken even by death. So long as you two think of each other,
even if
the
other isn't there, you will be happy." And Karen and I were like,
"Soul mates. That's what we are." at the same time. And Rod
was like,
"There's more that I need to tell you two. After a person finds
their soul mate, they do not return back to the Earth after they
die. Now you know why I told you about not touching each
other. There are dire consequences if you do touch each other in
the flesh. The reason why I asked you two to show your hands to
each other is that Ace, you are going to be around a long time after
Karen passes away. She is your soul mate and you will miss her,
but she will always be there to comfort you in your thoughts. Now
I know that all I have to do to cheer Karen up is just say Ace
now. That makes my job a lot easier." And then Rod was
like,
"Speaking of my job Karen, I feel kind of bad about this, but Phil is
looking to try and get Michael Jackson on board which is why he is
wanting your song and asking me to sabotage your recording
sessions. Three songs, which I am starting to get an idea now for
that third
song. I'll have to work on it on the flight to Los Angeles, but I
think I got something now. I'm starting to get a melody in my
head
which is usually how it starts. I am in an ethical dilemma now
because Phil is the one who signs my checks and if I want a check, I
have to do what Phil wants. You, Karen, are the one giving Phil
the money so that Phil can write my checks. But if Phil could
take Michael
away from Quincy Jones, that would be a big feather in Phil's
cap. Oh my. Look at the
time. This call
will probably cost you a small fortune Karen. We can talk
later. Ace,
it has been a pleasure to finally talk to you. You are really an
off
the wall kind of guy and I like that." And I was like, "It's been
great talking to you too Rod. It's great knowing that someone
else
likes making Karen happy too. All you have to do is just say the
magic
word Ace and presto change-o, instant happiness. Actually, on my
end,
just say the word Karen and I do the same thing." And then Karen
was
like, "Good luck on your trip and I understand about the songs
Rod. I
love those songs too. It's not your fault. Maybe after a
couple
weeks, we can try out that new song you got too. Anyway, I better
let
you go before Phil and Snitchy get back." And Rod was like,
"Thanks
for reminding me, I better put those batteries back in the drawer, you
know how she gets." And Karen was like, "Don't forget to wipe
this
number out of the phone Rod, this is actually my work number and if
they called it, it would be the school answering." Rod was like,
"Already done. We better go. I think they may be
coming up the drive now." And we
hung up. Somewhere in there too, Rod
mentioned fishing and "reeling you in" and I said something like, "She
wouldn't need to reel me in,
I'd probably just jump up on shore at her feet." I
think Karen said the call ended up costing her 25
dollars
because we talked so long (at least 20 minutes), but she could write it
off as a business expense on her tax deductions.
Then Karen
called her
cousin, that she is staying with, and she told her she got a call
from Phil and Phil left a message to take the next two weeks off.
Karen just told them that she was alright and that she
finally got some of her problems at school cleared up which is why she
was running late. She told her cousin that she was doing much
better
now and that she was also going to be staying later doing the detention
classes and that she would talk more when she got there. Her
cousin
also mentioned the 'earthquake' and that a couple things had fallen
over at the house and her cousin was actually glad that Karen called
her. Like Karen's cousin said, "That earthquake was really
something
and I'm glad you're OK. I know you're used to earthquakes out in
California, but we almost never get one here and if that's what they're
like you can have them." She
understood. Mr. Heib had called my parents
saying that I was
going to
be getting home late because I got detention and of course they talked
about cleaning clocks. Then we all kind of left like above and
Mr.
Heib went back in and called his wife on their anniversary and all that.
XXXIX. The day after
and beyond. I love you more...
And what about the
aftermath of what happened
above for those that were
smart enough to skip ahead, and even for those that weren't so
smart? Well, I actually do not remember much after the big blow
out and the events leading to it.
I do remember now on January 16, 2020
that Max
Baer, the
boxer and Max Jr.'s dad, showed up on the day after I believe.
Maxi had
the gruff voice but I could also tell that he was upset. And as
Maxi
spoke it became very apparent that Maxi was upset at his son and not
myself or Karen. But Maxi had talked with Karen first to find out
what
happened after Max had called his dad saying there was possible
trouble. So Maxi came in and talked with Karen and Karen
explained
that she really didn't want any possible publicity or such and that Max
had been dealt with so Max wasn't going to be a problem anymore.
Karen
kind of told Maxi what happened and that the police weren't going to be
involved and Karen pointed me out to Maxi and said that I was the one
that remodelled her wall with Max and Max had gone to the hospital and
had to wear a chest compression bandage for 2 weeks. Maxi then
had
some fun with me and I can honestly say that Max Baer the boxer liked
kids and was not actually a mean person; he just had a gruff
voice.
But Maxi came over to me and was like, "So you're the tough guy that
sent my baby boy to the hospital. Come on tough guy let's see
what
you're made of and let's see how you do against old Maxi. Come
on, put
'em up. We got a score to settle. I got my family honor to
protect
here and with that being said I would just like to shake your hand and
say thank you for putting my son in his place. I heard what
happened
with her and he deserved it." And we shake hands and then he
continues, "I think he gets it from his mother's side. He's my
son,
but Max ain't the brightest penny in the barrel; that's for sure.
He
ran off to Hollywood and he got all these stupid ideas in his
head.
Me, I lived on the streets and worked hard and became world champeen
(champion). He's my son and he's all I got but he can be a real
dumb
ass sometimes. Thank you for trying to set my son straight.
We OK?"
And I was like, "Yeah, we're OK." or something like that. And
then
Maxi went over across the hall and proceeded to chew his son, Max, a
new one (as we call it a new a**hole). "I thought you said you
had
trouble..." and Maxi just verbally tore right into Max, "...you're
stupid...I bailed you out...they're nice people...look
at you...a little
kid?...This is embarassing...What
were you thinking?...Hollywood..." At first Max was like, "Yes
father" like a preacher then Max
was
in tears after a short while and Maxi just tore into Max even more and
not just verbally.
Sometimes you just have to try and tell it like it is or they just
don't get it. "...3 to 5 years in the state pen, minimum, is that
what you want?...straighten up..."
And the reason for the ... is because Karen and I were listening to
what was going on across the hall and we were both saying to each other
at the same time, "He's gonna get it. He's gonna get it.
He's gonna get it. [smack sound in background from across the
hall] He got it."
I also kind of remember the day
after and my walking in and sitting towards the back of the class like
Mr. Heib had asked. When I came in, my teacher waved and said to
the
monitor something like, "That's the boy I was telling you about,
Ace."
And then the monitor picked up the phone and Karen said something like,
"He's not the one." And Karen took the phone out of the monitor's
hand
and hung it up. And the monitor said, "I know that, he seems like
a
really nice boy, but there is someone coming from across the
hall."
And Karen said, "Oops, sorry." And the monitor said, "Mr. Heib is
on
his way anyway." Mr. Baer sent over a letter with a student named
Brian. I remember Karen ripping up the letter without reading it
and
throwing it in the trash. And then Mr. Heib showed up shortly
after
and I do not remember much after that on the first day
afterwards.
I
do remember the monitor being
there and Karen and I still talking a lot.
I do also remember that the
monitor was actually a secretary too and not really a teacher.
The monitor also said that Mr. Heib would always smile when the
secretary would read something that Karen and I said during our
conversations. Mr. Heib would usually ask the secretary to read
it back three or four times then put it away in the special 'hidden'
folder Mr. Heib had. Inside this folder was also Karen’s actual
school records just in case someone found out that Karen was using an
alias. Karen was qualified, but Karen was looking to avoid
possible publicity so she used an alias was all. Karen's actual
records were more qualifying than the alias she used as her alias only
had a high school diploma without any college at all. And
respectfully no one ever tried to 'blow her cover' so to speak, but the
records were there, hidden, just in case. There were a few times
when Karen and I got
so excited talking to each other that the secretary (monitor) asked us
to slow down because she couldn't keep up. So a few times Karen
and I talked in slow motion just as a joke because we would get so
excited and the secretary would start laughing too and say, "Alright
you two. You crack me up. Not that slow. Just try to
pause a little here and there so I can catch up." And one time we
were
so excited, the secretary said, "I hope I'm not interrupting you two
but this is good stuff here. I know Mr. Heib is going to want to
hear it at least three or four times. I like hearing it
myself. Keep it going. Oops, just pretend like I'm not
here." After that first time, if we started going too fast, the
monitor would just say, "Pretend like I'm not here." And we would
both say, "We do." and we would pause for a little bit until she
stopped writing, and then continue on. Honestly, most of the
time, we forgot there was a monitor there.
Most of the excited
talks were either about how we felt about each other or about Michael
Jackson's Off
the Wall album being finished on June 3rd and Karen was so excited
about the songs she started, "Rock with You" and "Off the Wall" and
because she was so excited, I was excited too. It would go like
this, Karen would say, "Michael Jackson finished his new album Off the
Wall and my two songs are on it. I like what he did with the
songs. Rock with You is definitely our song. It's written
about us. It has this really awesome beat. Rod snuck me a
copy." And I would be
like, "That's great Honey. Our song is on there and I know it
will be a #1 some day. It can't miss." And she would be
like, "I know it's great. I got a call from Michael, himself,
thanking me. I love that song and I listen to the demo tape over
and
over again
because it reminds me of you." And we would just go back and
forth and the secretary would be writing like crazy because we were
talking so fast Karen, Ace, Karen, Ace, back and forth without a
pause. She broke several pencils trying to keep up, but luckily
she had an electric pencil sharpener too. I think the secretary
went through at least a pencil and a steno pad every week. I
know Karen thanked me for putting Mr. Baer in his place, and I know she
told me some stuff about the kind of impact my words had on Mr. Baer,
but I can't really remember exactly what was said now. I think
she said that my words were worst than any beating he could have
got.
I do remember that each time I went into Mr. Baer's science
room that Mr. Baer was in his teacher's chair behind the desk and I sat
in the chair closest to the door. I also think that every time I
came in, I slammed everything down on the desk and then I took my left
hand and put my left elbow on the desk and made a fist and looked right
at Mr. Baer with that get too close and I'm going to kill you look I
had. And honestly, he didn't get too close either and he rarely
even looked at me except to see if I was seated or not. Mr.
Baer's voice was definitely much calmer the rest of the year and not as
cocky as he had been before. So I know I definitely had a
positive impact on him. Karen and I also talked too about what
other kids were saying about what was going on and what most of the
other kids thought about Karen, my teacher, having a monitor.
Most of the kids thought that Karen got in trouble for doing something
with me instead of protection from Mr. Baer.
As far as our
'feeling' talks, Karen and I had started doing this back and
forth. I (or Karen) would say, "I love you." And Karen (or
I) would say, "I love you more." And then I (or Karen) would say,
"I love you more than more." And then Karen (or I) would say, "I
love you more than more with a cherry on top." And then I (or
Karen) would say, "I love you more than more with a cherry on top of
pickled ice cream." And then Karen (or I) would say, "I
love you more than more with a cherry on top of pickled ice cream with
a stork flying around". And we would just keep going back and
forth adding to the 'I love you more story'. Sometimes
we added some really romantic stuff, but many times we would throw in
stuff like "used toilet paper" and such and we would start getting a
really bad case of the giggles trying to outdo each other. I
remember saying one time, "I got you this time. I love you more
than biting into an apple and finding a worm. Beat that."
And then Karen said, "I love you more than biting into an apple and
finding half a
worm. I think you forgot that I used to date Steve Martin."
And then of course me with, "I love you more than
dingle berries." And Karen is like, "I know better than to ask,
but
what are dingle berries?" And I was like, "You know when you poop
and
it gets stuck to your butt hairs? Dingle berries." And
Karen was
like, "That's what I figured."
That's real love. For more real love, try
these...
And in 1979 Karen and I
would both say to each other "I love you more than..." (who said what,
and note, for the 'Karen and me' comments, we said it at the same time
together)
"...used toilet paper" (me)
"...biting into an apple and finding a worm. Beat
that." (me)
"...biting into an apple and finding half a worm" (Karen)
"...sky diving without a parachute" (me)
"...being tossed into an active volcano" (Karen)
"...doing homework" (me)
"...correcting homework and tests" (Karen)
"...the hiccups" (Karen)
"...pricker bushes" (Karen)
"...doing chores" (Karen and me)
"...getting stuck in traffic" (Karen)
"...getting sick" (Karen and me)
"...stubbing my toe" (Karen)
"...limping" (me)
"...more" (me)
"...cow pies" (Karen)
"...a headache" (Karen)
"...cooties" (me)
"...being stung by a bee" (Karen)
"...smelly gym socks" (me)
"...racing stripes in our underwear" (Karen and me)
"...Castor Oil" (me)
"...Cod Liver Oil" (Karen)
"...ever" (me) "You cheated. I was just thinking that."
(Karen)
"...standing down wind at a chili cook off" (me) "What's
wrong with chili?" (Karen)
"...standing down wind at a farting contest" (me) "Why didn't
you say that in the first place?" (Karen)
"...leftovers" (me) "I like leftovers. You must really love
me." (Karen)
"...earthquakes and tidal waves" (me)
"...earthquakes and mud slides" (Karen)
"...getting a wedgie" (me)
"...getting an atomic wedgie" (Karen) "What's an atomic
wedgie?" (me) "Your underwear goes over your head" (Karen)
"...sneezing and kissing a fool" (Karen)
"...eating with chopsticks" (me) "It's easy. I'll show
you some time" (Karen)
"...making bubbles in the bathtub without bubble bath" (me)
"That sounds like fun" (Karen) "It is until the bubbles burst.
Try saying that three times fast" (me) "Bubbles
burst; bubbles burst; bubbles burst" (Karen and me)
"...paying bills" (Karen)
"...a hang nail" (Karen)
"...sleeping on a bed of nails" (me)
"...having a wart" (Karen)
"...rubber baby buggy bumpers" (Karen and me)
"...reciting poetry" (Karen) "You're a singer" (me) "I know
it sounds weird but trust me on this" (Karen)
"...walking on hot coals" (Karen)
"...being invited to a cannibal's dinner party" (me)
"...getting food stuck in my teeth." (Karen)
"...finishing 11th place in a 10 person marathon" (me)
"...dirty diapers" (Karen)
"...dirty dishes" (Karen)
"...dirty laundry" (Karen)
"...mowing the lawn" (me)
"...cleaning up dog poop in the yard" (Karen and me)
"...having an itch in a place you can't scratch" (me)
"...slamming my hand in the car door" (Karen) "Ouch" (me)
"...falling down the stairs" (Karen)
"...falling up the stairs" (me) "That was funny that time"
(Karen)
"...having a nightmare where you went to school in your
pajamas and then you realize that you hadn't gone to sleep" (me) "So
that's why you were late for homeroom the other day?" (Karen) "Yup" (me)
"...dingle berries" (me) "I know better than to ask, but what
are dingle berries?" (Karen) "You know when you poop and it sticks to
your butt hairs? Dingle berries." (me) "That's what I figured."
(Karen)
Love you forever Honey,
from Darling
Karen
and I got
asked about advice for couples and we had this to say, "We are two
people that want to be together. That's our secret.
Everything else falls into place after that. We want to be
together all the time, but that isn't possible. But when we are
apart, we still feel like we are there with each other in our
thoughts. We like to make each other happier, and it may seem
weird, but at times we thought we couldn't be happier, but we were
somehow. We still do our own things, but our most precious thing
is our times together."
XL. Calm down. I
mean
it.
I was so upset for so long
after the incident between Karen and
Max and me. About a week or two later Karen just said to me, "I
know you
hate Max, but that anger I see in you isn't doing you any good.
If you keep this up you are probably going to give yourself a heart
attack and end up in the hospital and I don't want to go through that
with you. [and Karen starts crying a little] I would visit
you in the hospital if it happens, but I know I wouldn't be able to
look at you and I would just start crying like I am now. I know
what
Max did was wrong, but I was raised Christian and it is wrong to hate
too. I was the one that Max did that to, and if I can find it in
my heart to forgive him, I am hoping you can do the same. Will
you at least try for my sake?" And I was like, "I can try.
I used to feel sorry for him because I knew people picked on him
because of his goofy voice, but after what happened with you, I don't
feel sorry for him anymore. You know how protective I get with
people that get picked on. I can't really forgive and forget, but
I can try to let go of my anger about all of this, because like you
know, it isn't doing anybody any good. Thanks for your concern
and I'll try. Besides, I know if I do end up in the hospital I
know you'll definitely come in to see the look on my face when I
realize that the rectal thermometer tastes funny. And then you
can tell the nurses how the life insurance policy is all paid up and
that I like sleeping with my head buried under the pillows." And
then Karen said, "I know you are trying to make me feel better with
jokes, but losing you is not a joke to me. What you just said now
only made me feel worst. I almost feel like this is all my
fault. I really don't want to lose you.
You helped me and now I feel I need to help you. You need to stop
being so angry. No joke. I mean it. I really don't
want to lose you because I don't think I could handle losing you
because you mean so much to me now." And I was like, "First,
back the truck up, there is no way that any of this
has been your fault. Max did what he did, you did nothing wrong,
but
now I feel I am doing what I need to do. I
understand. But Max brought this all on himself by doing what
he's been doing. There is no way I can blame you in any of this,
honestly, you have done nothing wrong. If
you've noticed, I've never been the least bit angry with you about
anything because how can any of this be your fault; you
did nothing wrong; but Max is another
story. All joking aside, when I feel he isn't going to try
and hurt you anymore, the anger will go away, but not until.
There's nothing I can really do about it. I'll be alright.
It's you I worry about. Remember our palms, you go before
me. I don't know how or when, but you go before I do..."
And then Karen was like, “Max is a little different. I remember
Max telling me that his dad’s idea of sex education was taking him to a
brothel and giving him a couple hundred bucks so he could have
fun. I know it’s not an excuse, but we’re all raised a little
differently, even you and me. I hope you understand.” And I
was like, “Yup, I understand. Each person is a little different
and some take longer than others to learn and some just never learn at
all. The school of hard knocks I guess is what they call it
now." And Karen was like, “You got it.” I
remember that the day after this talk with Karen, Mr. Baer said to me,
"If you want me to say that I'm a chicken sh*t, then I'm a chicken
sh*t." And then I knew he wasn't going to try to get back at her
or me for what happened that was actually his fault anyway.
[Blank]ing somebody, threatening to have them arrested, and then trying
to get them fired from their job is not forgivable in my book.
Once done, you can't un[blank] someone. But
people can and do make mistakes. Mr. Baer
(Max) was very
quiet the rest of the school year. I
figured that I had said what I needed to say to him after I slammed him
up against the wall. Things happened and I moved on. What
else could I do? If you forgive someone for something like that,
then what are they going to do next after they've been forgiven without
actually earning that forgiveness? Sometimes it is just best to
move on, so I moved on. I just can't
forgive someone for forgiveness' sake. Someone
has to earn forgiveness from me. And forgiveness
from me is earned by trying to make amends as best as possible.
Repentance (admitting a wrong was done) and penance (making amends for
that wrong as best as possible). I am aware
that Max worked on a movie called 'Star 80'
which did make people aware of people having mental problems and
breakdowns and such, and Karen is not around any more to be hurt.
XLI. Our morbid and
off color sense
of humor
And one of Karen and my
favorite sayings at the time was, "If you love
something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, then hunt it
down and kill it (instead of 'it was never meant to be')." Karen
and I always came back to each other, so all was fine between us.
Yes, Karen and I did have a morbid sense of humor at times.
And of course another big joke at the
time was,
"Smokey the
Bear says only you can prevent forest fires. Please don't wear
corduroys if you have thunder thighs."
Karen and I were also both the types
that could
not resist
waving hello to someone that had armfuls of packages. You know
that
awkward moment when someone realizes that they can't wave back or
oops...
And you know that awkward moment when
you are
looking for
your keys and then you realize they have been in your hand the whole
time.
With the psychology and psychiatry stuff, “You are getting
sleepy. Your eyes are getting very, very heavy… You are
asleep.” And then I might say, “Bark like a chicken.” And
Karen would say, “You first.” Or I would say, “Sing like a
canary.” And Karen would go, “Woof woof.” And me, “Meow
like a cat.” And Karen, “Tweet tweet.” Stuff like that.
Then we would talk about how Karen and her cousin Wendy would fall
asleep in front of the TV with their knitting needles in their
hands. Karen would also mention that she hadn’t been sleepwalking
since about the first week or so. Maybe it was the recliners or
maybe because she was feeling a bit more relaxed being away from the
hustle and bustle of the music biz. Would have to wait and see I
guess.
And of course, "That's the way the
cookie bounces
and the
ball crumbles." This was Karen and me, we had definitely seen
more
cookies bounce and balls crumble than the other way around.
“Oops, I got my mirds wixed up.” At times Karen and I would kind
of get our words mixed up, so mirds wixed up.
And discussing classic literary works such as "The Yellow
River" by I.
P. Dailey and "The Frozen Mystery" by Hu Shitinda Icebox.
"Be careful about jumping to
conclusions.
When you jump to
conclusions you tend to assume and when you assume, you tend to make an
ass out of you and me."
And of course, opera. "It ain't
over until
the fat lady
sings." Karen and I both agreed that the Carpenters did not do
opera
or else none of the Carpenters' shows would have ever ended. The
Carpenters didn't have a fat lady. "No
opera" was a rule. "No disco" was still open for debate.
And "coyote music"? Yeah, there is some
music that just sounds like someone is howling at the moon or
such. Slim Whitman's "Cattle Call" is a
good example of this. "Ow ow owoooo".
Whoopee cushion music? "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo
Springfield is
a good example of this. "You better stop [whoopee cushion sound]
what's that sound, everybody look what's going down..." repeat.
And another nickname for Karen, Buck Snort. If you could get
Karen
laughing good enough, she would start snorting with her nose while
laughing and that would get her to start laughing even more and more
snorting and more laughing and the tears of joy. Karen always
loved a good laugh.
A new saying too, “Accidentally on purpose” as in “I accidentally on
purpose put a bucket of water with a string on it above the door so
that when the door opened you accidentally on purpose got soaked”.
And of course Dr. Ruth
Westheimer. She was
always taking guy's penises on TV one way or the other.
Me, "What color's your hair?".
Karen,
"Black I think." Me,
"What color's the hair on top of your head?" Karen as she
takes off
her wig, "It's a wig. See. My hair is actually a strawberry
blonde
color and I wear the wig so that hopefully people don't recognize
me.
Why do you ask?" Me, "Just curious." Karen, "I bet.
You are a
teenager after all. You might want to watch who you ask that to,
I
have a feeling that one of these times someone is going to smack that
little smirk off your face." Me, "Smacking lips is cool with the
right
person." Karen, "I can't argue with that. Do you have
anyone in
mind?" Me, "Yes, you know I always think of you but you'd get in
trouble." Karen, "Trouble is my middle name." Me, "Mine
too." And Karen and I have our hands on the desks ready to jump
over the desks and have at each other. Then Max
(teacher across the hall) standing by the door, "Am I interrupting
something?" Karen and I at the same time, "No, nothing at
all. Come on in."
And in the news today, Cleopatra found
out that
playing with her asp too much was not such a good idea after all.
And speaking of current events, Baby M had been born, the world’s first
‘Test Tube Baby”. There were now 13 signs of the zodiac that
people could be born under. The thirteenth sign being “Pyrex”.
And of course, Ben Dover, the executive
in charge
of
promotions around here. If you are looking to move up the
corporate
ladder then bend over, I mean Ben Dover, may be able to help you.
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips
and chains excite me (instead of 'names will never hurt me').
And also, this was a time of hedonism
and S &
M (Sadism &
Masochism) and Karen and I had an inside joke about this and we used to
call it "M & M's" because Karen and I weren't really ones to hurt
others if we could help it. I would joke with Karen and say, "Are
you
sure you don't want to get on your fishnet stockings, high-heels, and
short skirt and spank me? I've been a bad boy lately and I need
some M
& M's." And Karen would say, "I know it's still allowed but I
don't believe in corporal punishment and how is a spanking going to
keep you from bad behavior? You'd like it too much." I
never could
find a good answer for that one.
Drumming is a dangerous
profession. There's
nowhere to hide back there and a couple good bean farts and you're done
for.
And of course meeting new people sometimes I couldn’t help myself and
Karen would get a kick out of it too, like… “Dr. Ace,
proctologist, you’d be surprised the amount of money you could save by
not wearing rubber gloves and who is going to look back to
notice. Do you wanna shake on that?” and “Joseph Konyu, great
white buffalo hunter, you may have never herd of buffalo but surely
you’ve heard of joke on you?” and “I’m the Great Zilcho, really that
name means nothing to me, zero, zilch, nada, but what’s in a name
anyway?” and “Most honorable greetings. I am Confusion. He
who hesitates must pause. Man must learn to be wise like potato
chip. Sank you for displeasure on shaking your hand.” And “Oh,
sorry about that [wipe hands on pants] I was raised in a barn and
sometimes you miss some stuff.” Yeah, Karen and I were a lot
alike before we met each other. And yeah too, Karen would warn me
beforehand not to do that stuff with certain people. Karen would
point her finger at me and tell me, “No monkey business” when she
needed me to be serious.
And as Karen and I would both say,
"Teenagers. You can't live with them, but we wouldn't be here
without them."
And to end this on an actual serious
note, Karen
and I
actually did have a serious talk about becoming jewish and moving to
Israel because the legal age there was 13. We also talked about
bar
mitzvah and that kind of stuff. We were seriously talking of
becoming
jewish and moving to Israel. Not meant as a hypothetical joke or
such. But then Karen thought about the laws over there and that I
would need to serve in the military at age 16 and Karen was dead set
against the possibility that I might die before her. Karen and I
decided that we were going to try and stick it out until after I turned
16 and I became 'legal'. 18 if possible, 16 minimum.
XLII. Perfectionist?
I have seen it many times
where it has been said that Karen was a
'perfectionist'. Kind of. Honestly, Karen said to me many
times, "If
you are going to do something, always make it worthwhile and always try
to do your best in everything you do." And also, "If you are
going to
do something then you might as well do it well."
And the classic, "You don't get a second chance to make a first
impression." And also, "if you are
going to give it, then give it all you got every time" and "always put
your best foot forward" as well. The Karen I knew did not truly
believe in 'perfection' per se, but more of "How can I do something
better? Can something be done better? I can try."
Karen, as a
teacher, realized that I 'held back' many times and Karen always tried
to encourage me to 'do my best'. Then Karen started noticing that
a
lot of times my 'worst' at times was better than everyone else's 'best'
and that I held back many times because at my worst, many times it was
'overkill' and when I was at my best I was usually beyond most people's
comprehension (including Karen). Many times Karen saw me do
things
that were deemed 'impossible' and then I would demonstrate what 'beyond
impossible' meant after that. Karen realized that she could never
'push me too hard' on anything. At first Karen was excited about
finding someone she couldn't actually push too hard, but then Karen
realized that after a certain point, I was fine, but others would start
becoming lost and confused (including Karen). Then Karen and I
talked
about the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid. There is a
point at
which things can start becoming 'nonsense' and counterproductive.
There is 'the edge' and 'over the edge'. KISS - Keep It Simple
Stupid. And then "better than best" was "as good as it
gets". Karen
and I were a lot alike. Many times Karen did "better than best"
too.
Sometimes it just kept getting better and better... And sometimes
not. As we both understood, "You never know what you may be able
to do
until you try. And if at first you don't succeed, someone else
cheated." And finally (Karen and I), "nothing is ever perfect,
but if
you keep trying, things can usually get better."
XLIII. Solo album
overview part 1. What to believe?
Karen got her job as a
school teacher to get a chance to relax and get away from the music
business and travelling around and such. I believe it was either
the end of February or the beginning of March and Karen came in one day
and was livid and fuming. Karen was upset because the manager,
Jerry Weintraub, had come up with an idea of Karen doing a ‘solo album’
and of course mentioned it to Alpert and Moss and Alpert and Moss were
all for this idea as well since Richard was publicly taking time off to
deal with his quaalude addiction. A manager needs something to
manage and since the Carpenters were big money makers for A & M
Records, A & M was wanting to have some kind of product to work
with too. Karen and Richard both wanted time off. After a
huge argument (as Karen wanted time off and
didn't want to do a solo album) that the details
remain between Karen and Richard (Karen
did actually tell me but I really feel it should remain private about
Karen demanding that Richard pay half since it was his fault that he
didn’t want to give up his time off and put this on Karen’s shoulders,
and so on about Karen finishing her job as a teacher, and so on.
It was just so UNFAIR as Karen was having problems and wanted time off
and Karen had been pulled away to do the Christmas Portrait special and
the Bruce Forsyth show and what time off and why does Richard want time
off anyway [Mary Rudolph] and why was Karen so wanting time off too
[me] which I was there when mom called Karen up at school and mom
spilled the beans to Karen about Richard seeing Mary Rudolph just after
this argument, but it wasn’t until later on [around mid May 1979] that
Karen spilled the beans to Richard about me). All it took was for
Karen’s mom to mention “the pitter patter of little feet” to Karen and
Karen was all for letting her brother have more time off. Karen
agreed to do
a solo album based on promises that Karen and Richard made to each
other (and note, no one except Karen's mom ever won an argument with
Karen, as Karen made sure that even if you thought you won the
argument, you were going to pay dearly for it to the point of feeling
like you were better off losing as if you lost, Karen might feel sorry
for you. Karen would always sneak a bunch of promises in during
an argumnent which was why even if you think you won the argument,
Karen got what she wanted through the promises anyway. Karen and
I never made promises and we never argued. As Karen and I would
say together, "We don't make promises with each other; we mean what we
say and we say what we mean"). Karen told me that the big promise
was that regardless what happened, Karen was going to finish out the
school year and not have to take time off from teaching. Karen
did not want to do the solo album as Karen was already busy enough
teaching and Karen was not wishing to leave her brother or go on her
own musically or any of that. Karen loved working with her
brother and all that they had accomplished together and Karen never
wanted to give that up. It wasn’t about being popular or
successful or making a lot of money with Karen, but about doing things
that Karen felt were worthwhile. Principles. The first
producer thought of
was actually Eddie Kramer. (And I was there when Eddie Kramer came out
to New York State and talked with Karen. Eddie asked Karen to try
someone else as Eddie was used to artists that did their own material
and Eddie would feel like a "fish out of water" just like Karen would
be a "fish out of water" without her brother. Eddie mentioned that he
usually inspired his artists to write their own material with the
"raison d'etre" [reason of being, purpose] speech which was where Karen
had the melody of "I wanna uh with you, uh, uh, uh, uh" pop into her
head which later Rod Temperton and Karen turned into the "Rock with
You" song in May 1979. At the end of the
conversation Eddie was recommending Phil
Ramone but Eddie also had some reserves about Phil. Karen and
Richard
both had a 'goody two shoes' image. Eddie warned that Phil liked
to
drag his clients names through the tabloids to gain extra publicity for
an album release. Eddie said that Phil would probably be the most
likely one to be able to get an album done under the circumstances,
however, Karen needed to be very careful around Phil if Karen had any
skeletons in her closet or such. Eddie said that what Phil would
do is
tell his clients that he needed to get to know them better to bring out
their 'inner essence' or such, but the real reason would be to dig for
dirt for the tabloids and that was why Phil would invite his clients to
live with him - to listen in on private phone conversations, snoop into
personal belongings, stuff like that. Eddie recommended Phil for
his
ability but Eddie had a HUGE reserve because of Phil's track record
with tabloids and bad publicity as tabloids are not interested in
decent or honest stories. Eddie warned Karen that if she did use
Phil
to keep her guard up as far as anything personal. Karen stated to
Eddie that she really didn't have any skeletons).
And with that being said, it was actually
Richard that talked Karen into doing her solo album (with a little help
from mom). Richard asked Karen to do her solo album as a personal
favor to Richard as Richard thought that maybe Karen could learn some
new tricks from Phil Ramone (the next idea for a producer) that might
help Karen and Richard with recording for the Carpenters. After
Passage and the Christmas recordings, Karen and Richard had both
thought that things were possibly getting a little stale for them
musically and after Passage, record sales had been a bit down for a
while. And then the icing on the cake when Richard said to Karen
that Karen couldn’t vocally do disco which as anyone that knew Karen
knew that if you said Karen wasn’t able to do something, she was going
to bend over backwards, if needed, to prove that she could do it.
Yes, as noted in Karen’s diaries, Richard and Karen had an argument
over Karen and her solo album. As far as I’ve ever known, Richard
or mom were NEVER against Karen doing a solo album if she wanted, but
as far as I ever knew, Karen really didn’t want to do a solo album.
Karen told me later in June 1981 that her husband Thomas would get
phone calls from producers offering a lot of money (millions) if Karen
would do a solo album with them. Karen would always refuse as she
always enjoyed working with her brother and she didn’t want to deal
with people bothering her all of the time about doing something
else. After all the mess and work with the Phil Ramone project,
Karen was not interested at all in ‘going solo’. Karen never had
those kind of problems when working with her brother and it just wasn’t
worth the aggravation for Karen to go out on her own. Really,
like with Passage and Made In America, if Karen wanted to try something
different, Richard wasn’t against trying something different too so why
go through all of the added headaches of ‘going solo’? Richard
wanted time off so he could get to know someone better and spend some
time with someone other than his sister. That was actually why
Karen agreed to do a solo album with Phil Ramone. The argument
between Richard and Karen was because why didn’t Richard do a solo
album or greatest hits album or such instead of putting this taking
time off stuff on Karen’s shoulders. Why did Karen have to be the
one to sacrifice taking time off instead of Richard sacrificing his
time off? Well, actually, if I remember correctly mom got
involved and told Karen that Karen was going to do what she was asked
to do by Richard and Richard was going to follow through on whatever
Karen asked for in return as it was only fair as Richard was asking
Karen for a favor so that Richard could spend more time with Mary and
it was only fair that Richard should return those favors to his sister
as Karen was the one sacrificing her time off (and later in mid May the
real favor of Richard not telling ‘the folks’ that Karen was wanting to
be with a 14 year old guy, shhh). And also, later on when mom
thought something was fishy with Karen wanting to stay being a school
teacher and mom wanted Karen to come back home, and Phil Ramone wanting
an extra hundred grand (out of future Carpenters royalties) because
Karen wouldn't move in with Phil or Itchie until after June 22, 1979,
Richard kept his deal with Karen and Karen stayed on as a school
teacher until June 22, 1979 (despite Phil and mom) as promised and
Richard and Karen split the cost of Karen's solo album (including the
extra hundred grand, 50 grand each) as promised. And when Karen
wanted her solo album shelved because of publicity concerns, Richard
helped return a favor and stood behind his sister on her decision to
shelve that costly "can of worms" (Karen's solo album) while originally
others were hoping for some product to be released and make some extra
money and / or notoriety but would have to wait. But this was all
stuff that I heard that came out of Karen's mouth as far as what was
going on with her solo album and Richard and her mom and the
rest. As I said in the beginning, it was up to Karen and Richard
as to what they agreed upon between themselves. Do you really
think that Karen and Richard told mom everything? But because mom
got involved was how Karen knew that this was important to Richard to
take time off again. But don't let the book writers and such fool
you about Karen and her mom. Karen and her mom were closer than
Richard and mom were. Mom and Karen would share secrets
together. Normally, if Richard had a secret and told mom, mom
would tell Karen but ask Karen to keep quiet about it. If Karen
had a secret she shared with her mom, Karen and mom would usually keep
that secret between themselves and not tell Richard or others.
Sure, Richard was 'the favorite' but there is actually a secret story
about that elsewhere as Karen and her mom didn't want Richard sitting
around like a bump on a log and behind every successful man is a strong
woman. Neither Richard nor Karen were ever spoiled. Fiction
writers try to make people think otherwise about Karen and Richard, but
honestly, neither Karen nor Richard were ever spoiled and those that
had the pleasure of meeting Karen and / or Richard could tell that
neither had ever been spoiled. There was never any competition
from Karen or Richard for mom's love or any of that nonsense. Did
Richard want mom to tell him her secrets like mom shared with Karen and
Karen shared with her mom? Really? Not really.
Reality. Does physically touching someone mean that they
care? No. Does not physically touching someone mean that
they do not care? No. Beware of stereotyping and
profiling. Beware of psychobabble. The profile created for
an anorectic does not match the actual real life profile of Karen
Carpenter. Reality. Parents try to provide what they can
for their children, but good parents try to make sure that their
children earn what is provided to them. Imagine what might have
happened if Richard had never got that piano but also imagine what
might have happened if the family had not worked together and got Karen
a set of drums too. Or even worst, what if Karen or Richard had
been misbehaving and thrown tantrums or such and destroyed the piano or
the drums or the microphones or... Good kids and better
adults. Karen and Richard. Does all of this seem
confusing? Great, now you know how Karen felt when all of this
solo album stuff got dropped in her lap. And hopefully you can
tell that I wasn’t prepared for something like this either. Thus
Karen’s solo album was born (really it was more like a rotten egg so
maybe hatched? Can of worms? Here fishy fishy?)…
Yes,
Karen and I talked a bit about her solo album off and on.
The idea was originally by Karen's manager, Jerry
Weintraub, who felt it would give Karen something to do while Richard
was taking time off. Alpert & Moss (A & M) gave the "OK"
as
well. Unfortunately, Karen already had something to do namely
teaching. Karen was actually against the idea at first because
Karen
was already busy enough. Maybe after school was out?
Richard actually
encouraged Karen to do the project and did put the stipulation "no
disco" on Karen which like Karen said, "Richard knows that telling me
that I can't do something is pretty much guaranteeing that I will do
it. It's like a challenge to me. Like
you, I like challenges
too. Tell me something can't be done and I am going to figure out
a
way to do it." Richard had another reserve,
the producer that Jerry hired was a
guy named Phil Ramone who had a track record of dragging his client's
names through the tabloids to try and get extra 'free' publicity and
increase sales that way. Phil Ramone was a well known producer at
the
time and he had a few successes here and there. Richard thought
that
maybe Karen might pick up some new ideas from Phil. A couple
ideas was
all too. First idea was the altering of the background vocals to
give
them a different sound by running them through a 'digitizer' I think is
what Karen called it. The second thing was that Phil used 'pet
names'
to try and personalize the song more. Names like 'Baby' and
'Honey'
and 'Darling' and such. That was it for the learning curve from
Phil
Ramone. Most of
the time before June 1979, Karen usually was feeling down in the dumps
about her solo project and Karen and I usually made each other feel
better. The incident that stands out is this. Karen came
back on a Monday and we both said at the same time, "We definitely need
to talk." So later, after school, Karen and I talked. I
said, "It will probably be easier if I go first. I don't know
what happened, but over the weekend I was just sitting around and a
strange image popped into my head. You were sitting at a kitchen
table with a guy in an orange striped shirt with shorts and sandals and
curly dirty blond hair and an australian or british accent. You
two were laughing and telling stories together. I'm not jealous
as you know, but I am just wondering why this happened." And
Karen was like, "This is kind of what I was going to talk to you about
too. The guy at the table is Rod Temperton the guy who is writing
my songs. You saw me look over didn't you? I saw (felt
maybe) you on my right side and I kind of looked over to see you and
then I continued talking to Rod and you disappeared. That was
you?" I was like, "Kind of, I was still here in Corning, but
somehow, I don't know really how to put it, but I didn't hear what you
guys were saying, I just kind of showed up or whatever it was."
Karen was like, "Well I experienced it too, but like you, I don't know
why either. Nothing was going on or anything." And I was
like, "I know. Not that way, but I almost thought I was losing it
or something." She was like, "Me too, that's why I wanted to talk
to you. I thought I was going nuts too. It's just
weird." And I was like, "I'll say. We both had it
happen. We're not nuts. At least not yet anyway. Oh
well, stuff happens." Another time, I asked Karen about "What is
the red light in the white room for?" And Karen said, "It
depends on what side of the glass you are on. On the
other side, the red light is for when we are
recording and means do not enter under any circumstances. It
turns green when we're done. It's the opposite when you
are inside the room. Rod usually works the controls. How
did you
know?" And I was like, "Same as the other
time,
somehow I just popped in. I still don't know why." And
Karen was like, "I thought I saw you there in the corner behind
Rod. There were a bunch of us inside the room laughing wasn't
there?" And I was like, "Yeah." And Karen was like, "We had
just started recording and all of a sudden I just let out this long,
loud, juicy fart and we all just lost it." Yet
another time, Karen
told
me that her and Rod had come up with a couple songs, but they were not
working out so well being recorded. I said, "Chances are, they
have
another use for them on someone else's project that they have been
stuck on." Lo and behold, the songs are 'Rock with You' and 'Off
the
Wall' that were used on Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album.
Karen had already kind of had the rock with you melody in her head around
March, April 1979 before the solo album
started. Karen used to kind of sing at me,
"I
want to uh with you, uh, uh, uh" here and there in her normal singing
voice and she would have her arms at her sides doing a kind of herky
jerky motion. I guess one day Karen was doing dishes or setting
the
table at Phil's house and she was doing the "I want to uh with you, uh,
uh, uh" and Rod
saw and heard Karen doing this and asked Karen about it and Karen kind
of explained the situation between Karen and me and Karen was an 8th
grade teacher and my age and that I
was the reluctant one because I didn't want to take a chance of Karen
getting into trouble because of my age, 14. I believe that Karen
told me that Rod said
something like, "Have you two ever thought about becoming
Jewish?". I think Karen told me that Rod also said something
like, "Well let's see if we can write a song that can get this boy to
relax and loosen up a bit for you." Then I guess Karen and Rod
started
making a song out of the "I want to uh with you" melody that Karen had
stuck in her head. "Boy, close your eyes, let everything get into
you, don't try to fight it, there ain't nothing
that you can do..." and all that. The off
the wall song came after a phone
call
between Rod, Karen and I which I talk about elsewhere. But the
off the
wall song was based a lot on Rod's experience with Karen and Karen
chasing Rod around a 'pub' with a pool cue after Rod was wanting to
date Debbie Gibson. During the phone call, off the wall was said
several times by us in several different ways and Rod kind of used that
phone call as a basis for a song that Rod wrote while he was flying to
Los Angeles to work with Michael Jackson. Off the
wall as in not planned and such as things can get a little crazy at
times if things aren't planned too well.
Living off the wall. Karen Carpenter in a nutshell as Karen was
working '9 to 5' in a way at the time as a teacher.
Another
note, Karen talked to me about the recording sessions and mentioned
that they had already dropped a couple songs "because Phil Ramone
thought that me singing 'Rock with You', which had sexual content,
and 'Off the Wall' with its mental health undertones would have
been
like trying to sell the Hindenburg to the record company executives
because of my girl next door image." I
kind of answered with, "Chances are because of the
sexual content on 'Rock with You' and the
'crazy' mental health references on 'Off the Wall' that the record
label, A&M, probably would have not let you release those songs
anyway, so it was good they got released somehow." Karen
was like, "Thanks for the extra input. I have been kind of mad
because
Phil keeps dragging his heels making me think that he just doesn't want
me doing those songs for some reason. I love those two
songs. I
really want to do those songs, but it feels like they are trying to
sabotage me. It's breaking my heart. I love those
songs. I want to
do them. But every time in the studio things get sidetracked for
one reason or another." Karen also
said, "I know we used Afternoon Delight that one time, but really Rock
with You is really our song, it was actually written about us. It
isn't out yet, but when it gets released you'll know." I was like
"Good choice, Rock with You it is. We can't really be a couple
until I
get older, but having our own song is a great start. I'll
definitely
look for it and get it when it comes out." Honestly, I got
the Rock with You single after it came out in November 1979 and I
played it until you could see white stuff in the grooves from being
played so much; Karen was long gone by then though. Also, the
"She's
Out of My Life" song being written about Karen Carpenter? The
answer
is no. Bahler (or whoever) would have known Karen only
briefly. Karen
was still teaching in Corning, NY during the week (unless maybe the
week of spring break around March or April 1979). I do not
remember
Karen
talking about that song really. It is possible she may have
suggested a couple words or such. I know 'cavalier' was one of
our 8th grade spelling words that year. I do remember Karen
saying, "I've
got
more work done on Michael Jackson's new album than on my own so
far.
Michael's album is almost done. Mine just barely feels
started."
Karen also said that her
solo project was way behind because with teaching, she had not been
able to devote much time in the studio. Karen would drive on
weekends
to New York City and then drive back before school. Over
5 hours
driving each
way. Karen would
usually drive to the airport and then fake it like she just came off
the plane. Rod and Karen used to joke around and call Phil's
house 'the compound' and Phil and Snitchy were the gestapo. "Make
a break for it." was the big joke. Karen said, "With those two
songs going to Michael Jackson,
I
only have about 4 or 5 other songs being worked on. Things are
just
not going well with the project. Phil Ramone keeps trying to get
me to
move in with him, but I keep putting him off. I am not sure how
much
longer I can keep putting him off." So yes, it was definitely
after
June 3 before Karen left for New York City and became a substitute for
herself because of the 'Michael
Jackson' reference here. Off the Wall was not finished until June
3rd. It was either two or three weeks of a substitute teacher (I
am
pretty sure two but not positive). I was like, "I know this
project is
really important to you. You also know how I feel about you
too. If
you can get it pushed back until after school lets out, I could
actually go with you if you wanted." And Karen was like, "Phil
would
allow just me there, even if you could go, I couldn't really take you
with me for the recordings and such. I would have to leave you
alone
in a hotel room most of the time by yourself. It just wouldn't be
worth it. I really wish you could go though. When the time
comes, I
know I am going to really miss you." I was like, "I am going to
miss
you too terribly. We have always been there for each other over
the
last 8 months, has it really been 8 months, wow, how time has
flown.
It seems like only yesterday you were asking if I minded if you talked
to me. Anyway, I have a feeling after they finish the Michael
Jackson
project that your solo project will be next in line."
Yes, there appeared and still appears to be a lot of
stories from Phil Ramone about what went on with Karen's solo
album. After coming up with "Rock with You"
and "Off the Wall",
Phil definitely wanted to be Karen's producer at any cost (to Karen's
bank account of course). And after Phil had Rod give those songs
to Michael
Jackson, Karen was definitely proud to have an honest brother like
Richard to
work with.
And when stories don't match... True,
somebody is not being honest about things. You are getting
smarter already (after speaking with the reader, we now return you back
to our regularly scheduled program).
XLIV. Rod Temperton
messes up. Second Rod call. Karen and Richard. Lifesavers
And a final side note
here. I vaguely
remember this so I am
pretty sure that this part is probably not very accurate yet,
but I am working on it. But
anyway, I remember in June 1979 that Karen and I walked down Pine
Street in Corning and used a pay phone in Woolworth's department
store. Before we left the school, Karen
took
off her 'clod hoppers' (shoes) and changed into sandals and just pulled
her dress off and had shorts and a shirt underneath. No nudity,
but
still a great show. I think Karen's
step cousin, Wendy,
worked at Woolworth's. Karen had a roll of
quarters
and was really upset at Rod
Temperton. We went into Woolworth's and kind of worked our way
back to the pay phone and then Karen put some quarters in and dialed
out to Phil's house and got Rod on the phone. Karen was like, "I
know you like Rod, but you need to hear this." when we were walking
down to the store. When he answered
the phone Rod
was like, "Hello Karen".
Karen was like, "How could you?" And Rod was
like, "It just slipped out. I know it was stupid of me.
They were talking about the album and it just slipped out about Darling
being one of your students. That elbow to the ribs you gave me
still hurts. I didn't mean anything by it, it just slipped
out." And Karen was like, "We both said nothing happened between
me and Ace, but they told Richard." And Rod spoke up and said, "I
really messed up, didn't I?" And Karen was like, "I'll say, they
already told Richard and Richard told me that I have a couple days to
clean out my desk and come back home where they can keep an eye on
me. They also put my solo project on indefinite hold and are
talking about cancelling it." And Karen was like, "Well, Ace, how
do you feel about your
buddy Rod now?" And I was like, "Sorry to hear Rod, I know it was
an accident and you didn't mean any harm. I also know that Karen
is really mad at you now and I am glad it is you and not me, but things
happen Rod and I can't speak for Karen, but as far as from me, I can't
be mad at you because I know you meant no harm." And Rod said,
"Thanks Ace. Just in case, Phil got the school phone number off
the phone bill and he called it up. I don't know if he has linked
it to Karen yet." And Karen said, "You men are all alike and
stick up for each other. Didn't you hear me Ace, I will be
leaving and I have to go back home. I won't be seeing you ever
again. Richard will be coming to get me in two days. I just
got you back and now I got to let you go again. I just can't take
it anymore." And Karen started breaking down in the store and
crying and one of the lady stockers at Woolworth's handed her some
tissues. And I was like, "Sorry Rod, but I really have to
go." And Rod was like, "I understand. Look after her and
I'll see what I can do." And we both hung up. Karen and I
were standing there and then I just started having tears run down my
face too. Karen and I just started heading towards the door to
outside. On the way, someone asked, "Are you two alright?"
And Karen and I just said, "Onions." and we went out the
door. On the way to the door I picked up what Karen was thinking
and I
started speeding up to get in front of her. I opened up the store
door
and Karen went out and I was right behind her but I sped up to get
between her and the highway out in front of the store. And just
as
Karen
got out the door, she looked out to the highway and said, "Where's a
Mack truck when you need one? I am tired of losing you Ace, let's
go
play in traffic so we can be together forever. I am tired of all
this." And I am keeping myself between Karen and the
highway. Then
Karen just starts to run and goes to grab my hand and I pull my hand
away and then she stops just on the curb. I didn't actually touch
her, but I was thinking of grabbing on to her shoulders before she went
into the road, and somehow it happened. Before
Karen reached the curb I shouted out, "Oh God, please help me."
But Karen had stopped herself
before going into the road but her momentum almost put her head and
shoulders out into the road. Karen was not really planning on
going
out into traffic but when I had pulled my hand away, Karen hadn't
realized how close she was to the road. Afterwards,
Karen
was like, "I knew
you loved me and I knew you wouldn't let me do it. Thanks for
holding me back." And I was like, "Look where we are
standing. Honestly, I didn't touch you right now. There was
nothing there but somehow what I was thinking happened. I thought
of grabbing you by the shoulders, and somehow it happened." And
then I started breaking down and I was like, "Oh my God. Oh my
God. I almost lost you just now." And Karen was like,
"I felt you grab me. Oh my God, you're right. You couldn't
reach me from there. Why did
you pull your hand away? Why? Why? Don't you want to
be with me?"
And then I held my hands out to Karen and cried, "Don't you
remember?
You die before me. And then I have to wait to see you
again. I can't
die yet." And then I said, "No! No! I love you please
don't do this.
Don't you remember what Rod said? I can't touch you and you
can't
touch me or else we suffer throughout eternity wishing we could be back
in the flesh again. Could you come over here away from the road
and by
the
building so we can talk?" And she walked away from the road and
came
over beside me, and we leaned up against the side of the building, side
by side. Then Karen's step cousin Wendy came out of the store and
said, "Are you all right? I saw what happened." And we were
both bawling our eyes out
and I said, "Karen thought she dropped something in the road. I
almost lost her. I think we're all right now, but we're both
shaken up from all this. Thanks." And Karen pulled out her
teacher's pen and said, "I thought I dropped this. It's
the only thing I have that Ace and I have touched and I just wasn't
thinking. I'm
sorry Ace I put you through this." And I
was like, "So long as you're OK now and stay away from the road.
I'll be fine." Wendy went back inside
and then I said, "Look at us two
bawling like a couple of babies. I want to hug you so bad right
now, but we can't. Remember what Rod said
about you having a
short
life line and you going first and that I will be around a long time
after you go? I nearly lost you right now and I feel really
terrible,
but
remember, it isn't my time yet. If I play in traffic with you,
I'll
still be around, but you won't. And you know me, if a Mack truck
hit
me it would probably destroy the truck. I know it hurts. It
hurts me
too. These aren't fake tears we're crying." And she was
like, "What
are we going to do? My brother is coming to take me home in two
days
and I won't see you ever again." And I was like, "We still have
the
two days to be together. And who knows, things change. But
would you
rather spend these two days thinking the end is near and crying all of
the time or enjoying what time we still have together?" And she
was
like, "I know, but it just isn't fair. It is like someone is
playing
some cruel joke on us all the time. We finally meet the perfect
person
and we can't be together. It just isn't fair." And I was
like,
"Regardless if it's fair or not, I still love you and I know I always
will." And she was like, "I know what you're always thinking and
you
know what I'm always thinking, so I guess we need to pray for another
miracle. This is getting ridiculous." And I was like,
"Well, we got a
steep hill to climb as always, only this one is literal and figurative
at the same time." And she was like, "How did you get to be so
smart
all of a sudden?" And I was like, "Definitely got to be a great
teacher. And she just seems to be getting greater all the
time, er, um, sorry, more great." And she was like, "That's
better." And then I was like, "Actually, you're the mostest
bestest greatest person ever." And she was like, "I agree.
Some rules are made to be broken." And I was like, "As always,
you're always right. You are my english teacher after
all. We
probably ought to get going now. I think our backs have been up
against the wall long enough. Hopefully things will change again
for
the better soon. They did before." We
then walked up the hill and went home.
The
next day after school Karen said to me, "Richard is coming
tomorrow and I need you to just listen to what he says at first.
Don't interrupt him and let him speak. I think we are going to be
alright." I was like, "OK, I'm willing to try anything at this
point. I hope it works."
And then Richard shows up after
school on the next day and I am sitting in my chair and Karen is behind
her desk in her chair. There is a work crew that is also patching
the
wall in Karen's classroom. Richard first stopped in across the
hall
and yelled at Max and then Richard came over to Karen's room. I
think
then Richard came just inside the room and I think he said something
like, "A little remodelling I see." and Richard looks at Karen, then at
me, then he looks at the wall and then looks across the hall, shakes
his head in disbelief, and then I think Richard looked at Karen again
and said, "him?" while looking at me and I think he then said "and
him?" while looking across the hall and Karen shook her head yes.
And I think Richard kind of smirked and said something like, "That's
definitely a big hole there" or something like that
and I think we all kind of smiled at each other.
And
Richard is in the room and comes over
to me from the door and leans towards me on my right side and starts
talking with his left hand on the back of my
chair and his
right hand on the desktop of my chair.
Richard said, "Please hear me out on this. I
had a talk with Wendy and she told me all about what
happened at the store. Everything including how you, Ace, got
Karen
away from the road and calmed down. Also, just so you know, the
police
have my number in case anything more happens they can give me a
call.
We don't want anything more happening do we?"
And Karen and I
both
shake our heads no. And then Richard looks over to Karen and
says, "If I get one more call about you, you will be out of here so
fast your head will spin. Got it?" And Karen shakes her
head yes and kind of smiles realizing what Richard just said. And
then Richard continues, "The
last thing my
sister needs is to have more problems than she already has. My
sister has had enough problems as it is and she doesn't need any
more. Her being accused of being with a younger student would
definitely be a big problem. From what I have heard from others,
and Karen included, you are definitely not the problem. Other
people talking was a problem. I remember
when I came here before and I noticed you two look away from each
other, I had a feeling. A good feeling because I had noticed that
she was feeling happier again. I like seeing my sister
happy. From
what I have heard from others around here, you and my sister tend to
solve problems and not create them." And then Richard reaches
around and shakes my right hand and says, "I want to thank you for
helping my sister feel better and be happier and saving her life.
She
has been through a lot over the years. I
also know that my
taking her away from here is not going to make her happy or feel
better. But I also need to make it perfectly clear that if you
cause any problems for my sister, whatsoever, you will wish you
hadn't. You would never hear the end of it. Is that
clear?" And I said, "Perfectly clear." And then Richard
looked over at Karen and Richard said, "I wasn't too hard on him just
now, was I?" And Karen said in a low voice, "You're fine."
And then Karen motioned Richard to look back at me and he did.
And then I looked
over at Karen and she shook her head yes and then I said, "You're
fine. I have a
younger sister myself and I know exactly what you mean. I
wouldn't want someone causing problems for my younger sister
either. And yes, I learned not to use the L word around your
sister. The last time I used that word about my younger sister; she
hit me between the eyes with a book and said she would hurt more than
my feelings if
I ever said it again, and she meant it too." And
Richard kind of
laughed and said, "You definitely know my sister alright and she must
like you. If
I remember right, Karen, you threw a chair at me that one time."
And Karen was like, "Was that the time I broke the TV and I got
grounded for a month?" And Richard said, "If I remember right,
you
also aimed for my head." And Karen said, "You ducked or else I
would
have hit your head instead of the TV so technically the broken TV was
all your
fault." And Richard said, "How was that my
fault that you tried to
take my head off?" And Karen said, "I still think it would be an
improvement. Ah, the good old days."
And
I was like, "Yeah, me and my sister fight a lot too. The other
day she
shut and locked me out of my room, so I grabbed a ball point pen and
started trying to poke a hole in the door to get back in. Did I
get it
for that." And Karen is like, "I met his dad. His dad is
big like Uncle Herbie. Over
250 pounds. Ace is kind of the runt of the litter. His
sister is really nice though. I noticed you had a difficult time
sitting not too long ago, did you learn anything?" And I said,
"I learned that bic
pens are cheap and break easily on solid oak doors. Next time I
should
use a hatchet or an axe." And Karen laughed and Richard looked at
me
and then Karen and said, "Just checking to make sure. You sound
like
someone else I know." And then Richard leaned
his head back to keep from laughing and said, "I'm having a hard time
figuring out who is corrupting who here." And I was like, "Don't
worry Richard, people that know me know that I was corrupted a long
time before I met your sister." or
something like that. And
then I
said, "Karen and I always enjoy making each other feel
better. We like making each other smile and feel happy. We
have done it so long now that all we really have to do is look at each
other and we feel better." And then Karen and I just looked at
each other and we both started smiling. And then Richard said, "That
Mr. Hyde fellow talked my ear
off. He told me everything. How much are you willing to
offer me to keep my mouth
shut about all this Karen? This is going to cost you." And then
Karen
said
with a devilish look on her face, "That's my Richard, always the
businessman. Let's make a deal. Let's start putting our
cards out on the table..." I remember
Richard saying, "Welcome to the family" and then
the family dirty
laundry
gets aired in front of me and this page gets [censored] for a change
because I feel it is Karen, Richard, and my business and needs to
remain that way. During part of this I
think I remember Richard saying
something like, "Mom always makes this big fuss over me all the time
and it's awkward because I don't want people to think that I'm a mama's
boy because I'm not. Being a favorite has its drawbacks too you
know
but I put up with it." And I think Karen said something like,
"It's
true. It can be embarassing sometimes being the favorite which is
why
I prefer being the black sheep of the family. I'd rather get
yelled at
than fussed over. Richard was always the
clean one and I was always the one getting yelled at for dragging mud
through the house. Mom likes him
best. He's mom's favorite." And
yes, I have some dirty
laundry too. And like Karen, I'd rather be yelled at than fussed
over too. The turning point was when Karen said, "Richard,
hold that thought
for a second, I have to talk to Ace." And then Karen talked about
what
I was thinking at the time, and then Karen was like, "Ace, you are
distracting me. You need to go to the next one. You can
revisit that
one later." And then I was like, "OK, the one with the older
couple
and..." And Karen was like, "Yes, that one." And Karen and
I looked
at each other. And then I said, "That's a bit risky. They
will probably hate you too for just saying that stuff." And Karen
said, "I know, I'm already the black sheep anyway but it would
definitely lose Richard's favorite status." And I was like, "It
probably would work in a devilish kind of way, but would you really be
willing to go through with it? It could backfire you know."
And Karen and I gave each other devilish looks so I knew she would be
willing to go through with it if necessary. And Richard looked
over and said, "I know that
look.
Oh my God. There's two Karens." And Karen and I just looked
at
Richard and said in unison, "Other direction Richard" in our 'evil'
sounding voices. Richard
was
fairly cooperative after that and saying, "But I thought we agreed that
we would never talk about that one to mom and dad."
And Karen said, "I'm desperate." After
Richard and Karen reached an
agreement not to rat on each other, Karen said,
"Does this mean I can stay Richard?" And Richard said, "Of
course, don't worry. I will just tell them the truth that the
school is short teachers and that they really need you as a
teacher.
I'll also
tell them that the boy reminds you of me when I was younger so there's
nothing for them to worry about. OK, I noticed you two are almost
exactly alike, that would scare them, it scared me a little bit ago, so
I'll stretch the truth a
little bit on that one, but they always believe me because I'm their
favorite as you know. You two also have a rule that you don't
touch
each other and try to stay at least a foot away from each other so that
people don't accuse you of anything. I'll leave out that soul
mate
stuff. They just wouldn't understand. I don't understand it
myself.
And also, if only half of
the stories I heard about you two are true then I know I am leaving you
in capable hands Karen and there shouldn't be any more problems.
Can
you think of anything
else?" And Karen and I both said, "Yes. Thank you
Richard. This
means a lot
to us." And then Richard said, "Actually,
I
need to thank you. Phil Ramone usually has something up his
sleeve and
Rod Temperton is one of his cronies. How did you get Rod to spill
his
guts to Alpert and Moss like that. No one has ever turned against
Phil
before. I imagine Rod will pay for that one." And Karen
said, "Rod
just let it slip out about Darling being one of my students. I
don't
know why. He just did." And Richard was like, "Alpert and
Moss were
actually impressed and they liked the idea of the romantic and physical
love theme to your album, but they are a bit reserved because of the
underaged student issue and Phil Ramone's track record of getting extra
free publicity through the tabloids. And you know I don't want my
sister's name dragged through the mud just to try and make an extra
couple bucks." And then I believe Richard said something like,
"Ace has a gag order placed on him and so his name or picture can't be
used in the tabloids anyway. I don't know why or how because not
even the Pope can get one of these. I have
been trying to get you on that list for almost three
years now, but it seems like you need to be a mass murderer like
Charles Manson to get on that list. How do you rate?
Care to explain Ace?"
And I believe Karen
said something like, "I
have the guy's card here in my diary. We can talk later Richard,
but
Ace isn't allowed to know why, but the guy told me and had me promise
not to tell Ace. It's nothing bad really. Ace did nothing
wrong." Karen and I had had a few pictures of us together taken
in a photo booth. Karen used to use them as bookmarks.
Those pictures had disappeared until they were found attached to the
rejected article by Itchie. And I believe
but I
am not
totally sure that Karen also said to Richard, "This is big. I
guess I can give you a hint without telling him. Remember
that thesis that you wrote and did all that research and got an F
because the teacher said, if he's not written in the Bible then he
doesn't exist? Well, Ace is apparently the one that you wrote
about
that doesn't exist." And I believe Richard said, "Him? Are
you
sure?" And I believe Karen said quietly, "Yes. Him."
And then Karen
said, "I'm
sorry about the other day Ace. I thought that story was being released
and I really thought my life was over. I'm sorry for dragging you
through all of that. As you can tell, Richard is the brains, I'm
not."
And I was like, "I was really glad I was there with you. I am
also
really happy that things turned out the way they did. I would
gladly
do
it all over again so long as you are all right. And you
definitely
have
brains too. Remember when I shined that light in your ears and it
didn't make it to the other side?" And Karen gave me that 'not
funny
Ace' look. Richard was definitely very
upset that the article had
even been written at all. Sir Nicholas also gave Karen his
business
card, which Karen put in her diary, just in case Phil tried to give
Karen any problems (extortion and blackmail were both mentioned as
possible problems also) about the article not being published.
Richard
also told me, off to the side, that he had never actually wished to
take Karen 'back home' and that really Richard and Karen made that
story up to keep people from knowing that Richard was there at the
school to pick up the letters and Richard would take it from
there.
Richard said, "You're a real lifesaver." And I asked Karen,
"Which are
your favorite, Pepp-o-mint or wint-o-green lifesavers?" And Karen
said, "Wint-o-green because I love winter and Christmas time."
And
then Richard continued, "You actually saved Karen's life twice
now.
Once at the
store and another by keeping this story out of the papers with that gag
order of yours. The article can't be published thanks to you Ace,
so
we
can't get him for libel, but I'll figure something out. I'm not
going
to let someone drag my sister's name through the mud." And I was
like,
"If there's anything I can do to help. Let me know. I
definitely
don't
want her name dragged through the mud either." And
Richard continued, "I know it means a lot to you
two to stay together longer and
I am pretty sure that I am
not going to regret this like some other things in my past that I have
done. We
all
make mistakes, and I feel my biggest mistake right now would be making
you come home with me Karen. A definite mistake on my part
because I
know that look you gave me a little while ago and I know I probably
wouldn't make it to the plane and they probably would never find my
body. Do you promise not to tell on
me?" And
Karen said, "So long as I stay here until the school year ends, I
promise not to tell." And then
Richard said, "I know what you're thinking about Phil and Itchie, but
this is business. In business it is always best to keep your
friends close but your enemies closer so that you know what they are up
to. Promise me that you won't let Phil and Itchie know that you
got this article." And Karen shook her head yes and said, "I
promise." And then Richard continued, "Also promise me that if you
bring him home to meet the
folks that you give me notice because I wouldn't miss the looks on
their faces for the world. This even outdoes when you dragged the
neighbor's dog home and said he was a stray and asked if we could keep
him." And Karen looked at me and said, "It was kind of funny
because I
was dragging the dog behind me, a german shepard (great dane?), and the
dog was
trying to run away and dragging me down the street." And I was
like, "You too? I did the
same thing
when I was younger. The dog was a bassett hound and still had his
chain and tags and I was literally dragging him down the street as the
dog wasn't
walking by himself." And Karen said, "If you want, we can get a
dog, but
we'll
talk about it later." And Richard said, "You two are funny.
And I guess you can cross out cult figure on your
to do list Karen. I do
miss
you, but I can tell that you belong here. You look so happy
again after I said you could stay just now. You're my
sister. I
couldn't take that happiness away from you and
besides with that gag order, you're safer here than you would be back
home in Downey." And
Richard and I shook hands again and Richard was like, "I know you'll
take good care of my sister." And I was like, "I will and thanks
again." And Richard was like, "Actually,
Ace, Karen never threw a
chair at me. We just made that up." And I was like, "I
wouldn't
really use a hatchet or an axe on my door or my sister either. A
chainsaw maybe.
And, like Karen, I am kind of the black sheep of the family too."
Then
Richard kind of gave me a 'you almost blew it just now' look and then
went
around to the other side of the desk and hugged Karen with a big
hug. Richard
said, "We have to look out for each other." to Karen and Karen said, "I
know and thank you again. This really does mean a lot to
me." And
then Richard
left by himself. And
then Richard came
back around by the door again and said, "I forgot. I need a
ride. Karen?" And Karen said, "It will cost you.
[big smile] Actually, I have a
couple bucks extra left over if you need it. We can talk in the
car." I
got up and left the room and Richard and Karen left together as
well. Also note, Richard didn't always say
"Karen" all of the
time and sometimes said "sis" and once or twice he said, "sissy".
I
just am not sure which times.
The next day of course, Karen and I talked. Karen told
me,
"That's my
brother Richard. He knows me best even better than you. You
and I
have our secrets, so Richard knows I care a lot about you because I
always tell Richard everything. I kind of set this whole thing
up, if
you noticed, so that you and Richard could meet. It went really
well.
My brother Richard doesn't usually make jokes so when we came up with
that TV and the chair story, I knew that at least my brother was
comfortable around you. That means a lot to me. You are
very special,
but still, I don't know what I would do sometimes if it wasn't for my
brother Richard helping me out all the time. No one could ever
replace
my brother and I noticed that you didn't feel threatened by
that." And
I was like, "I know you and Richard are close and that's a good thing
really. No one can be there all of the time and it's nice having
a
backup just in case. I guess I'm kind of your backup now which is
great. I'm not looking to be your everything. I'm looking
more to be
that something extra that tries to make you feel better when things
aren't going so well and if things are going well I can still keep
trying to make you feel even better somehow.
The short version, I guess I'm not looking to be your everything, but I
guess I'm looking to be your everything else.
I hope that makes
sense." And Karen was like, "Perfect sense. You just
explained why I
get jealous and you don't. I'm looking to be your everything and
you're not." And I was like, "Holy cow, I think I just figured it
out
too. I love you for who you are and I don't ever want to change
who
you are. You keep hoping that I don't change. So I think we
both love
each other for who we are just in our own different ways I
guess." And
Karen was like, "Well, the others will start coming in shortly and I
just want you to know that you passed my little test." And of
course
me, "Passing tests is better than passing gas I guess. What I
mean to
say is..." And Karen says, "...I know" And then we both
said, "I love
you too" at the same time of course.
This paragraph added on February 11, 2021.
And so when I see
all of this 'starving for attention' nonsense written about Karen I
know better. These incidents with Karen is how I know
better. Karen
didn't pretend to commit suicide at home. Karen didn't feel
controlled
or any of that nonsense by her family. I know for a fact that Max
was
controlling Karen and Karen was not used to being controlled.
Karen's
reaction was to get a hold of her brother and pull a few stunts to get
her out of her teaching job and away from Max and Max's controlling
behavior. You don't commit suicide by taking aspirin. You
don't
commit suicide by stopping on the curb before running into
traffic.
Karen got my attention. I warned Max with "if you come within an
arms
reach of Karen or me again; I'll kill you" and Max knew I meant
it.
Karen was being controlled by Max. Karen was NOT being controlled
by
her family. Point blank. Karen wanted to get away from Max
and go to
her family as Karen didn't want to be controlled (and I can't blame her
either). I intervened and Karen stayed as she knew Max wasn't
going to
bother her anymore after what happened between Karen, me, Max, John
Heib, Max's dad, Buddy Ebsen and others. When Richard says that
Karen
wasn't suicidal, that is truth. Richard didn't even know about
this
stuff, but Richard knew something was really bad there if Karen was
calling him and his mom and wanting to go home and get away from
Corning and her teaching job. Karen didn't take the teaching job
to
get away from her family (she stayed with her step cousin). Karen
was
looking to try something different and that 'mid life crisis' type
thing. Karen's family was actually Karen's crutch so to speak as
with
any problems, Karen's family would be supportive and be there for Karen
and ask questions later. If Karen felt stifled or controlled by
her
family, she wouldn't go back to that just like she wouldn't go back to
Max and that mess. Karen would have just snuck off and
disappeared.
Karen wasn't suicidal at home (as I believe Richard has said that Karen
wasn't suicidal) and she really wasn't actually suicidal with the Max
stuff either. But Karen wanted attention and she got it.
Me, John
Heib, Max's dad, Buddy Ebsen, mom and dad, Richard and so on. Max
got
attention too but not the attention he was wanting. So honestly,
Karen
felt unloved to a point during the Max stuff. Before and after
the Max
stuff, Karen didn't feel unloved or 'controlled' as all those that use
someone need to control that someone in order to use them (which was
what Max had been doing and the 'user' talk I had with Karen before
this was me trying to get Karen to open up about the Max situation but
she didn't open up at that time). Karen hadn't been in a
situation
like that, so Karen didn't know what to do or who to trust.
Afterwards, Karen knew that all she had to do was ask. But then
again,
later, Karen kind of did the same thing in 1982 with the Levenkron
Clinic mess. Karen told me that she felt unloved there too.
Karen
also felt unloved by Thomas Burris too. So yes, a distinct
pattern of
if Karen felt unloved, she would look to get rid of the one(s) she felt
unloved around. Karen never felt unloved by her immediate family
(mom,
dad, Richard). Unlike others, Karen's family never left Karen but
they
did care enough that if Karen wanted her space, Karen had her
space.
If Karen wanted to do something, they let Karen do it. That's not
control. Telling someone that if they talk to someone that you
are
going to have them fired and/or arrested is control and manipulation
which was what Max had been doing. The Thomas Burris manipulation
and
the twisting too as honestly, Karen had made a promise to marry Thomas
Burris. Yes, I agree that Karen should have backed out and she
could
have, but she didn't. The truth is that Karen had made a promise
and
she kept that promise. Karen's mom didn't mention that to Karen
during
the People magazine speech which was why Karen didn't feel her mom's
speech was that good, but Karen was always one for keeping her
promises. Karen had four, not three, signs of change and that was
the
other deciding factor of why Karen got married to Tom and didn't break
her promise. Tom had broke about every promise ever made to Karen
not
before but after they got married and Karen was returning that favor
too but that is talked about later on. Later on (1983 phone call
about
Levenkron and other ketchup, I mean catch up stuff too) threatening to
have someone committed to Bellevue if Karen talked about stuff or
didn't do what someone asked because Karen signed a paper is
manipulation and control too. Karen's family didn't control Karen
but
Karen's family was always supportive of Karen and Karen honestly never
felt unloved by her family. Karen did feel unloved by Max Baer
Jr.,
many therapists, Steven Levenkron, Thomas Burris, Phil and Itchie
Ramone and a few others too. As far as Phil
and Itchie Ramone, I discuss that later
too, but actually Karen was around Phil and Itchie mostly because she
didn't want to take a chance of Phil sneaking off and releasing her
solo album behind Karen's back (Phil still had the copy of Karen's solo
album, hint). Because I hadn't kept in
contact, Karen
kind of felt unloved by me too at one time (between June 1979 and
June 1981). And with that, no, Karen never felt unloved by her
family,
ever. Karen had started feeling her family was being
overprotective of
her but not controlling. And the truth was that Karen was a pure
tomboy and couldn't be controlled, but she would allow someone to be
protective. Karen’s family knew that. I knew that. Others
didn’t and don't know Karen and it shows.
And on February 11, 2021 I am adding this
too. I saw a place
on the internet that listed seven signs that someone felt unloved as a
child. I added an eighth sign.
1) Lack of trust - Karen trusted others unless they proved
otherwise. Nope.
2) Poor emotional intelligence - Nope. Karen had good control of
her
emotions for the most part. We all have our moments though.
3) Fear of failure - Nope. Karen would get nervousness about
having a bad performance but not fear.
4) Toxic relationships - To some degree, yes.
Most of Karen's relationships weren't toxic. Karen
was not used to 'fake' people and she got blindsided a couple
times.
5) Insecurity and Attachment - Nope. Love 'em and leave
'em see
#4.
6) Depression and anxiety - Nope. Karen was normally happy and
clowning around.
7) Oversensitivity - Kind of. Karen cared a lot. Karen
would become
oversensitive to those she felt didn't care. So more reverse
oversensitivity in Karen's case I feel.
8) Rocking motion - This one I added and Karen and I would look to see
if others did this. This for Karen and me was a big one as those
that
would just sit and rock in a chair that didn't rock back and forth were
feeling unloved. Karen didn't do this.
In all honesty, Richard was very caring towards
his sister
when out of the public eye. The truth was that Richard wanted
people to see him as a ruthless person that would trample over his own
family to get what he wanted. Richard felt this image was what he
needed as Richard did not want to be thought of as a nice guy that
could be taken advantage of or such in business dealings.
Truthfully, Richard and Karen both worked together to try and project
Richard as being ruthless, but behind the scenes, Richard and Karen
always worked together and always helped each other as best as they
could. Most of the time, Richard and Karen were all that they had.
XLV. Karen's solo
album part 2
With the elbow to the gut
by Karen to Rod in May 1979 because Rod talked about Karen around a 14
year old (me), a boss at A & M overheard this from Rod and was
almost ready to 'pull the plug' with that being a possible publicity
nightmare if that information got out. Richard was told about
what Rod said and so Richard came out to New York State to check on
things. The plug didn't get pulled. Also, people have
asked, "Would A & M have rejected 'Rock with You' and 'Off the
Wall'?' and the answer is most likely no rejection as the songs were
playful and not really anti family or such but Phil needed an excuse as
to why he was giving those songs away. P*ss poor excuse that
falls apart easily, but still, an excuse. "He's Out of My Life"
was rejected because Phil thought of it being too much like a typical
Carpenters song. And actually, if one of those songs had been
done then chances are the record company and Richard would have been
behind releasing it in 1980. But Karen had told Richard that most
of the good stuff had been siphoned off for Michael's album and that
Karen was hoping the album didn't get released, but it was a huge waste
of money too which would definitely be a HUGE reason as to why A &
M and Richard wouldn't want Karen trying to do another solo album which
was what Karen was hoping for that she wouldn't get asked to do another
solo album again. Karen was happy with Richard and the Carpenters
and all they had accomplished together. I mean cripe, at the
autograph tables people would swarm Karen and Richard would be
twiddling his thumbs sometimes and Karen would feel bad for Richard as
Richard had done the most work while Karen would just come in for about
5 minutes in the studio and sing and get all these praises and such
from the fans. Karen and her mom were always grateful for the
effort that Richard put in and if it hadn't been for Richard asking,
Karen wouldn't have known she could sing to begin with. And I
know she could sing, but Karen was still hoping to get her big break to
pitch in the major leagues for I believe it was $12,500 a year at the
time in the early to mid 1970s. And yes if a team had signed her,
she would have quit music and played baseball. Probably the
biggest reason Karen didn't get signed was that she only had about a 77
mph fastball (Randy Jones was the slowest pitcher at the time with a 75
mph fastball), shhh, but they would tell Karen that they didn't have
the facilities for an extra "girl's shower". At least one team
had seriously thought about it as Karen was a celebrity and it would be
a crowd draw, but they still stuck by the "no separate girl's shower"
argument. Karen understood as she wanted to be a part of the team
and didn't feel she needed special treatment because she was a girl,
but a lot of the ball players have wives and that wouldn't look too
good, so Karen understood but she still tried to get in there and be a
professional baseball player.
In early June 1979 was the 100K meeting with Karen, Rod, Phil, Itchie
and Itchie's toy poodle. A lot of swearing by Phil and Itchie and
Rod left the room not too long after the meeting started. Karen
and I had talked before that meeting and I had told Karen that it was
her decision but I would do what I could to help. Phil was
boiling mad and Karen had told me that Phil always starts out with his
lowest bid and if you disagree, Phil goes higher and doesn't come
down. Also, I let Karen decide as Karen knew my decision was to
just let Phil go but it wasn't my project or my money, but I just never
liked Phil as a person let alone as a producer after hearing all that
had gone on with the solo album. Anyway, we finally start out and
I ask Phil, "How much?" and Phil mumbles a bit and then says, "a
hundred thousand" and then I look at Karen and I just hold my hands out
to Karen to say "Well?" but I didn't say it. And then Karen says,
"It's a deal." and Phil's mouth dropped as Karen and I knew that this
extra was to pay Rod Temperton and several other incidentals and the
hundred grand was the 'rock bottom' and Phil was only going to go
higher, not lower if we argued (that was why the 400 grand originally
as Phil started out lower, but they argued and the price went
up). The other part too was that this was to cover whatever else
needed to be done (which was extra studio time between June 1979, plus
production costs and musicians and so on, this was it). Karen
contacted Richard and Richard set it up so that the money came from
future Carpenter royalties with A & M (still not positive, but
nearly 100% sure it was Karen and Richard's future royalties, not just
Karen's). And Karen explained to me later that if we had cut Phil
loose that Rod wouldn't have been paid back for a while by Phil for the
money Phil borrowed from Rod during the Ultimate Injunction
crisis. But yeah, it was during all this mess that was the making
of Karen's solo album that Karen started calling her solo album, "A Can
of Worms" to me around early June 1979. It was just a big mess.
The
original concept for Karen's solo album was
romantic versus physical love. The romantic Darling and the
physical Baby so to speak (Baby wasn't around when Rod and I talked
about this concept in mid May 1979). The choice between romance
and 'just
getting it on'. And the closing song was to be 'Rock with You'
with the combination of romance and physical love. Of course,
that all fell apart in a hurry after Tom Burris came along around April
or May 1980 and certain
songs got siphoned off by Phil Ramone to try and get Michael Jackson as
a client. Karen's album started out great with Rod Temperton and
myself providing a ton of ideas in 1979, but ended up just as great as
Karen's marriage to Tom Burris in 1980 and also
as
great as Phil Ramone's attempt to produce Michael Jackson.
As far as the songs for Karen's solo album themselves? Well,
'Rock with You' was written when Karen talked to Rod about me, and
Karen and I wishing to 'rock together'. 'Off the Wall' was
written based on the "Off the Wall" conversation that happened between
Karen, Rod and I on the day that I bounced the teacher, Max, off the
wall literally which was the same day that Rod left for Los Angeles as
well for two weeks. 'She's Out of My Life' was written by Tom
Bahler
with probably a couple touch ups to the lyrics by Karen. These
three were given to Michael Jackson and then shelved for Karen.
'Something's Missing' was written before Karen's solo album and not
about Karen or me. Karen's story behind her singing the song had
everyone
in the studio (including Jay Asher and Paul Jabara) saying "aw" way
back when including a tear from Jay
Asher apparently. Something's Missing
was
originally recorded after Karen told the people in the studio about a
conversation Karen and I had during our "heart to heart" talk.
And the story from Karen in the studio went, "I have a student in my
class that is a real sweetheart and said when he misses me, he hugs his
pillow, and I asked him if it helps and he said, no, it only helps
remind him that something's missing and he can't have it until he gets
older." And the whole studio said,
"Aw." 'Lovelines'
was about both romance
and physical and was probably done
in late 1979 or early 1980 based on the physical
and emotional love
theme talk during our off the wall call.
'If We Try' was also probably late 1979 or early 1980 and was a Darling
romance song. 'It's Really You' was probably 1979 as well and
another Darling Romance. 'Midnight' was a reference to Karen
using a night light at night. Karen told me
that her and Rod just opened Karen's diary up
to a page and that page ended up being our September 1978 night light
talk so Rod wrote a song based on that story.
'Truly You' was most likely one of
the first
songs done for the album before the physical versus romance idea came
about even. I also remember Karen saying, "I did a hard rock type
song too called Keep My Lovelight Burning, which you might like, but
probably not because the chorus is wimpy.
You probably would have enjoyed being there because it was
done by Evie Sands and Ben Weitsman who were involved in the
Beatlemania show." Another
one that ended up being a joke 'at the office' was Karen invented a new
word on her new song "Still in Love with You", buddaho. Karen
even said, "I have no idea what buddaho means. It just kind of
slipped out like that." The joke around the office was that Karen
set a precedent on her solo album of inventing a new word that has no
meaning. I was there when Rod had a friend
of his (Russell Javors?)
call Karen up
and pretend to be a person from Merriam Webster (the dictionary
company) and asked Karen about the meaning of the word 'buddaho' for
the new edition of the dictionary. The call was made to the
school and
Rod was the one who knew the school phone number. If Karen had
done
another solo
album the word "mannahay"
probably would have come out somehow. But not to be. So
anyway, for the definition of buddaho see mannahay and for the
definition of mannahay see buddaho. That was my contribution to
this
phone call as when Karen got the phone call she said to me, "Quick,
what does buddaho mean?" And I said back, "Mannahay and for the
definition of mannahay see buddaho" and we laughed as Karen repeated it
back over the phone to I believe Russell Javors with I think Rod
Temperton in the background (Karen and I on one end and Russell and Rod
on the other). And in the song “Guess I
Just Lost My Head” Karen meant to say ‘riles’
but said ‘rives’ instead. It still works I guess. Karen
mentioned that she had a song with the line "Beatle tune" in it
that reminded her of me as I sang Beatle tunes to her quite a bit
during homeroom (Making Love In The Afternoon). Karen also
mentioned
meeting Paul Simon as well (Still Crazy After All These Years & I
Do It For Your Love). There was a recording engineer named Glenn
Berger that apparently snapped according to Karen when Paul was just
giving pointers on ideas for a horn section and such that Paul dropped
when Paul originally recorded the songs. I guess Glenn went
ballistic as Karen called it and secretly they started referring to
Glenn as “Spaz” after this. Karen thought it was kind of cute
that Glenn stuck up for her like that but also Karen was a bit worried
as she didn’t think that Paul deserved getting yelled at like that for
just sharing ideas. Karen kind of wondered if maybe Glenn got
Phil and Paul mixed up as usually Phil was cussing most of the
time. Also, Karen picked "Make Believe It's
Your First Time" as
most people saw it as a song about virginity, but Karen also saw that
song as a song about reincarnation as well. Karen loved double
meanings in songs. The
'making love' type songs were inspired by events after
the 'Cubby O'Brien' visit story. The 'dancing' songs were
inspired by
the 'Karen turns ostrich' story above. I believe "Make Believe
It's
Your First Time" was inspired by Karen and my 'past lives' story as
Karen felt the song worked on two levels of virginity but also as far
as reincarnation, dual meaning.
"Make Beieve It's Your First Time was probably
Karen's favorite song that was released from her solo album because
Karen loved doing songs that had hidden or double meanings. "Rock
with
You" was Karen's favorite (and mine too) hands down, but that was never
done passed a partial recording and not even really a demo. But
listen to the songs for
the 'romance' and / or the
'physical' love aspect in the lyrics. 'Making
Love in the
Afternoon' -
Physical, see how that works? Also, I
believe Karen started recording her solo album before we had 'pet
names' for each other. Some of the Baby songs may have been about
me as well. I remember sometime when Karen said to me something
like, "I called you Baby in a few songs because I didn't really have a
pet name for you yet". I have
a
feeling that the original recordings probably burned up somewhere after
that fire in California or wherever that wiped out most of the
recordings for
several major labels. Most of the demos and stuff were probably
destroyed. I have a strong feeling that Rod Temperton was the one
that snuck out the outtakes and such. Rod snuck out copies of
'Rock with You' and 'Off the Wall' to Karen from Michael Jackson's
album back around April / May 1979 and Karen's own demos as well.
Karen also said that when Phil brought Rod Temperton on that Phil had
Rod sign a paper that kept Rod from publicly talking about what went on
with Karen’s solo album.
Karen told me that she didn't actually write
songs herself, but she would
usually tell stories that others might create songs from, or a story
about her motivation for singing a song a certain way or a story about
why she chose a
certain song to sing. Karen also said that
Rod Temperton was the one that usually worked the 'control board'
during her recording sessions. Rod also had private nicknames
such as “Spaz” for Glenn Berger. Phil was “a**hole”. And
Phil and Snitchy were the gestapo at the Compound (Phil’s house).
Because they were prisoners, Karen was “Number One” and Rod was “Number
Two” as Rod felt that Phil crapped on him a lot and Karen got p*ssed
on. Karen also said
that Rod had come up with a nickname of “Karen’s Protector” for
me. Karen said that Rod had always felt a presence watching over
her and trying to comfort her and looking out for her but wasn't
physically there. I guess Phil or Itchie overheard Rod and Karen
mention “Karen’s Protector” and figured that Rod and Karen were talking
about Phil and not about someone else (OK, modesty or whatever over,
about me).
What Karen's solo album started out as was a 'story within a
group of
stories'. These stories would have been...
Side 1
1. Lovelines (The beginning, the lovelines of romance
[Darling]
and physical [Baby], which works out?)
1+. Make Believe It's Your First Time (Anything more
'romantic'
than your first?)
2. Making Love in the Afternoon (Making love -
physical, starting
out with choosing physical)
3. Still in Love with You (Made love in the afternoon
and still
ready for more)
4. If I Had You (Wanting more physical again, but not
there yet)
5. If We Try (Needing more romance as just physical is
not
cutting it, Darling reenters)
6. Something's Missing (Darling is romantic. Baby
is
physical. Romance is missing.)
Side 2
7. My Body Keeps Changing My Mind (Still a need and
desire to try
being physical again)
8. Off the Wall (Things get crazy as physical starts
going out of
control without romance)
9. Don't Try To Win Me Back Again (Just being physical
is not
enough. Time to leave Baby)
10. He's Out of My Life (Goodbye physical. Done.
Bye bye
Baby bye bye.)
10+. Guess I Just Lost My Head (Things happen, move on,
reflecting)
11. It's Really You (Romance, romance, romance. Baby
gone,
Darling reenters again)
12. Rock with You (Getting physical with romance and having
it all come
together with Darling like real love should)
The story within the group of stories
from
Karen's solo album. Karen's
idea was to try and have the songs link together so that each song told
part of a larger story and the story was cumulative. And
yes, three of the stories (8, 10, 12) were siphoned off to Michael
Jackson's Off the Wall album thus destroying Karen's album flow from
the start and it just kept getting worst.
Maybe could have substituted Remember When Loving Took All Night in for
Off the Wall which would have changed the 'conflict' a little but might
possibly have worked. Although, honestly, losing #10 was not a
major
loss like #8 and #12
were. #8 was the 'out of control' song and
#12 was the 'combination
of physical and romance' song and there really wasn't other songs to
take their place 'in the story line'. Rod
Temperton was not much of a fan of Tom Bahler for some
reason. Rod would have most likely tried to take #10 out of the
equation anyway. But anyway, Karen
and I were both hopeless romantics. Champagne, candles, the whole
nine yards. Of course romance wins, but it is even more wonderful
when physical and emotional (romance) love comes together. Also
note, it could have been a 7 song per
side album denoted with +. Also, the song I would have been
working on (Dreams Come True) probably would have been the number 11
song, but with the mess, like Karen said, "Don't bother because if it
was any good Phil would just give it away to someone else".
And for my next trick, a double album romantic and physical
love
concept. This is only a concept but after what happened with
songs
getting siphoned off and such, why not try something different and see
if it could have worked.
Disc One (Romantic)
Side One
1.
Make Believe It's Your First Time
2.
I Do It For Love
3. All Because Of You
4. Truly You
5. Last One Singing The Blues
Side Two
1. Jimmy Mack
2. Still In Love With You
3. If We Try
4. It's Really You
5. Something's Missing
Disc Two (Physical)
Side One
1. Lovelines
2. Love Making Love To You
3. Making Love In The Afternoon
4. If I Had You
5. Keep My Lovelight Burning
6. Guess I Just Lost My Head
Side Two
1. My Body Keeps Changing My Mind
2. Remember When Loving Took All Night
3. Don't Try To Win Me Back Again
4. Midnight
5. Still Crazy After All These Years
I'm thinking it could have worked. It was interesting
that there
seemed to be about 10 songs each with a physical concept in the lyrics
and about 10 songs each with a romantic concept in the lyrics.
And that
one square peg in a round hole, Still Crazy After All These Years, at
the end. Just a thought. And if you're wondering, yes, Phil
Ramone had Rod Temperton sign a paper stating that Rod wasn't to talk
about Karen's solo album publicly without Phil's OK.
Another problem, Phil Ramone never had any steady
clients
that he produced. I have seen it said that some deemed Phil "the
east
coast Quincy Jones" but Quincy usually kept his clients, Phil
didn't.
With Phil Ramone, it always seemed to be a lot of double talk and those
that double talk (they say one thing and do another or they say one
thing and then it changes later on to them saying they said something
completely different) have things to hide. Karen's solo album was
just
a big mess.
XLVI. Phil and Itchie
and Itchie's dog visit the school
During the first full week
in June 1979 (after the Carpenter family get together), Phil and Itchie
sold their big screen TV to get gas money to come out and see Karen in
Corning. This became the 100K extra meeting (400K plus 100K =
half
million). Rod Temperton drove Phil's car from Connecticut to
Corning
and they had just enough money for gas to get here after selling off
their big screen TV (Phil's accounts and such were still frozen as it
takes a bit for a lawyer to file papers to get the injunctions
removed). There was Karen, Phil Ramone, Itchie, Itchie's toy
poodle,
Rod Temperton and me. Phil and Itchie were all big mouthed and f
this
and f that and just b*tching up a storm about the injunction and being
cocky and saying how great they thought they were and all that.
While
we were sitting there Phil was barking out orders and telling Rod,
Karen and me, "I'm the f**king boss around here. I'm the f**king
head
cheese. You'll do what the f**k I tell you to f**king do when I
tell
you to f**king do it." and Phil and Itchie were just plain obnoxious
and I was 14 at the time and I didn't even work for Phil or Itchie (or
Karen for that matter, but shhh, Phil thought I was Karen's
manager).
And Phil was telling me, "You take that f**king sh*t off me. I
don't
know who the f**k you think you f**king are but I'm Phil Ramone.
Nobody does that to me." And I told Phil, "That was the
Archdeacon and
I don't have anything to do with that. How did you get off so
lucky?
When Sir Nicholas saw me they were going to boil me in oil. He
can
have someone boiled in oil with just the stroke of his pen. He's
not
someone to mess around with. He must like you." And Phil
and Itchie
were both just b*tching up a storm. And Rod knew I had put the
guy
across the hall (Max Baer Jr - Jethro) into the wall before and Rod was
doing his best to try and keep from being possibly between Phil and me
just in case. And mind you, I am about 96 pounds and about 4'9"
at
this time and Max was about 6'6" and over 300 pounds and Phil wasn't a
lightweight either but still, Rod was maybe about 130 pounds soaking
wet. Karen and I had talked before and I had said to Karen, "Why
don't
you just get rid of Phil and all the bullsh*t and try someone
else?"
And Karen was like, "I want to finish this. I have my
reasons." And
Karen had told me earlier that before Phil had started off with like
300K or such at the initial meeting and when they argued, Phil jumped
up higher and wouldn't come down. So that was where the original
400K
came from. Karen
also told me afterwards that yes, it really was worth it to her for her
to spend more time with me. Well, not just me, but the Carpenter
family having a get together in June as well as if Phil didn’t get a
check, Rod wouldn’t get a check and Itchie wouldn't get paid back
either. And,
yes, truthfully,
Karen
was not wishing to leave to be around Phil or
Itchie anyway after seeing the article that
Itchie
had
written, plus Phil needing money all the time. So
this time, yelling, cussing (not from Karen, Rod or me) and such and
then we get down to being ready to negotiate. Rod speaks out to
Phil,
"Phil, these are nice people and how can you be like this? I'm
not
going to sit around here and watch you strongarm them like you did
me." and then Rod left the room and went to the drinking fountain
and
then the bathroom. I also remember Phil
and Itchie being very pushy and trying
to get Karen to move in with them. And I believe I kept telling
them
that Karen was needed at the school as there was a shortage of teachers
and no one to replace Karen if Karen left.
I stood my ground and Karen was NOT GOING TO LEAVE before June
22nd. Then
I was like, "I really feel like Karen would be better off elsewhere and
I know there is extra cost here and Karen wants you to finish this for
her but I'd honestly rather just cut you loose and go with someone
else, so how much extra is this going to cost for you to finish her
solo album?" and then Phil is mumbling to himself for a little
bit and
then he says, "a hundred thousand." And then I just put my hands
up and I smile and I look at Karen and Karen says, "This will
cover everything else?" And Phil's mouth is just dropped to the
ground
as he was expecting to go higher. And Phil had this droopy look
on his
face and said, "Yes." And then Karen held her hand out for the
handshake and Karen said, "It's a deal, but no more and you have to
promise me you'll finish this." And Phil was like, "I
promise. It's a
deal." and Karen and Phil shook hands. Then Phil and I shook
hands and
for the next couple days I was wiping my hands trying to get all that
Jheri Curl off my hands. I hope it was Jheri Curl anyway, but
maybe
sweat, who knows now. It was just plain slimy. Karen stayed
as a
teacher until June 22nd. Then Phil, Itchie, Itchie's poodle and
Rod
left and Karen wrote three or four small checks to Phil so that Phil
could cash the checks at gas stations along the way and get back home
as Phil's accounts were still froze. Rod also forgot his baseball
cap
when he left (and I think Karen gave the hat back to Rod later, but
Karen thought that Rod's hat was stupid and Karen wanted to just throw
it in the trash).. So the 100K had to cover from June 1979 until
the
production was stopped by Karen in May 1980. And
at the beginning of this meeting I remember this gruff
italian
brooklynish voice saying something like, "Would you please call off the
dogs on me?" in reference to me thinking that the Archdeacon of
Canterbury I believe put a very nasty 'injunction' against Phil.
I also have a feeling that Phil thought, "Who does this Sir Nicholas
guy think he is?" and I remember at the end of Karen and my
conversation with Sir Nicholas, Assistant to the Archdeacon of
Canterbury, about Phil Ramone that Sir Nicholas asked if we minded if
Sir Nicholas had a little 'fun' with Mr. Ramone. After Karen's
songs had been given away while Karen was being charged for production
costs as well as seeing the letter that Phil's girlfriend Karen
"Itchie"
Iuwhatever wrote about Karen that would have possibly destroyed Karen's
career
with A & M Records and would have definitely
destroyed her teaching job, a little 'payback'
would
be nice. I
can't remember what the term is but it is only available to a very few
individuals in the world, and the Archdeacon of Canterbury was one of
them. Sir Nicholas persuaded his boss, Bernard Pawley, Archdeacon
of Canterbury, to invoke the 'nasty injunction' against Phil
Ramone. I remember it was done in mid May and I remember Karen
talking to me
about it as she was still going to Phil's house for her solo album
stuff. Karen was telling me, "It is like a ghetto there.
Phil, Rod, and Itchie are eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by
candlelight off
paper plates and it is just too funny. Selling things off to try
and get gas money for the car. Borrowing jugs of water from the
neighbors because the water was shut off. Having to pour water in
the tank to flush the toilet. Piles of garbage alongside the curb
out in front of the house. I try to act like I am concerned
and such, but I feel vindicated in a way after what they tried to do to
me. It is really very hard for me not to laugh when I am
there. I am so enjoying this. I am
getting tired of them always asking for money though. They
haven't got a clue as to
what happened, just that all of their accounts and such are froze up
and no credit and such. I know this is supposedly only temporary,
but I actually hope it lasts longer than a month or year or
whatever. It is only temporary right?" And all I could say
was, "I don't know. I'm just glad you're feeling better
and smiling again. I still love seeing you smile again."
Richard Carpenter could not have done this type of
injunction, but Richard could have filed a separate injunction just
against the use of Karen's name or such to block the solo album release
as Karen's name belonged to the
Carpenters' group (which would have probably been a suggestion from
Alpert & Moss as Richard had a 'vested' interest with Karen while A
& M did not). The nasty 'injunction' or whatever it is
actually
called freezes all accounts plus any stock or bond trading as well as
destroying a person's credit so that they can not borrow or use a
credit card as well as real estate and almost anything else you can
name involving money and property. Richard
had Sir Nicholas's business card just in case as Sir Nicholas would
have gladly created more problems for Phil if asked nicely. Phil
needed the extra money to pay Rod and Itchie back the money that Phil
borrowed from them so that Phil could stay penniless and get a lawyer
while the injunction was in place. If I
remember also,
Mr. Heib stopped by and asked Karen
if Karen was alright and who Phil was and why Phil was so upset.
I think Karen said that Phil was working on her solo album and was
always cranky anyway, but Phil had some money problems and was extra
cranky. Trust me, I do
not hold sway
over either the Archdeacon of Canterbury or his assistant, Sir
Nicholas. Sir Nicholas was definitely
added to Karen and my friends list. I believe Phil and Itchie
were
added to the "do not allow into the school" list. So
in February 1983 Karen came up with an idea to say that she was flying
out to New York (Corning, not NYC) looking into a new manager instead
of trying to tell people she was planning on eloping after the mess
with Tom Burris before. And really, after the mess in 1979, Karen
wouldn't be wanting Phil Ramone as a manager let alone a producer
either. And besides a manager doesn't make anywhere near as much
money
as a producer so why would Phil want more responsibility and headaches
for reduced pay? But the 100K story in 1979 was the idea behind
Karen
making up her 'new manager' story in 1983.
XLVII. Sir Nicholas
Born and
hip waders
Sir
Nicholas had a chat with Karen and myself
while we were together at the school. Of course the stuff about
Phil Ramone. I believe Sir Nicholas also told Karen about
what Sir Nicholas knew about my secret and I believe Karen told Sir
Nicholas about her past regressive therapy too without me there.
But
also, I believe Sir
Nicholas told us both "not to copulate" or reproduce or however he
phrased it. Sir Nicholas just said something like, "If you two
were to have a child, Methuselah may be born and then after that Lamech
and then Noah and a big flood all over again. It is very
imperative that you two do not take a chance of having children just to
be on the safe side." or something very similar in reference to Karen
having the regressive hypnotism with Edna aka Methuselah's mother and
of course my being the Keeper of the Book of Life aka Enoch aka
Methuselah's father as well. I also
remember Sir Nicholas joking and saying that he would be looking into a
pair of hip wader pants just in case. Karen and I also asked Sir
Nicholas if it would be possible to put an order of suppression on
Karen as Karen and I put it, "What if Karen was to blab to everyone
that Jesus wasn't a virgin?" Because of Karen being a celebrity,
Sir
Nicholas couldn't put a suppression order on her without destroying her
singing career. Due to legal concerns, Sir Nicholas couldn't
directly
hand over the rejected Itchie article or the suppression order
paperwork directly to Karen, however, Sir Nicholas did put them in the
garbage can and Karen and I grabbed them later. OK, OK, Karen
didn't
want to be seen as a 'garbage picker' so I pulled the papers out of the
garbage can. Karen also gave Sir Nicholas a copy of her 'past
lives'
on a sheet of paper and Sir Nicholas did take that with him.
Karen
also asked Sir
Nicholas about why the name Jesus with a J sound when his name is
Yeshua without a J sound? Sir Nicholas said that the Church can
not take an official position on this, however, just a thought here,
can it be considered blasphemy against an individual if you are not
actually using the individual's actual name? Gosh darn it.
Look at the time. It's getting late. And then Sir Nicholas
left.
XLVIII. Buddy Ebsen
visits
I am also pretty sure that
Buddy
Ebsen stopped by as well. I remember Karen
saying, "He [blank]ed me Buddy." And I
remember Buddy saying, "That's not a screw up;
that's a f***
up. Do you mind if I sit over here with
you two? Max can
be a real a**hole sometimes and I can't stand seeing a grown man
cry." And Karen was like, "Sure, we understand. Sorry you
got dragged into all of this. Would you like Ace to get you
something from the cafeteria?" And yes, during company visits in
the room, I always volunteered to be the gopher. You know, go for
this, go for that. I was a kid; I had more energy that I needed
to burn off. Plus, like I said to Buddy,
"This is the part that Karen and
I came up with where you get rid of the little kid because it can feel
awkward trying to have grown up talk with a little kid around. So
the
little kid disappears for a bit and then comes back later after goofing
off on the way to add a little extra time. You know how kids
are."
And Karen said, "He's not just a kid but he can be a real smart ass
too." And I said, "Like she said,
because if I said it, I would get my mouth washed out with soap for
it." And I am pretty sure Buddy said (with
a smile on his face), "He really is a smart ass ain't he?" And I
am pretty sure Karen said back (with a smile on her face), "That he is
and he needs to get his smart ass moving so we can talk." And
during Buddy's visit, Buddy was
chatting away
with Karen and I, and Buddy would wave over to Max across the hall
making
Max think that Buddy was 'patching things over' when we were mostly
talking about how Buddy was doing now and any special plans or hopes or
dreams and stuff like that. Buddy also called Karen, "Miss
Karen". Buddy actually was very polite and not one to cuss, but
after Buddy heard what happened, Buddy was a little upset for a short
while, maybe a minute or two, because Max hadn't told Buddy the rest of
the details. Buddy was like, "I'm sorry Miss Karen, I'm not one
to
usually cuss, but I feel like a darned fool coming over here like
this. Max just got my dander up." And Karen was like, "It's
not your fault that Max didn't
tell
you the rest. I'm glad you came over. Now you
know." Buddy was a
very down to earth person too. I
told Buddy, "You don't have to worry about Max coming over here.
Max is afraid of me after I slammed him up against the wall. I
may not look like much, but he found out." or something like that.
XLIX. Behind the
scenes. Family talk. Rumors
(Added April 11, 2020) A
little bit before Karen and I went 'ring shopping' Karen brought in a
box full of family photos. Karen started going through the photos
and telling me about her upcoming family get together. Karen had
many pictures and she would pull a picture out and say, "This is my
great aunt..." and talk a bit about each one. Reminiscing.
Then Karen brought up that she had seen her brother, Richard, seeming
to be more than friends with their first cousin, Mary Rudolph.
Karen referred to Richard and Mary as “lovebirds” too. Karen was
actually happy that Richard had appeared to have found someone that he
cared about and cared about him finally even if she was an adopted
first cousin. Karen then started laughing and said something
like, "It's funny
because here we are the squeaky clean kids next door and my brother is
romantically involved with our first cousin and here I am chasing after
jailbait. It's just too funny. There actually is real dirt
for a change, but the papers haven't figured it out yet so I think
Richard and me are fine. But if someone shows up and starts
asking weird questions, play dumb, OK?" And I was like, "No
prob. That is funny. Not us, but you know..." and then
Karen talks about family secrets and such. Karen talked about how
her one aunt, Guinevere, had just recently passed away in 1978.
Then Karen talked about Mary Rudolph and how when Karen was younger,
she noticed that all of a sudden there was talk of a car accident in
the family involving like 5th or 6th cousins and how, without someone
getting pregnant, cousin Mark had a baby sister just show up at a
family get together about (three to six?) months after the
accident. But that was her mom's side of the family, Tatums,
Rudolphs and such, and Karen was getting ready for a family get
together with her dad's side of the family, Carpenters, Lynns,
Bihuniaks, and such.
Also, Karen talked about rumors as far as
her and Richard and the Carpenters band. Karen was like, "If it
doesn't sound right, it isn't. There's no wild orgies or sex
parties or that kind of stuff. Most of the time on the road, we
just perform the show, go to a hotel room for a little bit, catch a bus
or a plane and then do the next show. It's definitely not a life
of glamour and all that. We don't really have enough time or make
enough money for that kind of stuff." And then Karen was like,
"As far as me and my brother having sex. Richard and I are
brother and sister and we have been through a lot together and we are
very close to one another and we love each other very much and very
dearly. We are brother and sister and the thought of possibly
bringing in a bunch of inbreds with hillbilly teeth into the world is
just not my idea of having a good time..." "...And yes, I have had a
lot of boyfriends over the years, but being on the road doesn't allow
much time to have a lasting relationship. Love 'em and leave 'em
is as good as it gets. I've been lucky so far, but foam and
rubbers when needed and hope nothing goes wrong."
We then talked
about her grandfather George getting remarried and how Wendy and Peter
were step cousins and the family joke about the 'wicked' step mother as
the Bihuniaks were usually very nice and calm people and didn't usually
get upset whereas the Carpenters were very down to earth people and
could be mean when they felt they needed to be.
Karen also mentioned that she didn't like using the word
"step" as Karen considered family as being family whether by marriage
or by blood so to speak. There was also a
story that Karen learned about her
grandfather, George, and how Thomas Carpenter and Elizabeth Ann
(Sherlock) Carpenter were George's parents and how Thomas and Susan
were married at the same time as Thomas and Elizabeth so the marriage
to Elizabeth was annulled and Susan was actually a step mom for Karen's
grandfather George. Karen's great
grandmother, Susan (Seal) Carpenter, was blind and Karen asked me if I
would go with her to the family get together and help her with her
great grandmother if needed. Karen also said that her great
grandmother was I believe the third oldest person living in the UK at
the time and was over a hundred years old and kind of a celebrity
herself being the third oldest person in the UK. Karen also said
that it was her great grandmother's wish that Karen would find a
husband and get married and settle down before Susan passed away.
So in addition to possible extra help, a plan of Karen's where Karen
and I would show up and tell everyone that we had snuck off and eloped
because of my age and the publicity and such. And so...
L. The rings
Also, near the end of the
school year, Karen and I walked
down Market Street in Corning and we looked in jewelry stores at
wedding and engagement rings. It was kind of uneventful as
nothing
really stood out too much. Diamonds, gold, boring for a
guy. I could
also see Karen looking very disappointed that nothing seemed to stand
out to her either. But then at the fourth place we went to there
was a
wedding set that had a set of wedding bands that were white gold in the
middle and yellow gold on the outside (thinking back, the wedding bands
may have been just white gold, platinum, not sure now), but the diamond
engagement ring that was with them just seemed to sparkle like Karen's
eyes when we looked at each other. It was just amazing. I
just
started saying, "Sparkles, sparkles, sparkles" and I had a kind of
gurgly growl to my voice when I said it. Karen asked the jeweler
about
the ring and the jeweler said that I had a sharp eye and that the ring
actually had a history to it. The ring had a certificate of
authenticity with it, and this was the original diamond that made a
certain gem cutter (I believe his name was Bartholdi but not sure)
famous. The gem cutter asked the people with the raw diamond to
set
that particular piece aside for him as he had an idea. The idea
was
that every diamond above a certain size (karat) has a flaw. The
gem
cutter thought of a way to make that 'flaw' into an enhancement.
The
cutter cut the diamond so that the 'flaw' was at a certain spot and
then designed a special setting to help enhance the light shining
through the diamond to make the light appear brighter. As you can
see,
that idea worked and it was the first time that a gem cutter had cut a
diamond using a flaw as a way to magnify the light as it passed through
the diamond. It has been done many times since then and the gem
cutter
personally listed this as his 9th most favorite piece he had ever
worked on out of thousands of pieces. This was the piece that
made him
famous, but afterwards he had been able to work on some others that he
felt were a bit more challenging. But history or not, this was
the
only diamond I had seen that sparkled like Karen's eyes and I was just
mesmerized by it. I would see the ring again in 1981. Karen
just
whipped out her Visa card and said, "It's unlimited, so it should have
enough on it and I'll just pay it off when I get home. I rarely
use
it, so if there's a problem, I have other cards if you need." The
jeweler took the card and looked at it. And then Karen said, "I
forgot, do you want to see some ID with that?" And the Jeweler
said,
"No need. I definitely know it is you as I have a few of your
albums
at home. I also saw the card number and I knew it was an
unlimited
card. What brings you around here if you don't mind me
asking?" And
Karen said something like, "I have some cousins in the area and I was
just visiting them and something told me that I was going to find
something amazing today and I did. Well, he did anyway."
Anyway, yes,
the Visa card had the numbers 1234567890 on it and the embossed name of
Karen A Carpenter. Karen and I walked out with a bag with the
rings
inside and then we walked across the street and Karen got a hot dog
with meat sauce and I got a hot dog with ketchup at the hot dog stand
across the street (Jim's Texas Hots). Actually, if I remember
right,
We ended up getting two hot dogs with meat sauce. I went to pick
up
the first one with meat sauce for Karen since Karen had her arms full
and Karen and I bumped each other and the hot dog with meat sauce fell
to the ground. Karen got another one. And Karen was like,
"You should
try it with the meat sauce, it's good. I'll let you have a bite
of
mine." And I was like, "We can't kiss, but I guess if we took a
bite
out of each other's hot dogs, it might be close to a kiss." So we
each
took a bite of each other's hot dogs on the bitten end. Karen
held
hers and I bit it, and I held mine and Karen bit it. And Karen
was
like, "See they're good, do you want to try another bite." And I
was
like, "It's alright, but I still prefer the ketchup. I like
eating
after you though. I can almost taste your lips." So we
walked
together up the hill and every other bite, we switched hot dogs.
It
ended up with us each having the last bite of our own hot dogs, so it
worked out well. It was fun.
LI. Wedding Bells?
Anniversary get together? Family business
(Note, I am adding this on
February 26, 2020 after another one of those
memory recall things happened again) I believe it was either late May
or early June 1979, because Karen and I were not wearing coats that I
can remember, but I remember Karen and I attending a family event
together that I believe was an anniversary. I met some of Karen's
older relatives on her dad's side. I can't remember names for
sure
now, but I keep remembering the name Gladys for some reason
even though there isn't a Gladys that I know of,
but I also
know that I met Matilda Lynn, Karen's great aunt. I remember
Matilda kept asking me to do the slow dances with her (Waltzing Matilda
so to speak). Most of the fast dances I did with Karen if I
remember right. I also think it was a DJ but not positive yet on
that. I also believe
I met Great Aunt Gertrude Lynn as well who lived in Wellsville New York
which is about an hour away from Corning New York. The names Joe,
Jack, Charlie, and George got bounced around a lot during conversations
as well as those were the sons of Susan and Thomas Carpenter, Karen's
great grandparents. Thomas' mother's name I believe was Sarah
Anne (Nash) Carpenter which is where I believe Karen's middle name,
Anne, came from. I think it had something to do with Harold and
Agnes had a Nash Rambler, so they used Sarah’s middle name as Karen’s
middle name. Also lots of talk of Dmytro and Wefta
Bihuniak. Karen
was asked
to
bring her great grandmother, Susan (Seal) Carpenter, to the party and
Karen asked me
to come along in case she needed extra help with her. Karen
then also had me wear the wedding ring
and told me
about her plan and why. Karen and I picked up Susan (not Sue or
Suzie or Suzanne, but Susan) at
the apartment complex and we walked about two blocks to the union hall
where the party was being held. When we picked her up, we had the
rings on. Susan noticed the rings and Karen
and I
both said, "We eloped this afternoon." Susan
was
blind and she was feeling our faces and feeling how happy we
were. Susan started smiling too. We helped Susan up and
we walked her to the party. On the way, Susan asked us to
describe everything to her, so
Karen and
I started talking about the lush gardens and fountains and wonderful
trees and such. And you have to love old people as Susan said
to us after we got close to arriving, "You're both
full of sh*t; this place is a dump; but I appreciate you two trying to
make me feel better." And I said, "OK, you caught us, but at
least we
tried." And we all laughed together as I opened the door to the
union
hall and we went inside. And oh boy, did Karen and I get an
earful at
the
party when we got there in a good way.
As one said, "We've been happily married fifty years and you two make a
great couple if you don't mind me saying so. In all my years I
have never seen a more happier couple than you two." And another,
"Marry them when they're younger so you can get some good use out of
them before it's too late." And more, "We've been married fifty
years
and don't let our talking fool you and scare you off of being
married. It was the best thing we've ever done." And even
more, "I've
never seen a more happier couple than you two. And don't let
others
fool you, it still gets better with age." And even more than
more,
"Don't let age get in your way of having a good time. You'll have
good
memories of these wonderful times when you get older." And some
more,
"We're glad you didn't
wait
until you get older. It's too late then and you can't
enjoy it as much." And, "Don't pay no nevermind to him, he's an
old
fuddy duddy and he doesn't like anything. Marry for love.
Don't ever
marry for money. There's your proof on a silver platter."
And, "We're glad you brought him with
you. New
blood. It kind of livened things up a bit around here. Not
because of
your ages, but because you both are so happy together. Everyone
seems
a bit happier than normal." And, "We ain't no spring chickens,
but
just because there is snow on the roof doesn't mean there ain't fire in
the furnace." And then, "Life's too short to worry about what
others
think. So long as you two are happy, who cares?" And then
more,
"I'm glad you married him. Don't let the folks tell you any
different.
If they do,
send them to us and we'll straighten them right out for you." And
more
then, "We were the young couple here at thirty years until you showed
up." And of course to Karen, "How's your
mom doing? She's one
of us. We're really glad your dad met your mom. Your dad
was like a
bump on a log and would probably still be just sitting on the couch if
it hadn't been for your mom putting a fire under his keister."
Actually, Harold wasn't lazy, but until Agnes, Harold hadn't really
been interested in women. With the Carpenters being family
oriented, they were thrilled with Harold finally wanting someone to
start a family with or is that a famdamily? Yes, being a part of
a family was the opposite of being cursed, so a famdamily not the other
way around. If you
couldn't
tell, Karen and I tried to visit with everyone. Karen and I also
were
seated at the main table with Susan. There
were quite a few people there and
most
were over 50. And just a couple of us 'spring chickens'.
The family
was also so happy to see Karen visit as the folks (mom and dad), Karen,
and Richard lived out in California now and Karen and Richard were out
on the road and toured a lot. The family definitely let their
hair
down. Karen let her hair down too. Swapping family stories
together.
The good stuff. And of course Karen and I liked to clown around
with
each other and make jokes. Susan sat between
Karen and me and joined in on the fun as well. Karen also fixed
Susan
a plate to eat and told her stuff like, "meat at 9 o'clock,
dessert at 6 o'clock..." Like
Karen, Susan was still very independent. And
even more of course, family
business
remains family business and gets censored to keep it in the family
where it belongs. I am 100% positive
that Karen introduced me to the family as her husband and told everyone
that we had just eloped because we didn't want all the media publicity
and such with me being younger. I
met Karen's Uncle Jack as well as there was a possible problem but
Karen's Uncle Jack took care of it before it may have became a big
problem. I
had always known the Carpenters to be ones to look out for one another
and I got to see and hear about it first hand after I heard about what
Karen's Uncle Jack did for Karen. Wonderful people.
Wonderful
family. And Karen's Uncle Jack pulled me aside as well as
Karen. Karen's Uncle Jack had a little talk with Karen first
and
then Karen's Uncle Jack said something like, "That was the nicest
present I got in a long time. My mother has been blind for a
while now and she hasn't smiled since she went blind. She was
laughing and smiling and having a great time. Everyone was
laughing and smiling and having a great time and no amount of money can
ever buy that." Karen's Uncle Jack realized that I was too
young
to actually marry Karen but he still gave me the 'boyfriend' lecture
that Karen had kind of warned me about beforehand. But anyway, I
can't remember exactly but Karen's Uncle Jack said something like,
"She's my niece and if I ever catch you (can't remember now)
with her I am going to cut your balls (nuts?) off with a knife." or
something
like that. And then I surprised her Uncle Jack as I said back
something like, "If I ever do something like that to her I hope you use
a dull rusty butter knife and make it as painful as possible. I
actually wasn't acting or anything. I really do love her but
unfortunately as you've probably noticed I'm still too young."
And then I believe her Uncle Jack said something like, "I'm going to
hold you to that and when you get old enough if you still wish to marry
my niece and she still wishes to marry you, I give you both my
blessings." And I believe (but not positive) this party was the
reason why
Karen and I went shopping for an engagement ring probably a few days
before this party (but maybe not). I am not sure if this was a
birthday party for Susan or her Uncle Jack's and
Aunt ?'s 70th anniversary party but I am positive it was one or the
other or possibly a combination of both or maybe even something
else.
I also know that Karen's Uncle Richard and Aunt Mary were there as
well. And
another note, this may
have
possibly been what set up Tom Burris a little over a year later.
I believe that Susan was blind and was hoping that
Karen would get married before she passed
away. This I believe was why Karen introduced me as her husband
at the party. I had also told Karen as
this was outside school and a family function and such, anything goes
as far as physical contact and such as that would be needed for the
eloping story for Susan. But outside the event or
her family, we couldn't touch again until I got older. Really,
Karen and I did do a bunch of 'you don't know Jack' jokes after
this. I believe Jack was cousin Patti's great grandfather.
Also, Karen had her step cousin Wendy taking pictures during
this. Nice pictures of the lens cap, the floor, the ceiling,
feet, backs of heads, her thumb. Karen kind of commented to me
off to the side, “I wish I had thought of my friend Carolyn to take
pictures. She’s probably working though anyway. She’s
pretty good with action shots and such. Usually I just toss her
my camera and somehow she gets a great shot. I like her pictures
because they usually seem so natural. Wendy on the other hand,
sometimes you just got to laugh I guess. She tries hard.”
Yes,
the plot thickens I believe...
(And on May 21, 2020) And some more stuff as far
as the 1979 family get together
(Susan birthday and Jack anniversary). Karen's uncle Richard
Carpenter
and his wife aunt Mary showed up late and uncle Richard was wearing a
twill (UK) / tweed (US) suit with patches on it - a style at the
time.
Great uncle Jack Carpenter spoke up and said something like, "Nephew, I
have a whole closet full of suits that you could have borrowed instead
of taking one off of some hobo. You should have left it on the
hobo in
the gutter where it belongs." something like that. Also, during
the
party, Karen kept sending me out to dance with her great aunt Matilda
Lynn because Karen wanted some privacy while Karen and her great
grandmother, Susan (Seal) Carpenter talked about Karen's grandparents
(George Carpenter and Nellie [Lynn] Carpenter) as well as dad, Harold,
growing up and those kinds of stories. Family stuff. Karen
and I
would kind of dance some of the fast dances together but it was
important that Karen got a chance to chat with her great
grandmother.
Later, Karen, me and great grandmother Susan all got up and danced
together to a fast song. Then a little later Karen and I were
fast
dancing and doing a 'butt bump' together and we kind of bumped a little
hard and the family could see Karen get upset and Karen started to
'give it back to me'. Then I said something like, "Oops, Honey,
I'm
sorry about that. I'll kiss it and make it better" and then I
believe
I leaned over and kissed Karen's butt in front of everyone and of
course we all started busting out laughing, Karen and me
included.
Then a little later to a slower dance, Karen and I were kind of doing a
tango type dance and we noticed there was a kind of broom closet with
louvered doors on it. So I started dancing Karen over towards the
louvered doors and Karen would start dancing me away from the doors,
then I would dance her towards the doors, back and forth until we
finally got to the door and I opened it and Karen and I snuck inside
for a little bit with the louvered door closed while the others were
outside laughing about Karen and I sneaking off to the broom closet (we
had told everyone we eloped, so you would think we would want to sneak
off for a little privacy). I am not totally sure now on parts of
this,
but pretty sure that Karen and I had our first kiss this time and I
believe Karen pushed the door open while we were kissing and people in
the room were going "aw (and a couple people saying "that's so sweet"
too maybe?)". Like usual when we were around others, Karen and I
put
on a good show that was memorable. A great time. Afterwards
when we
dropped off great grandmother Susan to the apartment she was staying at
(in Daysprings on the corner of Columbia and route 17 [Dennison Parkway
East] at the time) and that was when great uncle Jack asked to see the
marriage papers from us eloping, which of course, we hadn't actually
eloped. Cat out of the bag and during this was when great
grandmother
Susan said to great uncle Jack, "I may be blind, but I can still find
your bottom Jack" and also great uncle Jack realizing that I was only
14 (too young) gave Karen and me his blessings if we decided to get
married later and all that other stuff talked about between us.
LII. Shrinks part 1
As far as how things went
with the psychiatrists,
psychologists and therapists... Very, very poorly.
Honestly, Karen
walked out several times because she got tired of them trying to put
words in Karen's and her family's mouths. It was bad and you can
see
it all over the place still. Karen would say that her and Richard
were
never comeptitive and the shrinks would tell her that she was in denial
about it. Honest, brothers and sisters are usually complimentary,
not
competitive. What, was Richard going to try and clean the house
faster
than Karen? Was Karen going to try and outdo Richard playing the
piano? Brothers are usually competitive with other brothers and
sisters competitive with other sisters. It was REALLY, REALLY
that bad
and then some. Karen said to me, "It seemed like every time
something
came out of my or my family's mouths, the psychiatrists, psychologists,
and therapists would automatically try and turn it around to make it
sound like we were saying the complete opposite of what we actually
said. It was that bad and we all walked out." As far as
Richard being
the 'favorite' and Karen being the 'black sheep'. True. And
in all
honesty, many times since they believed Richard, Richard would honestly
lie to keep Karen out of trouble if possible. Karen would do the
same
for Richard too. Brothers and sisters do that for one another and
Karen and Richard were no exceptions. Karen and Richard didn't
really
have goals or such, but they loved making music together. Karen
and
Richard were seen as over achievers even though they didn't have goals
that they were trying to achieve. Yes, the shrinks dealing with
the
Carpenters were honestly that 'nuts / crazy'. Like Karen and I
agreed
on, "Favorites put the round pegs in the round holes and the square
pegs in the square holes. Black sheep put the round pegs in the
square
holes and the square pegs in the round holes and if they don't fit
right, you just need to use a bigger mallet. Favorites are
favored
because they do what everyone else does. Black sheep have more
fun but
tend to get in more trouble because they don't always do what everyone
else does. I like being a black sheep, is there something wrong
with
being honest?" Also, Karen had the game
Perfection in her desk drawer. In
all honesty, neither Karen nor myself could actually get all the pieces
into the slots before it popped. We came within two or three
pieces a
couple times, but that was about as close as we got. As
far as the Carpenters being
'dysfunctional'... N-O,
NO. Honestly, the shrinks were dysfunctional. Y-E-S,
YES. How can
you deal with those that keep trying to turn everything you say or do
around to fit THEIR mold of what they feel is going on instead of
accepting the truth? What can you do or say when you are told
everything you do or say is wrong or a lie? Nothing. And
that has
been a BIG problem with psychiatry, psychology, and therapy.
'Hidden
meanings' where shrinks try to say that things exist when in reality,
they do not. Playing 'tricks' on people is dishonest. How
can you
'trick' someone into being honest when you are not being honest
yourself? Exactly. PSYCHOBABBLE!!!
(twisting things
around so bad that no matter what anyone says or does is seen as being
wrong). How can someone that is not being honest honestly help
someone
else? They honestly can't. And when you have a guilty
conscience why
not lie some more and try and blame others instead of taking blame
yourself and learning from your own mistakes? So anyway, shrinks,
answer this - "How can someone become honest when all that a shrink
does is call them a liar no matter what the other person says or
does?" YES, that is a BIG problem. And in the end, Karen
weighed 108
pounds in all honesty. Others tried to lie and say Karen weighed
80 or
84 pounds when she died. Honestly. That is why anything by
Tom
Burris, Phil Ramone, Itchie Ramone, any of the shrinks and most authors
that use these sources I discount as
being untrue about Karen Carpenter. I believe Richard Carpenter,
Paul
Williams, Carl "Cubby" O'Brien, and Patti Carpenter (I believe Hirtl is
her married name, but
not sure). Rod Temperton was caught in the middle at times, so it
was
kind of hit and miss with him depending on what was asked about.
Most of all, I always believed Karen
Carpenter and Karen Carpenter's diary because for some strange reason,
Karen always seemed to know the most about herself despite the experts'
opinions. And as we know, "Experts never make mistakes. All
people
make mistakes; myself included. Therefore experts are just
figments of
their own imaginations." And honestly, Karen could not take
ipecac
syrup
or such on the day of or the day before she died. Midol pills or
such possibly (but not
definitely) because she was expecting her 'visitor'
(menstruation).
Possibly a box of chocolates maybe. Not ipecac syrup. And
honestly, Karen called me
the day before she died so I know she was
expecting her 'visitor' (menstrual cycle). I also know for sure
that
Karen was feeling fine on the day before she died. Karen was very
happy and not depressed or such nor feeling anything unusual physically
or mentally besides her visitor (which always
made her feel tired). It was
unexpected. Karen's heart
stopped. Cardiac
arrest. It happens. It may sound strange, but every time a
person's
heart stops beating for over 5 minutes, they died. True
story. Karen's aura left her body and Karen's body died after her
heart stopped beating.
As far as Karen and control issues... There
are many
examples of that that I had experienced first hand being around
Karen.
So when I say that control had nothing to do with Karen's anorexia, I
am very sure of that. Max was trying to control Karen, Karen had
me
stay with her during lunch. Karen didn't have anorexia because of
that. Karen's couple times of starting to have anorexia came
after a
couple times in 1978 and early 1979 when Karen
started thinking that I wasn't attracted to her because
of her weight but I reminded her of my age (one time mentioned in the
Sexual Innuendos and Bible Verses section, and the 'fertilizer' talk
where I said she was beautiful).
Another time was before the school pictures (mentioned above) and
another time after Karen went to do the Bruce Forsyth Show. A
couple
other times happened but Karen had started realizing that her 'eating
problem' or anorexia was from either sleeping or performing issues or
sometimes feeling she wasn't attractive to others. As far as
control
issues, Karen was a fighter and would fight back when needed.
As far as trying to control Karen, from someone that knew
Karen well, that would be just as crazy as trying to control Karen's
mom, Agnes. Just not happening.
LIII. Shrinks Part 2
So why didn't Karen talk
more about her problems publicly?
There are doctor and patient confidentiality rules is one part.
Neither the doctor nor the patient are supposed to discuss things
publicly. This is the prime reason. The secondary and
probably more
compelling reason was that Karen was not one to say bad things about
people if she could help it in private and Karen definitely did not
want to say bad things about people publicly at all. Karen was
raised
with, "If you don't have something nice to say then it is better to say
nothing at all. What you do in your own
home is your business." And yes, Richard
and Karen were brother and
sister.
And speaking of dysfunctional shrinks... Karen
spoke with
numerous psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists with usually
VERY, VERY... BAD RESULTS.
Yes, Karen did have a sense of humor,
but this
stuff is a bit ridiculous honestly. As
Karen referred to it, "the looney bin". Truly.
One therapist that Karen
visited accused Karen of being an over achiever. Like Karen said
to me,
"How can I be an over achiever when I really don't have any goals or
objectives? Figure that one out."
Like Karen said, "It
seemed like every time I said something to one of them, I got told that
I was wrong and that I was lying. A prime example is that me and
my
brother Richard have never competed against each other. I told
them
that Richard and I are brother and sister so we compliment and not
compete with one another. What were Richard and I going to
compete
over? Who could iron shirts the fastest? For some reason
they couldn't
answer me on that one."
And Karen said, "I
remember the one session where me and my family were there and they
kept accusing us of being liars and that we were just trying to cover
up for each other and hide from the truth, so I asked them what the
truth was and we all just sat there
silent for a little while and then we all just walked out on
them.
That's the truth."
And Karen said, "It
seemed like a game with them that every time I said something they
would try to tell me that I said the exact opposite of what I
said. I
would try to correct them and they would say that I wasn't
listening.
So then I said, Earth to therapist, if I wasn't listening then how did
I know that what you said wasn't what I said?"
Another time Karen said
to me, "They seem to just keep trying to dig up dirt on me for the
tabloids. I don't have any dirt. I have nothing to
hide. So they keep
making stuff up."
And another time Karen
said, "Most of the time I have no idea who they are talking
about.
About all I hear is the word Karen and then a bunch of stuff comes out
of their mouths that doesn't make any sense or sound like me at
all."
And yet another time,
"Past regressive therapy is very expensive but it works.
Afterwards we
found out that there was nothing in my past lives to cause an eating
disorder."
And all of this talk of ipecac syrup in mass
quantities. Karen
hid it
so well that even she
couldn't find it apparently. I did see Karen take laxatives a few
times
and she said, "I feel constipated. I haven't gone in a while."
And I
was like, "Your eyes are brown. You're probably full of it and a
laxative might help. My eyes are blue so I'm a quart low. I
probably
ought to start eating corks to help hold it in more." And we both
laughed. I honestly don't remember Karen ever trying to hide
taking a
laxative when I was around her from September 1978 to June 1979 to be
honest. But then the point of hiding is so that others don't see
so I
don't truly know for sure on that. One
time
Karen got sick after taking a laxative and after
that she realized that she needed to take it easy a bit more and not
worry about losing weight so much. Karen and I could read each
others' thoughts and we both knew that Karen was taking the laxative
for weight and not for constipation which was why my "Your eyes are
brown; you are full of it" comment to Karen before. Karen asked
me about it and I told her truthfully that "Yes, I had a double meaning
on the full of it comment. Pun intended." And Karen and I
realized, "XLAX looks the same going in as it does coming out."
As far as being "fat"? Karen and
her step cousin Wendy could only get as far as "pleasingly plump"
anymore
and that was that. I do know that Karen
did at least
once put her finger down her throat to make herself puke and she
admitted it to me. So that is why that ipecac syrup story doesn't sound
right to me. Ipecac syrup has calories and such. A finger doesn't have
calories and is a lot cheaper and you don't have to worry about getting
rid of the container afterwards either. I
guess the 'ipecac syrup stuff' was relating to Karen and Cherry Boone
O'Neill around 1982. I have serious doubts
about ipecac syrup being a 'cause of death' for Karen honestly.
In more honesty, Karen would have had to have died from
choking on her own vomit if that were the case and that does not appear
to be the case that I am aware of. Also, I
do not remember seeing anything listed of an
abnormal heart or aorta for Karen. That would leave the fact that
Karen's body stopped getting the message for Karen's heart to
beat. A
sudden stroke at the brain stem possibly? Aneurysm? Seizure?
And speaking of
September 1978 to June 1979, Karen was a school teacher and staying
with her step cousin Wendy who taught Karen how to knit and crochet
while
they watched video taped soap operas on a beta max.
Many times Karen told me that her and Wendy would just fall
asleep in their recliners with their knitting needles still in their
hands. Karen also came into school one day and just said, “My
cousin Wendy is a little stinker, but I fixed her. She’s been
moving the scales so that they weigh ten pounds less. I set the
scales so they weigh ten pounds more now. Let’s see how she likes
that, that little stinker.” And I was like, “It looks like the
shoe’s on the other foot now. Speaking of which, yup, left left,
right right. Nobody reached under her desk
and tied my shoe laces together again. I’m
good.” Karen didn't have
anyone hanging over her shoulder while she was a teacher including her
parents or Richard. Karen started doing her solo album with Phil
Ramone
and Karen was constantly being watched over and not allowed to leave
Phil, Rod Temperton, or Snitchy's sight while doing her solo
album. Rod
and Karen used to joke together and call Phil's house 'the compound'
and Phil and Snitchy were the 'gestapo' and the big joke was "Let's
make a break for it" between Karen and Rod. Honest, Karen told me
that
at Phil's house, Karen had constant supervision and couldn't leave the
house without someone going with her. So when Itchie and Phil
talk
about
how controlling the Carpenters were and such, I don't believe it.
I
know better. I heard the exact opposite out of Karen's mouth
herself.
I actually saw first hand how controlling Phil and Itchie were.
And I was around Karen when she was teaching and I can definitely say
that Karen's family was not controlling Karen. And as Rod warned
Karen, "Anything you tell Snitchy, Phil knows." so honestly, I know
Karen used to lie and hide information from Snitchy as Karen couldn't
trust her. And hearing some of the stuff that Snitchy has said, I
can understand why Karen lied and withheld information too. When
you lie to someone or don’t tell the rest of the information and they
repeat that lie or half truth, you know who said it because no one else
knows that lie or half truth but the one you tell that lie or half
truth to. (And yes, I am just going to leave my participles and
prepositions dangling in public on this one despite being taught better
by my 8th grade english teacher). Karen Carpenter never trusted
Karen 'Itchie/Snitchy' Ramone and it shows in the things that Snitchy
has said.
And then, "I don't know
what the big deal is that my mother doesn't hug me makes the front
page. My mother doesn't hug my brother either but you never hear
that
mentioned." Karen said this after looking at the front page of a
tabloid (those square papers, not like a regular newspaper) and then
going to "see story page..." and turning the pages to that story.
Karen was furious and slammed the paper on her desk when she came in
that day for school (around late October to mid November 1978 I
believe). And honestly, I saw Karen and her brother hug each
other
both times that Richard visited Karen at the school. Once in 1978
and
once in 1979. I can only imagine what the tabloids would have
done if
they had got pictures of that. And honestly, they just
hugged. Very
heart felt hugs, but hugs none the less. In all honesty, Karen's
and
Richard's mother, Agnes, was not someone that hugged people.
Agnes was
never a mean person unless you did something wrong, she just wasn't a
hugger. Karen's mom was more of a thinker
and not a very emotional person normally.
Anyway, Karen told me this incident mentioned in the paper took place
in February 1978.
And Karen said, "I was there and they brought my mom in and
told me and my mom to hug each other. It was very awkward because
my
mom was not a hugger and they never discussed this with me or my mom
beforehand. So there they were trying to force me and my mom to
hug
each other. It was horrible. You don't force people to hug
each other
like that in front of total strangers. I don't know what they
were
thinking but I let them know what I was thinking and they didn't like
it. Next thing I know it ends up in the papers with a lot of
misleading
information as usual. I am actually glad that me and my mother
didn't
hug because they probably would have accused us of being what was that
word again? Thespians?" And I said, "Lezzies, um, lesbians.
Thespians are actors and actresses." And Karen was like,
"Yeah, they would have probably put it all over the papers that me and
my mom were lesbians. I'm so furious over this. How is
trying to
traumatize people helping them?" And I was like, "I'm going to duck
now, but if you do turn lesbian can I watch?" And Karen gave me that
evil look like I knew she would and said, "Not funny Adrian.
Honestly,
I like guy parts, not girl parts. I thought about it, and I could
never
be like that." And she smiled and then said, "Thanks, I just realized
that how can I turn lesbian or whatever when I can't even bring myself
to hug my own mother?" And I was like, "Yeah, you can't believe all
that you read in the tabloids. But then again, some people will
believe
anything or else the tabloids wouldn't be selling. I mean
honestly,
your therapy sessions are supposed to be private. Like you said,
this
is bad, and you're right about that, I would be furious too." And she
was like, "Richard's looking into it. There were definitely some
breach
of privacy issues broken. Thanks for being my sounding
board. I've been
so upset lately over this as you've probably noticed. Thanks for
helping me feel better like always." And I was like, "My
pleasure. It's
always great seeing that awesome smile of yours. Thanks." And she
was
like, "Pardon me for asking, but have you ever thought about becoming a
doctor when you get older? I think you would make a good
doctor. You've
always helped me out a lot." And I was like, "I've thought about it,
Doctor Ace, but it's not like the old days when people became doctors
to help people. Anymore, it's all about making money as you've
been
noticing and I'm not like that."
I am not sure if this is a continuation of the "hug me"
incident or
something else possibly. But I remember Karen telling me that her
and her mother were at the mental clinic and Karen and her mother were
together in a therapy session. After the psychiatrist or
therapist had tried to accuse her family of not
caring about Karen, Karen became so furious at
them that she
burst into tears and started yelling at them. As Karen said to
me, "My family has always been there for me and trying to say that my
family didn't care about me was the straw that broke the camel's
back. If it wasn't for my family suggesting it, I never would
have went there in the first place. But I was having problems and
it seemed like they (psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists) only
made my problems worst. I had the eating disorder and it had
nothing to do with my family. No one else in my family had the
problem of anorexia nervosa and so trying to blame my family just does
not make any sense. But saying my family did not love or care
about me was just an outright lie and I let them have it for saying
that. I was furious and in tears because I was so mad at them."
Karen dropped the F bomb on them right in front of her
mother and Karen was waiting for her mother to backhand her but instead
Karen's mother said
to Karen something like "Enough Karen, we need to leave this
place. This place isn't doing you any good or me either."
And Karen and her mom walked out of the place and to the family car in
the parking lot of the clinic. Karen then told me that her mother
got Karen into the car and then gave Karen the keys to the car and told
Karen that if a bunch of emergency vehicles showed up that Karen needed
to leave with the car and get out of there and just go home.
Karen's mother told Karen that now it was her turn to give them a piece
of her mind after what had happened (which probably was the 'hug'
session, but not 100% sure now, but close to 100%). Karen's
mother then gave Karen a "I'm probably never going to see you again"
hug and slammed the door to the car and proceeded to walk at least a
half city block back into the clinic and Karen said that she had the
windows rolled up in the car and could still hear every word her mother
said to them after her mother went inside the building. Karen's
mother came back out afterwards and got into the car and Karen and her
mother left and went home. When Karen got the bill, she went into
the clinic and the people there were holding the doors for her and
apologizing and such. Karen went in and paid the bill and then
left and never went back there again.
And another continuation here as I have came across some
people that seem to want to think otherwise (internet again).
There is
a picture of Karen and Olivia in their pajamas in a bed on the
internet. From what I have heard from people, that picture was
taken
during the overnight stay on I believe sometime in November 1980 when
Karen, Olivia, Matt Lattanzi and Thomas Burris took Karen's boat, the
Lucia, to Catalina Island. The boat broke down and so they had to
stay
overnight at the 'Motel Dump Water' as Karen called it on the Merv
Griffin Show (the show was taped on September 1, 1981 with Richard,
Karen, John Travolta and Olivia and aired in either October or November
1981). But the big part of that picture was that when they were
younger, neither Karen nor Olivia had had a slumber party or such
growing up, so they kind of made the best of it and had their first
pajama / slumber party together that night. I saw Karen in mid
June
1981 and she told me about it then as far as Tom not turning on the
pump and then the drive shaft breaking on the boat and the boat going
in circles for a little while until they had figured out what had
happened. But the picture was a special moment for Karen and
Olivia as
it was their first 'slumber / pajama party' so to speak while being 30
years old. In 1978 and 1979, Karen and I would joke once in a
while
about pillow fights and such and that was how I had known that Karen
had said she hadn't really had slumber / pajama parties when she was
younger. But for the record for those wondering, nope, Karen and
Olivia dated men only. As I stated that Karen said above, "I like
guy
parts not girl parts."
As far as all this hugging nonsense
with the
shrinks.
Honestly, how would you feel if you had always been there when your
daughter had been sick or wasn't feeling well or if your daughter was
having a problem and needed someone to talk to and then someone tries
to accuse you of not caring about your daughter? Hugs should be
heartfelt, not forced because of someone's whacked out idea that was
and is and will never be true. You didn't hug someone because you
had
a bunch of shady people hanging over your shoulder accusing you of
things that aren't true and it is all your fault that these people are
falsely accusing you of things that are not true. A bunch of
questionable individuals
accused Karen's mom, Agnes, of not caring about Karen because Agnes
didn't hug Karen on their command but the truth was that if Karen had
problems, Agnes would always be there to help Karen get through her
problems. The truth, people hug all the time and neither hugger
actually care about one another, so how did hugging get to be such an
issue? Warped ideas intended to try and cover up the truth that
the
shrinks were trying to say that the family was the cause of people
writing articles in tabloids and newpapers about Karen's body type
which is what in turn caused Karen to start trying to lose
weight.
Psychobabble. False assumptions all over the place on the part of
the
shrinks and not one apology from the shrinks for doing such a lousy job
throughout all of this. Not once did the shrinks ever work with
Karen
and her family, but the shrinks kept constantly falsely accusing the
family of stuff that was untrue while trying to say that the shrinks
were helpful despite Karen not getting any better and actually getting
worst under the care of the shrinks. Constantly. And it has
always
been the family's fault in the eyes of the shrinks, that the family got
falsely accused of not helping Karen when if it wasn't for the family
suggesting it in the first place, Karen would have never bothered with
the shrinks and all that psychobabble. Karen had love and
affection
from her mother but it wasn't in the form of a hug and Karen knew
that. So after Levenkron admitted Karen into his clinic in 1982
and
then Karen had to be hospitalized in September 1982 at 77
pounds, Karen was cured of anorexia by Levenkron, just ask him.
On the
other hand, in September 1982 Karen was admitted into Lennox Hill at 77
pounds and then her weight was brought up to 104 pounds when
Karen left the hospital in November 1982. Levenkron cured Karen,
just
ask him. Then after the hospital, Karen moved in with her parents
where Karen and her mother came up with an idea where Karen was only
allowed to weigh herself once a week (Friday) and
Karen's weight had appeared to stabilize as Karen passed away at her
parent's house on February 4, 1983 weighing 108 pounds because
Levenkron had cured Karen, just ask him. Because Karen's mom
didn't
hug Karen on command in front of a bunch of strangers that were
honestly very insulting trying to infer that because a mother did not
hug her grown up daughter when commanded to do so, the mom doesn't care
about the daughter. I am not lying about this, but others are,
aren't
they? Yes, insulting. Accusing someone of not caring about
someone
just because they won't hug someone around questionable individuals on
demand from those questionable individuals is an insult.
Honestly, if
someone doesn't care about someone they do not talk or be around that
someone. Think about it. Since when did Karen's mom, Agnes,
ever
refuse to talk to her daughter? If Agnes did not care about
someone,
Agnes would not talk or be around that someone. And case in
point,
would you care about someone that had just accused you of not caring
about your daughter because you didn't hug your daughter on command
from that 'stranger (yes, very strange indeed)'? Agnes and Karen
would
still talk. After being insulted many times, many times Agnes
would
start refusing to talk to the shrinks after Agnes had been falsely
accused many times about not caring about her daughter. And
honestly,
when around others, most people refer to me as Ace. When someone
tries
to insult me, others start insisting that the insulter may wish to
start showing some respect and start calling me, Mr. Downing.
From
there Mr. Downing may then become, Master Downing, and you can keep
digging your own grave from there, because honestly, you get insulting
towards me, I just ignore you and do not acknowledge that you
exist.
That's the way the cookie bounces and the ball crumbles. So
definitely
great advice of "if you don't have nothing nice to say, it is better to
say nothing at all". It works. But even better advice,
"Always let
someone know that you do not any longer wish to talk to someone and the
reason(s) why you no longer wish to talk to that someone." It
works
better. Like Karen and I used to say together, "We don't make
promises, but we say what we mean and mean what we say." That
works
even better. Promises can be broken, but words without meaning
become
meaningless words, promises included.
And as far as the anorexia
problem. Karen and I had actually figured out what was behind it,
but
we could never figure out why she had the arrhythmia (irregular
heartbeat) outside some possible birth defect that no one could
find.
As far as what caused the anorexia, it was kind of a two stage thing
with Karen. Karen actually was not dieting or such when she first
had
her collapse back in 1975 weighing about 91 pounds. We figured
out
that Karen couldn't perform or sleep on a full stomach. That was
the
first two triggers for Karen's anorexia. With the messy tour
schedule
from 1973 to 1975 (collapse September 1975) between performing,
sleeping and having time to eat so that Karen wasn't trying to perform
or eat on a full stomach, Karen started having problems between times
of eating, performing and sleeping as far as the hectic touring
schedule. If Karen ate before sleeping, she didn't sleep
well. With a
nervous stomach, Karen couldn't perform well with something in her
stomach. Karen's eating suffered a bit to try and do the
performing
and sleeping first and try and eat when time allowed. I think it
was
towards the end of 1975 or in 1976 when Karen started bulimia with
eating and then sticking her finger down her throat to empty her
stomach so she could either perform or sleep. The third part was
a bit
messy with Karen and involved a thought in Karen's head that started
back when Karen had started high school and Karen noticed that the guys
always asked out the skinny girls and because of that, Karen thought
that in order for a girl to be considered attractive (especially
publicly) a girl needed to be straight like a board and not
curvy. So
after the combined perform, sleep, eat mess would start, the attractive
because I am straight and not curvy part would kick in. There
wasn't
any 'control' issue or love issue or that kind of stuff and I was
around Karen while she was away from performing for a bit and I saw her
doing better as she didn't have that schedule conflict like with
touring and without the sleep, perform, eat cycle / problem, Karen was
keeping her weight fairly steady around 104 to 110 pounds without
having to skip meals because of sleeping or performing, but a couple
times the "I need to be straight like a board to be attractive" part
did kick in with her, but within a week, the straight like a board
thought would go away. And the trigger for that straight like a
board
was actually me a couple times as Karen thought I wasn't attracted to
her, and within a week after me noticing Karen seeming a bit odd, I
would remind Karen that I liked tomboys and mud pies and her, but I was
only 14 and I reminded Karen that because of my age, even with parental
consent, there would be a problem if something physical happened
between us because of others talking (by not touching, there wasn't
anything either of us were doing so to speak, so a rule of no physical
touching between us, as others had tried to accuse and others stuck up
for us because they knew Karen and I had a rule where we didn't
physically touch each other). Karen would sometimes think that I
didn't think she was attractive because I wasn't physical with her, as
at times Karen would forget that I was underaged which would be a whole
other problem there. When Karen started her solo album around
late
March, early April 1979 Karen weighed about 136 pounds I believe.
When
I last saw Karen for two years on June 22, 1979 Karen weighed 124
pounds I believe. When I saw Karen again on June 12, 1981 she
weighed
94 pounds again. By June 18, 1981 Karen was back up to around 110
pounds. But the cycle of perform on an empty stomach and sleep on
an
empty stomach and at times not being able to eat to keep her stomach
empty for performing and sleeping would trigger the problem to start
and then Karen feeling that in order to be considered attractive she
needed to be straight as a board might trigger in to keep her wanting
to keep her stomach empty. That was karen's anorexia. The
bulimia and
laxatives were to flush out her system so that her stomach was empty so
that she could sleep, perform or become that "cute little girl" image
without curves. Karen had these thoughts in her head and it was
Karen
that had these thoughts. All anyone had to do was ask Karen,
which I
did and she told me, but I still can't figure out why therapists and
such with big college degrees and all that weren't smart enough to just
ask and instead all these stinking stories and twisted tales and such
to try and make Karen fit this mold of an anorexic that Karen just
never fit. That mold worked for Cherry (Boone) O'Neill and others
like
her, but that mold wasn't Karen as Karen's situation was different than
Cherry's and others's situations. Karen couldn't sleep or perform
on a
full stomach. Why do I seem to be the only one that remembers
that
about Karen? And it was easy, I just said, "Why don't you eat?"
and
Karen said, "I can't perform or sleep on a full stomach, so I don't eat
at least three hours before a show or three hours before bedtime." (I
think she said three but it could have been two or four even).
And
remember too, don't eat at least an hour before you go swimming
either...
LIV. Recalling about
Karen's hair dresser and the "Dragon
Lady"
First, the story Karen told
me about "The Dragon Lady". Karen had started babysitting a
neighbor boy by the name of Jason and Karen would tell him
stories. One of the stories that Karen told the most was a story
Karen called "The Dragon Lady". The Dragon Lady was a fierce and
protective dragon that was nearly invulnerable (invincible?) except for
her warm, tender heart. Karen told me that she had wished she had
wrote those stories down as they were good stories that Karen just made
up and Karen would tell variations of "The Dragon Lady" story
("The Dragon Lady Saves LA" and "The Dragon Lady Visits New York" and
like that) to Jason
with different plots and such but always the same theme of the fierce
and protective Dragon Lady with the warm and tender heart. And
yes, the thought behind the story was based on Agnes, Karen's
mom. And yes too, to hide who some were talking about, they would
refer to Agnes as 'The Dragon Lady'.
And Karen also told me
about 'the hair dresser'
incident.
Karen said she had found out that her hair dresser was having sex with
her brother by accident. Karen talked to her hair dresser,
without
letting her hair dresser know that Karen knew about her and her
brother, and realized that her hair dresser didn't really know anything
personal about her brother. Karen got suspicious and checked
around.
Karen found out that her hair dresser had a little history of trying to
go after guys for their money. As Karen said, "She's a gold
digger".
Karen said that she honestly had hoped for her brother Richard to meet
someone and fall in love and such but being on the road and such made
it difficult to have a lasting relationship. As Karen said,
"Falling
in love is getting to know someone and it was obvious that my hair
dresser didn't have the first clue about anything personal with my
brother except his bank account had seven figures." Karen
also told me that the hair dresser had
told Karen that Richard was a big boy now and Karen should butt out of
it and mind her own business. Karen said if it hadn't been for
the
"butt out of it and mind your own business" comment, Karen would have
probably just told her brother to wear a condom because there were
already too many gold diggers in the world as it was and left it at
that. And I was like, "What if the condom
broke?" And Karen was
like, "I hadn't thought of that" and Karen chuckled a little and said,
"I've had that happen a couple times myself. Good point
there. I was also so wrapped up in battling
the two headed dragon lady
that I forgot to ask Richard if he had feelings for her. We can
all
make mistakes I guess. Me and my mother
came up with the nickname two headed dragon lady because I was
babysitting a neighbor boy named Jason off and on at the time and we
didn't want him knowing who we were talking about. Jason was only
about 5 years old at the time and you know how kids repeat
things. Jason had the prettiest deep blue eyes and him and I
became pals. You and Jason are about the same age but your eyes
are a pale blue and his eyes are a deep blue. Jason's mother had
passed away and he was living with his grandparents around the corner
so Jason and I talked about all kinds of stuff and we had a lot of fun
together. Jason was so full of energy and always seemed excited
to see me every time. I never quite knew what to say to him about
losing his mother because my mother was still around, but I did what I
could to try and help him feel better. Jason was feeling kind of
lonely and I was too so we both hit it off and became pals. And
of course Richard
and I went back out on tour and I lost contact with Jason after
that. [I'm not positive but I think Karen said that Jason and his
grandparents moved away from the cul de sac.]" But
anyway, Karen felt that her hair dresser's
comments were a type of
challenge, and Karen loves a challenge. So
Karen told mom about "the floozy" and both Karen and
mom
had a talk with Richard about it. Richard stopped seeing the hair
dresser because he knew it upset his sister and his mother.
Another
truth, Richard made a wise choice and many years later met Mary Rudolph.
Well, actually they met before then, but like Karen and I, there were
probems, just different problems. Mary Rudolph was an adopted
first
cousin, but we all know how certain individuals like to try and twist
the truth. Yes, adopted, not an actual first cousin.
Richard and Mary took a blood test together as an extra precaution and
there was no way that they could have passed that blood test if they
had been actual first cousins. The truth.
Richard has always been a caring and kind person and Mary Rudolph is a
caring and kind person too. Honestly, if you do actually care
about
someone, you don't usually care too much about their bank account
numbers and you are more concerned about how they are feeling and their
interests and such. Honest too, read this page about Karen
Carpenter,
I should know, right? Wrong?
Both? Well? Honestly, Karen was not a complex
person. People saying things that aren't true about Karen is what
has
made things complicated. Karen simply tried to care about everyone
and help others learn to care about themselves and others by setting a
good example for others to follow, and we all
make mistakes too including Karen.
How complicated is that? OK, for those of you who don't care
about yourself or others I guess you can't understand this, but I
tried. Karen tried too. And honestly, Karen enjoyed
listening to what others had to say and she was not one for putting
words in other people's mouths. Some follow her example and are a
joy to talk to like Karen was. And then there are others...
LV. Searching for
answers about Karen
Unreliable sources have
many stories. Karen's diaries hold many truths. Information
from Phil
Ramone, Karen 'Itchie' Ramone (good nickname, makes your skin crawl,
itchy), Tom Burris (note here, Thomas Burris wished people to call him
Thomas because it was his proper name and sounded more distinctive I
guess, and after the stuff Tom pulled on Karen during the marriage and
divorce, I prefer to use Tom Burris actually so that hopefully his
wishes don't come true. But then too, you don't teach people not
to be mean to others by being mean yourself. With that being
said, I apologize), and psychiatrists, psychologists and
therapists
abound in Karen Carpenter stories. The truth about Karen abounds
in
Karen's own diaries. Honestly, the sensational stories do not
match the
truth.
As far as those that
have been led to believe that Karen made her solo album because she was
wishing to leave Richard and go on her own... Honestly, Richard
was the
one behind Karen's solo album. Karen said this to me, "If it
hadn't
been for Richard suggesting that I do a solo album, I never would have
done it. Richard and I have always worked well together and the
thought
never crossed my mind until Richard mentioned it. And because
Richard
mentioned it, I did it. I wouldn't have done it otherwise because
I
have always loved working with my brother and I still always wish to do
so. That is why I dedicated the album to my brother Richard."
Karen's manager, Jerry Weintraub, was the one that came up
with the idea. But in all honesty, Karen was hoping that Richard
would
say no to the idea because Karen was busy being a school teacher.
And even more honestly, Karen and Richard didn't have to break up the
band to go solo. I am not sure where the nonsense started, but
seriously, Karen and Richard could do things on their own if they
wished. No big deal. Others tried to make a big deal out of
Karen doing a solo project. And truthfully, after the solo
project, Karen and Richard did a Carpenters album that didn't sell too
well, but still sold somewhat. And I know Karen was NOT
distraught or such over her solo album not being released. Karen
could not go public with the reason why, but Karen knew why and was the
one behind the decision to shelve the album as well as Alpert and Moss
too and her brother Richard wanting it shelved as well. If you
notice, you really don't see too much talk about Karen's solo album
back when it was being done. If Karen was really wanting her
album released and such, she would have not been silent about the album
existing. There was a possibility of bad press if the album got
released and Karen was very aware of that. The bad press was
actually not about music content or quality or such, but bad press
about Karen, herself. The album got shelved as Phil and Itchie
Ramone had a LONG track record of trashing artists in the tabloids when
something was being released to try and garner free publicity for the
release. Karen's solo album did not get released and was kind of
put out to pasture. And really, if there is a possible scandal,
honestly, only an idiot would even suggest such a thing because then
people are going to ask, what is this scandal?
So shelved. One track redone in 1983, several tracks
redone in 1989. No scandal or really bad press. No
tabloids. Kept quiet. Karen's
solo album released quietly in 1996.
And the truth seems to
be that Karen had a lot of great times around "the folks (mom and
dad)", her brother Richard Carpenter, Cubby O'Brien, Patti Carpenter,
Paul Williams, and many
others but the ones that appear to be the most vocal are the ones that
want to say horrible things about the people that Karen Carpenter cared
the most about while these horrible people are trying to pretend they
were Karen's friends. Honestly, I knew Karen Carpenter personally
and I
can honestly say that she knew who her real friends were and Karen was
picked on when she was younger because she had reddish eyes and hair
and some
kids would call her 'Evil Karen'. I am very proud of Karen's true
friends because in Karen's true self, it is bad for people to pick on
me so it is bad for me to pick on others. I am proud because
Karen's
true friends remember Karen for what a truly great person she was to be
around and the impact she had on others to be better and caring people
themselves. You do not become a better person by trying to blame
and
berate others, but you become a better person by setting a better
example for others to follow. The actual Karen Carpenter was such
a
person to try and set a better example for others to follow. Have
you ever noticed that the ones that appear to be the most vocal about
Karen are also the ones that appear to be the ones that keep trying to
blame others other than themselves and appear to be the ones to have
the most to hide when it comes to truths about Karen? Also, have
you noticed that the ones that appear to be the least vocal are also
the ones that do not blame others but also do not appear to have
something to hide? Something to think about.
Maybe try something different - honesty perhaps? Just a thought.
LVI. In conclusion
(September 1978 to June 1979)
What came of this : Well, I
forgot about this stuff for quite a while, but it was actually stuff
that helped fill in a bunch of blanks that happened over the
years. February 23, 1980, my family moved from 265 East Third
Street in Corning to 8 Garden Street in South Corning. I can't
remember if Karen may have had our old address or not. I
did have a keepsake from Karen. For Christmas 1978, Karen
did the Carpenters' Christmas Special and the video has Karen putting a
present into the mailbox while singing "Merry Christmas Darling". The
original 1970 version of that video had Karen putting a wrapped pen
& pencil set for her father in the mailbox. My
present was a calligraphy fountain pen with an ink cartridge in the
same wrapping.
Karen asked me to watch the special on TV, which I did, but I watched
it on my Emerson 13" black and white TV in my room. And the
'did have' was because I still am not sure what happened to the pen
after we moved in 1980. Also, at
the time, I was getting asked not to say a word
about my unique tooth to anyone. And on top of that, I had a
teacher that became a very close friend that had her secrets too.
I don't ever remember bringing up my tooth in any of our conversations,
but I definitely didn't want either Karen or myself to be bombarded by
a bunch of people. So I talked a lot, but I still kept my
secrets, just like Karen did. Sharing is definitely a wonderful
thing.
Where : Mr. Swanson's Math Classes, Corning Free Academy,
Corning, NY
Who : Thee Ace Man
What happened : Actually at times in grammar school I would
get extra
credit on tests and quizzes usually for pointing out faulty directions
on tests (or sometimes making suggestions for improvements in the
tests). So, to me, aceing a test is where a test seems inferior
to the test taker and needs to be redone. Scores on quizzes of 11
/ 10, and tests of 105 / 100 were not common for anyone (and still
aren't), but I seemed to have a lot of these type scores from grammar
school (Severn Elementary) and middle school (Corning Free
Academy). I am pretty sure that my eighth grade math class had
the most 11 / 10 and 105 / 100 scores of all the classes I've
taken. My math teacher was actually a good teacher, it was just
that a few times he got in a hurry and didn't realize he had forgotten
something on the test or quiz. One quiz that stands out was a
quiz where Mr. Swanson put the problem Y = X + 5 and the direction,
Solve for Y, but I was the only one in any of the classes that put "as
the problem stands, it could be any number for X and Y so long as the
relationship with the equation stands, however, if we are to assume
that Y approaches zero then the answer would be X = -5). Yeah,
Mr. Swanson just forgot to put the Y --> 0 under the equal signs in
the equation was all when he printed off the tests in a hurry.
What came of this : Kind of screwy, but people seem to think
getting 10
/ 10 or 100 / 100 or even 110 / 110 is aceing a test. No, a 11 /
10 or a 105 / 100 is aceing a test. There's a difference.
100 / 100 or 110 / 110 is 'perfect'. 105 / 100 or 11 / 10 is
'aced'. Thee Ace Man should know, right?
Who : Sir Nicholas Boehr (note, I have seen his last name
spelled Boer,
Bohr, Bohrer, and Boehr and I'm not sure which spelling is correct)
What happened : I
did get to meet a famous brainiac’s roommate
towards the end eighth grade. Near the end of the year, a test
was
given out to see if someone could figure out a calculus problem without
knowing the rule from calculus. There were some that had solved
the problem, but they had been ones who had been taught or seen how to
solve this problem. I was never taught the rule and my teacher
Mr. Swanson
knew this. But to solve the problem required knowing the power
chain rule from calculus, which some had learned or been taught
previously, but I hadn’t. My math teacher told me explicitly to
show all my work on this test and to take as long as I needed, even
into my next classes. Me, Ace, take longer than five minutes on a
test. I took this test and I factored the problem the wrong
way. The problem was a perfect cube and I had broken it down into
a square instead of a cube. But wait, it took someone supposedly
20 years to learn how to factor a problem like this at all and I had
figured out this rule in 6 months… Yeah, wow. Praise me
some more. Who am I to argue with how “great” I am? But
yeah, I got to meet the roommate of the
guy that figured the power chain rule and calculus as well as “The
Universal Theory” not the “Theory of Relativity”. Well, actually
not 'roommate', but Albert lived in the guest house of Nick's for the
last part of Albert's life. So for math
class I got to hear stories and it was odd but the roommate seemed to
be more interested in meeting me. Very odd.
But Albert
Einstein’s
roommate was telling me stories about his famous genius roommate, who
would have his glasses already on, yet run around frantic
searching for his glasses that were already on his face. Albert’s
roommate said he would just take Albert’s glasses off then put them
back on Albert’s face again. Then Albert would say, “Oh, there
they are. Thanks Nick.” Then Albert would get back to work
again. Been quite a while, but I believe his first name was
Nicholas (Sir Nicholas actually, but Albert, myself and his immediate
family and superiors were allowed to call him “Nick” in private.
In public it
was always to be Sir Nicholas. And actually Sir Nicholas told me
that he was picked on because he had won an award for approximating pi
using a million-sided polygon but others had thought Nick’s famous
roommate had done the work and Nick took credit for it. Truth was
that Nick had thought about and did this problem on his own with only
encouragement from Albert. Some people.), and I know I picked on
Nick about his last name which he seemed to take in stride. So
Albert’s roommate was the founder of boredom, and started The Boring
Wars but odd, he didn’t seem so boring really.
Stuff happens I guess. You can’t change what others think or
believe no matter how hard you try. I know the feeling
“Ace”.
Nick
also mentioned Canterbury
to me, but I am not sure of what Nick actually said in regards to
Canterbury anymore, just that Nick mentioned Canterbury. Actually, I think Nick told me about
him being the first assistant to the Archdeacon of Canterbury and that
Nick had placed a 'gag order' aka 'order of suppression' on me back in
1973 after the "Christ in
Christmas" incident. The gag order did not apply to 'local'
stuff, only national and international news. I believe also that
Nick told me about a recent incident where someone had tried to get a
story out about me and the story was 'quelched' or 'not printed'
because of the gag order. I also believe that Nick talked about
meeting with Phil Ramone and shaking Phil's hand. Nick commented
that there was so much hair oil on Phil's hand, that Phil's hand was
slimey and Phil reminded Nick of a 'snake oil salesman' anyway. I
also think that Nick told me that Nick told Phil that if Phil tried to
have another story printed about me that any of those stories would be
'sleeping with the fishes' so to speak. I believe the story was
written by Phil's future wife, Karen Itec or Itchie Ramone or
whatever. Also, I
believe Nick told
me that he left one of his cards with my other teacher, Karen, just in
case she had any problems with Phil (extortion or whatever). I
believe Nick also commented about Karen and I and that Nick could see
that Karen and I were a lot alike and could see where there would be a
bit of an attraction there between us. Nick also said, "I
remember the last time we talked and you were only knee high to a
grasshopper. You've grown a little since then I see."
But
anyway, Albert’s
roommate also
mentioned
that Albert referred to his work as “The Universal Theory” and never as
“The Theory of Relativity”. And we also talked about how Albert
combined other people’s ideas and theories into his theory and Albert
did not see his theory as being anything more than linking a series of
math problems. We also talked about the space continuum and
Albert’s roommate said that Albert did not believe in his own theory
but Albert used to get a laugh out of some people that took his theory
so seriously. But not
mentioned between us but the prevailing
thought was that if you go faster than the speed of light that time
reverses itself. But what about ultra violet and alpha, beta, or
gamma particles which travel faster than the speed of light? How
could such a thing exist and be measured? Precisely, but no one
ever seemed to catch on (outside myself, Nick and Albert). But
Albert's theory
pertained to the speed of light squared, not just the speed of light,
so who's to know? Albert’s roommate also reflected about
Albert’s fascination with studying the properties of light. You
can see light. Feel warmth from light. But just try to
catch some light in your hand. Reflecting.
Refracting. Redirecting. Pretty cool talk, huh.
But
then the conversation started turning and Nick said something like,
“You’re not like my roommate.” And I said
something like, “Yeah, you got that right.” He said his roommate
was very conscientious about his work and when he found out that his
work was being used to make weapons, it mentally devastated Albert and
Albert became reclusive and withdrawn. I said something like,
“Blowing up people, cool, decrease the surplus population.” And
he said something like, “That’s what I mean, you have a dark side to
you that Albert never had. Albert cared a lot about people and
you don’t.”
Then Nick started saying some
stuff to me that
made sense. And then Nick went from talking about Albert to
talking about me and some things that Nick had read about me.
These things were written in a book by Edgar Cayce, who had become a
recluse himself after some scientists had pulled out his fingernails
while he was in a trance. And when he was brought out of the
trance… Ouch! But Edgar, who wrote this book, had
done some amazing things. He had helped people get better simply
by telling them what was wrong over the phone, and giving directions
where to find the medicine in a house he had never visited many miles
away. Nick also talked about how he,
himself, was kind of fascinated with prophecies and had met many people
over the years because of Einstein. But his famous
roommate believed in whatever happens, happens, blind fate. Nick
was fascinated because what he had read about me were some
prophecies and it was the only prophecies he had read that might have
two paths. He noted the one path as peace and prosperity while
the other path led to darkness and despair. And all this little
eighth grader’s fault no doubt. But, anyway, because the prophecy
dealt with a certain specific personal characteristic that no one else
has, my double-nerved upper left bicuspid, I must be the one that these
prophecies are about and portend
towards. Nick also said I may do wonderful things in
about 20, no wait, 30 years and develop a new type of mathematics and
many other things. He also said something like, “You’ll be the
youngest, oops, wait, not that, that was Mark, but you’ll be the first
to win the prize in three categories, maybe four. Scratch the
fourth. You get nominated for it but never rule a country.
You’ll possibly start a new world order. Or possibly not.
The prophecy goes two ways. If you do the book, but if not, then
the dark side and mankind will suffer for a thousand years or
more. I think you’ll do the right thing when the time comes but
who knows. Hopefully you’re still around.” But he also said
that it would be a book that
would even outsell the Holy Bible and net me an unheard of (back in
1979 anyway) ten cents a copy for each book sold in many different
languages and many different countries. He also said that two
companies reject it before the third accepts. He also stated that
I start a new process for publishing and writing that becomes very
popular when he mentioned the ten cents a copy stuff. He also
added that
the original handwritten manuscripts end up in a museum but never get
displayed and also a near perpetual motion engine. Supposedly the
engine and papers burn up in a fire started by a bumbling night
watchman and a kerosene or gas lantern. He also said that he
doesn’t want to interfere with fate
too much so he tried to avoid being too specific about certain things
he had read in this book of prophecy. He also said that if he
told me what happens to me after I write the book that I probably would
not write the book.
Nick
also sidetracked a little saying that my surroundings (where I lived
and how I lived) were very basic. Then Nick kind of debated with
himself for a short bit in front of me. It went like this, "I had
thought about adopting you but I got thinking about the prophesies and
how you're supposed to come out of nowhere in about thirty years or
so. You have so much potential and it seems like a waste to have
someone with your talent in such meager surroundings. I don't
have an heir. But with my title and such, I could introduce you
to a world that is so much more. But according to the prophesies
it is meant to be this way, so I decided against adoption. What
is to be is to be. I shouldn't tempt fate because
who knows for sure. It is what it is."
Also, forgot, I took
the IQ test in seventh
grade english class. The test got thrown out and they go to
multiple choice tests afterwards instead of fill in the blank.
The directions were faulty and I really made it apparent that I didn’t
like the test. I don’t think that the ones that designed that IQ
test considered themselves “a**holes”, but Albert’s roommate kind of
discussed what happened afterwards with me, but this talk was about a
year after taking the IQ test and went something like: The test
was thrown out and the one who wanted
“fill in the blank” instead of “multiple choice” took offense of what
you wrote about him” or
something like that. Note, I wrote "a**hole" on the test, so I
understood what he meant. So others on the committee for the IQ
test
that didn’t like this “cocky, pompous, overbearing windbag” agreed that
only an a**hole could have designed such a faulted test and the name
apparently stuck. Nick never said the word, a**hole, throughout
the conversation. The format got changed and the committee in
charge of the test got to chortle someone they weren’t too fond of
anyway. Such is life. “Answers on the following page”
indeed. Should have been labeled “the following page” with a
heading of “the following page” like I had wrote in… I missed
five (119) but I couldn’t resist. A tree (not werewolf) barks at
the moon… A red (not tandem) bicycle… It was obvious that I
had pulled the answers out of nowhere for the entire test, but I only
missed five (and I used to know all five because I was really being
silly to use such answers, but they evade me now…).
Nick also
stated that he had personally asked people to keep quiet about me and
my tooth just in case someone might find out and want to change
history. And
then Nick
mentioned that he felt a
little awkward because when his famous roommate passed away that Nick
was not appointed as Albert's replacement for the "world's
smartest". Nick didn't feel bad about it because there were many
other people he could think of that were as smart or maybe even smarter
than him, but to have Stephen Hawking win the title was a bit hard to
swallow
for anyone (overbearing, pompous, windbag that he is).
Then Nick
told me that Albert had given Nick an unofficial title of "World's
Smarter" and that Albert figured Nick would not get the "World's
Smartest" title. Albert always felt that no matter how smart you
think you are, you can always figure out a way to be smarter.
Learning is an ever evolving process. And before leaving, Nick
wished to share the unofficial title of World's Smarter with me.
And Nick said, "It means nothing really, but I'd like to share the
World's Smarter title with you." Don't know if Nick shared the
title with others or told the World's Smarter story to others but stuff
happens.
Then
I said something like, “Nice to meet you”, and he said
something like, “No, no, the pleasure’s been all mine. I got to
meet you.” Then Nick left and I went back to class. Very
nice person but
really weird that someone would travel to meet me because of a math
test extra credit question. Oh well. I like weird stuff and
I got to get out of class for a while too. I know; I’m
famous. I mean my name is Ace and people try to compare others
with me all of the time, but who else can “ace” a test like Ace,
himself. Julie is so cool for finding that nickname for me.
It fits so well. And
this leads to the Dalai Lama next...
What came of this : I recieved
the unofficial title of "World's
Smarter" and I found out about the IQ test being changed. I also
learned about Edgar Cayce and something about that odd tooth of mine, my double-nerved upper left bicuspid, that Dr. Robert Wylie seemed so
nervous about finding in my mouth in 1976. I also heard a bunch
of cool stuff about Albert Einstein too.
Where : Dennison Park Babe Ruth Field, Corning, NY
Who : Lester Dann
What happened : During baseball practice for the Elks in the
Babe Ruth
league, Keith Dailey was having a rough time at batting practice and I
was just lobbing the balls in as usual. I kinda faked it a bit
and said I was spinning the ball, but I wasn't really. Lester
Dann, the coach, said stop throwing so hard and I said, "Trust me, I'm
not throwing hard, why, do you want me to?" or something like that and
I'm pretty sure Lester said, "Yeah, go ahead". Then Lester turned
around talking to someone else and I just let one rip. Keith
swung with all his might and his helmet fell off and he wasn't even
close to hitting the ball. Problem was there wasn't a catcher and
the ball was nowhere to be found. So we grabbed another ball and
continued practice with Lester saying, "I didn't see nothing."
About three days later I ran across Brian Bavisoto and Ron McAuliffe at
the field with a baseball. I don't remember asking or such but
Brian said, "We found a hole in the dirt behind home plate and we
thought there was a woodchuck or something in there. We couldn't
reach down in the hole so it must have been over three feet deep.
Next we dug down in the mound and found this baseball about three feet
back." Yeah, anyway, riddle solved where the practice ball ended
up from three days ago. Through the chain link backstop and over
three feet into the dirt mound used to fix the field behind home
plate. It wasn't a game, but this was the last time I actually
threw my fastball.
Where : I believe Corning Free Academy but not really sure if
it may
have been a field trip, Corning, NY
Who : the former and current Dalai Lamas (13 & 14), Karen
Carpenter
What happened : Before an assembly, I
was
escorted backstage and met
with both the Dalai Lama and his soon to be replacement (the current
Dalai Lama). The former Dalai Lama didn't speak much english so
the current Dalai Lama did the talking. The one that escorted me
was
Karen Carpenter. On the way to the steps, Karen licked her thumb
and
wiped my cheek and said, "You had some dirt on you." I was like,
"Yuck, my mom does that." And Karen was like, "Sorry, I'm just
nervous. Remember to ask about soul mates." And I was like,
"OK."
There were several others in front of us and the assembly was about to
begin so everyone was getting rushed through. I was the last one
in
line. The current Dalai Lama said, "Hello Dolly." And then
the
current Dalai Lama winked at me. Then the current Dalai Lama
said,
"You are only allowed to ask one question of me, but first I need to
ask you a question. Was Sir Nicholas upset that he did not get
the
title of World's Smartest?" I said something like, "He's not
upset he didn't win, there were a few others that Sir Nicholas felt may
have been smarter than him, but why Stephen Hawking?" or something to
that
effect. The former Dalai Lama motioned his arms to the current
Dalai Lama to hurry up. The current
Dalai Lama told me, "When Albert Einstein died there were many people
possible, but no one really stood out from the rest. Sir
Nicholas'
name was
definitely brought up, but the people that decide could not give a
consensus to Sir Nicholas because there were doubts. They tried
several others but still could not gain a consensus with anyone because
no one at the time really stood out above the rest like Albert
Einstein or Charles Darwin had done. It was only when the
committee asked the question, Who would be least likely to stand
against the others? (or something to that
effect and definitely a pun with the word 'stand' as Dr. Hawking was in
a
wheelchair at the time) and then they could agree on Dr. Stephen
Hawking." Hawking
won not because he was smartest, but more because he was least likely
of
the bunch to "rock the boat" so to speak unlike what Albert and Charles
had
done before. Stability. Karen said,
"Well, that was a loss of a hundred and twenty-five
bucks down the drain." towards the end. Then the 14th Dalai
Lama also said something like, "Like I said, you may ask only one
question, but Karen why do you wish to waste your
money to ask a question when you already know
that the answer to that question is yes? I
was unable to read him, so I played a trick on you Karen. I made
you think that he had dirt on his face so that you would touch him, and
after you touched him, I was able to read him through you. He has
a block on him so I can not read him directly. Very
unusual. But I hope that you forgive me for my trick, O
(yes, a translation error as I know the Dalai Lama wished to say
Enlightened but that word eluded him at the time)
Divine
One, I did not realize it was you Buddha. And may I congratulate
the happy couple and wish you
much happiness. I
must go now. Thank you." And
the Dalai Lama winked again. After all, the Dalai Lama said "ask
only
one question" but he did not say that he could not give more than one
answer. As the 14th Dalai Lama stated
about himself, the ultimate trickster. I
said, "Thank
you your Holiness." And I believe Karen said, "Thank you again
your Holiness. I should know better by now." or something like
that
with a big smile on her face. The Dalai
Lama
had a card which
read "The meaning of life in one word, duty." I also believe that
this
was at Corning Free Academy because of the curtain and stage setup, but
not
totally sure. And then the Dalai Lamas went on
stage and Karen and I left.
What came of this : Well, I figured
something was
up with Hawking as
World's Smartest. Now I know. And Karen did touch her soul
mate once by licking her thumb and wiping my cheek.
Where : Corning - Painted Post East High School, Mr. Lane's
Earth
Science Class (room 403), Corning, NY
Who : the Crowned Prince of Morocco
What happened : A person came into our class because he
needed to do a
makeup class. He was dressed in a suit and sat in the front row
near the door. Near the end of the class he said to me, "I
noticed a lot of people ask you questions and advice and I was
wondering if you could help me with something?" I said, "I don't
know but I can try. What is it?" And he started talking, "I
figure everybody knows anyway even though people are asked to keep who
I am a secret from others. I use my mother's maiden name, Farah,
but I
think everybody knows anyway that I am the Prince of Morocco. I
have talked to other teachers about my problem, but they do not seem to
give me advice about this. What I was wondering is if you could
help me with this?" I said, "Probably, what is the
problem?" And then he said, "I saw my father taking a bribe and I
can't believe my father is corrupt and would take a bribe, but I saw
him take a bribe. I saw my father in his room with the other
people and I saw him accept a suitcase full of money and then they
signed a contract. My country has poor people and I can't believe
that my father would take a bribe when my people are so poor." My
response was, "Have you talked to your father about this? How do
you know that he took a bribe, maybe he accepted money to help the poor
people in your country. You probably need to talk to your father
about this." He then said, "I can't talk to my father about
this. He is king and he would not like me saying such things to
him. I know it was a bribe. I know I saw my father taking a
bribe. I don't want to be king if I am going to be
corrupt." I then said, "How do you know for sure your father took
a bribe. Bribe is a pretty strong word. Maybe
your father accepted the money to help the poor people in your
country. You should talk to your father
about this as he is the one who knows what happened. He is your
father and king and someday you will be king too. Your father
knows, ask him. He will understand. You seem like a very
kind and caring person and you care very much
about your people and your kingdom which is very good. Your
father is king now and he makes his own rules, just as someday you will
be king and you will rule your kingdom and make your own rules
too. Who better to rule your kingdom, when your time comes, than
a kind and caring person such as you? And remember that no matter
how nice your kingdom may become that someone will always have the
unpleasant job of cleaning the toilets." And then the prince
said, "I can see why many people talk to you. You talk to me like
I am a person, not like a prince. Thank you." And class
ended and we both left the classroom.
What came of this : We all have our crosses to bear I
guess. But
you'll have to skip ahead to August 8, 2000 for the next part of this.
Where : Corning - Painted Post East High School, Corning, NY
Who : Doctor (Donald / Ronald?) Darling
What happened : I needed a physical done to get 'working
papers' to
work at a local furniture store. I was 15 at the time and the New
York State laws required it, so I went into the school and got a
physical. The doctor that was there was my original doctor, Doc
Darling. Doc was in a thoughtful mood this time and recognized
his handiwork on my belly button. When I was young, like about 3
months old, Doc found that I had a ventral hernia and the operation
usually involved removing the belly button and then leaving a hole
there which required a 'belly band'. Doc had read about a new
type of surgery called 'skin grafting' and tried that and it
worked. I didn't need a belly band. But I did good on the
physical and Doc was in a reflective mood and started talking to me
because I was older now and could understand more. Doc told me
about when I was born and how, at the time, Doc was kind of wondering
if he had made the right choice about becoming a doctor instead of
something else. December 4, 1964 was when Doc realized that
he made the right choice. They wheeled my mother into the
delivery room and she was having labor pains and contractions.
Doc noticed something else. The baby was in the breach position
and needed to be moved around. The correct medical procedure was
to reach in and rotate the child to the normal position to avoid the
umbilical cord from possibly wrapping around the baby's neck during
birth. Although the breach position was a definite problem, there
was another problem as well. My mother's hymen was not
broken. My mother was a virgin with child. As Doc said,
"Every text book ever written says explicitly to move the baby out of
the breach position before birth to avoid possible strangulation with
the umbilical cord. I had to make a decision. It was not an
easy decision to make and went against every text book in the medical
profession." Doc said he decided to let the birth occur as
naturally as possible and as a breach birth. I believe Doc said
that the sac had already broke, but the fluid was still trapped and
after my mother had her third contraction and had dilated to about 5 or
6 cm, the hymen broke and the amniotic fluid came out then one of my
feet popped out and Doc grabbed my foot and pulled me out as quickly as
possible figuring that if the cord had wrapped around my neck that he
could still quickly cut the cord if needed. The cord hadn't
wrapped around my neck. The birth was fine, kind of. The
placenta (afterbirth) was a deep blue color which meant that it had
been disconnected from the uterus for a bit before it came out. I
probably came out at just the right time when I was born. My
mother had told me that I was 10 months instead of the normal 9 months
when I was younger. Doc told me that after I came out that he
grabbed me by my feet and he could tell my mother was upset and saying
something, but Doc couldn't make out what she was saying. So Doc
patted my feet and then when Doc turned sideways to hand me over to the
nurse, Doc smacked me good on my bottom to make sure I cried and I was
alright. I found out from my mother that my mother was trying to
say, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, he'll probably knock you on
your ass." or something like that. Doc
said, "When I presented the birth certificate to your father, I knew
your father was a good man, because he did not hesitate to sign
it. I have always had great respect for your father since
then. He may yell a lot, but he is still a good man and I respect
that. And I thought to myself, if I was in your father's shoes, I
don't think I could have done what he did and signed that birth
certificate." Doc also said, "I witnessed something that had not
happened in nearly 2000 years on that day. Something I never
thought
possible had I not seen it with my own eyes." Doc was honestly
not a religious man or such nor did he become any more or less
religious after this. Doc also said that three religious people
came in to witness my birth and when they entered Doc thought to
himself, "If these are the three wise men, then we're in big trouble."
but he didn't say it out loud, he just thought it. Supposedly my
birth was to be entered into the 'Book of Miracles' that the church
kept somewhere, but I am not sure if the entry was ever made, let alone
if such a book actually exists. But after this, Doc realized that
he had
made the right choice becoming a doctor on December 4, 1964 when I was
born. Doc was like, "Sometimes you just have to trust and go with
your
instincts, and on that day, my instincts told me that I had made the
right choice becoming a doctor instead of a lawyer or such."
Also, Doc Darling was asked to perform a circumcision on me when I was
7 days old, which he thought was a bit odd, but he did it. Doc
told me, "I was asked to keep quiet about all of this as you can
imagine, which I have. But at this time I feel myself getting
older and my own mortality setting in and I feel you are old enough to
know and understand. I was glad that I was the one that was there
when your mother needed me and glad that I had decided to become a
doctor. I recognize you by your belly button and I always think
back to the day you were born and not really about your belly button
surgery that I did. Before the day you were born, I had always
wondered if I had made the right choice becoming a doctor. After
you were born, I didn't wonder any more and I knew I had made the
choice that was right for me just like some day you'll make your own
choices too, and like me, I hope you make the right choices for
yourself as
well. But maybe it's all decided for us anyway. Who
knows? Life is full of surprises. You just never
know." I think that Doc died in 1991, but
not sure on that.
Where : Corning - Painted Post West High School, Painted
Post, NY
Who : Julie Sage, Karen Stirpe
What happened : It was honestly my last day of four weeks at
'the other
high school'. Earlier in the day, a guy had tried to butt in
front of me to go up the stairs inbetween classes. I just grabbed
the guy and slammed him hard up against the wall by his shirt and I
said, "Don't ever try that again." And I walked away. Later
on, after school was out, I went to my locker to clean it out as I was
going to be going back to my old high school, East High. While
cleaning out my locker someone tapped me on the shoulder. I
thought it was the guy I slammed against the wall earlier and so I
turned around with my fist held high and then I saw Julie standing
there with her friend Karen and I just kept my fist up, looking to make
sure the other guy wasn't sneaking up somewhere. Karen just
grabbed Julie and said, "Let's go." And Karen and Julie walked
away. I grabbed my stuff and then proceeded to walk about seven
miles home because my teachers and such had held me over so I missed
the bus home.
Who : Joseph Comfort, Larry Comfort, Police Chief Richard
Faulisi
What happened : Anyway, from someone that was in the pickup
truck that
pulled over along Cohocton Street as the event unfolded... The Comfort
Corvette pulled into the wash bay at Prisella's Car Wash and the
unmarked police car pulled up behind and stopped about two feet from
the Corvette bumper but did not hit the Corvette. After pulling up
behind, the two undercover officers got out of the vehicle one in the
passenger side, and the other behind the driver side door. Guns were
drawn by both undercover officers, and the one officer yelled out
"Free" and before he could get the words "Freeze Police" out, two shots
were fired through the back window of the Corvette. The first striking
the undercover officer on the passenger side, the second striking the
undercover officer who was behind the driver's door of the undercover
car. Both officers were in "street clothes" and were not recognizable
as officers (unless you saw them from behind like I did and realized
why they call cops 'flat foots" because when a cop draws a gun, they
brace themselves with 'feet flat on the ground as trained to do'). The
one on the passenger side rolled on top of the vehicle grabbing his
head and rolling back and forth and the one behind the driver's side
door was just slumped over and motionless. Just after the shooting,
Police Chief Richard Faulisi came around the alley side of the car wash
in a marked car with the light on and yelling out the window, "Don't
move, those were cops you just shot." And I heard Joe Comfort say
"They're not cops." And then police chief Faulisi drove around to the
undercover car and reached in on the car's dash and turned on the red
'undercover' cop strobe light on the dash. And then Joe Comfort said,
"Oh sh!t." And then another police car showed up and Joe and Larry were
arrested while Chief Faulisi seeing that I was about 16 years old at
the time, looked inside the pickup truck and said to me, "You didn't
see nothing did you, just say no because you don't want to get caught
up in all of this mess, do you? So, you didn't see nothing did you?" So
I said "no" and I shook my head no and that was that. More info here,
in 1978 Larry Comfort was the coach for the Trophy House Corning
National minor league team and I was the official scorekeeper for the
Corning National minor league that year. Also, Ed and Norma Comfort
(Larry's and Joe's parents and two of the nicest people you would ever
want to meet unlike Larry and Joe who constantly got into fights and
head-butted all the time) lived on Third Street just four houses down
from my grandfather Zeke so I knew Joe was in the passenger seat of the
vette and Larry in the driver's seat. I also know chief Faulisi was
married to Patty Comfort and that chief Dick Faulisi had warned Larry
and Joe that if anything bad happened that chief Faulisi told Larry and
Joe that he would personally see that Larry and Joe rotted in jail for
the rest of their lives.
What came of this : They tend to overdramatize a lot of stuff
in movies
and TV. In real life you don't have all these explosions and
blood flying all over and that kind of stuff. Movies and shows on
TV and the big screen are not real life.
When : April 1981 / 1982
(either junior or sophomore year and 5 of the
6 days I missed at 4 years in high school)
Where : Elmira / Corning Regional Airport, Big Flats NY
Who : G. Gordon Liddy (George Gordon Battle Liddy)
What happened : The family (father, mother, sister, and me)
took a
family vacation to Florida the week before spring break in 1981 or 1982
(I'm not sure which year anymore, but it was the year where I got a two
week spring break). We flew People's Express down and back with
stops in Newark NJ for connecting flights. For me on the way down
and back, nothing spectacular other than seeing Jamie Barkley down
there
at Disneyland. I'm thinking now that it was 1982 (Junior Year)
but still not positive. After getting back, we were collecting
the luggage off the belt and I sat there with the luggage in seats
about where the middle of the airport is now. After the
flight cleared, another flight landed direct from St. Louis and the
people at the counter looked excited and were saying "G. Gordon Liddy's
on this flight. Shhh." Anyway, the St. Louis flight lands
and people start coming through the airport. Next thing I know G.
Gordon Liddy walks around the corner and says, "It's you, isn't
it?" And I said, "Yes, me and my family were just in Florida for
a week and just returned" And then G continued, "I know, I
noticed your aura disappeared about a week ago and then I saw it in
Florida. I saw your aura leave Florida and I jumped on a direct
flight from St. Louis hoping to catch you and I noticed you had a
layover in Newark and here you are. I kept thinking your aura
might be a bear or something wandering around out here because it
always seemed to be within about a 100 mile radius of here. Your
aura is about a 50 mile radius and I easily tracked you all the way
here from Florida. Your aura is huge but it's always been
comforting seeing it roaming around out here and then one day I looked
out and it was gone but I saw it down in Florida for a week. So I
jumped on the direct flight from St. Louis and I was getting ready to
go for my rental car and here you are. Looks like this is
going to be a short trip. Don't worry, I'll always know where you
are. I can see your aura even from the State of California.
Thanks." And then G turned around and went to the ticket counter
and exchanged his tickets for a later flight for the same flight that
was leaving. And then G got on the same St. Louis flight and left.
What came of this : A 50 mile radius aura must be some sight,
but I
can't see it so how should I know? Things happen.
Where :
Corning - Painted
Post East High School, Corning, NY
Who :
Karen Carpenter
I.
June 12, 1981? Karen and I reunited
And on
August 16, 2019 I
remember that Karen and I did meet again at
Corning - Painted Post East High School in 1981.
It was a sunny day, so I am thinking it was the middle of June 1981 but
not positive on that. Karen came to the school and had me paged
to the office at the school. The secretary called up my room I
was in and had me come to the office. When I got to the office,
Karen was standing by the reception desk and she was all decked out
with a short black dress, black fishnet type stockings, heels, and a
couple luau necklaces. When I got there, Karen said, "Hi, I was
the
one who had you paged. Do you remember me?" as I was going to the
reception desk. And I was like, "You look kind of familiar, but I
don't really recognize you." And she said, "It's me, Karen,
remember, you and I spent most of 8th grade together? I still
have that ring you gave me." And I was like, "Oh my God, it is
you. I remember. But you're kind of dressed like a slut so
you threw me off a bit." And she was like, "Well, that was
blunt. I guess I should have seen that coming the way I'm dressed
with the fishnet stockings and all. I just flew in and I didn't
have time to change out of my secretary clothes. I got a job in
the area now. We can be together again." And I was like,
"You look so different dressed up but it is still you on the inside
that counts, and as we both know, I like..." and Karen and I both said
in unison together, "Tomboys and mud pies." And we were both
like, "It is you, how've you been?" at the same time to each other
again. And the receptionist / secretary said (Lois, who lived
with Marvin's son, Ed, and Ed and Lois used to
rent the upstairs apartment from my parents at 265 East Third Street),
"You can use
[whatever] room if you two want some privacy. Don't forget to
close the curtains. Don't worry, I'll keep a look out for you
two. And here, put on this sweater [a long
white knitted
sweater]. If you remember, it's your old sweater and you left it
at
the apartment when you left two years ago. He's right. You
do
kind of
look trashy and I think the sweater will help cover it up."
As a side note here, the assistant principal at Corning
Free Academy became an assistant principal at Corning - Painted Post
East
High School, Roger Grigsby. Marvin Mishrell was the other
assistant
principal and Marvin's son Ed rented the upstairs apartment from my
parents before at 265 East Third Street. We'd moved to 8 Garden
Street
at this time. And so we went in
the room and Karen said, "I told her that
I was your fiancé
and she believed me. I hope you don't
mind." and I was like, "Like always, you make me smile.
That was a good one." Karen was like, "Yeah, she also told me
that you haven't been seeing anyone and the secretary was actually glad
to hear that we were engaged. She told me to say that my ring was
a
Cubic Zirconia but looked real and she said it was still a beautiful
ring and that you seem to be a really nice guy.
She remembered me from before when we woke up the neighborhood that
time. We had a good laugh together.
The secretary
also said that she sent her boss out on an errand and that we had about
an hour before he got back. Us secretaries need to stick
together." And then Karen asked, "I forgot, what were our pet
names for each other again?" And I was like, "Honey and
Darling." And she was like, "That's right. I keep
forgetting." And I was like, "That's OK. I only remember because
you used your Marlene Dietrich voice and Marlene called everyone
Darling and honestly, I came up with Honey after I looked over at your
honey dipper for your tea. I almost called you Bear because your
honey was in that bear jug." And she laughed and said, "I
remember that. I forgot about the honey bear. I kind of
wondered how you came up with that so fast." And I was like,
"Yeah, it just kind of just slipped out like that." And then I
said, "That was really great that the
secretary did that for us. I saw Patti in my french class so it
was a bit awkward. I didn't really know what to say to her half
the time. She did talk though and told me about you getting
married." And Karen was like, "Yeah, I got married on August
31st?,
1980 to a guy named Tom Burris and he has a boy Patti's age.
[then some personal information that I would rather not repeat in
public, not only because of privacy issues, but also because it is
still a bit garbled and I don't want to take a chance of writing
something again that may be a bit off and possibly wrong]. Then
she talked about her husband, Tom, and said something like, "When
people give you good advice, always listen. People
have always told me not to marry someone you meet in a bar and now I'm
paying for it because I didn't listen." And I was like, "I know,
the 5
F's of meeting someone in a bar - Find 'em, feel 'em, finger 'em, f***
'em, then forget 'em, but in your case it is probably Find 'em, feel
'em, fondle 'em, f*** 'em, then forget 'em." And Karen was like,
"I
like that better. I'll have to remember that. Tom
kind
of blind-sided me because at first he kind of looked like you without
your glasses only he is about ten years older than me.
But then too, he was more of a beefcake and you are more of
a hunk. After seeing you again, I definitely see the difference
between a beefcake and a hunk. Beefcakes are great to look at,
but
then I got to know him better and realized that he was not the hunk I
thought he was at first. Tom is definitely not a diamond in the
rough. Tom got me on the rebound because I
never got over you. My hormones were raging and my biologic clock
was ticking.
You weren't there to protect me. I was lonely and vulnerable and
how
did Rod say it?" And then I said, "You were desparate." And
Karen
said "Yeah, I was desperate. Really desperate. Do
you
like my ring? Yeah, I bought it myself, so it is just what I
wanted and this is the ring I wish you had been able to give to
me. I originally picked this ring out with you if you
remember right. You made that growl sound in your throat when you
saw
that ring. You were so cute. I had to get it and I stuck it
away in my hope chest hoping that some day... Actually,
I sent a limo to pick you up at your house, but you weren't
there." And
I was like, "We moved on February 23rd, 1980 to a different
house."
And she was like, "I kept hoping that you would show up at my wedding
and be my knight in shining armor like always, I
kept looking for you but you weren't
there.
And you know me and my signs. When you didn't show up I figured
it was
a sign that I should marry Tom, so I did." And I was like, "Try
to remember
this, if I don't show up at your wedding it is a sign that you are
marrying the wrong guy again. Besides, I was only 15 at the time
and
that would have looked great splattered all over the papers. You
know me, I still would have gone through with it somehow, but..."
And
Karen was like, "I'll try to remember that. And speaking of
papers,
People Magazine was there. I almost backed out, but my mom made
this
big speech and I went through with it. Her
speech wasn't that good, but my mom rarely makes
speeches so I figured it was important to her that I went through with
it, so I did. I was also good friends with
his cousin [I believe Debbie (Vaiusa?) Cuticello] and so I figured how
bad could he be? Anyway,
Tom got a vasectomy because he was worried that if I got
pregnant that it might wreck my voice and destroy my singing
career. I
asked him several times to get it reversed and I would pay for it but
he refused every time." And I was like,
"Well
that was thoughtful of him." And to Tom's
credit, Karen had arrhythmia (irregular
heartbeat) and with that, Karen getting pregnant would be a difficult
situation and a definite cause for concern.
And Karen was like, "Not funny Ace, but Tom admitted he wasn’t being
totally honest with me when he told me about the vasectomy before we
got married so I figured maybe he changed and was going to turn over a
new leaf after we got married. Tom changed alright after we got
married. Tom and I had great sex before we got married, but you
can't live on love alone. Before
we
got married, Tom always asked permission and such before doing
something. After we got married, Tom
kept trying to run everything. I kicked Tom out of the studio
because
Tom was trying to tell Richard how to record me." And I was like,
"I
remember Richard that time and I remember Richard and I there and you
sitting at your desk and telling Richard and I when it was alright for
us to talk. We knew better. But Richard has been recording
you for years and what does
Tom know about a recording studio anyway? Vasectomy, strike
one.
Bossy, strike
two." And then Karen said, "I forgot about
you meeting Richard.
You two were funny. Richard doesn't usually make jokes around
others, so I know he at least felt comfortable around you. But
Tom
and I even
fought on Christmas. It was our first Christmas together so I
wanted
to spend it at our new home and Tom had made plans to see people and
didn't tell me about it until the last minute. I piled up all the
presents in the back seat of the car, which is a small seat, and off we
went with his son trying not to sit on presents the whole
trip. So we ended up
spending
Christmas on the road and I was not happy and I definitely let him know
I definitely was not, as you call it, a happy camper." And I was
like, "I know how much you love
Christmas
and I'm surprised that you didn't shove the tree, angel and all, up
where the sun don't shine and then turn the lights on. Our
family usually visits everyone on Christmas day, but with you, I would
definitely let you decide and if you wanted to stay home, we would stay
home. No questions asked." And then Karen said, "I just got
an image
of that tree thing you just said. That's funny. I wish I
had thought
of that. I was definitely mad enough to do it at the time. And
as you say, pardon my french, but Tom is definitely a big enough
a**hole that the tree would fit with room to spare and we had a really
big tree this year. [And we both
laughed]. But
that wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back. Tom and I
visited
[my friend] and then when I asked him to visit again he seemed to be
making up excuses. A few times of this and I got suspicious and
called
up [my friend] and asked her if something had happened while Tom was
there." Karen said that "[my friend] said that Tom had tried to
talk
her into having sex with him and she felt awkward because she didn't
know what to do about it. [my friend] was worried that I might be
offended if she didn't want to have sex with him because she found him
to be kind of repulsive. Tom lied about why he and his ex wife
split up. And after I found out that he hit on [my friend] I am
all
done with Tom. Three strikes. You're out. Tom and
I are definitely having some problems lately
and
I guess it was to be expected. We both kind of started out on the
wrong foot and lied to each other. I lied to him about the rings
and about almost everything really. I never trusted him for some
reason... I think that reason was because I already knew someone
that I knew I could always trust. That someone is you. I
remembered what you said too about promises." And then we both
said together, "I don't make promises, but I say what I mean and I mean
what I say." And then she said, "We were both vulnerable and
lonely and we made all of these promises to each other and I think
we've broken about every promise we ever made to each other. It's
a real mess. I know
you can see my thoughts again and I know you just saw that.
Yes, he did. I was his wife. He
wanted sex. I was dry and we were both sore for a couple of days
afterwards, but he wanted sex and he got it. And I know you and I
know you’re different than that. That was one of the worst
experiences I’ve ever gone through in my life. He had his hand
over my mouth and it was just awful. As you can imagine, we
haven’t talked much since then. It’s pretty much over between us
because of that. [...Unspoken : I could
read Karen's thoughts and I
definitely read this one. This happened sometime in October or
November 1980 just a little after Karen and Tom had been married.
Karen had both fear and anger associated with remembering this
stuff.
Tom snuck up on Karen and physically held Karen down so that Karen
couldn't fight back or get away. A guy that cares about a woman
would
only restrain a woman to keep her from hurting herself or others.
Not
to force, but restrain. This was forceful. This was bad,
but after
this Karen started to physically keep her distance from Tom as
protection as Karen was rightfully worried that the physical
confrontations between Karen and Tom would start getting worst
('escalating' for people that like the 'big words'). As far as I
know,
Tom did not physically strike Karen, however, holding someone down like
that for that reason is what ended it and is physical abuse.
Karen
could never trust Tom again after that happened. What next?
Was Tom
going to start beating Karen up if Karen didn't do whatever Tom
wanted? Karen was NOT going to let it get that far. The
marriage was
over at that point but it was passed the 'annul' date and California
law at the time stated that they had to wait at least a year before
getting a divorce unless Karen could prove that her life was in
danger. Over. That was that. There was something
wrong with Tom and
Tom couldn't talk about it with Karen and at that point, things were
only bound to get worst between them as you know, if there is something
you can't talk about with someone you say you care about, it must be
REALLY bad. This wasn't a "this hurts so let's try not to talk
about
it" thing. This was definitely a "if I tell you the truth then
you are
going to hate me and never want to be around me again anyway"
thing.
And now back to Karen speaking again...] I'm
a Christian and I can't hate anyone but Tom
is
the closest to hating someone I've ever known. If you
remember Max, Max was
a saint compared to Tom. And
if you remember too, you were an answer to my prayers. Tom never
got me like you did with that coin trick. And I figure that you
had
figured out by now that it was Olivia and Dionne that time and we still
laugh about it because I had that racing stripe down the middle of my
face and I didn't know it. That was funny and everyone knew that
you
got me except me until later. The pencil mark wiped right off so
it
was no big deal. That's right, what did you
and
Dionne talk about anyway?" And I was like, "Dionne just wanted to
make sure that I was the one that did that to you and that I told you
about it before someone else did. We talked about you
mostly. She
was just looking out for you." And Karen was like, "I was kind of
jealous because you two talked and were laughing, but that's what she
told me too later
on was that she wanted to make sure you did it and that you told me
before I found out
about it and that you and her talked mostly about
me. I really messed up with Dionne because
I was jealous,
but there's nothing I can do about it now.
We weren't talking and it was all my fault because I got jealous
and I wasn't thinking."
And I was like, "You didn't did you?" And Karen was like, "We got
arguing and I did, we both did, and I kind of regret it because I was
not
raised that way but there's nothing I can do about it
now. I don't take back what I said, but I
just wish I could have found a better way to say it was all.
It just happened like that." And
Karen continued, "Tom pulled the drinking
glasses trick on me where the glass leaks, but it's just not the
same. It wrecked my new pants suit and was
just a mess really. You
got me
good, with Tom I got myself.
And, oh, what a mess I got myself into with Tom.
I really don't
care about him any more and I just
want him gone and out of my life." And
I was like, "Uh
oh.
I messed up again, didn't I? Sounds like things aren't working
out so well in your marriage. You know how I
always wish you the best and to be happy, I'm sorry to hear that things
aren't going so well, but maybe things can get better somehow."
And then I paused a little and then
continued, "It still seems kind of weird that everyone is our 500th or
whatever great grandkid." She was like, "Yeah, I still remember
what Nick said to us about not having children and possibly bringing
about another Great Flood and all that. I forgot to tell you that
he did say I could call him Nick too instead of Sir Nicholas."
And we both said, "But only in private. Jinx." And then we
both said together again, "He sounds just like John Cleese.
Double jinx." And we both
laughed a little and then she said, "He told me
he is actually Olivia's distant cousin. Oh
and Rod and I made up at my
wedding. I realized that he was just caught between a rock and a
hard place and it wasn't really his fault.
Rod and I came up with a new nickname for Itchie at my wedding,
Tagalong. Wherever I went, Tagalong wasn't
too far behind. I actually kind of feel
sorry for her as she got the role
as an antagonist in that Flashdance movie and people look at her as a
bad person because of that movie. So I've kind of taken her under
my
wing to see if we can soften up her public image a bit." And I'm
like,
"Actually, that antagonist image does kind of suit her if you remember
correctly. Not the man stealer part from the movie, but she ain't
exactly a nice person as I don't tend to get into arguments with nice
people;
she can be sneaky at times like in the movie.
You know I trust you, but I don't trust her and never
will. I can still see the knife marks from the last time she
tried to
stab you in the back. Remember that article
and
the pictures?"
And Karen was like, "I'll be alright, but I'll try to remember
that. My solo album is actually tied up in limbo for who knows
how long. I almost made the cover of Rolling Stone and they did
an interview with me on Saint Patty’s day. I thought it was a
joke at first because I didn’t think people worked on Saint Patty’s
day, but it was a real interview and I got to watch the Saint Patty’s
day parade from a window. I had on a top hat but somehow my top
hat disappeared and someone gave me a derby instead. But that
interview got me thinking that the papers were looking to make this
into a possible breakup and so I had them hold off on the article and
they did. I later decided to shelve that can of worms as I could
see the papers looking to use it as a Carpenters breakup and I am not
about to leave my brother. I was figuring because the album
wasn’t good musically that it would be looked at as a flop. Until
that interview, I hadn’t thought about what could happen if the album
was a hit. When I first played it for everyone I remember the
looks on their faces after I played it. My brother said it
sounded like crap and that was what I was hoping for. I was
hoping that the album would tank and that people wouldn’t bother me
again about doing another solo album.” And
I was like, “All filler and no killer. I remember you telling
me how Phil took all your good stuff and left you with leftovers.
What if it backfired and sold? People tend to listen to crap
nowadays if you haven’t noticed.” And Karen continued, “We were
getting ready to release the album and I thought that too about it
possibly being successful and not a flop. With that thought I
decided to shelve the album. I didn’t feel like having every
interview start off with so are you going solo? So I decided to
shelve the album. I asked them if I could hold off and not
release the album and I was surprised that they did. I also cried
because everyone had worked so hard on that album and I felt like I was
letting everyone down when I didn’t release it. I had enough
nonsense on my plate without adding a solo album to it, so I decided to
shelve the album for personal reasons and Richard, Jerry, Herb, and
even Phil said they would back me up on it. And if you remember
right, part of those
personal reasons were because of your age and what if people asked
about that stuff too. Out of sight. Out of mind. Too
risky. And you know me and my signs and when I got those signs at
the last minute that the album was a can of worms, I felt it best to
leave that can of worms on the shelf and still in the can where it
belongs. I still love
the album because most of the songs were about us and it has been about
all I have of us besides my pen and a couple of those kinky critters
you left in my desk drawers. I actually gave most of them away,
but I did keep a few as souvenirs. And yes, I still remember and
put them in different positions here and there when others aren't
around and I still laugh about it. You had a pretty wild
imagination as a kid." And I was like, "Sorry I wasn't there to
tonsilectomy the bride at your wedding. Honestly, I have been
trying to get you out of my system for the last couple years. I
haven't been doing so well as you can see. I know I look
terrible. I did buy Michael Jackson's Rock with You single and I
played it almost non stop for over a month after it came out and I
pretty much wore the single out because the grooves are white now
instead of black. I wore the needle out too and I had to replace
that as well. I definitely hugged the stuffings out of my pillow
for quite a while and then I just started forgetting about you for some
reason. I'm not sure why, but I did. It wasn't until Patti
was in my french class that I started remembering again. I
honestly don't remember half the things we did anymore, I just remember
that we had some great times together." And Karen was like,
"Yeah, it hit me pretty hard too and a few times I just started crying
and I didn't know why. I just did. And then I met Tom, but
I never really
forgot you, I just put you in the background. You
are still my strength when things go wrong and such. I remember
what others said about us being soul mates and honestly, even though I
missed you being there, you still gave me strength when I needed
it. Like you, I was an emotional train wreck too. We had
always
helped each other feel better for so long and you never realize how
good you have it until it's gone." And I was like, "Long and
gone. Hey you're a poet and didn't know it. I didn't
realize either. I mean I did realize, but when I forgot about you
for a little while, it kind of affected me a lot different than what I
thought. I honestly didn't think it was possible to forget about
you back then, but it happened and there is still some stuff I know I
have still forgot about yet. When I just started getting too
lonely, I thought of you and felt better even though you weren't
here. I also thought about everyone being our great whatever
grandkids too." And Karen was like, "Actually, that stuff still
kind of freaks me out. I try not to think about it too
much. We almost came close to possibly destroying the world and
we didn't even know it. It's just creepy." And I was like,
"Me too. I mean I love you, but not enough to destroy the world
over. Finding that stuff out kind of ruined us getting together
in the future when I get old enough. I still love the thought of
us spending forever together." And then she was like, "Me
too. I still love you and miss you so much. Us being
together forever sounds great to me too. And I got to thinking
too that I think Nick was wrong because we've had other lives since
then and even the Bible says there isn't going to be another Great
Flood when it talks about rainbows. I think we'll be fine if we
do get together. Well, I
just came back
into town for a little while for Patti's graduation and I thought I
would
stop by and say hi while I was here. I'm
staying with my cousin Wendy so the spinsters are back together again
and we're having a blast
and catching up on the soap operas and our knitting."
I was like, "Does she
still have that room above the garage available for rent?" And
Karen was like, "You remembered. Actually, Tom came with me and I
rented the room above the garage for him and his son. We had to
put it in his son's name because Tom doesn't have a good credit
rating. Oh and by the way, I ran a credit check on you too, just
for the fun of it. Very interesting as your rating puts Tom’s and
his son’s ratings to shame. I told Tom
I was
getting a secretary job at the school so that I could sneak off and see
you again." And the reason why a bit fuzzy is because of what
went on
next, Karen said, "Well, we don't have much time left, do you want to
keep wasting it talking or do you want to make out with me?" And
I
took my glasses
off and Karen wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped my arms around
her and I tonsilectomied (stuck my tongue down her throat and rubbed it
back and forth like a dog in heat) her for the next two
minutes or so. Karen was trying to push me away, but I let her
have
it. After I let her get away, she slapped me. I
then gave her the 'you asked for it' look. And
then she saw my thoughts again and realized what I was upset about and
she got a bit nervous. She then said, "Sorry I slapped you but I
didn't like what you did to me just now. That was just
horrible. If
it had been anyone else I would have been looking to break something
over their head." And I was like, "That's OK. I deserved to
be
slapped or even worst and as you know what I did was
intentional." And
she was like, "Yeah, I just realized why you did it too. Here I
am
dressed like a slut as you called it and then asking you to make out
with me and not wanting to talk. I kind of asked for that.
I thought
at first you did that because you didn't know what you were
doing.
I
think that my thinking you are just a kid kind of backfired on me again
like before." And I was like, "You got it. And I gave it to
you. If
you want to act like a slut, I can treat you like a slut. Welcome
back. But actually that's wrong of me especially with you.
I took
what you said the wrong way. And I need to say something else,
myself. First, I think we are both sliding on thin ice right
now. You
have two strikes against you and I have two and a half strikes against
me with that tonsilectomy I gave you and
thinking about you being a slut when you're not.
We are definitely starting
out
on the wrong foot. I think it is because you are looking for
someone
to be a lover and I am looking for someone to share my time with.
We
don't match. You want a lover and I want a companion. But I
think we
both need a lover that is a companion too. We both want
something, but
I think we both need something even better." And Karen was like,
"I
think you are on to something there and I agree." And then I
said, "Do
you remember when we visited the Dalai Lamas and the
Dalai
Lama made you think there was dirt on my face?" And Karen was
like, "I
think I remember that, but what's your point?" And I was like,
"If you
remember what Rod said about soul mates and touching, well, we've
touched each other. In all honesty, I don't want to spend the
rest of
eternity with you wanting to wipe dirt off my face or giving
tonsilectomies, do you?" Karen was like, "Do you think we could
start
over?" And I was like, "We can try." And then Karen and I
gave each
other a long (five minutes or so) passionate kiss (liplock) as we held
each other in our arms and embraced each other. The smiles and
cloud
11 were definitely back between us again. Our eyes were even
brighter
(more engaging) than before too. At the end of 8th grade, Karen
and I had the world in our eyes. Now, Karen and I started having
the universe in our eyes. Instead of sparks and flames, we were
having nukes and supernovas. Also, back in
1979, it was passion and an urge to go further. In 1981,
we found out about 'first contact'. We didn't hug or hold, we
caressed
each other. Soft and sensual, not wild and crazy. Intimate
and
meaningful, not just out for a good time. Lovingly, not bumping
and
grinding. A lover (well, she had her visitor so as close as we
could
get to it...) and a companion. We went from a feeling of now to a
feeling of forever. As everyone noticed, it was
awesome. Before, the secretary told
Karen that she would knock lightly three times on the door about five
minutes before her boss was to arrive. The knocks came and Karen
and I waited about a minute or so and then I proceeded to open the door
and walk out with Karen just in front of me. We were both
definitely floating on cloud 11 or higher and so staggering out might
have been a better word for it. I leaned forward and gave Karen a
kiss on her cheek and I said, "I love you forever Honey." And she
spun around and gave me a liplock (no tongue) and said, "I love you
forever too Darling." On the way out we both thanked the
secretary and she said, "No, thank you, it was my pleasure. It's
about time his office got put to some good use for a change. My
father in law is about as romantic as a [I think she said 'wet sponge'
but not sure now]. Good
luck you two. And Ace, just wait a couple minutes and go to your
next class." And I walked out with Karen and then we wrapped our
arms around each other and embraced and kind of did a slow dance
together while giving each other a liplock again and slowly
spinning around. And then Karen and I parted company and we blew
each other kisses and caught them. And I was like, "I still love
that smile." And she was like, "Me too as much as I love
you." And I was like, "I love you too." And Karen went out
the front door and I went to my class and got my books and then went to
my
next class.
II.
That eye color saying thing. Air bubbles.
Elvis. Pony tails
Karen
mentioned about the eye
color thing and she said, "How
did that go again?". And I was like, "If your eyes are brown, you
are
full of it, and if your eyes are blue, you are a quart low." And
I
think Karen said something like, "Tom's eyes are blue, but I think it
is because he has an air bubble in there somewhere." And I was
like,
"I hadn't thought of that. Could be."
At some
point I also
mentioned to Karen, "Remember how you
always thought that Elvis was my dad. Well, I had a school
physical
last year and my doctor told me that I was born breach and my mom was a
virgin when I was born." And Karen was like, "Anyone else and
that
would just freak me out, but with you that makes sense. It
figures.
Actually, that explains a lot. Are you sure about that?"
And I was
like, "Positive. My doctor told me probably a couple days after
you
got married. I guess that explains why I've never been normal or
whatever." And Karen was like, "I think normal is overrated
too.
Welcome to the club" or something like that. And of course Karen
and I
didn't have much 'private time' and kids started coming around again so
we got back to serious cuddling and such.
And of
course a new saying,
"People wear pony tails so that
if their head gets stuck up their butt, others have something to pull
their head back out again with." In all honesty, Karen usually
wore
her hair in a braided pony tail in the back and she looked great.
Karen wore very little
makeup and her freckles made her face shine bright. Karen also
wore
brightly colored pastel sun dresses. Most people thought Karen
was in
her late teens or early 20s (23 at most) because Karen just had a glow
about her that gave her a youthful and attractive appearance. I
have
no idea who's idea it was for Karen's "Made In America" album videos to
try and make Karen appear middle aged. No one that saw Karen at
the high
school
would have guessed that Karen was the one in the "Touch Me When We're
Dancing" videos. Even I have a hard time believing it is Karen in
those
videos. But then too, the "statues" video
definitely has a type of
'sex sells protest' feel to it which I believe both Karen and Richard
were tired of all the 'sex sells' hype at the time. If women can
bare
it all, why can't men bare it all too? Why is all of this 'sex
sells'
stuff only aimed at women? Great video.
[Side note, I think I remember Karen saying something like,
"We kind of did that video because if you remember our manager, Jerry,
always said, ‘sex sells baby’. There were a bunch of complaints
about the statue video and the guy's
schlong hanging out. Only a couple people mentioned anything
about the
bare
breasts (Karen would on occasion say cleavage, but most times Karen
used the word bosoms. That's why I am pretty sure she said
breasts on this one). Because of the complaints, they had us make
another
video".
And me of course, "Doesn't the record company know that sex
sells? It was only statues. It's just
art, but still... But then
too maybe the video wasn't sexy enough because as a statue he was hard,
but his schlong wasn't really hard. Maybe that was it."
And I think Karen said (with a giggle in her voice), "my thoughts
exactly but we made another video anyway without the statues."]
III.
I was only gone a little over a half hour
I
remember the one time that
I came out after an exam and Karen had tears just streaming down her
face and I said, "What happened? Are you all right?" And
Karen said, "I'm sorry, I missed you. I couldn't help it."
And I was like, "Aw, I missed you too. I love you so much."
And then we embraced and liplocked and then I assumed the position
against the wall and Karen climbed on top. Then I said, "Are you
sure you're OK?" And she said, "I'm OK now." And within a
minute later she was out like a light with her arms wrapped around me
again and my arms wrapped around her. A couple of the others
asked, "What happened? Is she all right? We were all
talking and then she just started crying." And I was like, "She's
tired and she missed me. She's fine now but she needs some
rest. Her visitor, period, takes a lot out of her and she gets
emotional sometimes." And a couple minutes later I zonked out too.
IV.
Hiding out
Another
time I came out of an
exam and Karen was hiding out in the auditorium. I had told Karen
earlier that day that the legal age in New York was 18 and not 16 like
in California. A police officer came into the school and Karen
got nervous so she ducked into the auditorium and hid just inside the
auditorium door. When I came around by the trophy case, Karen
opened the door and told me she saw a police officer come into the
school and the officer started asking people questions and then she got
nervous and hid. There was a car parked out front that wasn't
supposed to be sitting there and the cop had just came in to the school
to see if he could find the person and have them move the car. I
also told Karen after that, that if it had been something else that
both of my parents worked about 5 minutes away and that they would
definitely say that Karen had their permission to be with me aka
'parental consent'. I told Karen that because she wasn't a
teacher now that she didn't have to worry about the teacher and student
stuff any more. Honestly, no one really thought Karen was that
much older than me so no one really thought much about it or asked
about it. Plus Karen and I were happily engaged and Karen had a
ring on her finger to prove it. Karen and I were fine together.
Nobody really bothered Karen and me except to wake me up for an exam
or that one time that I was snoring and they didn't want me waking
Karen up,
which wasn't a bother really, but more of a necessity.
V.
The aftermax recollection
Karen
also brought up Max
again. Karen was like, "I know Max
was a sore spot with you, but I was glad it worked out the way it
did.
What did we call ourselves?" And I was like, "The walking
wounded."
And Karen was like, "I remember. I was definitely sore and
bruised for
a couple days and you were hobbling around too with sympathy
pains."
And I was like, "Actually, I pulled a groin muscle when I reached over
your desk and grabbed him. We were both a sorry sight afterwards
and I
remember how the other kids thought we had had sex as being the reason
why we were in such bad shape." She was like, "I remember that
too. I
just saw an arm come over my book rack and then Max wasn't there
anymore and the building shook and it felt like an earthquake and stuff
just fell off the walls and glass breaking and all that.
I had heard about adrenaline rushes from people before then but I got
to see one first hand. I
remember
the kids talking and such too. I just didn't feel like arguing
afterwards, so I just let them talk." And I was like, "I didn't
feel
like arguing either, so I let them talk too." And Karen was like,
"I
was very grateful that you didn't hit him because I know you would have
killed him, but I always wondered why you stopped and let him
go." And
I was like, "After he hit the wall, I saw the look in his eyes and he
knew it was all over. He knew if I hit him he was done. And
then I heard you say no Ace don't. That was what saved him.
But
I let him
go because I felt that everyone should be given a chance to make amends
for their mistakes. And the reason why I was always so upset
about Max
is because after I let him go and gave him his chance, he threatened to
have you arrested and told me not to tell on him. I don't regret
giving him his chance, but he definitely blew it with me and that is
why I couldn't forgive him if you remember. No way, not after
that."
And Karen was like, "I saw Max and he apologized and said he just lost
his head that time because he knew that you loved me, but he just
didn't understand why you didn't have sex with me. After you
cussed
him out, he understood and felt really bad about it. I was so
proud of
you for standing up for me and saying all those wonderful things to Max
about me. Your words hurt Max worst than any beating could have
ever
done." And of course Karen and I started making out with each
other
and lost our train of thought after that. Come to think of it, we
were
making out before this conversation took place as well. We really
didn't talk much in June 1981. We were usually either making out
with
each other, doing "The Couples Show", or sleeping (we didn't nap; we
slept. You don't nap through loud buzzer alarms going off)
together with our
arms wrapped around each other. We were
very comfortable with each other but also, Karen
was still "grooming me to be her husband" with teaching me about
forgiveness with Max, while I was still "briding her to be my wife"
with teaching Karen about repentance (admitting a wrong was done) and
penance (making amends) with her husband Tom.
VI.
Smoking
I had
started smoking not too
long before Karen came back around. I had only been smoking a
couple
months and not too heavily, maybe two packs a week. When Karen
first
came back around, on June 15, we went to the corner a couple times and
I grabbed a smoke there with the other kids that were smokers.
After
Monday, June 15, I did not smoke when Karen was around again.
Karen
actually didn't say a word about it and she was actually fine with it,
but
I wasn't fine with it. And honestly, it wasn't because of Karen
the
singer or that kind of stuff, but it was because with Karen around, I
honestly did not feel like smoking anymore. I would rather be
inside
cuddling up with Karen and stuff like that than polluting my lungs or
such. After Karen was around me for just a short time (3 or 4
hours)
the urge for me to smoke just disappeared. No lectures or any of
that
stuff, I just quit because I really didn't feel like it and I had
better things to do now. Would you rather spend your time kissing
and
hugging and cuddling up with someone truly very special or waste your
time burning money away and smelling like an ashtray? Me
too. That's why I quit smoking for a while.
Think about it more which is what I did. You have this
great pair of sizzling lips and an awesome cuddler right there in front
of you and this stupid
thing getting in the way of you having a great time.
VII.
Made In America. American Top 40
Karen
also mentioned that her
and Richard had a new album coming out and I mentioned that I had
already heard the new song "Touch Me When We're Dancing" on the
radio. And Karen was like, "Actually
Richard and I heard that song and thought it was good so we did it like
usual. I told them about the story of you and me dancing and you
calling me an osprey." And I was like, "I remember, I called you
an ostrich because you buried your head in your arms like an ostrich
that time." And Karen was like, "Oh shoot, I guess I messed that
story up a little and that kind of explains the funny look they gave me
but they still kind of laughed a little about it. I'm kind of
wondering now if they laughed because I mixed up osprey with
ostrich. Oh well. There's another
song on there called I Believe You by the Addrissi brothers and Tom
asks if the songs are written about
him. I tell him yes most of the time just
to shut him
up. You know how it is though. Usually the song is just
written already and I just tell people about what I feel my motivation
is behind singing the song a particular way or choosing a particular
song to sing. I don't actually write songs myself. Once in
a great while, like with Rock With You, I provide kind of a story to
use for a possible song, but I'm not much of a poet myself."
Karen
also mentioned that her neighbor at one time was Casey Kasem who did
the American Top 40 show. Casey also did the voice for Shaggy on
the Scooby Doo cartoon. Karen told me that Casey had almost been
let go
from the American Top 40 show after Casey stuck to his principles and
did a show as a tribute to Bon Scott who had passed away in March of
1980. Casey was very proud that he stuck to his principles even though
it almost cost him his job. Casey felt very strongly that maybe Bon’s
problem
child type lifestyle and how Bon passed away might be a good lesson for
younger people to learn about drinking alcohol too much and the dangers
associated with it. Regardless, ratings went down after the show. I
actually watched that show when it aired and I can say that it was very
awkward watching Casey Kasem say “Hell” a few times and such, but I can
say that Casey did show genuine concern as far as the rowdy “Rock N
Roll lifestyle” wasn’t as glamorous as others were trying to make it
out to be. There is a downside to excess. There is also a downside to
having advertisers that sell alcohol and a guy hosting a music show
trying to say “don’t drink too much”. But then too, if your
customer drinks too much and dies, then you lose a customer. But
even better was that Casey believed that if the tribute he did to Bon
Scott helped keep just one person from overdosing on alcohol, Casey
felt it was worth trying. It may have almost cost Casey his job,
but
Casey (and Karen too) felt it was the right thing to do by raising
awareness about the side effects of drinking too much.
VIII.
A little excitement?
At some
point during her 1981
visit, Karen mentioned that when she went back home that there had been
a bit of excitement in the Corning area in December of 1980.
Karen also commented that when it hit the news out there in California
and because Karen's family in California had known Karen was in Corning
New York, they figured that Karen probably knew these people as Karen
had a habit of seeking out the 'black sheep' so to speak. So
Karen and I talked about the Corning shootout that happened on December
5, 1980 in Corning New York, where the Comfort brothers, Joseph and
Larry had shot two undercover police officers. Corning is a small
area of 12,500 people, but still big enough where you don't know
everybody in a year. I knew that Karen had never met the Comfort
brothers, but Karen wasn't quite sure so she asked. Karen also
refreshed my memory because when she was in Corning from September 6,
1978 to June 22, 1979 there was talk in the town about a guy named
Bill, that had two sons that Karen knew (Brian and Tim), and Bill had
been arrested for counterfeiting after Bill was found with a printing
press in his basement that Bill used to make counterfeit money
with. Brian and Tim were students that Karen knew and Karen knew
that Brian had problems because of an accident at a local parade and
Brian was hit with a rifle butt and had head trauma but Brian was doing
better but learning at a slower rate. Brian
and Tim also had a sister, Mary, that would talk with Karen at times as
well. Brian's brother Tim was
another story and Tim was a handful even without his father getting
into trouble. Several times Karen had to
separate Tim from fighting with a guy named Fran. Tim and Fran
had both been held back in school. Such a
lively town with a history was Corning New
York during the late 1970s and early 1980s.
As Karen was noticing, she was kind of turning into her
mother and if someone had a problem, Karen would always listen and then
she would start talking your ear off about it. Karen started
loving
solving problems by sharing her experiences with others and others
sharing their experiences with her without others knowing she was a
celebrity of sorts. Karen did know quite
a few people in the area expecially after being an 8th grade english
teacher plus people that her relatives in the area knew as well.
But in a small area... So Karen and I talked a little. I
told Karen that I was actually there when it happened and I saw what
happened, but I had just turned 16 the day before so the police chief
did not want me as a witness because of my age at the time. But
the Comforts lived down at the end of Third Street and just around the
corner from where Bill lived. Nice neighborhood huh. My
grandfather and my cousins Becky and Carla lived about 4 houses down
from where the Comfort's parents, Ed and Norma, lived. Ed and
Norma were probably a couple of the nicest people you ever wanted to
meet, but their sons Larry and Joe were the opposite and constantly
getting into fights and such. But I knew that Karen had not met
Joe or Larry Comfort while she was in the area.
I knew them a little bit in 1978 as I was a scorekeeper and
Larry was asked to be an assistant manager to a team as part of his
probation. I also explained
that there was some stuff not leaked out and that Karen probably knew a
couple of Joe's and Larry's relatives, but not Joe and Larry
themselves. Karen knew Ed and Lois that rented upstairs from my
parents. We lived next door to the Glossars (Marge from the
sneaking incident) and their oldest son, Jack Glossar married Linda
Comfort. The police chief, Dick Faulisi, was married to Patty
Comfort. So there was a larger mess under the surface and the
police chief had warned Joe and Larry that if something happened, chief
Faulisi would make sure that Joe and Larry spent the rest of their days
behind bars (hint too, chief Faulisi was one of several town drunks but
did not do drugs. Joe and Larry were drug dealers).
Shooting two undercover police officers was definitely something and
Joe and Larry were kept behind bars (I think Larry got out 3 months
before he passed away from cancer I believe). But it had shocked
Karen when she first heard the news about the shooting as Karen had
always known Corning to be a quiet and friendly area. And Karen
still saw Corning as a quiet and friendly area when she returned in mid
June 1981. Karen did know the children of a guy that made his own
money in his basement, but Karen didn't know the cop killers.
Corning is a small area, but just big enough
where there is a little elbow room if you need it.
Yes, Karen and I were both street smart enough to find
trouble, and street smart enough to avoid real trouble when the need
arose. Like Karen said to me, "I saw those
two guys riding around
in that Corvette so I figured they were trouble and Wendy told me they
were trouble so I avoided them. I can tell people I saw them but
I
didn't really know them because I could tell they were trouble."
IX.
Karen and I and the 'couples hangout'
Karen
and I were seen many
times at the school after
this. I was age 16 and Karen was age 31 and I became known as
"Karen's old man" at the school. Honestly, despite the actual age
difference, Karen and I looked only a year or two apart when we were
together. The secretary said that Karen could wait for me in the
lobby any time. I would see Karen and then Karen and I would
usually start holding hands and then sit down in front of the trophy
case. I would 'assume the position' which was sitting and
reclining against the wall. My back against
the wall and my butt about a foot or so away from the wall.
Karen and I would then cuddle up and hug together and hold
hands and kiss and such. At times, Karen
wore cherry flavored lipstick too which was
awesome. Karen and I joked around too and wondered if they made
onion
flavored lipstick for Tom.
Karen's
ring stood out and a
lot of
times the upper classpeople (classmen, classwomen) would start coupling
up and sitting around us. Under the trophy case kind of became
"couples hangout" at the school. Originally it was just Karen and
me. By the end of the week there were probably around twelve
couples gathered around the trophy case and all of us chatting together
and talking about stuff much like back in the 8th grade days with Karen
and me in Karen's classroom. And the others would see the ring on
Karen's finger and would ask, "Are you two engaged?" and we would
answer, "Yes". And of course, "Congratulations. That's a
beautiful ring." And Karen would say, "It's a cubic
zirconia. It looks real but it isn't." (Of course it was
actually real, but at about three quarters of a karat, it would
definitely draw the wrong attention to Karen and me).
One of
the
teachers was actually a gem enthusiast and asked to examine Karen's
ring. We were like "OK, but we have a confession to make
first. Yes, the ring is real. Do you promise not to tell."
because we knew the jig was up with him. He pulled out his eye
piece and said, "I know it's real and I also know that ring from a
story a while ago in a magazine about [name] gem cutter and how he used
the flaw to enhance the diamond. That is a one of a kind
piece. I always wanted to see that ring and now I have.
Thanks. I promise not to tell that it's real."
One
time,
it was just Karen and I sitting there, side by side, and talking and
holding hands together (we usually locked our fingers together).
Karen had been standing and waiting there for me to get out of my exam
in the morning. On my way to the exam I had ran across Renee
Araujo
who was in my french class and I said hi to her. After the exam,
Karen
told me how she had seen my thoughts and asked me about talking to
Renee. And I was like, "She's in my french class. I was
just being
nice and saying hi to her. As you know from my thoughts, I don't
think
of her that way. She's a nice person so I just said hi was
all." And
Karen was like, "I know because I saw you flip through all those people
including my cousin Patti until you figured out who she was.
Watch who
you get friendly with but I know you're telling me the truth about
her. But remember too, you can't hide from me and I'll know if
you
start thinking of someone else and you know I'll make you pay for it if
you do.
Watch your step."
And then we sat down side by side and I
said something like, "I love you so much." and then Karen
said something like, "I know. Me too." and then Karen just
started crying. I asked, "Are you alright?" And she said,
"I just realized that it's really you and you're really here again and
I'm just so
happy. I can't help it. I've missed you so much." And
I was like, "I know what you
mean. I have been missing you so much and now we're together and
it just doesn't seem real. We've never really been able to be
together without some major obstacle causing problems. Being able
to just sit here and relax with you is just too wonderful to
describe. I love you too." And we are still side by side
and she is still crying. Then a guy walks around the corner and
sees her crying and yells out, "Hey you, take your hands off her.
Can't you see she's crying?" I said, "I know she's crying, but if
I take my hands away from her she'll cry even more? She's not
hurt or sad, she's actually happy." And he said, "She sure don't
sound happy to me. I said take your hands off of her or else and
I mean it." And then Karen raises her hand up with the ring on
her finger and the guy says, "Oh sorry, I didn't realize. You two
got engaged?" And I was like, "Yes. Come on over. We
don't bite." And I put my hand up in the air and motioned for him
to come over and he did. And when he came over I shook his hand
and said, "Thanks for being concerned about her. I really
appreciate it. I would have probably done the same thing
myself. No need to be sorry. Thank you." And he said,
"That's a big rock on her finger." And I was like, "It's a cubic
zirconia and not a real diamond, but it's still beautiful like
her." And he said, "I can't argue with that. Thanks and
congratulations to you two." And Karen and I both said,
"Thanks." and then he left and I gave him the thumbs up and Karen
just rolled her head over onto my chest and wrapped her arms around me
and we both cuddled up and closed our eyes for a bit enjoying the
moment. Men tend to get upset when they don't know how to express
their feelings. Women tend to cry when they don't know how to
express their feelings. Karen was just beyond happy and it
showed.
And then
another time, Karen
and I just cuddled up and
went to sleep together in our usual spot. The
secretary came out later and woke
us
up after she finished work and before she left for the night (either 6
or 8 PM). We probably would have been there all night if she
hadn't
woke us
up. Karen and I were still just that comfortable with each
other.
We both also drooled in our sleep, a lot. My shirt was usually
kind of
soaked in drool in spots by the end of the day. I soaked my
collar and my shoulder and Karen soaked my chest. We were still
definitely a lot alike.
Also,
Karen used the 'count
the days' method for knowing when her
period (menstrual cycle) would happen and as her form of 'birth
control'. This time around her
period was
really difficult. For the week Karen and I were around each
other,
Karen was having a rough time. Karen would take some Midol pills
and
then cuddle up with me under the trophy case and usually fall asleep
with me. She would put her arms around my neck and then rest her
head
against my chest (because she said she liked listening to me breathe
and listening to my heart beat and hearing my
heart beat helped her relax about her arrhythmia enough to just fall
asleep) and she would usually be sound asleep
within five to ten minutes of cuddling up with me.
On the
last
day,
Karen was doing better again and tried to apologize for the rough week
she had. She also said, "What was the school name again?"
And I was like, "Corning Free Academy, but we also called it Corning
Freak Asylum" And Karen was like, "Back at CFA my visitor usually
happened
on the weekends so you didn't see me this way. Maybe only a
couple times." And then she said, "Is there anything I can do to
help
make
it up to you?" And I said, "You already have. You were
feeling
miserable and you still spent your time with me. What more could
I ask
for?" And she said, "But I wasn't good company." And I was
like,
"Says who? Oops, that's right, you just said so. Sorry,
you're right
as usual. You weren't good company; you were great company.
And yes,
I still love seeing you smile again even if I have to sleep with you
some more. Is there something wrong with saying I slept with
Karen Carpenter and she feels better now? Don't answer
that. I just caught myself. I promise not to tell on me if
you promise not to tell on you." And yes, she smiled. And
after she
smiled, the old familiar words, "smart ass", just rolled out of her
mouth.
X.
June 18, 1981? Our last day together?
On our
last day together,
Karen and I were under the trophy case as usual and through the front
doors of the school came Karen's husband Tom. Tom rushed right in
and grabbed Karen by the arm and started dragging her out the door
saying, "You're coming with me." among other things.
Karen then saw me stand up from against the wall and Karen
had the 'uh oh' look on her face because she knew I was getting upset
about her being dragged across the floor.
Karen then
said to Tom, "Let me go. I will go with you if you only let me
talk to
him first." And Tom let go and Karen came over and just said to
me, "I hope you remember what I said to you, I really meant it.
I'll be back soon."
And I was like, "You know I always mean what I say too. I'll
always love you." And then Karen turned around and walked out
with Tom.
There
was also a couple
couples sitting near us as the
trophy case became the 'couples hangout' at the school. I
remember the one guy sitting next to me saying, "If you love her, you
should fight for her. Why would you let him just take her like
that?" And I was like, "You don't understand; that is her
husband, but he did some bad things and she doesn't love him anymore
and she can't forgive him for what he did." And he was like, "I
think I understand now. That makes more sense. Sometimes
you have to go through some bad things before you can realize how good
you can have it. I feel bad for her. That guy seems like a
jerk. She's such a sweetheart to everybody and she deserves
better than that." And I was like, "Yes, and we all can make
mistakes, but a bigger mistake for me would have been to try and
interfere between her and her husband. That would anger him and
cause her more problems than she already has. So long as he did
not physically hit her or such, I was not going to intervene.
Karen is a big girl and can take care of herself for the most
part. Karen has to wait a year before she can file for a divorce
which would be in August this year at the earliest. In the
meantime, it is better if Karen and I have some patience and try not to
make her situation any worst than it is. That is also why Karen
and I stayed out here in plain view so that people couldn't accuse us
of stuff. Back then, Karen thought she would never be able to see
me again."
I
am not sure now if Tom brought her back to the school or not. I
keep thinking that Karen came back, but I am not sure as it has been 38
years now and counting. For some reason I keep thinking that
Karen came back and had tears in her eyes and said something like, "You
didn't tell them did you?" And I was like, "I finally told them
you were in a bad marriage because I think they found that out
now. I also told them that you had to wait a year after getting
married to get a divorce. Everyone was kind of shocked because
you have been so happy that they didn't think anything was wrong.
That's about it unless there was something else that you could think
of." And Karen had a look of relief and was like, "Thanks, I was
hoping to tell them myself but I guess it couldn't be helped. Tom
brought me back and said I could stay here. I just started crying
in the car and saying that we are surrounded by a bunch of kids and
just talking. We can't do anything with a bunch of kids hanging
around us and where am I going to go? Why won't you let me stay
with him? It's been over between us and you know it and you know
why. But if you want, I can tell you why so that your son can
hear it too and hear why his mom divorced you too. Is that what
you want from me now? And so here I am. And Tom said he
would pick me up later." And it seems like everyone was glad to
see her back under the trophy case again after seeing her being dragged
off earlier and finding out she was still legally married to a guy that
she didn't love anymore. It seemed like everyone was so
supportive and giving Karen hugs and such. And it seems like I
remember Karen saying, "I love all of you so much and I feel so loved
when I'm around you. Thank you so much. I am going to miss
you guys after the school year is over." And I think they said
back something like, "We are going to miss you too Honey. Too bad
you
couldn't send Smart Ass instead. We'd rather miss him than
you." And I think I said something like, "Gee, thanks guys, you
really know how to make a guy feel loved." And
then everyone looked over at Karen
and then Karen looked at me with a big smile on her face and finally
said, "Smart
ass" in
her usual way. So yes, it is definitely
true that no one likes a smart ass except possibly Karen Carpenter; I
should know. And then everyone
laughed and then we got back to some serious cuddling.
Tom
stopped by later and came in and picked Karen up. Tom
came over and said something like, "When I got back, Wendy filled me in
that you saved her life before. Sorry about earlier. I
didn't know.
She never told me about it. Thank you." and Tom and I shook
hands.
And Karen and I kind of had a blank stare and then I was like,
"Actually, Karen and I kind of forgot about that." or something like
that. And Tom's jaw just dropped and he was like, "How could you
forget about something like that?" And I think I pulled Tom
closer and I kind of
whispered,
"People here don't know that she's Karen Carpenter and we worry more
about people finding that out than whether or not I saved her life or
whatever." And then I think I spoke up and said something like,
"Yeah,
Karen and I have so many great stories to tell that we kind of forgot
about that one. But one time Karen thought she dropped her pen in
the
road and I grabbed her before she went in the road and almost got hit
by a car. It really wasn't that big of a deal. It was just
one of
those things that happened and Karen's cousin Wendy came out and saw us
crying together by the store because I almost lost her. Sometimes
you
never realize what you have until after you almost lose it." or
something like that. And then I think Tom and Karen left the
school
after Karen said her goodbyes and such. Earlier that day, Karen
and I agreed that to avoid any complications in her divorce and to
avoid any possible 'adultery' allegations or such against Karen by Tom,
that Karen and I would not contact each other until her divorce was
final. We did that. Karen also asked
me if I had an old shirt that smelled like
me that she could sleep in to help remind her of me until her divorce
went through. I don't remember which shirt now, but I did give
her one
of my shirts that she took with her when she left.
She hid it under her dress so that Thomas wouldn't see it when he
picked her up.
XI.
The Couples Show
Karen
and I got a lot of
questions about being a couple and
such. We developed a routine together after the first day.
With Karen having problems with Tom Burris, we didn’t want to have a
nicey nicey talk and we opted more for the ‘dysfunctional’ couple
idea. Karen and I were seen by the others as ‘the perfect couple’
as we never argued and we were always caring about each other. So
Karen and I decided to ‘dirty up’ our image a little during the couples
show. Well, a lot actually. The real
world is not a perfect place where everything always goes according to
a perfect plan. How did we get to be such
a ‘cute couple’? I guess by me sleeping on the couch all the time
with that one spring that keeps you up all night. Karen and I
even had a few of the teachers wanting to record this show as it was
educational as well as entertaining about personal relationships.
So many things can go wrong and how do you cope with it? Being a
couple is about working together. We slid the message in sideways
as there was this guy (let’s call him Smart Ass) that always had his
own way of doing things. If Smart Ass was to ever be allowed back
off the couch again and get a good night’s sleep, then Smart Ass was
going to need to learn to work together with Honey (Karen) and
straighten his act up. Karen was
having a rough time with her menstrual cycle (period / 'visitor') and
she would
come in and take a couple Midols and crawl up on me and sleep for a
little bit with her arms around my neck and her head against my
chest.
I would usually have to wake her up when I had to go to an exam and I
always hated to wake her up because I knew she was exhausted.
But, at
times I would feel bad about it and wake her up and take my exam and I
would usually be back within a half hour. I would be like, "I'd
rather take a zero than wake her up. She's so peaceful and
resting comfortably and having such a hard time with her period."
And the guys would be like, "Don't worry about it. You'll be back
soon and we'll keep an eye on her for you. She'll be fine."
Afterwards, Karen would
usually be wide awake and many times someone new would start hanging
out under the trophy case. Because Karen was exhausted many
times, I
did a lot of the talking about things and Karen usually threw in a
bunch of "smart asses" which kind of became my nickname around the
trophy case. And really, the less Karen talked, the less likely
people were to recognize her as being Karen Carpenter. Actually,
most people knew Karen as Honey. And we would
start out with (either of us might say
this), "Hi everyone. When we started out as a couple, we had a
whole
bunch of things to learn and no one to really ask about it. So if
you
have any questions, just shout it out any time and we'll work on
it.
In the meantime, just sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the
show." And then I would start out with, "So anyway, the first
thing is
we're Karen and Ace. We're a couple. Karen and Ace, and the
reason
Karen and Ace is because she comes first and then I can roll over and
go to sleep. Karen and Ace. Otherwise, she's up all night
and I never
hear the end of it." And Karen would be, "You got that right
smart
ass". And I had one of the guys that was a 'smart ass' fan so to
speak. He would say stuff like, "Go get
'em smart ass" and "Watch
your
step smart ass you should know better by now" and my favorite, "If this
house is a rocking, don't come a knocking" and
stuff like
that. And
then I would continue, "The first thing that guys need to learn is that
she is always right. Right Honey?" And she would be, "If
you know
what's good for you, you'd better know I'm right and admit it smart
ass." And I would continue, "There are dire consequences for not
following this rule. The shortest distance between two lines is
the
couch. The couch actually isn't too bad once you get used to it,
but
there's always that one spring that keeps you up all night. But
this
is if you're lucky. Remember, you did something wrong and now
you're
going to pay for it if you know what's good for you, right
Honey?" And
she was like, "Right smart ass." I would continue, "If you mess
up
again, then the dog house and it just goes downhill after that.
Guys,
try not to mess up. Also remember, high heels can be used like
boomerangs. Think about it. If she throws something at you,
let it
hit you. Your bones will probably heal faster than being able to
get a
new TV because you were stupid and thought that ducking was a good
idea. It isn't. Women love to pamper a guy that's been
hurt. Your
bones heal. That picture window doesn't heal and now you have to
replace it and learn all these new words just because you thought you
were being smart and ducked. You weren't so smart were
you?" And
Karen would be like, "See what you get for being a smart ass and
ducking. Is it really worth it?" And I would continue,
"Definitely DO
NOT ARGUE WITH A WOMAN. Remember rule number one, she is always
right. It saves on a lot of aggravation and couch springs.
Watch."
And Karen would say, "You know that new bowling ball you wanted, well
the curling iron bit the dust and I need a new bathrobe and
slippers."
And I would say, "Now guys, I know that you're thinking that she looks
better naked and curly hair really isn't that important, but remember
your priorities. It can get lonely on the couch all the
time. Trust
me. I'm a smart ass. I know. She's fine. She
has the bed because if
she doesn't have the bed then she'll get a bad back and you'll never
hear the end of that either. One of these days she'll feel sorry
for
you and you can get that bowling ball, but until Hell freezes over, you
are going to have to be patient and wait. And I think this is a
good
time to bring up priorites. There are two kinds of priorities,
wants
and needs. Actually, Karen and I when we got back together we had
a
big fight and almost broke up because of wants and needs. Karen
wanted
a lover and I wanted a companion. It doesn't match does it?
Remember,
don't argue with a woman. She had two strikes on her and I had
two and
a half strikes and we were both ready to call it quits because we
weren't getting what we wanted. And then I looked at the problem
again
and I said, you know, you want a lover and I want a companion, but I
think we both need a lover and a companion. You have two points
for
acting like a slut and I have two and a half points for that horrible
tonsilectomy I gave you and saying slut to you. But we both want
something, but I think we need something even better. You want a
lover
and I want a companion, but I think we both need a lover that's a
companion too." And Karen was like, "Then I just said, can we
start
over?" And then I said, "We went from sparks and flames to nukes
and
supernovas. Take care of your needs first. You are always
going to
want something sometime, but if you need something and don't get it you
can be up sh*t crick and she'll definitely shove that paddle somewhere
where the Sun don't shine." And Karen would say, "And you'll be
walking funny too, right smart ass?" And then I would continue,
"And
speaking of which, guys, how would you feel if you had someone over top
of you just beating on you relentlessly then rolling over and falling
asleep when they're done. This is the woman you love. Enjoy
every
moment you get even with a paddle shoved up your ass. Think of
what
you're doing and how would you feel if it was being done back to
you?
Love only goes so far, because if you really love someone, they know
how you feel and you know how they feel. It's a two way
street.
Everybody's different and it takes a little while to get used to
someone. Karen and I were around each other for 9 months and in
that 9
months things just kept getting better and better between us, but some
people around us started behaving worst and worst. Karen and I
love
making each other feel better. Others liked trying to make others
feel
miserable. Karen and I had more than enough problems to feel
miserable
about if we wanted to feel that way, but we loved making each other
smile and we really loved seeing each other smile too. And it was
weird too because many times we didn't think we could be any happier
than we were, but somehow it happened. All because we love to
make
each other happier. We learned to work together to make each
other
happier." And Karen and I would just go on and on and talk about
different things that happened and how we dealt with stuff and
such.
We definitely threw in a bit of humor too because we realized that a
lot of times people remember jokes better than just saying things and
trying to memorize a bunch of stuff that didn't seem very fun.
Rolling
pins, baseball bats, bazookas, and all I remember was hearing 'you son
of a b*tch' and then I slipped and fell down the stairs right into the
dog house. And we would talk about going from being single to
being
with someone and all the ups and downs of adjusting. We didn't
have
kids ourselves, but we also talked about making kids a priority in a
way, but not spoiling them and trying to teach them how to do things on
their own. With kids, you want to teach them to do for themselves
and
take the patience it needs to let them work it out at their own pace
which is the tough part. If you do it for them, they don't learn
how
to be able to take care of themselves and that leads to kids having
more problems if they figure everyone will always do everything for
them. We would also talk about 'sex signals' where instead of
saying
something out right, you would just rub your finger a certain way to
let your partner know or such. Sometimes, you can't always
tell. And
Karen would be like, "Well, I don't have that problem with Ace. I
can
always tell. It's kind of hard, sorry about that, to miss."
And we
would always try to work in 'work together' as being essential.
"If we
work together, we can get things done quicker and that leaves more time
for other things. And time is the key to a lasting
relationship.
Because with a good relationship, time always seems to fly by and you
keep hoping that time will last and continue, where as with a bad
relationship, time seems to drag on and you keep hoping for it to be
over soon but it never is." We would also talk about jealousy and
Karen would admit that she would get jealous and Karen would say that I
didn't get jealous. And we talked about the reason behind
jealousy and people feeling inferior or superior to others and how
Karen and I found out that when we thought of each other as equals that
the jealousy went away. We both cared a lot about each other but
Karen would get worried about me finding someone else and such because
of her past experiences. And that was the problem with jealousy,
you think about losing someone instead of enjoying the times you have
together. And as far as myself, I explained, "I only want Karen
to be happy and Karen is a people person. If Karen were to find
someone else, I still wish for her to be happy even if she wasn't with
me. But we both noticed that neither one of us was happy without
the other. Karen and I were apart for about two years and absence
makes the heart grow fonder. But with Karen being a people
person, I know Karen is going to meet other people. It's Karen's
nature to make as many friends as possible and talk to as many people
as possible as you've noticed. Karen would not be happy cooped up
by herself with no one but me or herself to talk to. And Karen
and I both realize that the more people we talk to, the more ideas we
get, and the better we feel. But after meeting others and such,
we still have that special bond between us where we enjoy coming back
to that someone special after we've been away from each other. We
are just so comfortable with each other because we know each other like
the backs of our hands. But that's us and everyone is different,
so what works for one may not work for others. And sometimes it
may not work at all and you may need to move on to something that
works. The grass may seem greener on the other side, but a lot of
times when you get to the other side, the fertilizer smells
funny. You need to find what works best for you and yours.
And no one likes a smart ass so why does Karen worry about someone
taking her old man?"
And Karen would be like, "I know, but I miss you
and I don't want to lose you again smart ass." And
we would always throw in, "We found out through our own experiences
that when you try and help others you end up helping yourself
too. A lot of times we noticed people were having problems
because after being a couple, they didn't really talk too much to other
people either because someone was jealous or not enough time or
such. And when you talk to others, you get different ideas as
different people have different experiences. We like it when
people share experiences together and learn from each other. And
no matter how much you think you know, there's always someone out there
that may know something different that you could learn from." We
got caught too with a question. Nancy asked Karen and me if we
were actually like that at home and I confessed that "Karen and I
actually only see each other at the school and not outside
school. We don't really do that stuff to each other." And
of course I would bring up how
Karen
wasn't feeling too well because of her 'monthly visitor' as she called
it, and how I really enjoyed her cuddling up on me and taking naps and
such. I knew she wasn't feeling well and at times I would feel
kind of
guilty because I was enjoying the fact that we were so comfortable
together and we could just cuddle up and fall asleep about anywhere
together. And at times, Karen really didn't understand that I
really
did enjoy just holding her in my arms and falling asleep
together. Honestly, to this day, Karen is
still the only woman that I have been able to fall asleep with.
XII.
Cousin Patricia's Graduation
Friday,
June 19, 1981 was a
short day and the final half day of school for the 1980 - 1981 school
year. I am pretty sure (but not positive now) that graduation
ceremonies for the graduating class of 1981 were held on Saturday, June
20, 1981. I remember riding my bicycle by the school stadium on
the day of graduation ceremonies for 1981 and thinking that I would be
unable to see Karen because I figured Karen's husband would be there
with Karen. While I rode around the stadium entrance, Karen saw
me and a couple of the 'couples' people saw me as well and yelled down
for me to come up with them. I locked my bike up and went to the
entrance to get in. Of course you need a ticket to get into the
ceremonies and I didn't have one. But being resourceful and
'street smart' as Karen put it, Karen handed me her ticket through the
railing, which I used to get in, then they hand you the ticket back,
which I gave back to Karen after I got in. It worked out
well. After getting in, we went to the back of the stadium.
I did not see Karen's husband Tom either which was a kind of
relief. And yes, Karen and I were glad to see each other
again. A few of the couples from the couples hangout were glad to
see Karen and I together again too. Several of the couples were
graduating, but there was still 3 or 4 couples that weren't graduating
and were just kind of hanging out. There was one guy in
particular (I think his name was Steve, but not sure, it could have
been Alan) was a guy that liked dirty jokes. Karen knew a lot of
dirty jokes over the years too. So this guy and Karen had been
swapping dirty jokes back and forth while I was busy with my exams
during the week. Karen had told me all about it and that Karen
was still holding back the better dirty jokes for later.
You know, dirty jokes. Stuff like, "Why does a woman have two
holes close together?
So that when she gets drunk, you can carry her home like a six pack"
or "How do you make a woman scream during sex? Wipe your dick on
the curtains" or "What's your flow like?
Linoleum." or "What is grosser than gross?
Biting into a hot dog and finding a vein" or
"What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him so you
can
pitch to the rhino", stuff like that. As an
inside joke, Karen and Alan (I'm pretty sure now it was Alan and not
Steve, but still not positive) numbered the jokes and when the other
kids would walk by, Karen and Alan would say something like, "He looks
like a number 6" or "She looks like a number 17?" and they would both
laugh about it together. They
both had a great time with it too and they became good friends.
But we were up there out of the way and kind of reliving the good old
days of the couples hangout days. The stadium was starting to
fill up, but there was still a bit of room left yet. So we kind
of had the area to ourselves with a little breathing room.
Next, I am pretty sure it was Karen's husband, Tom, that yells out,
"Hey,
look, it's Karen Carpenter!" and we see people looking around and it
looked like Karen's husband's son was the one that stood up pointing at
Karen and me.
Of course Karen and I are looking around and the others are looking
around too, and then a couple of the others notice that people are
coming our way. Then the other couples kind of look at Karen and
me and then... [Steve or Alan? Austin] says, "No way. Karen
Carpenter's
a dork. You're not a dork, you're cool... I didn't mean it that
way, but you?" or something like that. And Karen shook her head
yes and then I think she gave him a hug and I think she said something
like, "Thank you. That's probably one of the best compliments
I've ever got." And I think his face turned beet red as he
realized he had been swapping dirty jokes with squeaky clean Karen
Carpenter and maybe she wasn't so squeaky clean after all. And
then they see people coming our way so the couples go, "Don't worry, we
got your backs covered like always." And then we came up with a
funny plan. When the people got there we would say, "What's the
password?" just to throw them off a little bit. The password if I
remember right was "I don't know". It seemed easy enough to guess
and if they couldn't guess it, we'd tell them, "Pssst, the password is
I don't know". But that way it gave the people a chance to talk a
little with Karen and such without it getting too messy with too many
people all at once. A lot of them asked who Karen was there for
and Karen said, "My cousin Patricia Carpenter" and some people stayed
in the area and others went back to other areas. But now about
cousin Patti. Patti was a year behind in school. Patti had
some trouble learning some things and started almost giving up feeling
like she was never going to graduate. Patti had to work extra
hard to work around the learning block that she had. It was
difficult, but cousin Karen and her family were not going to let Patti
give up on herself. If it takes extra work then so be it, but
keep trying and keep doing the best you can do, but don't give up on
yourself. Patti did not give up and was now going to
graduate. The commencement started and the names started being
read off and kids started getting their diplomas. Karen clapped
for each person that had their name read and she would do her pinky
whistle for the ones she personally knew. And if you
hadn't guessed yet, when the name Patricia Carpenter was read off,
there were loud whistles, yells, and applause throughout the stadium
and a standing ovation. And of course with
the standing ovation, Karen couldn't
really see from where she was. Yes, Karen got up on my shoulders
and
she could definitely see and be seen up there.
I made the comment, "Nice" and Karen commented back, "I went commando."
The other couples did the same thing as well with the girls getting up
on the guy's shoulders (I think Karen was the only commando though).
And the
principal said, "Looks like you've got quite a fan club out
there.
Would you like to say a few words" or something like that (not sure now
exactly).
And Karen and I started cracking Gerald Ford jokes as Patti went up to
the microphone.
And Patti had tears in her eyes as she was so happy and you could hear
her tears when she said "Thank you all so very
much. We've all worked
so hard to be here and we're so proud that you can be here to share
this moment with
us and a special thank you to those who wish they could be with us but
couldn't because they had other commitments they needed to attend to
and I hope you continue your enthusiasm for the others that are
graduating as well. They worked hard too. Thank you." or
something
like
that (it was difficult to hear her as unlike her
cousin Karen or myself, the scorekeeper and announcer, Patti wasn't
used
to using a microphone) and she got her diploma
and more
cheers. I don't remember Patricia's exact
words now, but I do
remember that her speech was unplanned, unrehearsed, genuine, and very
thoughtful of others. Short, sweet, and to
the point. The Carpenters as I knew them to
be.
And Karen was next to me and said,
"She deserves
this and more. She's worked so hard to get this. I'm so
proud of her." And then Karen does her loud whistle with her
pinkies in the corners of her mouth and [Alan / Steve?] joined in as
well. At times too, I would come around and I would start wanting
to cuddle up with Karen, but we had all these people wanting autographs
and such. I would rest my head on Karen's shoulder and put my arm
around her, then Karen would send me out into the crowd to tell people
the password because we both wanted to cuddle but we couldn't, so Karen
tried to keep me busy. A newspaper reporter and cameraman came
around as
well. Karen tried to get the cameraman to take a picture of Karen
and me together and introduced me as her husband, Ace.
The reporter
heard my
name, Ace, and said something like, "I know you're not Tom, is your
name Bubby by chance?" And I was like, "It used to be." And
the
reporter was like, "You're on the blocked list. I
can't." And the reporter had a small slip
of paper that had maybe
three names on it and was smaller than an inch long and about three
inches wide. There were only about 3 or 4 names on the list which
I
believe included Charles Manson and myself, Bubby.
And Karen gave him a mean face for not taking our picture
together. And the reporter was like, "Please don't be like
that. I can't. It would be my job. You don't look
or sound like the type Bubby. I have a feeling I am missing out
on a
bigger story here. What did you do to get on this list anyway if
you
don't mind me asking?"
And I
just shook my head no and put my hands out and said, "I don't
know." And then Karen says,
"His mother was a virgin when he was born and the Church is afraid of
him." And the reporter says, "That explains it. That
explains a lot
actually. You look more like the type to have a halo than horns."
Then I had an idea, I had Karen sit on my lap so that she
would be higher up but also so I would be technically not in the
picture. Then a few of the others got behind Karen and we kind of
put our arms up to make it look like Karen had 8 or 10 arms on
her. It was really kind of cool and if the pictures had existed,
probably would have made an awesome album cover. I have a feeling
that the media kind of deemed it as too hindu for the Carpenters and
probably if they hadn't destroyed the pictures, Richard probably
did. No big deal though. Understood, but still fun. I
didn't see any pictures, but I know there was a write
up in the local paper about Karen Carpenter being at the graduation and
being mobbed. Also, I know Karen asked the reporter if he could
forward stuff to her brother because her brother always liked
collecting newspaper stories and such about Karen and him. It
would have been probably the June 21st or June 22nd 1981 (Corning) The
Leader paper as well as possibly the Elmira Star Gazette also.
After the reporter showed up, Karen's Uncle Jack and Aunt ? showed up
as well and sat behind us.
Karen and I heard a familiar gruff italian sounding voice say, "dull
rusty butter knives"
behind us
and Karen went from sitting in my lap to sitting
in the seat next to me. Karen and I
weren't quite as rowdy as we were before.
Karen and her Uncle Jack talked for a little bit as privately as
possible. Karen's
Uncle Jack talked with
me a
little bit as well and I remember him saying at the end, "...I
don't like him. He chickened out and had his balls (nuts?) cut
off by a
doctor before
I could get to him... I still
remember the day my mother smiled. She passed
away
peacefully in
her sleep God rest her soul. You both
still have my blessings" and then Karen's Uncle
Jack started getting rowdy too with
us so I guess it all worked out.
And remember, if you messed up and your balls (nuts?) are still
attached, then
you don't know Jack (Carpenter). As
far as the 'finger pointer'? Thanks. I
know it was meant to be mean and create problems for Karen since Karen
was not one to like being the center of attention and being
mobbed. But then too, Karen and her cousin Patricia were very
happy about the result of an awesome graduation for a person that had
worked very hard for that wonderful moment that could never be taken
away from her. And yes, she is Patricia as Patti had grown up now
and realized that giving up on yourself was not all it was cracked up
to be. You never know what you might be able to do until you
try. And sometimes you may have to try harder than others.
And others may even need to try harder than you.
XIII.
Conclusion (1981)
What
came of this : Karen
Carpenter (Edna) and I (Enoch) came together as best we could under the
circumstances. No Methuselah, Lamech, or Noah and after thinking
a bit, no Rahula either. I (Lord
Metatron) would definitely rather spend eternity wanting to make out
with Karen (Lady Metatron) than have Karen spend an eternity wiping
dirt off my cheek. Karen also pronounced Enoch as Ē nō ch (long
e, long o, not a k but a ch sound as in chip as Karen said that one
time). As far as I know,
Karen has been the only one with a regressed memory of Edna,
Methuselah's mother / mom and therefore I feel her pronounciation of
Enoch carries more weight than anyone else's pronounciation or
mispronounciation as the case may be.
Buddha is another story as are Karen and Ace too. Isn't that what
life is about, stories?
What
happened : I did not
hear about it that I remember. I
probably did hear about it, but I most likely blanked it out of my
mind. If it was over the school anouncements, it would have been
Jay
Felli's voice. I would have been in Corning, NY at the
time. Karen
died. Karen's heart just stopped.
Karen said to me on the day
before that her visitor would be starting soon and maybe Karen mixed up
pills or possibly was just too underweight to deal with her visitor
starting. Karen usually took Midol for her
visitor. Also, menstrual cycles usually cause nausea and vomiting
so taking ipecac syrup sounds a bit far-fetched. Also, no ipecac
syrup container let alone containers as accused anywhere to be
found. Karen was 108 pounds when she
died, not 80 or 84 as another said. That
rules out Karen being too underweight.
Karen was nude (actually, Karen told me she preferred the word nude
over naked) when her mother found her in her brother’s walk–in
closet. Karen weighed herself once a week (in the nude) on Friday
mornings and she had hidden the scales in her brother’s room.
Karen was nude so not sure where the red jogging suit or the Ativan
(sedative?) came from in the autopsy report.
No
foul play or
such. It was
just Karen's time. Karen's time (number) was up and that was
that.
Who knows how long Karen may have been dead before her mother found
her, five seconds, five minutes, not too long, but Karen was
dead. They took her to the hospital rather
than
bring the coroner to the house and all that mess. Even with a
celebrity, they don't bring a person out of a house with a sheet over
them on a stretcher unless they are dead. You can't suffocate a
corpse. No marks or anything
to
indicate a struggle or foul play. Like said, Karen's heart just
stopped before Karen's mom, Agnes, found her. And the reason why
Karen's mother found her is because Karen had a court date to sign
divorce papers and was not downstairs yet. Cardiac arrest;
Karen's heart stopped. Karen died.
When my
grandfather, Zeke,
passed away in 1986, my uncle
Gary was an EMT at the time and arrived at my grandfather's house with
my grandfather motionless on the couch. Almost immediately, my
uncle
said, "I think I just felt a pulse" and they brought the stretcher in
and took my grandfather away. Like my uncle Gary said to me, "I
didn't
actually get a pulse, but if they pronounce him dead at the hospital or
in the ambulance then it isn't as messy. If a person is found
dead in
a house then they have to bring in the coroner and the coroner has to
try and determine time of death and the cause of death and the body
can't be moved and all
this other stuff which just gets to be a big headache and a bigger mess
than it needs to be especially for an older person. I had a
couple
calls where after the husband or wife was declared dead, the wife or
husband of the dead person had a heart attack themselves on the
spot. So if we can
get the person to the hospital before declaring them dead, especially
around older people, the better chance we have of saving someone else
if something more happens. About the only
time a person is declared dead on the scene
is if the person lived alone, a
probable crime scene or the paramedic is a
rookie and doesn't know any better."
II.
What is meant by Karen's heart just stopped?
(April
8, 2020) Good
question. It has
been
kind of explained to me what happened only I forgot one part of
this.
Anyway, I will try to explain as best as possible so that most people
can understand this, myself included. Karen's Toxicology Report
was
very interesting for several reasons but the biggest thing that should
stand out (and was overlooked by the coroner or whoever prepared the
report) is that a condition known as hyperglycemia (high blood sugar)
was present. Not a slight, but HIGH. A level of 800 or
higher is
considered very high and a normal level is around 100. Karen's
level
was 1106. Over ten times normal and a definite cause for concern
as a
level of 800 or more can cause a person to become dizzy and pass
out.
On top of this was another cause for concern, Karen's very low
potassium level. The third part of this is what I forgot and I
can not
remember if it was sodium, iron, nitrogen, or such, but the third part
was very low as well in Karen's Toxicology Report. As the numbers
indicated, Karen's heart stopped. Honestly. That was what
happened.
It has the nickname of "the Death Spike" and is fatal in all cases
where this happens as this natural process was what was used as the
basis for 'lethal injection'. The 'spike' is because the body
sees
something as being wrong and out of balance, so the body produces and
releases an enormous amount of glycol (blood sugar) into the system in
a short period. About the best way I can explain this in layman's
terms is that Karen's body suddenly produced enough internal glycerine
tablets to stop a rhinoceros' heart as it was explained to me.
Glycerine tablets (nitro glycerine) are what are used to lower blood
pressure and slow the heart. The body naturally has a way of
producing
this. With the low potassium and other (sodium?) level, it was
apparent that Karen's body had produced enough glycerine (tablets) in
her system that Karen's heart had stopped and there was no way that
anyone could have got her heart to start beating again on its
own. The
person explaining this to me also explained that this is usually very
sudden and painless. The person just passes out and dies within 5
minutes as their heart just stops beating. No chest pains or
such.
No
physical damage to the heart. But the process is a natural
process
that can happen in certain people unexpectedly and without
warning. It
can also be a gradual process too with levels adjusting slowly over
time. If Karen had been a rhinoceros or even an elephant, Karen
did
not stand a chance. And it was not really diet or medicines or
weight
or physical damage or such that caused this either.
But that was also why this doctor asked me if I knew what
Karen might have had to eat the night before. Karen had not said
that
to me, so I didn't know. But according to other sources, Karen
had
eaten out at a restaurant the night before and not sure what she
ordered (spaghetti possibly?, no idea really).
Karen's body
had
somehow sent the wrong message at the wrong time internally and that
was that. Instant internal lethal injection. Gone.
Suddenly and
unexpectedly but gone. Nobody's fault. These chemical
imbalances were
also probably the reason why Karen had been having arrhythmia
(irregular heartbeat) over the years. Not really a heart attack,
coronary, aneurysm, stroke (brain), or such, so not really sure what to
call this or what category it might fit under.
(Added
on July 3, 2020) And about the autopsy report. What a mess that
is. (A) EMETINE CARDIOTOXICITY DUE TO AS AS A CONSEQUENCE OF (B)
ANOREXIA
NERVOSA Anatomical Summary: I. Pulmonary edema and congestion II.
Anorexia Nervosa (clinical). III. Cachexia. IV. Distended abdomen. V.
Dehydration. VI. Congestion of liver and spleen. VII. Hyperplasia of
porta lymph nodes. VIII. Distention of bowel. A break down is
that
later Karen's heart is listed as being normal. Karen has fluid in
her lungs
(I),
Karen weighs 108 pounds which is considered average for a 5'4" female
which kind of negates the Anorexia Nervosa (II), Cachexia is a medical
term for low birth weight or a preemie but no aneurysm found (III),
Distended abdomen (stomach is sticking out) (IV), Dehydration (side
affect of diabetes/hyperglycemia, shhh) (V), Congestion of liver and
spleen (VI), Hyperplasia of portal lymph nodes (slight swelling of
lymph node under jaw, left side, note, not the
thyroid) (VII), Distension of bowel which
explains distended abdomen in #IV (VIII). In the toxicology
report
later
it lists Karen's blood sugar level as being over 1100 (a person's
average blood sugar level is around 100 so 11 times higher than average
yet hyperglycemia [high blood sugar level] is missed by the
coroner).
Most people pass out at a blood sugar level around 800 to 900. A
person put to death by 'lethal injection' usually has a blood sugar
level between 1300 and 1450. Yes, 100%, a blood sugar level above
1100
will cause a person's heart to stop beating. The Emetine level
was .46
ml which is roughly the equivalent of a small drop (if that) and as it
has never been studied as to how long emetine may stay in a person, no
idea how long this small drop of emetine may have been in Karen's
system but the drop is listed as 'residua (leftover)' opposed to
'active' or 'recent'. Cardiotoxicity of a normal heart?
That would
actually be a blood sugar level over 1100 which would cause the heart
to stop beating but that would be a toxicity to the nerves that tell
the heart to beat and not actually toxic to the heart itself.
Karen's heart and aorta
are
later listed as being normal. Oops. And also (for a little
levity
here), Karen also had athlete's foot (tinea pedis) which
she figured she had picked up from taking showers after gym class when
she was in middle school in Connecticut which was why Karen opted to
take marching band instead of gym class when Karen started going to
high school in Downey California. But unfortunately Karen was not
able
to tell the coroner this so that the coroner could add that information
to the autopsy report. And Karen had one
cavity that was filled too (As Karen
later said, “All natural. Just little old me. The way God
intended me
to be plus that one filled cavity because I didn’t brush my teeth good
enough after eating DOTS candy at a movie theatre”). And to add
here, Karen was found on her brother’s floor near his walk-in
closet. Karen usually weighed herself in the nude on Friday
mornings and I am fairly sure that the weight scales had been hidden in
Richard’s room on that Friday. Someone grabbed a red jump suit
(most likely out of Richard’s closet). Inside this jump suit
(that probably had not been worn since most likely the late 1970’s) was
found a bottle of I believe Antivax. Who was
taking pills for sleep problems? What room was Karen found
in? Karen usually wore pastel colors, so red jump suit? How
long had that jump suit been sitting in Richard’s walk-in closet before
one of the paramedics, that noticed Karen in the nude, grabbed the jump
suit so that Karen might have something to wear after recovery (which
Karen didn’t recover but it is the thought here that counts).
Yes, fiction writers taking information out of context yet again to try
and promote some whacked out story that just does not sound right upon
closer examination of the facts. And another fact, lymph node,
not thyroid. And a bigger note too. Karen had told me that
she had her tattoo of a rose removed (the needle
marks near the groin area as that was where the tattoo had been
located)
I believe around mid January 1983
and during the process, Karen had contracted jaundice
(hepatitus). The lump in her lymph node was because of her tattoo
being removed and a ‘dirty’ needle. I believe it also says that
Karen’s thyroid (around the voice box) had been damaged too. They
had put Karen on a life support machine and as stated in the autopsy
report, the breathing tube from that machine had been left
behind. The damage to her thyroid was physical and from the
breathing tube of the life support machine.
III.
February 3, 1983, Karen's phone call to me (@ 8 PM EDST or @ 5 PM
Pacific I believe)
On the
day before, February
3rd, I had got a phone call from Karen
telling me that her divorce came through and asking me to take an
overnight bag with a suit, tie, shoes, birth
certificate, toothbrush, and something to sleep in into school with me
the next day and
that Karen would be coming by the school to pick me up. I
also added deodorant too. The
phone call started out with me being downstairs in the basement playing
drums I believe to records and my mother or father yells down, "Ace,
you have a phone call. Someone named Karen." Now, mind you,
I rarely
got phone calls, maybe once a year and I am like, "Karen who?"
And my
parent was like, "How should I know, just pick up the phone." So
I
stopped playing drums and answered the phone in a cranky voice, "Hello,
who is this?" And the voice on the other end goes, "That's a fine
how
do you do, I ought to hang up on you right now. Karen who.
This is Karen,
remember me? I sure am not going to tell your parents who I am
and I
shouldn't have to tell you either. This is Karen, you know,
Karen."
And I was like, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first and I rarely
get a phone call. Hold on a second because I have a feeling
someone is
still on the other line." And then I hear a click and then, "OK,
I
think we're good. How've you been?" And Karen was like, "My
divorce
goes through tomorrow and I need you to... (and then Karen talks about
picking me up the next day and us eloping)".
Karen then goes, "Was that you playing? You sound a little
off." And I was like, "Yeah, just a second..." And then I
went over
to the drums and played a little bit then I kind of shut down and
turned off the record player. Then I picked up the phone and
Karen was
like, "Was that what I think it was?" And I was like, "Yeah,
monotone. I have been playing one-handed lately with my left hand
to
make my right hand jealous so that maybe my right hand might learn to
cooperate more. It's not really working though.
As you can tell I'm healing the stick on the snare which makes a dead
hit sound and sounds a bit off. I'm working on it though."
And Karen
was like,
"Monotone. I can't even do that. Only thirteen people can
do that, well I
guess
fourteen now. You'll have to show me some time." I
then say, "There is a secret to it that I
stumbled upon by accident.
It's more about stick control than speed. You have to keep the
sticks
low to the drum head and not too much pressure because you don't want
the sticks to bounce off the drum head too much. I'll definitely
show you some time. Is
Richard
going to be our best man?" And Karen said, "Actually, Richard is
a
little upset at me now. I have been playing a prank on him about
me
getting another manager because I need an excuse as to why I am flying
out tomorrow. I have been telling my friends that I have plans to
get
another manager too so that Richard doesn't get suspicious. I
realize
that after we get married that some people might not be too keen on you
being my husband because of your age, so I am using this manager story
as a reason why I am flying out to New York instead of telling people I
am planning to elope with you. It is going really well so
far. But
Richard thinks that I am looking to replace him so Richard is a bit
upset at me lately, but he'll get over it." And I was like, "Oh
what a
tangled web we weave, but I understand somewhat. But still, you
know how every time we try to be sneaky, something goes haywire.
You have me kind of worried now. Has anyone asked
who
this great manager is yet?" And Karen was like, "Not yet and
that's
kind of another great part of my plan. I'll just tell people that
Richard is my great manager. It'll work. OK, I know it's
kind of a
flimsy plan, but it can't be helped at the last minute. It's all
I
got. If I told them I was wanting to get married again after all
that I went through with Tom they would have me locked up and throw
away the key. I also took most of my money out of my accounts
just in case Tom tried to pull a fast one after signing the divorce
papers. Can’t be too cautious you know. I stuck the money
in a shoe box in my closet. Anyway, after I get
back I can explain it all to
them. After
all the stuff I went through with Tom, I know that everyone would be
really worried about me getting married again so soon. I really
want
to get married to you though. I've waited so long for this.
I miss
you so much." And I was like, "I miss you too, but what makes you
think I really want to marry you? It seems
like you've been burning the candle at both ends
and in the middle and sowing your wild oats all over the place.
But
really you're special to me and not because of your career and such but
because of all our wonderful memories we have together. Remember
when
we tried sneaking out the back door? OK,
you're right. I've
been
miserable without you too. You got me. I do." And
Karen was like, "I
do too. I like the sound of that." And I was like, "Me
too. It
sounds great and so do you saying it. I can't wait until we get
to say it to each other in person. I hope this all works
out."
Karen was like, "Me too, otherwise I may need another manager.
But then too, you could earn your keep. How hard can it be
answering the phone once in a while and say yes or no? That's
about all I've ever
seen managers do." Karen also mentioned talking with Phil Ramone
and that Phil wanted to work with Karen again. And I was like, “I
bet after the last time. What was it a half million and he took
all your good stuff and gave it to Michael Jackson and left you with
not much. OK, tell you what, as your new manager Phil can produce
you so long as we get the cash up front. Do you think we could
live off five million because you know Phil tried to ruin your career
before so if we let him back in again we need to consider your career
being over if that makes sense.” And Karen was like, “Perfect
sense, but five million is a bit low really, we probably ought to just
start out at ten million and if he says no, it jumps to fifteen and
more each time.” And I was like, “Now you’re talking. Get
while the getting’s good. And if he don’t want to get got, then
we’re better off anyway without him. There are plenty of other
fish in the sea. And besides, you get tired of being used as
shark bait all the time.” And Karen was like, “You got that
right.” Karen also said
that she had told Tom over the phone that she didn't care and would
give Tom a million if he would just sign the papers and get out of her
life.
Karen also said that she would never put that in
writing, but she was figuring that Tom was greedy enough to "take the
bait" and sign. Karen
then said, "I never told him a million what, just a million."
I am pretty sure that I said, "OK, so Tom gets a
couple down jackets, a couple down pillows, and a down blanket.
Maybe just a down mattress even. A million duck feathers.
Even better, how about a million thank yous for getting out of your
life and not trying to make you feel miserable all of the time?
Thank you; thank you; thank you; thank you...
Just make a tape and he can play it as many times as he wants.
That's cool." And Karen was like,
"Actually, Tom said he wasn't
interested in the million and he said that if I wanted the divorce that
bad that he would just sign the papers and be done with it. I
think
it's about the only nice thing I can remember he's done for me since
we've been married." And I was like, "After
all
the stuff with Tom,
if you
want a prenuptual agreement, I understand and I definitely would sign
it. You know that all I want is just you anyway, and if you
didn't want me anymore; I would leave; no problems. I'd give you
the clothes off my back so that when I left I would have a place to
stay after getting arrested for indecent exposure." And I am
pretty sure that Karen said, "Who was your cell mate again?" And
I was like, "Bruce" (Note, I never was in
prison or such, so 'Brooth' aka Bruce
was an inside joke between us about being butt raped in prison from
1979 after the 'Max' incident.
Yes, Karen and my odd
sense of humor again). And she was like,
"That's right. Bruce
is going to have to find someone else because you are mine. I
figured you would say something like
that which is why I plan on getting a house with
a big yard and a tall
fence that the neighbors can't see over. That way you can just
wander around the yard until you're ready to come back in. I'll
just grab some popcorn and enjoy the show. Honestly, with what
we've been through, we both know that you aren't capable of doing
anything that would hurt my feelings, let alone get the cops called on
you. I am not going to let you get away that easily. I had
thought about a prenup, like you
said, because of Tom, but you're not Tom. Tom couldn't break my
heart. If you and I got a divorce, it would honestly break my
heart and I know it would break yours too. I honestly thought
about it and after thinking, I don't want a prenup because I honestly
don't ever want to think about going through another marriage or
divorce again after we get married." And I am pretty sure I said
back, "I agree. For life and forever." And I am very sure
that Karen said, "I like what you just said and I definitely
agree. Now that we got that out of the way..."
And then I was like, "I got a confession to make because you'd find
out anyway because we can see each other's thoughts, but when I was
little I had the mumps twice on both sides and at the start of school
this year they forced me to take the Measles and Mumps shot and I'm
probably sterile." And Karen was like, "You're not getting out of
it
that easily. I've heard about that and we'll just put some ice
packs
around your testes. It'll be a bit awkward at first but we'll get
used to it. You know us, we'll figure it out." And I was
like,
"Thanks. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Ice makes it nice or
whatever..."
Karen told me that she had a dog and that she wanted to
make it perfectly clear that I was not going to be allowed to spoil her
dog. Karen was like, "I know you and you're not going to spoil
(him /
her)." And I was like, "Please, just a little. You know I
love dogs,
not that way, but you know." And Karen giggled and said, "I know,
but
no. You are not spoiling (him / her); that's final. (He /
She) sleeps
on the floor." And I was like, "I'm sitting
here naked talking, how about you?" And Karen was like, "Me
too." And then I go, "You and me make horrible liars but it was
worth a shot." And we both started laughing. Karen asked
me if I "drove stick" and I said "No,
not yet."
And Karen was like, "Well my car is stick so I'll have my cousin Wendy
pick me up and get me at the airport (and I am pretty sure Karen said
"in Rochester") but maybe I'll
teach you later." I told her that I would
need to drop
off my car at the house before we left and that she could follow me
there. We
would
then take a blood test together and wait in a hotel room for two days
and then see a Justice of the Peace. Karen
said that she wanted our marriage to be just plain and simple like
us. We agreed. No big fanfare or such, just us. It
wasn't because of her previous marriage or such, it was
just that we were not really wanting anything elaborate
ourselves. A
big wedding just wasn't us. Karen also
warned me that
her visitor (menstrual cycle) would be starting soon. We also
talked about Karen's "public image" and that Karen was tired of the
business trying to push this 'sex appeal' and 'sex sells' stuff.
Karen was wanting to stay with her 'girl next door' image. Karen
was never one to show off and such and she was always body conscious to
begin with. Karen wanted to stay with being just plain Karen with
the freckles. Karen was tired of being thought of as a 'barbie
doll' and wanted to be thought of as someone that was more than just
looks. I commented back that I always thought Karen was her "most
beautiful as the girl next door" anyway and that the 'sexy' image
made Karen seem 'trashy'. Karen knew I was never the jealous type
anyway and I wanted Karen to appear sexy and desirable and beautiful,
not cheap and trashy and just out for a good time. But business
is business. And Karen and I both agreed
that Karen's public image was Karen's own business to do with as she
wished and it was best if I just stayed in the background.
Karen said, "If asked, I liked your most
beautiful as the
girl next door comment, but try to stay away from that trashy talk
stuff. I know what you meant, but others might take it the wrong
way." And I was like, "I know what you mean and I agree.
Keep it
simple in public. Keep it positive and avoid put downs and such
that
can be taken the wrong way." And she was like, "I know you'll do
alright. You've always had a good head on your shoulders about
that kind of stuff." Karen
also talked about being in New
York for about a year and her experience there.
And before the rest of this here I need to try and sort
some stuff out that Karen and I talked about coming up here.
First, as
far as Karen herself, in this, some very strange things happened that
Karen talked about and because Karen didn't know all the details, Karen
couldn't say for sure just that she knew something wasn't right about
Itchie and Levenkron. And Itchie and Levenkron here as Karen was
caught in the middle of something and neither her nor I knew the rest
of this that is coming up at the time and I only had what Karen had
told me in this conversation to go on here. I did, however, get
some
information indirectly, but without a direct answer from Itchie or
Levenkron (which won't ever happen) I can say what happened, but I
still don't know exactly the reason(s) why only there are some major
problems there. First, later Karen mentions the pill incident
when she
checked into Levenkron's clinic with just Karen, Itchie and Levenkron
there. Karen is correct in that they weren't her pills. Not
mentioned
by Karen (as it probably didn't happen) was other pill finding events
(as elsewhere since then was a mention by Itchie saying she found pills
in Karen's room and took them to Levenkron. Karen didn't have
pills
outside aspirins, Pamprins or Midols in New York City). What has
also
popped up has been that supposedly the name on these pill bottles was
Karen Burris. Note, Karen never had identification for a Karen
Burris
and to pick up prescriptions in the 1980s, you needed
identification.
On top of that is the date on that pill bottle of August 1981 and the
story of Karen saying that she took 10 pills a day.
Bullsh*t. There
is no way a pill bottle dated August 1981 would have a prescription for
a Karen Burris at 10 pills a day lasting until January 1982 or
such.
Karen did tell me she was forced to sign a paper about it when she
checked into the clinic in January 1982 (and on that paper was a
listing of six items that Karen had no idea what those six items were)
and Karen says later that she was also threatened to be taken to
Bellevue Hospital if she tried to say anything so she kept quiet and
just signed the paper but also since she was being accused of being a
liar if she spoke up, Karen said she became a liar as Karen was one if
you were going to accuse her of something, she was going to do it
rather than being falsely accused. And another thing, there
honestly
were not any pills or such in Karen's condo or her room after she
passed away. I am pretty sure that Richard checked and I know
that
Karen's place was clean. With Karen passing away suddenly and
such,
Richard wanted to make sure that if there was something that it was
found that might explain why Karen passed away so suddenly. There
wasn't anything to find unfortunately or fortunately depending on how
you want to look at this. But with finding something, Karen
passing
away suddenly would be easier to explain, but honestly, there wasn't
anything there so it was a bit more difficult to accept the suddenness
I
guess you could say. There wasn't any cover up or such as if
there had
been ipecac or such found, then that could help explain it, but like
said, nothing. Karen's condo and her room were clean.
Richard's red
jogging suit had the AntiVax or AntiVan or whatever from the late 1970s
in the pocket. As far as Itchie, Karen was around Itchie to make
sure
that they didn't try to sneak off and release Karen's solo album
somehow behind Karen's back. After so many incidents (1979 to
1982),
Karen did not trust Itchie or Phil at all and as Richard had said to
Karen in mid May 1979, "in business, you keep your friends close but
your enemies closer so you know what they are up to". Karen did
NOT
want her solo album released as she didn't want to deal with the
adverse publicity as Karen was not looking to ever leave her brother or
the Carpenters group or hear rumors in the tabloids or newspapers about
it either. Karen had told me that in 1982, her and Itchie had an
argument and during that argument Karen asked Itchie the “64 thousand
dollar question” as it was called back then. Karen said she just
came out and asked Itchie if Itchie had been trying to get Karen fired
from A&M Records. Itchie never answered that question
according to Karen on February 3, 1983. So, yeah, some really
screwed up and messy situations
here
that Karen was dealing with. As far as Levenkron, you have to be
able
to prove it. Had Levenkron never came forward after Karen passed
away,
it would have been a moot issue. But Levenkron did go public and
stuff
between a patient and a client is supposed to stay between that patient
and client. That was broken in 1993 beyond repair with Levenkron
doing
the "A Current Affair" show. With the patient / client
confidentiality
broken by Levenkron there in 1993, hopefully privately Richard sued
Levenkron's a** off over that (and since it would be a legal
proceeding, kept quiet and should remain that way whether a lawsuit was
actually filed or not). But yes, one big mess here and I know
Karen
felt stuck between a rock and a hard place with Levenkron and Itchie
and Phil. The truth lies in honesty and there is never a big mess
with
honesty. But information one way checks out whereas other
information
is a mess and I have seen stories change on one side, but not the
other. Truths check out, stories don't
check out and stories tend to change over time.
After going over the autopsy
later here, the truth about Karen's room and condo checks out.
The
stories about Karen RECENTLY taking pills and ipecac don't check
out.
The ipecac was in Karen's liver and not in her blood so it was not
recent (and no one knows how long that stuff stays in the system, but
with it being only in the liver, it was not recent and could have been
anywhere from a couple weeks to 3 months or even longer before, but not
recent within the last week or so as no emetine was found in her blood,
just her liver and had gone through her system). It
is what it is, a mess to try and sort out here.
But what I feel needs to be stated by me here is that there
were definite problems as far as this situation with Karen and Itchie
and Levenkron. I would honestly hope that this is an isolated
incident
and with Karen's celebrity status involved, I would hope that stories
and trying to spread rumors and such that don't pan out would stop and
not be attempted again. An author (not a doctor or MD or PhD)
which
raises more eyebrows on my part here considering these questionable
circumstances and hoping lessons learned as I am not liking what I see
with this mess but it is what it is and rather than blame or such, just
hoping that no one should ever have to go through something again like
what I wrote about here. And honestly, had
Levenkron never gone on "A Current Affair" in 1993, I would have never
felt the need to write this and I would have left this part out which
is the real mess here because as stated, information is supposed to be
kept confidential and it looks bad to me for the leaker when that
information isn't kept confidential. And
then the Itchie stuff on top of
this increases my skepticism even more. As far as Karen and
Synthroid. You are kidding, right? You're not? Well,
let me put it
this way, hypothyroidism is marked by fatigue where the thyroid is not
producing enough hormone and thusly the heart does not beat as
fast.
Hyperthyroidism is where there is an overabundance of thyroid hormone
being produced which would cause the heart to beat faster.
Synthroid
and other type hormone supplements for the thyroid are for treating
hypothyroidism. Taking Synthroid would speed up the heart rate
for a
short while, not stop it. Karen's heart stopped. NO, Karen
had not
been taking Synthroid or other such medications if her heart stopped as
the heart rate would elevate slightly but then return to normal not
just stop. Now
back to the
program here. Karen said
something
like, "I was in your neck of the woods and I had an apartment in New
York City for a year and I was looking
to see the author, Steven Levenkron. It was
all over the papers. I was
looking to sow my wild oats, so to speak, and I still
remember you saying that to me. That was funny. Probably my
third
best memory of you. My second best of
course is when
you sang Close To You with the trumpet sounds and all of that.
That was
great. But my greatest was when we had our first real kiss, not
that junk that happened before.
I just melted. I really loved his book and
I
wanted to meet him. He is nothing like his book would
suggest. He is
a manipulator. He is more of a manipulator
than Thomas ever thought of being. He is a
master manipulator. When I first checked
in he dumped the contents of my purse out and you know my purse, I just
had a couple pads, a few aspirins, a couple Pamprin, some laxatives, my
wallet and pictures and tissues and makeup and stuff. Nothing bad
really. You know me. I have nothing to hide. Next
thing I know, I'm a kleptomaniac that I
don't know about and it
looks like I had been raiding
people's medicine cabinets while sleepwalking as
well evidently. I had no idea
what this stuff was, but I have a list from the paperwork he gave me
and we can look it up sometime." And I was like, "Do they have
the iris system out there, because I have an iris library card now if
needed." And Karen said, "Yeah we have iris out here too.
We can try it when you get out here. It should work. I know
there were
only three of us in that room and I know I didn't put that stuff in
there." And I was
like, "What about the
hallway or the elevator?" And Karen was like, "No one in the
hallway, but there were a couple men behind us
in the elevator on the way up but they were back a little ways and not
right behind us. Steven then told me that
if I tell anyone about this that
he
will call me a liar in front of the whole group and sign papers to have
me committed
to Bellevue. And you know me when people accuse me of
things. I'm not
going to let people accuse me of things if they aren't true. He
threatened to call me a liar so I became a liar.
He
strung me along for a year and I finally got my
visit from him. After my visit from Steven, and he let me call
him Steven, I left about three and a half
months
ago after being in the hospital again.
[Somebody] dared me to drink a case (six pack?) of ipecac and you know
me and my dares. No one is going
to call me chicken. So I ended up in the hospital before I
left. I can only imagine what the people
there thought about me
in the therapy sessions. I just made up a bunch of stuff for the
therapy sessions. People aren't supposed to talk about that stuff
outside of the group meetings and so I had a little fun with it and
made up some wild stories. So if you hear some rumors about me
that
don't seem true, they aren't. Just consider the source and if the
source is someone from the looney bin, you'll know.
I also had a breakdown while I was there. A meltdown
actually. It was supposed to be a meeting
with just me and my
family but Itchie knew about it too. I don't know how Itchie knew
about it, but she did. It was just
awful. And of course they tried to blame
it all on
my family again and they tried to force me and my mom to hug
again. Another setup and of course they keep trying to
blame
my family for it. Like I said back when, my mom is not a hugger;
my
mom is a thinker. But what do I know? I just started crying
because
the way they treated my mom and my brother was horrible. I
didn't blame them for leaving after that. I
wished I could have left with them too, but I'd signed the papers.
I figured Steven would have
me committed to Bellevue if I told him and Itchie what I really thought
of them after what they did to me and my family that day. I
just kept my mouth shut after that. My
family left and I was all alone again with no one that really cared
about me. After my meltdown, I went to a very deep, dark place
and I didn't
care anymore. I don't suggest going there. It is not a good
place.
Evil Karen lives there. There is nothing good that survives
there.
Not even you." And I was like, "I was there with you. I
know. Evil Ace, remember?" And Karen was like, "How could
you be there, what have you ever done that was evil?" And I was
like, "Remember Max against the wall and all that, then my backing Phil
and Itchie into a corner so that you stayed until the end of school,
and of course Tom avoiding us at the graduation ceremonies. I
know my mom was a virgin when I was born but how
soon we forget that, like you, I'm not exactly Mr. goody two shoes all
the
time." And Karen was like, "I remember now.
The arm that reached in and pulled me out.
That WAS you
that brought me
back. Thanks." And I was like, "Don't mention it.
Really, don't. I like the surprised looks on people's faces when
they meet Evil Ace for the first time and become scared
sh*tless." And Karen was like,
"Don't worry, I won't mention it. I like seeing the surprised
looks on their faces too. Anyway, after that I was focused on
just do whatever and
get out of there.
It's all marketing and advertising and that kind of stuff with slogans
and
gimmicks and such and none of that stuff works with me. I'm not
really
a motivated person if you remember correctly.
What finally got me to stop was when I thought back to
you and
when you quit smoking. You just came right out and said that you
needed to quit because you had better things to do than waste your time
smelling like an ashtray so you quit smoking.
I was so proud of you which is why I started crying that
one time if you remember. You chose me and I never asked you to
choose; you just did it on your own. And I was so proud of you
because you chose me. Not the superstar, me. You wanted to
be with me." And I
was like, "That was a real no brainer. I just looked at you and I
wanted to kiss and hold you so bad and I had this stupid thing sticking
out of my mouth, so I quit. It was that easy." Then she
said, "I realized I had
better
things to do than to worry about losing weight and ending up in the
looney bin again, so I quit worrying
about losing
weight. It's been working so far. I told myself that I am
only going to step on the scales once a week and I'm sticking to
it. I weigh myself on Friday mornings. Anyway, Steven
told me that he wasn't interested in me and it
showed. I got
more satisfaction from my little pinky than from him. Don't
worry, he
doesn't hold a candle compared to you." And if you know me I
couldn't
help but say, "Can I hold the candle too. It sounds like
fun.
Twisting it around and around and in and out and..." And she
started to
laugh a
little over the phone and she was like, "No candles. No
artificial
ingredients or preservatives. Just little old me. You know
me.
Remember the auditorium?" And I was like, "How could I forget
that. We knocked over the cymbals and then...
Front row center. We forgot where we were and then someone opened
the door and we both had that oops look on our faces because we forgot
where we
were. That works
too I guess. Are you sure?" And Karen was like, "I'm
positive." And then I was like, "What about
a jack hammer to make your
teeth rattle?" And Karen was like, "No. My teeth are fine
and I want
them to stay that way." And we both laughed again.
And I was like, "I miss seeing you laugh." And Karen was like, "I
miss you too, but we'll see each other tomorrow."
I
also
asked
Karen if she wanted me to bring a bib for when we drooled in our sleep
at the hotel and she said her favorite words, "Smart ass". We
also sang, "Row row row your boat" together over the phone for a little
bit. Karen
also
told me that her and Richard were going to start touring again
soon so it would be a short honeymoon.
Karen never showed
up. The last part of our conversation was about Karen’s big
secret. Karen’s biggest secret was that when she met people she
would tell them a secret and see who ‘blabbed’ about it. Karen
learned this from her mom. If someone blabbed, no more secrets
and Karen would hide stuff from those that blabbed or, like her
husband, those who weren’t honest with her to begin with, Karen would
hide stuff from them too. The last part of our phone call before
Karen hung up was a bit odd. Karen said, “I can tell by your
voice and you can probably tell by my voice that I’m a little nervous
too. Like you, I remember that when we try to be sneaky,
something always seems to go wrong. You know about me and my
secrets and you are the one who holds my secrets as I have about 10
secrets from Richard now which you know. The shoe box in the
closet, my hair dresser, us eloping, my Bible stash, that past life
stuff, the therapy stuff, Max and Tom. Actually, you know all but
but one or two of my secrets [slight pause] thinking about it, you know
them too don’t you?” And I was like, “Yup, but don’t worry those
are safe with me too.” And then Karen continued, “If something
should happen to me or go wrong, you know how I feel about blabbing, I
give you permission to blab if needed. I leave that up to
you. As you know, I trust you and I feel you wouldn’t tell unless
it was necessary. Is that clear?” And I was like, “Crystal
clear.” And then I said, “We’ve talked a while so we probably
ought to go so you and I can get some rest for our day tomorrow.
Who am I kidding, we’re both excited and we both aren’t going to sleep
anyway and we both know it.” And Karen was like, “I’m fine.
I’m a little tired because my visitor will be starting soon but I’ll be
fine.” And then Karen and I both at the same time, “Love you
too. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” And we both hung
up. The area code for the call would have been (607). The
area code for Karen's cousin Wendy and Lois the secretary would have
been (607) too.
IV.
February 4, 1983 my recollection
I was at school in Corning
NY and I had got a call from Karen
the day
before. The secretary, Lois, said she had got a
call from
Karen
as well and that she was the one that gave Karen my phone number to
call as it was after school hours. The secretary at school saw me
in
the hallway during lunch and called me into the office and asked, "Is
that Karen on the TV?" as the secretary saw it on the news on TV in the
office. The news clip was showing the ambulance with Karen under
the
sheet being transported and I believe after that it said something
about neighbors seeing a tall lanky unidentified man running down the
street afterwards (but it has been a while). And I think I said
something like, "well it looks like she won't be picking me up later
after school." And then I said something like, "Why are all the
kids
out in front of the trophy case?" And the secretary said, "Don't
you
remember, that's the couple's hangout and you and Karen started that
during final exams in 1981?" And I was like, "I kind of forgot
about
that stuff. It's been a while." And she was like, "Sorry
about Karen.
she was such a sweetheart and I know you two were very close. Are
you
going to be all right?" And I think I said something like, "It's
been
so long since Karen and I were around each other that I've kind of
forgot what all right was like. I guess I'll manage. I
probably ought
to be heading to class, Thanks for letting me know. Are you
going to
be all right?" And she was like, "I'm fine, but you look kind of
green
around the gills." And I was like, "I'll survive I guess.
How much
worst could it get?" And then I left and went to my next class
after
lunch.
I am pretty sure later that day (about
95%) but
it could have
possibly been the Monday afterwards (maybe 5% if that). Anyway, I
got paged down to
the
office and when I came in there was Karen's brother Richard.
Richard
was furious and the minute I came in he was like, "Well, it looks like
your little plot was foiled. I pulled the plug on her a little
while
ago. How do you feel about that?" And I believe I was like,
"What
plot?" And Richard was like, "You know what plot. I pulled
the plug
and it ain't gonna happen. They had these tubes down her throat
and I
knew she was done. Even if they had been able to revive her, the
tubes
down her throat would have made it so that she couldn't sing any
more.
I did it. I pulled the plug on her. She's gone. How
does that make
you feel?" And I said, "I can imagine how tough that was for
you. She
would have been alright without talking or singing, but I honestly
think that Karen would not have wanted to spend the rest of her life
hooked up to a machine." And I raised my voice and I said again I
believe, "What plot?" And I am pretty sure Richard said, "Come
on.
Bring it on. Get good and mad so I can have a good reason to
finish
you off. I know about your plot to take advantage of my sister
and be
her manager and take her for everything she's got. Well it ain't
gonna
happen now is it? I pulled the plug. It's over. Your
little plot is
done." And I was like, "OK, I know we're both hurting right now
and
you're angry and I'm numb because we both lost our best friend, but
before either of us do something really stupid..." And the next
part I
am kind of still trying to remember but I continued with something
like, "How am I going to be her manager when I haven't even graduated
high school yet? Didn't you think it was odd that she never said
who
this big manager was? Karen was playing a joke on you and the big
manager she was talking about was you. Karen and I were going to
elope
and she didn't want you to know about it for whatever reason.
I told her to tell you about it, but obviously she didn't. I
don't
know why. I didn't get a chance to ask
her." And Richard
was like, "I
can see your point, and that explains her plane tickets to Las Vegas,
but how does the fact that I pulled the plug on her
make you feel?" And I believe I was like, "How does it make me
feel?
Terrible. You got to see her. I
couldn't write to her, talk to her or see her because she was married.
How do you think that makes me feel? It
hurts. Oh God it hurts." And
the waterworks (crying) started with me and I
think I put my head down in my arms. Not a
major cry, but
enough to have Lois, the secretary, hand me some tissues and say
something like, "Now see what you did to him." or something like
that. And I think I said something back to
Lois like, "He's fine. He just lost his sister and he needs to
say
what he needs to say. I need to say what I need to say too" or
something like that. And while Lois and I
were doing that, I believe Richard shed a few
tears himself and then he
continued with something like, "You gonna cry like a little baby.
Come
on cry. She needs someone to cry over her now. Maybe it's
you. Her husband isn't crying, he's more
worried about if he's
going to have a place to spend the night if we take the house away from
him. He definitely ain't gonna cry unless we take the house
away. He
never cared about her. I already cried on
my way here on the
plane just like you. I bawled my eyes out
like you and then I realized that she would want us to be strong and go
on without her. Let's see what you're
made
of. You're just like all the others and when it gets real you
bail out
on her. She needed a real man. Look at you now. A cry
baby." And
then Richard was like,
"It's just you and me. Don't bail out on me now. Please
don't cry on me now. Come on. I didn't mean it like
that. I know you wouldn't be crying just
now if you didn't have feelings for her."
And I was
like,
"She's gone and there's nothing we can do about it. Do you have
any
papers for me to sign or whatever, because I never wanted anything from
your sister, just her. That's it and she knew it. Nothing
else
mattered to me. Just her. Whatever you want me to sign,
I'll sign
it." I am pretty sure Richard had some papers for me to sign, but
I
honestly do not remember for sure what they were about now. I do
know
that my thoughts were along the lines of about the only thing left of
interest to me might be to be buried or interred or whatever next to
her. And thinking of being buried next to
Karen... I am very
sure now on Christmas 2019 that Richard and I did discuss this as I
remember now Richard mentioning something about it being an amendment
or a rider to Karen's will and Richard making the comment of, "I
figured that you didn't have the guts and you would chicken
out on that." And my comment back of, "I don't mind being buried
next
to Karen, it's being possibly next to you that bothers me. I
wouldn't
mind being thrown in the same casket as her, no problem. But
chances
are that you and I would argue throughout eternity and I don't want
that and I don't think you want that either, do
you?" or something similar.
And I believe
Richard said, "Touché. Maybe you've got some balls after
all. Come on this is for all the marbles"
or something like that. And I
believe I continued, "In all seriousness, I would love to be buried
next to your sister, but if this is going to cost extra, I'm not
interested." And I think Richard said something like, "This would
cost a pretty penny but I leave it up to you. It is my sister's
last wishes." or such and I am pretty
sure I said something like, "I'm not really interested in money or any
of that, so it's not really about money anyway with me, but me being
buried next to Karen could keep her will tied up for decades.
That isn't fair to you and your family. No
closure. I'm
not interested in that, do you have papers for me
to sign off on that?" And then I believe
Richard handed me a blank piece of paper
and said something like, "If my sister could only see you now.
Look at
you. Obviously my sister saw more in you than I did until just
now. As you know my sister was the kind that would give up
everything she had just so that others didn't have to suffer. I
just saw you do the same thing. I see what she saw in you and I
know you would have made a great husband for her.
I remember you now. You weren't in love with the superstar, you
were in love with her. After all she
went through with her husband you must be something really special for
her to even consider getting married again. And I can see she was
right. [And he smirked] Either that or my
sister was completely nuts (off her rocker?), but I'll give you the
benefit of the doubt
on that. You failed my test, but you passed
her test with flying
colors and I see why now. You were willing to give up spending an
eternity next to my sister so that me and my family didn't have to
suffer. I'm touched. I'm deeply touched. And what a
crock. But if there
was someone that deserves to rest next to my sister for eternity, it's
you. I honestly wish that piece of paper wasn't blank and was for
real because I wouldn't have let you sign off on it. I wouldn't
mind putting you there myself" (and honestly,
Richard said it in a way to infer that he
would feel better if his sister had someone resting next to her for
eternity or forever, whichever comes last and not like he was wanting
to kill me or whatever) or
something like
this. My thoughts were I wouldn't mind
being next to Karen after I pass away but let me pay for it or
something because it would be my funeral and such. Even back then
I couldn't see myself finding someone I cared about more than
Karen. I knew that wasn't happening. I knew the love of my
life was gone and I wasn't going to find another even back then.
I also know that I still love her whether we get
buried or whatever together or not.
I am not positive
on Richard's thoughts but I had a feeling he thought I was trying to
back out of being with his sister since his sister was dead now.
I also don't know for sure, but I think Richard may have
actually been looking for a way to tie up Karen's will so that it
couldn't be settled since Richard really did not need Karen's money or
such and Thomas Burris seemed so uncaring.
Sure, I can try to think of what Richard might have been thinking now,
but my mind was just drawing blanks back then and
I never thought to ask Richard what he may have been thinking.
Karen
passed away unexpectedly and Richard and I were both emotional and not
thinking too well. It was just a mess.
And honestly, if I wasn't messed up, why didn't I just come
out and say, "I have nothing else to look forward to without your
sister, sign me up and
send me the bill" or whatever instead of beating around the bush like I
did.
It wasn't really our faults either. It was just the way things
happened. We were both upset. Things
never go well when people are upset. And we
didn't have a choice. Karen was dead and that was it.
Done. Over. No second chances.
No do overs. Gone like that.
February 1, 2021 and I kept thinking
there was something else and there was. Richard also had a list
of
personal items that Karen had left to others. On this list was
Karen's
record collection and stuff like that. On this list also was an
entry
for 'Adrian Dowling' I believe and "To Adrian Dowling I leave... my
everlasting love." or something to that effect (with very romantic
stuff written between leave and my). After Richard had handed me
the
blank paper he pulled out the list and he had me sign the list and the
secretary, Lois Crandell, was a notary public and notarized it as
well. As far as I know that list has never been made public, but
I
don't remember exactly what Karen wrote as I was getting a little teary
eyed when Richard had me read it and it was happy tears, not sad
tears. May 12, 2020
and at the end of our talk Richard had three questions. The first
question Richard had was if I would be interested in a dog. Yes,
I was interested, but I couldn't as there was no one at the house that
could take care of Mush, so I had to turn it down.
And the second, Richard asked if I might possibly know where Karen hid
her money from her accounts and I think I answered, in a shoe box in
her closet and I think Richard called up his mom and I think his mom
said she found it. Third
question, do you know of any place that has red roses. Richard
had called and checked every place within a 50 to 100 mile radius of
Los Angeles and everyone was out of red roses as it was close to
Valentine's day. The area I live in, Corning to Rochester New
York was bone dry too, but we tried. Richard put out an APB (All
Points Bulletin) on flower shops through the shops in Los Angeles and
in the end Richard had to go with yellow roses as there weren't any red
roses to be had since Karen's funeral was so close to Valentine's
day. And
then
of course we had a talk about possibly attending Karen's
funeral on Tuesday the 8th...
V. Karen's last
prank
December 24, 2019 and I
finally remember what others have been talking about. Karen was
going
to be getting a divorce from Tom Burris (again, Tom wished to be called
Thomas as it sounded more distinctive I guess. But after the mess
in
their marriage and divorce I prefer Tom myself so as hopefully his
wishes don't come true. But then too, you don't teach people how
not
to be mean by being mean yourself, so I apologize). Before Karen
passed away, Karen was looking to play a practical joke on her brother,
Richard. Karen had told her closest friends and even Richard
himself,
that Karen would be flying out to New York and then Karen was going to
be getting the best manager she could get.
This had several reasons behind it. A big reason was that
Karen had just got done with a messy divorce with Tom Burris and if
Karen had even suggested that she was wishing to get married again,
they probably would have locked Karen up and threw away the key as
Karen actually said that to me. It was a joke, but also a
diversion too. Karen told me that
Richard
was very upset about this and that her joke was going according to plan
when Karen called me on February 3, 1983. The truth was that
Karen was
flying out to get me and that Karen and I were going to elope.
When
Karen got back, Karen was going to tell certain people that she found
the best manager she could ever hope for, her brother Richard.
Unfortunately, Karen passed away before the 'joke' got revealed.
Even
more unfortunately, Karen is not around any more to expose this joke
herself, however, think about it - there is a reason why Karen never
mentioned who this great manager was to anyone. Karen was not
looking
to go out on her own or such. Karen was playing a joke on Richard
and
unfortunately, Karen passed away before this joke got exposed for the
joke it was. If Karen had actually been looking to leave Richard
and
go out on her own, she would have said who this great manager
was. The
truth was that Karen was going to say Richard was her great
manager.
And another unfortunately, as stated, I did not remember this until
December 24, 2019. I could not remember this prank or joke, only
that
I knew for sure that Karen had always told me that Karen always wished
to work with her brother. I forgot about Karen telling me about
the
prank she was pulling on her brother just before she passed away.
I
only remember now because I remember Richard coming to Corning NY using
the tickets from Karen's Holy Bible stash and Richard being very upset
at me when he arrived. And I remember now on Christmas eve 2019,
that
I had said to Richard when he came to Corning on February 4, 1983, "It
was a joke. There was a reason why Karen never said who this
manager
was." But I think I may have stopped short of saying to Richard,
"It
was you." but maybe not. It sure wasn't an 18 year old that
hadn't
finished high school yet and I probably would have done a GED
(Government Equivalency Diploma) instead of graduating with my class in
1983. But now I remember why all of this stuff started after
Karen
passed away. Karen had told people (Olivia Newton-John, many
others) about her getting another manager, but Karen
never had the chance to explain that it was meant to be a joke on her
brother. So after 35+ years, someone finally remembers that this
was
supposed to be a joke, but the jokester passed away before she could
say the punch line. Karen was looking to elope with me and then
bring
me back with her and then announce that her brother Richard was this
great manager that Karen was talking about while saying to others that
I was Karen's new manager. This 'joke' also served another
purpose.
In all honesty, when Karen and I were together, people did not really
notice an age difference between us. We were almost 15 years
apart in
actuality, Some people might look at the age difference and think
that
Karen was 'robbing the cradle' or she had a 'boy toy' and such.
As a
precaution with certain people, Karen thought that introducing me as
her manager might be better than "this is my husband". In all
seriousness, I was not looking to be Karen's manager nor was Karen
looking to have me be her manager neither. An 'easy out' as we
used to
call it. So it was a kind of practical joke, but it could also be
used
as a 'cover up' if the need arose. I know Richard and Olivia
would
have definitely known about our marriage. I'm not so sure about
others
(including 'mom and dad'). That was kind of Karen's
decision. Karen is not around to ask any more.
VI.
February 8, 1983 The Funeral
For some odd reason now on
December 19, 2019 I am starting to remember possibly something related
to a talk about going to Karen's funeral on Tuesday, February
8th.
Like Karen warned me, "Ace, you really should keep a diary". I
have a
feeling it may have been on Friday when Karen passed away, but it could
have been on Monday, February 7th, the day before the funeral. I
do
kind of remember I think Richard showing up at the high school and
having me paged to the office at the school I believe. The rest
is
really fuzzy as you can imagine, I was really kind of out of it after
hearing about Karen passing away on the news at the office. I
remember
Richard and I talking about going to the funeral and I remember
thinking or saying that it would be a bad idea because of the media
coverage and such. I had an order of suppression still
enforceable
against me by the office of the Archdeacon of Canterbury and I remember
thinking about a bunch of goons just taking cameras and removing the
film and smashing video cameras and stuff like that. I think that
I
remember Richard saying something like I could probably be isolated so
as to not get caught up in the media coverage and such and then maybe
after all that I could probably pay my respects in private without
others around. The office of the Archdeacon was definitely very
adamant about my image not appearing anywhere nationally or
internationally in the news at the time. And I knew they meant
business too and they would have people there making sure that any
pictures or videos or such bearing me were destroyed. If I was
there,
definite big headaches. If I wasn't there, well, no problems that
I
was aware of other than a couple onlookers that were there to make sure
I didn't have any pictures taken of me at the funeral that I did not
attend. I honestly do not remember anything legal being discussed
between Richard and me (well, at midnight December 20th I am thinking
maybe a possible cemetery plot or something being discussed, but I am
thinking that this discussion about a cemetery plot probably did not
happen. Just one of those pop into your head 'did this possibly
happen' rather than my usual 'this definitely happened' that ends with
an extended topic somewhere. I am thinking that I am thinking
this not
because an actual offer was there, but more because it would be about
the only thing I would have been interested in at the time was to rest
in peace next to Karen) but I do remember thinking that my even
being
anywhere near Karen's funeral because of that gag order on me would
definitely be a bad idea for Karen's funeral and anyone attending
Karen's funeral. I did not go. I stayed in Corning
NY. I did not
want to take a chance of making a mess out of Karen's funeral because
of all the gag order stuff possibly creating all kinds of problems that
I didn't want, nor did Richard nor anyone else. I guess when your
mom was a virgin when you were born sometimes you can expect you will
have to sacrifice yourself for others. This was such a
time. I don't remember
ever
bawling my head off after Karen
died. I
know if I had gone to the funeral, I would have probably hugged the
casket and bawled my eyes out and made a big scene and such. I
believe
the offer to have me attend the funeral was made in person by Richard,
but I know for certain that I did not attend Karen's funeral.
And if I remember correctly, had I been there, I would not
have known who she was as I believe I lost my memories of her on the
night of Monday, February 7, 1983 after I recieved a vision of Karen
while just sitting in my room that evening around 7 to 8 PM.
VII.
Thinking about Karen's death
As far
as Karen's death
itself. I wasn't personally there, however this I know for
sure... Richard saying that Karen's eyes
were hollow and lifeless
and that Karen did not look too well was probably true. Karen and
I
had been away from each other for about a year and a half and my eyes
were about the same as Karen's honestly. Karen and I missed each
other
a lot.
In 11th grade (September 1981 to
June 1982) I had ran away
from home 4 times just because I didn't care any more and I just needed
to get away from everyone else because I was driving everyone else
crazy (at the house and in school). I had a racist english
teacher in
11th grade (I am part native american aka savage) and I won the war
with him by getting an 80 on the final exam. There were also a
few
racist students that I was having problems with as well. I had
found
real and true love with Karen, but it seemed like everyone else kept
trying to make me feel miserable and angry. I didn't want to feel
miserable or angry, so there were a lot of problems. I also
realized that if I killed these racists, even though they would have
deserved it, I would have got 25 to life and I would have not been able
to see Karen if that had happened and I was definitely close a couple
times. And Karen
and I
kept our promise not to see each other until after she got a divorce so
that neither of us got accused of anything. My parents and my
sister
just
did not understand
that I really did not care and that I was tired of dealing with a bunch
of racists at school.
Karen and I
always helped each other feel better and we were both going
through 'withdrawals' so to speak. While I was going through what
I
was going through, Karen had her problems too dealing with a messy
divorce from a guy that kept trying to make her feel miserable too.
Karen did die and most people
thought I was a zombie in all honesty in 1983. I looked kind of
bad in 1981 before seeing Karen again for that short week, but from
1981 to 1983 I just kept looking worst and worst to the point where in
August 1983, I literally could not keep my head up straight any
more. I graduated in June 1983 and the pictures my parents took
were all horrible with my head leaning over in every picture. I
was going to college in 1983 and they took 6 pictures of me for my
Sheriff's ID card and my head at 30 degrees from straight up was as
good as it got.
Karen
also did not get a chance to sign and finalize her divorce
papers. Karen was planning on signing at the court around 9 AM
that morning. I guess Karen’s official time of death was 9:51
AM. As such, technically Thomas Burris would inherit Karen’s
estate. Karen did have a will in place and I believe it had been
updated in 1981 at the time when Karen knew that her and Thomas were
going to be getting a divorce. Karen left the house and a couple
things to Thomas, but the bulk of Karen’s estate went to her
family. And after taxes and such it was not very much leftover I
imagine. Karen had also done her solo album, the wedding, and
Thomas had used a lot of money buying a cheap house in need of repairs,
then not being able to fix up that house, then getting fined for having
a bad house that wasn’t up to code. The real estate development
developed into a financial mess. Karen had also pulled the money
out of her accounts so that Thomas couldn’t make a quick withdrawal
before the divorce happened just in case. But also Richard got
left holding the bag after Karen passed away. The extra money
from Karen’s estate would mean extra taxes at a higher rate.
Richard already had enough money as it was but he also didn’t want
Thomas getting much as when Karen passed away like Richard told me, “He
ain’t going to cry unless we take the house away from him… He
never cared about her…” Richard did have Thomas sign a type of
suppression order which actually helped Thomas as it kept Thomas from
being able to talk publicly about Karen. Thomas couldn’t talk
publicly so Thomas couldn’t get accused of saying things and since
Thomas couldn’t say things publicly, the press couldn’t try and twist
that stuff around. The nice part also is that Thomas was able to
just walk away and not have to worry about publicity and such.
Thomas couldn’t talk about it publicly. On another hand, Richard
also had the mess with me. I was underaged when Karen and I met
but also my name and picture were blocked from being made public by the
order of suppression issued on me by the Archdeacon of Canterbury,
Bernard Pawley, and his assistant Sir Nicholas Born. How do you
tell people that your sister was planning on eloping with an 18 year
old guy that you can’t mention his name or show his picture
publicly? Precisely, a mess. In all honesty, if my name had
appeared next to Karen’s in the mausoleum, because the mausoleum was
public, the least would have probably been defacing the mausoleum so
that my name wasn’t public, but could also have had the mausoleum
bulldozed to the ground because my name wasn’t to be made public.
It was just a huge mess that couldn’t really be talked about
publicly. As far as myself, I was only wanting to share time and
be with Karen and share a possible life together. Karen and I
always had great times together even when things weren’t going so
well. I wasn’t looking to be a celebrity or wealthy or any of
that stuff; it was just that Karen and I had all these great times and
memories together (both good and bad, we weren’t just ‘fairweather
friends’ so to speak. We had some klunkers and bummers too but we
felt better when we shared and went through it together). But
things happen. Karen’s heart stopped beating. No one wanted
it to happen including Karen herself, it just did. No one’s
fault. No one to blame (her family or her husband or the
therapists or the doctors or…) We all have to go sometime and it was
just Karen’s time was all. Like said, no one’s fault. Karen
had some great memories during her lifetime and many wonderful stories
to learn from and some klunkers too. But then too, like with
everyone, if you don’t have some bad times, you tend not to appreciate
the good times as much when they happen. Those that knew Karen
knew that the name Karen suited her as Karen was a very ‘caring’ person
and wished for everyone to get the chance to enjoy a better life.
And some people enjoy being miserable too, so each person is different,
ourselves included. Everyone. Different. Forgive me
as I didn’t realize that you are happy being miserable, and hopefully
you forgive me as I enjoy being happy and not being miserable and I
didn’t realize our differences until now either. Stuff happens.
Karen
weighed 108 pounds when
she passed
away.
Karen never complained of having chest pains or numbness which are
indicators of heart problems. I talked with Karen the day before
on the phone and she was actually in a very good mood and not depressed
at all and very happy honestly. I was happy on the phone
too. Karen was diagnosed with Anorexia
Nervosa which was mentioned on her death certificate, however, it is
very debatable if this was a cause of death. Anorexia was
mentioned, but honestly, Karen's heart stopped and Karen weighed 108
pounds. An anorectic would weigh 90 pounds or less if in trouble,
so like I said, very debatable as Karen was not underweight at the time
of her death. Could the excess weight have caused heart
problems? Honestly, there are warning signs of a person having
heart problems. Karen did not have any of these warning signs
beforehand. Karen having a problem with her heart was honestly
sudden and unexpected. Karen was always worn out or tired during
her 'visitor' (menstrual cycle). Karen knew her visitor was going
to be starting soon if it hadn't started already. Karen went
downstairs and made a pot of coffee and then went back upstairs to get
ready for the day ahead which involved Karen signing her finalized
divorce papers with Tom Burris (I don't care if he wishes to be called
Thomas, because I don't want his wishes coming true, Tom Burris,
OK?). The coffee pot was on and Karen's mom was downstairs.
Karen's mom noticed that Karen hadn't come back downstairs as the pot
of coffee was still going. So Karen's mom went to check on Karen
and Karen was laying on the floor motionless and not wearing clothes
(Karen weighed herself once a week on Friday mornings in the
nude). Karen's mother called the ambulance
and they showed up and took Karen out on a stretcher (and for those
that saw the video, the sheet was over Karen when they brought her out
in the stretcher which indicates that the person is dead usually
because of suffocation issues, hint, but they also wish to avoid other
possible problems when dealing with living family that are elderly and
the other living family are gray haired and possible to have a heart
attack or other condition themselves if they find out that someone is
dead, so usually they try to have death declared in an emergency room
or an ambulance unless the person in question lived alone with no one
around, or unless there is a probable crime scene, another hint).
They had Karen at the hospital and could not revive her. They
also have to cover their actions and why they did what they did and
they did an outstanding job as
usual with getting Karen to the hospital after they found her
motionless on the floor. Cause of death, Karen's heart
stopped.
A person's heart stops beating when they die in every instance of
death. Karen was not an exception. What caused Karen's
heart to stop is purely speculative and worth possible study as I have
done. It was sudden and unexpected. Aneurysm?
Stroke? Seizure? Air bubble in the blood stream (unlikely,
but...)?
There
weren't any
warning signs beforehand. It just happened. Totally
unforeseeable. Almost unforeseeable except for the diagnosis in
1975 and or 1977 of arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) after Karen was in
the hospital those times. Karen was not going to have a pacemaker
put in as Karen was against being kept alive by a machine. And
anybody trying to blame Karen's sudden death
on anybody is not thinking properly. Karen's heart stopping is a
physical problem. Karen's heart stopping is not
anyone's
fault including Karen herself. No one's fault. Karen passed
away. People pass way when they die. Things happen.
Seriously, if Karen's heart had not stopped, she would not have passed
away. Is there something wrong with being
honest? Blaming anyone under Karen's situation is not being
honest. The truth. And another truth,
even with a pacemaker, Karen's heart probably would have still stopped
beating at some point. That's life and
death, but not the end.
And yet
another truth, a part
of me that
can't be replaced died when Karen died.
How do you replace someone that literally knew what you were
thinking?
Someone that you couldn't argue with? Someone that shared great
memories with you? Someone that made you feel like everything was
going to work out all right? Someone that made you feel like you
were
floating on air? That one special someone that was your dreams
come
true. Sharing wonderful memories with
someone is special and when that someone special is not around any more
to share with, memories still remain. I
love you too Karen.
Thank you
Karen for being that wonderful person that I always knew you to be.
VIII.
Karen's mom and shrinks in general
To note, for all of this
psychobabble about Karen and her mom (mother). Note, Karen died
at her mother's house with her mother there. If Karen did not
love her mother and if Karen's mother did not love Karen, Karen would
have not been allowed around her mother let alone being allowed in the
house. Psychobabble. Think about the truth. Karen's
mother was not a person that hugged people. There is NOTHING
WRONG with a person not being a hugger. Karen's mom did care
about Karen. Karen did care about her mom. Honest, at our
house, the piano was on the first floor and the drums were in the
basement. You can not hear pianos too well near drums.
Richard played the piano and Karen played the drums. That's a
house of love. Just
because they did not comform to a bunch of warped views about
what they felt was proper and trying to prove some whacked out theories
that are false, doesn't mean a damned thing. It does mean a
damned thing but not what it has been tried to be made out to be.
To note, Karen always did better around her family (mom, dad,
and
Richard) and her cousin Wendy, and many others that cared
about Karen, and myself. Karen seemed to have problems after
being around Karen 'Itchie' Ramone, Phil Ramone, Tom Burris, and others
that kept trying to get Karen to work towards being seen as some 'sex
goddess' or whatever. That image just was not Karen, hence the
"statues" video for "Touch Me When We're Dancing". Honest, if sex
sells so much then why wasn't that video and the song #1
everywhere? It was probably the 'sexiest' video ever done at the
time for sure. Itchie and Tom kept trying to get Karen to focus
on
outward appearance, while Karen's friends were trying to get Karen to
realize that Karen was a truly beautiful person and well-loved
regardless of her physical appearance and that we loved Karen for being
the kind and caring person that she truly was. The girl next
door. Karen. Karen
was a tomboy and 'the girl next door' and since when were tomboys and
girls next door supposed to be beauty queens too? Well, actually,
when
you think about the 'sex sells' image at the time, not beauty queen,
but slut was more like it. Karen
was having problems with her public image of being seen as being 'fat'
because of her bone structure while most
'shrinks' kept trying to deal with her private image and messing
Karen's private image up as is evidenced all over the internet and most
books written about Karen (Karen's private
image is her family which has what to do
with Karen's public image of being seen as fat? How are news
articles and pictures in a paper about Karen's body type and size
related to Karen's family?).
You
can not
honestly say that the shrinks were not trying to get Karen to hate her
family despite Karen's family having absolutely nothing to do with
newspaper or tabloid articles saying that Karen was 'chubby'.
Karen
knew better because every time Karen had problems,
Karen's family was there trying to help her whether Karen wanted help
or not. Karen was always welcome at home, always. When the
shrinks tried to get Karen to hate her family, Karen had had
enough. Karen was a Christian and was against hating anyone even
the shrinks. Karen and her
step cousin Wendy B even came up with a saying between them that they
couldn't
get "fat" any more, just "pleasingly plump".
Karen was a very resilient person and not one to
give up on
something. Karen was NOT a 'quitter'. Karen never gave up
on
something unless it was futile (quick, flap your arms and try to fly
like a bird. I know you're a people and not a bird but don't give
up
as you never know. Maybe people can fly and we just haven't tried
hard
enough?). In mid September 1978, I had
noticed that Karen never gave
up on something but also, she told me that she liked to exercise during
our 'arrhythmia' talk. So that was what gave me the idea for our
'futility' dance and talk. It was before class started one day
and
Karen and I were talking and I mentioned 'futility' and Karen was like,
"you never know what you can do until you try." And I started
flapping
my arms up and down and I asked Karen to join in and she did.
Then I
was like, "we're not flying yet, maybe we need to flap faster and
harder." So we flapped faster and harder but we still couldn't
fly.
We brought our hands in and we spread our hands out. We
jumped. No flying. But
yes, as kids we see birds flying and maybe if we do like the birds, we
could learn to fly too. Then the futility of realizing that we
are not
birds and we are not meant to fly on our own. But as we get
older, we
forget that lesson. We just remember that we can't fly and so we
move
on to trying other stuff that maybe we can do. The
toughest part in Karen's anorexia was getting Karen
to
realize that her bad habits were hurting her physically and she needed
to quit those bad habits. It wasn't until Karen saw me throw down
my
cigarette and quit smoking on June 15, 1981 (which I did start smoking
again and I do smoke now, but this was back then) that Karen realized
that maybe 'quitting' wasn't such a bad thing after all. Karen
started
realizing that quitting bad habits would be good. But still,
putting
her finger down her throat, starving herself, taking laxatives and such
had helped her lose weight before. Why quit something when it
works?
Karen just hadn't realized that there were possible side affects from
overdoing it. And as the autopsy report showed, Karen's heart
wasn't
physically damaged, however, somehow Karen's glycerine (glycerine is
the 'blood sugar' level and glycerine is a substance that relaxes
muscles including the heart and not just a 'sugar' level) level had
skyrocketed to the point where Karen's muscles and her heart muscles
just relaxed and stopped. No one's fault, including Karen, as no
one
foresaw Karen's glycerine levels rising as high as they did.
Karen also learned her singing style, not with
emotions, but by listening to her own voice and trying to make her
voice sound a certain way. Karen could
also pronounce diction and articulation really well, however Bruce
Forsyth was a challenge. It was all
technique and mechanics
with Karen listening to her own voice and Karen getting her voice to
sound a certain way. Karen told me that was why she would sing so
softly sometimes as she would be listening to her voice and not really
singing out loud. But Karen would hear a certain sound in her
head and she would try to imitate what she heard with her voice.
And Karen had a wonderful vibrato in her voice that she learned to use
when she felt the need arose. Karen would also sing softly to
convey like a ‘secret whisper’ and sing loudly for more emphasis and
more openness and more impact. With all of that to think about as
far as how Karen wanted to convey the meaning behind the song, Karen
didn’t have enough thought room to think about personal experiences or
any of that stuff. It was honestly all technique and mechanics
with her voice. Karen’s breathing, or lack thereof, and her
accenting certain sounds and lyrics while diminishing emphasis on other
parts were all a part of Karen enjoying that music can convey emotion
when done properly. It wasn’t the emotions themselves, but the
techniques and mechanics of her voice to try and convey that
emotion. If done properly, Beethoven’s 9th symphony, ode to joy,
will convey a feeling of happiness and triumph. If not done
properly, it sounds a bit off. Honestly, Karen wanted a sad song
to sound sad just as a happy song should sound happy. And it is
the sound, not the emotion, that is what makes that happen.
Karen's mom was not
a very emotional person as Karen's mom was more of a thinker.
Karen got her 'thinking' side from her mother. Karen and her mom
used to have meaningful talks with one another, not hold "hug
fests". If Karen had a problem, Karen could always talk with her
mother about it and her mother would listen and talk as well.
Think about it, Karen and mom were the ones that were together when
Richard was seeing Karen's hair dresser. Hint, the "dragon lady"
was Karen's mother and the "two-headed dragon lady" was a term that
Karen and her mother came up with for Karen's hair dresser that was
seeing Richard (hint, Karen kind of used this to cover up the 'dragon
lady' reference for her mother. Meant to be confusing so don't
sweat it if you don't understand). Karen's mom was a 'clean
freak' so to speak and Richard was the clean one while Karen would get
dirty playing baseball and drag mud through the house. Richard
was favored by mom and that was why. No big deal. Richard
and Karen knew why and they were fine with it. Even Karen said
herself, "I'd rather be yelled at than fussed over (and, shhh, hint, at
times Karen would pick on Richard about Richard being a "mama's boy" in
private. It was a private joke between Karen and Richard about
mom fussing over Richard so much. It wasn't Richard's fault, just
the way it was. Don't forget that Karen was a tomboy too.
Richard
would pick back)."
Karen's mom didn't hate Karen, but Karen's mom did not like dirt and
was hoping that Karen would stop dragging mud through the house.
The truth.
Steven Levenkron was an author, not a doctor or MD
or PhD. Note also, Steven found those
pills and such when Karen
checked in there in January 1982?. I believe Karen checked out
around
September 1982. After Karen checked out and ended up in the
hospital
again, Karen started weighing herself only once a week. A person
that
is weighing themselves only once a week is not worrying about how much
they weigh on a constant basis. A person trying to lose weight
will
weigh themselves many times while taking laxatives and pills and such
to see the immediate affect of what taking those pills and laxatives is
having. And as you know, that is the catch with anorexia.
The pills
and laxatives are not actually immediate in most cases, which leads to
a person over taking pills and laxatives to try and speed up the
process which is not immediate anyway. A messy and dangerous
cycle.
So as has been said (and ignored by many), Karen weighed 104 pounds
when she left the hospital in November 1982 and Karen weighed 108
pounds when she passed away on February 1983. Karen also had
arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat) which was found in 1975 (and later)
and was a sign that Karen's heart was not getting the signals to beat
at times. You would think that a person taking thyroid
medication(s)
to speed up metabolism in the thyroid would not be having problems with
their heart stopping. Karen was having problems with her heart
stopping and not beating in rhythm (arrhythmia) on occasion. Not
rapid
heartbeat, but Karen's heart stopping (no heartbeat) aka 'skipping a
beat'. The last I knew, synthroid and such medications do not
cause
the heart to stop beating. The heart can also only beat so
fast.
Karen's heart was missing cycles of beating at times without
medications. And Karen would actually starve herself at times and
become underweight. Also, Karen did not actually seem to have any
symptoms
indicating that she was having a thyroid problem. No profuse
sweating
or mental disorientation or stuff like that to indicate an actual
thyroid problem or side affects of someone that was taking medications
for a thyroid problem that did not exist. Karen did have problems
with her menstruation (visitor)
and
Karen would become very exhausted during her menstruation which would
usually be about three days. This happened regardless of Karen's
weight. But it is not unusual for a person that is discharging
blood
to become tired or such. If Karen had not started her
menstruation, she was expecting it to start between February 3 and
February 5, 1983. Karen refused a pacemaker for the arrhythmia
as Karen was against being kept alive by a machine. And Karen was
definitely looking forward to living her life with a guy when she knew
that this guy cared about her whether her name was Wendy or Karen,
whether she was 94 or 124 or even 224 pounds, whether she was happy or
sad or upset (preferably happy though as it was difficult for either of
us to feel sad or upset when we were around each other), a singer or a
school teacher or a mime or even nothing at all, for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health, and he would definitely obey if he knew what
was good for him. A guy that loved "tomboys and mud pies".
A guy that loved her despite what the critics and tabloids and shrinks
thought about her. And these two people that apparently shared
all these past lives together that they didn't even know existed
because they were both busy enjoying the times they had together when
they could have them together. Together. Karen and
Ace. Maybe not now, but more likely forever. Is forever
long enough? Exactly why Karen and I
haven't wrote our own songs because most of the cool stuff doesn't
rhyme all the time or whatever. But stuff
happens.
IX.
Control freaks
(Added April 9, 2020) Having
spent much time around Karen, I really wonder where this 'control'
theory came from. Honestly, there wasn't any control from Karen's
family (Richard, mom, dad). On the other hand, yes, there was
attempted control by Phil and Itchie Ramone as well as Thomas Burris,
Steven Levenkron, Max Baer Jr., and probably a couple therapists,
psychologists and psychiatrists. Karen and Richard always worked
together. If Karen or Richard didn't want to do something, it
wasn't
done. So I am kind of sure this 'control' stuff has been started
by
those that had guilty consciences about the way they treated
Karen.
And yes, the ones listed under 'attempted control' were the ones who
tried to control Karen. I saw it myself. I intervened on
the Phil and
Itchie control as well as the Max Jr. control and Karen was looking to
get rid of Tom which I would have helped with that also. Karen
had
'control' when around Richard and her family and such. If you
notice,
the ones who keep trying to push this 'control' stuff with Karen are
the ones most guilty of trying and FAILING to control and use
Karen.
Karen was used to working together with people which is the true reason
why Karen's marriage was not working out. After the ring went on
Karen's finger, Tom started trying to control Karen and that was
that.
Marriage over. Karen was a tomboy. Tomboys do their own
thing or else
they go somewhere else where they can do their own thing. Karen's
anorexia had nothing to do with control. Honest. Karen's
feeling she
needed to lose weight had to do with newspaper articles and tabloid
stories and being on screen and Karen feeling she was 'chubby'.
Karen
didn't want to do opera and be the 'fat lady' that sings at the
end.
And Richard didn't want to do opera either. Karen was not trying
to
gain control through losing weight. Karen was tired of being
picked on
by the newspapers and tabloids because Karen was a tomboy and also
Karen liked wearing loose clothing. Karen
did not like clothing that was tight or form fitting.
Loose clothing hangs loose and
makes someone appear larger than they are. You could always know
when
Karen was having problems as you could start seeing her cheek and jaw
bones become more prominent when she was losing too much weight.
And
like I said, I was around Karen and I saw what happened when others
tried to control her. I honestly never saw Karen's family ever
try to
control Karen and if you notice, when Karen had problems, she always
went back to her family (or me too a couple times). And as you
also
look at the ones that try to bad mouth others and you should realize
that the ones doing the bad mouthing are also the ones most guilty of
that bad controlling behavior towards Karen. And that goes for
the
rest of you too. Those of you looking to bad mouth Karen's family
are
all IGNORANT. All of you. You believe nonsense from idiots
that have
a guilty conscience. Randy L Schmidt as well. Shame on you
for not
checking facts. And a big fact is that when someone says
something bad about others, you need to consider the source. Most
honest people, when they have nothing nice to say about someone, they
say that they have nothing nice to say or they say nothing at
all. Silence speaks volumes. Unfortunately, I am doing a
recollection here and as such, I am including the good with the bad as
a way of demonstrating the difference, but also as a remembrance as to
why. Otherwise, certain events and people would have been left
out of this. You should know better. I do. And
speaking of Karen
and my eloping together, Karen and I talked on February 3, 1983.
Karen
and I talked about going to the library and researching what that
prescription stuff was that was planted on Karen in Levenkron's office
as Karen had no idea what those pills were or what those pills were
used for. Karen also knew that I had no use for Phil or Itchie
Ramone
nor Tom Burris. Too many stories that don't make sense and only
add up
to nonsense. And when you confront those spreading nonsense with
facts, the nonsense starts to stop. Karen and I were also going
to
come forward with Karen's dealing with her eating disorder and how
Karen and her mom had figured out that if Karen only weighed herself
once a week, Karen stopped her anorexia. Karen weighed 104 pounds
when
she left Lennox Hill in November 1982 and Karen weighed 108 pounds when
she passed away at her parent's house on February 4, 1983. Karen
weighed at most, 86 pounds when she left Levenkron's clinic in
September 1982, which if Levenkron 'cured' Karen, you must be nuts
(cuckoo, crazy) to believe that nonsense. Nonsense. And of
course the
coroner not seeing Karen's extremely high glucose (blood sugar) level
of 1106. Karen had diabetes but no one noticed including Karen
herself. And a glucose level of 1100 is definitely deadly as a
level
that high and the heart WILL stop beating. Karen and Richard
never
competed against others. Who were Karen and Richard competing
against,
Lawrence Welk? Really? Karen and Richard always worked
together and
if one or the other objected, they didn't do it. Karen was
actually
close to her mom and Karen and her mom would talk about problems and
such, not hold hug fests. Karen and her mom were thinkers and
Karen's
thinking side came from her mom. Honestly. And Karen didn't
actually
see much of her mom for quite a while, but like I said, whenever Karen
had problems, Karen's mom was always there to help Karen. The
control
freaks, Phil and Itchie, Levenkron, Tom Burris, many shrinks
(therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists) were not much for Karen's
mom as Karen's mom would give it right back to them. And if worst
came to worst, Karen's mom would not even talk to someone and be
silent. Karen's mom
was
not much for nonsense. Controlling people is nonsense.
Karen and
Richard always worked together. No nonsense. Karen
and I always
tried to work together and working together means honesty. Try
and be
honest with an individual that has something to hide and is trying to
use someone and you see what I mean. No nonsense. Tell it
like it is
instead of trying to twist things around to make a story that makes
little to no sense. Karen was not a 'lonely clown' nor 'little
girl
blue'. One of the few songs that Karen was directly involved in
writing was Rock With You which Phil Ramone sent over to Michael
Jackson (and speaking of which, I seem to remember Rod Temperton being
very vocal about the 'Phil Ramone' call on February 2nd, and I believe
Rod said something like, "I don't believe it because Karen never used
the f word [and note also, Karen used the word cuss and not curse too,
but I don’t remember Rod saying that, just the f word part, but maybe
he did. Been a while]. I wouldn't mind hearing that tape
myself because I
would
know if it was Karen's voice or not." Does anyone ever remember
actually hearing that tape? I thought not). Face facts
people, Karen
sang those songs, but she really didn't write them. Karen was
honestly
a jokester and a very fun loving person. She sang those songs
well as
she had that kind of voice, but she didn't write those songs nor draw
personal inspiration from those songs. Of
course you don't want to come off singing a sad song
sounding happy as that would throw the song off a bit. Sing a sad
song
sad, a happy song happy, and a funny song funny. As Karen told
me, it is not really emotion but technique (a vocabulary word we had
that year too in 8th grade). Karen thought more about how loud or
soft or the intonation or how her vocal chords should feel and not
really about emotion or such when singing. The tempo, little
nuances (intonations, outtonations too) and more about the mechanics of
the singing and how it should sound as well as listening to the drum
beat to keep in tempo when singing live and stuff like that.
Karen always liked music that conveyed emotion in the music itself
(arrangements of instruments and such too) as otherwise as Karen would
say that it would be like just reciting poetry. And Karen would
laugh too and say that, “I know it sounds weird because I’m a singer,
but my least favorite thing to do is recite poetry. That stuff is
boring.” But Karen would have personal stories about why she
chose to sing certain songs and such, but while singing Karen said that
she needed to concentrate on the lyrics and the sounds and not on any
personal experiences. So for instance, if Karen was singing,
“Touch Me When We’re Dancing” and if Karen started thinking about the
‘hiding her head like an ostrich’ story, Karen would forget the lyrics
and mess up. While singing, Karen concentrated on the sounds and
the lyrics and not on personal experiences. The one exception I
knew about was a song off her solo album called “My Body Keeps Changing
My Mind” where Karen says “dancing” in that odd way. The
inspiration from that was actually from me as when Karen and I were
dancing, I would say, “Look, Honey, we’re dancing, we’re dancing” with
a weird drawn out accent on the an in dancing. Karen
really wasn't much
like
the songs she sang either. Karen was usually very upbeat
emotionally
and very resilient and she was a lot of fun to be around and Karen had
a lot of fun around others. Child-like, not childish. Much
like
myself at the time as well. Enjoy every moment. Have fun
and try not
to take things too seriously. And the big draw between Karen and
I was
that we could be serious and it was still fun too. We had never
had
that before. We enjoyed it. And no one knew that Karen had
diabetes
until after it was too late. And stop to think, how often do you
hear
the truth as far as Karen Carpenter, herself? Exactly, Karen
passed
away, so the ones that had been using Karen will still try to use Karen
as Karen is not around to say anything on her own behalf anymore.
And
the ones that worked together with Karen are still trying to work with
Karen even though she isn't around anymore to work with either.
Can
you tell who is who? Do you know how to spot the difference
between
someone that works together with someone compared to someone who uses
someone? And that includes therapists, psychologists, and
psychiatrists too. Karen had an internal warning sign that told
her
when people were using her. Karen told me that she would start
feeling
lonely around those that were trying to use her. Karen felt
lonely
around Thomas Burris, Phil Ramone, Karen 'Itchie' (Ichiuji) Ramone,
Max Baer Jr., Steven Levenkron, and probably a few others as well
(these people I mentioned I knew about personally from Karen).
Karen
also told me that she never felt lonely around her mom or dad, her
brother, Olivia Newton-John, Dionne Warwick, John Denver, any of the
band members, Rod Temperton, myself, or many others. And if we
learn
anything from this it is that users will try and isolate people by bad
mouthing others to try and make themselves seem caring when in reality
the bad mouthers are users and do not care about others and try to
isolate the one they are using from those that care about the one being
used. Manipulators. Loneliness. Those that
truly care about others
do not try to isolate people. Those that care about others do not
usually bad mouth others either. But sometimes, just let others
talk,
and if the shoe fits...
And I imagine next to burying his parents and his
sister,
having Thomas Burris sign the "no public comment" paper was probably
the next most difficult thing that Richard Carpenter ever did.
The
media was gearing up to tear Thomas Burris to shreds and Richard had to
have known that. It would not have mattered what Thomas said,
just so
long as he said something so that it would sell papers for
people.
Karen and Thomas lied to each other during their marriage and Thomas
was not used to public speaking. The media sharks would have and
still
would rip Thomas to shreds publicly. It was not 'secrets' or such
as
the media would wish you to believe, but an ethical problem and I feel
Richard made the right choice. Without Thomas being able to speak
publicly, the papers and such could not use anything for or against
Thomas. Thomas could lead a life without being hounded by press
reporters and others looking for a 'story'. What did Thomas
really
know? Privately you can actually ask him if you happen to see
him.
And why would you want to keep a low profile after people are accusing
you of killing a popular singer when you weren't really even around
that person for quite a while? I know that Richard did not
personally
like his soon to be ex brother-in-law, however, I feel that Richard did
a very humane deed by allowing Thomas to sign that "no public comment"
paper that kept Thomas from being hounded by the media and such.
Like
said, I know it wasn't about 'protecting secrets' as Thomas really
didn't have any secrets to protect. But the media was preparing
to
tear Thomas to shreds publicly for anything Thomas said or did (like
tossing the wedding ring into the casket). Richard, being the
Christian that he is, allowed Thomas to walk away from the whole mess
and not be in the public spotlight. I know Richard made a
difficult
decision as I know Richard would have loved to see the media rip Thomas
to shreds over anything Thomas said or did. Richard made the
honorable
choice and actually helped someone he was not very fond of. That
is
the Richard Carpenter I knew and the type of family I knew Richard came
from. Two people getting a divorce is not a good relationship and
is
only good for 'tabloid fodder'. And Richard robbed the tabloids
of
that fodder when Thomas Burris signed that paper. Instead, now
Thomas
can just walk away and not get caught in the media frenzy of trying to
sell papers at someone else's personal expense. Richard really
didn't
have anything to gain by Thomas signing that paper, but Thomas was able
to walk away and lead a more private life without having to worry about
reporters hounding him for 'the inside story' or whatever. Peace
and
piece of mind. Inner peace. Piece of paper. What
secrets? The truth
was that Karen and Thomas were getting a divorce because they couldn't
get along well together. That was Karen and Thomas. What if
Karen had
met someone else and what if Thomas were to meet someone else, get
married, have his vasectomy reversed and have another son (purely
hypothetical here of course)? What if there really weren't any
secrets
and it was just that Thomas and Karen were good for others but they
were not good for each other personally? What then? Where's
the
"inside story" of that? News flash, two people find out that they
can't get along together, but maybe if they find other people more like
themselves it might work out better. So if you get a chance, talk
with
Thomas Burris privately and keep it private. And if you get a
better
chance, thank Richard Carpenter for getting Thomas Burris to sign that
'no public comment' order which protected Thomas Burris from getting
his and Karen's names from most likely being dragged through the mud by
a greedy press just looking to make money with "inside stories" at
other people's expense.
X. My last thoughts
about Karen
A short while after Karen
passed away I got a vision (I think on Monday night, February 7th, but
not positive.). Visions are like dreams only you are wide awake
when
you get them. The vision was me sitting in a mausoleum next to
Karen's
casket. Next thing I know the casket opens up and Karen comes out
with
a white blouse and a gray dress and black shoes
(flats really without much of a soul on the shoe) with I believe a
strap across the top with whitish stockings
on and I am sitting by her casket and
she comes over and stands next to me. I stand up and I start to
talk
to her and she grabs her throat and shakes her head because she can't
talk. I look over and see a man standing
there in a black suit
next to a stand, a caretaker of sorts I guess. I look over to him
and
I say, "I need a marker, a marker" and he hands me a black
marker. I
then say "I need something to write on" and he hands me several small
squares of white cardboard. Karen and I
talk, in a way, for a
little
while and then the vision just stopped. I think it was all yes
and no
questions so we didn't really need the cardboard anyway and she just
shook her head. I think my first question was, "Is it really
you?"
And she shook her head yes. And I think I asked, "Do you still
love
me?" And she shook her head yes. And I said something like,
"Me too.
I still love you. Forever like we said." And she shook her
head yes. And then I think I said, "Are you all right now?"
And she stood there and spread her arms out to the side as if to say
what do you think? And then I think I was
like, "I miss you so much." And she put her
index finger to the middle of her lips and then put that finger on my
lips and she shook her head
no telling me not to cry and keep
my head up. And I said
something like, "Can I touch you?" And
she shook her head yes and I wrapped my arms right around her and gave
her a big kiss and she wrapped her arms around me too. And then
we
looked at each other with our hands together and then we were side by
side and started walking towards the door. I handed the marker
and cardboard back to the caretaker and we continued to walk towards
the door. Then Karen wasn't allowed passed the door so we went
back by the casket and I grabbed the marker and cardboard from the
caretaker again and then people started coming in and Karen and I were
writing on the cardboard while the people were talking and asking us
questions and such. And if you know Karen
and me, we started clowning around
and holding signs upside down and switching signs with each other and
such (you know, me holding a sign saying, "I'm
Karen" while Karen was holding a sign saying, "I'm Ace").
And then the
vision
stopped a short while after that. I
never saw her funeral until
recently and that was what
sparked my memories of this vision as she was buried in the same dress
I remember in that vision, and I only remembered this vision on New
Year's Eve 2020 (the last day of 2019). I don't remember all of
what we
talked about and I just remember that after this vision in 1983, I lost
my memories of Karen again until late May 2019.
XI.
Conclusion
What
came of this : Karen
died. See September 1978 to May / June
1979 for more details. If I remember right, just like Julie Sage,
Karen told me that she had a short life line as well (about an inch and
a quarter to an inch and a half long). Karen was the only one I
ever felt 'cloud 9' with. Karen was supposed to sign divorce
papers from Tom Burris on February 4. I always wished for her to
be happy. Karen was definitely looking
forward to the future after
signing her divorce papers and being able to be happy again and getting
her life back again. Neither one of us knew
how to get a hold of the other,
but I know if she had been really depressed or in trouble, she would
have definitely tried to find me somehow in Corning NY. I turned
18 years old
exactly three months before she died, so the 'minor' problem would not
be a factor anymore.
But not to be. After thinking about her around late May to mid
June 2019, I remembered what it felt like to be on cloud 9 again and
even though she isn't around to share it with me like before, it still
feels great. Karen and me had some really great times together in
the short eight months we knew each other. I noticed that there
were 2 songs on Karen's solo album (Lovelines, If We Try), and 2
outtake songs (Midnight, It's Really You) from that album
that contain 'Darling' (Karen's pet name for me) in the lyrics.
Oddly too, the 'baby' songs appear to be about me as well. Karen
told me that when she started her solo album, that she didn't have a
pet name for me yet. I
still do love Karen (Honey, my pet name for Karen) in 2019. Karen
was definitely my soul mate and I was definitely her soul mate
too. I
also happened to think that if Richard or one of them found
out 'darling' was a student that was 14 years old at the time, there
could have been some problems too. And honestly, even now, I
would
wish to avoid any scandal or such involving Karen. And honestly,
the
only things that touched between Karen and myself were our words, our
thoughts,
our hearts, our souls and our eyesight. Nothing more.
Nothing less. OK, maybe a little bit more after I turned 16, but
shhhh, OK?
We had to be sure somehow, and we had just enough
somehow to be sure. Also note, with Karen
and I being soul mates, we
are seen as equals after she passed away. With that being said
and because I am the one with the double-nerved upper left bicuspid aka
the Holy Scribe, I believe Karen is helping to fill that position until
I get back. If you see a blonde haired woman with the Akashic
Records, It is Karen Carpenter, my soul mate. After I die or
whatever happens to end my life in the flesh, I have a feeling that
Karen and I both stay together for eternity and do not return to the
flesh.
XII.
An afterthought
And one
for the road,
so to
speak. Below are the school pictures
from the 1979 Corning Free Academy classbook. The extra hand in
Karen's picture is from the social studies teacher Mr. (Tom?)
Cook. The pictures were taken around October 1978. Karen
was very nervous about it and asked me to be in the room during the
picture taking. I was sitting in a chair about 15 to 20 feet away
and in front of Karen and Mr. Cook. Karen's eyes closed in
the picture because when the photographer snapped the picture, Karen
and Mr. Cook started laughing because I was saying, "Rump roast, Liver
and onions, Castor Oil..." instead of the usual, "Say cheese".
Karen wore a black wig and weighed I think 104 pounds at the time of
this picture. The vest on Karen was a rainbow color with reds,
yellows, blues, greens, and oranges that Karen made herself (on a side
note, Karen made her own poncho too and she kind of started a fad in
the area where girls wanted ponchos, including my sister). I
believe the papers in Karen's hands were just a bunch of papers that
were lying around in the room and Karen just threw a paper clip on them
to make the papers look important. I think the picture was taken
in an unused classroom that became more of a storage room but I am not
positive on that now. A funny note, The writing on the blackboard
is Karen's. The funny part is that the math teachers were lined
up in front of the english stuff that Karen wrote on the board, and
Karen (the english teacher) was lined up with the math stuff that Karen
wrote. And on an ending note, Karen did not usually wear yellow
as she had already “gone bananas” a long time ago and it was by her own
choice so she was fine with that, but no one seemed to notice or say
anything about it unless she wore yellow. Karen liked surprising
people and how are you going to surprise someone about going bananas
when you are wearing yellow? True, Karen didn’t like being
considered ‘normal’ and enjoyed being considered a little
‘different’. Anyway... Every little bit helps and hopefully
when and if the time comes people can hopefully get the help they
need. Like Carpenter Family Foundation, 1800 Avenue of the Stars
Suite 900, Los Angeles, CA, 90067-9818, http://www.richardandkarencarpenter.com
or Olivia Newton-John Cancer
Wellness & Research Centre, http://www.onjcancercentre.org
.
Or, the Olivia Newton - John Foundation https://cafa.iphiview.com/cafa/AccountInformation/tabid/495/dispatch/accountselection_id$283138_hash$4622b1a9d05b9c2a9972a0b11c8cfcf570f7246a/Default.aspx
. Just another thought here. Oh yeah, the
pictures (note, Karen is wearing a wig and
looking down. Karen would also wear a prosthetic face mask at
times to
try and hide her features [her chin especially]. Unfortunately,
this
is a black & white yearbook picture and not the greatest resolution
so a bit blurry and grainy too.)…
Where : Holiday Inn, Painted Post NY, Senior Banquet
Who : Thee Ace Man & Julie Sage
What happened : Senior Banquet and earlier my accounting
teacher, Mr.
Wilcox, asked if I would be going to the Senior Banquet and I said,
"Yes". Brian Bavisoto also asked if I was going as well. On
the night of the banquet, I picked up Cherie Walker and Ruth Makin
(Ferguson before, Ruth used to live across the street on East Third
Street at one time) and
I drove them and myself to the banquet that night. At the
banquet, it was pretty much all "And the award for... Cort Anastasio"
about 4 times with I believe just one other person (I think Eleanor
O'Brien, but not sure). Side note, Cort did not take secretarial
or accounting classes. And then, "The Sally Rand Award for
Bookkeeping and Accounting goes to Adrian Downing, III (<-- my legal
name)" and I heard a chant started, "Ace, Ace, Ace" and I looked over
and there was Brian Bavisoto with Julie Sage, and Julie leading the
chant. I walked up and I was told away from the microphone,
"Congratulations, just take this check to a financial office to pay for
the paperwork for a scholarship." and then the end of the
banquet. In all of my excitement, I ended up leaving without
Cherie or Ruth or even talking to Julie or Brian. I just grabbed
the check and left. After getting about 4 miles away, I turned
around and went back realizing I left Cherie and Ruth there.
Someone else took Cherie and Ruth home, and Julie and Brian had left as
well before I returned.
What came of this : I won the Sally Rand Award for
Bookkeeping and
Accounting for the Corning - Painted Post East and West High
School. I also ended up ranked 123 out of a class of 268
students. Later, I just cashed the check and did not use it to
apply for the scholarship. I honestly didn't even know what to
put for grades either, but I figured it was the 100, 100, 100, 100 in
the computer system, and not the 108, 106, 104, 102 that I actually
got. I did go to Corning Community College
for two years and I got an Associates degree in Business Administration
in 1986. I paid off the college loan ($4,800 + 5 years interest
over $8,000, $84.71 every month) in 1991. This was the last time
I saw Julie Sage (the one who gave me the nickname Ace). I did
not go to the Senior Prom on June 2, 1983 even though I told Brian
Bavisoto I was going to the prom. After the Senior Prom, Julie
Sage (Family Jewels) died in a car accident. I heard about it on
Monday, June 3rd (or 4th?) over the morning anouncements at
school. After the
anouncement, I saw someone go into the boys' bathroom and I heard them
puking. I think it was Brian Bavisoto, but not sure. The
puking wouldn't have bothered me as I was numb anyway, but possibly
hearing the story of how Julie died would have bothered me, so I didn't
check out the 'puker' on purpose. I just put my head down into my
folded arms and went
numb. For the last few weeks of school, I was just quiet during
school. After school, I just cried myself to sleep every night
for at least three weeks. In 2019, I still love Julie.
Julie was my identity, Ace.
What happened : I had been working at the local grocery store since
1986 and a new cashier started working there, Mary Beth Sofia. We
partied a bit here and there and we got along all right (I was still a
bit messed up over Karen and Julie from 1983, but I really didn't
remember Karen or Julie in 1988 so it was kind of hard for me to be
honest with someone at that time and for a time to come, but
anyway...). Mary Beth had a jealous boyfriend named Chris.
And of course me, "Let me deal with him, I'll knock that jealousy right
out of him. We're not doing anything." And Mary Beth just
said back to me, "Chris is coming over so why don't you just go and
take a walk somewhere and cool off." So I did. I walked and
I wasn't as hyperactive either. At first I just walked a short
ways, but by 1989 I had stretched that walk out to about 6.5 miles each
way and about 3 hours (an hour and a half out and an hour and a half
back to Painted Post). At the time (and still to this day) the
news loved to run stories about how there were all kinds of problems
out there and that people needed to stay inside and be safe. I
was walking around the area and "What problems?" and some would say
back, "Kids being abducted, fights breaking out, kidnappers, people
with guns, etc." And I was like, "That's odd. I walk all of
the time through the area and I don't see any of this going on.
Are you sure?". And because I was working at the grocery store
people would ask about why I walked so much and Mary Beth and I heard
people ask so many times that literally Mary Beth and I had a routine
and we would say at the same time (me in parentheses), "Ace (I) walks
because he (I'm) hyperactive and it helps him (me) to burn off excess
adrenaline." And then I might add, "That's why I don't jog or
such because I'm not looking to create more adrenaline, just burn off
the adrenaline I got." But from 1988 until around 2007, people
always saw me just walking around from South Corning to Painted Post
but also I didn't really bother others besides the ones that thought I
was nuts because of all this crazy stuff on the news that really wasn't
happening in our area. I believe in 1989 Mary Beth started going
to college at Mansfield University in Mansfield PA and I would drive
her down on occasion in my 1979 Chevy Monza. Mary Beth was a
tomboy, but I was a mess emotionally and I just didn't know why.
So how can you get close to someone when you really don't even know
yourself any more? I knew all of this stuff, but I couldn't
remember why I knew it, just that I knew it. Mary Beth moved away
around 1991. I still kept walking until around July 2007 when I
started my new job that I still have. The walking worked
somewhat, but there were still a few times where people could see me
kind of talking to myself or even yelling at myself a couple times (not
too often). But walking does work to help take the edge off the
emotions a bit and I try to recommend it to those who are
hyperactive. And still to this day (September 2020) the news
keeps running these stories about other areas and people in my area get
worried even though that stuff is not happening locally.
What came of this : Back in the 1980s and 1990s, most people sat
around. Around 2000, I noticed that other people started
realizing that maybe things weren't as bad as the news had people
believing and more people started just walking around in our
area. Nowadays, people walk around in our area all of the time
and the odd part is that people realize that if more people walk
around, the 'bad' people seem to disappear like they almost never
existed to begin with.
What happened : Just after my
birthday,
my parents sent me out west for a week to stay with my sister and
brother-in-law. I went to New Mexico, Arizona, California, and
crossed the border slightly into Mexico. Was definitely a
different experience. On the way out was a
plane changeover in Albequerque New
Mexico. The bartender there was pretty cool and it was a couple
hours between flights and no one else really around. We were
doing voices back and forth and he said he was hoping at the time to
get the part of the mad scientist in the upcoming sequel movie to
'Escape From New York'. He also talked about how
he liked to draw and that he was thinking about a possible career in
animation or such. He had a sketch book,
but I wasn’t much into
drawing, but he had a cool drawing of a teenage looking boy with a
cigarette out of his mouth (which later became the drawing for the
Beavis character). I said something like, “I usually
draw stuff like planes dive bombing people and add horns, mustaches,
and the like to the pictures.” I then said something like,
“Animation is rough, drawing a zillion copies of the same thing with
just the arm moving is a pain. Lining up all that stuff.” Mike
said his
boss was pretty strict about not being personal with the customers, but
no one was really around so what the hay. We started doing voices
back and forth with different accents and such. I remember saying
something like, “Ever notice how southerners always seem to have an
answer for everything.” Then I said something like, “Me and my
boss that I used to work for when selling insurance at Combined Life,
used to go
around…”, then I continued in a southern accent, “Two sticks o’ diney
mite, that’ll cure all yer problems. Got a plugged turlet, take
two sticks o’ diney mite. Yer wife won’t stay faithful, two
sticks o’ diney mite. Solves all yer problems yessiree.
Tired o’ that ol’ drafty house, two sticks o’ diney mite.” And
then he came back with a southern accent of his own and, “Wha’cha need
boy is a good ol’ butane regulator.” in what would later be his
Tom Anderson / Hank Hill voice. Then I
said something like, “My german accent
is crappy because I can’t roll the R’s that well but here goes…”, then
I continued on with a crappy german accent, “Und now here’s Albert
Einstein wit
his teory o’ relativity.” Next I changed to a spanish / mexican
accent and came out with, “Hey gringo, wanna f*ck my seester? Five
dollar, no hollar.” That one definitely sent Mike back a
little. Mike then said he wasn’t much into ethnic jokes and that
his mother came from somewhere (Mexico?, El Salvador?, Honduras?,
Ecuador?) illegally I think. Wetbacks? But yeah,
that was a little too much from a guy you don’t really know named
Ace. But that’s me, always going over the edge. It
was after this that I think I did some more
hispanic talking using one of my aliases that I used back in tenth or
eleventh grade. The Great Cornholio. I just kind of went
“hyperactive” for a little bit and went on and on about how great I was
and how well I always tried to look after my people. Before I
started I introduced this long skit saying something like, “I used to
do this kind of stuff in school. I pull my shirt up over my
mouth, bandito style, like this, and…” (I know I was either
wearing my
Ted Nugent Out of Control or my AC/DC Rock 'N' Roll Explosion
T-shirt). And then I went into my
act. It
went something like, “I am The Great Cornholio. I need TP, TP for
my bunghole.” Then normal voice,
“TP means toilet paper.” Then bandito voice again, “My
people they have been without TP. Do not make my bunghole
angry. You must bow down to The Almighty Bunghole, Bunghole,
Bunghole...” "Would
you like to see my bunghole?" In a regular voice I said, "Fidel
Castro". And then back to bandito with, "The streets will flow
red with the blood of the nonbelievers." I
think I also did some Confusionisms with a
chinese accent like, “Man must be wise like potato chip” and the
classic, “He who hesitay mus’ pause” and probably a couple others maybe
even “luck suck f*ck duck. Rife nah orrays av lime or
leazon.” We went back and forth killing a couple hours then it
was getting time to take flight so I think I said something like, “Hey,
it’s been one of the greatest times I’ve ever had but I gotta plane to
catch. I wouldn’t wanna spend the rest of my life as a couch
potato and there’s a whole world out there to see. Hope you don’t
get in trouble with your boss.” And then he said something like,
“I’ll be alright. You’d probably better get going. Yeah, I
had a great time too” or something like that. And I think I
finished with, “Break a leg cuz it’s bad luck to wish someone good luck
or whatever. Have a good one.” And off I went to grab the
plane.
What came of this : Well, it's actually really nice to be
remembered. It was around 1995 I believe before Mike Judge did
the Great Cornholio stuff in the Beavis & Butt-Head show. I
knew after that that Mike had gotten into animation. The other
good part is that I wasn't the celebrity or such that Mike
became. It's nice to know someone before all the fame and glory
stuff. I've never seen Mike since then, but with all that
happened, I hope he doesn't feel guilty about using the Great Cornholio
skit and such. We had no way of contacting each other and if he
hadn't done that bit in the Beavis & Butt-Head show, I never would
have remembered him or this stuff. I'm glad that Mike was able to
follow his dreams of going into animation. And Yes, The Great
Cornholio was originally from Cornholing New York and not Lake Titicaca
in Nicaragua.
What Happened : I was at Universal Studios and we showed up a
few
minutes after they were getting ready to close up. My sister was
arguing with the lady at the gate and saying that I had just came in
from New York, but I was like, "Let's go. They're closing."
And then the lady said, "OK, go on in" so we went in. Most of the
stuff was still operational and they still had the Conan reenactment
set going on. We watched. The sound had problems and the
actors ad-libbed it on stage as best they could. Then the show
ended and we all went outside including the actors. Next thing,
the Conan actor was talking to the magician character and the Conan guy
pointed towards me and said, "I wish I looked more like him. All
I get are these grunt roles. No real acting. I'm constantly
in the gym training and I have no time for anything else. My
trainer won't let me do anything anyway because he's worried I might
pull a muscle." And the magician is just nodding his head and
then we move on to the big attraction. At this time they were
working on closing up the movie "Back To the Future Part Two" and
possibly moving on to "Back To the Future Part Three". But they
had the site all set up for a movie filming and they grabbed everyone
and put us behind a barricade to shoot what would be a dropped sequence
for Part Two. It was thought of to be the opening scene where Doc
Brown (Christopher Lloyd who was there on set) would come out of Mel's
Diner and say "Oh my God, it's a galaxy of stars." with all this stuff
going on at the diner. There were a lot of extras on this set and
they had the T-Birds (which I think Jim Carey may have been the T-Bird
combing his hair back in the scene) in the back and girls on roller
skates with trays, another girl on roller skates with a paddle ball,
and many different things in the background with extras on the
set. So me, my sister, and a couple of my sister's friends were
watching this behind the barricade. Each time it was, "Take 2.
Quiet on the set. Roll 'em. Action." And each time
everything went according to plan and each time Christopher Lloyd came
out and forgot his line or tried a different line. I saw an
outtake once where they had the "oh my God" line in it as a final take,
but they tried many different lines each time. And several times
Christopher Lloyd just came out and said, "I forgot my line,
sorry." So "Take 3. Take 4,.. Take 9, Take 10." Not
sure how many takes on this, but it was a lot. Anyway, the worst
part was that I was back behind the barricade going, "Gee, there's a
whole lotta extras on this set and a whole lotta stuff going on.
I hope no one has to fart because a fart would just ruin this take and
they'd have to do it all over again." For at least three takes,
each time, I went, "Gee, I hope no one has to fart this time
either." And each take... After about the 6th or 7th take I
leaned over to the Director and asked, "Do you mind if me and my friend
jump over the fence and wander around the park a little bit?",
And she was like, "Sure, no problem, go ahead." And so me and my
sister's friend jumped over the fence and wandered around the park a
little bit so that hopefully they might get the scene shot.
Honest, no one farted during all those takes, but there was a bit of
laughing between takes (even from Christopher Lloyd) for some reason.
What came of this : An outtake (I believe) for the Back To
the Future
Part Two movie that was planned as the opening sequence to the movie
but the movie was almost ready to be released and the scene had some
problems (well, I think I was a problem anyway). I've always
kinda wondered if that was Jim Carey as the hair combing T-Bird on the
set because I was wearing my black leather jacket with my name 'Ace'
sewn in the back with chains. You never know.
What happened : After getting back from my Wild West trip and
after the
new year, Rosemary told me a secret about herself that later was
confirmed. When Rosemary was younger, she was seeing a guy that
was a drummer in a band. The band was Edison Lighthouse and their
big hit single was "Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)" in the late
60's early 70's. The drummer told the lead singer a story about
Rosemary and the lead singer, Tony Dowd, turned it into the song.
Rosemary never saw the drummer again after that.
What came of this : Well, how many people can say they've had
a hit
song written about them. You never know.
What happened : This
dream happened on October 3, 1994 and I woke but then went to sleep a
little while later. This dream ended at 2:30 am in the morning
and I went back to sleep at 4 am in the morning. The dream
started with me in knight’s armor on a white horse navigating a maze
with floors, walls and ceilings. The walls didn’t reach the top
of the ceiling but I couldn’t really see over the walls. Partway
through the maze I was still a knight in blue armor on a white horse
and battling another knight in green armor on a dark brown horse.
We both had lances. I knocked the other knight off his horse and
then proceeded outside this maze and then got off my high horse,
grabbed a sword and stuck it up into this white ceiling then kneeled
down on one knee looking down towards the floor. After sticking
the sword in the ceiling a voice stated, “In thirteen years you will
have a son.” I then went back to sleep thinking - I will have a
son? Who is the son's mother?
I had another
dream at 4 am. This dream started out with me at my old high
school and
going to my old high school locker with two women sitting in chairs
near my locker. There was one woman with blonde hair and one with
dark hair. The one with dark hair stood up from the chair and
slid a piece of paper into my locker then both women left. I
tried to open the locker but couldn’t remember the combination.
Next I just rotate the locker dial a little bit then pull on the handle
and the door opens. I find the piece of paper that looked like a
hall pass and the name on this hall pass was the name Mary K. Wilder
written in signature form. The blonde looked like Mary Beth from
1987 only older and a bit heavier. The dark haired woman looks
like a woman I would meet in 2003 named Brandi only she was heavier and
older as well in this dream. So now on October 3, 2007 between
2:30 am and 4:00
am I will have a son and the mother is Mary K Wilder (whoever this is).
Cool! Some stuff to think about
and drive
me nuts for thirteen
years. Awesome.
What came of this : Yeah, if you skip ahead, there is nothing
for
October 3, 2007. Go figure.
What happened : I started remembering my memories of Julie
Sage after
talking with a girlfriend of my cousin Bobby's. Her name was
Rochelle and for some reason something she said just brought back my
memories of Julie Sage and how I got my nickname, Ace, and such again.
What came of this : It's a long haul, but I started getting
my feelings
back again. I broke up with my girlfriend, Kay Moulthrop Hively,
not too
long after this. It was nothing she did. I was just
starting to become an emotional mess and I didn't want Kay to get
caught in the middle of all that. Kay was a nice and decent
person. I became an emotional mess again. We ended on good
terms as far as boyfriend and girlfriend. Still friends.
What happened : I was asked to take my grandmother Minnie to
a Yankees
baseball game for an early birthday present (she was born on September
16th) where the New York Yankees played the Kansas City Royals. I
think it was the 8th but may have been the 4th. Been a
while. Anyway, it was the seventh inning stretch I believe and I
left to go to the bathroom. I go to the bathroom and I'm standing
outside and waiting in a long line of probably about 50 or so other
guys waiting to use the bathroom. Down the corridor comes a man
with 4 women bowing before him and the women spreading purple orchids
at the man's feet. Yes, it was the former prince, now King of
Morocco that I had talked to in 1980 in Earth Science class.
Anyway, I say off to the side to the guys behind me, "You'd be
surprised how many people lose contact lenses these days." The
guys behind me are saying, "Do you know who that is. Many people
would give their right arm to shake his hand." Which is kinda
funny in its own way when you think about giving up your arm to shake
hands, but... And the King walks up to me and
shakes my hand and says,
"Thank you." and then walks away. I am pretty sure he got up the
courage and knowledge to talk to his father but I didn't ask. He
evidently became king so I figure my talk helped him, but I knew that
back in 1980 him talking to his father would help him more than anyone
else could. After shaking hands, the king
went back to where he came from with his servants and I still waited in
line. And then it was over and I finally got to the bathroom
about 5 minutes later. I went back to my grandmother and we
finished watching the game then left and caught the tour bus back to
Corning.
What came of this : People are people. We each have our
own lives
to live. I guess he talked to his father and also realized that
he is to be king and do as he does, just like his father did.
Well, not just like, for we each have our own things to do in our own
time. But truthfully, how many people shake hands with a king
that says, "Thank you" while you are waiting in line to take a leak
having women spread orchids at a person's feet and all that.
Life's cool that way some times. And sometimes, you wish you had
been the one to think of "People would give their right arm to shake
his hand." instead of "lost contact lenses.", but not to be.
What happened : I have done a bunch of things for the
fighting game
engine MUGEN, but the most interesting one still is working with
Willoughby Jackson (Paul Webber - Rochester NY) and his brother
ChairmanKaga (Chris Webber - Michigan). Paul was on the TESTP
Forum (which is now gone) and was working on a Mortal Kombat Scorpion
character. Paul was a night watchman in Rochester, NY (in an area
called Webster I believe). I asked
Paul if we could email and he said he couldn't because his work
wouldn't allow it. The forum had some strict rules at the time
about posting coding on the site, but we did anyways. The first
part was the Scorpion coming out of the floor move and Paul, Chris and
I (GohanSSM2) all realized later that it would have to be an illusion
with the
sprites being cut off to make it appear like he came through the
floor. The next part was the rough part and I posted an outline
of what needed to be done to make Mortal Kombat type fatality moves in
MUGEN. After this and the fact that there was no way Paul was
going to understand the method behind this, Chris Webber and I talked
back and forth through email about how to go about the fatality
coding. But when I first talked to Chris by email, Chris thought
I knew about the 1993 University of Michigan basketball game and the
technical
foul for not having any time outs left. Seems like every time
Chris talked to people, they always seemed mad at him for the mistake
in 1993. Chris even said he had to change his name because of
death threats and people calling him up at 2 to 3 am yelling about how
could he have messed that up in 1993. And it was 2000 and it
still continued I guess. Chris and I worked out the details and
Chris figured things out on his own anyway. But Chris had a lot
on his mind as did I and after both of us got too used to arguing with
others, we just publicly argued because we were just that used to it
with everyone. So around October / November 2000 was the last I
heard from Chris Webber. Chris's brother Paul released the
Scorpion character around October 2000 as Willoughby Jackson. And
Chris helped and did a lot of the coding with the Scorpion
character. After the TESTP forum collapsed, Chris
disappeared. Chris's brother Paul stayed around for about a year
or two then disappeared too. But the truth is that the Mortal
Kombat fatality type coding for MUGEN was originally done by a guy that
had a rough life because of a bad situation in a basketball game.
And no, for the record, not at any time did Chris ever appear to be an
'idiot' or such.
What came of this : Well, even though he made a mistake in
1993, people
never seemed to forgive Chris Webber. Even after helping people
with learning how to do Mortal Kombat fatality coding, publicly, most
people think Chris Webber must be an idiot because of a basketball
game. The truth is that Chris Webber was smart enough to figure
out how to do Mortal Kombat fatality coding before other 'brainiacs'
were able to figure it out. The truth is, politics suck!
Popularity contests and the truth never come out right. But
fortunately, Chris Webber did what he did not for any other reason
except to prove to himself he could do it. And he did.
What happened : I was in a fighting game engine community called
MUGEN. There were a bunch of people in the community that had
been
learning about 'hacking' as we had several in the community that had
been hacking other people.
One that had been hacked that I knew about was a guy named kuzu-bei who
had left MUGEN before I started in June 2000. After some
discussions I
had on a board called TESTP I got a private email from kuzu-bei asking
me to stop asking the others questions and just let things go.
kuzu-bei had been hacked and he had left the community and just wished
to be left alone. I was right in assuming that others had not had
his
actual permission to use his coding, however, after he had been hacked
and left the community, he did not care anymore and kuzu-bei stated to
me that anyone could use his coding now just so long as they left him
alone. The hacking came after kuzu-bei had been talking with
someone
named 'The Necromancer' and while chatting another named 'Kogason' had
hacked into kuzu-bei's computer and got kuzu-bei's passwords and
such.
Kogason then proceeded to hack kuzu-bei's web site and kuzu-bei's
posting accounts on forums and such. After the mess, kuzu-bei
wanted
nothing more to do with MUGEN. That was that and kuzu-bei told me
that
in the private email that he sent me that he appreciated my concern but
he just wished to be left alone and didn't want to take a chance of
being hacked any more.
And just before Halloween 2000, I had been hacked myself. An
individual asked me to chat with them while on AOL and while on AOL,
another had hacked into my computer and got some (not all) of my
passwords including my EZ-Board password. I noticed it had
happened as
I saw an extra person on the LAN (Local Area Network) that I was using
to connect to the internet. It showed up under "Network
Connections"
which I had open at the time as I did not trust AOL chat after the
email from kuzu-bei. I was right. I never used AOL chat
again after
this incident. I also avoided the usenet (#usenet) as well.
These
places were loaded with hackers as these sites made computers
vulnerable to security breaches as they opened up a computer's firewall
and left people vulnerable to hacker attacks.
Around late October 2000, I was hacked a little before Halloween.
I
got my accounts and such back around November 4, 2000 after I used the
'back door' in my accounts. During that time I had asked the guy,
ReACtOrZ (the bass player for a techno pop band called ''JuNo ReACtOrZ"
or something like that) and he suspended my account until after I got
it back. ReACtOrZ had a friend named razorgolem that had been a
hacker
at one time but was reformed after being hacked himself.
razorgolem
was a quiet person now but used to be very arrogant and cocky before I
met him, as being a hacker, most hackers start feeling invincible or
invulnerable until it happens to them. razorgolem and I shared a
few
stories together but razorgolem had learned his lesson about
hacking.
The lesson was that 'the madness' doesn't stop until after you,
yourself, stop. The madness is the feeling that you are
invincible or
invulnerable and that you can do whatever you want. Anarchy is
'the
madness'. No rules. It seems all right until you go further
and
realize that others are not following rules either and are doing
whatever they want too. And it is all well and fine until what
you are
doing unto others happens back to you and then you feel how it feels to
be hacked. razorgolem had asked if I had ever been a hacker as he
noticed I had done some computer programming with a couple Doom and
MUGEN utilities. I had told razorgolem that I knew the processes,
but
I had never crossed the line that a hacker crosses of doing things to
others that you wouldn't like it if it was done to you. I told
him I
also knew MASM and TASM (machine language programming) and that I used
an old DOS program, HXED, to look inside coding and such if the need
arose. I also told him I knew about the password storage files of
Windows and a few other files like "user.dat" and such and how to
bypass the 'hidden' file label on a file to make the file(s) visible.
Anyway, I am pretty sure it was in 2001 (maybe 2002 or 2003 even, been
a while) and I was at a forum called MUGEN Being. While on this
forum
ran by a guy named Infiinma and his little buddy, Kirby, I had run
across a hacker by the name of Jeff K. elsewhere. Jeff K. had
been
getting notoriety on the internet as being a hacker and hacking
people's web sites. Jeff K. would start an argument with someone
and
then 'discuss' it with them on AOL or such and in the process gain
their passwords. Afterwards, Jeff K. would "goatse" their site
with
stuff like "Yuo h4s be goatse by da l33t Jeff K. Yuo no l!k3 Jeff
K.
Jeff K. l!k3 yuo and l!k3 goatse 2. Y yuo no lik3 goatse?
Yuo n0t
l33t l!k3 Jeff K." And he would add goat pictures to their sites
and
use a lot of w4r3z type spellings to make people think he was crazy and
insane. Jeff K. also noticed that I had a habit of making others
think
I was 'crazy and insane' too. I had also noticed that Jeff K. had
a
rule and that rule was that he would not hack someone unless they had
got into an argument with him. Jeff K. and I did not argue but I
hit
Jeff K. with the idea of "someday someone is going to get you back and
do the things that you have been doing to others back to you. How
have
you been sleeping lately? Is it worth all that worrying and
aggravation for when that day comes? You wouldn't like it if it
was
done to you and the only way to end the madness is if it never gets
done at all. But even better, as I know you are a good person
deep
down inside, you could actually help others and teach others how to
protect themselves and you could be a real hero someday instead of
worrying all the time like I figure you've been doing." No
argument
between us and I guess apparently Jeff K. turned himself in not too
long after that.
What happened after this : Stuff. Whatever that stuff may
be. Maybe
we could all learn something someday. Maybe not. But most
times it is
the ideas of people and not necessarily the people themselves that
become problems. Maybe or maybe not again. Choices.
We all make choices. Myself included as I am a people too.
What happened : Well, I had got a job as a school bus driver
with a
local non school district busing company. There was a huge
problem as I ended up getting myself in the middle of a bunch of
garbage and if you look at my history, there was a conviction
involved. Note also, I pled guilty as if I hadn't, certain people
may have walked away unscathed. Unfortunately, a few that needed
to be scathed got away, almost. There are a few people that know
to stay away. There is a difference too between stay away and
don't come near. Maximilian Adalbert Baer Junior is don't come
near. Don't come near means we can still talk just don't come
near in case I may snap. Several people made my stay away list
after this in 2004 and later. Stay away means if I ever catch you
near me, you are done. But there was a girl named Brandi that a
bunch of people around her had pulled some stuff and as a result,
done. As far as Brandi, in 1984 I believe I had met Brandi's
mother Nina. Nina was having problems at the time and had left
her husband because Nina had found out that her husband had done some
things that were not right. Nina took her kids and left her
husband and had been living with others to get away from her
husband. Nina had a thought that maybe if she could get rid of
Brandi that maybe it might be OK to go back to her husband.
Brandi had a habit of making up stories, but something about this story
made Nina think that Brandi was telling the truth. Brandi had
told her mother the truth. After Nina and I talked, Nina realized
that she had done the right thing for her and her family. It was
rough on Nina, but after our talk, Nina knew that she had done the
right thing as best as she could as the system really did not protect
and going through the system was not going to work. Nina asked if
I would adopt Brandi at first, but then Nina realized that she
shouldn't try to run away from her real problem. I was 23 at the
time this happened. Nina and the kids got found and the kids were
broken up and put in foster care later on. It was a mess later on
for Nina, but not at this time. But after Nina and I had talked,
Nina realized that her daughter had been telling her the truth and that
her ex husband had some serious problems that weren't going to go away
and that the system's "help" was not going to actually help. That
was in 1984. 2003 and 2004 I kept wondering why something seemed
familiar about this girl Brandi that I was working with. Brandi
was about 10 years younger than me. I had forgot about all that
with Nina as that was 20 years earlier. Brandi was having
problems in college and so I started helping to tutor her like I had
done with many others. You know, acronyms and that kind of
stuff. Brandi had a couple kids that she was paying child support
on as well as another kid, Logan, that was living with her and her
boyfriend, Craig, at this time. Brandi had a couple ex husbands
and was a mess herself. Her boyfriend was a bigger mess.
One of her ex husbands, Jimmy Siebert was actually a step uncle of
mine. Brandi had a son, Logan, that was living with her and Jimmy
had started calling him Bubby because Logan reminded Jimmy of me when I
was little. When I met Logan, yes there was a little draw between
us. Brandi had also tried to get me to be her 'boyfriend' but I
kept thinking there was something odd going on here so that did not
happen and I wasn't about to let it happen either. Help with
school, yes. Boyfriend, no. Jimmy had a couple kids that
Brandi had helped raise, but these kids were step cousins of mine and
as it was family, we knew that the only good Siebert was Kenny Siebert
and Kenny had died in a motorcycle accident on his way home from Viet
Nam in I believe 1969. And that still holds true that the only
good Siebert was Kenny. The rest were trash and it showed and
still shows to this day. But anyway, this became a big mess as
Craig and those around Brandi were and are still trash. They
started making up stories and accusing me of stuff. I started
writing things down. I still have what I wrote backed up
elsewhere. Yes, this is a very long story, but I would rather
just shorten it for this as I have the details elsewhere. I got
accused of Stalking in the fourth degree. Unbeknownst to me, this
Public Defender I was assigned arranged for the Assistant District
Attorney to get the charge bumped up from a Class B Misdemeanor to a
Class A Misdemeanor of Aggravated Second Degree Harassment and a bigger
mess. But I signed the paperwork and then I proceeded to alert
others that were higher up that there was a huge problem here.
Others agreed and in the end, two police officers were asked to retire
or else, the Assistant District Attorney became the Assistant to the
Coroner within about 3 to 4 months of my case being 'settled', the
judge was later asked to resign about 4 years later or else (there
weren't any transcripts and oddly, a higher up had been in court that
day that I signed the paperwork and this judge had lied in court to
this higher up, so...), and the public defender was asked to resign as
well about 5 years later after many cases had been reviewed and several
found to be suspicious. But honestly, if I had not pled guilty to
that plea, several individuals would have probably been still
'practicing' law instead of performing legal duties. Had it gone
to trial with a jury and such, I would have been acquitted. I
signed the paperwork. A lot of 'fishy' activity was
investigated. Things happened. In all honesty, why the blue
blazes would I stalk anyone? I wasn't following anyone
around. Others were following me and I had it all documented and
my documentation of events checked out. The conviction against me
didn't check out, but I let it stand as a reminder that sometimes you
just have to do what you got to do. But as a result, Brandi's
boyfriend, Craig, as well as the Public Defender I was assigned, Jim,
as well as several others figured out that it was best to never come
near me again. As far as Logan, he became a lost cause and ended
up being nothing like me and no one calls him Bubby anymore. As
far as Craig and the others, there was a 'baffling' case in the area of
a gang calling themselves 'The Outlaws' that oddly seemed to be the
same ones I was dealing with. Um, I sent a huge packet of papers
to the District Attorney, John, that helped him solve who this 'gang'
was. Yeah, I know there is this big 'mark' on my name, but I went
from a job making $300 bucks every two weeks to a job where I made over
$300+ bucks every week (many times 500 or more as I had told my boss,
"They keep driving passed my house. I'm always available because
I am actually safer here than I am at my own house so feel free to use
me any time." My boss thought I was joking at first, but he did
find out that I wasn't joking). But if I hadn't got the mark up
against my name, others may have got away with many more things than
what they did do before being caught. I'm good, but others
haven't been as lucky as they thought they would be. I'm thankful
that I don't have to live a lie like others have been doing. I
mean really, Brandi was almost my adopted daughter in 1984, and a bunch
of retards kept trying to make people think I wanted Brandi to be a
girlfriend or whatever. I don't think so. I'm not like
that. It was a nice learning experience for me, but others I
guess don't learn so well. And when they don't learn, move on,
which I did for the most part. I started work for another company
on July 5, 2007 and I still work there even after February 1, 2020 when
I added this section.
What came of this : A bunch got added to my 'stay away'
list.
Craig, Kevin, Brian, Missy, Jenn, and my so called lawyer, Jim
definitely got added to that list. Done. No talking.
Stay away if you know what's good for you because you will die once I
get a hold of you if you are stupid enough to come around me
again.
My stay away list. My 'do not come near' list is as a
precautionary measure as someone snapped and I could possibly snap too
so it is best to stay safe and keep a safe distance from each other
just in case either of us snaps again. Me and someone on my 'do
not come near' list can still talk about stuff and who knows maybe some
day they can be removed from that list. Once on the 'stay away'
list. Done. No talking. Done. Over. Stay
away! No removal from that list but probable removal of your life
if you are stupid enough to come near me again after being
warned. Only one warning as well for the life of an individual on
my 'stay away' list. Also, I wrote a long piece called 'Now
Syndrome' based on this mess. It is a very emotional piece and
almost no one has been able to read it without understanding what abuse
is really about and how it can be stopped even though the effects will
still linger. This piece,
http://www.theeaceman.com/nowsyndrome.doc
. Written by me in 2006
after being sent into an abuse class that not surprisingly did not help
me at all, but as usual, I was able to help others in the
process. How would you feel if what you did to someone else was
done back to you? I made my point! Others can't help
because the truth was and is considered to be too religious and since
church and state are to be separated, truth is separated as well.
Well, almost since I wasn't working for the state at the time or
religion either for that matter. The truth.
What happened : Luggage delivery. 2 different houses
that were
about 4 to 5 houses apart. I delivered the first bag to a house
that was on the corner at 2:45:08 PM and literally ran down the street
to deliver at the next house (4 or 5 houses down) at 2:45:58 PM.
Our setup is within 5 minutes and so I was at 2 different places at the
same time 2:45 PM. And they said it couldn't be done. You
can't be two places at the same time. I did it, kinda.
What came of this : Nuttin'. Just one of those you
can't do this;
you can't do that kinda things that you just wanna do sometimes just to
say you did it. Well, kinda did it anyway.
Where : Route 86 West Between Wilawana, and Chemung, NY
Who : a NOMAC Derrick Hand & Me
What happened : Well, there were usually 4 people on this
NOMAC run,
but three of the other guys decided to leave the camp the night before
and stay at the Holiday Inn Express in Horseheads. I went from
expecting 4 passengers to having just 1. About three weeks
before, my watch had finally died after 12 (a dozen) years and instead
of the usual silver band, I got the gold watch I have now. I
always religiously set my watch for 5 minutes ahead until after this
incident in 2012. I picked the derrick hand up and it was a clear
sky normal afternoon (around 11 am to noon, somewhere in there).
We were going from the NOMAC Man Camp in Sayre / Athens PA and heading
to the Elmira / Corning Regional Airport in I believe van 939.
After passing the Wilawana exit ramp with not much traffic an odd thing
happened. We were on Interstate 86 heading West and all of a
sudden all the traffic we came upon was stopped on the highway.
Not stopped as in applying the brakes, but stopped as in we were moving
but no one else was. Believe it or not, somehow time for everyone
else but us two had stood still. It was real creepy because each
vehicle we passed was just standing there and I slowed the vehicle down
to 55 mph just in case. My passenger was nearly freaking out and
was looking around and said, "What's going on? Do you know?
Everything is standing still?" I looked over at a white mini van
that we passed and you could see a little girl (about 8 years old) with
her face pressed up against the window making a face, but she couldn't
seem to see us or move. She was just stuck in suspended animation
making a weird face pressed into the window. There was a black
pickup truck right behind the mini van and that was not moving
either. We went about 2 and a half miles and passed about 5 to 7
cars and however many cars that were on the other side (86 East) and
about the time we started getting near the Chemung exit things were
moving again. I later figured that everything and everyone else
was frozen in time for about 2 minutes and 24 seconds because my watch
still kept time, but my phone time was stuck too. Instead of my
watch being 5 minutes fast, it was only 2 minutes and 36 seconds fast
now. When my passenger asked the questions I tried to remain calm
and told him, "Yeah, something weird's going on here, try not to
panic. We'll be OK. I'm slowing down a little so that when
things come back to normal we shouldn't have any problems. I
don't know what's really going on either, but I'm sure we'll find out
once we get back to the airport. We'll be OK." And like I
said, after about 2 minutes and 24 seconds, things around us were
moving again like normal. We got to the airport and the other 3
guys that stayed at the Holiday Inn Express said when we arrived, "Are
you OK? We heard there was a fatality out near Waverly about a
half hour ago involving a white mini van. We thought it might be
you but it wasn't you, was it? That's a relief." But no
wild vortex or any of that other sci fi type special effects type
stuff. The Earth didn't appear to stand still or any of that
either. We were just somehow going through time at a normal rate
while everything else was suspended in time for 2 minutes and 24
seconds. I think, but not positive, that the derrick hand's first
name was Shawn and he was a part of a group of four that we dubbed "The
Four Musketeers".
What came of this : I'm pretty sure the time / space
continuum theory
can't explain this one. Nothing else I know of can explain it
either. But me and a derrick hand from NOMAC Drilling are 2
minutes and 24 seconds older than everyone else for some odd
reason. Stuff happens.
Where : Elmira / Corning Regional Airport, Big Flats NY
Who : The Son of God
What happened : In 2016 I remember a lady walking by the
Terp's counter
and talking about her son being able to speak in all different
languages. After the lady, Mindy, walked by, they went over to
the Hertz counter and I distinctly heard him say over the counter to
Daryl at Hertz, "I can speak in all languages". April / May and
Dave (a car shuttler for Avis) comes over and his older son is on the
other side of the counter. Dave and Mindy are married and I
recognized their oldest son as the one who had talked over the counter
to Daryl at Hertz about a year before. The other part, even
though older (about 9 years old), I recognize him as being the 3 year
old sitting on Shaddai's (God's) lap back in 1973 / 1974. It's
definitely him, but he doesn't know it yet nor do his mom, dad, younger
brothers, or step older sister. He didn't wear eyeglasses in 2016
when I first saw him, but he wears eyeglasses now. And a blind
man shall lead them...
What came of this : Well, I'm pretty sure now that I'm not
the actual
'blind man that will lead them'. As far as this... Time
will tell. His birthday I believe is June 11th. They
live in Elmira near the old Joycrest Rollerskating Rink. Just
when you think things can't get more interesting...
What happened : I was making a music CD of material to play
on a school
bus (which I still haven't played it on the bus) and the third song I
used on that CD was "Sing" by The Carpenters. My memories of
Karen Carpenter started coming back. My emotions started coming
back as well. My feelings came back after remembering Julie Sage;
my emotions came back after remembering Karen. As I warned people
around me, "I am back to being me again, that smart aleck that everyone
remembers as Ace is back again." But after being just a 'thinker'
for quite a while, it's nice coming back to being that emotional
thinker that people used to either openly embrace or run and hide
from. It depends on how others behave towards me honestly.
Those that talk and seek advice and honesty and such start learning to
embrace me. Those looking to cause problems and wishing to be
dishonest and such learn to run away and hide from my emotional
intellect. And yes, emotional intellect. It is possible to
have both. The problem is that most people either rely on emotion
or intellect and not both. Most people when angry, do not think
straight. With emotional intellect you can be angry while still
thinking straight. And that scares people. But emotional
intellect also means that you can care too and honestly mean what you
say and say what you mean unlike most people that are just looking to
get something back by pretending they 'care'. Mr. Do Unto Others
As You Would Have Others Do Unto You. Mr. Meek. Mr.
Honesty. Mr. Emotional Intellect. Ace. Shaddai's
(God's) grandson, Metatron (Ace, Me). Me, Myself, and I back to
being the same person again.
What came of this : Me again. A return to Me, Myself
and I.
But I still
have a way to go yet, but it's a start...
And the most interesting
part is that these stories were told to me
before I realized what all this fuss was about. And now looking
back on this, this is the way it should be. According to legend,
the only one to have a double-nerved upper left bicuspid tooth is the
one referred to as Enoch / Metatron aka 'The Holy Scribe', 'The Prince
of the Presence (Countenance)', 'The Knower of Secrets', and the
like... I am supposedly the one that most individuals (in spirit
form) get their information from after they pass away. And the
nice part is that they got to meet me as well as I got to meet
them. No bowing or any of that nonsense, but on equal terms for
the most part.
And really, you'd be surprised how many people that have
interesting
stories, but most people anymore just don't want to take the time and
listen or may not be in the mood to talk. But most of these
conversations and such I've had were with people that you really
wouldn't expect to have these kind of stories. But they
did. And who knows, you may have some interesting stories to tell
yourself.
And on a graduational note (after
finals usually
comes
graduation), please learn to be kind and respectful of others and their
wishes. My big problem with people has been those that are
'pushy' and
just care about themselves and such. Buttholes (Meek are the ones
that
follow the same rules they ask others to follow whereas Buttholes are
those that make rules for others to follow but do not follow the same
rules themselves). There are reasons why many people like to have
their privacy. Respect that. As far as myself, I'm God's
(Shaddai's)
grandson and I have been allowed to have my privacy for over half a
century now. I did not intend to in the beginning, but after
writing
about my own experiences and such I have realized that most of the
'sacred' and 'religious' type works are lacking in some form or
another. I searched for more and possibly better answers. I
found
that many of my personal experiences contradicted what has been said
and written while others reinforced certain ideas and thought processes
and such. Is there something wrong with learning instead of
trying to
pretend like you know and have all of the answers? And how can
someone
learn when they try to make believe that they have all of the answers
when they don't? And how do you get answers? Exactly, be
patient and
respectful of others and their wishes.
Other people came around me. I didn't go looking to meet people
and such. It just happened as it should.
How would you like your
whole
life story all over the place. Even worst, how would you like it
if
people were spreading rumors about you that aren't true, but you have
no idea that these rumors are even being spread? You have an idea
because others are all of a sudden acting strange around you.
What's
up? How should I know? For those that have been through it,
we know
the score. Look at what has been written about Metatron.
And honestly, how many people are looking around to
find
God's grandson? Now, if you found him, would you talk to
him? Would
you ignore him? And supposedly I have a twin brother named
Sandalphon
who was apparently the prophet Elijah and also I am not sure about Noah
and his wife nor Abram (Abraham) and his wife Sarai (Sarah) as I do not
remember Karen having those in her past lives. Think about
it. Ask
questions. Have patience. Think some more. Ask more
questions. Have
more patience. Am I looking to hide? No. Others have
been hiding
me. I had an Order of Suppression ('gag order') placed on me so
that
my name and likeness could not be used in the papers. And
honestly how
many times has someone asked "Are you the grandson of God (Allah,
etc.)?" in a normal conversation. God is Shaddai (Allah, Creator,
etc.). God's son is Emmanuel (Holy Spirit). God's grandsons
are
Metatron (me, Metatron) and Sandalphon and are there more
possibly?
Sons? Daughters? Husbands? Lords? Wives?
Ladies? Also, my spirit
(Metatron) was the same spirit attached to Enoch the seventh removed
from Adam and Noah's great grandfather. Edna (Lady Metatron
apparently) was Enoch's mate and Noah's great grandmother. So
that
would make everyone children of God (Shaddai, etc.) now wouldn't
it?
And since all are related to Him, then what? The good, the bad
and the
ugly? And what if you were able to meet the actual Metatron
(grandson)? Then what? Sandalphon? God (Shaddai,
Allah, Creator,
etc.)? Emmanuel (Holy Spirit, son of God, etc.)? Lady
Metatron? Lady
Shaddai? Lady Emmanuel? Lady Sandalphon? And think
about when you
create something. Wouldn't you like that thing (or person or
whatever)
to be important too or else what would be the point of creating
it? Yes, things have been written, but how
many times have things been rewritten because what was written was not
right? Correct? Who
are you really? Are ewe really girl sheep? Only you (ewe)
can answer
that. Sheep? Shepherd? You (Ewe) [not to be confused
with Eve which
is another story].